The Pony-Filled Life of Alexis Creek

by NightmareMoon

Dun Dun Dun - PART TWO!

I can almost hear the dramatic music playing as I, Alexis Creek, awesomely am riding on a chariot to that Whats-It village that has the Whats-It-Named Mountain! (Really? I don't hear any music! Is it polka? I love polka! Ooh, and I also love cupcakes!) Don't say the c-word, Pinkie! (What, you mean cupcakes? Why not? A cupcake is a light and fluffy treat with icing! Ooh, I love icing, too!) Yes, but... remember? Cupcakes?! (Oh, you mean that video with me -)

That was me silencing Pinkie Pie by screaming in my head, for the last time, Pinkie, just don't say the c-word! You know what it's about, and besides, if this is a fanfiction, it's probably rated Everyone! Don't want to change it to Mature, do you?!

((Hey! You know, why does everyONE leave out me?)

Lyra, why do you keep saying everyone? It's everypony, isn't it? I mean, over here, in Equestria. Oh, no. Are you still obsessed with humans? Lyra, after I took away your whole collection of one hundred ninety-five books and diaries all revolving around humans. You just bought more, didn't you?

((Yup! Of course I did! You know, you can't change a mare's hopes, dreams and desires in life! Unless you're Applebloom. Then, you definitely can. Have I ever told you about that one time when the Crusaders blew up my house and my entire collection of one thousand, two hundred sixty-four point five six eight books about humans?))

Point five six eight? What?

(I can't explain it either. And I'm Pinkie Pie. I can understand about everything.)

Anyways. Right now, I'm awesome! Oh, gosh, I'm sounding exactly like Rainbow Dash. I'm sorry if I made you puke. Why would I speak like that?

(I don't know!) Pinkie Pie. You're right next to me on this chariot why can't you just talk?

(Because I'm making cupcakes! And every good baker knows that if you talk when you're doing cupcakes, The Doctor takes them and eats them with a banana! He likes bananas, you know. Oh, by the way, what's your favorite episode? I love that one with the weeping angels and the Blink thing! I feel sorry for Sally, though.. hehe! Sorry for Sally! Sorry, Sally, sorry, Sally, sorry... I could say this all day!)

My brain tuned out about a second after the started rambling, so all I caught was Blink and The Doctor. What? (I said, every good baker knows that pears are horrible!)

Again, what?

(I SAID, EVERY GOOD BAKER KNOWS THAT PEARS ARE HORRIBLE!)

AAAAAAHH! Pinkie Pie, you don't have to yell! Oh my gosh, I'm going to have a headache for the rest of this trip. Thank you, Pinkie Pie. You always just make my day. Anyway, where were we? Okay, we're landing. I can tell, because so far I've been on a ton of chariots, and when they try to land they spread out there wings and use them like parachutes. If they landed the normal way, I would be screaming right now. Well, I was screaming a minute ago.

"Yup, you sure were, Silly Billy!" I hear a hyper voice say right next to me. The chariot started to shake and a second later, Pinkie's face was squished to mine and her eyes were right above mine. I almost fell out of my chariot from all the shaking, which was caused by Pinkie's jumping, but Pinkie nudged me back to where I was before I had the chance to fall.

"Thank you," I mumbled, but I didn't have to. Obviously. Because I thanked her in my mind. Well, not really, I was just thinking it at the time. Wow. I am never getting used to this, seriously.

But Pinkie heard me anyway, and in about a nanosecond her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree and she choked... I mean, hugged me.

Wow. Here I am, in Equestria... in Equestria... IN EQUESTRIA! Oh my gosh... I never really appreciated this before but OH MY GOSH I'M IN EQUESTRIA! DANCE, PONIES, DANCE!

((What?!))

Oh, gosh... Lyra heard that?

(I heard it, too! Why do you want ponies to dance?)

Umm... I didn't literally mean I wanted you to dance. (Really? Because I like to dance!) Wow. Really? ((I like to dance, too! I invented this epic move where I stand on my forelegs! It's called The Human!))

Shut up, Lyra.

((Do the Human, yeah, yeah, do the Human!))

I told you to shut up, Lyra. Did you not hear me? I am sick of you and your humans. First time we met was nice, you know, nice chat, not really obsessed, but now you are just plain annoying! Maybe even more annoying than Pinkie Pie!

((......really? WAAAAAAAA!))

Umm... there, there, Lyra-Wyra... I, um... didn't mean it? Okay, yes I did.

You know, I keep straying off topic. Everypony, just shut your mouths or stick a hoof in it or whatever you ponies say around here. We're landing on that Whats-It-Called Mountain that I will henceforth call The Awesome Mountain of Epic Dragon Awesomeness.

(Wow. Catchy.)

The Awesome Mountain of Epic Dragon Awesomeness is up ahead, and I should say it's amazing. It's about as tall as the Empire State Building and it's peak is straight. Like, exactly STRAIGHT. Which is super creepy. Just saying...

The peak is covered in snow, so it's lucky I brought a coat. Well, more like grateful that Rarity made one for me last moment. And she even stuffed it with feathers, which I'm sure was mentally scarring for her. So, now, I have a comfy coat that's probably going to last a long time (not to mention isn't girly, which I have tried to tell her to avoid for the last month or so because I hate girly clothes. Before that, every single piece of clothing she made for me was sticky with glue from all the jewels, gemstones, fake multi-colored feathers, sparkles, and excessive beads. Just saying.)

We can't land on the peak, of course, because like I said before, the peak is literally STRAIGHT up. No wonder Dragon Dude chose The Awesome Mountain of Epic Dragon Awesomeness. It certainly lives up to it's name. Not to mention, it's huge! I'm starting to not be certain if I want to do this or not, because if this whole thing is his home, how big is he?

"He's pretty big," Pinkie said, reading my thoughts. Her mane was starting to deflate, and I could tell what she was thinking. Not because of the telepathy (well, not exactly telepathy, I call it the Mind-Link thing), it was written across her face.
We were both thinking the same thing. What if this wasn't such a good idea? Besides, we don't even have the Elements.

((But you have hands!))

I was about to tell her for the last time to shut up, but then I realized it.

I have hands!

I HAVE HANDS!

The one thing that ponies don't have alongside a human's brilliant mind. Hands. Delicate hands that can do all sorts of things. And I'm sure there will be some way to use them. He's trying to test me, to see how smart I really am... that's what the manticore said in our latest meeting. But that means, if this time is just a test, he's trying to focus on my strategy. Which means I have to change my strategy up a little. And why is he testing me? Is he hiding something from me, or is he worried?

There's no way to tell.

((Wow. I really gave you an inspirational spark? Yayz for me! I was just reminding you that humans are awesome, but I guess your explanation is much better, so... I'll go with that! Okay, yeah! No need to thank me, I'm just Lyra Heartstrings... bein' awesome...))

This is so much more complicated than I originally thought. But there's one extremely big, gaping hole, that Dragon Dude forgot about. When he made me immortal, well, that means I can't die for now, until the Link is closed (which is when Dragon Dude dies. But I'm not planning to kill him, not for the sake of being immortal all my life, just because I don't want to. It seems wrong, killing people, even if they want to kill me.) Which means, I'm more likely to win in a fight than he is because he isn't immortal. He just has an extremely long life and is a bit tough to kill. Which all I can say to that is, he's a dragon.

But... maybe he doesn't want to fight. If this Dragon Dude says he's as clever as he's always babbling about, no offense to the manticore, that means that he's not planning to fight. He's planning to see how smart I am. It's like a game... and I WILL win.