What happens when Alex Creek meets 6 specific people who aren't exactly supposed to exist??
Alexis Creek has always lived a normal life, except for one thing: she's a pegasister.
So what will happen when she is offered the opportunity of a lifetime? Find out. Okay, Alexis is more dragged there and everpony is scared to death by her and it turns out she.. nevermind, spoiler! Read to find out. (Ugh, so cliche!)
My name is Alexis Creek, but you already know that. And since I pity you, I'll cut the boring introduction and skip to the fun part. I mean, you know much more about me than I know about you, anyway. Besides, we have a schedule here! Or at least, I do. Okay, enough of this nonsense. It all started... Well, if you took a broad look at the thing, you'd say it all started when I was 12. That's when I began watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Now I know you're about to X out this story and start yelling at me and asking why I watch a show for little girls, but it's awesome! Anyway, today - by today I mean that strange day 3 years ago - I was at the diner, crying my eyes out. Before you're like, "What?" I'll explain, because obviously you don't know that much about me. When you're a high schooler and you watch shows like My Little Pony, people automatically assume there's something wrong with you. Just because you're a girl doesn't make up for it. You're still fourteen and watching a show meant for four-year-olds, and that's why I am not-so-proud to say, I was the laughing stock of the school. And yeah, at the time all I cared about was popularity, so I would say that I was shallow. Like, really, really shallow. If I had ever made a friend then, it would be for the sake of making a friend. Not to actually hang out and have fun. Still though, being alone isn't fun. Okay, and since I still haven't explained why I was crying, I'll go backwards a day and show you for myself...
* * *
The day was almost over. I glanced over to the clock, which seemed to go slower just to mock me. Tick, tock, tick, tock… It was super irritating, but all I wanted in that moment was to get out of there, escape everything and everyone. I looked at the teacher, who nobody was paying attention to. He was rambling on about the War of 1812, saying that did, in fact, begin in 1812. Everybody seemed very shocked at this (Not). I looked at the clock again. Three minutes. Three minutes until I could get out of there, three minutes to freedom, only three minutes more of school! 2:57. Tick, tock. The clock's hands rotated unbelievably slow. 2:58. Some kids started looking at the clock too. Others started playing on their phones discreetly. Some weren't even making the slightest bit of effort to conceal the fact that they weren't listening: some talking, some sleeping (how do they sleep on these terrible wooden desks?), some just passing notes around. Before I knew it, an extremely irritating, loud bell starting ringing: ring, ring, ring! I was out of there. I ran to my locker, stuffed all my homework and large collections of pony plushies, drawings, stories, posters, and pretty much everything there was to ponies into my poor backpack (I say "poor," because it has to deal with me), closed the locker door, and ran outside. Except, I stumbled. I hadn't had a chance to zip up my backpack yet, and everything came spilling out. And you know what happens now. Everybody was laughing at me. It was terrible. So I ran, to the closest place I could. Sparky's Diner.
* * *
It was weird. The place was almost always full, but today there was nobody except six really weird girls with multi-color hair and the worst fashion sense ever. I figured maybe they were heading off to a play or something, because they looked really strange. Meanwhile, I started crying my head off. The pink, curly-haired one looked confused as she came over but then started singing a song, one of which I knew very well. "I'm here to say, I'd love to make you smile and I will brighten up your day-a-ay. It doesn't matter now if you are sad or blue. 'Cause cheering up my friends is just what I am here to do. Because I love to make you smile, smile, smile! Yes I do." By this time I had cheered up already and started singing with her in perfect harmony. She looked even more confused. "Hey, how did you know that song? I made it up." I looked into her eyes. "Um, no you didn't. It's the Smile Song. Hey, you're a pegasister, right? I just realized you look exactly like the Mane Six!" She flinched. "No, I'm not a pony!" I raised my eyebrow. "I never said you were. So you're a pony?" The rest of the five girls started coming towards me, all looking shocked, confused, and scared at the same time. Meanwhile I was thinking, these people are crazy. "No, I'm not!" She said very forcefully, as if she was trying to convince herself. "How do you know my song? I demand to know! Are you a spy?" A spy? Who was she, and where was she from? "No, I'm a pegasister," I responded. I chose my words carefully."I watch this show called My Little Pony that's all about these ponies, called the Mane Six, that live in Equestria..." Just at that moment a bright light surrounded us, and suddenly I wasn't in Sparky's Diner anymore... Instead, I was in a meadow or something, surrounded by flowers and daisies and all kinds of nice, pretty little flowers. And more importantly, I didn't know where I was. Did they kidnap me or something? That's what I thought at first. But I changed my mind when I looked around me. Ponies, walking around (or is it trotting around?). But not just regular ponies, as in horses. Unicorns, pegasi, and earth ponies, like there were in My Little Pony. Something was seriously wrong here! And the people arounds me - the strange people from Sparky's Diner, who I had dismissed to be crazy - were ponies. Not just any ponies, though. Why were the people I had met just a few minutes ago, who I assumed were pegasisters (not daring to believe for one second that they actually were ponies) had magically somehow turned into the Mane Six...
When I was thrown on to the soft, abnormally green grass, my mind started buzzing.
"Oh my god they're not pegasisters, they're the Mane 6!"
"Am I really in Equestria?"
"Is this a dream? Or is it a sick prank?"
"Am I in a coma or something?"
My thought of possible explanations were muffled by the Mane 6, who were busily trotting around, getting the hang of 4 feet again. I realized that I was at least 2 feet taller than the other ponies. The ponies were only about 3 feet tall, not nearly as tall as real horses or ponies.
"No, no, no!" Twilight mutters. "bring a human into Equestria using a spell only I know, that only works twice..check!"
"What?!" I say. "Not that Equestria isn't great and all that, but I have to stay here forever...?"
I think for a moment. "Actually, now that I think about it, I don't care! I love Equestria! And I know all the ponies, too, which is even better... except I don't know some of the background ponies."
Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really? I bet you don't know me. What's my name? What do I do in my spare time? Tell me all about myself."
"Well, your name is Twilight Sparkle, Element of Magic. You have defeated Discord and Nightmare Moon with the other Elements of Harmony. You are the Princess's student and you write letters with your friends to the princess whenever you find out something about friendship. You love studying and frankly obsess on some things. Your assistant's name is Spike and he's a baby dragon. He used to be jealous of Owlicious, your other assistant and pet, but now he's not. Is that enough for you?"
Twilight nodded her head eagerly. "That's more then enough! But how did you know all that stuff?"
"Like I told you before, there's a TV show called My Little Pony that's about all 6 of you and the things you do. I love to watch it... and now it's a reality!"
"All rih, prove it." Applejack said.
"I can name most major cities... I think, at least."
"Okay, then do it, if you ain't scared of makin' a fool out'ta yourself."
"Canterlot is the capitol of Equestria, also where Twilight was born and raised; and some major cities are Baltimare, Fillydelphia, Manehatten, Trottingham, Las Pegasus, and Hoofington. Oh, yes! And do not forget Cloudsdale."
"For a human, it knows a lot!" Rainbow Dash said out loud, then flew at me, toppling me to the ground. With her face in front of my face, she asked, "are you a spy?"
"Hah!" I said. "You said that to Twilight in the first episode, after the Summer Sun Celebration where Nightmare Moon introduced herself."
"Aaagh!" Rainbow Dash said. "She knows too much..."
I roll my eyes. "Why don't you show me around Ponyville?"
* * *
As expected, there were a lot of whispers and stares coming from ponies. One even walked up to me, excited for whatever reason. Her coat was a mint color, and her mane and tail were white and a shade darker then her mane. I'm not big into fan-stuff, but from what I can remember, her name is Lyra.
"The name's Lyra Heartstrings!" she says eagerly. "Are you, by any chance, a human?"
"100% Homo-Sapien."
"What does that mean?" She asks.
"It's a fancy word for human-it's the full species name or something like that."
"Oooh!" She gasps. "Do you think you can come over to my house? Nopony ever believes me when I talk about humans, but now I have living evidence! Do you think you could tell me about human life and culture and food and EVERYTHING?"
"Okay," I say good naturedly, even though she personally freaks me out. "Oh.. wait... Where is your house?"
She tells me where her house is and how to get there.
"All right. What time?"
She says 6:00 EST. No, not Eastern Standard Time. Apparently the time zone here is Equestrian Standard Time... what a laugh.
I take my time to look around. Ponyville is definitely not what it is portrayed as in the show; as there are various mansions and quite a few fancy ponies strutting around with their heads high up.
Pinkie Pie decides do give me a grand tour of Ponyville, our first (and only) stop being Sugarcube corner. It turns out that it actually is made of candy. We gobbled up so much in so little time that when we realized we had eaten a hole through the wall, Mr. and Mrs. Cake were already screaming nasty things at us.
Fortunately for us, Twilight fixed the whole mess with a repairing spell and also, thank Celestia, a forgetting spell.
I asked what the time was. According to Twilight it's 3:00 in the afternoon. We spend the rest of our time at the library, trying to find a way to get me back.
I have something else on my mind, however.
"Uh..." I start. "I know you guys are herbivores, but just asking... Do you have meat here?"
Fluttershy shrank back into her chair.
"I guess not," I say, shrugging.
"Actually, we do!" Rainbow Dash said.
"And how do you know that?" Rarity asks. Her eyes widen in shock. "Have you ever bought meat?!"
"First of all, yes, I have tried meat. It's actually really good!" All of the other ponies' mouths hang open. "And second of all, I know that they sell it here because of Gilda. Griffins eat meat, remember? They sell it at the 'Interspecies Store.'"
"I'll be sure to go there!" I say.
* * *
It's time to go to Lyra's house. When I arrive, I start to knock on the door, but an eager Lyra opens it for me, grinning madly.
"Hellloooo!" she giggles.
"Um, hi...?" I ask. I'm starting to think this isn't such a great idea.
"Say hello to my roomate..."
"Bon Bon, I know," I finish for her. "I'll explain how I know..."
"Okay! Come inside. Have some tea!" Lyra is beginning to get creepy. She's still smiling like a lunatic and barely blinking.
"Ummm... okay..."
I take the time to study Lyra and Bon Bon's house. It's rather small, with low ceilings - but then again, I'm about 2 feet taller than most ponies, as mentioned before - and only 4 rooms, from what I can tell, a kitchen, a bathroom, and two bedrooms. I'm snapped back to reality when Lyra starts yapping again.
"Bon Bon! Come heeeere!" Lyra yells in a sing-song voice. "I have something very special to show you!"
"I am not a thing," I think angrily.
"In a minute!" Bon Bon yells back from her bedroom.
"Here, sit down!" Lyra uses her magic to levitate me onto her couch, but she puts me upside down.
"Sorry," she snickers, "I'm still getting the hang of my magic... I'm the opposite of Twilight. I was the worst of my class."
I roll my eyes as she levitates me again and this time puts me right-side up. Suddenly I hear footsteps-or, might I say hoofsteps-coming from Bon Bon's bedroom.
"Is this another human rant?" she asks as she walks down the hallway; she hasn't seen me yet.
"It's not a rant!" Lyra says, clearly offended. "This is cold, hard evidence!"
When Bon Bon comes in the kitchen, she asks, "okay, what is-"
But she doesn't finish her sentence, because she faints before she can say it..
"Yes, I can tell!" Says a shocked and frantic Lyra. She's not grinning like a lunatic anymore - and frankly, I'm glad; she was really freaking me out - and her eye is twitching.
"Call Nurse Redheart!" She squeaks finally after a moment of awkward silence.
"Okay!" I say, already out the door and running towards the Ponyville Hospital.
* * *
When I entered Ponyville Hospital, Nurse Redheart started freaking out. She looked exactly like she did in the show - light grapefruit colored hair, pale blue eyes, white fur, and a white nurse's hat with her Cutie Mark printed on it.
"What are you?! Stay away!" Nurse Redheart stood on the table like I was going to bite her. I rolled my eyes.
"Are you Nurse Redheart?" I asked.
"Y-yes!" She answered. "You can take all my money, just don't hurt me!"
Once again I rolled my eyes. "I'm not going to hurt you! Bon-Bon collapsed and Lyra sent me to get help.
"Okay," she said hesitantly. "Can you bring me there?"
I nodded. She followed me there, but Bon Bon had thankfully already woke up, her head propped on a pillow.
"Are you okay?" I asked. She nodded weakly.
"What happened?" Nurse Redheart asked. Me and Lyra explained what happened and she ran a few tests to make sure Bon Bon was okay. After about half an hour Nurse Redheart said that Bon Bon was okay, just extremely shocked. Who wouldn't after seeing a creature that you had been told didn't exist all your life?
"So, are you like, an automapony or something?" Bon Bon asked. I snickered.
"Automatons - oh, sorry, 'automaponies' are hopelessly outdated where I live!" I say.
"What is this automaton you speak of?" Bon Bon asked.
"That's what they call 'automaponies' on Earth." I explained.
"What's Earth?" Lyra asked eagerly. "You mean, like, the ground? So you live on the ground? That makes sense, because as far as I know humans can't fly..."
I cut her off. I had been with Lyra for less than an hour and I already knew that she got hopelessly excited when she started talking about humans.
"Earth is the planet we live on," I said, tired of having to explain everything. "And no, humans can not fly, you're correct. However, we have massive devices called planes that can 'fly,' in a way, and they transport us to far away places."
"How fascinating!" She exclaimed. "How do they work?"
"Actually... I don't know," I admitted. "They're very complicated. I know the basics, though."
I explained some things about planes, how they looked and a few things about them. It was all basic knowledge to me, but she was very excited.
"So, how do you use those hands?" She asked.
I wiggled my fingers and picked a few things up.
"Does it make writing easier?" She wondered. I shrugged.
"Well," I started, "it probably does because it takes effort to use magic, does it not? But for humans, it's pretty easy just to write and draw and stuff. I guess it also gives us much more precision."
"That's so awesome!" Lyra gushed. "Draw me something!"
I took a piece of paper and drew Lyra. I'm actually pretty used to drawing ponies, because like I said before, I'm a pegasister. Lyra was, by this time, bouncing up and down like Pinkie Pie.
"How can this day be better? I have met a human, which is my life long dream, she's drawing me, and she's showing me her awesome opposable thumbs! How awesomer can this day get?"
I chuckled. "You really think opposable thumbs are awesome?"
I wiggled my thumbs. Lyra looked at them in amazement and wonder. I rolled my eyes.
* * *
I was staying in Twilight's basement temporarily until I was able to get a job and get a house - which would be a long time from now. I was thinking maybe I could get some kind of job that I had an advantage in, like baking or playing an instrument or drawing. I would have a distinct advantage - hands!
I was thinking I could give baking a try. Besides, there were many recipes from Earth that, from what I knew, were non-existent in Equestria, like brownies. Maybe I could even introduce them to coffee! If Twilight could make a top hat, cane, and mustache appear from practically no where, than maybe she could grow a coffee tree.
Plus, Sugarcube Corner had a HELP WANTED sign on their window, so maybe I could try to get in.
I was having breakfast one day when Spike knocked on the basement door.
"You have a letter from Princess Celestia!" Spike exclaimed. I grabbed it out of his claws, thanked him, and started to read it.
Dear Alexis Creek (Twilight told me that was your name)
I'm shocked that you're here. I don't know how you got here, or sadly how you will get out. I genuinely didn't even know that humans weren't an old mare's tale before you arrived.I trust that you are not going to endanger any of the residents of Ponyville, but just note that you will be kept an eye on just in case you do prove to be dangerous.
Anyways, welcome to our fine country! Twilight tells me that somehow you know all about Equestria. How odd! Can you come to Canterlot? I'd like to meet you.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
"Hey, Twilight!" I say, thrusting the door open and running up the stairs. "I'm going to Canterlot!"
"If you're going, I'm going!" Twilight says. "Besides, I want to give you the grand tour of Canterlot! I grew up there, did you know that? I should show you the Royal Canterlot Library in the castle, the biggest library in all of Equestria!"
I nodded. "So, when should we leave?"
"Right now!" She said excitedly. "Pack your things!"
"I don't have any things," I said. "The only things I was brought to Equestria with were my clothes."
"Okay, then. I can just pack all my things with magic." Her horn started to glow and her suitcase glowed, magically filling itself with clothes.
"Let's go!" I exclaimed. I ran out the door to the train station, and Twilight trotted after me.
Walking down the streets of Canterlot with Twilight, I realize that there are much more people staring and pointing. I started seeing familiar faces though, like Hoity Toity and Prince Blueblood... I hate him so much after what he yelled at me...
"What is that hideous monkey doing on the streets of Canterlot? He might be dangerous!" The stupid prince had said in the middle of the street, embarrassing me a lot but mostly just making me mad. I could see the hate in Twilight's eyes, too.
"Excuse me, but I have a name and first of all, I am a 'she' not a 'he.' But of course you wouldn't know that since you barely have two brain cells!" I yelled back. That made him silent.
"You can talk?!" Prince Blueblood suddenly yelped, surprised. "And not only that, but you're smart!"
"Yes, I can talk," I said, fairly annoyed. "And obviously I'm smart, get over it."
"Oh-okay.." Prince Blueblood said quietly while running - sorry, galloping - away in a hurry, looking as if he'd seen a ghost - or a human. Twilight smirked at me, witnessing everything that happened. Of course I didn't mean to scare him like that, but frankly he deserved it and I am not regretting anything.
"You really taught him a lesson," Twilight said. Her face turns hard and she says, "he was always a jerk, even when he was little. Heck, it was worse when he was little. I remember him a long time ago, since I practically spent everyday at the castle, where he lived. He was horrible! He teased me and made up rumors about how I got into the Princess's school by luck. At that time, I did not have very powerful magic. I could barely levitate a book, in fact! My internal magic had to be unlocked and controlled and I did not know how to use it yet. What he did made me want to quit magic and never cast a spell again."
"I'm sorry, Twi." I said, sadly. "People at my school were always teasing me because I watched, you know, the show." My voice lowers to a whisper because Twilight and the other Elements of Harmony - and perhaps Celestia and Luna - are the only ones that know about the show, and the only ones that should know. If ponies knew that they were a made up cartoon...
Nevermind that thought. Anyways, we arrive at the castle. Up close, it's amazing and I can't help wonder how many years it took to build it. After all, there are very few machines or anything here and I know for a fact from watching the show only very powerful unicorns can lift up heavy objects like slabs of stone. Perhaps they just combined all their magic? I have no idea and I don't really want to know, anyways. We proceed to enter.
"Step back!" One of the royal gaurds says. Oh, yeah. I forgot about the whole you're-an-alien-people-will-view-you-as-a-threat thing.
"It's fine," Twilight says. "I'm coming here to see the princess."
She shows the letter from the princess to the gaurds. They nod in approval but still act suspicious and hold their spears up. Really? I think. What a warm welcome. They hold their spears up, ready to stab me.
We finally enter the castle, where Celestia is waiting. "Come here, my little po - err, pony and human."
I beam widely. She was about to say the line! Fan-girl attack!
"So, this is the 'human,' you were talking about?" Celestia asks, eying me with wonder, not suspicion like the Royal Gaurds.
"Yes!" Twilight says, also beaming widely.
"Um, excuse me, but I'm in the same room, you know, and I can hear you just fine!" I said, annoyed.
"You can talk?!" Celestia said, shocked.
"That's what the other guy said," I muttered. "Yes, I can talk! Get over it, everyone!"
"Every..one?" Celestia asks. "What do you mean by everyone? Don't you mean... oh, right. You probably don't have ponies from where you came from."
"Actually, we do!" I say. "But instead of the ponies being smart like you guys, they're um... they can't talk and they're animals... but we don't have pegasi or unicorns in my world. We only have regular ponies - what do you call them? Oh, yeah - earth ponies."
"So, are you a girl or boy?" Celestia asks. I roll my eyes.
"I'm a girl!" I say, offended. I'm even wearing a pink dress! How is it not obvious I am a girl?
"Oh, okay," Celestia says quickly, seeing she offended me. I blush slightly.
"It's okay," I say. "I don't see how you would know that anyway. Anyways, any more questions?"
"Twilight Sparkle says something about you knowing about the existence of ponies, even before you came here. What's that all about?"
I explain her about TV. "There's this thing called 'television' in my world. I know you have some kind of theaters, right? You probably do because once I saw a black and white movie projected onto a screen in Twilight's library. They're like that, but they're not projected and most people have them in their houses. You can watch many different things on TVs. There are shows where the people are filmed - which star real people - and there are cartoons, which are drawn. In my world... you are cartoons."
Celestia gasps. "That's not possible!"
"It is," I say sadly. "I am one of the people that watches the show. Actually, I'm pretty obsessed. There are a lot of people that call themselves 'bronies' that are men and male teenagers that watch the show. Then there are pegasisters that are women and female teenagers that watch the show..."
Celestia's eyes grow wide. "Who is the person that creates this show?"
"Well, the person that started it is called Lauren Faust."
"Does she have a drawn pony avatar thing?"
"Yes. She's a white alicorn with a red mane."
Celestia's eyes grow wide. "Give me a minute, please." With that, she teleports herself away.
A few minutes had passed since Celestia had randomly left, but I totally wasn't worried.
Not just because I'm not worried about that whole 'Lauren Faust is evil' thing. That's a totally different story, so I'm not going to get into that 'till later.
While Twilight, Luna (who had entered quietly, and revealed herself eavesdropping a few seconds after Celestia left) and Spike were freaking out, running around in circles, and screaming, I kept my cool. Kind of.
Okay, well, I admit I was mentally freaking out (just a tiny bit!) but really, the whole time I was thinking, I don't know them! Who are these crazy people?!
Really, though. It had only been, what? Two minutes? Maybe three? Oh no! It's been a minute - EVERYPONY, TAKE COVER! RUN!
These ponies really overreacted.
Remember when I had told you, I don't know, 10 seconds ago, how me keeping my cool wasn't just about me being not worried about Lauren Faust being evil and all that? I was lying. Get used to it; authors lie a lot.
In reality, I'm totally FREAKING OUT!!!!
What if she's evil? What if she's, like, I don't know, the mystical magical alicorn of, like, I don't know! Maybe, like, um, like, like, like... of dancing trees! Or, maybe, just trees. Or, maybe she's the Mystical Alicorn of Fluttershy? I mean, Fluttershy's a tree, so if Lauren Faust was the Mysical Alicorn of Tress, she'd also have to be the Mystical Alicorn of Fluttershy, and oh boy, I'm overreacting, aren't I?
A small part of my strange, derpy brain said, Nah. I'm totally not going insane!... right? ...
While the other part of my brain said, I'm going insane. This is Lesson Zero all over again. Please, someone! Or somepony, I don't think of humans as a superior race. I need a psychiatrist! Besides, Fluttershy isn't a tree!... right? ...
My mind started spinning, I guess from mental strain or whatever it's called. Sorry, I'm not into that health junk. It's not my kind of thing. If I had to get into that, I'd be forced to not eat junk food! Luna was wearing... pretty... socks. They were.... her... cu... cutie... cutie mark, right? No, they were socks.
Suddenly, I wasn't here anymore, which was downright creepy and quoted from Rainbow Dash getting into 'freakytown.' I was in the Everfree, near Zecora's hut. Stumbling towards it, I called out a small whisper of, "Zecora... I'm getting... sleepy..."
Everything started getting messed with. The colors were so much brighter and the trees were made of cotton candy. Zecora's hut, which appeared out of nowhere, was blood red and appearing to be made out of the timber of a timberwolf, were downright strange, and maybe even a bit scary. That's not really normal for Zecora's hut.
"Zecora!" I yelled. "Zecora!"
The ground gradually began getting softer, and the hard dirt that was practically frozen from the harsh weather of the Everfree turned into mud.
Looking below me, a blue ooze - quicksand, she recognized it as - was pulling me down... down... and then the world turned black, and I couldn't see anything.
For what seemed like months, I waited in complete darkness, occasionally calling some names, hoping they'd respond. Of course, I knew they wouldn't. I didn't even know the time - it could have been a few minutes, or a year. By now, my mind was a jumbled mess of BLAH.
"Twilight," I called softly, actually expecting an answer. "Twilight..."
No one could hear me, obviously, and by now I realized I was alone, and she would just have to bear with it. It was a stinging, distant feeling of loneliness I had tried to part with for so long when I was on Earth.
I tried taking a walk to calm her nerves, not knowing where the hay I was. (Hey, I'm picking up on the local slang!) But I shrieked loudly - and annoyingly, I admit - when I saw what was in her path.
* * *
"Are you sure she's okay?" Spike asked hesitantly, his gaze falling upon the human that was sprawled upon the floor, occasionally muttering things in her sleep, such as "quicksand..."
She honestly didn't look too good. Her fingers were twitching, her eyes had bags under them, and her hair was all over the place, probably from the horrible job he and Luna had did, trying to transport her to the Royal Hospital. Unfortunately, the medics FREAKED out horribly when they had seen such a creature. Luna had tried to assure them, but when they saw her they assumed she had transformed into Nightmare Moon once again and she was the one that knocked her out.
Well, Spike didn't blame her. A baby dragon and a Princess that had tried to bring eternal night to Equestria weren't really the people he would trust if he was a pony.
Hopefully, Alexis would wake up. Luna wasn't really that great in healing magic, because although she was a quick learner, healing magic had only been developed much recently. In Luna's time, healing magic was overlooked and called "a waste of time" because it was so difficult. Few dared to try it, less succeeded. If you weren't a very experienced doctor, the patient you were treating might just get worse, and with the horrible, medieval medicines they used back then, if you had an injury, well, good luck!
Spike obviously didn't know magic or anything about being a doctor, so... as Zecora says, "you're doomed."
* * *
A manticore. Full size, claws bared, teeth ready to rip her apart. Now, I would love to say, "oh, I wasn't scared one bit! I walked up to that manticore just like Fluttershy, stuck my tongue out, and the manticore ran away in fear before I could even give it a taste of it's own medicine!"
Yeah, no.
I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to... That's when I was really surprised. I stared at the manticore with confusion on my face. What?!
The manticore's eyebrows were scrunched up in concern, wondering why the hay I was having a heart attack. And then it started SMILING.
That's right, I used the Royal Canterlock! I'm that confused!
"Alexis?" The manticore asked. WHAT?! MANTICORES TALK!? "Why are you so scared? This is all taking place in your imagination, no need to worry. It's all a dream, and in time, it will fade away."
"You're not a dream... are you?" I stared at the manticore uncertainly. Suddenly, I was feeling smart (for a change.) "You can't be a piece of my imagination. I mean, you're the one informing me this is my imagination, so if this was my imagination, it would be part of my mind, and I'd have to know that this was just a dream in the first place if you were."
The manticore laughed. Why, I'm not sure, but it was kind of, oh, I don't know, FREAKING ME OUT. "Oh, yes. You're a smart one, certainly. No, I'm not a part of your imagination. You'll learn who I am soon enough, but for now I take this manticore's form."
I raised my eyebrows, then started smiling. I tried to look like I wasn't scared. "I thought you weren't just an ordinary manticore. Besides, what manticores talk?"
The manticore smiled, but shortly after his face fell grim. "Okay, that's enough chit-chat. Now, let's talk about more pressing manners, like why exactly I'm invading your dreams."
I nodded. Then, a surprising thought struck me. "Wait a minute, I'm dreaming?!"
"Why, of course." The manticore started laughing. "Of course you're dreaming! How else would you be surrounded in darkness, fall through blue quicksand, and be surrounded by the Everfree forest, except with distorted coloring?"
I considered this, and felt rather stupid for not realizing it in the first place. Okay, really stupid.
"Well, anyways." The manticore continued, licking his paws, - disgusting! - "I came here to warn you."
"Warn me?!" I yelp.
"Yes..." The manticore says, sadly, and suddenly, two chairs appear out of nowhere. Except, one's small, about just perfect for me, and the other one is huge, and seems to be made of metal instead of the wood on the small chair.
"One for me, and one for you," he says. I nod, face drained of what little color there was left. As we sit down, he leans towards me. "Now, listen very carefully. What I have to say right now is a life or death matter. An old foe is coming back to Equestria - one older than even Discord himself - and he's seeking you."
I raised her eyebrows. I suddenly had found courage, and instead of being scared, I was just really annoyed and kinda confused with the whole situation.
"Wait, wait, wait, wait. Let me get this straight!" I said, my voice getting louder. "You're telling me that I have to deal with some kind of old, unknown evil!? That's not fair! And, besides, a bit cliche!"
The manticore dismissed my last comment about being cliche with a wave of his claw. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Anyways, would you like to fight off this evil and, oh, I don't know, save all of Equestria, - not to mention yourself - become a hero, and be known throughout Equestria for standing out?"
I rolled her eyes. This was just getting even more annoying! What if I didn't want to do this? "No offense Mr. Annoying Manticore, but I think I stand out perfectly fine already. And besides, what if I don't want to do all this saving the world thing? I mean, I would want to save Equestria, but do I HAVE to?"
The manticore just looked at me angrily with a glare that simply said, stop being snarky and go along with it, please. "Look, do you want to survive or not?!"
I sighed. I hoped I would get out of this conversation without being annoyed to death, but it seems I was proven wrong. "Okay. Mr. Annoying Dude, what do I have to do to slay this weird guy who wants to kill me? I don't know who he is, what he looks like, or any clue to where he'd be."
"Oh, you know who he or she is, trust me!" The manticore said, laughing loudly - and suspiciously, might I add. "I'll give you a few hints to who it is: it isn't me, I swear it. The only reason I'm not helping you out more is because I'm not allowed to. It's like a game, and you have to find out who it is. Anyways, it's taking the form of a pony's body by corrupting one of the ponies in Ponyville. There are a few people you can trust, like Celestia and Luna, because they have too much magical ability to be corrupted. Same with the Elements, 'cause even if it tried, it couldn't. Friendship would immediately - hmm, how would I put this? Ah! - eject his spirit."
"Wait a minute!" I said, realizing something very important. "You said that friendship would overpower it, so why can't the Elements of Harmony just, oh, I don't know, USE THE POWER OF RAINBOWS TO TURN HIM INTO STONE OR SEND IT TO THE MOON OR WHATEVER?!"
"They could," the manticore agreed, "but he wants this game to be as fun as possible, so therefore he's not allowing them to use Harmony."
"That's not fair!" I started to rant. "What makes him think that the Elements won't come over there and use their freaky magic on him before he can wreck Equestria? 'Cuz they will, I'll make sure of that!"
"Because, even though you may work together with the Elements on trying to figure out who it is," the manticore continued with a sad tone of voice, "it's taking away their natural Internal Magic so they can't do a thing. The Elements will still be within them, but it's more like he's pausing their powers for until you've solved this riddle."
I rolled my eyes and started to at least TRY to rant again - which I'm good at, surprisingly, and do very often - but this time I was trying to persuade the manticore to at least TRY and change the rules. I mean, I know that he's not the person making it up, but maybe, since he's so important and all that, he could at least TRY!
"Look." I said. "Here's the deal. I'll -"
I stopped as, once again, I realized something important. My voice lowered to a tone only Fluttershy could replicate.
"Did you just say riddle?"
The manticore looked at me with sad eyes. "Look, I'm sorry. I know that this is a bit sudden, and you don't want to do this. I'm sorry. Anyways, yes, I said 'riddle.' The reason is, it's giving you a riddle that you'd have to solve to find out where he is. I can't say I've figured it out yet, and I've been trying to for literally centuries. And even worse, he's making you immortal until you've figured it out. Which is to say, you can spend eternity with Equestria in ashes and still not figure it out. And you'll still be alive."
This is going to be a loooooooong eternity.
The manticore looked left and right, as if seeing something I wasn't. His expression turned mutual again and he waved his paw.
"I'm sending you out know. Good-bye, and good luck. However, this isn't going to be the last time I shall consult you in your dreams, so see you until then."
As I was literally fading away in a shower of mist, I had one last thing on my mind.
"What was the riddle?" I asked. "Aren't you, oh, I don't know, going to tell me it?"
The manticore laughed sadly and said, "you'll know it soon enough, trust me."
"What?!" I yelled, almost entirely gone. My vision was already fuzzy and constantly switching between Luna's bedchambers - which was probably where my body was right now - and the manticore.
He said something, but I didn't quite catch it. In a flash of bright light, I was in Luna's bedchambers again with Spike next to me and Luna pacing back and forth in front of me. I was grateful immediately. I almost thought for a second I'd be stuck in there forever. That place was so depressing and... the only way to describe it is cold, like a prison. Not literally cold, just... horrible and something that will seriously never get out of my mind.
I just stared at them for a second. It took them quite a while to realize I was awake, and when Luna did, she used the Royal Canterlock.
I smile, remembering the previous events. Everything will be okay, I repeat to myself. Everything will be okay… everything will be okay, no need to worry…
Okay, maybe I am still out of it. Maybe not. Either way, it’s not going to be okay. I’m going to have to deal with somepony – wow! I learn fast! – older and more powerful than Discord, that Celestia probably has never encountered, and I don’t know who he is.
Oh, yeah, and the curse.
Ever since the manticore told me about the horrible curse he’s put on me, time seems to be slow. I feel like I’m walking through molasses and, though I admit, it’s kind of cool, I feel absolutely terrible.
I’m thinking about all this when I hear a faint buzz – a teleportation spell, I remember – and I can’t help but turn around eagerly.
And it’s just who I expected, Celestia.
* * *
“So, let me get this straight,” I say, pounding my fist on the table, eye twitching. “It was all a hoax?”
“Yes,” Celestia says, a hint of fear in her voice. She’s probably scared of Lesson Zero happening all over again, especially because of it happening a few hours previously. “Somepony is trying to set us up. And… the reports of villages burning near Gryfinkya don’t help, either. I think they’re connected, but we don’t have much proof.”
My eyes widen. Something in my brain clicks, and suddenly I understand everything.
“What about Gryfinkya?” I asked, excited. Maybe this is the key! “What about the villages near the border?”
“They… they were burned.” Celestia said, confused. “What does that matter to you? It’s Gryfinkya’s business. Besides, ponies aren’t supposed to know this. We’re not releasing this to the public until the matter is cleared up. You’re lucky I trusted you to know this, Alexis. Anyways, we’re seeing them at court in a week.”
“Are there any… mountains, or caves, or good spots for hiding over there?” My brain was slowly connecting the dots, putting the pieces together. If towns are burning over there, he must be doing it on purpose, because I’ve seen an Equestrian map before. All the towns over there are far apart, so somepony must be actually trying to harm them. If he can use fire, he’s probably a dragon because other creatures don’t have such great fire resistance. Most, like ponies, don’t have any at all. If he’s a dragon, he must live in a cave or a mountain or some place dark, where he can hide and ponies don’t come often.
“There’s Mt. Gryjki, but it’s haunted, so they say. Ponies hear screams from that place, and it’s not somewhere you’d like to go.” Celestia frowned. “In fact, Gryjki means ‘fear’s ’ in Grifanic.”
I was about to say, ‘what a load of mumbo jumbo,’ when I realized that here, magic was real, and places could be haunted.
But another issue was on my mind, and I was scared to death about it. “Princess,” I started slowly, “I love Equestria, I do. But… you do realize, I have to come home. My parents are worried about me, probably, and by now police are most likely investigating. They must think I’m dead, or I was kidnapped, or I committed suicide, or something. People don’t just vanish into the air.”
“I understand,” Celestia said. “And, shortly after I saw you, I froze time on Earth.”
“Really?” I asked, surprised. “You can do that? I mean, you have power over the Earth?”
“Yes,” Celestia said, acting like it was nothing, as if she was saying, ‘oh, freezing time? Bah! That’s basic level magic! And Earth? What are you talking about? I have complete control of everything that ever happens!’ I realized, right then, that she was probably much more powerful than I thought she was. She raised the sun, and when Luna was gone, the moon and the stars, too.
“That’s all? Yes?” I asked.
“Well… yes.”
“I mean, isn’t Earth a totally different dimension and all that? How can your magic even get there?”
Celestia raised her eyebrow, and then started laughing. Meanwhile, I had no idea what she was doing. Finally, after she stopped laughing like a maniac, she wiped a tear of her eye and said, “they didn’t tell you, did they?”
“What?” I asked, more confused than ever – and that’s saying something, because even before that I was pretty confused. “Who’s they, and what didn’t they tell me?”
“The Elements,” Celestia said as if it was obvious. “The reason they were on Earth in the first place is because I had sent them to Earth. They wanted a vacation, and I was going to send them to Manehatten, but then my magic went all wonky and it sent them to Earth instead. That’s when I discovered Earth, but at the time I had no idea it was inhabited by humans. Heck, I didn't even know what a human was. I thought the world was filled with just, you know, ponies. For some reason, I wasn't able to send them back, but Twilight figured out a spell and they came back on their own."
"But why would your magic bring me?" I asked.
"I don't know," Celestia said. "Were you touching one of them?"
"No, but they were near me."
Now it's Celestia's turn to be confused. "That's strange, because my magic is refined. After millenia of practice, I don't see how it's possible to send the Elements to Earth in mistake or bring you coincidently also in mistake. Which means...."
"What?" I ask. Now that I think about it, it is weird that somepony's been messing with Celestia. I mean, she's Celestia, and anypony in their right mind wouldn't. Four words why: she raises the sun.
"It means..." she says annoyingly. Why does she have to build all of this suspension!? "It means that you didn't come here on accident. Somepony wanted you to come..."
Chapter Eight - Now with Crazy Commentary from Pinkie and Lyra, your favorite obsessors!
Okay, that wasn't really much of a shocker to me. I mean, I kind of could already figure it out. Context clues and all that. (Oh, come on. Just because I'm not in school now doesn't mean I was a second grade dropout.) And besides, this whole thing is just so cliche! Wow. I can't believe I just admitted that. I mean, what if I was in a fimfiction story? So, then, I'm all made up? Ahhh!
Sorry, straying farther and father from the actual topic. (But then again, if this is my story, can't I talk about whatever I want?) Shut up, brain. I'm going to pass out again if I keep on going like this! (Oh, but come on! This is so much fun! Besides, like I said before, this is my story, so I can do whatever I want, can't I?)
Getting crazier and crazier by the day. Agh. So, anyways, back to whatever useless comment I was saying before. I wasn't really so shocked. I mean, the truth was always there, in the back of my brain, nagging me, showing me the reality and what is actually happening. Keeping my sanity. I didn't want to give in, so I didn't admit it. (Well, you're admitting it now!) That's different, crazy part of my brain. (You know, stop calling me crazy. I mean, at least give me a name! Well, I do have a name, but I don't want to reveal it!) Is that you, Pinkie? (Back to the story!)
I try to find the right words, but they don't come. After a moment of silence, I finally just say, "I know."
Celestia raises her eyebrow. "You know?"
"Well, yes. I mean, I kind of did." What I said. "All those clues you gave? I mean, please! I'm not a little school-filly! Well, considering I still am in school, I guess I am. Or am I? I mean, I'm not a filly, I'm a human. Actually, I'm not a human, that's Alexis. I'm Pinkie. Hi! What's up? I like to throw parties! Ooh, is that a cupcake?" What Pinkie wanted to say but I shut my mouth in time for her to cease from saying it. (Hey, you know, I think that I'm saying more reasonable things than you are! I mean, really! Look, a cupcake!)
I snort. Really, Pinkie? What would you know about reasonable? Wait, a minute! I'm talking to Pinkie! Pinkie, how am I talking to you? Do you have some weird telepathic connection to me? Or is that just me, talking to myself? Or can you just break the fourth wall?
(I stole the TARDIS from that weird pony, that Doctor guy, and traveled to the future, where people are telepathic! Then, while you were sleeping, I did brain surgery on you and implanted a tiny chip in your brain - tiny, no scarring, they said! It was soooooo worth it! - and ka-zam! Here we are, using the Telepathic Brain Chip 200,000 years before it was invented!)
What?!
(Nothing!)
Oh, whatever. I'll just accept that it's Pinkie being Pinkie. Anyways, here I was, with a little voice at the back of my head, screaming for cupcakes and candy and glitter and all that girly junk.
(Hey! It's not junk!)
Oh, yeah, and she's sharing my brain. Why!?
(Hey, it's not so bad! Here, have a cupcake!)
Pinkie, how would you give a cupcake to me? We're not even in the same room!
(By eating it myself, silly! Then the brain waves transfer from my taste buds to that tiny chip that's in my brain, too, and send electromagnetic signals to your brain, too, which go to the part of your brain that control tastes! Or, at least, something like that. I'm not into that science junk that Twilight always is ranting about!)
Wow, Pinkie... mmm! By the way, how do you know all this?
(Ummm... back to the subject!)
"But, how?" Celestia inquired, not knowing about Pinkie being in my head 24/7. "I mean, I'm practically the wisest pony in Equestria, and... I didn't figure it out!"
Wow, these ponies are dense.
(Excuse me!?)
Except for you, Pinkie, except for you.
"Ummm..." I scanned my brain, thinking of an answer that wouldn't offend the Princess. I mean, I don't want to be sent to the moon! "Well, uh... I have a very... imaginative brain, and uh... I... think of lots of possibilities?"
"Oh!" Celestia nodded, taking in the half-lie. "You're still a filly, aren't you? You must have a wild imagination!"
"Well," I thought of it. "In human terms, I wouldn't be considered an adult. In pony terms, I probably would. I mean, I'm fourteen."
"And you still go to school?" Celestia asked, bewildered.
"Well, yeah. We don't really have magic or anything like you do, so we can't just magic-up everything."
"I never thought of it that way," Celestia pondered. "Life must be hard!"
I thought for a moment. "Well, I guess it is. Depends on which point of view you're using. I mean, you guys... can fly, and use magic, and even Earth Ponies can use Earth magic. But us humans, nah. We can't do anything incredibly special like you guys. But we have technology and hands to make life easier."
((That was beautiful! I wish I had hands! And feet! Actually, I wish I was a human! Humans are so humanly awesome! And besides, they're real! EEEE! Everyone thought I was crazy, but now I was proven right!))
Lyra, is that you!? And why didn't you say 'everypony?' you said 'everyone,' you do realize that, right?
((Yeah! I heard about the chip thing, so I implanted one in my head, too! So, now, me, Pinkie, and you have Telepathy Brain Chat or whatever it's called! Oh, yeah, and I was saying everyone because humans are just sooooo awesome! I want hands! And feet! And I wanna be bipedal! Waaaaa! Oooh, maybe I'll get plastic surgery!))
Lyra, get out of my head! And ponies having plastic surgery to have hands and feet? I'm shuddering already... eww. And you too, Pinkie, get out of my head!
(Aww, but we don't want to, silly-billy-filly-willy-nilly-gilly-shilly-milly....)
I get it! Oh my gosh, wow, I am becoming crazy! I apologize to whoever is reading this! Wait a minute, if I acknowledge that I am in a story, does that mean I can break the fourth wall?
Not really a chapter, an intersection, between parts where nothing really happens, so don't troll or flame or whatever 'cuz it's so short.
It's been six weeks already.
Six weeks of gathering information, meetings with that weird manticore dude, and getting help from the Mane 6. Which really stinks, saying that right now I could have been playing on my computer, my face glued to the screen, reading Brony stuff. But thats not going to happen, so I've learned to accept my boring-ish fate and live on life, trying to find that weird dragon or whatever he is dude and get the heck out of here!
Okay. I've changed. I know that before, going to Equestria was my biggest dream. 'Oh, Equestria! How I wish I'd be able to go there! It's, like, so totally awesome!'
Yeah, no. Not really. First of all, I'm much less bubbly and more stare-you-down-get-me-out-of-here-before-I-have-to-strangle-you. Which isn't exactly a good trait. Or a bad one, if I have to have a staring contest with Dragon Dude, which is what I'll call him right now. (Good name! How did you think of that?)
Oh, yeah, and I've forgotten the fact that I have Pinkie Pie in my brain.
((Hey! Are you forgetting me?!)) Fine, Lyra, I'll say it. Lyra too. Yay. Have you ever wondered what would happen if you ended up with a crazy, totally bubbly mare who likes to sing songs all day long plus a human-obsessed mare that has a REALLY REALLY REALLY creepy obsession in your brain all the time?!
I'm glad I haven't gone crazy, for Equestria's sake! The only thing worse would be if Rainbow Dash was in my head. (Ooh, good idea! Hey, Rainbow Dash!)
NO! Pinkie Pie, that's um, a great idea and all, but, um, no... thank you...
(Okie Dokie Lokie, Pokey Dokey Smokey!)
Another thing that's changed about me is that now I'm famous. Like, really famous. Like, really, really famous. As in Sapphire Shore famous. But mostly because I'm so weird, and mostly because everypony is now complaining to Celestia for letting 'a beast set foot in our precious land! Oh, how horrible, the thought.' Yeah, if only they knew what real beasts have come to live in Equestria. Like Dragon Dude.
((That meanie-pants! Hey, maybe I can get him to join the Humans are Awesome I WANT TO BE ONE OF THEM Fan Club!))
Uh... yeah, Lyra, I'm sure that he'll love to be in it.
(What's with the capital letters and that horrible meanie-weanie-beanie-leanie-shmeanie-color! And why'd you make it bold? Lyra, you're weird!)
Oh, oops! I forgot to mention Pinkie driving me TOTALLY INSANE with her fourth wall breaking powers. (Hey, you just did the same thing! Meanie! This chapter is already bad enough, 'cuz it's only, like, umm... oh, yeah, it's five hundred and fifty-four words! Actually, it's not really a chapter. It's more like an intersection, because I think you're going to make another part or something. Ooh, a sequel! You know, I love sequels. But, no, sadly, I don't think it's going to be a sequel, just another part. Darn. I really wanted a sequel.)
I didn't get most of that, but if this intersection is only five hundred words, that's a shame. ((Yeah, boo! The author of this story is SOOOO lazy!))
I can almost hear the dramatic music playing as I, Alexis Creek, awesomely am riding on a chariot to that Whats-It village that has the Whats-It-Named Mountain! (Really? I don't hear any music! Is it polka? I love polka! Ooh, and I also love cupcakes!) Don't say the c-word, Pinkie! (What, you mean cupcakes? Why not? A cupcake is a light and fluffy treat with icing! Ooh, I love icing, too!) Yes, but... remember? Cupcakes?! (Oh, you mean that video with me -)
That was me silencing Pinkie Pie by screaming in my head, for the last time, Pinkie, just don't say the c-word! You know what it's about, and besides, if this is a fanfiction, it's probably rated Everyone! Don't want to change it to Mature, do you?!
((Hey! You know, why does everyONE leave out me?)
Lyra, why do you keep saying everyone? It's everypony, isn't it? I mean, over here, in Equestria. Oh, no. Are you still obsessed with humans? Lyra, after I took away your whole collection of one hundred ninety-five books and diaries all revolving around humans. You just bought more, didn't you?
((Yup! Of course I did! You know, you can't change a mare's hopes, dreams and desires in life! Unless you're Applebloom. Then, you definitely can. Have I ever told you about that one time when the Crusaders blew up my house and my entire collection of one thousand, two hundred sixty-four point five six eight books about humans?))
Point five six eight? What?
(I can't explain it either. And I'm Pinkie Pie. I can understand about everything.)
Anyways. Right now, I'm awesome! Oh, gosh, I'm sounding exactly like Rainbow Dash. I'm sorry if I made you puke. Why would I speak like that?
(I don't know!) Pinkie Pie. You're right next to me on this chariot why can't you just talk?
(Because I'm making cupcakes! And every good baker knows that if you talk when you're doing cupcakes, The Doctor takes them and eats them with a banana! He likes bananas, you know. Oh, by the way, what's your favorite episode? I love that one with the weeping angels and the Blink thing! I feel sorry for Sally, though.. hehe! Sorry for Sally! Sorry, Sally, sorry, Sally, sorry... I could say this all day!)
My brain tuned out about a second after the started rambling, so all I caught was Blink and The Doctor. What? (I said, every good baker knows that pears are horrible!)
Again, what?
(I SAID, EVERY GOOD BAKER KNOWS THAT PEARS ARE HORRIBLE!)
AAAAAAHH! Pinkie Pie, you don't have to yell! Oh my gosh, I'm going to have a headache for the rest of this trip. Thank you, Pinkie Pie. You always just make my day. Anyway, where were we? Okay, we're landing. I can tell, because so far I've been on a ton of chariots, and when they try to land they spread out there wings and use them like parachutes. If they landed the normal way, I would be screaming right now. Well, I was screaming a minute ago.
"Yup, you sure were, Silly Billy!" I hear a hyper voice say right next to me. The chariot started to shake and a second later, Pinkie's face was squished to mine and her eyes were right above mine. I almost fell out of my chariot from all the shaking, which was caused by Pinkie's jumping, but Pinkie nudged me back to where I was before I had the chance to fall.
"Thank you," I mumbled, but I didn't have to. Obviously. Because I thanked her in my mind. Well, not really, I was just thinking it at the time. Wow. I am never getting used to this, seriously.
But Pinkie heard me anyway, and in about a nanosecond her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree and she choked... I mean, hugged me.
Wow. Here I am, in Equestria... in Equestria... IN EQUESTRIA! Oh my gosh... I never really appreciated this before but OH MY GOSH I'M IN EQUESTRIA! DANCE, PONIES, DANCE!
((What?!))
Oh, gosh... Lyra heard that?
(I heard it, too! Why do you want ponies to dance?)
Umm... I didn't literally mean I wanted you to dance. (Really? Because I like to dance!) Wow. Really? ((I like to dance, too! I invented this epic move where I stand on my forelegs! It's called The Human!))
Shut up, Lyra.
((Do the Human, yeah, yeah, do the Human!))
I told you to shut up, Lyra. Did you not hear me? I am sick of you and your humans. First time we met was nice, you know, nice chat, not really obsessed, but now you are just plain annoying! Maybe even more annoying than Pinkie Pie!
((......really? WAAAAAAAA!))
Umm... there, there, Lyra-Wyra... I, um... didn't mean it? Okay, yes I did.
You know, I keep straying off topic. Everypony, just shut your mouths or stick a hoof in it or whatever you ponies say around here. We're landing on that Whats-It-Called Mountain that I will henceforth call The Awesome Mountain of Epic Dragon Awesomeness.
(Wow. Catchy.)
The Awesome Mountain of Epic Dragon Awesomeness is up ahead, and I should say it's amazing. It's about as tall as the Empire State Building and it's peak is straight. Like, exactly STRAIGHT. Which is super creepy. Just saying...
The peak is covered in snow, so it's lucky I brought a coat. Well, more like grateful that Rarity made one for me last moment. And she even stuffed it with feathers, which I'm sure was mentally scarring for her. So, now, I have a comfy coat that's probably going to last a long time (not to mention isn't girly, which I have tried to tell her to avoid for the last month or so because I hate girly clothes. Before that, every single piece of clothing she made for me was sticky with glue from all the jewels, gemstones, fake multi-colored feathers, sparkles, and excessive beads. Just saying.)
We can't land on the peak, of course, because like I said before, the peak is literally STRAIGHT up. No wonder Dragon Dude chose The Awesome Mountain of Epic Dragon Awesomeness. It certainly lives up to it's name. Not to mention, it's huge! I'm starting to not be certain if I want to do this or not, because if this whole thing is his home, how big is he?
"He's pretty big," Pinkie said, reading my thoughts. Her mane was starting to deflate, and I could tell what she was thinking. Not because of the telepathy (well, not exactly telepathy, I call it the Mind-Link thing), it was written across her face. We were both thinking the same thing. What if this wasn't such a good idea? Besides, we don't even have the Elements.
((But you have hands!))
I was about to tell her for the last time to shut up, but then I realized it.
I have hands!
I HAVE HANDS!
The one thing that ponies don't have alongside a human's brilliant mind. Hands. Delicate hands that can do all sorts of things. And I'm sure there will be some way to use them. He's trying to test me, to see how smart I really am... that's what the manticore said in our latest meeting. But that means, if this time is just a test, he's trying to focus on my strategy. Which means I have to change my strategy up a little. And why is he testing me? Is he hiding something from me, or is he worried?
There's no way to tell.
((Wow. I really gave you an inspirational spark? Yayz for me! I was just reminding you that humans are awesome, but I guess your explanation is much better, so... I'll go with that! Okay, yeah! No need to thank me, I'm just Lyra Heartstrings... bein' awesome...))
This is so much more complicated than I originally thought. But there's one extremely big, gaping hole, that Dragon Dude forgot about. When he made me immortal, well, that means I can't die for now, until the Link is closed (which is when Dragon Dude dies. But I'm not planning to kill him, not for the sake of being immortal all my life, just because I don't want to. It seems wrong, killing people, even if they want to kill me.) Which means, I'm more likely to win in a fight than he is because he isn't immortal. He just has an extremely long life and is a bit tough to kill. Which all I can say to that is, he's a dragon.
But... maybe he doesn't want to fight. If this Dragon Dude says he's as clever as he's always babbling about, no offense to the manticore, that means that he's not planning to fight. He's planning to see how smart I am. It's like a game... and I WILL win.
This story is beginning to be a really random mess of a ton of events that don't make sense and are happening all at once. Just a warning. Also, I think there are a few spelling mistakes in this one. I really need an editor, because although I'm pretty good with grammar and spelling, I'm not perfect and I'm much too lazy to check my work.
Pinkie Pie is great for a number of reasons.
First of all, fourth wall. This might seem like a useless talent. "What's that for? Bah, that's stupid. What are you going to do, huh? Read me a fanfiction 'till I die?"
It's much more complicated than that. I was shocked when I realized how much power that mare actually had. I mean, seriously. She's not even a unicorn! She literally has almost as much raw power inside her than the Princesses themselves.
Breaking the fourth wall doesn't mean just having access to the internet.
She has access to everything.
The future, the past... every single thing that's going on, will ever go on, or is happening in a different planet, dimension, whatever. She's just like the Doctor, except maybe even 20% cooler.
Okay, back to my babbling. You may think it's useless, talking about Pinkie Pie - that one bubbly mare that never really seemed normal or fit in because she's too insane. But, she's not insane. Weird, maybe, but everything she says actually makes sense. She's about as smart as Twilight and as powerful as the Princesses.
Anyways, back to the thing I was talking about. (You do realize I can hear you, right? That you've just ignored and brushed of what Alexis has just said? Shame on you! You should really listen, you know.)
Yeah, yeah, Pinkie. Great for them. Anyways, for the last time, back to what I was saying. Man, I get sidetracked so often, I swear, if I didn't, this fanfiction would be a 200-word oneshot. You know, that's so annoying when people do that! Or ponies, if ponies write fanfictions. Do they write fanfictions? I mean, they have books... yeah, I guess they do. And if they don't, they should... oh my gosh.
Aaaaaand that was me, getting sidetracked.
Okay. I'm just going to set it in stone, not fool around, anything. Pinkie is the key. I thought it was me, but I seriously doubt it! I checked Twilight for a Magic Scan and it turned out to be zero. Absolutely nothing - not even a speck or a glimpse of a tiny bit of magic. Not even a spark.
But Pinkie, on the other hand? Or hoof, must I say.
Okay, she's smart and powerful, but doesn't really get things. I'm the opposite. What I've figured out from a bunch of 'community meetings' with the Elements is that I'm the brain (well, kind of. At least, I'm smarter than them) and Pinkie's the, quote, 'epic ninja who likes baking cupcakes and using the icing as a sword, then defeating the other meanie-weanie ninjas with her epic cakes that are so epic! And then, they all eat the cakes together! But, it's too late, because all of the cake is already in my tummy-wummy and it's just so delicious!'
Yeah, if you din't notice already, that was a direct quote from Pinkie herself.
You know, I talk waaaaaay, waaaaaay too much. This must be such a boring story. I pity whoever is reading this. Okay, not really. But I KIND of do!
* * *
"If you're correct," Twilight said as slowly as she could stretch her words to be, "that means we have to start all over again. That all the things we've worked on for the past two months is worthless, now, because it's a whole change of plans."
The other Elements nodded. Pinkie opened her mouth and for once nopony stuck a hoof in it before she could even say a word. She didn't say anything for a moment, and it was like for once she was actually thinking. (Excuse me?! I agreed not to think while you were narrating so I didn't get in the way, but that is too much! Hold off the insults, please! Okie Dokie Lokie?)
Okie Dokie Lokie, Pinkie. Now, please, let me go on to what you were saying.
"But that might be a good thing. If Dragon Dude is older than Celestia, he's going to be anticipating our every move. Remember that first time we encountered him, two weeks ago? How he flicked us out with his tail before we could even get in the cave? That was a miserable failure. And, remember Discord? How clever he was and how he was such a smarty-warty meanie-weanie pants? He's about as old as Celestia. That means that we're dealing something worse than Discord here. We have to take this seriously!"
Right now, everypony was staring at Pinkie, dumbfounded, with their eyes wide and mouths wide open as if they were expecting something a bit less smart to come out of her mouth; but they were, like they always were, outsmarted by the one and only Pinkie Pie. Seriously, though, she is pretty random. Last week she was reciting A History of Pre-Celestial Government and Rule (20,000 B.R. through 1 B.R.)
The B.R. stands for Before Rule. That's before Celestia and Luna took over. There's also a weird patch of time called E.H., which stands for Elements Harmony. That's when the former Spirits of Harmony (and no, not the Princesses we know today) were ruling. Then there's what we're in now, which is D.R., which stands for During Rule. You can figure that one out, can't you?
"You're right!" Rainbow Dash said, her obnoxiously loud voice booming through the air; her wings flapping frantically and lifting her up into the air as she became more and more excited. "Look, I don't normally say this. I never say this. But right now, Pinkie is right. Yeah, that's right! She's absolutely, positively, Rainbow-Dash-approvedly correct in every way."
"That's not a word," Rarity stated with a snooty, ha-ha look on her face (as, even though the two were friends, there was still a rivalry between the two of them); and then her face softened and she said, "but otherwise, I agree with you. We have to think of something that this 'Dragon Dude'-" she said the name with a disgusted look on her face "-will never guess. Think of something absolutely, positively, Rarity-Approved original, that he won't expect."
"Besides," she continued, looking at the five other ponies (and the one human), "who is this Mr. Dragon Lord? I mean, what is he? Is he even a dragon? Is he, perhaps, a draconequus or some other kind of old species that only Twilight knows about?"
"Well," Twilight said, "I've been researching him, and I think he might be a dralagonite."
"Huh?" the other six said simotaneously.
Twilight rolled her eyes. "A dralagonite is a species similar to the draconaquus and the dragon. Except, much more deadly and they shoot poison darts out of their tails and they're telepathic and they grow up to be billions of years old."
Oh, I'm sorry. Did I disturb you? Well, sincere apologies. That was just me, screaming into my pillow like there's no tomorrow. So, good day!
"You know," Twilight said, "it may not be an adult..."
"What?" I asked, jumping out of my bed and landing on my feet. I started shaking her, my eye twitching. "You never told me that? Ever?"
"Um, no." She said. "I just figured it out, actually. If it lives for billions of years, then it would take a million or so years to simply grow up."
"How long has Discord been alive?" I asked. "I remember once the manticore dude told me, 'the key is twice of Chaos.' He likes to give me weird, nonsensical, freaky prophecies that nopony can understand like that."
"I don't know," Twilight admitted. "I never was really into monsters. I didn't even know about the Dracqoniqi race until we faced Discord, and even after that I didn't bother studying much on the subject. I never liked monsters of evil or stuff like that. Spells are more of my thing. And math. And astronomy. And physics. And science. And..."
"Okay, okay, I get it!" I said, ending her long list of Things Twilight Sparkle is Good At. "I know about your forty-seven degrees. That's great and all, but if you really wanted to name all of those things, it would take over an hour."
"Anyways, I think Celestia knows. Want to send her a scroll?"
"No," I said. "Let's go to Canterlot. There are other things I want to ask her."
* * *
I see him whenever I sleep. It's always same old him, licking his paws and sitting on an oversized chair that doesn't look so comfortable. Today he has a glint in his eyes and just for one teeny, itsy bitsy second, I see his eyes flash red.
"So," he said. "You've finally figured it out."
"Yes, yes I have," I said. "But one question: if he really is just a kid, then why is he such a problem? I'm starting to think that you're not telling me the whole truth."
"No." The manticore smiles. "There's another challenge you must face. This duel between you and the dragon that isn't a dragon is only the first one of many. You are clever, and I fear that you will win."
"Fear?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. "You're not the manticore, are you? Not anymore."
He laughed. By now his eyes were red, and staying that way. You know, he was sort of creeping me out. A lot. "You learn well."
His eyes turned black again, back to normal. "Don't listen to me! That's not me talking! He's trying to -"
His eyes, once again, turned red. But not the bright red as it was before, a darker shade. A blackish-red. The real manticore-who-wasn't-a-manticore was still fighting. I cheered for him in my mind.
"I underestimate him," the manticore-who-wasn't-a-manticore-but-now-wasn't-even-the-manticore-who-wasn't-the-manticore said. "He is strong. But I am certain that next time I will make no mistakes. I know that you aren't strong -"
"Hey!" I protested.
"- and therefore, you will be easy."
"Easy?" I asked. "Oh, nononononono. Erm, you don't want me!"
"And why not?" He asked. "You look delicious!"
"Delicious?" I raised my eyebrows. HE WANTS TO EAT ME! I thought. But even though I wanted to yell, I knew that if I kept calm nothing would happen. I mean, this is a dream. Really, maybe he can eat me in real life, but not in a dream. Right now I'm like a hologram - you can try to poke me for days and days but your finger will pass through my body. I'm not physically... wherever we are right now. "Really? Because, um, everyone who... um... tries to... eat me... says I'm very very dull and flavorless."
Whoever was using the manticore's body rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on. You could at least TRY to be original! How many times have I heard that in my life? Twenty? A hundred? And I swear, every single pony turns out to be delicious!"
"Yeah," I reasoned, "but ponies don't go on medication."
"What is this medication you speak of?"
"It's this really, really disgusting thing that helps you get better when you're sick. You have to eat it twice a day or something."
"You are sick?" He asked, slowly backing away.
"Yeah," I lied. Okay, I'm not actually sick - I just take allergy medicine.
"GET AWAY FROM ME!" He shrieked. I made a mental note: his body must be weak if he's too scared of getting sick. He's either old or young or something like that. Or maybe just sensitive. Oh well, this'll help figuring this thing out.
* * *
I wake up.
"Are you alright?" Twilight asks. "I mean, I was trying to wake you up. I tried everything, but you just wouldn't wake up! You were shivering and muttering things in your sleep, like 'red' and 'manticore.' You were having one of those dreams, right?"
I nodded. "This dragon guy isn't the only problem we have to face. There's another guy. He posessed the manticore or something. Or, maybe he is the manticore. How many times have I seen that in a movie? Well, it could be possible. Maybe it's the manticore's evil side!"
Twilight shook her head. "Alexis, you're sounding like Pinkie. Honestly, get a grip on reality! What do we know?"
"Well, he wanted to eat me. He said he'd eaten lots of ponies before. He was in my dreams, too, so he must have that power. How many times have ponies been murdered in their sleep?"
"Now that you mention it..." Twilight thought about it. "It started happening about thirty years ago. People started disappearing, every... month, two months. Still happens."
"Great," I said. "He was able to possess the manticore. Do you know a species that can do that?"
"I know about two-hundred," she grumbled, face-hoofing. "Do you know anything else that can narrow it down?"
"Well," I said, "I know that when he tried to eat me, I lied and said that I was sick. He started freaking out. His body must be weak. Does that help?"
Surprisingly, Twi said, "yes."
"Well, do you know the species yet?"
"Well, still, no. There are about twelve species that can do both. Anything else?"
I shook my head.
This is Really Strange, maybe even more than before
“Okay,” I said. I was freaked out already. How many times today had I been, oh, I don’t know...
Tried to be eaten? Have my dreams be corrupted? Recieve the shock of my life? Be very, very scared because the shock of my life turns out to be more shocking than I originally thought it would be? Gotten bad news? Heck, gotten annoyed to death by Lyra and Pinkie?
(Heya!)
((Hiya! Hmm, come to think about it, I have a question. It’s very, very important, for a change.))
Okay, then, Lyra. Are you absolutely sure?
((Yessiree!))
Fine, then. Get on with it.
((Do... humans...))
I don’t like the sound of this already.
(Give her time! This question is very important and puzzling. She asked me this and all I could do was stroke my imaginary beard and pretend I was super smart!)
Pinkie, you are super smart.
(Oh, right! Okay, so what I did is stroke my imaginary beard and be really super smart until I said, “I don’t know, Lyra, you’ve puzzled me!”)
Fine. Fine, go on with it. ((Do... humans... like.. humus?!))
I don’t. Other people do. You know what, why am I even answering your stupid questions? I’ve got two nuts in my head and they’re asking me whether humans like humus or not. And they’re ponies. And I wish I didn’t, honestly.
(AWWWW! You don’t really mean that, do you?)
Whatever. I bet the reader’s getting kind of tired of me and you and the... crazy person, talking about crazy things... so let’s go on with it.
The castle was getting nearer and nearer, and once again I admired it’s beauty. But I had one question on my mind that I had to ask Twilight. I didn’t want to get stabbed or anything with those gaurd-ponies’ pointy spears, ya’know? That’s what almost happened last time. I didn’t want to come close to them again.
"Okay," I said, approaching the castle. "Is she going to like, greet us or something? I mean, Celestia. Because last time the guards we trying to kill me..."
"Um," Twilight asked. "I'm actually not sure."
What actually did happen was someone screaming, "TWILY!" and Twilight getting tackled. And tickled. I was really confused until I recognized the stallion: white fur with a blue mane...
"Shining Armor!" I said a bit too loudly.
Shining stopped tickling Twilight to look up at me and say, "Oh, hi! What are you?" to receive a slap from Twilight.
"Shining, that's rude!" She muttered. Shining put his hooves up and rolled his eyes.
“Twily, I never knew you were my older sister,” he said. “But, yeah, I guess that was rude. Let’s start again. Oh, hi! Who are you and how do you know my name?”
“Should I tell him everything?” I looked at Twilight.
“Yes. After all, he’s my BBBFF!” Twilight said, hugging her ‘BBBFF.’
“Okay. So I’m a human. Twilight, Pinkie, blah blah blah and the other Mane 6 went on a vacation to Earth, which is my planet, disguised as humans, where for some reason there was this TV show - I’ll explain that to you later - called My Little Pony about the Mane 6, their friendship adventures, etc. There were a lot of other My Little Pony shows before that, but they were mostly for little kids. And the version I watched was, too, but a lot of grown-ups started watching it because it was awesome.”
Shining scratched his head with his hoof. “Okay. What’s a TV show? Is it, like, a musical?”
I winced. “Not really. Sort of. You have cartoons, right? And those really old-timey projector things?”
“Yes. And how dare you call them old-timey! They’re the latest technology from Canterlot Labs!”
“Well, first of all, human civilization is about a hundred years ahead of you so far. You haven’t even invented the car yet! But then again, you ponies are eco-friendly. I doubt you ever will. Or the airplane! You’re still using the train to get from place to place! Not to mention, it’s pink and it’s called the Friendship Express! Bahaha!”
By then, I was laughing. Hard. “Sorry. No offence. But it’s just funny that you say new. Anyways, it’s like a cartoon and a projector thingy. But the cartoon moves, it’s an animation. You know animations, right? I’m sure you have them.”
“Yes, we do,” Shining answered, dumbfounded. “But that’s so strange! How can we be on a TV show thing? I don’t believe you.”
“Quiz her,” Twilight said. “You’ve seen the Canterlot Wedding, haven’t you?”
“Yes, I have. Quiz me on what happened then. And I swear that Twilight hasn’t told me anything about it before.”
Shining nodded. I could see confusion in his eyes. He didn’t know what to believe. Was this a prank? No, couldn’t be. “Okay. What type of creature attacked us and what did they look like? And who was missing from the wedding?”
“Changelings attacked. The changelings themselves had horns and wings and were black. They could change into anything they wanted. They were kind of like mosquitos but had holes throughout their bodies. Queen Chrysalis herself, the queen of the changelings, was much bigger and was wearing something on her stomach. And Luna was missing from the wedding, except for the later part. I think it was because she was too busy guarding or something. But still. Why was she missing?”
“That’s for personal reasons,” Shining answered. “And... okay. I believe you. You can pass through, into the castle. Twilight, lead the way.”
She nodded, hugged her brother for one last time, and then started trotting towards the castle. The guards, recognizing Twilight (these were from her brother’s group; she briefly knew them. The other guards didn’t really know her, so they were suspicious) pulled back their spears so that we could pass. All I could think was, this is so cool this is so cool this is so cool eeeeeeeeeeeee!
… Sorry. That was my inner-fangirl reacting. But still! Any brony, pegasister, 3-year old, or whoever else watches this show show would react the same way. Even if they’ve been here for two months already. And if they’ve done it before. Anyways, so we slowly walk towards the palace. Well, Twilight did that, while I was busy getting lost in all of those complicated passageways and rooms and stuff. Seriously, that castle is big!
After attempting to levitate me back to the throne room four times, I finally arrived there. The princesses (Luna, Celestia, and Cadance, which was funny because I hadn’t ever seen her. I mean, not in my time here. I’d seen her in the show, obviously.)
“Hello,” Celestia said not-so-brightly. “It’s nice that you came. We were just having a meeting.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” I said, stepping back. Right now I was feeling an emotion that could only be described as ‘Fluttershy-ish.’ “Was I interrupting something?”
“No, no,” Celestia said. “We were actually just going to call you. I’m sorry if I seem kind of... angry. But right now we’re dealing with something very, very stressful.”
“What is it?” I asked. Celestia smiled.
“Now we’re talking. I’ll call the Elements of Harmony, too.” Turning around, Celestia pointed to one of the gaurdponies. “Send a chariot and bring the other Elements of Harmony. You know where they live.”
The guard saluted. “Now,” Celestia said, clearing her throat. “We’re dealing with something that nopony has ever dealt with before. Well, actually, that’s only half true. It’s a test, Twilight, for you.”
Twilight started to freak out. “But I don’t have my flash cards! Oh, gosh, where are my books! I’m sorry, Princess, I haven’t studied! Please postpone it! I mean, seriously, I love reading and studying and all that but it’s just that last week I was having a picnic with the girls and the day after that I was with Spike..”
Celestia laughed. “It’s not that kind of a test, Twilight. But this is the biggest thing you’ve ever faced in your lifetime. Alexis, I hope you can help.”
“So what kind of a test is it then?” I asked.
“You’ll have to save an empire,” she said. “The empire of crystal ponies.”
“Wait a minute!” I said. “But-but-but I saw this episode! I mean, not the whole episode, but they released a preview of it! This is the long awaited Season 3 episode! I even have memorized all your songs!”
A/N: I sent this to you, Gummy, you didn't reply?? So I'm just posting it. And maybe I'll change it if you end up replying :P Also, I think I should redo the first chapter, because that was sooo long ago and I stunk at writing. Maybe I'll just tweak it a little bit so it won't be that bad. And also, yes, this is meant to be before the episode was out. And I won't really do more episode chapters because I don't really like it when I read stuff and I already know what's going to happen. It's usually really boring. I'm only doing this chapter because I'm planning on it to be really, really interesting. Look out for plot twists!
Incoming eye twitch. They think I'm joking. They think there's no way possible, at all, that this is happening. And right on cue, Celestia, her Royal Majesty of Whatever, laughs. It's not possible, of course, even in a world of demons and monsters and magic and flying ponies that shouldn't be able to fly because there's seriously way too big and unicorns. Seriously, did I mention unicorns?
"No, there's no way," she says. "No, no. You're joking, surely."
I don't like showing disrespect to the princess, in fear that she can use her magic-y powers to banish me from Equestria forever with a flick of her hoof. But in that moment, I forget about respect to the princess. I just stare at her like she's an idiot and say, "do I look like I'm joking? I can sing all the incoming songs, if you want. And Pinkie, well, she's going to pretend to be a spy or something and you're going to try to-"
"Shh!" Pinkie Pie says, coming out of nowhere. "Spoilers."
"You sound exactly like River Song," I mutter. "From Doctor Who. You know, speaking of Doctor Who, is there a Doctor Whooves in this place? 'Cuz, like, everyone, in my world, they're doing fanfictions and all of that junk about Doctor Whooves. And... I'm getting off topic."
"Yes, you are," Celestia says. "Let's get on topic, please. And Pinkie, how did you... what did you..."
"Don't try to understand it," Twilight whispers, leaning over to Celestia's ear so Pinkie can't hear it. "It's just Pinkie. I've tried to, once, and you know how that came out. It was a disaster. Let's just say we needed a fire extinguisher..."
"Okay," I say. "So, what's the deal? What exactly do you want us to do? 'Cuz, you know, what I watched wasn't the whole episode; there was just a teaser with two songs, the 'Failure Success Song' and the 'Crystal Fair' song or whatever it is. And there's a little clip, too, but it's only about two minutes long. I bet Season 3 will be out by now." I smile at the thought. "Or maybe not, because we're just experiencing it now."
"Well," Celestia says. "The Crystal Ponies are a long lost empire. They were very well-known once. And then, this horrible, horrible pony came along... his name was King Sombra."
"Oh, I remember, from the teaser," I say.
"Don't spoil anything for us, please. Although it would be nice to know the future, we must shape it ourselves."
"Sorry," I say, hanging my head. It actually was pretty stupid to spoil things for them. That's it; I won't spoil anything else unless they already know about it. Brony's honor.
"That's alright. Now; the reason no one knows about the Crystal Empire is that it was lost. A whole empire was literally lost for a thousand years. It was horrible. For a while, Luna and I searched for the Crystal Ponies; but with no luck and Luna transforming into Nightmare Moon shortly after, I was forced to quit the search. But I knew it wouldn't stay lost forever. King Sombra and the Crystal Empire came back recently. He tried to take it over, and he's winning. Cadence's magic won't last forever, and it is the only thing keeping King Sombra from attacking the Crystal Ponies once again. Your mission, my little ponies, is to save the Crystal Empire, and most importantly, Cadence. She's almost dying from exhaustion. Please, help. I am certain that you will pass. And, Twilight, if you succeed - no, when you succeed - you will be able to study the final and most powerful type of magic."
I was in shock. This was actually happening. And from the look on Twilight's face, she was in shock too.
"Ohmygosh! The final level of magic? That's like, only restricted to you and Luna and Cadence and BBBFF but that's only because he's in the royal gaurd and he only gets to study, like one spell from it and oh my gosh you know what I'm going to say when I come to to him I'm going to say hahahahahahahahahahahahaha because I'm studying the final level of magic and you're not and what am I doing?!"
"You're babbling," I mutter. "Are you done yet? And are you really going to go 'hahahaha' to your BBBFF? And besides, aren't you a bit, um, excited?" In my head, I was imaging the 'yes' incident all over again.
Twilight blushes, very visibly, and that's saying something because she has a deep lavender coat. "Um, yes," she says, clearing her throat. She said it! She said it! She said, "um, yes." This is hilarious! Just like the "yes" incident, which I was just talking about.
She clears her throat. "Um, so Celestia, how do you know I won't fail? And what if I do fail?" She was starting to get panicky.
"You won't, I'm sure," Celestia said calmly. Her voice suddenly turned more serious. "The rest of the 'Mane Six' are on their way. You will leave as soon as possible. Goodbye, and good luck."
She ushered us out. Something was seriously, seriously wrong with her. I mean, not like mentally. She just seemed different. Her eyes had been soft, like Celestia's, but somehow I knew that was an illusion.
I turned to Twilight when the princess was gone and whispered, "did you notice anything wrong with Celestia?"
She cocked her head, eyes wide. "No. Not at all. Why?"
There it was again. Her eyes. They had changed. I didn't know how, but they had changed; they we're Twilight's eyes for sure, but it didn't seem like Twilight. It was hard to explain; her eyes had lost that eager, intelligent sparkle (haha, get it? Sparkle? Twilight Sparkle? No?) somehow. I was going to get to the bottom of this, I decide. There's something fishy going around here. Man, I sound like Scooby Doo. Whatever.
I heard a large boom. And then everything went silent.
Yeah, so... I don't even know what happened myself. Um, I think I'll rewind.
This all happened so suddenly. One moment I'm thinking about Twilight, and how she's acting all crazy. And Celestia, too! I thought I could trust whoever was behind this - okay, not trust. I'd be crazy if I thought I could trust someone/pony/draqonequus/Sombra/dragon/something evil, AKA whoever is doing this thing.
I mean, seriously. Whoever is doing this wants to harm me, not have a tea party. I can imagine it now:
*START OF FLASH FORWARD*
"Hello, person who wants to kill me," I say as I sip a cup of tea. Pinkie finger up, of course! "Oh my dear someone/pony/draqonequus/Sombra/dragon/something evil! This tea is simply marvelous. Where did you get it?"
"Why," whoever is doing this remarks. "This tea is one of a kind. I made it myself from petals of Heart's Desire."
"Oh, my!" I exclaim. "That must be why this tastes oddly like gummy bears. I suppose my life's desire is to win the national gummy bear eating championship!"
"Why, me too!"
*END OF FLASH-FORWARD*
Yeah... Um, definitely not. That's going to give me nightmares for the rest of, like, forever.
Where was I, again? Oh yes! I was talking about how Twilight Sparkle seemed... Different. It looked like Twilight Sparkle but she seemed different somehow, like she was doing things just for the sake of being like herself. Which does not make sense at all, but then again nothing does. So I'm just going to let that pass.
Celestia, I think, wasn't "possessed" like Twilight (if she was actually possessed; maybe Twilight was just way too traumatized or whatever to do anything, like when she reads a sad book and then starts crying for the next five days or so because "Mr. Toodles just wanted to find love!"). Instead, she was just acting... distant, strange, like she was in deep thought and had no time for us. She is, after all, royalty.
So, now flash to the future: ponies running around in circles, screaming their heads off. A typical panicking scene. But what are they panicking about?
It's obviously some weird pony thing that I've never heard about and is actually really, really strange and useless. Like 50 other useless pony things.
I would name them all, but I'd rather not waste this time.
Whoa, when did I get all serious-y? I better get a cup of coffee or something... Okay, back in a sec.
"Spike is so awesome" said Alexis "I liek Spike, he is best dragonn"
SPIKE!
Sorry, erm... That was Spike there, trying to convince you all that he is best dragon. Actually, Spike is the only dragon here. So I don't really know what you're trying to accomplish there, Spike.
He says he's sorry and that it won't happen again. It better not...! But then again, I do apologize for saying that there are many useless pony things that are strange and useless, or whatever I said. Yes, Spike, that was an "apology." Now SHOO!
So, I would ask someone what the heck was happening, but they were too busy screaming their heads off to actually pay attention to anything that I would say. Not to mention that half of them were screaming their heads off because of me. Twilight was off to who-knows-where, and besides, she wouldn't be the most reliable source to get information off of. We've already agreed there's something seriously wrong with Twilight today.
What I noticed, though, was that most of the ponies were running towards Canterlot Castle. Had something happened to the princess? I hoped not, but it could very well be true: for what other reason would so many ponies be so shaken up? Some were crying, some screaming, some running, some just sitting there as if they couldn't believe what was happened. What could cause such a reaction? What other than something happening to their dear princess, the most important pony in all of Equestria?
I knew that while I definitely had to check things out at Canterlot Castle, I also had to complete Celestia's mission. Maybe even alone, since whatever happened to Twilight is probably related to Sombra.
What if Twilight was possessed by King Sombra? Just a thought, but a very likely one. I mean, why would whoever possess her do it at that certain time? It could be a coincidence, but nothing was a coincidence here. It was either "magic," "fate," or simply "because that's the way things work."
And then I realized something, more important than any of this stuff. Why wasn't my brain telepathy with Pinkie working? Pinkie explained that while Lyra can turn hers on and off (I forced Pinkie to add this feature, since 24-hour-Lyra in my brain was too devastating), Pinkie couldn't. The only way she could be entirely quiet (unless, of course, she had taken it out) is if she was sleeping, unconscious as in a coma or something, or...
Dead.
I hoped not. I really did. Pinkie had turned to be pretty much my best friend, since she understood so much about me: not just breaking the fourth wall, but also since she was an absolute social butterfly. I mean, that mare could read your mind (even without the brain telepathy thing).
But so far whoever was doing this hadn't really harmed anybody, just sort of... Kept in the shadows, waiting for my move. So I don't really know anything about him. If I did, the Elements would be all over him by now, and that's not what he wants. He (assuming he is a guy, that is) doesn't want that. Which means he's probably not all that powerful, if he's scared of the Elements.
So maybe, if I catch whoever's behind this now, I'll actually have a shot...
But first, I'll have to figure out what everybody is freaking out about. And I'm not all that sure it's going to be good.
Preview: "Alright, So I'm Magical": Three-Parter that's Coming Up!
I snuck around for a little bit, slowly making my way to Canterlot Castle, where everypony else is heading. I wish I was Daring Do, or at least a pegasus, so I could just fly above this screaming, frantic crowd. But guess what? Of course I can't! Just my luck.
I had to go across many dark and mysterious alleyways, and no matter how cliche that sounds it actually was kind of dark and mysterious, in a way where someone could just magically appear out of nowhere.
And guess what?
Yes. You got it right. I said "someone could just magically appear out of nowhere," and guess who materializes right in front of me? ... No, not the TARDIS. I mean Twilight, or at least a mare that looks considerably like Twilight.
"Hello," I mutter. "Who are you?"
Just my luck. (Luck, I hate you!) When I get closer - as the figure had teleported quite a distance away from me - I see that the figure was wearing a long, purple cape, and a purple hat. And just because of my terrible, horrible luck, the figure lifts her hood off. And a hint to who it is: not Twilight. Not anybody I'd like to see, not anybody that can help, not even anybody that is at least nice and helpful and optimistic, like Applejack when it comes to advanced magic history.
But it's someone I know all too well. The figure lifts her hood off, a soft blue glow surrounding it. I see a mare with light blue fur, an even lighter, slightly curly Fluttershy-type mane, and light lavender eyes.
Trixie.
I'm looking her straight in the eye, but she can't see me. I look down. No way. That's not possible! Twilight scanned me before, because I wondered if I had magic; almost every species on Equestria did, anyway.
"Nope," she said. Her eyes suddenly grew wide. "No way. You literally have no magic, at all. Every single species I've ever encountered has magic, at least the tiniest mega-Spark. But you... You don't have a single drop. It's like your body is repelling outside forces, because if you live in Equestria, where all matter is magical in some way, you sort of soak it up. Ponies just more than most."
"That's cool," I said.
"No, it's not," Twilight said. "That's literally not possible. That goes against the most basic magical formulas. That goes against the entire works of Starswirl the Bearded."
If that's true, than Starswirl the Bearded was right. Because in this dark, mysterious alleyway, with the one and only "Great and Powerful" Trixie staring right at me... I've suddenly turned invisible.
I snuck around for a little bit, slowly making my way to Canterlot Castle, where everypony else is heading. I wish I was Daring Do, or at least a pegasus, so I could just fly above this screaming, frantic crowd. But guess what? Of course I can't! Just my luck.
I had to go across many dark and mysterious alleyways, and no matter how cliche that sounds it actually was kind of dark and mysterious, in a way where someone could just magically appear out of nowhere.
And guess what?
Yes. You got it right. I said "someone could just magically appear out of nowhere," and guess who materializes right in front of me? ... No, not the TARDIS. I mean Twilight, or at least a mare that looks considerably like Twilight.
"Hello," I mutter. "Who are you?" But whoever it is doesn't seem to hear me.
Just my luck. (Luck, I hate you!) When I get closer - as the figure had teleported quite a distance away from me - I see that the figure was wearing a long, purple cape, and a purple hat. And because of my terrible, horrible luck, the figure lifts her hood off. And a hint to who it is: not Twilight. Not anybody I'd like to see, not anybody that can help, not even anybody that is at least nice and helpful and optimistic, like Applejack when it comes to advanced magic history.
But it's someone I know all too well. The figure lifts her hood off, a soft blue glow surrounding it. I see a mare with light blue fur, an even lighter, slightly curly Fluttershy-type mane, and light lavender eyes.
Trixie.
I'm looking her straight in the eye, but she can't see me. I look down. No way. That's not possible! Twilight scanned me before, because I wondered if I had magic; almost every species on Equestria did, anyway.
"Nope," she said. Her eyes suddenly grew wide. "No way. You literally have no magic, at all. Every single species I've ever encountered has magic, at least the tiniest mega-Spark." At my confusion she explains that magic is measured in Sparks. "But you... You don't have a single drop. It's like your body is repelling outside forces, because if you live in Equestria, where all matter is magical in some way, you sort of soak it up. Ponies just more than most."
"That's cool," I said, not really sure what to respond to that. So, I'm not possible? I don't know if that's terrible, or hilarious.
"No, it's not," Twilight said. "That's literally not possible. That goes against the most basic magical formulas. That goes against the entire works of Starswirl the Bearded."
If that's true, than Starswirl the Bearded was right. Because in this dark, mysterious alleyway, with the one and only "Great and Powerful" Trixie staring right at me... I've suddenly turned invisible.
So what am I, some kind of super-human? I doubt it, really. I'm nothing special. Well, if you don't count the fact that I pretty much go against every single law of magic there is. But then again, magic doesn't need laws. Magic is just sort of… Magic. It can do whatever it wants.
But how am I doing this, anyway? It's not like I know how to turn invisible. It just sort of happened. A mistake, I'd call it, even; though an extremely lucky one. Who knows what Trixie is capable of now? She could be some kind of evil, dark lady or something like that. Don't laugh, it's true. We haven't seen her in a season! We don't know what she can do.
While I'm thinking about Trixie and wondering if she's changed since season one, somebody else just magically lands from the sky (okay, not the sky. He teleports, but "magically lands from the sky" sounds way better) and poof.
Trixie takes a step back, and she starts to look scared. "Hello, Shade," she says.
He sort of hisses and doesn't say anything. I can't see what he looks like, since his back is turned. After a series of hisses and raised eyebrows from Trixie, he clears his throat and says: "I am glad you are here, Moon."
'Moon,' or in other words Trixie, takes another step back. "Me, too. I have done what you have asked. Can I go now?"
"No, Moon!" He growls. For whatever reason he's sort of… Smokey… Shade… Sombra… Oh, come on! I hate luck!
Sombra turns around, and I get a better look at him: a black pony, with some kind of purple gas surrounding him, a matching red horn and cape (that didn't work at all), green and red eyes, fangs, and heavy armor… Eww. So much for "children's cartoon." Not that I ever thought of My Little Pony as a children's cartoon anyway.
"You have sent the Elements, then?" She asks. "For the trap? For revenge?" She seems more excited now.
Meanwhile, my brain is screaming, "No!" If the Elements are gone, trapped, anybody can just randomly destroy Equestria!
Wait. If anybody can just randomly destroy Equestria, why hasn't Sombra done so yet?
"Yes," he sighs, looking down. "But I cannot enter the Crystal Empire. The Love Princess's magic is holding up." Oh. That's why. He needs to get in, which means my mission was probably just to keep him out. Which I'll do, even without the help of Twilight.
I don't suppose the princess of love, otherwise known as Princess Cadence, will last very long. Alicorn magic doesn't last forever. And then I remember.
"Princess Cadence needs our help. Her magic will not last forever! I think that we can do this, but we have to work together. We have to get things right, yes we have to make them see: we can save the Crystal Ponies with their history."
I realize how much of an advantage I have now. I know lots about what's going to happen in the episode already. I remember the line, "We have a Crystal Fair to put together!" So it's pretty obvious that I'm going to have to put together a Crystal Fair, or whatever that is.
I slowly walk away, and I know what I have to do. I have to go to the Crystal Kingdom, wherever that is. But the problem is, everybody is freaking out. So how will I get there?
I grin. This is going to be the craziest thing ever. Thing is, how do you drive a train anyway? I can't even drive a car! I guess I'll have to ignore that fact.
The train station, which was usually full with ponies waiting eagerly for their relatives or friends to arrive, was now completely empty. It actually was kind of creepy.
I still had to keep quiet, because although the train station appeared deserted, I didn't know how many people couldn't be seen; just like me.
Speaking of invisibility, am I going to be this way forever? How long will this last? If you think about it, it's both a curse and a blessing: not to be seen, ignored forever... And that can go two ways. Thankfully though, I don't think anyone has noticed me. Yet. And I bet they will sooner or later, with all the ruckus I'm making.
"Okay," I say. Man, this loneliness thing is really getting into my head. Whatever. I listen intently, confirming that no - there isn't anyone there, spying on me instead of the opposite. "I don't hear anyone - that's good - but I should still be careful. Maybe there's someone inside the train that I can't hear..."
I press my ear to the closest train. Oh, no: this is going to be a lot harder than I expected, but still fairly easy (I was invisible. Invisible.) and at least still possible. Just very inconvenient for the ponies stuck inside the train... I was going to "borrow" a train no matter what it meant, and if that meant bringing a few grief-stricken ponies for a ride to the Crystal Empire, I would do it.
After all, this is for Equestria's sake.
"I can't believe the princess is...," one pony sobbed. Another pony put a hoof on her shoulder and told her it was alright. The pony finished the sentence: "Dead," followed by more tears and hugs from the other ponies.
What?
What?
Dead? No, that's impossible. How could the princess be dead? Isn't she, like, immortal? Luna spent 1,000 years on the moon, which contained no air, (almost) no gravity, no food, no anything, and right now she's on the Olympic Spider Toss team, doing just fine physically, not to mention the fact that she raises and lowers the moon everyday.
I don't really know what to say. I'm sad, of course. The princess just died. Everybody's sad. That explains all the riots and stuff, too, and the panicking: Equestria's princess is dead, so what will they do? But I'm honestly much more confused than sad. How did she just suddenly die, minutes after I last talked to her? I'm not really believing this story.
I sneak up to the conductor's quarters, pressing my ear to the door again. There isn't anyone inside, or if there is they're making as minimal noise as possible. I try opening the door to find it's locked. Darn. Did I come here for nothing? I never thought of the fact that maybe people - although they're in a state of chaos - would actually try to protect their stuff. Silly me. How was I going to get in now?
An idea sprung into my head, but I'm not sure it would work. I had never even tried doing it. But it was worth a shot. I reached into my pocket.... Please, I thought.
Finally I found what I was looking for: a paper clip.
Now I know you're saying, "So, you just happen to have a paper clip in your pocket in the exact moment you need one?" I live in Twilight's tree/library/house, and she has a ton of paper clips. Happy now for the explanation?
I tried to straighten the paper clip out, and after two minutes of trying to refrain myself from killing the paper clip, it was done.
I put the paper clip in the lock and messed around with it for a minute. I had never actually done this before (like I mentioned) so I really doubted it would work. But to my surprise, it did.
"Thank you, Twilight," I whispered. I looked around. Still no one here. Good. I quietly shut the door behind me and then looked around the conductor's room; there was a shovel, some coal, and the place where you shovel the coal to.
Yeah, I wasn't the most experienced person on driving old-style trains meant for ponies to use... But I would have to. I searched around the tiny room for a bit, seeing a manual: "Are you clueless and driving a train?"
That was convenient.
I read the manual for a little while, quickly skimming through the pages, trying to waste as little time as possible; every second counted, and every second Cadence was growing weaker with her magic.
After reading the guide, I went over what I had to do: basically, just shovel coal, and the rest was useless (how to alert other trains, how to manage your train, blah blah blah. It wasn't like there were going to be any other trains. This was a national emergency). So basically, reading the manual was a colossal waste of time.
I started shoveling coal. It was sort of harder than I thought. The train started moving, and I could hear the confused cries of many ponies: "Where are we going?"
Oh, yeah. Oops.
I opened the doors leading to the passenger crew, where people were crying and stuff (yes, I know, how insensitive of me. Well, they weren't the ones saving Equestria). "Um, hi," I said. "You're probably wondering why I sort of 'borrowed' this train. Um, don't worry. I'll give it back. But for now, we're going to the Crystal Empire."
I went into the conductor's quarters (or whatever they were called) and slammed the doors shut. I started laughing hysterically. They must be so confused! Whatever. I looked at the big pile of coal. Time to get working.
Now the passengers were screaming, "There's a ghost on the train! There's a ghost!"
Oh gosh... I forgot again - I was invisible. Oh, come on! This day was getting worse and worse...
I looked out the window. Crystal Empire, here I come. And maybe there I could get some kind of "cure" for my invisibility. If there was a cure.
It wasn't at all like Equestria, though I'm sure it might have been, a long time ago. Everybody was so sad here, but why? I asked one of them, and they couldn't remember - they said they didn't want to, that to remember was to experience the horrors of Sombra one more time - and the subject was closed.
They didn't like to talk about Sombra, I noticed. No matter what it was about. If you asked them, "Did you like Sombra?" they wouldn't answer. They would sort of start shaking and say, "I don't know. I don't know! Leave me alone." They would do this no matter what the question was, and if you mentioned the word Sombra - even in mistake - they would sort of scoot away from you.
And everyone was so dull. Not just mentally - which they were - but also physically. I had read a book on the Crystal Ponies, and it had illustrations. The Crystal Ponies, when they were all Crystal-y, looked amazing. All glowing and crystal-y (as mentioned before). But now they were really dull in color, like a part of them had been torn away.
The strangest part about them - which I noticed immediately - was that they could see me. And if you didn't know before, if you skipped all the chapters of this book and landed in this one, you wouldn't know what the heck I was talking about: therefore, let me explain. Through some magical phenomenon, I had somehow gained magic and turned myself invisible. Don't ask me why. I'm still trying to find out myself.
I asked them how they could see me, and they looked all Zecora-ish and said, "We Crystal Ponies can see beyond magic."
That was sort of creepy, but for the sake of being polite I didn't mention it and just smiled and nodded. "That's, um... Cool. Do you know where I can find a library? With lots of history books? Oh, yeah. Magic books would be helpful too, because to the rest of the world I'm sort of invisible."
A blue one with floppy grey hair pointed south with her hoof and droned, "Over there. The Crystal Library of Magic and History, and Magic History. It's the most famous library in town. I don't know how you couldn't see it. Don't you live here?"
Um, can't they see me? I'm a human. I think that possibly, maybe, by a slight chance, if there was a human living there - the only human in Equestria, at that - I think they might notice. Maybe.
"Thank you," I said, and dipped my head. I grinned. Time for the Crystal Library.
* * *
Twilight had taught me the basics of reading Equestrian writing - which was written in heiroglyphics or something - but I was still a bit rusty. I mean, I didn't grow up in Equestria (though Twilight had been eager to explain the entire history of Equestria, of which I had mostly slept through). I could read, though barely. These weren't children's books, like I was used to reading for practice. These were the kind of books Twilight read.
I went straight for the table of contents of a book I had just plucked from a shelf, entitled "Odd Magic," one which I wasn't really sure would help, but anything could help at this point. I cleared my throat and started reading.
"Table of Contents," I read for no particular reason at all. "One, page one - the magical field. No, I don't think that will help. Two, page thirty-seven - other worlds, a possibility that is very probable. I come from another world. I don't need anyone to tell me about my own planet. Three, page seventy-two - aha! Non-magical beings."
I quickly flipped to page seventy-two. I started reading slowly, trying to make sense of the bigger and more complicated words. "Non-magical beings, such as the human, which new evidence has proved to be real, may seem to have no magic but aren't. Any being who does not contain magic will rip the threads of time and space to mere pieces floating throughout space - this has been proven by science - and therefore, if non-magical beings existed outside their plane, or dimension, you would not be reading this book."
I looked at myself. My magical, invisible self. Were Crystal Ponies some kind of magical geniuses? They might as well be. This book was written over a thousand years ago, where apparently there was no Equestria yet. While Equestria was forming, this place was thriving! I continued reading, deeply interested. "If you have encountered a non-magical being, and have proved they were non-magical, you are wrong. Utterly wrong. Sometimes the effects of magic may be delayed, and often after that the non-magical being will experience strange encounters with magic, like a young unicorn foal or filly does."
So that was why I was invisible. I remembered the episode where Pinkie was babysitting the Cakes' twins, and Pumpkin was using magic all over the place! It was self-defense, my invisibility. I saw Trixie, a dangerous enemy, and tried to defend myself. It was simple! I closed the book and put it back on its shelf neatly.
Now to pick a book about history, and not just any history - the history of the Crystal Empire, possibly even how such an amazing civilization could fall into Sombra's tyrannical rule. Didn't Celestia harness the Elements' power when Nightmare Moon had tried to give Equestria eternal night?
I picked an abnormally heavy book entitled: "The Great and Powerful Crystal Empire, a novel by Trixie L." I didn't know why I chose it. I just did, out of instinct. And then I read the title.
What? What? Was this a joke? I opened the book. It said: "Hello to whoever is reading this. Or more specifically, Alexis, since none of the Crystal Ponies ever come here. 'It's cursed,' they say. But I know you're reading this, because I put it here and casted a spell specifically so you would come and find it."
No way. Why would Trixie try to contact me? And more importantly, since when did she live in the Crystal Empire? Well, I suppose since she was banished from Ponyville. "I know you think this is a trick, or that I'm writing to say, 'Haha, you lose." I paused for a moment. Wasn't it? "But it's not. This is more of an SOS. Sombra is using me, and I can't stop it. He's overpowering me. Help."
I didn't know whether I could trust Trixie or not, and I was confused.
She did seem so scared when I saw her with Sombra, but is that alone enough to convince myself to trust her? How much exactly did her magical skill improve since last time - where she was already better at magic than the average pony?
Not to mention that she's teamed up with Sombra. It doesn't really even matter if she's really a good pony, since Sombra could make her do anything, whether it's against her will or with her permission. I sigh and put down the book. I'll think about this ming-boggling issue later, but for now I have to try to find something magical enough to keep Sombra out of the magical boundaries surrounding the Crystal Empire.
I find another book, entitled "The Magical History of the Crystal Empire; Why Love Can Save Your Life!"
Well, that was handy. Because that's exactly what I needed to find. I clear my throat and slowly start reading, this book being even harder than the other two. Well, technically that last one was more of a letter, but same thing. "Love is a matter that is mistook for something much less powerful than it actually is. Love is an emotional energy that can be absorbed like magic, if enough is given. However, to turn love into power - yes, it is possible - you must use an amplifier. The most common amplifier seen in every day life is the Crystal Heart, shown every year at the Crystal Fair, which is meant to spread love and therefore protect the Empire from outside dangers and conceal it almost completely from the outside world."
I grin. "I guess I know how I'm going to save Equestria."
* * *
Princess Cadence looks terrible.
No, not terrible as in "her fashion sense is ghastly" which it isn't, but terrible as in sleep deprived, weak, and didn't take a break from anything in the past week.
"Hey, Princess," I say, kicking a rock. A Crystal rock, at that. I've been in the Crystal Empire long enough - about an hour - to know that everything here is made of Crystals, and if you don't like it too bad. The local folk are very protective of their Crystal stuff. And very proud of it, too. Most of the gift shops here really useless stuff like "Crystal Chocolate," which tastes terrible, "Crystal Breath Mints," which Winona needs to try, "Crystal Pebbles," which I am currently kicking, and the ever-so-useless "Crystal Replica of a Crystal Pen." It doesn't even work. But it's Crystal, so naturally it must be great!
The princess opened her eyes for a second and then closed them. She sighed. "Hello, Alexis. Nice to meet you at last. Shining has told me all about you..."
I smile. "I'm nothing special. Anyway, I need something. I won't ask you for it, since it's magical and I don't want you to lose your strength, but I just want to know if it's possible."
"I'm so tired," Cadence sighed. Fearing that meant a no, I looked down. I guess I could ask Shining Armor. It was a silly idea, anyway. Cadence is using every single ounce of her strength to do this, and I'm being so careless. "But I'll answer your question. What is it?"
I brightened up instantly. "I've been reading about magic," I explained, "and I was wondering if you could sort of compress magic and seal it up in a container, so that maybe I could use it for a teleport or something. Or basically any kind of magic I would need. Apparently I do have magic, but I have no idea how to use it. Well, I sort of do, but it's nothing to be relying on."
I had tried all day to become un-invisible, and after straining for a long time I was transparent, but at least visible. Cadence's eyes fluttered open in shock. "That's a genius idea! I can't believe I never tried that before. It will probably work. Probably. But there's no time to test the idea. You need to get that Crystal Heart. I have arranged for some of my friends to put up the Crystal Fair, but we can not wait any longer. Ask Shining to try to compress his magic and put it in some sort of container so that it can be used. But make him promise me not to use too much!"
There was sadness in Cadence's eyes. "I don't want him to overwork. He's already so tired. We're all tired, in fact, but him the most. He's been freaking out because of me - taking care of everything I need, and when I ask he never complains."
I nod. "Thanks, Cadence." With that, I leave.
* * *
Cadence was right: Shining was really stressed.
When I came into his "office" (which was actually just a tiny room in the local Crystal Inn he got for half price), papers were thrown everywhere; everything was a mess; he had his head in his hooves. "What am I going to do?" he muttered.
"Um, hi," I said. He quickly turned his head, eyes wide, pointing at me with his hoof. Guard's instinct, I guess. Then he relaxed.
"Oh, just you," he said. "Sorry. I've had the worst day. Actually, the worst month. In my entire life. What do you need?"
"I asked Cadence if it was possible to contain magic," I explained. "She said yes, and asked me to ask you if you could put some magic in a container. Not quite sure how that works, actually. But... She said to make you promise you wouldn't overstrain yourself, because you've been working so hard. Anyway, can you do it?"
He blinked, taking it all in. I did go a bit fast. What if he wasn't up to the job? "Sure," he said. "That seems simple enough. There isn't a spell to do it - it's just pure magic."
"I'll need something to put it in," Shining Armor said. "Do you have any sort of container? It doesn't have to be airtight - well, that would be ideal, but I doubt you have something that is - it can be anything. No matter what size. Magic isn't like air. It can fit into any container."
My hand goes to my neck. My locket. I hand it to him... His horn glows, but from the start I can see it: he isn't going to make it to the locket.
And then everything goes black.
I wake up, startled.
I've been having terrible dreams for the past few days - a side effect of being zapped with magic (which hurts, a lot). Having to hunt for Sombra doesn't help, either. Or the Crystal Heart.
But I have a good lead, and I'll try to find it. I will find it - the Crystal Fair is going to be finished today, and if I don't find it today, we're in trouble. And I think I know where it is - but first, I have a place I want to go, and a pony I want to meet.
Now that I have the magic locket (gosh, that sounds cliche) I have a teensy bit of defense, at least. And Shining did put a lot of magic in there - he said it would be good for three or four spells, depending how hard they were. So I'm on my way, and the faster the better.
* * *
The book left specific instructions: 21 Crystal Lane and 48 Crystal Drive. As you can tell, they're really creative with names here, and not at all slightly obsessed with crystals. It told me not to be too late or too early, and that I'd know when to come - I had no idea how or why, but that was what the book said.
And now I know I have to come.
I was at 21 Crystal Lane and 47 Crystal Drive when I saw some weird things. Like, extra weird, which was really hard to accomplish in an empire like this. It was completely empty, as if something was guarding against everybody else.
By 21 Crystal Lane and 48 Crystal Drive, I knew there was something up. Broken mirrors, black cats, and other signs of bad luck littered the floors (ultra creepy. I'm superstitious). There was a lone Crystal Pony, chanting "The Darkness, the Shadow has come!" Over and over again, as if trying to convince himself.
Other than that, everything was empty. It was eerily perfect, not a hair out of place. Except, in this perfect street, in this perfect place, in this not-so-perfect scenario, where was everybody?
I saw a mare wearing a purple cloak that covered her eyes - almost an exact match to that of Trixie's. I ran towards her, and she turned towards me. She slowly took her hood off to reveal...
Twilight?
No, it wasn't Twilight. It was Trixie, but for some reason she had dyed her hair and her fur. Well, tried to dye it. It didn't look very convincing; from far away, she had fooled me, but up close I could see some areas where the dye hadn't covered, and besides - her mane didn't look anything like Twilight's.
"Hello, Trixie," I said, not sure whether to be enthusiastic about the whole thing or wondering why the heck she's disguised as Twilight. "Um, why are you dressed up as Twilight?"
Trixie sighed. "It's the only way I can get around town without being laughed at and having tomatoes thrown at me. I'm even a failure in the City of Crystals. I need the cloak so that they don't actually realize I'm not, in fact, Twilight. You've read my book, I assume?"
"Yes," I said. "Let's go somewhere more comfortable, 'cause you've got a lot of explaining to do."
* * *
Trixie explained that she didn't want Sombra, at least once she realized he was evil, terrible, and just kind of wanted the destruction of Equestria and nothing more.
She had grown up with fairytales about Sombra the Great and Mighty, and wanted to be just like him. Ever since she was a foal she'd dreamed of the Great and Powerful Trixie, ruling the Crystal Kingdom with her best buddy, Sombra. He was an "old family friend," she explained. Well, sort of. Long, long ago one of her ancestors had helped Sombra, and now she had been "chosen" to help him.
I didn't really get the "you're chosen, therefore you must do all my evil bidding" thing, but like I did with the Crystal Ponies I just sort of nodded and smiled - or, in this case, frowned sympathetically.
"I didn't know any better," she explained. "When I grew old, I became a showpony. I didn't really care about Sombra anymore, and he hadn't visited in such long - well, I say 'visited,' but I mean in dreams, because if he came in his physical form everypony would freak out. And then he came back, when I was lonely and weak and thrown out. I agreed to help him. But now I know that that was the worst mistake in my life. I know where the Crystal Heart is, and I'll help you get it."
My eyes widened. Trixie? Help me? Crystal Heart? My mind slowly processed everything. "Well?" Trixie asked impatiently. "I haven't got all day." Well, I guess that sympathy couldn't last long. It is, after all, Trixie we're talking about.
"Yes," I said quietly. "I'll do it."
She led me into her house - for some reason, she lived here - which didn't look like much, just a dusty old place littered with magic books of all kinds (sort of like Twilight's tree library, except much less neat) and a few couches. Until her horn lit, and there was just suddenly... a hole in the ground.
Don't ask me how. When I asked Trixie, she replied: "Magic telepathy link, except unlike yours - I was the one to disable it, and for that I'm sorry - it only works if you already have established a connection."
I have no idea what that meant, but Trixie quickly explained what the heck she meant. "It means it only activates with my magic, like a lock. And it's telepathic, so you can just think it. It's very useful. Except the telepathy thing takes a minutes of screaming inside your head, 'Open the door! Open sesame!' so I just used magic. It's the same deal - it only works for me - except it's much easier. But the telepathic way is a lot more secret."
I understood her second explanation, and I slowly went down to the basement, wondering what was in it. And if I'd ever come out.
The first thing I noticed when the door closed behind me and Trixie was that it was dark. I could barely see a thing, but it seemed like there was a light somewhere in the distance - but it was a long way there. I wondered how far this tunnel went.
After for walking and walking for ages, we came across a door. An old (centuries, maybe even millennia-old), wooden door with a crystal handle (they should sell these in tourist shops).
I looked at Trixie, who nodded. I opened the door to find a small room - nothing fancy - with a lot of doors. A lot. I slowly approach one of the doors, drawn to them, until Trixie says quickly, "Don't go in! They show your worst fears. When I went in, it was the ponies of Ponyville, laughing at me. Try to resist it."
I step back and felt like I had just been un-hypnotized, which I was, in a way. "That was so strange," I mumbled. "Let's hope there isn't more of this hypnotism. Actually, is there? It would be useful to know."
Trixie looks down and said, "This is the farthest I've ever been. I was too afraid of what Sombra would do to me otherwise. I had to find the right pony - or, in this case, person - to help me."
"Well," I say, "if that's the case, we better be quick. Just remember: if you feel drawn to anything, or drawn to do something, don't comply. And look out for traps, too - we don't know how many are in here, and I'm sure Sombra would like to protect his castle."
"Actually," Trixie said bitterly, "he doesn't bother protecting his stuff that much. After all, there's no Crystal Pony insane enough to venture into his castle - this is, if you're wondering, the back entrance to his real castle, where he does all of his evil stuff. The other entrance is from the Crystal Castle, which nopony ever enters. Anyway, we can just teleport upstairs. I know the coordinates, memorized them even. I've been preparing this for so long."
Her horn lights up, and her magical aura surrounds us. We're here the next second, and now we're in some room, thrown to the walls. It's a small room - like the door room - and it's just any old room.
Other than the fact that it has the Crystal Heart in it.
I reach out to it, but Trixie snaps, "Don't just touch it! You said yourself a few minutes ago that this place must have tons of traps! Try levitating it. My magic doesn't work here, but you don't use a horn, so it wouldn't be able to identify the type you use, and it won't set off whatever alarm is in here."
I open my locket thing just the slightest bit - letting some of the magic sparkles or whatever (oh gosh, please don't judge, this sounds incredibly girly right now) get on my hand, then think like if I don't, I'm going to die... My hand lights up and I keep thinking, levitate... to... me! Levitate... to.... me!
I close my eyes. To my surprise only seconds later I feel something bump against my legs, hovering a foot off the ground. "Now I'll teleport to the castle," I said. "Or at least... Try to, because I've never actually done this before."
Trixie nods. "It's amazing how you can perform magic so easily for your first few tries. Even if you do have already loaded magic-to-go, it still takes a while to get the hang of it. Just think of what you want to do and nothing else. Keep thinking until your head hurts."
I followed her instructions. Teleportation, a significantly harder spell, took much longer than the levitation. After five minutes of doing what she said - thinking until my head hurt - I finally felt my hand light up weakly, and a couple of seconds later we were thrown roughly onto the Crystal floor. "Oh, gosh," Trixie groaned. "Weak teleportation. It's always the -"
We had started to walk outside, and I saw what she was talking about. There was a full-on Crystal Fair taking place, and there was a pedestal labeled "Crystal Heart" and below that a message: "I hope you find this. -Cadence".
Well, then. Today was a good day to save the world.
I put the Crystal Heart on the pedestal, and watched the ponies gathering around it. Then I heard a shout from Cadence: "The Crystal Heart's magic isn't enough! My magic is failing..."
My eyes widened as I saw Sombra - his smoke form - appear outside the Crystal City. He seemed to be struggling to get in - weakened by the Crystal Heart's love magic - but he could get in, nevertheless. So basically, we were doomed.
"No!" I screamed. And then I had an idea... "Cadence," I yelled. "Come here! I have some leftover magic. Maybe it might help."
I ran to Cadence and handed her the locket. I looked behind me and saw Sombra hurtling towards us... And Cadence was such a long way away! How would I do this? Would I even make it on time? I doubted it, even if I used a teleport (which would take five minutes). Besides, I couldn't waste the little amount of magical energy left that I had! This was the fate of a whole empire, in my hands. What would I do?
Hello viewers! If I have any, that is. I'm taking a break from writing - a week or two - but don't worry! Part three, "Getting Home" is starting, and it's basically about Alexis trying to get home. Will she? Or will she fail epicly? Don't ask me, I haven't planned anything yet! She also tries training her magic... Will she be an epic fail in THAT, too? I don't know! Have any suggestions? SUGGEST THEM!
Note that I'm STILL looking for an editor, but comments, likes, watches and favorites are great too! Please? For meeeeeeeeee? No? Fine. Also, how do you like the story so far? I want reviews, because no comments are driving me nuts!
I needed a day off–or possibly a week, or month–after all I'd been through. I don't know how the Elements do it! This "saving the world" thing is much harder than you'd think. Not to mention the fact that I'm not a three-foot-tall, multi-colored talking unicorn, which makes the job a lot harder.
Pretty much everything here is made for the use of ponies and ponies only. Well, it's not like they've ever heard of a human before me–other than Lyra, who's just a crazy fanatic who wants to infect the world with "Humans like humus!" and "I want to be a human, they're much cooler" and "How could you not want to be a human? I mean, come on. Fingers, toes, noses, hair, hands. Hands, pony, hands!"
And that's why I generally keep my distance from Lyra.
Anyway, back to my rant about the things that are made for the use of ponies. Not to mention that about 70% of all "technology" here in Equestria relies on magic to power them up. I have about none, even less than Earth ponies. At least they're strong.
I guess I'll have to find some way to train my magic. I don't want to go to Twilight–I already take magic history and Equestrian reading and writing from her, and that's all the boredom I ever need–but who else is there? Rarity is the only trustworthy unicorn I know other than Twilight, and Lyra is the only other pony that "dares" to approach me. Not that I'm ever going to trust her in teaching me something as important as magic.
I can imagine it now…
"I don't care about magic, I just want to be human!" Lyra shrieks. "Make me human! Make me human! Make me like you! Take me to your leader!"
"Aah!" I yell, climbing onto Lyra's special 10th year edition "Humans are Cool!" couch. I pick up a broom and point it at Lyra as if she was an escaped lab project–which, come to think of it, she probably is. "Don't come any closer, pony!"
I shudder to think about it.
So who's left? Zecora, I guess. Is she any good at magic? Well, I suppose so–after all those magical remedies and potions, she has to know something about magic.
And that's why, right now, I'm walking alone in the Everfree Forest, feeling "Fluttershy-ish."
You know about all the ponies, who shudder at the very thought of venturing into the Everfree Forest? Yep, I'm one of them. The thing is huge, and being an Earth...-ian..., I haven't been in many forests. I used to live in the city. I've never even been in a forest. Even in Equestria, there are no forests–excluding, of course, the mysterious Everfree Forest: too dangerous to venture into (except for those few "brave souls"), too much magical energy to just cut it down.
The Everfree Forest is dark, and scary... And if you don't watch where you're stepping, you can easily turn into a frog or something. And believe me, I don't want to. I already live in a not-so-welcoming society (or at least, to unknown and possibly dangerous creatures).
Not to mention, I have a small backpack with only the basic necessities: food, water, a compass, some magical glow-in-the-dark "Magi-Orbs" (which are possibly the cheapest lights ever invented. Well, then again, Equestria hasn't even thought up of electricity yet) and matches. Otherwise, I'm totally alone in this dark, scary forest.
How does Fluttershy even live this close to the forest? While I was watching the show, I thought, "No big deal. Just a bunch of tamable, not-so-scary monsters and some flowers that pull pranks on people. And clouds moving on their own, which isn't as creepy as it sounds to ponies." I never imagined this.
Twilight explained that the Everfree forest is so scary because... Well, because it's nothing. Nopony's ever explored it thoroughly, and the ones who tried have disappeared forever. Even spookier, some turned up centuries in the future, not aware that anything had happened. The Everfree was uncharted, dangerous, and magical. The monsters they'd seen there were only a tenth as dangerous as they were in the heart of the Everfree, where there was supposedly, quoting from Starswirl the Bearded VI: "A magical abundance of energy, coming from an unknown source."
Spooky.
And right now I was venturing into the most dangerous forest in all of Equestria. Piece of cake, right? Not really. But I forced myself to–and besides, there was a "road" leading to Zecora's hut. Made of berries. Which, of course, birds could peck away and eat...
They don't, I reminded myself. They're berries for a reason. All the birds and wildlife in the Everfree are carnivorous. They'd never even dare touch a berry!
Of course, that just added to my worries. I didn't want to be eaten by 10-foot-tall carnivorous birds! Okay, maybe they weren't 10 feet tall, but considering this was the Everfree, they very well may be!
I began walking, following the trail of berries. Not just any berries–they were green, and very brightly colored. I heard a couple of growls as I went through the path, but they soon disappeared for some unknown reason.
Unknown. That was the Everfree.
Remember when I said I needed a day off? Well, so much for that thought. I was shivering in fear, wondering if I'd ever get out alive. And then I heard some noises: but not just any noises, not just the scary, fear-invoking growls of the local carnivorous wildlife of the Everfree. It was a pony's–or a zebra's–voice, chanting what seemed like a spell. I couldn't see anything–the dense trees and plants blocked sight–but I was certain I'd come close.
As I walked closer to the noise, I could see a light. How was that possible? Of course, I was used to lights in Equestria. At first I had thought that the light I saw was simply a light bulb–it was much too bright for a lantern–but then I stopped in my tracks.
Zecora was a zebra. She didn't have magic, aside from her spells and potions. And even then, it wasn't her magic casting or making them. It was the herbs themselves.
Of course she had internal magic. That was a different story. That was the kind of magic Earth ponies and pegasi had. But they couldn't cast spells. I had learnt about it in Twilight's "magical history class for the clueless! Fun awaits" course (which was named very terribly, since I had slept through most of it, using my 1,200-page-book as a pillow) and Twilight was never wrong. Well, aside from that time... and that other time... and the time before that...
Whatever! She almost is never wrong. Well, she's a whiz at magic history. I doubt she'd get something as plain and simple as types of magic confused. She was the princess's personal student! But that light was much too bright to be anything but magical. Unless Zecora had invented electricity and made light bulbs that worked with it.
I stopped in my tracks, listening in to what the person was saying. "Soon she will escape," the voice hissed. "We cannot let that happen..."
Escape? Who was the person talking about? It definitely wasn't Zecora. That was out of the question, and had been since a while ago. Apparently though, the other person (who I wasn't aware of until now) had the same question in mind. "What girl are you talking about? Glydinf?"
The other person hissed in disapproval. "That was the griffin, Skippy. I'm talking about the human girl! You know, two legs, annoying, no fur. The one that ruined all our plans!"
"I don't like it when you call me Skippy...," the other person grumbled angrily. "You're always saying, 'Skippy, do this,' and 'Skippy, do that.' Call me by my normal name for once, Chrysalis!"
Now that I realized who the mare talking actually was, I was surprised I didn't notice before. Now that I thought about it, I could hear a faint buzzing of insect wings–I had thought that was just a fly, but now I wasn't sure–and I could hear the "Chyralis-ness" of her voice.
One problem: Who was the other stallion? Like I said, definitely a stallion; I could tell from the deepness of his voice, yet I had a bad feeling about him, one that I didn't have with Chrysalis.
A very, very bad feeling. "Skippy," said Chrysalis, "don't play around with me. Games weren't included in the brochure. Not that I gave you one. Back to work…," she sighed in defeat, "Discord."
I could literally feel the smile on the stallion's face. Or at least, Discord's face. Why did this always have to be me…?
Twilight had "trained" me for these types of situations–the types of situations that the Elements were in all the time. But I would have to deal with them even more, because… I was more, say, interesting. Unknown. People would want to get their hands on me–and they were lucky if they could get close.
Except, we weren't dealing with crazy Lyra-type ponies here, the type that were just obsessed with my life (I have run into at least twenty fan clubs since I came here). But never people who wanted to harm me, or even worse, kill me–other than Sombra, who's long gone, and exiled in the mountains. Or wherever, I didn't pay attention to that history lesson (or, for that matter, any other history lesson).
"You call me 'Skippy,'" Discord remarked, "so I'll call you... Hmm, 'Buzz.' What a suiting name! But like you said, no matter how much it absolutely pains me to say it, we have to get to work. Work, work, work, busy bees! Why do they call them that, anyway? Oh, yes–because I invented that term!"
Discord is, officially, loopy.
"Get to work, Discord," hisses Chrysalis. "We have a deal, remember. Remember that when you call me silly names, remember that while you stray off and go... turn kittens into hydras, or whatever it is that you do. Remember that! We have a deal, and we have a deadline. If we don't meet that deadline–the Moon's anniversary–we'll fail. And you know how that will turn out!"
I didn't know what to do, frankly. I could keep on listening, and find out what their scheme was, or I could find a way out. My immediate survival or Equestria's: What would it be?
I decided that I had to get out of there, and quickly. If they discovered me, I wouldn't be able to get back to Ponyville anyway. Maybe I could find Zecora... or not. What if she'd been found by the "squad"? I couldn't trust her anyway, because she could be a spy.
Well, she could. So could everypony else. It was just luck: Who got discovered, and who escaped before they could. It wasn't a matter of actually being bad, or taking revenge on your friends. It was about whether Discord and Chrysalis got to you first.
Not to mention, who was Chrysalis feeding off of? Discord didn't have love, and if he did I'd be surprised. He destroyed Ponyville and didn't even care. He liked it. So it was likely that Zecora was Chrysalis's only source of food for the past... however long she'd been here.
No, I wouldn't go to Zecora's, although that's why I came in the first place. Instead...
Would they be able to track me, I reasoned, if I turned on my chat with Lyra? Maybe, or maybe not. It was a risk I'd be willing to take: After all, what other choice did I have? I could run, but there still were other dangers, like Timber Wolves, and those plants. I'd been looking out, checking that I didn't step in any Poison Joke, for the whole journey here. If I just ran, I would definitely step in Poison Joke.
Or I could teleport, which would take a long time–I wasn't even sure I could, not with no training. Maybe I could turn invisible again out of instinct if I tried hard enough, but they would hear me. I would be caught or something bad would happen, no matter what I did.
But I had made a choice.
The telepathy was voice-activated, so I whispered: "Telepathy with user 'Lyra Heartstrings, Human Extraordinaire' activated." I was shaking, trying not to alert anypony near me. After a minute of waiting, desperately wanting to just talk to her, crazy or not, I heard something.
((So, I hear Alexis talking with Twilight, and she says "I like pie, you know"–... Oh, hello, Alex! I was just talking about you with Pinkie. I WANT TO BE A HUMAN! Anyway, what are you callin' up me for? I'm just a puny pony... Why me? Why can't we switch places? Why?!)
Lyra, I really need your help. Really, I do, and this is an emergency. Discord and Chrysalis are right in front of me. Seriously! I'm stuck in the Everfree... Can you teleport? Please, can you? Or at least tell Twilight to?
((Well, I don't know. For that I'd need some, oh, maybe... Some hands!))
I'll get Twilight to cast the hands spell on you if you get me out of here. Tell Twilight to lock onto my signal and then teleport me out of here at all costs. Please tell her!
((Well, ya know, I'll think about it. Maybe I will... In a week or two. Ga'bye!))
Lyra, you know I'm not messing around... Fine, you know what, I'll get Celestia to transform you into a human if you do this for me! Please...
((Deal!))
I shut the telepathy off. Of course I wasn't going to ask the Princess to transform Lyra into a human! That was crazy. But I felt bad about lying to Lyra, even if it was Lyra we're talking about here. Lyra who's obsessed with me, Lyra who keeps annoying me. But maybe...
Maybe I could take her to Earth, just for a little while.