Press Release! Job Hunting for the Win!
Weeks passed since the day I was forcefully brought into Equestria, and when I went to Twilight's castle—a castle made of crystal, mind you—it was a rocky start at first. It seemed someone rattled the press about both my existence and me whacking their beloved princess in the snout.
Twilight was swamped with daily requests, begs and demands from them to both see and meet the hairless ape that had the nerve to attack their beloved ruler. I watched the fireworks fly from my room—being careful not to be seen thought—but it was even harder to stay as a discreet watcher, when those damned pigeon-ponies (Yeah, I know they are called Pegasi, but the flying paparazzi are as annoying and dumb as pigeons, so meh) came about to the windows trying to see if they could spot me.
They didn't know what I truly looked like, but it didn't stop the press from trying to imagine what I looked like. I thought that, maybe after a week of them trying to see whatever I was, they would just grow tired and go away… .
Ha! Tough luck for lil’ old me! They kept appearing like flies over crap on a hot day! While Twilight tried to both help them and me as best as she could, yet I could read their comments on the local papers—plus the demands from the ones appearing in person—saying their readers 'demanded' to know what the Princess of Friendship was doing watching over such a violent, irrational creature that had assaulted one of their leaders on first sight.
Her friends—of course—were getting worried as the days passed, and came over as soon as they heard… both to get a measure of the violent ape, and try to protect her from the monster at the same time. Twilight, however, explained to them that I was harmless… to a extent.
Shadow, my personal bodyguard slash overseer, reminded me during one of those days, “Monkey. If you actually assault one of those pressponies for calling you monkey both in their inquiries and in written, I will deal with you swiftly,” while giving me a frown as I kept using the offending newspaper as raw material for my latest weapon of mass destruction: A compact ball of wadded, worthless newspaper.
So, without saying a word, I threw my weapon at her head, and gave her a simple, blank look as she just stared at me with blinking eyes, changing to a deep frown as I gave her my response. “I could really care less what they think of me Fang Face,” A nickname I started to call her if she called me only by human or monkey. “But I will say this, if they attack me with fists or whatever… I will respond with more than just words… believe me.”
I must admit, that our ‘relationship’ was… rocky to say the least. Shadow always seemed to glare down at me whenever we would lock eyes, and despite knowing fully well that I know her opinion on the matter… she kept reminding me that if I did anything that would cause me to be thrown in the cell, she wouldn’t think twice of doing so.
Anyone would think that I assaulted her granny with a pie to the face… and took a picture to commemorate that act, if I were to judge her normal reactions towards me in our daily interactions.
In reality? I kept my posture on self-defense, and screw whoever thought that I was a ‘primitive savage’ or whatever crap they cooked… as I kept replying to her, “Fang Face, I don’t really care about your opinion in this matter, if anyone attacks me first for whatever reason, I will defend myself.”
Of course, that meant we didn’t see eye to eye… and I had a feeling she didn’t want this job at all herself. Thus, I would guess how she got herself stuck in babysitting duty with me. It sure looked like she didn’t want the job at all… or, was too personally invested in keeping an eye on me. As for me? I had no bloody clue about the why.
No one in hell is gonna ‘deal’ with me, or say so without me giving them a piece of my mind at least!
In that day of fate, where all of our destinies were decided… .
It was when the Twilight’s worrywarts arrived the first time to measure me up. I still remember it like it was yesterday… .
I was approached by a pigeon-pony girl that looked like a sportsgirl, coming towards me with both determination and self-confidence in her stride. “I am Rainbow Dash, and I am the fastest pegasus in all of Equestria, and possibly the world!” She introduced herself as I took notice that her mane and tail were very similar to that of a rainbow-like coloring—at least her name seemed to match her looks, eh? In closer examination, I saw that she wore simple, tight jogging pants and training shirt, and after she introduced herself she would glare at me at times, as if wondering what to make of me as she kept circling around me.
I—in return—slightly glared back at her, even more so when she moved closer and closer to me. I still remember our exchange from that first day… after all this time, and do so with a smile!
“So,” she started off as she was the first of Twilight’s friends who wanted to walk up toward me, to brave against the one who punched The Kidnapper; and lived. “Do you think that you are a hot shot, because you punched Princess Celestia in the snout… and all you got was a few hours in the slammer?”
“No,” I replied, “I think I would’ve been a ‘Hot Shot’ if I punched her in the face, and didn’t get in trouble like I did.” I pointed out to her as she crossed her arms and gave me a confused look.
“You do know that she is powerful enough to lift and lower the sun right? I mean,” she went on as she moved her arm a bit to point at me. “You’re lucky that you’re even still standing!”
“The amount of caring I have that she can supposedly lift and lower the sun, is about the same chances of me going back home.” I simply stated. “So no, I really don’t care that she can, if she can.” I still didn’t believe that these princesses had the powers to lower and rise the sun and moon, I mean… that’s just utterly crazy!
However she soon leaned closer again as if getting ready to attack me. I, assuming the worst, also readied myself just in case she would try something like this. However, before I could react… she started laughing loudly at me!
I just looked at her askance, before she took me by surprise when she punched me rather hard on the arm, then said to me in between guffaws, “Dude, you must've had big balls to punch the one who can control the very sun!”
The next was that of a white unicorn, I don't know why but the first thing that came to mind with her was the word and concept of ‘marshmallow’—and again—I'm not sure why.
She was as wary as one would be when dealing with someone with a hostile reputation… but when she saw my clothes, her eyes opened wide as she nearly gasped out in shock—as if the clothes I was currently wearing were that of that from a horror movie! Granted, she didn’t know the details at the time, as she exclaimed, “My word!” her voice sounded that of a French like girl… Personally? I don’t know what was that accent of hers, really. “Just what happened to your clothes!” It was then when I finally noticed that my attire was a bit dirty. Well, I mean… I was dragged across the ground for a bit, and all I had on my feet were socks. Before I could even put in another word to her torrent of words, she surprised me by coming up close to me and asked me, almost as if begging, “Do you have any other clothing that aren't as dirty as these?!”
“No…” I replied with a risen eyebrow. “Didn’t have time to pack, before being dragged through a portal by someone messing with crap they shouldn't have been messing around with from the start.” I don’t know if she didn’t like the answer, or the fact that I didn’t have any clothing except my home-staying clothing—but she magical brought a tape measure up in her hand as her horn glowed.
“Oh no no no! This won’t do at all!” she exclaimed and moved closer. “Hold still!” I even yipped when she brought the tape… a little bit too close to Jr.
She wrote down some sizes, before saying to me, “Don’t worry about not having new clothing, Brandon, since I’ll be making you some! A stallion like yourself must shine, to show to everypony that you’re a gentlestallion and not the savage everyone thinks is contained in the castle dungeon!”
As for me? I guess now that I thought of it... it would only make sense that I had some new clothes, and as she put it; gave her a chance to try to make clothing for a being never before seen in the world! And convince others that I’m not the crazy cousin kept locked in the basement or something.
Must not forget that one detail.
“Just please, Rarity,” I heard Twilight talk from behind me as the unicorn went about getting a few more numbers in place on a previously missing notepad. “Just don’t go overboard if you are going to do this?”
How overboard did she go normally? I wondered while a cold shiver ran down my spine… only for my thoughts to be derailed by the approach of the third worrywart.
A yellow pigeon-pony—who screamed shy just by looking at her—plus the fact that she kept whispering everything she said made it hard for me to be my normal self. I mean, the Pegasus looked and sounded cute… but I'm not sure, in between her shyness, when added to the fact that I had to really focus to hear as she whispered… it was something that nearly almost drove me crazy.
“Hey…?” Twilight whispered to me as she moved along to my side. “You… don’t happen to have any pets back home?” She asked me in a hushed whisper as the shy pegasus kept fidgeting while hiding behind her hair-do.
This question confused me a bit, throwing me off… before I started wondering what she meant when she asked me about that. But I replied after a moment of thought: “Yeah… well, I mean, my grandmother does, two cats named Tiger and Max… though I am a dog person more.”
When ShyMcWhisper heard that, she perked right up before asking in—what could be interpreted as her loudest voice—“Oh! Really?!” while moving closer to me, her hands pressed against one another as she seemed very happy all of a sudden. She asked with real and genuine emotion and interest, “Were they cute? Did you cuddle with them? Oh! You must miss them oh, so, much!”
Oh. Seems that Whispers is the animal lover type… so I won't tell her how I would pick up and chuck Tiger away when he got on my nerves… wait, before you call upon her wrath, let me tell you: the bugger knew I liked to sleep in at times and he would bite my nose just for kicks. That cat’s lucky I didn't throw him out the window!
The orange cow girl waited until Hush fluttered away in an PETA-loving fashion… before nearly breaking my hand with the way she shook it. She even pulled me in close to whisper to me as she held my hand in a very hard deadlock.
“I dun’ like the fact that you attack’d one of our rulers,” she spoke to me with a weirdly clichéd cowgirl accent, her Stetson slightly covering her eyes and her yellow like mane. “But ah can understand the fact that you lost your family when brought here. An’ to me, to me family is very important… so ah’ll let that slide… but be warn’d.” At this point, her iron grip tightened further, making my eyes nearly pop out of my head as I tried my best not to whimper. “Hurt any of my friends or family… and ah will deal with you far worse than anyone in the royal guard ever could…”
I took her word for truth, I would hate to have to mess with her on a bad day as I nodded quietly and very, very, decisively. Apparently feeling satisfied, Iron Farmgirl released her hold on me and took a few steps towards her friends… only for a pink blur to invade my personal space with extreme prejudice.
This last worrywart pony however… I had no idea what to make of her. Even more so now, as I sat at the dinner room in this huge crystal castle, eating thankfully out of normal plates with normal cutlery some pancakes.
I knew one thing… this pony has way too much free time on her hands, as she kept asking me throughout the weeks:
"Please?" She pouted at me, blue eyes watering a little as her happy tone wavered.
"No." I said pointedly as I kept eating my delicious pancakes.
"Please?" She asked again, all while pouting, blue eyes watering more as her happy voice cracked… and somehow her fluffy, curly hair started to straighten out as she… darkened some? What the hell?
"No." I replied while ignoring her, eating with gusto the pancakes. That dragon sure knows how to cook!
"Please?!" she asked once more, before adding in her plea, “There will be cupcakes, and cake, and cookies, and candy, and-!”
We were going at this for nearly half a hour… the reason for the Q&A in progress being: “Can I make for you a ‘Welcome to Equestria, Welcome to Ponyville, Brandon the Falcon-Puncher!”
To that, I only could ask: How!? How in the name of God did she know about Captain Falcon and his glorious Falcon Punch!? And why use that line for me!?
Also, I wasn’t one who liked parties or really wanted an early case of diabetes from all that sugar, but didn’t want to outright tell Pinkie Pie that—lest I risk unleashing some sort of unholy curse on my ass.
I didn’t need that, I already was under watch from Shadow Fang Face.
The one I liked most, and who was responsible for the making of this delicious breakfast was Spike, a little purple dragon that I was introduced by Twilight the day we arrived.
Almost immediately we hit it off, maybe because he was maybe the first dude I spoke to face to face since being here. He was nearly my size as well, perhaps a bit shorter, but around the same height as Twilight. During our first meeting, I was told that he had a small growth spurt because of something called Dragon's Greed. Seems the more greedy the dragon was, the bigger they got. Of course they could always wait as they grew older to get bigger like anyone else. But it seems the greed thing was a sort of… short cut I would say?
Anyways, me and Spike hit it off a bit after I came… At the start, yeah… he was worried about me being there, me being something he never seen before, and me being someone who apparently had a mean hook. What I say in return? Come on! You’re a fire breathing dragon! What would you have to fear from me?!
Still, I played it cool… and after a few hours of getting to know each other, we were in his room reading old comics he collected. From Batmane to Supermare, all the way to the Power Ponies… of which I told him we had super heroes like this back home, Batman, Superman, and Power Rangers.
“I’m telling you, dude!” I exclaimed with a toothy smile on my face as we sat face to face with a pile of comic books in between us, me holding one up of the Pony Ponies. “We have comics back home! And one of them was called Power Rangers, with the Red Ranger being the leader and all that stuff!”
“Really?” he asked, a clear happy tone in his voice as he smiled. “I bet you don’t have Iron Mare!”
“Nope… but we got Iron Man!”
Strange how our worlds are so different… and yet so many names that sounded like they should've been puns, but were in fact the names of the place. Manehatten for one, and there wasn't Chinese, but Neighese… I shit you not.
Still, beside all that, it was good to have a friend, that friend being a dragon who was perhaps around the same age as me, I never did ask his age. But as I stayed here more, and learned more of this world and this place known as Equestria, other things came to light.
I learned before that ponies male to female ratio was rather… vastly different. Nearly 4/10 are males! Only to learn from the mouth of the dragon when I asked how they worked with the whole dating scene this little tidbit: it was normally the females that asked the males out, who paid for everything and all that. I mean, sure! The guys did their part, but it was nearly always females, versus females, fighting for the right of the male by proving what they could do to outdo the rival girl to get the male.
That one’s a big change for me, especially since at home it was the guy who has to work for a lot of things to get the girl… and now it was the girl trying to get the guy!
Herding was a thing, meaning it was one stallion with more than one mare. I, however, have no idea to this day how anyone could deal with that—having more than one lover—but whatever, new world; new rules I suppose.
Me saying 'whatever' to that didn't mean I had grown use to living here at all.
Add to that the fact that someone in the castle ratted out what had happened, but didn't tell the newspress what I looked like—only that I came from another world through a portal, and that I punched the Kidnaper in the nose.
Now that I think about it, talking about how I whacked the Kidnapper across the snout was getting stale at this point, and I didn't have that drive it did gave me a few weeks back.
But I digress. Ever since arriving here at Chateau du Crystal, there has been a constant line of newspress flies, from ponies, to a few gryphons here and there… all asking—no wait, than isn’t right... DEMANDING a interview with the 'Hairless Monkey.'
Sure, I've seen plenty of illustrations of what they thought I looked like… trust me when I say, they were bad—their saving grace being that they were so hilariously bad that I couldn’t help but laugh and even collect the funniest ones. They served a noble purpose: our enjoyment as me and Spike laughed at them as I said with the voice of a British narrator, “The witness reports state that this individual was seen roaming the victim’s house… only for one of the cops at the scene of the crime exclaim, “But that’s my uncle Larry!” ”
But right now, in this very moment, the press that was now outside in the early morning was the least of my issues.
"Please?" Pinkie Pouts insisted, her moist blue eyes attempting an assault with the siege weapon “cute pout” against the iron-and-oak gates that represented my… I forgot where I was going with that one.
"No," I replied as I heard a clunk, Spike rubbing his forehead after banging himself lightly on the countertops as he made some more pancakes… of which some had gems adorning them that I figured would be for him, plus more regular ones for Twilight who would wake up when she did.
Spike was currently wearing a black like hoody, and a pair of PJ bottoms with Rarity's cutie marks on the side.
"I have two nieces back home Pinkie pie that did this with me." I resorted as she was slumped along the table looking at me with big eyes, her puffy pink mane slightly less bouncy as well as her darker pink coat… that seemed to smell of cupcakes. She wore a pair of baggy blue jeans and a pink shirt that seemed a bit small for her, that allowed her chest to pop a bit. Her bottom lip quivering as I refused yet again what she wanted.
"But you NEED a party!" she exclaimed as I reached over for my cup of coffee to sip, thank god they had coffee here. "I mean, I do that for all of the new ponies-"
"Human." I interjected in between sips of my brew.
"-That come here!" she finished as she slightly slide closer towards me… only for me to poke her nose with my finger, making a small, boop, noise.
"Oh really?!" I faked surprised and added. "That changes everything!"
"Really?!" she perked up and nearly sat up, happy. I then rained on her parade.
"Nope," and like that she fell flat on the table groaning in defect.
"Do you really need to mess with Pinkie's emotions like that?" I turned and saw a bad-bedheaded princess walk in, wearing a plain blue white pj pants, and a green top that seemed a size too big. She yawned as Spike carried her food over and a cup of tea. “Thank you, Spike!” she said to him before joining us at the table. Once seated in place, she added, "It's easier to give her what she wants at times."
"Nah, this is more fun really," I said smirking before booping the pink pony on the nose, "Reminds me of my niece." I went quiet for a bit as I felt the cellphone lodged within my pants’ pockets.
I kept the thing on me because of habit to this day… and sure, I couldn't use it for WIFI or Facebook, but it did have a few games I bought that didn’t need WIFI… but mostly, I liked the phone, and it reached a new value for me due to the photos it contained in its memory.
On the first days I was inside the crystal castle, I checked on the device to see its condition… and not thinking about it at the time, I did this outside of my room that I was given. When Twilight passed by, she saw the phone and immediately tried to study it while on my hands without my permission… earning her a smack on her hand as she had tried to take a hold of it in her excitement.
As for Shadow, she looked about ready to attack… only to stop on her tracks as I explained to both mares an old rhyme my mom once told me, and now I had a chance to use it.
“ 'Gimmie, Gimmie, doesn't get; don't you know your manners yet?' ”
It was an understatement that both mares, especially Twilight, looked confused at my rhyme… but as her ears splayed on her head, she realized that she tried to take something of mine without permission.
She asked if I could lend my cellphone to her, which made me have to teach her a bit more and to be VERY careful with it. Yeah, it was an old IPhone S5, but still this was one of the only things that I had of home.
The moment she saw that I had a folder dedicated to my books, her eyes brightened up before asking me if she could copy them… to which I asked how she would do that. Her response? She had a spell that worked this way: as she read, it made a physical copy next to her. So, in a sense, she was making a copy as she was reading a book from another world. Once she had soothed my fears concerning the safety of the device, I allowed her to do it… but not before reminding her of the phone’s fragility and how to charge it when nearing a state of discharge. For that last one, I showed her that the cellphone had a solar panel flip cover that could be plugged into the cell phone so that it would charge correctly, this last bit I demonstrated by placing the device by the window where the sunlight would hit it and work its magic.
In the span of a week, she nearly read half of the books from my phone—taking some long nighters to read them—and when done, made copies to send up to Canterlot. Spike had taken a liking to the Eragon books, something about not seeing a lot of nice dragon books in a while; while certainly enjoying all about knights saving the princess from their evil claws!
I was told that Twilight's own mother was in fact a author as well. I didn't know what she wrote, but eh, maybe in Twilight’s own personal library I'll find one of her books.
"Those pressponies really don't know when to let up do they?" Twilight asked, pulling me out from my train of thought. "I thought they would've been bored of not having a interview with you."
"I thought so too," I agreed as I finished the rest of my cup as Pinkie Pie got up and sat down in one of the open chairs, she huffing as she crossed her arms under her bust. "Seems some people don't know when to give up, right Pinkie?"
"Why don't you want a party though?!" she cried out waving her arms up as I sighed before rubbing my forehead. "What, bad experiences or something?"
"Yes, that's why I was mostly a loner save for a few friends back home, and most of them were online friends!"
"What's a… 'Online friend'?" Twilight asked and already, I saw her with a notebook at the ready.
Many notes taken of my human lingo like, Jesus, Hell, and other such colorful words that graced my lips were inscribed upon its pages. I know, it was quite humorous to see how she would write it down, as well as a small little definition for them.
Seems here in this world, Hell was known as Tartarus, and was The Kidnapper’s personal place to throw some beings there for punishment and such. That backfired spectacularly when I was told that one escaped and nearly sucked all the magic out of them.
"An ‘Online Friend’," I told her as she started to write. "Is… well, I suppose it is like a pen-pal really. We play games together from around the world, and just have fun."
"You much need a realllllly long controller and a verrrrrrry big telescope to see each other’s television then, wouldn't you?" Pinkie asked as I rolled my eyes.
"Online is a way where we don't need that, we can play around the world and talk to people using headphones as if they are in the same room… it's hard to explain, but I guess it's like..."
"Magic?" Twilight asked.
"Sure let's go with that." I agreed as she closed the book and smiled before eating her meal. "Maybe I should just have the interview to get them off my back..." I admitted. "I'm really hating to stay in here and I need bloody fresh air!"
She only softly laughed at me before continuing to eat… as if she knew that my act of holding my hands up meant to say ‘I surrender, please start asking me your questions!’ The fact that my ID came in just the other day, was also the other reason I wanted to get out there in Ponyville…
I wanted a job, I can't just laze about and do nothing. But, in that regard, Twilight offered me a job cleaning the castle up, to which I said If I couldn't find anything I would possible take her up on it. But as of right now, there was no way in hell I was going to be a guy going around cleaning a castle made of crystal. I mean; how would I clean it and how much would I have to clean on a daily basis?
Still, it was nice to know that no matter what, I had a backup plan. Which is saying a lot, considering that when I was at my world, I would quit a job and never had a fall back plan as there were too little opportunities to be had.
"So you gonna tell us why you don't want to have a party?" Pinkie’s voice asked me, her voice even pouting at me as I outwardly sighed, rubbing my head with one hand… only to turn to face her, and see Pinkie looking at me with those large blue pony eyes of hers, as if it would work on me spilling the beans.
"Bad experiences," I said firmly as I looked away a bit and placed my hands along the table. "People ruining birthday parties, or parties in general for me."
"How so?" Pinkie asked me, while Twilight watched our exchange.
"Never being invited to any as a kid was a good start," I said, yeah so cliché, not liking something ‘cause you didn't do it a lot as a child. "Also the fact of at first never having a lot of friends, and when I tried to make friends and give out invitations, well they would just rip it in front of me or just not come at all." She gasped at this as I kept on going. "School parties, I was never really the type to go to because I was always reminded of me being alone or a loser and such, so I stopped going. And well I guess I just found parties to be… overrated."
"WHAT?!" she screeched out. "How can you say that?!"
"When I did ever get people for a party, they ask the simple questions, any beer? Nope, sorry too busy. Any cute girls being there? Nope, too busy. Any drugs? Nope sounds like a stupid party. You’re hosting a party? HA not on your life!" and then I added. "And on the off chance like I said that people came, my stuff was broken, place was trashed, and soon I was left cleaning up the mess! So sorry… parties to me, overrated for nothing to gain!" She just looked at me with that same wide eye look, seemly thinking hard on whatever she was thinking. Before she could open her mouth I said. "You know, back home this would be considered harassment," I pointed out as she closed her mouth. "So… stop asking me, because the answer is no."
She just gazed at me, and I gazed back, she seemly thinking extremely hard, for her eyes narrowed slightly, her arms crossed over her chest. After a bit, she simply stood up and walked away, out the room, and down the hall. There was a silent moment that clung to the room as I stood up as well. "Either way, best go and get ready for this interview thing or whatever."
"She's only trying to help lighten your mood you know," Twilight pointed out as I sighed. "Just let her…"
"Nope, no party, don't want one, don't need one!" I said about to leave, before Twilight stopped me.
"Before you leave… Brandon? I heard you tossing and turning the other night… as well as crying…" I stopped and kept my back to her. "Was it a nightmare, or did you…"
"Look, Twilight..." I sighed rubbing my eyes slightly with my fingers as I looked back at her. "Look… no offense, but I don't need nor want anyone trying to get all cozy up with me right now, or ask me question about what I'm dreaming of, even if it is a nightmare. I've only been here a few weeks… and every day I wake up, I'm reminded that this is not a dream, that I'm still in a world where I'm the only human being, surrounded by colorful talking ponies, gryphons, and dragons…"
"Oh my!" Spike chimed in as both me and Twilight turned our gazed to him. "Sorry… couldn't help myself!"
"Either way," I continued looking at her as I added. "You gave me history books so I could read and learn what to do to avoid upsetting… you even told me of your past with The Kidnapper, about all these 'tests' she gave you and such. How you look up to her like a second mother of sort." I crossed my arms again, chin to my chest as I sighed softly. "I… I just can't deal with all of this right now okay… I'm in a world where I feel like I'll be labelled either as a freak and captured to use as some sort of study group… or being labelled a monkey who lost all its fur or something. I'll be asked the same questions over, and over again to the point will I want to rip my own ears off so I don't hear it or anyone anymore!”
I started ranting to the air, making both Twilight, Spike and my watcher step back a little. "You don't understand how I'm feeling, you don't understanding the feeling of not waking up and walking down the street to see your brother, or nieces. You don't understand the enjoyment of walking down the street and not having people whispering about what you are, or how you got here. You don't understand the feeling of utter rage toward someone for taking you away because they were too stupid to mess with something they don't understand!"
I took a moment to collect myself before then adding. "You don't understand… that my nightmare is of her… tearing my family away from me… laughing and saying how I'll never see them again." I spoke softly as I turned, and left to go to my room… dressing up for the day ahead with the clothes that Marshmallow had made for me… a day I wanted over and done with: the interview with the press. "You just don't understand, and you never will," I whispered mostly to myself.
I took my sweet time to get ready and steady my nerves… as well as putting my temper on hold. Kicking newsponies for being morons wouldn’t look alright, and perhaps earn me a furious mob with pitchforks and torches in return if I gave in.
Thus, the moment I came outside—with Twilight following behind me—I was flooded with both the day’s sunlight and flashes of old school cameras; with the wave of questions coming from all which was and that.
Notepads out, ready for anything I may say or do. Twilight was with me, placing on a mask to keep her emotions in check from what I told her early that day. I answered questions they had, who I was, what I was and even how I got here.
Of course some tried to defend their princess, even after they got the true words from me that I punched her. I didn't care, not really. I told them my feelings and why I did that; but I'm sure that they will spin a tale to make me look bad. Again, at this point I really didn't care.
Many question I refused to answer, and mostly that were of the same that Twilight asked of me when we first met.
If you don’t believe me, think about my reaction to the dumbest questions. Really? Asking me whether I brainwashed Princess Twilight and Princess Celestia with my Transdimensional Monkey Powers to conquer Equestria, then the World?
I laughed in the face of the reporters too dumb to ask things like that one (which earned the price of ‘dumbest thing ever’), before giving them my 'you really think I can do that' look plastered on my face.
But after an hour of an unending wave of questions after questions, they left like locusts after eating all the wheat. I breathed out a sigh of relief hoping to god this would be the last time this happened, or at least not really that long.
Taking the opportunity, I was about to head on out—having my ID in my wallet with me—before I felt a soft touch on my arm. When I turned to see who it was, I saw Twilight’s hand holding me slightly… before she spoke.
"Can… can we talk?" she asked softly. "About what you said earlier."
"Look Twilight I…"
"Just hear me out, please?" she asked, looking at me with those pleading eyes… only for me to let out a puff of air, giving in with a nod after a moment.
Going inside her castle, we went to a room so we could have more privacy. Once inside, she leaned on the wall as she rubbed her arm, before then starting. "You're right," she started as I waited to see what she meant. "I don't understand what you're going through, I don't and never will… and I know you're not use to opening up to talk to others. But realize this, Brandon… that is how we ponies are. We tell others when we have issues, we tell others when we have worries and hopefully they can help us move on and solve them. It's just the way we are as a civilization… as a culture… as people."
She looked up to me as I kept gazing down at her before she added on more. "You claimed that you didn't have help back home, save from your family. That you didn't have a lot of friends to lean against. But… but maybe I can help?" she asked smiling, looking hopeful. "I want you to be happy Brandon, I am the Princess of Friendship… but more than that, I'm a pony too, one that doesn't want to see someone upset, or in pain. I'm always here to help, or just to talk!”
"All I ask… is that if you feel like you just need to talk, to vent… to even scream at someone. I'm always here to listen," she said before offering me a hug, her arms out a bit as I looked at her and down at her arms.
I had always done things before on my own… it was just the way I was raised, you had to do things on your own, life wasn't handed to you on a silver platter like the one percent. But seeing her and hearing what she had to say… maybe I could open up, maybe I could…
"Thanks," I said, not hugging her, but holding her hand in a firm handshake. "But right now, I just need to… adjust, maybe one day, but just… not now." She looked down at our joined hands and sighed softly, before nodding a bit as we released our hands. "Either way… can I go now? I really just need to walk about a bit."
"Sure… have fun Brandon!" she said as I gave her a small smile, and soon made my way outside.
It was nice… to be outside for real, the last time was when I first came to Ponyville. Some of the ponies gave whispers to me as I walked passed, my hands in my pocket as I walked along the dirt road, the crunching of rocks under my sandal-clad feet, courtesy of Marshmallow before she tried her hand at making something more… tough.
As I walked by, started getting accustomed to it… slightly, the whispering I mean. I didn't get far on my own until Shadow came out and was walking behind me.
“Did you really need to laugh at the questions they asked you?” was the first thing she asked of me as I outwardly sighed from this, already bringing my hand up to my eyes to rub at, as if rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. “They were just asking questions that were on their minds!”
“Here… allow me to mind control you with my otherworldly powers,” I made a ‘woooo’ noise as I wiggled my fingers at her, causing her to snort and glare at me once more… should really start calling her Fangy McGlare, from now on with all the glaring she gave me… really would add more wrinkles to her face I supposed.
Thus, I took note of that fact for later, when she grated my nerves further down this day. Heh… all that glaring will wrinkle you, Fangy Wrinkly McGlare!
Still, even with miss grump guard coming up behind me, the day was turning out good.
“For one, I am looking for work, Fangy Face… that way I won’t have to think much about all this crap I’m going through right now.” I said to her as I kept looking for the legendary, unique sign that says the universal song of hope for all unemployed everywhere: Help wanted.
Shadow? She replied the way I knew that she would.
“At least then you won’t be a freeloader when it comes to staying within the Princess of Friendships halls,” my overseer announced, the clanking of her armor coming up behind me as I sighed outwardly again.
She was really starting to get on my nerves. Well, now that I really think about it, perhaps she took this job just to try and push me into doing something utterly stupid to give her a reason to lock me up. I really wanted to respond to what she had said, but well, after the interview and all the little comeback I gave them, maybe I ran out of wit for the day; will have to refill it with coffee when we returned from my quest.
As I didn't' reply back due to me not feeling in the mood to push her buttons as well. (No matter how much I really wanted to.) Our relationship really hadn't changed since the first day she was assigned as my guard. She still graced me with little or no friendly chatting, save to either say stuff to make me feel bad for what I did to the Kidnapper, or whatever else that crossed her two-pence noggin.
But again it didn't matter to me one cent… Because every time she did, I pointed out how blindly following someone even when they made a mistake and tried to justified it, just proved how much of a blind follower she really was; again she didn't like that one bit.
There were a few places that were hiring, but they mostly shut me down the moment I asked… either because they didn't know what I was and wouldn't want to risk their place of work with that… or perhaps it was because of the guard standing behind me glaring heavily mostly at me.
After a hour of looking, Shadow spoke up. "Look, human," she spoke, first time I think she ever called me a non-monkey related name. "No one is going to hire you so why don't you just stop and head back to the castle?"
"Maybe because it's the fact you're always glaring behind me," I pointed out. "Perhaps if you stayed outside I may have had a job by now!"
"Are you blaming me?!" Shadow raged at me as she got closer to meet my sight, me not giving in as she came closer, silted eyes almost meeting mine if not for her snout.
"Maybe," I said smirking looking back at her. "Wouldn’t it be funny if that was the case?" she only frowned at me all the more as I continued, "How about this, a little deal between us." I pointed to a shop, looking like a candy shop called Bon Bon's Candy Shop. In the window was a Help wanted sign as I laid out my plan. "This will be the last one I try today, if I go in alone and get the job… hrm… you give me half of your payment that's coming up for say… two payments."
"And if you don't get the job?" she asked, her eyebrow raising.
"If I don't… you get two of my payment from the government… full." I said, drawing the words in such a way to convince the hard-headed mare.
As for Fangy McGlare? Her eyes slightly grew wide at that as she smirked and held her hand out, handshaking my proffered hand. "Deal!" She exclaimed.
Perhaps working as a guard isn’t the best choice of career here, if she salivated at having my monies? Must remember that.
Walking inside the store, the smell of sweet candy rushed to my nose as it reminded me of a kid in a… well candy store! Rows of candy, and other such things seen along the walls, and table. At the end was a old cash counter and behind it, a mare. She was one of the normal-looking ponies… an Earth Pony with a beige coat, pigment blue mane with a rose pink streak, cerulean eyes. She wore what looked like a green shirt to match the sign outside that had the name, a name tag along her shirt that read, Sweetie Drops.
When she heard me coming, she gazed up at me and looked rather surprised, a trait I kinda grew use to at this point. But, to my pleasant surprise, she only smiled and said. "Well hello there!" How surprising… a pony that's willing to talk to me, outside of the few I knew of. "What can I do for you?"
"I saw that you had a Help Wanted sign out front," I pointed out pointing with my thumb to the window. "And I was wondering if you would be willing to hire me." She looked at me, seemly looking me up and down at this as she placed her hand along her chin as if thinking even deeper.
"Truly I'm not sure," she said looking at me again. "I'm not doubting that you can't do anything but still…" she said before her eyes lit up. "However… and take this as lightly as I can make it. You working here, someone that no one had ever seen before; could bring sellers in mostly just to see you… uh no offense."
"Some taken…" I said, not angry, seeing how I could see her reason. "If it means anything, I am a quick learner… and I'm willing to work in heavy lifting. I know someone of magic could be better but…"
"No," she stopped me and smiled. "I know what you mean, and don't worry about that." She looked off as if thinking and said "How about this, day after tomorrow why don't you come back for some trail run, we will do a three month trial and if you are a good fit, we can talk about part-time or full time?"
I smiled, happy at least that I was going to be given a chance, with handshakes given and time frame of coming back, I left out the shop as Shadow was waiting for me.
Approaching her, I asked, "So! When do I expect my first payment?" before smirking at her as I walked on back to the castle… Not hearing her clanking armor behind me, I turned briefly to see what was taking her so long… only to see her wide eyes open in disbelief, looking at me without blinking.
And what made that scene all the better, was when Sweetie Drop went to the window, and removed the Help Wanted sign.
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Keep up the good work! I'm really enjoying this story so far.
Oh brilliant! This was a very enjoyable chapter to read. And now, I wonder how Lyra Heartstrings will react of dear Bon's new employee. Oh, it is going to be so much fun indeed, heh.
I actually hope Lyra's reaction is a non reaction.
I actually like that you gave a good reason for Brandon to dislike someone. Most writers don't even give a reason to dislike anyone.
I also like that Celestia is honestly sorry and trying . I don't see him forgiving anytime soon but I'd like to see him do so someday.
Great stuff. Looking forward to more.
Dat chapter ending was just perfect!
Great stuff!! I am slightly hoping something comes out of Shadow Fang Face and Brandon. :3
I didn't catch this during my first read but now that I see it it kinda bothers me.
Damn, what a nice chapter.... hoping for more :D
You really need to fix both descriptions for the story.
8397311
how so?
i can say this is a interesting story i can see a few places that needs attention but nothing a really hard edit can't fix.
but i have a feeling what i am seeing is just you and the way you think. (chanterlot)
😂😂I see what you did there😂😂
You're getting soft.
Woohoo! Job!