When the Wonderbolts find a strange purple cloud near Cloudsdale they decide to check it out, turns out it's a portal, a portal to a horrible place, but they pull something out and now it must figure out how to live its new life in Equestria.
elestia replied, "It's no worries, I managed to get half an hour off, plus I wanted to say good bye, sorry I was icy back there, but I dealt with humans before and they were.... Horrible.
I think I said it already, while I remember the mirror, I hate it when Celestia always knows the interessted "crossover" creatures already.
Luna said, "And I need to apologize about me entering your dream, and I wanted to ask if you wanted to be on my blacklist?"
Have you actually written that scene?, I would probably have said that she maybe shouldn'T just always do that out of nowhere. I always image how easy it has to be to violate a ponies/persons personal space with her powers.
"Just Celestia, Cadence, Shining Armor, and Pinkie Pie, she's far more disturbed than anypony I've ever met."
It depens on what you think about when you put Pinkie Pie on her list. I mean I can enjoy a depressed Pinkie story, but hopefully this isn'T about some weird fan stuff.
But all he found was a small note, it said, "The box will open when the time comes, keep it on you at all times, the time's coming up. Be ready for your greatest challenge."
Sorry if I'm all like " I don'T want this and I hope it isn'T this today", but I really hope this is no Cadance magic ring that comes out when he notice his feeligns for Spitfire or something, but at the same time it is a nice thought "if" Spitfire should have told Cadance about her possible crush. I'm not a big fan of "I noticed your deep and not yet developet love for each other".
"She had the kind of ass you dream of, it was so good it literally killed an elderly man who was behind us in line, she dropped her change and she bent over, and do you know how I could tell his heart attack was from her?"
"How?"
"He had a massive boner, luckily I used a jacket and covered that part, so only the medical crews and the funeral services had to see it, poor fuckers."
I hope in the fourth chapter it is either not there or written slightly differently.
I still like the story, but sometimes I'm a bit allergic to some certain storie elements and sometimes I can endure it.
I think I said it already, while I remember the mirror, I hate it when Celestia always knows the interessted "crossover" creatures already.
Have you actually written that scene?, I would probably have said that she maybe shouldn'T just always do that out of nowhere. I always image how easy it has to be to violate a ponies/persons personal space with her powers.
It depens on what you think about when you put Pinkie Pie on her list. I mean I can enjoy a depressed Pinkie story, but hopefully this isn'T about some weird fan stuff.
Sorry if I'm all like " I don'T want this and I hope it isn'T this today", but I really hope this is no Cadance magic ring that comes out when he notice his feeligns for Spitfire or something, but at the same time it is a nice thought "if" Spitfire should have told Cadance about her possible crush. I'm not a big fan of "I noticed your deep and not yet developet love for each other".
I hope in the fourth chapter it is either not there or written slightly differently.
I still like the story, but sometimes I'm a bit allergic to some certain storie elements and sometimes I can endure it.
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Next chapter will have action, and I didn't like writing this chapter much, but I had to to continue the story and to give some detail to Eli.