• Published 6th Jun 2017
  • 1,397 Views, 108 Comments

Wanted: Dead or Alive - spike the lone wanderer

Spike and fallout are the most wanted criminals of esquestria,and they pursued by the mane 5, a group of bounty hunters feared by all. Will they save their lives or will they die while trying.

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1.Wanted.1 (Rewritten)

Everfree Forest. Everything was calm then two men appeared running, a dragon with green hair and a pegasus with dark brown hair with yellow stripe.

''Everything is your fault Spike !'' Fallout Shielhunter A.K.A Falloutdude: Don't mess with, Loves pink.

''We're a team, so it's your fault too!'' Spike Drake A..K.A The lone wanderer: Total wildcard,
Extent of bullshit: Unknow.

''If I die, you die!'' They tried to escape the Mane 5, a group of bounty hunters feared by all. The leader of this group is a unicorn named Rarity, beautiful but deadly. A cowgirl wich controls plants, a pegasus able to creates bolts of lightning. Another pegasus that can communicate with animals and, a pony capable of modifying her body to make it as hard as crystal. But, she can also kill you with her party cannon.(ideal to set a good mood.)

''They still following us Fallout?'' Fallout looked behind him, but there was nothing.

''No, they must be far away now.'' Spike rubbed his hands.

''Great! We showed them the power of our cosmic duo!''

'' Despite the fact that you ate a lot of donuts.''

''Hey! My money, my lunch and you eat too so if you are not happy, refund me, you ungrateful child.'' Fallout hesitated to kill Spike with a stone.

''That was my money, Spike.''

''Well, at least we are alive, and these girls are far behind me I mean us. So, thank you, Spike for saving my life, you're welcome buddy.'' Spike took a step, and a wall of trees appeared in front of him.

''Crap!'' They ran in all directions, but each time a new obstacle appeared. Crystals, lightning and even a magic barrier. Spike and Fallout hugged each other, and they hear somepony laughs.

''Hahahahahaha!'' A succubus with rainbow hair appeared before them.

''We found those rotten apples.'' The smoking demon said.

''Yes, unfortunately for them.'' The leader replied.

''The party can begin again!'' The deadly jester was happy like hell.

''Any last words.'' Our heroes were paralyzed by fear because before them was death, the Mane 5.

''Hi, I'm Spike Drake AKA The Lone Wanderer AKA the most beautiful dragon in the world, and you wonder: My boyfriend told me it was a funny story, but these guys are going to get their heads cut by the girl with a fucking katana. Yeah, It may be a story. But, it's not funny. And yeah, technically she's a murderess. But the best stories begins with a dead man. And that exactly what it is. A funny story and, to tell you right...I must take you long before I meet these girls.''

Space, there was nothing then Boom! Explosion in your mother, creating a lot of stars.

''Oops, too early, my bad.''

Fast forward in time

''THE SUN EXPLODES! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!'' Boom, everypony is dead.

''Fuck Spike! Give me that.''

Back in time

Ponyville, the town where dreams come true, it's also the city of the bounty hunters and other heroes. If you are wanted for If you are wanted for murder, train or lollygagging. Do not go there, only the Only the craziest go in this city where death awaits them with open arms.

''Straight outta Canterlot, crazy motherfucker named Spike Drake!'' Spike is really a phoneme. Spike wore a brown trench coat with a hat and sunglasses to hide his true nature, and he looks badass in it. Everybody laughs at him when they see him arrive, but he does not care.

''Why everypony laughs, there's a fun movie at the theater?'' He went to Donut Joe's, he sat down, and a waitress came for him.

''Hi love, can I take your order please.'' Spike looked at the menu and said to the waitress.

''Yes, you tonight at 7 pm here for a rendezvous.'' The waitress looked at Spike then she took his order.

'' A mountain of donuts.'' She went into the kitchens, and Spike was alone.

''Hello Spike.'' Spike looked in front of him, and he saw an old friend.

''Oh no, not again Elder.''

''I see that you have alway good taste for the women Spike but tell me, you don't look happy to see me, what's wrong my boy.'' Elder: imaginary friend of Spike,and consciousness.

''I speak to my imaginary friend that I know since my four, and everyone thinks me crazy because of you so yes, I'm not very happy to see you Elder.'' Elder is an old bearded man with long gray and black hair. He's the imaginary friend of Spike since his four, and he is too present in the life of Spike since Canterlot.

''You're not crazy Spike, and you're not a villain.''

''Here we go again! You're not a villain Spike. You're the hero of your own story, and spirits are coming for your soul, and look at me! I'm an old man with a big ass beard like Starswirl the motherfucking bearded. I already know this Elder...Elder?'' Elder had disappeared, and the door opened, it was Fallout without any disguise or makeup. He looked everywhere to see Spike, but all he saw was customers and a weird guy.

''Fallout, it's me...Spike.'' Fallout ignores his friend whose Spike removed his hats and sunglasses.

''Spike? What is this ridiculous costume?'' He sat down with Spike.

''Hey, don't criticize my disguise, and we're wanted all over Equestria so excuse me if I care for my life.''

''Drama queen.''

''No, I'm not anyway, you now why we are here Fallout, my dear?'' Spike asked.

''No.''The waitress put the donuts on the table.

''We are here to eat donuts!''

''Really? Spike, you disappoint me.''

''Even the villains must (munch) eat and ... oh damn.'' A group of girls came in, they sat next to the jukebox, and one of them went to the counter.

''Mamma Mia, she's beautiful. I think I'm in love Fallout...Fallout?'' Fallout fell under the spell of the girls in pink.

''Are you ok, dude?''

''I love her.'' Crystal clear

''You have no chance with her.''

''No, you're the one who has no chance with her, asshole!''

''You wanna bet.'' Fallout placed 5 bits on the table.

''Let's go, mister my ego is bigger than an elephant.''

''Watch, and learn kiddo.'' Spike stood beside her without his hat, and she recognized him.

''I know you? Oh, sweet Celestia! You're Spike Drake, the most wanted criminal in Equestria.'' Ego increased.

''Oh no, you saw my face! I think I'll have to pay you a restaurant to you and your pink friend.'' She smiled, and she whispered something in his ear.

''Fine, but only if I can bring my friend, and after that, we could all have fun together. Let's say 8 p.m at the barn'' She took her drink and joined her friends. Spike was motionless then he took fallout by the arm, and they went outside.

''Hey, what's wrong Spike !?''

''You see the five girls sitting next to the jukebox.'' Fallout looked through the window, and he saw them.

''Yes, and?''

''We have a rendezvous with them! THE FIVE FALLOUT! FALLOUT 5!''

''Wait... And the girl I love will be there?''

''YES MY FRIEND !!!'' they looked through the window, and they saw the girls greeted them.

''OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH !!!'' Spike and Fallout were hopping like rabbits, and the girls have raised their glass to their victory.

7:45 pm

Spike and fallout were preparing for their little romantic evening with the girls of their dreams.

''You owe me 5 bits Fallout.''

''And you owe me my old life.''

''You still think of Canterlot? I said I was sorry.'' Fallout adjusted the bow tie of Spike.

''Sorry not not, we're banned from this place forever.''

''Banned is a great word, now let's go.''

‘’You think she will say yes if I ask her in marriage ?’’ Spike looked at fallout and gave him a raised thumb.


8 p.m

Spike and Fallout were in front of the barn with big smiles on their faces.

''Ah ... What do we do now Spike?''

''I have no idea.'' They waited in the cold, and then a woman took them in her arms.

''How are my two favorite boys?'' She kissed them on the cheeks.

''Let's darling, let them breathe, for now.'' She flew back to join her friends.

''Sorry partner, we're late.''

''Wonderful! do not worry but tell me, where is your friend with the yellow wings miss?''
They smiled at his question.

''She got sick just after we met, probably because of the alcohol. But you do not know our names? What rudeness on our part, I present myself, My name is Rarity, and here are my friends.'' Beauty but she killed the beast

''Rainbow Dash.''

''Yo.'' Hot fuse, master of the katana.

''Pinkie Pie.''

''Party time.'' Fallout's crush, loves party.

''And finally, Applejack.''

''N'ce to meet ya partner.'' Cowgirl assassin, fearless and fatal.

''And my friend is called Fluttershy, and we are the Mane 5.'' Spike and fallout were paralyzed by fear because in front of them was the most feared bounty group of all Equestria.

''Basically, run.''

"AW FUCK!'' They entered the barn and they closed it.


''the Door?'' Pinkie asked.

''The door.'' Rarity replied.

''Call me Johnny.''

Meanwhile in the barn.

''You sure we're safe Spike?'' Fallout asked.

''Trust me, everything is under control.'' The door exploded behind them, Propelling them out of the barn.

''Go on now, go, walk out the door...Well, not this door because I exploded it aha ha ha ha ah...Hello, there's someone here?'' The girls entered, and they noticed the holes in the wall that matched the silhouette of the boys.

''Girls, The hunt began.'' black screen then back to Spike and Fallout.

''And that's how I met your mother, ah I mean is that's how it all started. No, excuse me but I must find a way to survive this shit.''

''Any last words.'' Rarity asked.

''I regret everything.''

''I regret nothing.''

''I think I'll die of laughter.'' Applejack kicked her behind her head.

''It hurts.'' She put her hand on her mouth.

''Silence...I hear some noise.''

''Me too.''

''Me too.''

''Shutup!'' Poor Fallout

''Wait, did you bring dogs with you?'' Everypony looked at him.


''Then why I hear grunts oh nuts!'' Monsters came out of the bushes and surrounded the Mane 5.

''Are you ready to kick some monsters ass girls!''

'' I bet mah hat I that I kill more than you.''

''Going down! party time! My friends are gonna be there too!'

''You obviously do not know who you are fucking with!''

''We must help them, Spike...Spike?'' Spike was no longer next to Fallout. He runs away leaving the girls and Fallout with the monsters. After several meters, he took his breath by leaning against a tree.

''What are you doing Spike!'' Elder asked.

''I catch my breath because I ran to escape the monsters why?''

''By leaving your friend and these girls alone against bloodthirsty monsters! You disappoint me, Spike Drake!'' Because of the last words, Spike was now pissed off.

''OH no! I disappointed my imaginary friend, and you know what? I don't give a shit so if you are you disappointed. You take a ticket, and you go with the others! Say hi to her from me Gandalf!'' Elder is now pissed off.


''Okay, Okay! Fucking spirit!'' Spike Spike left Elder alone.

''I can't believe this asshole has friends.'' Elders disappeared in smoke.

''I believe it's the end.'' The monsters circled them.

''I think so.''

''I'm too cool to die young.''

''A bigger feast awaits us friends.''

''I hate you, Spike Drake!'' The leader of the monsters approached Fallout, he unfurled his claws and, he was going to kill him, but someone talked to him.

''Hey! YOU HAVE A CIGARETTE!'' They all looked at him.

''Well HERE THE FIRE!!!'' He burned all the monsters with his green flames. We can hear cries of pain in all the forest. He even separated fallout from the girls.

''Fallout! Bring your ass back here!'' Fallout brought his ass back to Spike but before, he looked a the love of his life for the last time, and Spike looked at the others who looked at him with dead eyes.

''Next time boys!'' They disappeared in the forest with a bitter defeat.

''You came back.''

''Yep, we say what?'' Spike asked.

''Thank you for leaving me alone.'' Fallout replied.

''You're welcome.''

''What! No I...anyway, What do we do now?''




Meanwhile in a tavern

Everybody singing, laughing and drinking, and sitting at the bottom, there's a group of dragons adventurers having finished their ultimate quest.

''I raise my glass for the kingdom!''Dragonius: Natural born leader, bleed red, white, and blue.

''I can't believe it! We have slain the dark one!'' White Scale: Jester of the group, and brain.

''So Dragonius, What do you do after that?'' White wing: Beautiful, and deadly.

''I don't know? maybe you can help me to find?'' Someone Laughs

''Dragonius? Ah, you really have no taste for men! Draca: big jerk, little heart.

''Fuck off Dracal!''

''No White, he's right.'' Scale said.

''You see, thank you Scale.''

''He's already taken, and by him.'' Everybody laughed.

''You little Shit!'' He took a stick hit on his hand.

''Enough!'' Dragonius rose from his chair.

''You're back Eberron!'' Eberron: Age unknow, powerful sorcerer.

''Yes but, we have no time to speak with you.''

''Why? We have slain the dark one, and.''Eberron interrupted him.

''I said we had no time to speak, let's go.''

''What happens to you Eberron? You need to go to the toilet?'' Dracal asked with humor.


''Shut up Dracal! Eberron, what's wrong?'' Everybody looked at the sorcerer.

''The King wants to speak to you, and it's extremely urgent, so finish your drinks, we go immediately to the castle where you have an appointment with your sovereign Golden Fang.''

Author's Note:

Big thank to Falloutdude and SuperGodzilla2030 for their OC.
Inspired by suicide squad for the presentation of the characters
Picture by SunnyQ DeviantArt.
Two color set = The character talking together.