• Published 6th Jun 2017
  • 1,398 Views, 108 Comments

Wanted: Dead or Alive - spike the lone wanderer

Spike and fallout are the most wanted criminals of esquestria,and they pursued by the mane 5, a group of bounty hunters feared by all. Will they save their lives or will they die while trying.

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Dragonius and his friends Were in the throne room, but there was no king.

''Great! There is no one to welcome us! White, your father is still asleep in the toilet?'' White drew her blade and put it on Dracal's throat.

''Come on Dracal, made my day!'' Someone applauded.

''My little dragon is now a big dragon.'' Golden Fang: King of Dragon, Practically immortal, and sugar daddy.

''Father!'' She knelt before my father, followed by the others.

''Arise my little dragon, your journey went well?'' Golden asked his daughter.

''Yes father! I killed a lot of villains in your name.'' White replied.

''I'm so proud of you.'' The father and daughter laughed together, and Scale looked at Dragonius.

''I'm also proud of you.''

''My king, Forgive me for interrupting your...Charming reunion, but why did you bring us here?''
Golden was surprised by the question of Dragonius.

''what do you mean? Eberron didn't tell you anything?'' Golden asked.

''No, my King. I think it would be better if you explain it.'' He sighed.

''Fine, do you know the name of Gaulder, the mythical king?'' No one react to this name.

''I'm not surprised. Gaulder was the king of a civilization now lost. I'll be very brief, Gaulder had a staff so powerful, that he was able to bring the dead back to life. I want it. Bring it back to me, and you would be listed in the legend forever! So, Find it for your king! Everybody was shocked by his story.

''Yes, my Lord.'' Eberron said.

''Good, now get out! I want to be alone with you Eberron'' They were all assembled before the gate of the castle.

''What a beautiful liar!''

'' What's your problem Dracal!''

''He lied to us, it was supposed to be our last mission! But no, now one must find a staff so that he can reign over the ponies. If you want my opinion, our King is a liar.'' Dragonius has had enough of Dracal.

'' DRACAL!!! SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR HEAD!!!'' He was going to kill him, but Eberron stopped his sword with his staff.

''Stop your childishness! We're going to Equestria.'' White wing seems annoyed at the mention of this Kingdom.

''Wait, Why do we go to there!?''

''To steal a map that will take us to the forest of Brocéliande, where the kingdom lies.'' Dracal was tired of this shit.

''It's a joke Eberron, why the king wants us to steal a map in another kingdom.''

''There's a long time during the war, the princess humiliated our king by forcing her to say all these little secrets concerning the kingdom, after that she chained her like a beast. Today he wants to take revenge on her stealing a map that is surely extremely secure. Help you King Dracal.'' Dracal lowered his head


Meanwhile at Joe diner.

''I can't believe it! They have escaped us! The Mane 5! The group of bounty hunters the most feared of all empire! She drank her coffee in a sip.

''Easy partner,we will have them next time.''

''And we will party!'' .

''And I will kill them!''

''Hi girls.'' She sat with her friends.

''How you doing, Sugar?''

''I'm fine, thank for asking. So, you caught the boys?'' Rarity collapsed on the table in tears.

I think that's a no.

many coffees and pieces of cake later.

the girls started to fell asleep one by one except Rarity and Rainbow Dash.

'' We were so Close!'' Rarity was depressed.


''We will never see them again.'' Spike and fallout have entered in the restaurant.

''Spike, the next time you stay sit.'' Destiny has a strange sense of humor.

''These words will be written on my stone, WORTH IT!'' They sat down at the counter.

''Hello boys, as usual.'' Joe Asked.

''You know me.''

''I want a piece of cake with pink glaze on it, please.''

''Give me five minute.'' Joe went to the kitchen, leaving Spike and Fallout alone.

''Nothing is more important than a good meal with his best friend Especially when it is he who pays.''

''Ok.'' Joe came with their food.

''Here's your steak and your cake, bonne appetite.'' Fallout looked at his cake without even touching it.

''What's wrong Fallout?''

''I'm sad, I wish Pinkie was here.''

''Oh god, that's soo sad.''

''Asshole!'' There was elder next to Spike.

''Elder, why you're not eating?''

''I'm a spirit, I don't eat food.''

''That's sooo great!''

''Spike, you are not very nice to us.''

''I don't care! Those girls were weak against me!''

''Shut up!'' Spike turned to see the girl who was talking to her.

''No,you shut upppp of fuck.'' There were the Mane 5 behind them all this time.

''Karma Spike, karma.'' They looked at each other for a while then Rainbow drew his Katana and Rarity awoke the girls.

''Fuck!'' Fallout threw his cakes on Rarity and Spike are steak his Applejack then they are going to the door but Pinkie to throw a crystal spear next to Fallout's Head.

''You annoy me with a capital A!''

''Spike, I hope you have a plan and a good one.'' Spike smiles at him.

''The girls, I beseech you, have pity on us and spare us ... Or just me.'' Spike was kneeling in front of the girls.

''Fuck Spike! You're the worst friend in the world!''

''Sniff, sorry not sorry.''

''Enough! I'm sick of your whining! Now you die!'' Rainbow loaded her blade with electricity for a final slash. Her finish move.

''Game over!'' Rainbow advance towards the boys who was terrorizing.

''Spike does something!'' Spike did not know what to say.

''Wait, I have money, a lot of money and it is yours if you spare us.'' She raised her katana in the air.

''Sorry Fallout, I have no choice.''

''What! No!''

''I appeal to the article number 6-4-1 of the law of Equestria paragraph 1000.'' Too late.

''Rainbow stop!'' The blade stopped at the top of Spike's Head.


''Let's go out and talk.'' They went out, leaving Joe with a damaged restaurant.

''Thank Celestia.''

''I'm listening.''

''As I say, I appeal to the article number 6-4-1 of the law of Equestria paragraph 1000.''

''I know! But why would I accept, I could kill you now and let your corpse rot to make fertilizer.''

'' I like this idea sugar.'' Applejack lit a cigarette and sent the smoke to them.

''You must accept refuse because this would be considered a breach of Article 6-4-2 of the law.''

''Yes, but who will be aware of your deaths.'' Spike stood before them with a knife pointed at his own heart.

''Ok Rarity, kill me but if you do, this will be the end of your life because I am more important than you and your friends! Fallout and I are the servants of a demonic entity that is capable of destroying your precious Kingdom with his thumb! Kill us and spread chaos in the hearts of people. Do not worry, There will always be peoples to take my place, but you, I do not think so. So kill me with this fucking knife!'' Rarity took the knife and put it on Spike's throat. She looked him straight in the eyes and then threw him to the floor.

''My knife!''

''I knew it.'' Rarity stifled in her anger.


''Yes sir!'' She greeted her with a helmet on her head.

''Tie me their hands and make them walk before us! We go to Canterlot!''


''I agree with her, we're a bounty hunter, not a babysitter for a failed criminal.''

''This is not the issue, We'll take them with you whether you like it or not! I am the leader of this group or not! You obey me even if it disgusts you.''' They crashed in front of her.

''Yes sir.''

''Yes sir.''

''Good, Now I warn you, if any of you try to escape during the ride, I cut off his masculine attribute. Understood.'' Spike smiled.

'' Relax, you can trust us after all, we are irresistible.''

''Enough talk! Go ahead, we follow you very closely.'' Applejack said.

''Spike, what was that? What is this shit with this evil force and all the other villain stuff?'' Fallout asked.

''I told you I had a plan, you owe me a steak for the trouble.''

''And from which thou knowest the laws?''

''I do not know them, I just said a sentence that I read in a book of my sist... In a book of a person, I thought I knew.'' Fallout started hating Spike.

''How I made to land with a guy like you?'' Fallout asked.

''The same.'' Elder said.

''I have already told you, I am irresistible.''

''Hey Fluttershy?''

''Yes Rainbow.''

''What is Article 6-4-1?'' Fun fact 44, Rainbow Dash never really liked reading and laws, the only books she read are the adventures of Daring Doo.

'' It's a request to go before the princess to be tried for the crimes that a person commits in his life, and Article 6-4-2 makes Article 6-4-1 mandatory, I read them in the book of Twilight on the penal system of the kingdom. I fell asleep right after.''


''You are lucky, the princess always forgives the wicked person who passes before her in court and afterward, we party! '' Spike and Fallout were inexpressive, Fallout turned his head gently towards Spike and, he said soft words to him.

''Spike, I swear to Luna that you'll regret all your fucking life because I'm going to hurt you so bad! You will suffer and, I will love it! And will give you the reason why you are going to suffer, it's because you are irresistible!'' Spike wept all the tears of his body because he knew that at the end of the journey, he was going to know a fate worse than death.

In the depths of o the mountain

Two men walking in a dark and damp corridor, the face hidden behind an enchanted hood.

''Masters, you're sure it's here?'' He asked.

''Yes, I feel the presence of these insects.''

''I hope it's worth the cost because, for me, those insects are only good at one thing, get crushed. ''

They continue to walk and finally arrive in a sort of throne room.

''There is the throne but no queen.''

''Where is she?'' He does not see the queen descending like a spider behind them.

''I'm here!'' In less than a second, they were surrounded by a hundred changeling.

''Who are you and what do you want?'' Chrysalis asked the two men.

''We want your army.'' The queen began to laugh.

''AHAHAHA!!! You come here to ask me to give you my arm? You have guts, too bad I must kill you for discovering my den, KILL THEM!''

''Have fun.'' The changeling were all killed in less than a second by the man with the swords.

''HOW DARE YOU KILL MY SOLDIERS!!!'' The second stood before her.

''Enough.'' He put his hand on the Queen's heart and his sucked her life and in the end, there remained only an empty shell. The remaining changeling stopped, they were asleep.

''She's dead?''

''No, look.'' Chrysalis's body moved violently then she began to vomit blood that went into the bodies of the changelings. She came back to life.

''What have you done to me?'' Chrysalis Asked.

''I gave you a chance to take revenge on the people who turned you into a monster! You have in you a power that surpasses you in every way, join us to serve the true master of Equestria and you can at last walk freely in the new world of our Lord Ba'alzamon! And who knows, you could become the Queen of this new world. Choose your camp Queen Chrysalis.'' Chrysalis was silent then she looked at her new friend.

''All Hail Ba'alzamon!''

Author's Note:

All Hail Hydra, I mean Magnus no Britannia of fuck.
I fucking hate rewriting.