This Story is Like a Runaway Train
I believe that after existing for longer than any mortal being has any right to exist, my mind has changed since being in my former mistress’ employ. I believe that any sane mortal would be wondering where they were being taken in my position, or thinking of ways to escape… or studying the unicorns to try and figure out their magic… I do none of these things as my thoughts are… off.
‘...hehe, snort… I feel so high right now…’ I think with a dopey grin on my muzzle before blinking in confusion. ‘Why is a horse’s ffffface called a muzzle?’ I turn to one of the unicorns to my right with curiosity, and start to frown when the stallion doesn’t answer my question.
‘Answer me!’ I think, glaring at the green stallion in golden armor. The stallion seems to ignore my righteous glare of indignation and continues walking. I sniff and turn my nose up showing the stallion just how much his coy act offends me before my attention is grabbed by the walls.
The shifting… shimmering… rainbow walls…
‘Thaaaaaaat’s new…’ I think. Shaking my head and blinking away the spots seems to only make it worse and when I can feel my hooves shake under me I decide that enough is enough. I stop following the now shimmering unicorns and park my plot on the floor… or is it the ceiling?
“Come on you crossbreed,” I hear someone say before something yanks me forward. I fall like a ragdoll on my side and stare up at the arching walls. I can hear something coming closer and snort in amusement when a frowning green snake enters my field of vision.
“Her eyes are turning yellow and red,” the snake says with her forked tongue.
“...Drag her along,” another voice replies after a moment of silence. “I doubt anypony will protest much if this thing gets a little roughed up before meeting the king.”
I slowly blink, wondering why I am being dragged across the roughest carpet I have ever felt and befuddled as to why it smells like peaches and wet cow.
‘...Are we there yet?’ I ask the air in the curved hall several moments later.
BANG
‘...Are we there yet?’
“All rise for King Bullion, head of the Platinum house!” a strained baritone voice calls out. I’m jerked up into a sitting position in front of a table in a spinning black and yellow room. Everything in the room appears to be swimming along to some strange tune… everything but a large brown unicorn with a full blonde mane and tail who is staring at me with wide eyes.
Not one to back down from a challenge, I immediately lock eyes with the stallion and silently accept the demand for satisfaction in the time honored tradition of the staring contest.
I could see beads of sweat traveling down the unicorn’s coat as our battle for dominance starts to heat up. The stallion has the high ground, but my determination is powered by the solar mig-
“What is your name?” the stallion asks.
I blink.
‘Damnit!’ I swear silently.
With a heavy sigh I bring my forehooves up and clap twice. The unicorn jerks back as the spinning room is bathed in black light making the room seem like a negative photo. The unicorn’s head twists back and forth as he takes in the scene and I stretch my mismatched limbs getting the cricks and kinks out of them. Scratching my white hair with my talon, I pause when I feel two horns coming out of my head instead of one. My horns seem to be positioned symmetrically, but one seems to be a straight unicorn horn while the other is… distorted for lack of a better term.
“What did you do?”
I look at the unicorn and heave a heavy sigh. “I get it,” I tell the stallion in a bored voice and start drumming my talon digits on the table I am sitting at. “You win, I lose, yada yada and all that,” I continue before climbing to my mismatched feet. “If you won’t listen to a ‘half breed,’ then maybe you’ll listen to a chi-”
“Stay where you are, creature.” I freeze before giving the unicorn an unamused look.
“You have caught and defeated me in a test of wills, I’m guessing you want the usual fanfare for such an accomplishment,” I guess before picking up a quill and parchment from the table in my magic and trotting over to one of the walls on four hooves. I start writing out the basics before I realize I have no idea what language I am writing in.
“What are you talking about? And how are you walking on that wall?” I blink and look up at the now sideways stallion on the ceiling.
I sigh once again and close my eyes for a moment before looking at the stallion again over the glasses I’m now wearing. “You know the usual fanfare for this type of thing, you get three wishes which you can use anytime throughout your life in which you can call upon me for a favor. I will fulfill your wishes and in return you never speak of the time you bested me in a test of wills and you release me.”
“...And why should I agree to this?” King Bullion asks with a glare.
I give the stallion a deadpan look, “You’re kidding, right?” The stallion opens his mouth again but I beat him to it. “A reality warping individual gives you a deal to grant three wishes and you ask why you should take it?” I give Bullion a glare that bores into his very soul. “I’ll give you one good reason: this is the most that I am willing to do for you, if you don’t take my offer then I will simply erase you from existence and deal with the consequences.” My magic flares at the end of my ultimatum and judging by how the unicorn jerks back in surprise I believe he gets the message. “Now then,” I hold out a completed contract in my tiger paw to the stallion. “Do we have a deal?”
King Bullion stares at the contract before hesitantly taking it in his magic along with the quill from before. Time passes as he reads over the parchment before finally signing the bottom of the document along the dotted line. I snap my talons and the contract blinks out of existence, a grin plastered across my face, “A pleasure doing business with you, Bullion.” The shackles around my neck fall away as the contract takes effect. Flexing my mismatched wings, I look up and see the top of the room fade away to reveal the sky above, and a moment later I’m gone.
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love the story so far but I can't judge it till you have more chapters.
So with Optimism I wait for the next chapter.
all these chapters still feel like the first chapter so still can't form an opinion of the story if that makes any sense? i like reading it so thats a good sign i suppose
8292139
yup
When things really kick up? also She's also Faust? and they mistreated their god.. what jerks
This makes sense
I love your madness
Make her meet tirek
8292680
I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or if I messed this chapter up so much it actually made sense to someone...
8293137
You didn't mess things up, just irl I am a messed up person and some of those things made sense.
P.S I don't do drugs or anything illegal I just am that 1/1000 person that isn't quite right.
Soo if anything I complemented you :D
Aw shit, this is what I'm talking about. Love me a good, well written Eris fic.
Love it so far, Continue.
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/097/722/b8c.gif
... I have a complete understanding of what's going on. I'm not sure if that's supposed to happen.
I'm lost
Whaaa? Someone who actually reads the fine prints? on a more serious note, I'm not entirely sure how we got her, the jump between confused, high, and insane, to in control, powerful, and witty is completely lost to me, I'm assuming this is explained later, but I am very much confused.
P.S. I know I'm late.
Uuuuh. How did we go from Fausticorn in a cell, to high Fausticorn, to unlimited power?
My dog, this is bad.
Horrendously bad. Not only things have no logic of reason behind them, events are skipped and nothing makes sense.
I’m confused
Did she just turn evil?!