I am in pain.
…
No, pain doesn’t even begin to describe what I am feeling right now. I am more like a mass of agony in the shape of a dragon. I can feel death closing in on me as my body trembles and tears start running down my scaled face. I can hear someone speaking faintly, but I can’t make out the words.
I hate it. I hate this familiar feeling. I hate the bastard that is doing this. I hate that he has proven her right.
My lips twitch upward as a jolt of agony lancing through me makes me flinch, sending another jolt of agony through me.
I hate my mind that is starting to slip. I hate the giggle that passes my lips. I hate the song I hear her singing. I hate myself as I climb to my claws. I hate my laughter tainted by madness.
I hate that my mistress was right. I hate that I will never escape the past.
…
I might hate her, but I will always belong to her.
The voice is talking again, it sounds amused… The owner of the voice comes into view, and I hate the smug smile on the chimera’s face.
My vision tunnels as my grin threatens to split my face. I hate the bastard… but I am going to love hearing him scream.
I lunge forward with my arms outstretched and grab something before slamming it to the ground. Opening my eyes I find… something struggling in my grip. It looks similar to the unicorns from before, but without the horn… Its coat of fur is also stripped.
‘A pony zebra?’ I think through the haze shrouding my mind. I can feel that something is wrong with me, I feel so cold that it burns when the scales covering my body come into contact with the Zebra’s fur.
I can’t think straight, I can feel myself shaking, and my body feels like lead. I shove the zebra away and stumble to my claws. I can hear the zebra get to its hooves as I start running.
I feel lightheaded after taking two steps but I keep myself running for a while. I don’t know how much time passes, but the uneven ground eventually brings me down when my right leg drops into one of the small holes dotting the plains. Pain shoots through the limb as it tries to bend in a way it is not supposed to and I just collapse.
Rolling onto my back I clutch my leg and stomach. My vision is blurring and my stomach is cramping up painfully.
Adding the signs together I mentally kick myself for not realizing this was coming. I am on a completely new world in a new body. I’ve contracted something, and with my body being new it stands to reason any foreign disease the plants and animals have I will be vulnerable to.
“...What the fuck,” I mutter to myself.
My vision eventually clears and the haze in my mind lifts slightly, but I can’t bring myself to stand up. I feel like I am forgetting something, and it is only when a translucent face appears in front of me that I realize what it is.
“...Smooth Eris,” I start in a bitter tone, “you left your charge behind.”
Something is coming up behind me and tilting my head back slightly I see the zebra from before standing there. We kind of just stare at each other for a while before she lifts one of her hooves and blows a powder in my face. I gag and cough for a bit before my strength leaves me and I slip into slumber once more.
I am sitting at a desk drawing something with a pen on a piece of paper. A wax candle is illuminating the desk and my work. I can’t tell what I am drawing, the lines moving around on the paper too much for me to identify it. It is a slow process with my striped hoof adding a line only so often. The image must be perfect or else… My hoof pauses above the paper.
‘Or else what?’ I ask before laying the pen down and twirling the swivel chair around.
Many drawings are floating in the aether, each one depicting a different individual.
A griffin is staring at me with cold indifference, his talons tapping against the table he is sitting at in boredom. A name is written out above his head.
‘Horus’
The next drawing is curious as it seems to be depicting a bipedal dog. A concerned look is on his face as he sits on a throne. Another name is floating above his head.
‘Clifford’
The following drawing depicts a muzzled cross between a man and a bull glaring down at me in loathing as he strains against chains clasped to his limbs.
‘Minos’
A decaying skeleton is shown in the next drawing. The skull frozen in a humorless grin and a hunger found deep in its eyes. The drawing keeps changing from one form to another, none of them more than bones.
‘Death’
A drawing of what I can only describe as a dragon stares back at me with a cocky grin on its face, a perfectly spherical stone spinning on one of its claws.
‘Bonetail’
A striped equine individual is looking at me with concern in the next drawing. There is something about the way she holds herself that makes me smile, but I can’t quite put my hoof on it.
‘Gaia’
I smile sadly at the moving drawings. They are all gaining quite a bit of color and I know that it won’t be long before they leave. Turning back to my current drawing I find myself… hesitant. I can already feel that this one is similar to the others in a way, but there is also a difference that sets it apart from the others. I glance up at the name briefly before putting my pen to the paper and adding another feather.
‘Nyx’
I frown feeling as if I am forgetting someone and lift the pen from the paper. I can feel that she is different from the others… Perhaps… she would like company?
A new paper appears alongside Nyx, and after a second of thought inspiration strikes. Across the top of the paper a name appears.
‘Aurora’
I smile and start back to work with Nyx before opening my mouth, “Well what do you know, you’re getting a little sister, Nyx.”
I'm liking this story well enough, it's a bit confusing yes but I know that's because your trying to convey her sense of confusion about her situation. Otherwise your writing is good.
I am definitely interested. Slightly confused in spots, but that should fade as you reveal more. And yeah, your writing is quite good.
Yay!... Just wish I had more chapters...
This a grand old story, filled with mystery and junk. Cool to think Eris is subconsciously using her powers to create new things.
i feel like this song works well with the story
While i don't always comment, i do try to comment on new chapters as often as i can. sometimes i just can't find the words to say, so trying to write a comment sometimes fails....
But nevertheless... this chapter makes me wonder what is happening to Eris and also a bit worried too
I'm just happy to see another chapter. Given what you've written this far, I would say Eris started building the world around her, bringing things to life. It's Equestria, but not as we know it... yet. I also hear a hint at an encounter with Discord, perhaps?
Truly, Eris knows how to find herself some trouble.
the story as a whole was realy.. "liquid" in a sense. shapeless or formless and now its solidifying and we get more information about whats going on, I can tell this is more or less intentional though and my interest is piqued.
Would comment spam be an acceptable substitute to get you your motivation for another chapter?
+1 Like
Not commenting because I'm not really sure what to say. Nothing really "profound" has occurred in the story's course in the last couple chapters that wasn't also fairly obvious to really warrant speculation, and I originally hail from FF.net, so I have a distaste for leaving comments that amount to little more than "Nice Story, wite moar nao!" with nothing constructive to add... Despite the "liquid" (as another comment put it) nature of the narrative so far things do seem to be coming together...
commencing commenting.
...testing, testing 1 2 3
Well, I don't always comment on what I'm reading. Just download and read.
Regarding overall fell of this story - I like it. As was already mentioned before, this story is somewhat shapeless and skitters all around the place. It's new, at least.
And idea of the story has potential, so, don't quit.
8433706
than you d I think the game is okay for what it has out
It's actually rather nice getting lost in a story like this, along for the ride, flowing with the wind. I have no clue at all what's in this universe, but I'm learning at a slow pace reserved for observers. I'm really enjoying the style, setting, and relatively slow world building, and yes, I'm late to the party, but keep it up!
This story is strange, but not in a bad way.