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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Eh... could use a bit of work.
You could place the explanation of what kinda dwarf Orgnar is in an authors note
Yes, this is the best displaced i have ever seen.
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha!!! I love it already!! The way he dealt with it!! All of it!!! Ooohhhhhooohohohoohoh!! This is gonna be fun!!!
NOW THAT'S THE DWARVEN WAY!!!!! Me friend, you now have my complete attention due to breathing life into one of my absolute favorite races and doing it right! I can't wait to see what you got for me.
It may be the dwarves way, but it’s too meta and the main character sounds too op. Sorry but I couldn’t get past the prologue. I know how it’ll be just from the Stu-ness this character is already oozing
8158987
2nd for me, first is form another story where the main char goes on a rant about how he hates displacement only at the end to turn around and ask which version of equss himself and two other will be going to
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2nd here too,though I just finished the first chapter...still...first OC I read was The Muscle Wizard....funny as hell.wish it would update.
After reading this prologue, you need to go back and give your OC some actual flaws. As it is he's the very definition of a Gary Stu.
Yes. Many, many, yes.
Classic dwarf response.
It's because they hold tradition extremely close to heart. That's basic in dungeons and dragons lore, because it's a big deal in Tolkien's work as well.
The whole telluric magic was okay to look past, even though dwarves are often depicted as being magically resilient rather than adept, but the immortality bit was pretty bad.
Okay, now you're threading on thin ice. There's this thing called a Mary Sue, you ever heard of it?
Mm. Im Very intrigued.
I have many things to say about this story. One of them is best said by Ogran himself. (please tell me if I managed to get close to his character)
"What are you idiots talking about? This is meant be a comedy you twits. Get the polearm out your collective asses and just get some enjoyment.