Snails trotted happily down the street, head held high as he looked at the tower ahead. The spire was located in a corner of Canterlot Castle that was home to Royal Guard Cadet barracks, and a small parade ground.
Stopping in front of the door, Snails took a deep breath. Most of the guards were male, so this was the perfect chance for him simply to be a colt, a chance for him to have fun and not have to worry about magic lessons. A chance for him to-
“So, you’re the one?” Snails spun on the spot at the booming voice, coming to a rest at the hooves of a white unicorn stallion in golden armor, “The one Celestia submitted for training?”
Throwing a salute with his left foreleg, Snails smiled, “Yep!”
Rolling his eyes, the guard walked past Snails, heading inside, “Follow me.”
Snails trotted after the guard and looked around the tower. A smaller parade ground was inside, with a spiral staircase winding around the edge of the tower. He followed the guard up to the second floor, which was broken up into offices.
The stallion walked down a hall and entered a small room with a pair of filing cabinets and a large desk in the center with a high-backed chair. Circling the room, he climbed into the chair and opened a file, speaking calmly, “Snailsquirm.”
“Yes, sir?” Snails tilted his head with a dopey grin.
“You don’t really want to be here, do you?” The unicorn asked, leaning back in his chair.
“No, sir, ” Snails said, then sputtered, “I mean yes, sir, I mean-”
Chuckling, the guard shook his head, “You’d rather be lounging around, reading comics, maybe playing with your friends, or simply just enjoying the summer.”
Snails blinked and sighed with a smile, “That would so be great.”
“Personally though, I really hate slackers,” The guard said firmly.
Gulping, Snails looked down, “I- I don’t mean to be.”
“Being a guard is not something to joke about, it’s not putting on some disguise. It’s a badge of honor, a right that’s earned,” The guard stated.
Looking down, Snails felt himself begin to tremble a bit in fear.
Opening a folder, the guard looked down then at Snails, “Relax, I don’t bite. Princess Celestia has given special instructions. Your father doesn’t like you using magic?”
“No, sir,” Snails said, looking down.
“It seems Celestia has decided you need a cover story- that you are training as a guard,” The stallion said, looking at Snails sternly.
Snails nodded, “It wasn’t my idea, sir.”
“I don’t care whose idea it was! I believe in honor and integrity! I believe that only those who deserve the uniform should wear it,” The stallion said proudly.
Backing up a step, Snails gulped, “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. We just need to make sure that, in the time we do have together, you are an actual, trained, cadet. I want to make sure that you deserve the uniform you will be wearing. That way, if your father asks, we won’t have to lie.”
Looking down at the sheet, the guard tilted his head, “The Princess has also ordered no water training with you, and no training in the rain. Susceptible to the cold.”
“Umm, yes, sir. I don’t turn out well when I’m cold and wet,” Snails said nervously.
“We can limit some of our training to indoors. First, however, we can get you your trainee uniform from Supply,” The stallion said, “So, let’s get you in your first true uniform.”
‘That doesn’t have a skirt,’ Snails thought with a grateful sigh.
The guard stood and left the office, heading upstairs again, this time to a large supply room with a pony standing behind a counter. Snails looked around the room at the rows of uniforms, weapons, and other gear.
The supply sergeant looked down at Snails, then nodded once, “Large, but thin.”
Turning, the sergeant began laying out items on the table- PT gear, work uniform, dress uniform, a saddle bag and pack, as well as other basic items he would need, “This equipment is all your responsibility. You will need to keep it clean and pressed.”
“Yes, sir,” Snails said with a quick nod.
The unicorn guard chuckled, “Try it on for fit.”
Picking up the dress uniform, Snails looked around, “Um, where’s the dressing room?”
The sergeant stood, blinking at the colt in confusion, shocked at his question, “Dressing… room?”
“Snails, we’re not fillies, there’s a mirror right there. Why don’t you try it on?” The guard asked, shaking his head and looking at the sergeant.
Snails looked at himself in the mirror, turning from side to side, “It fits.”
“Good, you look like a cadet, now you need to train like one. Training will begin Saturday mornings at 8 AM,” The guard said with a chuckle, “I expect you here in PT gear bright and early.”
Snails nodded, doing his best to stand at attention.
“Now, dismissed.”
Bounding out in joy, Snails stopped in the square and took a deep breath. It was still early, so he had more than enough time to have fun. There were so many things to do, he found it hard to choose.
He could go to one of Canterlot’s candy stores, ice cream shops, or even doughnut shops. There was Joe’s Doughnuts, that had to be a safe place- not like he could run into anyone important there. Or maybe he could go to the comic store, the city just had to have one.
Getting bumped from behind, Snails turned quickly, “Oh, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, it was my fault, I was just…” Looking up from her book, Galaxy blinked at Snails in his uniform her gaze slowly drifting from hoof to beret, and back, “Umm, hello there. I love the uniform.”
‘Oh nope, nope nope nopenope,’ Snails blinked and took a step back, ‘I don’t need this.”
“Is something wrong?” Galaxy asked, tilting her head.
“No, ma’am!” Snails turned and made a break for the park. Technically, it was the royal gardens, but it looked like a park, so that would have to do. Once inside, Snails slowed to a trot and looked around. He had never seen trees, flowers, or plants like this. They all looked so alien to him. Many of the animals he had seen at Fluttershy’s, but even then, they didn’t look common to the area.
There was a sloth hanging from a tree, resting, as well as some kind of giant bunny that was taller than Snails, with a huge, thick, tail. The pond had ducks, flamingos, and a pelican, but strangely no swans. Smaller animals could also be seen moving in the trees, though they all kept their distance.
“Wait up!” Galaxy called and trotted up beside Snails, “Wow, I’ve never been in the gardens before.”
“I… umm… me neither.” Snails said. Why can’t I be anywhere but here with her.
“So, are you training to be a guard?” Galaxy asked, leaning down to look at the ducks.
“Cadet summer course. I’d rather just be at home in the clubhouse, or playing sports.” Snails said, shaking his head, ‘or just about anywhere but here.’
Several rabbits and squirrels run out of a bush, heading for trees. The squirrels running to get up high as fast as they can, while the rabbits zig-zagged for a burrow. The disturbance has caused the ducks to take to the air, and even the giant rabbit has hopped off for cover.
Snails slowly turned to face the source of the disturbance. He looked at the bush, narrowing his eyes as branches start to move and rustle. With a soft gulp, Galaxy moved behind Snails for protection.
A pair of dark eyes shine out of the bush, narrowing as they fixate on the foals. A low growl began to fill the air, almost a snarl. “Wha- what is it?” Galaxy asked timidly.
Snails lit his horn, banishing the shadows and illuminating the area. A moment later, a black streak lunged out of the bushes at incredible speed. A blur of motion, the creature headed straight for the two foals. Whatever it was, the creature was fast, but not fast enough.
Even though it was a blur, Snails was able to easily project its path. Lowering his head a little, Snails shifted his magic and that was that- the creature was caught in Snails’ magical grasp only a few apples from Galaxy’s face. A small, blue-black, pig, with a polka-dotted red scraf around its neck, and behind one ear, a golden skull clip.
Wiggling its ears, it scowled at Snails, then started swing all four legs violently, trying to get at Galaxy. Galaxy hugged Snails happily, “My hero! I’m Galaxy, by the way.”
Turning, Galaxy started trotting off, “I’ve got some shopping to do for school. I hope to see you around again, if not, I know where to find you. Bye bye, my hero.”
Groaning, Snails turned his head to look at the scowling pig. “Gee, thanks, just what I needed. Now my life is even more complicated.”
The pig let out a nasty snort and took a swing at Snails with its foreleg, but it was just out of reach. It spun for a moment, before slowing to a stop, staring at Snails.
Turning, Snails started walking for the garden gate, “All because of you, I’ll have her showing up at my training. Why can’t I have a normal life?”
Dropping the pig in a large animal pen, Snails trotted away, heading towards Rarity’s boutique in Canterlot. ‘What else could go wrong?’
Rule number one, do not challenge Murphy.
Snails: "What Else could go wrong?"
Me: "Snails, you should have learned by now asking THAT question almost ALWAYS has very bad results, you silly soon to be filly"
So who’s the pig? My money will be on another one of the recruits for the Guard.
8669092
Must also be someone from around Ponyville, since the pools are in that area. And with a good reason to already hate Snails for some stupid imaginary offence.
8669127
So Diamond Tiara then? Wouldn’t she be better as the cat then that Snails has a sudden and unexplained fear of? Who wouldn’t like Snails as he seems to be somewhat in with all of the colts in his class.
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and all the colts in his class want an in with escargot.
Ok just.. ewwww... that sounds so bad.
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She doesn't wear bandanas or skull clips.
Also, in Ranma everyone forgot that Ryoga even existed since he was away for so long. So it's unlikely someone from the current Snails' class.
You just haaaaaad to ask.
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It's called tempting fate.
Orrrrr! Ryoga's sense of direction could hop universes?
ºûº
OBTW, hope everything is okay health-wise.
8669295
Considering how bad his sense of direction is I can see him getting so lost he ended up in another world.
Surgery for what?!
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i could see this happening
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mass on my kidney they want to remove it, they want to know if its a per-cancerous leason
a vary good chapter and i can see so many things changing in Snails life, guard training is going to be so good for Snails.
kitsy you know i am only a call away if you need to chat.
and you are in good hands tomorrow.
I'm glad to see another update after so long.
Also, I hope everything goes well with your surgery. I wish you the best.
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Eep! Here’s wishing you a speedy recovery!!
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8669334
And for some contrived (or stupid) reason he thinks that Galaxy is Ranma?
Maybe some running gag of him being terrible at telling colts from fillies.
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We are dealing with multiple universes, who's to say alternate universes aren't also in play?
Then again this could also have nothing at all to do with the story and it's just a really irate little pig with a scarf
Hope your surgery went well and they didn't find anything.
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If Equestria Girls were a thing, one step in a sand storm, turn a corner, trip through a mirror on a horse-statue's pedestal to stumble over his new wings into a closet full of filled mop buckets, leaping out, oinking, sliding down a soapy hall way only to bounce over a railing, through a window, landing on a plate, on a table at an outdoor restaurant in front of a griffon fastening his "piggy" bib.
Hey, it could happen... ºÖº
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To all concerned about Kitsy. I just got a message from her. She's out of surgery, and is on the road to recovery. She's in pain, but has good meds. The doctors are taking care of her. Just wanted to let everyone know!
8671942
Good meds and good doctors are a thing, good luck Kitsy.
Ok, the pig is an homage to Ryoga but is it somepony transformed by a spring? And I like the idea of snail having a love interest in the form of Galaxy, it will be funny to see that develops. Give Snail some love to reafirm is colt side!
But I since, oh I don't know, the last quarter of the second part, I feel like the curse didn’t try to mess with him enough. I know this is only an homage to Ranma 1/2 but it feels like the curse is not acting off like it should. It's chaos magic after all. Surprised Discord didn't poke is nose in Snail business to mess with him already.
I just read through the three part and I think you need to re-read it because there are small inconsistencies, like Twilight and Celestica suspicion of Escargot at the Pageant in part one. They both clearly knew he was cursed and tryed to pour hot water on her to expose her and suddenly Twilight and Spike forgot it as soon Celestica asked her to take Escargot as a student.
You also introduced Opal in a previous part but we have not heard of her yet.
Glad to see this back, Snails just gets in more trouble every time. Thanks for make me smirk,
what was diamond doing in the royal gardens
Looking forward to the next chapter.
if you would be so kind as to give us more
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I will, i've been down recently and still recovering from surgery and blood pressure problems. but i'm still writing. Also helping with other stories, too. Adding songs to herding instincts.
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nice ans i hope your better
Loved this chapter, and this story
This story is just so much fun!
Poor snails. Maybe he'll get lucky one of these days?
...... HEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHE.
Yeaaaaaaah, couldn't keep a straight face. Hope to see more of his story soon!
8988698
What will happen now?
9462856 i've started writing again, i'm about half done the next chapter :)