• Member Since 2nd Feb, 2015
  • offline last seen Jul 12th, 2022

optimusprime142


Active again!

Comments ( 18 )

This was a little rushed, but good none the less :pinkiesmile:

7711496 Thank you, Though I haven't perfected the art of lengthy stories yet.

Good start, but needs a bit of polish add some description to slow the pace down just a touch. Just as I was getting to enjoy the story it was over. :twilightblush:

7712843 I may end up revising it in the future, but for now- wait, you were actually enjoying it?

Yeah like I said its a good start just needs a bit of polish especially with the pacing. The go for a walk bam balcony. Continue walk bam bed room. Talk about their walk what did they talk about? Where did they walk hall ways garden throne room?was he seeking peaks was she. What did the halls sound like was it hot, cold. Details will slow the pace and make for a more engaging story. But good work so far.:pinkiehappy:

7711499
Don't worry. I haven't really either. That's why I haven't posted anything yet lol. You just gotta practice and maybe take some tips from other authors on how lol. Trust me, all authors start like this lol. Just try and space out your thoughts and put some stuff in-between lol. That's what I've been doing, and It does help!:twilightsheepish:
I hope this helps you! I wanna help anyone I can. Waiting for next chapter!:pinkiehappy:

7713606 its complete... but if you want I can make a sequel?

7713645 yes! I wanna read about a cute little baby prince\princess :pinkiehappy:
If you don't want to, that's fine! Whatever floats your boat :twilightsheepish:

There you go Luna's baby that could be a fun story especially having to explain To Celestia :rainbowlaugh:

7713913 if I do this, would you like to help?

7713931 mmm I am open to that mess!

7713967
Omg really!?:raritystarry: Yes! I would love to! I've got to get my tablet up and running, so that might be a few days at the most, but other than that, sure! This is gonna be sweet!:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

7714206 Yep! i could certainly use the help, so a few days time is worth it.

I'll offer a hoof too. Just hit me up when you have a rough draft.

7714568 sure, thanks for lending a good!

7714888 so, I gotta send you a pm

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