Chapter 2
Ceslestia's white coat was stained with dirt and covered in grass clipping, they were in her mane and tail too. All around her stood solemn group of nobility. She sat regally in the dirt, back straight with her usual warm and serene smile which could put anypony to ease, her eyes half-lidded and relaxed. She looked almost normal, if not for the complete gibberish she was sprouting.
"I must say, these cotten clouds you put in your tea taste wonderful" she said joyfully, referring to a pink slice of cake she'd strangely decided to dip into her tea. "your people are so diverse" she said smiling down happily at the strange yet delightfully colourful creatures.
The noble lord Knox, who was also covered in grass stains looked unsure for a moment "....yes well... so glad you could enjoy it your majesty" he finished with a bow.
'My how polite these creatures are' thought Celestia, it reminded her of the ponies back home, but here they were treating a foreign princess like she was their own. It was rather touching even though Celestia was used to and even sick of such behaviour directed towards herself, she still found these people endearing.
It was painfully obvious to all ponies present that Celestia was not in her right mind, of course nopony would actually acknowledge this fact. To do so would be to admit they all rolled around in the grass willingly, and quite frankly nopony wanted to admit that to themselves, so they just kept quiet and found that the ground was the most interesting thing in living memory, considering how much they stared at in shame.
A few of the braver or rather egotistical nobility had gathered round the hallucinating princess, and were having a polite chat about how cotton candy clouds being dipped in tea were one of the superior delicacies of 'their people' apparently. It was utterly ridiculous but nopony dared speak a word about it, later they would surely go on to forget the whole ordeal had ever happened and completely deny it's happening to both themselves and others.
Lord Knox was an old unicorn stallion of 83 years, he was a brown colt with a greyed mane, he'd been a Councillor for longer then he could remember, for the majority of his life. He'd seen his fair share of weird happenings, the golden regalia of the sun princess being stolen in the greatest theft ever beheld (the escape through the courtyard was legendary), noble gentlecolts duelling over fair maidens, royal scandals among the nobility and Faust forbid he manage to forget that Gala a few years back. But watching the princess take a bite of her tea soaked cake simply took the cake.
"I must inquire as to what this extraordinary festival is about, pardon my ignorance but what are your fair people celebrating, what do those floats up there symbolize" she asked, pointing a hood to the sky at the various intricately designed giant floats depicting elegant swans and colourful peacocks floating overhead.
Lord Knox followed her hoof and stared at the flock of birds circling above them, waiting for the garden party to end so they could gobble up the crumbs left lying around. 'Filthy scavengers' he thought, at a loss as to how to respond to the princesses question. It took him a few seconds to regain his composure.
".... Our founding?" he answered incredulously, deciding it would be best just go along with her madness for now.
"Oh fascinating, I'd love to hear about your history and culture, may I be so bold as to ask how your fair city came to be?" she asked, looking very attentive and curious, a warm smile plastered across her face.
Lord Knox couldn't take it any-more, "Princess Celestia... are you perfectly sure you are feeling all-right?" he said slowly, some exasperation in his voice showing, eyes bugging out as he leaned forward in an attempt to assess his princesses condition.
Celestia paused, confused as to what prompted the strange creature to inquire about her health, but she quickly relaxed and answered calmly "why, I am perfectly fine." Then she perked up and answered cheerfully "I feel great actually, thank you for asking". He sighed in thinly concealed frustration which the princess didn't seem to notice.
There were a few brief seconds of silence, then just as it began getting awkward Celestia spoke up, "how do you maintain the pools of chocolate" she asked pointing behind the mayor of knoxville at the vast glistening pools of chocolate milk that covered the land.
Lord Knox turned towards the small chocolate fountain brought in for the nights festivities, it was more decorative then anything as nopony would actually risk the mess of dipping their hooves in. "Oh that... I suppose that's pump operated" he answered, face brightening at the sign his princess was starting to return to normal. That hope was soon crushed.
"Fascinating, do you pump in the chocolate from a reservoir or is it made in factories?"
Lorn Know sighed and answered sarcastically "Yes, yes your highness, we pump the chocolate into the fountain from a reservoir out in the countryside, they happen to form naturally around here." She believed him.
"That's astounding!" she gasped in wonder, "I didn't know chocolate reservoirs formed naturally, why, this kind of thing would never happen where I come from". She paused, 'except maybe when Discord ruled...' she began to wonder if imprisoning him as such a good idea afterall.
Meanwhile Lord Knox sat with a bemused stare on his face, he was too old for this crap. Fortunately at that moment there was commotion to the side and The Lord took the opportunity to try and leave, backing out of the way.
Celestia heard it before she saw it, on moment she was having a nice discussion with the pleasant locals and then the ominous thundering started up above. The sky began to darken and the colourful creature creatures backed away in fear, she found the ordeal distressing. Over the castle walls she saw the cloud approaching, it looked like the nights sky had taken a physical incorporeal form as a gigantic Opaque cloud that began flowing freely as it poured over the castle walls.
The thundering got closer and Celestia stepped back in anticipation and anxious worry, something big was coming. Suddenly two massive hooves landed on-top the hundred foot high castle walls, and slowly, ominously rose a horn which crept slowly over the top. Following the massive obsidian horn was the head of a gigantic equine, it did not look happy. 'Wait..' Celestia recognised this giant mare, it was Luna!
Princess Luna had arrived, she stopped 3 meters in front of her frightened sister having sensed her distress. She turned her head towards her frightened sibling and said "Sister, art thou all-right?"
Celestia answered with a cry "L-Luna?"
The gigantic mare sneered down in resentment, "yes" it hissed venomously "we art thou dear sister". Sparkling blue mist flowed around her head, solidifying into the iconic blue armour of nightmare moon.
She grinned maniacally "The night shall last forever, and I shall put you down dear sister" the hatred in nightmare moons voice was almost tangible.
"no" breathed the sun princess, she wouldn't let nightmare moon destroy these kind creatures "I won't let you nightmare moon"
The nightmare laughed maliciously, "Celestia, you are foolish to think you could stand against me, now die!" The nighmare lunged forwards, her white fangs bared and glistening with a feral blood-lust.
"Yes, we art thou dear sister" she spoke softly. Moving her foreleg to brush her hair out of her face.
Luna looked her sibling in the eye, trying to calm her down and speaking softly, "Sister, the night draws on, thou should lay thyself down and rest until tomorrow dear sister"
"no" breathed the sun princess, looking uneasy but soon taking on a steely resolve, "I won't let you nightmare moon"
"Celestia, please stop this foolishness, go, lie thyself down and rest" She began stepping forward slowly, planning to embrace her sister and make everything alright.
She froze as Celestia horn was set alight in a blaze of golden glory, the winds began picking up around them from the sheer power the sun princess was putting into her spell during just a few seconds. "oh shi-" she couldn't even finish her thought as the blast of golden light hit her square in the chest and launched her into the air, through several tables and then finally careening end over end into a wall, Which she hit with a crack. The last thing she saw before losing conciousness was the cold floor coming up to her face. 'Why doth this always happen to me...'
Celestia had already galloped off in a panic before the guards could get to Luna, they charged up to her and panicked as to what to do. Screems rang out and soon the plaza was empted, all the nobility had ran off to save it's own skin.
"Oh Faust she's bleeding" bronze cried, beginning to hyperventilate "she going-"
"ALRIGHT!, alright calm down, it's only a broken nose, she's going to be fine" shouted Shining knight, grabbing his buddy and shaking him. They both took a few minutes breather. Truth be told the princess was quite battered, she had splints of wood embedded into her back for Fausts sake, but she was still breathing easily and wasn't bleeding too heavily, certainty looked survivable to shinning knight. Not so much for his skittish friend bronze shield however.
"what now..." he asked solemnly.
"I don't know.... but I do know we have to help princess Luna, that's our first priority right now", bronze nodded in agreement, he helped hoist the singed princess onto his comrades back before they set off to the infirmary.
Twilight Sparkle was once again buried deep into her books in the middle of the night, obsessing over some vague and particularly specialized field of quantum physics and how the recently proven Higgs field could be bent by magic particles. The Higgs Boson was her latest scientific obsession, ever since it had been discovered last week.
She heard the slow plodding of footsteps coming down the stairs signifying that spike had woken up, she turned to him bleary eyed, "what's wrong Spike?". He handed out a letter for her to grasp with magic then retreated back up the stairs.
Twilight quickly woke up fully at the prospect of a letter from her beloved mentor, sitting up straight she wiped the sleep from her eyes and smiling warmly, she unrolled the scroll. She stopped instantly as she realized something was wrong, this message was short, not the usual long winded letter containing it's usual love and warmth. It also seemed to have been hastily scribbled instead of being well thought out and meaningful. She scowled and began reading with a worried expression:
"Twilight sparkle
I write to you with the most dreadful of news, my dear sister has reverted into nightmare moon, she seeks to bathe the world in darkness once more. Time is of the essence, it is vital that you assemble the elements of harmony and make your way to Cantalot as soon as possible. The fate of the world hangs in the * incomprehensible scribble* balence.
Celestia"
"Oh no..." Twilight muttered horrified, she couldn't believe Luna would relapse, and in such a short amount of time no less. She didn't understand, she thought Luna was doing alright, ponies loved her. They were friends, 'We ARE friends' Twilight corrected herself, she would help Luna overcome this no matter what.
Jumping to her hooves she screamed franticly for spike to get down the stairs, she had a lot of work to do in so little time.
Everything was dark, then she slowly became aware of the floor moving in front of her face. Luna slowly opened her eyes to see that she was suspended on a guard ponies back, then the pain set in and she yelped "Ah!". Both guards jumped or flinched at that. It hurt to breath.
"Good to see you are awake your highness" answered Shinning, stopping in the middle of the hall and giving his mistress sympathetic looks.
Princess Luna shifted slightly, "guard... s-set me down" she asked shakily. Unsteadily shinning complied and lowered himself so his princess could get off, she shifted off his back and sat down on the floor. Mentally and physically exhausted.
"Your Majesty, are you sure you should be walking to the infirmary.. I mean-"
"no, We're not going to the infirmary" she cut him off, "We must stop our sister before she does something foolish". Both guards gave her unsure looks, "are you sure your highness, I mean... you look like sh-unable.. to do that..."
She glared death at him. He was right however, the princess did not look too good, her muzzle was broken and her face was covered in dried blood from her bleeding nose, her wing looked bent and from her raspy voice Shining assumed she had a few broken ribs. Her face and mane were also slightly singed in places.
Luna's face straightened with resolve "I am sure, we must go stop her before she hurts somepony"
'bit late for that' thought bronze shield, "h-how are we to do that? your highness?"
She looked down solemnly "I'm afraid we know not... we may just have to 'wing it' as ponies are so fond of saying these days". Bronze shield didn't have the heart nor courage to tell her just how terrible a plan that was. Luckily his partner was both stupid and brave enough to suggest a course of action.
"I think I have an idea, you say your sister is somewhat of an alcoholic right?"
If looks could kill, "Mine sister is NOT an alcoholic, nor did I ever say such a dreadful thing"
Shinning winced, but continued on feeling that his plan would work. "I apologize your Majesty" he said sincerely. "But I think this will work", he huddled up conspiratorially. "Now bear with me here, what if, what if we got the princess to pass out by giving her lots and lots of booze, alcohol is a depressant right? it should conteract the effects of LSD"
Both the princess of the night and his friend Bronze shield just stared at him. "You're fucking retarded..."
Authors note: Haha, surprise grimdark out of fucking nowhere. Stay tuned for part 3. And if you're wandering what happened to Token the blue unicorn hippy, that will be explain later in the story.
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900634
Thank you, that's rather touching.
Epicness!
Please accept my plea for MOAR!
LSD and booze
well at lest their not trying to give her ecstasy, that would be to funny... unless that surprise grimdark is true and this turns into a PSA...
901523
PSA? elaborate?
You know, I was wondering if Discord would be mentioned, as he is basically LSD as a god incarnate.
I'm surprised that Celestia could even write given the fact she's had what is probably a fatal dose of LSD to a normal Pony.
Poor Luna. She's only trying to prevent Celestia from destroying Equestria with the sun. She's going to mess Token up so bad when she recovers.
901548
If you look closly you'll notice that Token has in fact fucked off somewhere and the other characters just havn't noticed yet. (Whisper*But really it's because I somehow forgot he was there, and therefore forgot to include him because I'm a complete fuckwit. But don't tell anyone, its a secret*whisper)
901971
Thanks man! I'll try and get another chapter out tomorrow, not today of course (Because that would implicate I'm something more then a lazy shit).
I love you.
895930 It's funny because it's so true! XD
I think the single funniest thing here is that Fluttershy was among the druggies. I wonder if this little factoid will come into play when assembling the Elements of Harmony to deal with everything! XD
I can imagine Dash bawling with laughter when she finds out the Princess is on LSD
Can't wait for the next, chap.
I... I believe this... I think this could actually happen to Celestia...
Oh god...
I just realized im reading this sober. Thats a problem, lets change that.
"Twilight sparkle
I write to you with the most dreadful of news, my dear sister has reverted into nightmare moon, she seeks to bathe the world in darkness once more. Time is of the essence, it is vital that you assemble the elements of harmony and make your way to Cantalot as soon as possible. The fate of the world hangs in the * incomprehensible scribble* balence.
Celestia"
Oh you Celestia
I just want to see what Octavia would do once Celestia goes up to her, all drugged out, or Fluttershty for that matter, Gods, this is going to be classic