Time Travel Headaches
Graceful Wind and Quick Cut, Scootaloo’s parents, looked around the simple conference room they were currently sitting in within Canterlot’s business district. All around them were all manner of different ponies from all three tribes and from all corners of Equestria. Business ponies from Manehattan looked over the table in the back that was filled with donuts from Pony Joe’s, next to them farmers from the Great Grass Plains. An animal rustler from Soggy Bottom Bog sat next to a couple of ponies from Canterlot’s Fetish District, both of them looking at what the other was wearing and rolling their eyes. And it wasn’t just ponies either… there was a delegation of Griffins in one corner quietly chatting amongst themselves about the history of a bridge while near the front of the room the hippogriff Silver Quill awkwardly tried to find a way to get comfortable in his seat and cursed poor chair design within Equestria.
“What do you think this is all about?” Grace asked.
Quick, munching on an apple fritter, shrugged. “No idea… we were just told to come by that letter that arrived last week.”
“Well, I know that, I was there when we got the letter. No need for exposition.” Grace suddenly looked around with fear. “Plotdump isn’t around, is he?”
Quick swallowed hastily and helped her search before sighing in relief. “No, I think we are good-“
There was a flash of light and billowing smoke and in front of the conference room appeared a pony in a dark maroon clock, his mouthbarely visible under the heavy hood her wore. Those in attendance all flinched but the mysterious stallion didn’t make any more to attack and soon they all just sat quietly in anticipation. The robed pony waited until the last of the attendees had taken their seats before speaking.
“Greetings, everyone. You are probably wondering why you were summoned here. I shall explain, for I am Retcon the Meta!” He reared up and thunder clamored somewhere in the distance. “And I have brought you here to feel my power!”
“You’re… what now?” a blue unicorn pony who was wearing an apron from Sugar Cube Corners asked in confusion.
“Are you referring to my name or my power?” Retcon asked.
“…both, actually.”
The stallion nodded, never lowering his hood. “Ah, those go hoof in hoof. For you see it is my grand duty to ensure that all of you fit with canon to ensure that the FIC remains stable!”
“Cannon?” a Griffin asked nervously. “Oh dear, are you going to kill us?”
Silver Quill jabbed a talon at him. “Ha! Firebrand didn’t get me last time and neither will you!”
Retcon shook his head and let out a dry huff. “No no. Canon. One N. It refers to established history.”
A farmer pony raised her foreleg. “Fic?”
“Functionality In Canterlot… it’s a thing.” Retcon shrugged. “Since last updating the FIC, many seasons have passed and with them many revelations concerning Equestria, its inhabitants, and its history. It is my solemn duty, as charged by the creator, to use my power to ensure that canon is maintained.”
The door to the conference room opened and Wall Breaker the 4th stuck his head in. “Shouldn’t defender2222 be doing this? He is the author.”
Retcon let out a very un-mysterious huff. “defender2222 never created an OC that was a representation of himself. His main OC is Tydal and the Squad is still finding him in Old Equestria so he can’t do this. Besides he doesn’t fit. Defender2222 is very odd in the fact he has no personal OC. Thus I was created.”
“OC?” someone called out. “You mean Oceaniac Creature?”
“Not this time,” Retcon replied.
Wall Breaker though pressed his point. “So wouldn’t that make you defender2222?”
“No. Especially because that name is horrible and long and was only used on this site because he was embarrassed to be writing MLP fiction.”
Grace frowned. “Are you following any of this?”
“Not a lick,” her husband stated. He chewed on his donut. “Food’s good though.”
Retcon thrust up his foreleg. “In fact, I will make my first act to retcon that everyone can call defender2222 “Mr. Chaos” from now on! In fact it would be preferred!”
Wall Breaker shrugged. “I think you should retcon him in as a pony but what do I know… just been calling out stuff in the FIC since-“
There was a flash under Retcon’s hood and the door slammed shut… and a lock appeared, retconed into existence.
“Now then, as I stated… we have learned much over the passing seasons and I must go about correcting things. First off… King Fakeo? Step forward.”
The blue stallion with the apron nervously walked up. “Uh… yes?”
“We have learned more about you, father of Trixie. You are now named Jack Pot and you are also a famous magician! Also you prefer suit jackets.”
The unicorn blinked before grinning. “That… that sounds great! Famous, doing something I love, better name, no longer have to work at Sugar Cube-“
“Oh, you still have to work there,” Retcon declared before grimacing. “I am not messing with the Cakes.”
“Wait, what?” Jack Pot/Fakeo looked in horror as Retcon opened a portal back to the bakery and sweet shop and shoved him through it. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“That was beautifully tragic,” Grace muttered.
“Tragically beautiful,” Quick countered.
“Starswirl the Bearded!” the crowd gasped as they realized that the legendary wizard’s ghost had been in the back of the room, still looking over the muffins that were available on the desert table. Realizing he’d been called Starswirl floated over. “Originally there was talk of you joining the FIC as a member of the God Squad but that has changed. Now you will get your own team of heroes! The Pillars! They are like Equestria’s Avengers except their time travel actually makes sense!”
“Well… that is nice.” Starswirl said with a smile, adjusting his hat, bells chiming as he did so. “I assume we will get our own spin-off where I am the noble leader, going on merry adventures learning about friendship?”
Retcon grimaced. “Yeaaaah… actually you only appear in a couple episodes, only one of them you are all together, and you’re a total tool who treats Twilight like crap.” Retcon threw out a Ghost Trap and sucked Starswirl in before he could argue, then opened another portal, this to Limbo, and tossing him inside. “Graceful Wind and Quick Cut.”
Scootaloo’s parents swallowed nervously as they stepped forward. “Y-yes?” Quick asked, having realized that Retcon could retcon things for good or for bad.
“Your coats and manes will have to be made different colors but you may keep your builds as well as stay an Earth Pony and a Pegasus. Turns out the creator was actually correct in that… who knew? Also your names are now Snap Shutter and Mane Allgood.”
The two shared looks and shrugged. “Well, I have been looking to get a new hairstyle,” Grace/Mane said, touching her mane. “What are you thinking?”
“Cute and stylish braid.”
“Yes… that would work nicely!” she declared.
“And Snap isn’t a bad name… so am I a photographer now? And Grce…er… Mane is a stylist?”
“You are world famous adventurers who discovers new animals and plants, explore the most dangerous places in Equestria, and advance science and medicine with your discoveries,” Retcon declared solemnly.
“…are you sure that isn’t one of those stories about our daughter’s secret origins?” Snap/Quick asked.
“Yes. Now, you’ll also get a dialect coach as you need to have an Australian Accent.”
Snap/Quick frowned. “What’s an Austrialian?”
Retcon sighed. “Brismane.”
“Ah.”
“Also your sister is gay.”
Snap/Quick frowned. “I don’t have a sister.”
“You do now! RETCON!”
The God Squad: Equestria’s Mightiest Immortals
Episode 4: Time Travel Headaches
Luna looked down as the mob of angry ponies slowly began to approach her and Pinkie, the torches held in their hooves blazing brightly (it was actually impressive how they held them... what with not having any fingers to grip). It wouldn’t have been that bad if not for the fact that the two of them were tied to a stake in the middle of Ponytown (aka The Cheap Dollar Store Knock-Off of Ponyville That Your Grandma Thinks Is Just As Good As The Real Thing). The sun was just beginning to set as the Judge read off all their crimes and passed the sentence of death (Ponytown had a very fast legal system... they'd even won awards!).
“Well, this is a fine mess you’ve gotten us into Ollie!” Pinkie declared as the mob got closer.
See that pony there? Well, that’s me. Princess Luna. You’re probably wondering how I got in this situation. Well, it’s a long story. It all started several hours earlier, when me and my baby girl Twilight were searching for my adopted father…
“So I want to make sure we are in complete agreement about this,” Twilight said as the two of them trotting along the dirt road towards Ponytown (‘Ponytown: If we look poorly put together it’s because we are!’).
“Of course, it is always good to have a plan of attack,” Luna said cheerfully. “Now, were you thinking search grids or perhaps starting in one spot and slowly fanning out-“
“No, nothing about looking for Lord Tydal,” Twilight said firmly, shaking her head. “I meant about you and me.”
“What about you and me?”
“I’m not your kid.”
Luna merely smiled, using her magic to pinch Twilight’s cheek. “Aw, that’s so cute, you’re in your Rebellious Teen Phase!” Releasing the annoyed purple pony Luna continued on ahead. “Oh, my little Twiley Moonie is growing up. Soon we'll need to get your first training saddle!”
“I am over 20 years old. And my name isn’t Twiley Moonie,” Twilight grumbled. “And this isn’t me rebelling and claiming I’m not your daughter because I am all angsty or angry or hormonal or you decided to dust the books on my bookshelf but when you did that you moved them around and you mixed them up and you KNOW HOW I LIKE THEM AND THAT IS MY ROOM AND YOU SHOULDN’T TOUCH MY THINGS-!” Twilight stopped and took a breath. “Ahem. What I mean is that I am not your child because we are not genetically related.”
“Oh? Did you perform a blood test?”
Twilight frowned. “Well… no, I didn’t, but I know for a fact that I am not your kid.”
“You are a scientist, aren’t you Twilight?”
The purple alicorn tapped her chin, wondering where Luna was going with this but also intrigued by the question but rather than get annoyed by the distraction she was actually intrigued by the question. “Well, kind of? I mean I never got my doctorate or anything like that so I’m not officially a scientist by any college’s measure but that’s the thing… aren’t we all scientists? Any time a filly or a colt sees something new in the world and experiments with it doesn’t that make them a scientist? Whenever one questions the world, doesn’t that make them a scientist? Whenever I try and bring ponies back to life using the machines in my basement that are an affront to Faust’s plan… doesn’t that make me a scientist?”
“My point is-wait, how many ponies have you brought back to life?” Luna asked nervously; even she didn't meddle with necromancy.
“Are we counting the ones that I had to kill because they came back as soulless monsters?”
“No.”
“Then just one. And that was just a foal… Cozy something or other but I’m sure she isn’t a soulless monster at all!”
Luna pursed her lips together. “Considering who I am that only proves more that we are related. But anyway, my point is that you are a scientist… and with science you can never truly disprove a negative, only prove something is. And for that you need evidence. So I ask you, what evidence do you have that we aren’t related?”
“You were on the moon when I was born.”
“Was I?” Luna asked with a smirk. “You do realize I was able to come and go as I pleased.”
“But…no, you couldn’t! You were trapped up there! The book said so!”
“Books aren’t always right, Twilight,” Luna said with a giggle, continuing on and thus missing Twilight’s mane bursting into flames and the death glare she sent the Princess’ way before she quickly got a hold of herself (‘she is from a different time… she is backwards and stupid… she doesn’t know what she’s actually saying…’). “Yes, I for the most part remained on the moon as I plotted my revenge on Celestia… and oh, what plotting I did…”
~553 Years Ago… er… from the present day. So actually roughly 449 years in the future of when Luna is now…~
“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!” Nightmare Moon sobbed, stomping her hoofs on the lunar soil. “IT’S NOT FAIR! I HATE IT HERE! WAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!” She turned to a few stones that she’d carved to look like Tydal, Merida, and the twins. “I’m…sniff… I’m going to go back permanently one day… and I’m going to put Celestia here for a week… and when she comes to me…sobbing and crying… and lonely… sniff... I’ll show her I ran things just fine!” She blew her nose. “My kingdom will be amazing! With lower t-taxes, and moonlit strolls, and free pizza bagels for everyone!”
The Tydal rock fell onto its side.
“DADDY NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
~The Present… which is the past. But not the past we just saw… god, this is confusing, now do you see why this story was on hiatus for so long?!?!~
“…but I did venture back and forth from the moon and Equestria for brief visits to restock. Kinda like Lucifer Morningstar.”
“Who?” Twilight asked as they passed a well-dressed unicorn with dark hair, a gin-glass-with-wings cutie mark, and the animal charisma to make any pony male or female want to sleep with him.
Luna just continued on. “Who is to say I didn’t spend one of those visits with some muscular stallion… tall with devilish good looks and a smooth voice perfect for jazz… and a hard, throbbing, meaty-“
“I am not old enough to hear this,” Twilight whimpered as Luna began to drool.
The Moon Goddess shook her head, snapping herself out of her daydream. “The point is I could easily be your mama.”
“But even you know you didn't gave birth to me!” Twilight complained. "You have no memory of it! Scootaloo told me so when she saw your memory when you two piloted that jaeger!"
Luna giggled as they entered the town proper. “Oh Twilight, that’s only because Nightmare Moon was a horrific drunk who blacked out all the time.”
“She… she was?” Twilight asked.
“How did my return appear to you? How do you remember it?” Luna asked as they passed by some quaint little huts and shacks.
Twilight shuddered. “Terrifying. You were ranting and cackling and talking about how the night would last forever…”
Luna grimaced. “I think you might be viewing that through rose-tinted glasses…”
~Several years ago for Twilight, but 1000 years in the future for the time they are in and oh dear lord is this time travel confusing, why didn’t I just send Tydal to Tartarus like I originally planned?!?!?!~
“Oh no… Nightmare Moon!” Twilight whispered as the dark phantom of pony terrors appeared on the balcony Princess Celestia was supposed to be on, Spike fainting off her back at the sight.
“Oh, my-hic-beloved s-subjects!” Nightmare Moon slurred, forcing the bile to not come rushing up her throat. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen your-“ her eyes drifted to the barrel of cider Berry Punch was hugging (while her daughter glared at her in annoyance), “-precious, mouth-watering… I mean sun-loving faces.”
“What did you do with your princess?!” the flying can of Pabst Blue Ribbon declared, a Mike’s Hard Lemonade stopping her (or at least that's how Nightmare Moon saw it).
“Why, am I not royal enough for you? Don’t you -urp- know who I am?” As the pink pony blathered on Nightmare Moon looked down and realized that there were bottles of Johnny Trotter Whiskey scattered about her hooves and she shifted, hoping she was high up enough that no one saw them. Finally hearing someone guess right (who had a lovely coat and pretty eyes and if she were her daughter she’d be very proud that she’d grown up to be so pretty!) she smiled in delight and gave her big speech, waiting for the moment the lightning cracked… to quietly shove the whiskey bottles off the balcony and onto the ground. “Ow… laughing hurts, laughing hurts…”
~Present, or past, or… oh, why do I even bother? (gets up and walks away)~
“So the point is that I could easily have blacked out and forgotten about you until the Cakes informed me of the truth.”
“You blacked out… for months?”
“Have you ever been pregnant, Twilight?”
“No… I just hatched my psedo-son from an egg… a chocolate egg with a caramel center. Which, according to Rarity, is why his urine is sticky and delicious.”
“…that was more information than I needed, Twilight,” Luna grumbled before getting back on topic. “The point is I could so be your mother! It’s not like you remember your own birth.”
“That… is true,” Twilight was pained to admit. “My earliest memory was when I was three…”
~Uh yeah, I’m the janitor… defender2222 left in a huff to rethink his life… so I guess I have to say when this took place? So… flashback to when Twilight was three?~
“Oh no!” Night Light cried out, looking at the train crash that laid sprawled out before them all. There were mangled bodies everywhere, with severed limbs and random organs staining the ground with bile and blood. Ponies were screaming in agony, begging for help, while witnesses just screamed at the nightmarish terror that lay before them. One pony even ran by on fire, flailing his arms about. “How… how could this have happened?” Night Light asked, drawing Twilight close to him, the little filly staring at the carnage with wide frightened eyes.
“We… decided… to go off schedule…” a conductor who was pinned under a hunk of the locomotive’s engine gasped out, reaching out towards them and placing a bloody hoof on Twilight’s cheek.. “Didn’t… follow the… checklist either. This… happened… because… we didn’t… have a checklist… could… have been… avoided… if only… we stuck… to plan… and precious… check… liiiisssst.”
~Back to Twilight at her current age… huh, this isn’t hard at all!~
Twilight laughed. “but I’m sure that event didn’t cause lasting damage to my psyche.”
“Suuuureeeee,” Luna drawled out before looking around, trying to decide where to start first with seeking out Tydal. “The point is you don’t have any proof I couldn’t be your mommy.”
“Then I’ll get some proof!” Twilight quickly waved to a passing farmer. “Excuse me sir, do you know where we can go to get a blood test done?”
“A… blood test?” the farmer asked, confused by the request.
“Twilight, no!” Luna cried out in fear.
“Yeah, we are trying to figure out if we are related and I want to test our blood!”
Luna magically grabbed Twilight before she could say more. “We are in the past, remember? That sort of stuff will sound like witchcraft-“
The farmer laughed. “Oh, you mean a DNA test. I was confused by what you called it, ma’am. Afraid the doctor is out for the day, visiting a family friend, but maybe he could do one tomorrow?”
Luna blinked. “Or ponies are more advanced than a thought. Lovely!” Reaching into her saddlebag Luna pulled out a parchment. “If we might trouble you we are looking for my father. He is a capricorn, half goat and half fish…” She held up the scroll, which had a photo of Tydal strangling a salespony who had tried to sell him a waffle maker (long story), the words ‘LOST CAPRICORN’ printed on the top of the parchment and at the bottom a description of the God of War (loves long watches on the beast, answers to Tydal, has had all his shots) and who to contact if they found him and a reward. “He would have passed by here in the last 8 months if-“
“What… what is that?” the farmer asked, staring at the parchment.
“Uh… a description of my father…” Luna began.
“No, I mean what is that sorcery on that paper. Its so lifelike…”
Luna frowned, craning her head around to get a better look. “That is a photo of my daddy-“
“No… that is witchcraft!” The farmer reared back in fright. “You stole his soul and placed it in that paper! Dark magic! Dark magic!”
Twilight’s eyes went wide as the townsponies began to circle them. “It’s just a pho-aaaack!” one of the schoolmares hit her with a shovel, knocking her out.
“MY BABY!” Luna screamed before narrowing her eyes, her horn flashing. “Alright, no one hurts the foal that may or may not actually be mine. It’s time for some Luna-“
And that’s when Pinkie plummeted from the sky and landed on top of her, knocking Luna out.
See that pony there? Well, that’s me. Pinkie Pie. You’re probably wondering how I got in this situation. Well, it’s a long story. It all started several hours earlier, when-
Hey!
Oh, hiya Princess Luna!
This is my bit! Get your own!
We can both us it! Didn’t your mom ever teach you to share?
My mother decided to dump me on my brother’s doorstep before I was fully cognizant of my existence.
Awwwww… well that’s okay, we can still share this bit. Anyway, How I got here. It’s a long story…
“So this is a medieval sex swing?” Cadence asked the soldier she and Pinkie had been questioning about Tydal’s location. "Very solidly made!"
“No, that’s a catapult,” the soldier said dryly.
Pinkie, who’d hopped into the device, frowned. “So it won’t make me c-“
TWANG!
“WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!” Pinkie cried out as she went rocketing through the air.
Huh… I guess it wasn’t that long of a story after all!
Luna tugged on the ropes before looking at the mob once more. "But doesn't this seem a bit extreme? Isn't there some other punishment you could use?"
The Judge shook his head though. "You must be not from around here... burning at the stake is how we punish all criminals." He gestured to Luna's right and for the first time she noticed that there was line of other ponies tied to their own stakes, waiting to be burned.
Raising an eyebrow the first mare sighed. "I stole two bits."
A large earth pony stallion looked down humbly. "I tore the tag off my mattress."
"Noise ordnance," a pony with a tuba said (the tuba tied to its own stake.
"I violently murdered ponies and used their bones to make my house," a creepy pony with dark black eyes and a slicked back mane said, slurping his words.
Luna turned back to Judge Heavyhoof. "Okay, now that one does deserve to burn at the stake. But there is something I’ve never understood…” she said as the villagers began to light the timber on fire. “If a witch is supposed to be all super scary powerful and such… ignoring that unicorns are basically witches… why couldn’t they free themselves from a situation like this?”
Judge Heavyhoof shook his head. “Well, this is more of a test than a punishment-“
“You said this was our punishment for being witches,” Luna pointed out. “And to be super fair Pinkie is an earth pony and isn’t a witch because she has no magic.”
“I do break the laws of physics often!” she said helpfully. “I made Alcolt Eintrot cry once.”
“…ignoring both that comment and the horrible name pun… why would you attempt to burn a witch if you know they could escape?”
“It’s a test, as I said. If you are truly innocent ponies you will burn to death.”
Luna frowned. “And?”
“And what?”
“That’s it? If you are wrong we burn to death.”
“Indeed.”
“Duh!” Pinkie said, rolling her eyes. “That’s what fire does, silly!” In a stage whisper she told the mob, “She’s led a very sheltered life. Please forgive the silly moonie booty.”
Luna grit her teeth. “I see the ‘Only Sane Pony’ switch is firmly in my position now.” To the Judge she said, “So you openly admit that you murder innocent ponies.”
“Only if they aren’t witches. If they aren’t witches they die a good innocent death… screaming in agony as their flesh melts and their organs pop. As the Princesses intended!”
“And if they are witches and escape?”
“Then they fail the test and are asked to return to the town square so they might be crushed to death.”
Luna huffed. “And just how many ponies have actually been revealed to be witches?”
“Well… none of them,” the Judge admitted, “but science states you can’t disprove a negative, only prove it!”
“That is true!” Pinkie said with a giggle. “Alright, let’s get this over with!”
“You do realize you will burn to death, right?” Luna asked, turning to the baker.
Pinkie though merely grinned and shook her head. “Nope! Not gonna happen!”
“…because you are a witch?” Luna asked suspiciously.
“Because this is a kid’s cartoon and death can’t happen, silly! All ponies get is big boo-boos.”
“This is a defender2222 story.”
“Say what now?”
Luna sighed. “Use your 4th Wall Sense.”
Pinkie’s eyes unfocused for a moment… and then she began to struggle against the bonds. “WE’RE GONNA DIE! WE’RE GONNA DIE!”
“We’re fine,” Luna said, using her magic to teleport them to safety. The mob let out a gasp and several of them fainted at the sight. Luna, clearing her throat, activated the Canterlot Voice. “ATTENTION MY LITTLE PONIES! YOU HAVE GONE ABOUT THIS ALL WRONG! WITCHES ARE NOT TO BE FEARED! THEY ARE GOOD AND KIND AND MARRY MEN NAMED DURWOOD!”
“It’s Darrin!” an earth pony called out.
“THE POINT REMAINS THAT YOU SHOULD NOT TRY AND BURN WITCHES… BECAUSE IT WILL ADD TO THE CO2 COUNT IN THE ATMOSPHERE! INSTEAD YOU SHOULD TRY TO BRIBE WITCHES… WITH GOLD. AND HELPING FIND THEIR DAD’S! AND FLAPJACK PANCAKES!”
“Can… can we do that now?” the Judge asked.
“YES!”
Pinkie giggled and bounced towards a baker’s hut. “I’ll show you a nifty recipe the Moon Witch will love!”
Luna rolled her eyes before pulling a knocked out Twilight over and brushing her mane from her eyes. “There there… mama’s here…”
“Bruggggggggg!” Twilight moaned, drooling.
“…we’re going to say you get your sleeping habits from your father…” Luna looked up to see most of the crowd gone, save for… “Cadence? Applejack? Shining Armor?” The three, dressed in old timey outfits and holding torches, looked up at her nervously. “What are you doing here?”
See those pony there? Well, that’s us. Cadence, Applejack, and Shining Armor. You’re probably wondering how we got in this situation. Well, it’s a long story. It all started several hours earlier, when-
STOP STEALING MY BIT!!!!!!!
~In the actual human world~
See that guy at the keyboard there? Well, that’s me. Mr. Chaos. You might be wondering how I, the writer of such aclaimed stories as the "Harry Potter: Pokemon Master Series", "Authors of Our Own Fate", and "A Man of Iron" ended up once more writing about pastel horses instead of actually having a respectable life. Well... it's a long story...
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Not a damn clue.
Who are you again?
Yes.
That explains a lot.
Works for me.
Oh good, he has some sense.
No, the show is just weird.
Ah, the Chinese bootleg.
... You've been banished for over a thousand years.
... It frightens me that that's just a thing.
She has a soul, but she is still a monster.
You're 20.
That explains a lot.
... No comment.
I doubt anybody does.
Jesus...
Same thing as far as Cadence is concerned.
Well, no unicorn magic.
...
Sucks, doesn't it?
I got time.
IT LLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
9793451
And I am working on banking up extra chapters this time. I already have the next one done, will begin the one after that tomorrow, and I am on vacation so I'd love to get at least this arc and the next one done.
This first arc was always going to be the hardest due to the massive cast but after that the God Squad, since it is following the show's style, moves into a Cutie Map-Style for the adventures with the Squad sent in smaller numbers to tackle threats (instead of friendship problems). The next arc after this will most likely be the Saddle Arabia Arc.
9793461
Glad to see this back up after so long. :)
9793909
Thanks! Fun to be back!
What the, I just JUST began rereading this series and you spring upon us again! Blargle and welcome back!
And we're back!
And we're back!
9793461
Sweet. And maybe some room for Alfreda and Juan to apologize for the last time they met and join them for a chapter?
Isn’t bit-thievery a crime punishable by stake burning in old Equestria?
9794560
...damn it, that inspired a joke!
Alright kids, chapter is going to get editted to include one more joke. But here it is if you don't want to search it out:
Luna tugged on the ropes before looking at the mob once more. "But doesn't this seem a bit extreme? Isn't there some other punishment you could use?"
The Judge shook his head though. "You must be not from around here... burning at the stake is how we punish all criminals." He gestured to Luna's right and for the first time she noticed that there was line of other ponies tied to their own stakes, waiting to be burned.
Raising an eyebrow the first mare sighed. "I stole two bits."
A large earth pony stallion looked down humbly. "I tore the tag off my mattress."
"Noise ordenance," a pony with a tuba said (the tuba tied to its own stake.
"I violently murdered ponies and used their bones to make my house," a creepy pony with dark black eyes and a slicked back mane said, slurping his words.
Luna turned back to Judge Heavyhoof. "Okay, now that one does deserve to burn at the stake."
welcome back...
They’re baaaaack
9794652
9794867
And it's good to be back. I am working on Episode 6 right now and digging a bit into the extended family of the Squad. Gertrude from Snowblind will finally enter canon and throughout this season we will be meeting more deities, rulers, and visiting new lands.
Welp, seems about right.
Pfft, drunkass Nightmare Moon made me laugh much more than she should've.
9805555
I love little moments like that where I twist canon just a touch.