7177690 He did tell his sister, Sarah, yes. So that was pretty bad wording on my part. I changed it a little at the end to reflect that. Otherwise, the rest will be handled in the story eventually.
7177729 hopefully it won't be affected because of Scootaloos size ...right ? Side note ... Yay the portal is stable ... Bring on the electronics revolution to Equestria ! picturing twilight try to understand a laptop .. Let alone virtual reality via Oculus Rift
Nearly a year since he patched things up with his best friend, Rainbow Dash, after all the turmoil they caused each other.
I'd recommend avoiding sentence fragments in your story's description. It makes readers like myself wary about reading the story itself when the author doesn't check the front page of their own work.
7177875 It will be tackled shortly! And yeah, I can see a lot of fun scenarios arising should Will choose to bring anything like that back with him. 7177888 That wasn't from lack of checking; that was written quite intentionally. I chose the wording that sounded better over the one that's grammatically immaculate, which is often how I write. If that's not your cup of tea, then the rest of the story likely won't be either. Sorry!
7177919Idea Ok, so if portal is stable could a cell tower or satellite dish be placed on either side, set to the same unique frequency ( to keep nosey gov' out of it ) , could Will effectively call home whenever he wanted ? Kind of like how this message was initially sent from Equestria, encrypted , then sent through a portal to this worlds internet via darknet channels before reaching this site ... It's only slightly laggy sometimes FYI ... I've visited your world ... Pretty nice , so similar it's almost scary ...history is a bit different from what I knew, then again my world fell/ blew up from nuclear war around 2009 ... ~ Atlas
Oh good, we got the false infidelity claims drama out of the way quick so we can move on to the much more entertaining drama of telling parents and surrogate parents that you got their daughter knocked up and of meeting human parents who don't know you're a xenophilliac.
7178140 I know, right? There are so many more interesting conflicts here, I couldn't focus on that one. But I couldn't throw it out the window, either, since it's a justifiable concern.
I couldn't help but notice your paragraphs are never longer than 4 sentences. It's bothersome because longer paragraphs can help build immersion, whereas 4 sentence paragraphs are rather choppy.
Welcome back, and quite the load of stuff dropped on the readers with these three chapters thus far. Gotta say, I'm probably not the only one who is holding out hope Rainbow ends up with them still, as that was the only disappointing thing of the first story.
What you've got present so far is well written, just like the prior story, and looks quite promising. I'll definitely be tracking this story as well, good luck with its writing.
7178342 I'll admit, Mari's scene was one of my favorite parts to write. So much fun to have everyone acting like an idiot making baby talk! 7178391 Thankya kindly! 7178488 Yeah, you might have a point. I'll keep it in mind for future chapters. 7178508 I can only say that Rainbow will play as big of part in this fic as Will and Scoots. And thanks for your kind words!
7178763 Thankya kindly! And let me know what is in contradiction and I'll see what I can do to fix it. I make up a lot of details as I go, so stuff like that is bound to happen.
7179126 This is also bound to happen. Having the last major thing I wrote be in first person, I'm only amazed I didn't slip back into it more often!
7181022 7181101 7181359 7181447 Thank you all! I'm really excited for this story, too. I've been itching to tell it for a while.
7181377 7181916 And yes, as my Boobear over there said, he wasn't as I've never played any mods or DLC for Fallout 3. He was actually named kind of for Jack Harkness of Doctor Who.
I loved the first story, but i didn't know their was a sequel to it. Just found it yesterday and i can't wait for more chapters, seems like it's gonna be a good story, and more then likely slightly sad story as well.
I just stumbled up this gem of a story, and it's prequel yesterday. I look forward to seeing how the citizens of both worlds react to Scootaloo and Will having a foal.
7181995 in the extra chapter in 'To Catch a Rainbow' Scootaloo said to Will that she wanted a baby after seeing Marigold, the in chapter 3 of 'Where I Belong' it's stated that Will was the one that said he wanted one, which I won't disagree with, but what Scootaloo said was never even mentioned is all I'm saying that need to be thought of.
7183782 I wasn't going to say anything, but now I'll admit that I'm with Puss. I'm glad I didn't reread the chapters, because I NEVER would have found that. Mostly because I don't see it as a contradiction. Scoots said in an emotional moment that she wants foals someday, not right now. And Will correctly assumed she didn't want one right out of school.
7183782 Jeremy is my bro and we talk a lot. Honestly, I was asking you to clarify on his behalf because he was like me and didn't want to waste time reading 2 whole chapters to try and figure out what you meant. Although, based on what you found, he might not have even seen what you were talking about. I do see what you mean, but just because Scoots said she wanted a baby before doesn’t necessarily mean she wants one right now, so I don’t feel like it's a big enough thing to go back and fix. Like, yeah sure she would love to have a foal one day, but one that is planed and when she is ready to have one. I don’t think Scoots wants a baby right this second, or was even expecting to have one now, so that’s why it's a shock to her and she's not jumping up and down in pure joy.
Edit: I didn't see that Jeremy got off his lazy ass to respond to you. My B.
to both of you I know that Scootaloo meant some day, she even said that, I'm just a little concerned that what she said was not brought up too. making it sound like Will was the only one to say anything like that is kinda mean to your readers, that's all I'm trying to say.
7183891 I'm sorry, I just don't follow. I truly don't understand how I'm being mean. Do I really need to spend time pointing out that in the harsh light of day she may not be as excited for something that she was for in the heat of the moment? I just kinda thought that would be obvious from the way she was acting.
7183931 I'm so sorry I didn't want to say 'mean' as being a bad person. my brain over-analyzed it to much and all I wanted was for the over emotional Scootaloo line in the last chapter in the last story to have some meaning in this story. again I do apologize on my stupidity.
7183971 It's cool, no worries! We all go a little overboard sometimes, Cadance knows I do! But do remember, the story's not over yet. There's still a lot of time for things to happen, and maybe that line will have some meaning eventually. Scoots is still kind of in panic mode at the moment, but she won't be forever.
7183992 I'm also sorry that I doubled your name on it, it was to go to Pusspuss but it shows numbers instead of names and that got me screwed up to. thank you for understanding, it's a trait I picked up from my brother.
wait, i thought the sister knew, or was that one of those "hey keep a secret for me" kinda deals?
7175945
7175990
7176039
7176116
I'm so sorry this took so long to happen! But I'm really glad so many people are still interested in it!
7176036
7176060
7176156
7177000
The question of what the baby is in regards to pony or pony/human hybrid, will be tackled shortly.
7176369
She would never! Scootie-too-cutie is an angel, see?
7177690
He did tell his sister, Sarah, yes. So that was pretty bad wording on my part. I changed it a little at the end to reflect that. Otherwise, the rest will be handled in the story eventually.
Damn you. Now I have to reread EVERYTHING...
7177761
O.o Reread all of TFaR or just this chapter for the change? Because I only changed a couple of words in literally the last sentence.
7177729 hopefully it won't be affected because of Scootaloos size ...right ?
Side note ... Yay the portal is stable ... Bring on the electronics revolution to Equestria !
picturing twilight try to understand a laptop .. Let alone virtual reality via Oculus Rift
I'd recommend avoiding sentence fragments in your story's description. It makes readers like myself wary about reading the story itself when the author doesn't check the front page of their own work.
7177875
It will be tackled shortly! And yeah, I can see a lot of fun scenarios arising should Will choose to bring anything like that back with him.
7177888
That wasn't from lack of checking; that was written quite intentionally. I chose the wording that sounded better over the one that's grammatically immaculate, which is often how I write. If that's not your cup of tea, then the rest of the story likely won't be either. Sorry!
7177919 Idea Ok, so if portal is stable could a cell tower or satellite dish be placed on either side, set to the same unique frequency ( to keep nosey gov' out of it ) , could Will effectively call home whenever he wanted ? Kind of like how this message was initially sent from Equestria, encrypted , then sent through a portal to this worlds internet via darknet channels before reaching this site ... It's only slightly laggy sometimes
FYI ... I've visited your world ... Pretty nice , so similar it's almost scary ...history is a bit different from what I knew, then again my world fell/ blew up from nuclear war around 2009 ...
~ Atlas
7177738
neat! thanks for that
7177769 Everything. It's been so long I forgot the story existed
Oh good, we got the false infidelity claims drama out of the way quick so we can move on to the much more entertaining drama of telling parents and surrogate parents that you got their daughter knocked up and of meeting human parents who don't know you're a xenophilliac.
7177990
I can't reveal details that may or may not be in the story at later points.
7178032
Sorry!
7178140
I know, right? There are so many more interesting conflicts here, I couldn't focus on that one. But I couldn't throw it out the window, either, since it's a justifiable concern.
7177729 that's good
Been waiting for this sequel to happen, and I like what's out so far. I reread the first story a few days back, and then I ran into this today.
Keep up the good work.
I couldn't help but notice your paragraphs are never longer than 4 sentences. It's bothersome because longer paragraphs can help build immersion, whereas 4 sentence paragraphs are rather choppy.
Welcome back, and quite the load of stuff dropped on the readers with these three chapters thus far. Gotta say, I'm probably not the only one who is holding out hope Rainbow ends up with them still, as that was the only disappointing thing of the first story.
What you've got present so far is well written, just like the prior story, and looks quite promising. I'll definitely be tracking this story as well, good luck with its writing.
7178342
I'll admit, Mari's scene was one of my favorite parts to write. So much fun to have everyone acting like an idiot making baby talk!
7178391
Thankya kindly!
7178488
Yeah, you might have a point. I'll keep it in mind for future chapters.
7178508
I can only say that Rainbow will play as big of part in this fic as Will and Scoots. And thanks for your kind words!
love the story and can't wait for the next part.
I did see a line though that is a contradict to a line in the last story.
I predict that Will and Scoots get into a tiff, either one or both run off, and either one or both cheat on the other.
I'm gunning for Will nailing Rainbow again at some point.
IT BEGINS!
2new4.fjcdn.com/pictures/Starting+a+shit+storm+hey+guys+i+was+thinking+it+d_8010dc_5631537.jpg
7178763
Thankya kindly! And let me know what is in contradiction and I'll see what I can do to fix it. I make up a lot of details as I go, so stuff like that is bound to happen.
7179126
This is also bound to happen. Having the last major thing I wrote be in first person, I'm only amazed I didn't slip back into it more often!
7179467
Thanks! I've really missed it, too.
I love this story I'm glad it picked up a new arch.
OH MY SHIT, THIS IS BACK?
FUCK YEAH!
cough
I mean, uh, I'm excited n' stuff.
Glad to see this story here, the ending of the last one left me feeling a bit empty.
William Harkin... You didn't happen to get that name from a Fallout 3 mod called Mothership Zeta Crew, did you?
The hype for more is real.
I'm so excited for this story.
7179799 all you need to do is reread the extra chapter on your last story then reread this chapter, that's all.
7181377
I can answer this one! No, he didn't.
7181815
Is there any way you can point it out? Or just say what it was?
7181022
7181101
7181359
7181447
Thank you all! I'm really excited for this story, too. I've been itching to tell it for a while.
7181377
7181916
And yes, as my Boobear over there said, he wasn't as I've never played any mods or DLC for Fallout 3. He was actually named kind of for Jack Harkness of Doctor Who.
7181997
All my yes.
7182059
Jack is my dream guy.
I loved the first story, but i didn't know their was a sequel to it. Just found it yesterday and i can't wait for more chapters, seems like it's gonna be a good story, and more then likely slightly sad story as well.
I just stumbled up this gem of a story, and it's prequel yesterday. I look forward to seeing how the citizens of both worlds react to Scootaloo and Will having a foal.
7182062
He's everybody's dream guy.
... Sometimes whether they like it or not.
7181995 in the extra chapter in 'To Catch a Rainbow' Scootaloo said to Will that she wanted a baby after seeing Marigold, the in chapter 3 of 'Where I Belong' it's stated that Will was the one that said he wanted one, which I won't disagree with, but what Scootaloo said was never even mentioned is all I'm saying that need to be thought of.
7182990
Ahhh, yeah, I see. Cool, cool. I just didn't want to have to read both those chapters to try and find what you where talking about. I'm lazy.
7183141 I understand, but it was for JeremyStorm to figure out.
7183782
I wasn't going to say anything, but now I'll admit that I'm with Puss. I'm glad I didn't reread the chapters, because I NEVER would have found that. Mostly because I don't see it as a contradiction. Scoots said in an emotional moment that she wants foals someday, not right now. And Will correctly assumed she didn't want one right out of school.
7183782
Jeremy is my bro and we talk a lot. Honestly, I was asking you to clarify on his behalf because he was like me and didn't want to waste time reading 2 whole chapters to try and figure out what you meant. Although, based on what you found, he might not have even seen what you were talking about. I do see what you mean, but just because Scoots said she wanted a baby before doesn’t necessarily mean she wants one right now, so I don’t feel like it's a big enough thing to go back and fix. Like, yeah sure she would love to have a foal one day, but one that is planed and when she is ready to have one. I don’t think Scoots wants a baby right this second, or was even expecting to have one now, so that’s why it's a shock to her and she's not jumping up and down in pure joy.
Edit: I didn't see that Jeremy got off his lazy ass to respond to you. My B.
7183849
7183849
to both of you I know that Scootaloo meant some day, she even said that, I'm just a little concerned that what she said was not brought up too. making it sound like Will was the only one to say anything like that is kinda mean to your readers, that's all I'm trying to say.
7183891
I'm sorry, I just don't follow. I truly don't understand how I'm being mean. Do I really need to spend time pointing out that in the harsh light of day she may not be as excited for something that she was for in the heat of the moment? I just kinda thought that would be obvious from the way she was acting.
I just don't know what further to say.
7183931 I'm so sorry I didn't want to say 'mean' as being a bad person. my brain over-analyzed it to much and all I wanted was for the over emotional Scootaloo line in the last chapter in the last story to have some meaning in this story. again I do apologize on my stupidity.
7183971
It's cool, no worries! We all go a little overboard sometimes, Cadance knows I do!
But do remember, the story's not over yet. There's still a lot of time for things to happen, and maybe that line will have some meaning eventually. Scoots is still kind of in panic mode at the moment, but she won't be forever.
7183971
Yeah, I'm a little confused now too. I thought you where trying to point out a contradiction.
7183992 I'm also sorry that I doubled your name on it, it was to go to Pusspuss but it shows numbers instead of names and that got me screwed up to.
thank you for understanding, it's a trait I picked up from my brother.