Scootaloo's New Home

While flying home from practicing, Rainbow Dash finds Scootaloo trudging through the snow. She then learns of Scootaloo's mother, and decides to take her in. However, she must enlist the help of Twilight to succeed.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 10 )

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hollow

hollow #1 · Jan 22nd, 2016 · · ·

I kind of like the idea behind this. However, some of your sentences are redundent like,

Once they arrived, Rainbow quickly flew inside. Once inside, Rainbow crouched fown to let Scootaloo off.

I'd Just start that second sentence with Rainbow.

Little Ling

Little Ling #2 · Jan 22nd, 2016 · · ·

6861482 Somehow, I missed that. I appreciate you pointing it out. It is now fixed.

RaylanKrios

RaylanKrios #3 · Jan 22nd, 2016 · 3 · ·

This feels just a little too similar to the opening of I'll Always be Here for You...you may want to be careful about crossing that line between plagiarism and inspiration.

Prince Ecosis

Prince Ecosis #4 · Jan 22nd, 2016 · · ·

Well, I must say, you have made my D'aww meter completely explode.

Great story so far! I absolutely love Scootadoption stories. I just advise you to check your punctuation and sentence flow so you aren't criticized too much about it.

Little Ling

Little Ling #5 · Jan 22nd, 2016 · · ·

6861778 It is similar. I have already talked to The Abyss about it. The story will be different, I will be sure of it, as will he! I did pretty much use his beginning as a place for me to get started. Thank you for reading the chapter, and taking the time to comment.

Little Ling

Little Ling #6 · Jan 22nd, 2016 · · ·

6861887 Okay, thank you. I will be sure to have some one else proofread as well, and I will be aware of punctuation and flow in the future. Thank you for reading, and taking the time to comment, I truly appreciate the feedback!

Prince Ecosis