• Published 2nd Jan 2016
  • 28,606 Views, 1,873 Comments

Blank - Carrier of Heartbreak

A dying young man discovers that his life may not be what he thought it was, and the seemingly innocent TV show he watches in his hospital room may not be fictitious.

  • ...

S1E3: My Biggest Fans

Twilight sat down next to the foreign being that had been so rudely dumped out onto the floor of her room. Was this really him? Was her Ryan sitting on the floor with her? Wasn't he just dead a moment ago? And imaginary?

A very hesitant hoof was raised and then lowered again, placing itself upon the human's slowly expanding chest. Twilight's hoof followed his sternum as it lowered, the sound of an exhale leaving Ryan's nose. He...he's alive. His heart is beating. He's breathing. Ryan's okay. The sheer joy that went through the Alicorn was enough to almost cause another surge of magical energy. She had done it! She saved her fictional friend's life! And all it took was for her to...bring him into existence. Um...oh, hay, think about it later. Look at his chest! It's moving!

Twilight excitedly leaned her head down, pressing the entire left side of her face onto the spot where she could feel his heart beating. She closed her eyes and listened, her body trembling with barely contained happiness.

*Inhale and lift*


*Exhale and sink*


*Inhale and lift*

Twilight just wanted to stay here forever. Ryan was here, in her room, alive and well. At least, she thought he was all right...oh hay, what if the infection followed him here?! She could not go through seeing him slowly decay on a hospital bed, especially if he was physically there while it was happening. Seeing it in a projection was bad enough. Twilight couldn't trust herself not to ponynap him or something if that happened.

She quickly charged up her horn and cast a veil of white light over the unconscious man. It was a very simple form of medical magic, made to check up on a patient to find ailments, but not to actually heal anything. If something was found to be wrong, then a more potent healing spell could be used. The problem with medical magic was that it oftentimes drained way too much energy from the pony that was casting it. The scanning spell, however, was very easy to control and taxed the caster very little.

The winged Unicorn felt herself looking into the conditions of his body. The spell had placed her consciousness alongside his, so that she could feel whatever he had felt. So if he was in pain, she would know where to start applying help. To her surprise, however, she found absolutely nothing wrong. He was just sleeping, and rather peacefully too. Twilight could almost feel herself dozing just from sharing a bit of comfort the sleeping human was feeling. Her sleepiness was pushed away as Spike finally managed to bash his little purple body against the door hard enough to break the lock and send himself flying into the room with her. He flew head-over-tail for a moment before he scrambled up and looked around, expecting there to be some kind of monster attacking his sister figure.

...Uh...well, he was half right. There was some kind of being there next to Twilight, but it was just laying there, snoozing comfortably. No attacking, no evil monologues, no disaster. Actually, her room was in utter chaos but it was always some sort of messy. Spike had to fight for the words that weren't even there to begin with.

"...Uh...is, what? You? That...what?" he stuttered, looking back and forth between Twilight and the monster. Her face was frozen with the rest of her body. Obviously words were hating her just as much as Spike in that moment.

"He! Uh...this is, Ryan, he...uh-EEP!" she exclaimed, jumping a bit at the end. The change in tone was no shock for Spike. The mysterious being had stirred in its sleep, curling itself around Twilight's foreleg. It then proceeded to snuggle her leg as if it were the cuddliest teddy bear in existence, and the act of not cuddling it would cause it immense pain. Spike was horrified. The monster was attacking her! Trying to eat her leg! Then it was going to eat him! Oh sweeeet Celeeeeeeeeeee-!

Why wasn't Twilight running?! She needed to get away from it before it hurt her! But no, she sat there, her eyes locked onto the cuddle monster, her mouth slowly spreading into a wide grin. Spike flinched, a new sound tingling in his ears. What the hay was that? It was quiet at first, almost inaudible. Then the volume increased, giving off a high pitched squeaking sound. As the sound grew, Spike realized that the sound was coming from Twilight.


Spike stared for a few seconds, his ears ringing. Twilight basked in the afterglow of her sound.


-was the loudest and longest 'Squee!' the poor young drake had ever heard. He didn't even think something of such intensity would even be possible. With Spike's sensitive ears, he had been trapped in himself, cowering before the almighty squeak while it had its way with his head. He wanted to recover for longer, but Twilight was in danger! The monster had latched onto her now and it was controlling her mind so she couldn't run away!

The dragon rushed forward, leaping onto the unknown creature's side and letting loose a hailstorm of powerful punches and devastating kicks.

...well, he pushed it a little. This thing was massive! Spike was about to trying blowing fire on it when Twilight caught him in her magic and lifted him into the air by the tail. Oh no! The monster was controlling Twilight and using her magic as a weapon! How devious!

"Spike, stop that this instant! You'll hurt him!" she reprimanded, looking him square in the eye. Spike squirmed around, trying to break free from the mind-controlled sister of his.

"You have to fight it Twilight! I know you're still in there!" he shouted, tears starting to well in his eyes. If you've never been upside down while crying, it's a strange feeling. The tears run up your face instead of down. Twilight lifted an eyebrow and sighed at the confused baby dragon.

"Spike, I'm fine," she said softly, trying to get him to calm the hay down. "It's not a monster, it's not trying to eat me, and it's actually 'he,' not 'it.'" Spike sniffled, looking at his caretaker closely for the first time. Those eyes...that look...yep, that was Twilight. No monster could just recreate the same expressions that he saw on her face every day. Okay...so maybe she wasn't as mind-controlled as he thought.

"H-he...?" Spike asked, still trembling a little. Twilight smiled at him and levitated him so that he was facing the right way up again before she set him back down on the floor next to the sleeping giant. He took a few steps back, eyeing the 'he' nervously. It was then that he noticed a glint towards the thing's face. Spike's gaze moved up the foreign body before it locked onto the gaze of the creature himself. The young drake froze. Oh sweet mother of ruby pudding he's awake!


Well that was officially the weirdest thing I've ever done seen. Did that TV swallow me? I mean, sure I've heard of vore before, but that was ridiculous. I'd bet my left nut that nobody had ever made a vore picture of a television set eating somebody.

...okay, maybe I wouldn't. Damn, internet, you scary.

All that was running through my mind now was comfort. I was warm. No more pain. I was happy. Is this was being dead felt like? If so, I think I can wait around here for awhile. At least until the rest of my family can join me. I guess I could just snuggle up to this warm thing for eternity. It was really soft to the touch~

Uh, hold up. Touch? As in hands? Physical hands, arms, legs, genitals? Check to all of those. Somehow, I was still physical. Do you retain your body in the afterlife? What would be the point of that? Surely, if I was dead, I wouldn't need to breathe. Okay, stop breathing now.

Hmm, no pain yet. Maybe this really is the afterlife.


Oh, wait, there it is. Well damn, I still needed oxygen. But that meant...I'm alive? How? I felt myself die! That was really weird! I was...oh shit. I felt myself die. That thought right there was enough to wake me the rest of the way up. Oh, and something scrambling on my right side to tickle my ribs wasn't helping my sleep either. Wait, something was touching me, I was alive and I wasn't in pain! Did something happen at the last moment to save me and they had found the cure? If I was alive, no other explanation made sense. That thing touching me...my family must be right there with me! I was okay! No more sad, no more crying! Oh, the fluttery feeling dancing in my gut almost made me do a The Three Stooges-esque floor spin right then and there. I just needed to open my eyes and-!

Oh, nope. So much nope. What the hell was that thing? It was purple and green and had spines and...holy shit, that was Spike. From that show I watched in my hospital room. Thinking of which, where the hell was my bed? Where the hell was the hospital? My surroundings no longer consisted of whiteness and sterility. Now there was closer to a rainbow throwing up in my eyeballs. Holy hell, was I still tripping and I was actually taking awhile to die?

Spike met my stare and his eyes shot open. He looked like he was really afraid of me or something. Why? Had I done something while tripping balls to scare him? He'd seen much bigger and scarier than a weak little human, right? The dragon began to shiver and point at me. Who was he trying to warn? The only beings in here were him, me, and this purple leg. Purple. Leg. Oh.

I looked slowly up at the purple Alicorn princess I was latched firmly to. Those years sleeping with Sarah must have made me...pretty grabby in my sleep. In my ultimate sleep wisdom, I had for some reason decided to spoon the leg of the main character of the show. Oh, she was still looking at Spike. Her face looked confused. Good, she hadn't seen that I was awake yet. But that all changed when the Fire Nation attacked.

...no, she actually just looked down at me in her effort to decode her assistant's mumbling. Our eyes met and we both froze. Oh shit, please don't kill me, drug trip Twilight. I'm sorry I spooned your leg! She didn't make a move. That was good, I could work with stunned silence. Okay, I needed a way to break the ice with her so that she wouldn't assume I was hostile. Drug trip or not, this could get scary. I didn't want my last few moments to be filled with a dream of me being chased around Equestria by an angry Twilight Sparkle. With that in mind, I cleared my throat and spoke.

"Uhh...hey Twilight, hey Spike," I whispered, afraid of frightening them. The Asparagus Plant story could be used later if need be, but for right now, calm was key. Unfortunately, that was apparently not the smart thing to do. Both Twilight and her assistant went wide-eyed. I flinched back, assuming I did something offensive. What, was I supposed to refer to her as Princess? I didn't get the answer I wanted, however. The only thing I got was an unconscious purple Alicorn falling onto me.

I let out a pained 'Oof!' as I tried to roll into a more comfortable position. A few feet away, I could hear another 'thud.' I guess Spike was out too. Well shit. I knocked out a Princess of Equestria and her loyal assistant just by greeting them. What kind of powers did I hold here? If me saying 'hi' was enough to render a powerful Alicorn and a dragon unconscious, I wonder what my Asparagus Story would do...Oh god. No, with great power comes great responsibility. I must never use that story again. It would probably cause the universe to eat itself or something stupid like that.

I rested there for a few moments and took a good look at the room. Okay, we were in her Crystal Castle or whatever it was called. I saw it during one episode that was playing in the hospital, but the rest depicted her living in some kind of tree. Goddamn channel playing all the episodes out of order. If I had a list of things I was going to get revenge on, that channel would be at the top.

Oh well, no use dwelling on that now. The floor was somehow not super painful to be laying on, despite how hard it was. In fact, the air around me even felt...comfortable and warm. It's just air, why was it comfy? The super warm Alicorn laying on my chest was just adding to the coziness. Unfair, super adorable things, unfair.

I shook my head and sat up, holding Twilight carefully in my arms. Didn't want to knock her off and make her hit her head or anything. Then she truly might destroy me. No, not just destroy me. She would take me apart and have a fist...er, hoof-fight with every one of my individual cells. It was then that another thought struck me.

I was holding her. With my arms. I could move. I knew I should have expected this, the whole situation being a veritable mind fuck, but damn if it didn't feel amazing to be able to move around under my own power again. Oh hell, my legs worked too. Where were those floodgates? Not anywhere around here, that's for sure. The tears of relief fell heavily down my face, but I felt no shame. Before the whole infection, I always refused to cry. It was always just easier to laugh any pains away. But now, after everything that had happened, I had become a natural at sobbing. It felt good at the time so I was going to sob. Being manly can shove it, I could move again. I deserved at least a few minutes of happy tears.

...okay, maybe it was more like twenty minutes. But still! It was nice to cry. Too many emotions bubbling up. Trying to keep them from spilling over only worked when I had my family there to catch me. My family...I hope they'll be okay without me. The least I could do for them was to be comfortable in my final moments. I looked down at the gently snoring pony in my arms and smiled. She was soft and warm and probably really nice to cuddle with. Probably one of the best beings I could be hugging during my death. I looked over at the young dragon passed out next to my feet. I rolled my eyes once.

"Oh, why the hell not? Come here, you," I said, leaning down and pulling the unconscious Spike into my embrace with Twilight. Okay, now just need a place to rest and wait for my brain to finally expire. My eyes wandered over the room, taking note of how extremely fucked it was. Did Twilight fail a spell or something? Jesus, it looked like a bomb went off in here. Weird, nothing looks burnt.

My gaze fell on a pile of blankets and pillows against the wall near Twilight's bed. My smile shot up. That was perfect. Pillow mountain, here we come! I got up, surprised that I didn't immediately fall over again. My legs had been useless for what, a month now? How were they still strong enough to walk? Oh, yeah. Tripping balls. Forgot there for a second.

I shrugged to myself and carried the two unconscious beings over to the wall with me. They were surprisingly light. I must have been super strong in my subconscious or something. I reached the mountain of fluff and snuggles, setting my two friends down first. Finding a blanket to cover us was easy enough, being that there were about twenty of them covering the floor around us. I smiled down at the characters in my head and knelt down next to them, looking for a good spot. The comfiest location in the mound was quickly found. Oh, man were these blankets awesome. Like the softest fluff I had ever felt before times a few thousand. Perfect for my last resting spot before my brain gave out.

I smiled happily at the ceiling, one of the blankets wrapped snugly over Twilight, Spike and myself. I was happy. This was okay. At least my last moments in my head were that of unimaginable comfort. I rolled onto my side, reaching over and wrapping my arms around Twilight. Being the lightweight little thing that she was, her body slid over to mine with no resistance. A tear ran down my face as I snuggled my Alicorn Pillow Pet, the fingers on my left hand running through her mane. Well, damn. Even her mane was super soft. I had been around enough equines in my life to know that manes were kind of rough most of the time. But Twilight? Almost as soft as the blankets.

"Eat your heart out, Emily," I chuckled to my myself. If she had been a fan of this show like I suspected, she would probably kill to be able to do what I was doing right now. Ah, well. Might as well obey my heavy eyelids. It must finally be my time. I let out one last yawn before I let sleep overtake me, Twilight snuggled firmly against my chest. I didn't even feel her one wing wrap around me. Bye, world~


Today was not a good day in Ponyville. There was not a single pony walking around in the morning sun with a happy expression. It seemed OtherWorld was quite the hit in the small rural town. Pretty much every pony around had tuned in to see last night's episode. Sure, OtherWorld was popular, but in cities like Canterlot and Manehattan, it was still only catching on. Instead of a nearly 90% viewership rating like Ponyville, most other towns usually hovered right around 40-50%.

This amount of viewership and fan loyalty showed in the small town. Last night's episode had ruined countless ponies. The merchant stands that usually littered the streets were mostly vacant. The calls of ponies trying to sell their goods were now limited to only a few lucky souls that had been unable or unwilling to watch the show that aired the night before. Even some of the most loyal fans in town had skipped the episode. They had the foresight to know something bad was coming. The summary of the events that took place were bad enough...but most of the ponies had watched it. They had seen Ryan's heart monitor go flat the first time, they had heard his screams of agony. The sight of Ryan's family crying over him as he passed away for the second time...the ponies with families were crushed. They imagined themselves in that bed, or their children, or spouse. And when it was over, only to realize that Sarah was pregnant with Ryan's child...

Ponies were not built to comprehend misery of that scale. The worst thing that usually happened on any given day was maybe somepony being in a mood and saying a few swear words. Sure, their town was often subject to monster attacks and such, being so close to the Everfree Forest. But those were different. They had adapted to those already, had a system in place to help get the town back up to 100% in no time at all in the event of another attack. And ponies were rarely hurt by these attacks. Usually they were just scared or confused.

Last night's episode of OtherWorld had taken everypony's favorite hooman and tortured him. Killed him twice. The levels of pain that were shown running across his face...by Celestia, were the creators sick? It was almost sadistic.

Why, it had taken its toll so harshly that the sun rose with the moon still in the sky. The two galactic orbs sat there next to each other for at least half an hour before somepony had decided to tell the moon it was morning. It slowly sank below the horizon, almost sadly. Truly, the season finale had done exactly what the ponies at OW wanted. Even the moon was upset.


Back at the farmhouse, the rest of the Elements of Harmony were just stirring from the cuddle pile that had slept in overnight. Sleep had not come too easily to any of them that night, so they opted to remain in their hug. At least until they recovered enough. The first one awake was Pinkie. When she got up, she didn't hop around and wake the others, didn't make any loud noises, and didn't even repoof her mane. She just walked slowly out of the pile and out the door. She didn't want to leave her friends in this state, but she had work. Or did she? Mrs. Cake did say that Sugarcube Corner might very well be closed today so that she could restock her supplies. Pinkie didn't know. Just to be sure, she walked slowly through town.

Even through her somber mood, she noticed the lack of smiles in town. No...please, not all of Ponyville. These were all her friends! And none of them were smiling...they carried the same bleak expression that she herself was wearing. Normally, this would call for one of Pinkie's super giant Ponyville-wide cheering up parties. But how would her friends take that? Ryan's dead, let's party! No, that wouldn't work...Ryan may have been imaginary, but he still meant a lot to many ponies. He was real enough to make a difference to everypony. That alone was enough to be worth the mourning that came with his loss.

Before she realized it, she had walked right by Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie smiled sheepishly to herself as she turned around and doubled back to where she had meant to go in the first place. The lights were on inside, she saw. Maybe they were open?

Pinkie lived inside the top floor on the bakery usually, but the Cakes were very used to the pink party pony sleeping over other places, and were well versed in what Gummy needed each night. It wasn't much really. Just some food and some water to splash around in.

Pinkie reached the door to the bakery and let herself in, the bell above her letting of a little jingle. The sound was so familiar that she usually ignored it. Today, it was nice. A little sound to remind her that everything that had happened last night didn't really happen. It was just a story. The real world was here, with her sweet treats and her Gummy and her bell.

"Good morning, Pinkie dear!" Pinkie heard Mrs. Cake call to her. Pinkie smiled and soaked it in. This was where she belonged. Not moping about a character that was only alive in someone else's head. Her place was here, in the kitchen...okay, that sounded meaner than she meant it to.

"G'mornin' Cakes!" she called back, some of the luster returning to her voice. Her mane also felt a bit more poofy. She thought for another second. Wait...alive in someone else's head. He was imaginary, right? Who's to say Ryan can't just live on in her imagination? Yeah, that could work! He would be safe inside the mind of Pinkie, always there for her when she needed him. Oh, this was great!

Her mane felt 120% poofier now. She needed to tell her friends about this! They could each help carry a piece of Ryan with them! But unfortunately, work came first. She had just started walking towards her work station when a blue leg stopped her. Pinkie look over to see Mrs. Cake holding her back, smiling gently. The pink mare tilted her head.

"What's up, Mrs. Cake?" she asked. Her boss just smiled at her.

"Not today, dearie," she said kindly. "I've got a lot of supplies to pick up, and I might have to go farther than Ponyville to get it. Seems most places are closed up today. Apparently you were right about everypony being too tired." Pinkie flinched. Mrs. Cake was one of the lucky ones who hadn't seen last night's episode.

"It's...not quite that...well, it is, but it's a bit more," Pinkie started explaining. It was Cup Cake's turn to tilt her head at Pinkie. Cup had been out earlier and hadn't seen anybody out. All the shops around town were closed. What had happened?

"What's wrong, dear?" Mrs. Cake asked. Pinkie shuffled nervously, not wanting to have to relive the memory of Ryan's death again. She was just starting to move away from her sadness. Falling back in would hurt not only her, but also her friends. They were counting on her to bring some light back to their day!

"It's...Ryan died..." Pinkie sighed, looking down at the floor. Mrs. Cake took a step back in surprise. They actually killed him? But from what Pinkie had told her, he was really popular! Why would they do that? They killed off a character that most of the town seemed to root for. Was that why...was that why all the shops were closed? Why barely anypony was outside? Just how did they get so many ponies to care so deeply about a character in a story?

"Oh, I'm so sorry, dearie," Mrs. Cake cooed, giving Pinkie yet another hug. This show, whatever it was, was not good for her. She felt Pinkie return the hug, tighter than she was expecting. Pinkie was...determined? That's...that's good! But what was she determined about? She looked up to see that Pinkie did indeed have an encouraging smile on her face. The smile spread to the blue mare. This was the Pinkie she knew.

"Thanks, Mrs. Cake, but I've already got an idea on how to cheer everypony up!" Pinkie said happily, giving a little bounce. Pinkie was bouncing once again. Mrs. Cake was so relieved that she also shared in her movement. It was not destined to be, however. Cup lifted her hoof up to Pinkie, a fiercely determined expression now covering her face as well. Pinkie caught on and nodded, giving her boss a firm hoofbump.

"Do your thing, Pinkie," Cup Cake whispered. Pinkie smiled wide and took off out the door in a torpedo of pink. This party was going to need to be big. To be able to reach out to everypony at once to explain how they could keep Ryan alive. They would need space, and lots of it. Somewhere tall and fabulous and open...oh, duh. Twilight's castle thingy! It was huge! Would it be big enough for all the ponies hurt by this wave of sadness? Twilight would know. Also Twilight would have to give permission if Pinkie was going to use her castle like that. Well that would be easy! Twilight would do it because this was becoming a major friendship problem! Ponies were sad all over town, possibly all over Equestria, because they lost their friend Ryan!

Twilight's residence came into view in a few moments. Didn't it usually take longer to get here? ...oh, yeah, Pinkie was traveling at the speed of laughter. She should name her own form of Sonic Rainboom! Sonic...uh...nah, got nothin' right now. Check back later, kay?



Pinkie flattened against the door to Twilight's castle. Oopsie. She pulled herself out of the paper-thin shape she had become and giggled to herself.

"Heh heh heh...uh, whooops~" she chortled. It took but a second for Pinkie to gather herself and rush inside. Did she knock? Well, she did smash herself flat against the door. Did that count as knocking?

...This was a friendship emergency, it counted. Okay, now to find Twilight. Where could she be? This castle was absolutely ginormic. Main throne room? Nope. Hallways? Nope. Wait, what time was it again?

...Early morning. Silly Pinkie! Twilight sleeps in late all the time! Well, up up up to Twilight's room!


Ugh...stupid sun shining in my eyes. Can't a guy just wake up naturally? Uggghhhh mornings. Well, at least this bed is nice and warm.


Hold up just a sec.

I just woke up. As in, alive. Conscious once more. And I can still feel warmth. I am NOT dead and this is NOT my bed! What the hell is so warm? It feels like it's wrapped around me. What did I do now? Think, Ryan, think. Okay, memories, line up for roll call. Childhood memories? Kind of here, sir! Good, teenage years? The sober ones present, sir! Fair enough. Hospital memories? Oh, very present. Right. Okay, last but not least, memories from last night?

...Memories from last night?

Oh, there they are, crossing the finish line in dead last place. Drop down and give me fifty, memories from last ni-HOLY SHIT I'M CUDDLING WITH TWILIGHT FUCKING SPARKLE. Okay, stay calm. Don't freak out, don't freak out. Just back away slowly from the soft snuggle horse and-

Oh. Twilight was wrapped around me. No biggie. No problemo. Just gotta slide myself slooowly out of her warmth and-


"TWILIIIIIIIIGHT!" shouted a voice from somewhere down the hall from Twilight's room. Goddamn was that loud. Might have even been loud enough to wake up-

"Gyah!" was all I heard before I was sent sprawling, the purple Alicorn that had previously been clinging to me now hovering near the ceiling. Luckily I landed on the bed. Didn't want to crack my skull open just as I managed to stay alive. I looked down past my body towards the space that used to hold the door to Twilight's room. A pink blur happened. No, I'm not kidding. That's the best way I could describe the way Pinkie Pie chose to enter. Just, zooooom, to hell with personal space.

Pinkie was on top of Twilight in an instant, riding her. She must have been weightless or some shit, because Twilight just gave her a look of exasperation. It looked like the added pony put no extra strain on the purple pony's wings.

A weird tingling sensation started in my ear. What the hell was that? It was like an annoying buzz but it was getting louder. Was there a bug in there? The buzzing was becoming loud enough for me to start deciphering...words. Oh, it was Pinkie talking. Waaay too fucking fast for my poor human ears. Do ponies need to breathe? Because this little pink thing was becoming strong proof that the answer to that was a big fat 'NO.' Twilight looked just as confused as I felt. Pinkie took a breath.

"It's about Ryan!" she finally managed to say a speed that wasn't ludicrous. My head shot up at this. Ryan was my name. Why did she know my name? Twilight knew my name, probably, she had been shouting it at me when the TV ate me. But why Pinkie? I really needed to know this, so I spoke up.

"What about me?" I asked, staring at the pink terror. Okay, she was still adorable and such, but her antics were scary on the show. To be right there witnessing them...yeesh. Pinkie froze when she heard my voice. She then very slowly turned her head in my direction. Twilight did the same, her eyes widening. Why so surprised, your Highness? It's not like you tried to absorb me with your body while I was sleeping or anything big like that.

"R...Ryan...?" Pinkie choked out. Oh shoot, tears. Not good! What did I do this time?! I didn't get more than half a second to comprehend the situation before I was consumed by pink. It was in my mouth. Oh god, it's in my eyes! Not the pink, not the pink! Aaaaghhhh! I was made aware of her tears as they smeared up against my face and neck. Oh boy, why did I feel like I was tilting? Gravity, don't do this to me! I can't even see!

Gravity did it to me. So I fell off Twilight's original bed and onto the hard floor underneath. Pinkie weighed very little, but it still wasn't pleasant. I was still pretty heavy, after all. I let out an 'Oomph!' and groaned. Pinkie was still wrapped around my head, sobbing loudly. She made it seem like my head was some kind of holy grail and if she let go, it would all but disappear. It might, I don't know.

I was still thinking about the whole soul-being-eaten-by-television thing. I hadn't even begun to process the whole pony thing besides for the fact that I didn't really mind it.

"Pinkie! He can't breathe!" shouted Twilight. I could hear her hooves rushing over to where we lay. It felt like something started tugging at Pinkie, and therefore at my head. Um, ouch, kind of. I sat up, having to use a mental map of my location since I couldn't exactly see. Pinkie's warm, fluffy body remained attached to me in a vice grip. For how light this pony was, she was fucking strong.

Pinkie was finally pried away after a purple mist surrounded her. She didn't fight it after it got hold of her, and let it carry her a few feet away. She was no longer sobbing, but her misty eyes were locked onto me in wonder. How much more crying was I going to cause? Even what I assumed to be a hallucination just consisted of me making adorable ponies cry. I must be a sick bastard.

Then her face did something I didn't expect. It grew. The smile that was spreading across her lips made her head actually grow. Okay, now I'm scared. Before I could manage to run away, she shouted at me.

"I did it! It worked!" she cheered, dancing in her misty air prison. Both Twilight and I were thoroughly confused by this sudden change in behavior. I was more confused because I was surrounded by cartoon ponies. And apparently they had mood swings. Fucking grand.

"Pinkie...what?" Twilight managed to ask. I nodded my head. Might as well let her ask the questions. If Pinkie got excited and clamped onto my face again I might not ever get her off. Pinkie's grin grew and she looked down at Twilight.

"I brought Ryan back with my imaaajeeenashun~!" Pinkie sang. Twilight and I took turns blinking at this. The purple Alicorn made a spinning motion with her hoof, signaling Pinkie to continue. The pink mare did so happily. "I figured that since Ryan was imaginary in the first place, he couldn't die as long as he lived on in our heads instead!"

I took offense to this.

"I am not imaginary!" I huffed, crossing my arms. Silly pink cartoon horse, thinking I was the imaginary one. "You two are from a TV show! You're the imaginary ones! Oh, yeah, Spike too. So, uh, you three!" The two ponies gave me a confused glance. Twilight looked down first, a sadness now emanating from her. She moved closer to me before she leapt up on her back legs, her front ones shooting around my neck in an adorable pony human-esque hug. Without thinking, I reciprocated said hug. Hey, go to hell, hugs are awesome. And these ponies were great huggers.

"Ryan..." she sniffled. Aww, what is it, cute one? "I'm sorry, but...you really are imaginary..." Twilight hugged me harder, trying her best to support me.


I gave her an unimpressed frown. Then I kissed the top of her head. She immediately shot back, looking at me with a face as red as Dash's element. Pinkie was giggling happily behind us, clapping her hooves together in delight. Twilight was frantically searching my face for some kind of clue as to why I did what I did. I realized she wasn't getting my point and sighed.

"Did that really happen?" I asked calmly, watching her. She though for a moment longer than she should have, then nodded. I smirked back to her. "Then I'm not imaginary." She blinked once, then sighed tiredly.

"I get that you're real now, but you came from the mind of somepony," Twilight tried explaining. I shook my head at her. Nope.

"Uh-uh, pretty sure I came from my mom," I countered, my arms still crossed. Look at me, having an argument with a purple pony princess about where I came from. Was this real? Who knows? Twilight gave me a pleading look.

"Please, just work with me here, Ryan. Okay, yeah, that. We," she stopped for a second, motioning to Pinkie Pie and herself, "both knew your name before you said anything!" I raised my eyebrow. That was what she was starting out with?

"Okay," I began, giving Twilight a few seconds of feeling smart before I continued. "So did I." Twilight tilted her head, sorting through her memories for the reference I was making. Then it hit her.

"Hey! How did you know my name? And Spike's?" she asked, getting loud suddenly. I slid back along the ground, silently hoping she didn't lose control of her magic and turn me into hay or something. I didn't want to get eaten again. The TV was bad enough. Damn I need to get over that shit.

"You were on a TV show that I saw a few times back at the hospital," I explained plainly. Ha! Take that, purple guy. Twilight flinched at the mention of hospital. Wait, did she know about that? And Pinkie Pie said something about me dying! How the hell did they know?

"That's...quite strange, honestly. I want to look more into that, but not right now," Twilight said calmly to me. It seemed she was trying to gauge my reaction, in case I decided to do anything crazy. I don't think she understood how much I just didn't give a flying fuckelberry right now. I still wasn't quite convinced I wasn't dead. And I was becoming more sure than ever that I was just insane. Twilight continued.

"I promise you I'm not lying, Ryan, you're from a story that's been going on for the past 4 years or so. I mean, technically you're famous!" Twilight exclaimed with a hopeful smile. Aha, trying to butter me up, eh? Not going to work here, pony. Not without copious amounts of cuddles that is.

...What? I was still a little tired.

"Yay, famous among cartoon characters!" I cheered sarcastically. Twilight puffed her cheeks in the most adorable display of mock intimidation that I'd ever seen. Must...pinch...those cheeks...

No. I had a better idea.

As she puffed her cheeks to their full size, I pretended to get really scared of her. Not just a whimper or two, either. This was the whole package, included sliding back in panic, covering my eyes and pleading for my life at the hooves of this almighty powerful Alicorn. To top it all off, I went into a fetal position and started fake-crying. Sell it, Ryan, sell it.

Twilight's face immediately deflated as she gasped, her front legs covering her mouth. What had she done? Poor Ryan just got zapped into existing and she used her cheek fluff on him! He must be so scared...heh, I'm a genius.

At some point, Twilight's magic wore off and Pinkie was let loose. Her first action was of course to run over and check on me. I could feel her hooves wrapping around me in a supportive cuddle. Jackpot! I sniffled pathetically, turning around to hug her back. I was even shivering! Man am I good at this. Now if only...


There is it. Now I had two brightly colored ponies snuggling the life out of me and it was amazing. Twilight was busy repeating 'sorry' over and over and over again. Pinkie was busy...Pinkie was smelling me for some reason. Whatever, it's Pinkie. I wonder how many other ponies I could possibly get to cuddle with while I was stuck here.

"Twi? You in there?" I heard a southern drawl say from the doorway of Twilight's room. Speak of the devil. I could hear more hooves moving closer. Seemed to be...three more? And the gentle beating of wings accompanied these steps. So maybe four more. Oh, the rest of the Elements were here to cuddle too? The more then merrier! I smiled and sat up, dropping my scared act.

"Hey, guys!" I greeted them enthusiastically. Twilight and Pinkie were still snuggled into me, unaware of the new visitors.

...Oh, they're frozen. That seemed familiar.




Cool, I'm five for six in making ponies faint by greeting them. What do I win?