Chapter 7 - Quid Pro Quo, Clarice
“So how did the map know?” I muttered to myself.
“What was that, my advisor?” Celestia asked as she turned to me. She was sitting in her throne, and I was beside her. I promptly shook myself out of my reprieve.
“Oh, er, nothing, your highness. I was just pondering something,” I replied. We had just finished up with another petitioner. I’d been called in and was just about to depart back to my office when I got to thinking.
Twilight and the others had been alerted to Starlight Glimmer’s equality cult by the odd magical map that now sat in Twilight’s new castle. It had alerted them by suggesting that they go to where the town was. It did nothing to tell them why they needed to go there. The same could be said for all the other times it had activated. It always knew when a problem was going to occur, or if there was serious imminent threat to harmony. It alerted them all to Starlight’s plan to spread her nonsensical message by force, and it had notified them of a few other incidents. The question was how?
Equestria is a far cry from a police state. Aside from the few remaining emergency acts from back after the Royal Wedding, as well as the typical DORA type legislation, Equestria did little to invade its citizen’s privacy. So how could this map thing possibly work? It needed to know what was happening, and be able to both determine if there was a threat, as well as prioritise the danger. Most computers on Earth couldn’t perform that kind of task, not over an entire country.
“What was it you were pondering then? You’ve been sitting there lost in thought ever since young Braeburn left.” I thought for a moment, unsure of whether it would be right of me to ask Celestia about it so directly. After all, on some occasions in the past, she had kept some pretty important matters under her crown.
“Twilight’s map,” I replied at length. “I’m trying to understand how it could work. I can’t even think of a magical explanation for it. I was just curious.” Celestia smiled.
“Well,” she said. “I suppose it is fair that you know. You are supposed to ensure I run Equestria in a fair and just way after all. Though I fear I cannot fully answer your questions. Perhaps we should go and see the source.”
Getting up from her throne and announcing a brief recess of the court, Celestia headed out of the throne room and bade me to follow her. We headed out of the main thoroughfares of the castle and towards some of the more private areas. Passing by the princesses’ personal dining room, the two of us made our way up several spiralling flights of stairs. Eventually, we arrived outside a door which bore the emblem of the moon; Luna’s chambers.
I have had a few dealings with Princess Luna in my time here. She’s Celestia’s younger sister and looks after Equestria during the night, raising and lowering the moon, as well as protecting everypony’s dreams. And that’s in addition to the Night Court she holds. She is a stark contrast to her older sister in almost every way. Some ponies see her as quite intimidating and stern compared to the ever maternal Celestia. She is also noticeably more direct in her actions.
When Celestia is confronted with a problem, she prefers to guide ponies to the solution, rather than solving the problem for them, Luna is the opposite. In fact, she regularly has voiced her dissension to Celestia about her use of Twilight and her friends to thwart several enemies of Equestria, particularly Tirek, who became as dangerous as he did for that exact reason.
Celestia rapped on the large doors with her hoof, prompting a few sounds of life from within.
“My sister should be able to answer your questions I think, Roger,” she said calmly. “I’ll head back to court now. I believe I have a meeting with the Prench ambassador.”
The solar alicorn then departed, leaving me to stand alone against the darker princess. Just before she passed out of sight, I called out to her a spot of advice that has been passed down through the generations.
“The Prench cannot be trusted!” That got her to giggle. A moment later, I heard the lock on the door unlatch.
The door opened and Princess Luna herself stepped out. She is a little shorter than me; round about Sombra’s height actually, and a little taller than Cadence. Still, she does have quite the intimidating visage. How my son has become so…well, borderline obsessive towards her I will never understand.
“Ah, Roger. What brings you to my door so late in the day?” Luna is awake through most of the day, but her body clock is somewhat reversed due to her nocturnal nature.
“Sorry to bother you, your highness,” I replied. “But I wanted to ask you a few questions about that map of Twilight’s. Celestia said you might have some insight.” Luna smiled slightly in a knowing way, before stepping back and inviting me in.
Heading inside, I found Luna’s room to be just a little messy. Star charts were scattered everywhere, as were maps of Equestria, as well as maps of its principle towns. Along the far wall was a small library of books. There was also a large blackboard in the far corner of her room (her bedroom, as with Celestia’s chambers, was beyond a second door) which was covered with notes and photographs of ponies I didn’t recognise. Finally, in the far corner was a telegraph ticker. I asked her how precisely the map worked; this is a summary of what she told me:
You are being watched. Equestria has a secret system. It spies on you every hour, of every day. I know because…I’ve seen it. It was originally designed to detect threats to harmony, but it sees everything; minor incidents involving ordinary ponies. The system identified them as irrelevant. Luna, however, disagreed. The Elements couldn’t act, so she decided she would. But she needed a partner; somepony with the skills to intervene. Kept hidden from the authorities, they work in secret. You’ll never find them, but victim or perpetrator, if your number’s up; they’ll find you.
Long story short; the map was part of a wider, passive, closed surveillance system, created by the Tree of Harmony. That was why it never gave details, only a general location, to preserve privacy. Princess Luna had assembled a rag tag band of brothers to help her, since she couldn’t always go off to sort these matters out herself. I suppose you could call them a backup to Twilight and her friends.
Firstly, there was an agent who, arguably, does not exist. Known normally as the gifted author, A.K. Yearling, Daring Do was Luna’s first choice for this kind of work. She’s done work for Celestia and Luna long before this, dealing with the likes of Ahuizotl and other wannabe megalomaniacs.
In addition to her, there was somepony closer to home. Whilst Luna would not give me her alias, a Special Agent Sweetie Drops of Equestrian Intelligence operated out of Ponyville, covering more domestic issues, and assisting with issues closer to Canterlot. She’d apparently been placed there for her own safety too; something about a bugbear, I think.
And finally, there was old Strong Shield. That didn’t surprise me in the slightest. With his espionage and surveillance training from his time in the Changeling Hive, as well as his shapeshifting ability, he made an excellent spy, as well as a contact inside the Royal Guard.
So, Luna had these three ponies acting on her behalf. My next question was how she knew where to go; I didn’t regularly see her going to Twilight’s home to examine the map. And it only activated when it summoned the Elements. To explain that, she pointed to the nearby maps, which were covered in various annotations.
“This,” Luna announced with some pride in her voice. “Is my version of Twilight Sparkle’s map. Not as decorative perhaps, but functional nonetheless.” I looked around; the only map to be seen was a typical OS map of Equestria.
“So how do you get your tip off?” Luna gestured to a small telegraph ticker in the corner.
“The map tells me through that,” she explained. She was about to continue, when all of a sudden, the ticker whirred into life. Luna promptly trotted over and examined the line carefully. Reading the message, I was quite confused. It read as follows:
‘Uncertainty, R, K. Family, A, M. Reflections, J, O’.
Thoroughly confused, I watched as the night princess moved between the various bookshelves, picking up books as she went. At length, she returned to the chalk board, and laid three books on a reading table.
“Right, ‘The Age of Uncertainty: Between the Griffon Wars’, ‘The Importance of Family’, and ‘Reflections on Mirror Technology’,” she said, more to herself than me. The princess began to flick through the books, her horn glowing a soft blue, looking at the first pages of each, and noting something down. With that done, she then turned to a map of Equestria and began to plot a point using coordinates. I was utterly bewildered by what she was doing. The princess quickly spotted my confusion and explained her little setup.
“For all its power, the map does not possess a voice. Telegraph is the only way it has been able to communicate with me after I reached out to it. But, given that the network is accessible to the general populace, it encodes its messages. You are familiar with a library’s cataloguing system, are you not?” I nodded. “The filing codes provide coordinates, allowing me to discern roughly where the problem lies.”
“Impressive,” I replied. I was genuinely impressed too. Whatever this map really was, it was certainly more than a little clever. Luna however, then changed her tone to become more serious.
“I hope you understand the importance of security here. Even with this set-up, I doubt ponies would be happy to find out this is how they are kept from harm.” I nodded, agreeing to keep quiet.
“Ain’t that the truth.” Ponies felt safe knowing that they were protected from the likes of Tirek or Chrysalis. However, they didn’t like to know how. If anypony found out about this, including Twilight, there would be an uproar and everything would be most likely shut down. And then, we’d be back at square one, blind to any future threats. Luna finished identifying the new location.
“Rainbow Falls,” she declared, sticking a pin in the map. “It’s not been that long since I visited there.” She then turned to me. “I’m sorry, Roger, but I need to handle this now. If I remember correctly, you were going down to Tartarus today.”
“Yes, your highness,” I replied. “I had best return to Celestia so she can open the portal.” Today would be something of a change to the norm. Starlight was becoming a major concern, with a reported sighting of her in Canterlot itself. Thus, we wanted to bring all our guns to bear. At the gala, I had already enlisted help from Octavia and her associates, and I was waiting to hear back from Marelone. Now though, at Celestia’s request, I would try to involve one of the few ponies who also eluded Equestria’s authorities; Sombra.
Arguably, it was a pointless move, Sombra had little reason to help me, or anypony else. I could hardly offer him a deal to reduce his sentence now could I? However, he himself had said he found me interesting; he had been the one to ask for me after all. Perhaps, with luck, I could convince him to help. It was certainly a better shot than asking Tirek.
“There’s no need to cross half the castle to see my sister,” Luna said. “I can easily open the portal for you here. Though I must ask you not take too long. I will need to depart soon.” Thanking Luna for her help, and her explanation, I allowed her to open the portal and hurried inside.
At this point, the charms of Tartarus have worn off on me. I’m no longer spooked by the sudden ominous noises, or the unsettling beings that call this place home. Still, I knew to tread carefully, particularly around the likes of Sombra. As I walked, I sung an old tune to myself.
On a cold and grey November morn,
As I left Belfast town.
In a cold and lonely prison van,
For Long Kesh I was bound.
But my spirit was unbroken,
My heart was still afire.
For soon I knew I would be with,
The men behind the wire.
Passing Tirek’s cell, and ignoring, what was at this point, the merely irritating centaur within, I made for Sombra’s little cave. Heading inside, I once again found a stone chair waiting for me, with the dark king standing behind the bars. However, this time, the illusion Sombra applied to his cell was different. Instead of the corrupted throne room that I had previously seen, the cell now seemed much smaller, appearing to be an old study of sorts, with dark stone walls, old wooden book cases, and small lectern for reading books. He was doing research.
“Hello, Sombra,” I said as I walked in. A good enough opening, he had addressed me informally the last time we spoke, so it made sense to do the same. He opened his eyes and smiled.
“Roger, so nice to see you again. Has it been a month already?” Damn, he already knew my visit was out of the usual routine. I wondered how, with no clocks or stars to measure the passage of time.
“No, I’m here to see you specially,” I replied, sitting down. I tried opening with a different subject. “Twilight showed me the article you wrote in Scientific Equestrian, on controlling the corrupting effects of dark magic.”
It was published under a pseudonym, naturally. It had been one of Sombra’s few requests besides my continued visits. All were checked carefully before they were sent out. Celestia even went as far as hiring somepony to play Sombra’s alias in interviews and the like. As with the map, it was probably better if ponies didn’t know that an insane unicorn king was still alive, and writing academic articles in his spare time.
“And?” Sombra enquired.
“Very interesting, even to a layman,” I replied. Sombra laughed and shook his head, his lion like mane swishing back and forth.
“You aren’t a laypony, Roger. For goodness sake, you are friends with three of the most advanced magic users of your time. I’m sure you’ve picked up more than most.” True, probably. Between the knowledge I needed to deal with the laws governing magic, and my son who never shuts up about it, I know quite a bit about magic. Enough to at least vaguely understand what Sombra wrote.
Sombra had complimented me, so I had to do the same; it made for an ideal opening.
“I need your advice, Sombra,” I said bluntly. Sombra however, got up and walked to the far wall, scanning the books on the shelves.
“Starlight Glimmer. You want to know where she’s hiding, don’t you?” he said knowingly.
“You evaded capture for almost as long as Tirek. I thought you might have some ideas.” He turned his head to look at me, evidently curious. I continued.
“I thought you might enjoy the challenge; a chance to see if you are smarter than her.” Sombra slowly turned around and walked back to the bars. I knew I’d made a bad move. He stopped just shy of the metal bars and stared me dead in the face. He spoke in a calm, quiet voice.
“Then, by implication, you and your princess friends are smarter than me, since it was they who put me here.” He snorted in vague disgust.
“I’m not smarter than you,” I replied, attempting damage control. Sombra however, cut me off.
“Then how do we find ourselves in our present roles?” he enquired. Well, I suppose there was a simple reason Sombra lost.
“You had certain…disadvantages.” Sombra looked half curious.
“Oh? What sort of disadvantages?” He smiled in that sick way he does when he knows he’s winning.
“You’re insane.” I did my best to get back on track. Sombra however, continued to block me.
“You will not persuade me with such compliments, nor with appeals to my intellectual vanity, Roger.” Ah, here was my chance. Sometimes it’s acquiescing rather than pushing them that gets results.
“I’m not trying to persuade you. Either you’ll help me or you won’t,” I said simply, keeping eye contact with him the whole time. Sombra sat down for a moment, and formed his hooves into a steeple, staring at them intently. Eventually, he broke from his reprieve.
“Is that her file there?” he asked, gesturing to the manila folder on my lap. I did my best to mask my relief, but I’m sure he picked up on it. Lighting up his horn, his black aura gently took the folder from my grasp. Opening the small lock on the file, he began to skim over the finer points.
“Hmm, this will take some time. I shall need privacy too,” he said. “I suggest you call back in a few days.” He then left me, going to the small lectern in his ‘study’, and levitating over a few books and some half-moon spectacles. With little else to do, and with him having apparently ended our conversation, I left.
Heading out again, I walked out of the portal and found myself back in Luna’s chambers, with the alicorn herself standing nearby. I thanked her for her help. Really, it was quite an inconvenience for her. She had to stay there, maintaining the portal, instead of doing anything else; she still had her little mission to direct off in Rainbow Falls. With that, she departed and I had a moment to think.
Sombra had, for whatever reason, probably his own amusement, or simply because I ‘complimented’ him, accepted my request for help. One of the finest minds in Equestria was now helping us determine where Starlight might be holed up. He would go over all the information we had on her, and hopefully offer up some insights. It wasn’t exactly a guarantee, but it was a start.
A few days later, in the early evening, Fluttershy dropped by my house. She had found another note on Cerberus’ collar. As ever, it was addressed to me. It merely stated that Sombra had completed his ‘evaluation’ and wanted to ‘compare notes’. Insha’Allah, that meant he had come up with something useful for me.
The next day, I decided to head straight down to Tartarus. Sombra would probably consider it rude of me if I didn’t come running. And there was no need to waste any time with pretences of delays. As ever, Celestia opened the portal, and I stepped through.
I followed the familiar route to Sombra’s cell. Sometimes I do wish that it was possible to move where the portal came out. But, for obvious security reasons, it had to be near the entrance and near Cerberus. Taking a moment, I went over to the great three headed dog. He seems to like me, having gotten used to my repeated visits. His three heads all lean down to be petted and to have his chins tickled. Really, he is like any other dog. Except it goes where it wants. And it sits where it wants. And it eats what it wants.
Making my way down the long passage and into the cell, I was confronted with another change. On every other occasion I have had to visit the psychopath, Sombra has always been waiting for me, either standing at the bars, staring unsettlingly in the direction I come from, or sitting on his imaginary throne, pretending he is still king. This time, it seemed as if I caught him off guard.
The backdrop was again that of his study, only this time, he was deeply engrossed in reading something, part of the file he borrowed I assumed. His eyes, whilst not glowing with dark magic, nonetheless sparkled with interest. A soft chuckle escaped him.
“Oh, very clever, my dear. Very clever,” he said to himself. “And yet so foolish and infantile. A pity. But still, useful.” I decided to startle him.
“Good morning, Sombra,” I called out as I walked in. However, the stallion did not move. He merely replied.
“And a good morning to you too, Roger.” I had expected him to be caught at least a little off guard. But it was as if I didn’t warrant his attention anymore. “If you want to surprise me, you’ll need to do better than that. I’ve had two alicorns come bursting through a window to kill me; very little surprises you after that.” Feeling like a fool, I took my usual seat.
Sombra closed up the file he was reading and left it on his small lectern. Walking over to the bars that separated us, he sniffed at the air like a terrier at a rabbit’s burrow.
“That’s the same atrocious aftershave you wore at our last meeting,” he said. I took the jab in silence; there was nothing to be gained from it. Instead, I tried to get some control of where our conversation went. The dark unicorn would not make this easy.
“I got your message,” I began, drawing a line under my embarrassment. “I take it you have something for me.” Closing the book he had been studying, and placing all the papers back in the folder they had come in, he turned to me.
“Yes, she is a most interesting mare this, Starlight Glimmer. So very strange; intelligent and yet so stupid and reckless. A full grown mare, and yet still a foal crying for her mother. I doubt she will be a serious problem for your friends. Still, tick tock, tick tock.”
“Do you know where she is?” I asked, impatience creeping in.
“The answer is right in front of you, dear boy,” he replied, gesturing to the file.
“I need your opinion,” I countered irritably. “Now!” That seemed to annoy Sombra.
“I've given you my opinion," he replied coolly. "I did so when you walked in here. I've even told you what she's planning."
“No more riddles, Sombra! Tell me!” I snapped. Sombra didn’t take to kindly to this.
“No!” he barked back. His eyes, for a moment, took on their unsettling hues as his dark magic manifested again. His voice then softened a little. “I showed you a courtesy, and you responded rudely. Before I tell you anything more, you will make certain arrangements.” I did my upmost to repress my anger.
“What sort of arrangements?” I hissed back. Sombra smiled at me; at this point, he called the shots, and the bastard loved it.
“Shall we say…dinner and a show?”
I left Sombra immediately after; if I hadn’t I would have probably have said something that would offend him beyond all hope of repair. He soon sent a note detailing precisely what he wanted. In Tartarus, he knew no hunger or thirst. But, he still had an enjoyment for the finer things in life, and eternal damnation does get boring after a few centuries. It wasn’t easy finding guards to volunteer to go down and pay call on the former king; particularly when most thought him dead.
I next visited him, by his request, as he was getting his ransom. Both Celestia and I were keen to get the information from him quickly, lest we be made to look foolish. Walking down into Tartarus, the usual quiet was replaced by the sound of an orchestra and the strains of a Neightalian opera. At least the twisted demon had taste.
Heading into his cell, I found the illusion was now switched to that of the great dining hall in the crystal palace. Sombra sat at the head of the table, facing away from me. He was just dabbing his mouth with a napkin and listening to the climatic point of whatever opera was playing when I entered. This time, I was determined to keep a better handle on my emotions.
“Are you ready to talk now, Sombra?” I asked. He set down a glass of wine and turned his chair to face me.
“I suppose so, Roger,” he said, sounding half interested. Activating his magic, he turned off the record player.
“Do you know where Starlight is?” I asked. Sombra cocked his head.
“Well, I’ve read the files on her. Have you? Everything you need to find her is right there in those pages,” he replied, being his usual cagey self. He knew, almost certainly, or at least had a rough idea. But for whatever reason he wasn’t willing to share. Yet. I tried appealing to his innate superiority complex.
“Then tell me how.” Sombra got up and shook his head before replying.
“First principles, Roger. Simplicity. Read Marecus Aurelius.” He levitated a book from a nearby shelf and opened it to a certain passage. It was amazing that he could create books like that with his magic from memory alone. I’d finally allowed Bones to look over the one he’d ‘gifted’ me a few days earlier.
“Of each particular thing ask; what is it in itself? What is its nature? What does she do, this mare you seek?” The answer seemed obvious.
“She takes cutie marks from ponies, forces them to conform to her ‘Equality’ philosophy.” Sombra glared at me in irritation, his red eyes glowing, and increased the volume of his reply.
“No! That is incidental!” His voice then returned to its usual calm state. “What is the first and principal thing she does? What need does she serve by robbing ponies of their destiny and identity?” Oh great, all of a sudden I’m in a psychology seminar. I did my best to come up with possibilities.
“Erm, anger? Acceptance? Frustration?” I was about to go on, but Sombra, again quite clearly bored, cut me off.
“No, she covets,” he declared. “That is her nature. And how do we begin to covet, Roger? Do we seek out things to covet? Make an effort; you haven't exactly been a star pupil. Answer now!” I snapped at him.
“No, of course not, we…” Sombra again cut me off. I did my best to calm my emotions, lest I take a bad step.
“We begin by coveting what we see every day.” Sombra smiled again. “Every day another foal gains their cutie mark, discovers their destiny, their purpose, their raison d'etre, their place in this world. And she hates them for it. So she takes them from ponies.”
“That makes no sense though,” I countered. “We know Starlight has a cutie mark. That was what made her a hypocrite. She made everypony but herself give up their marks. Why would she covet that which she already has?”
In response, Sombra got up and walked to the centre of his little study, sitting down again on the floor. He closed his eyes in what was perhaps genuine frustration.
“It isn’t the marks themselves, dear boy. It is what they represent to her. Uncover that and you will understand her, and know her next move.” With that Sombra turned and walked away. The room before me morphed back into that of the throne room of the crystal palace. Sombra made his way up to the dais and climbed the excessive stairs, before settling on his throne again. After that, he paid no more attention to me. Taking the files he had returned to me, I left.
I believe the expression is ‘one step forward, two steps back’.
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Dang... you really know how to do Sombra!
Too bad that he can't see the clues. And surely he could not think of ask Celestia or Luna or Twilight.
She's reckless and stupid, following the line about princesses breaking in, so she's likely staying close to the bearers. Crying for her mother and immature, so an issue from her foalhood. Intelligent, in the light of their previous discussion and tick tock might be a subtle hint about her plan...
You think Person of Interest is a good show? You should watch Cops, that gets your heart pumping haha
7253658 I actually have this as my home page on Chrome:
http://chemikhazi.github.io/Samaritan/?msg=What%20Are%20Your%20Commands%20?%20
7252708 Well done. You managed to catch everything. Perhaps Sombra will invite you to dinner?
as we all know how star light ends. but I am finding this vary interesting this chess game Sombra is playing with roger.
Luna and Celestia spying on Twilight's domain and not telling her, boo hiss.
7264037 They aren't spying. The map is, but it's a closed system. Celestia and Luna can't see what it sees. All they get, just like Twilight and the Mane Six, is a somewhat cryptic heads-up about possible incidents. More importantly, Celestia and Luna don't control it.
7252708 Your comment made me think of this.
Yeah, this is definitely a Hannibal-style relationship and, by its very nature, very dangerous.
The real danger is to Starlight; precisely what Sombra decide to do with her? More importantly, what possible hope would there be to stop him if he chose to do so?
I loved that show. It had a very satisfying ending, though.