• Published 24th May 2015
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My Little Pony Bizarre Adventures - Part 1: Ponyville Central - LateBronyWriter



One Thousand years ago, the saints Celestia and Luna drew upon the power of the Red Stone of Aja to defeat the demon Discord. Now one thousand years later the Stone is destroyed, beginning the tale of six ponies and their quest to redeem the world.

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Chapter 5-Surprise!-Take 1

Surprise!-Take 1


With the rising of the sun, many of Equestria’s ponies begin their fruitful lives. Each morning ushers in a new day, each one presenting an opportunity in which one can play, learn and grow. On this morning, like any other in Equestria, the cock crows as the sun peeks over the horizon, his shrill voice greeting the new day with gusto and excitement for what is to come.

However just as there are creatures that frolic in the day there are those that are ‘slow to rise’ with the morning sun.

Twilight sparkle is one of the latter.

In the middle of town sits the town’s library, The Golden Oaks Library: a large hollowed out tree that still blooms with foliage and bright green leaves that refract the beams of the rising sun. Its interior first floor is crafted from the very same light red wood of the tree, its walls holding countless books with each one containing the wisdom of a bygone age. The second floor of the library - reached by a circling flight of stairs - houses the personal areas of the building including the bedroom, the guest bedroom and the spacious bathroom, all designed for the librarian’s personal usage.

Inside the bedchambers, a young unicorn mare with a striped purple mane lies in her bed as the sun rises outside her window. Curling up in the covers unwilling to begin the day, Twilight Sparkle plays for as much time in her unconscious state as possible. As the morning sun shines in through the windows illuminating the day, Twilight Sparkle tries vainly to hide from the Light that seems to follow her head around her pillow. Last night was far too busy to wake up this early; she needs to sleep in at least another three hours to be at her best. Surely, sleeping in another few hours wouldn’t be a crime, would it? The mare curls up against her pillow as she prepares to drift back to the realm of dreams.

Yet not all creatures are as lax in rising with the sun as Twilight Sparkle is.

“YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAWWWWWWWWWWW!” Applejack shouts as she bucks open the door to Twilight’s room. “Rise and shine cowgirl! This ain’t no time for rest! Up and attum!”

With all the grace of an epileptic patient, the student of Princess Celestia flails about in shock as she tumbles face first out of her bed. Recoiling from the pain of impact, she is barely able to discern the voice of her friend Applejack as she curses the very existence of light itself under her breath.

“Yes siree we got ourselves a rich and busy day today!” Applejack claims with far too much excitement for Twilight to stomach. “We got ponies ta meet places to see and all the world to explore! And yawl can’t really expect to do or see those things from the comfort of a bed now can ya?”

“Ugh…... What’s going on Applejack?” the sleepy unicorn asks. “Where are we going so early?”

“Heh still got yer head in the clouds there Twi? Let me refresh yer genius memory.” Applejack clears her throat. “Today’s the day that we’re taking that there tour of Ponyville. Since ya just happen to be speaking to the grandchild of Ponyville's founding matriarch, ah decided ta give you the grand ol’ tour mahself.”

“………….”

“Yeah, see after we dropped off all that medicine at the hospital for mah sis an the others ya said that ya needed at least one full day of rest, to ‘recover’ from all that excitement. An since there was nopony stayin in this here library, an bein the good friend that I was, ah talked Mayor Mare into letting ya crash here till yer business in Ponyville is finished.”

“………..”

“An don’t try and talk us out o this Twi, yawl said in very clear terms that ya wanted to get a nice early start so that yawl could get to know everythin about this here town of Ponyville.”

As if conjured out of thin air Pinkie Pie pops out of the door frame “Applejack’s right sleepy pants! You can’t expect to meet everypony from your bed! I mean bringing everypony in Ponyville to your bed is something that I would totally do for you if you asked but I don’t think everypony in town would like me dragging them to some strange pony’s bedside; they’d think that you were dying or something and that would be really sad!” Pulling a spatula out from behind her back Pinkie continues, “Oh by the way I made you a big Pinkie Pie Breakfast so you need to get up and eat it while it’s still hot, otherwise it’ll be a cold Pinkie Pie Breakfast.”

With a look that could boil water, Twilight gives the two a deadpan stare causing both the mares to freeze up on the spot. For a straight minute all the mare does is stare at the two ponies whose very existences are a crime against sleeping in.

Applejack coughs as Twilight continues to stare at her. “Well as yawl said yerself, scoutin out the town would help ya out in findin all these red stone things,” Applejack claims. “And you couldn’t have chosen any better ponies fer the job. As a pony who has spent her whole life in this here town ah know every nook and cranny that this little town has to offer.”

“Yeah!” the pink pony comments, “and I can tell you everything known about the Ponivilians because I know everything about every pony that there is to know about Ponyville, well at least not the super-secret stuff that I Pinkie-promised not to reveal; that stuff is off limits. But of course I’ll tell you everything that I can!”

“………….”

Applejack coughs again as she prepares to put as much optimism that she can manage into her next few words. “Well Twilight, are you ready to begin the day?”

Never breaking her intense stare Twilight rises from the floor, her mane a complete tangled mess, and begins to walk out the door of her room, ignoring the early risers. Both of her friends watch nervously as the purple mare walks without a word down the stairs of her home and into the kitchen on the first floor. Unwilling to follow a mare obviously not in her right mind, the orange farmer and pink party pony listen for any sounds that could come from the dark kitchen below them. Silence fills the entire library as the two mares’ sharp eyes begin to see a faint purple light emanating from the kitchen’s dark expanse.

“What do you think that she’s doing?” Pinkie asks.

“Ah don’t know shug,” Applejack replies “I just don…….”

“GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG”

An enormously loud grating sound fills the library, causing the books to shake off their shelves from the intense rattling vibrations. “What in Sam hill?!” Applejack shouts as she falls prone from miniature earthquake filling the library.

“W-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E!” Pinkie gleefully cheers as the vibrations of the earthquake cause the party pony to skid across the floor.

Attempting to drown out the sound of the noise, Applejack plugs her ears with her own hooves, putting all her efforts into enduring the affronting sound that seems to assault her very being. Then just as suddenly as it began the noise ceases, returning the entire library to a state of quiet.

“Awwwwww. It’s over!” Pinkie says. “I liked Twilight’s mini-earthquake. Oh! Do you think she would do it again if we asked?”

“Twilight did that?!” Applejack asks with surprise. “Why in the blue blazes would she…”

“Ahh much better!” Both of the mares look to the doorway of the darkened kitchen to see a much calmer and composed Twilight Sparkle. Her coat is smoothed over, the bags from beneath her eyes are gone and even her mane is straight and in order, signifying her sudden drastic change from ‘I hate everything’ to ‘BRING IT ON!’ And there, resting in her telekinetic field like the soma of the Gods, is the cause of such an abrupt change in the unicorn’s demeanor: a single steaming cup of coffee.

“Oh…” Applejack realizes the reason for Twilight’s abrupt change in mood.

“Sorry about before, girls, but I really needed that. Can you believe that there isn’t a single coffee grinder in the entire library?” Twilight remarks. “Luckily I grind my coffee beans magically with ‘Mordechai’s Grinding Hooves of Death’. I find that the coffee tastes better when the beans have been ground into subatomic particles by intense magical pressure, but that’s probably just me.” Twilight takes another sip from her cup and shivers in delight. “OH boy that’s the stuff!”

“Okay then…” Applejack begins, unsure whether she should be less or more frightened of the mare before her. “Now that yawl are all fresh and ready ta begin the day we best be on our way. We’re burning daylight every second here.”

With no more words needing to be said Applejack and Pinkie Pie turn to open the door leading outside, only to be stopped by Twilight’s assertive voice. “Not so fast Applejack, Pinkie.” Both of the mares stop dead in their tracks, Pinkie actually managing to defy physics and stop in midair. “There is one more thing we need to discuss before we head on out.”

Twilight takes another sip of her coffee, slowly savoring its taste. “Pinkie, you said the day before yesterday that you had a Stand power, a fact that was confirmed when you were able to see Applejack’s Stand, Fountainhead.”

“Foundation,” Applejack interrupts.

“Right, Foundation.” Twilight nods impartially. “Anyway, only another Stand user or a pony who has been exposed to Red Stones for a long period of time would even be able to see a Stand, given it’s composed of a pony’s essence.” Twilight takes another sip of her coffee. “Pinkie, I know that this might be a bit sensitive, but manifesting a Stand requires a red stone in order to manifest. So my question is: do you really have a Stand power? How did you get it? And why did you wait until now to tell me?!”

Pinkie stares at Twilight. “Ummmmm Twilight I may not be as good at math as you are…. But that sounds like three questions.”

Twilight groans. “Whatever, Pinkie I know that. And I know that it might be something that you don’t want to talk about but…”

“Okie dokie!”

“… we really need you to….. wait what?”

Pinkie laughs, “Of course I’ll tell you Twilight, you’re my friend!” Pinkie claps her hooves together as she pulls out a large felt board from behind her back. “Besides, this will give me the chance to try out my ‘flashback board’! I’m so excited!”

Twilight is stunned again. “Pinkie… how did you do that?”

Pinkie cocks her head. “Do what, silly?”

“How did you pull that board out of nowhere?” Twilight shouts. “Come to think of it, didn’t you do the same thing yesterday with a tuba and a miniature alligator?”

Pulling out a rolled up newspaper Pinkie bops Twilight Sparkle on the head. “Save all questions till the end of the lesson! That means NO disruptions, Ms. Sparkle,” Pinkie says in her most authoritarian voice.

“But I… Ugh! Never mind just get on with it Pinkie!”

“Perfect, now where to begin!” Pinkie taps her chin. “Oh yes, where better to begin the story than at the beginning!”

With super pony speed, the pink mare places several figures on the board in quick succession. A father and mother ponies stand in a field of rocks surrounded by four daughters, one of them a bright pink color. “Once upon a time there was a little pink filly that lived on a rock farm with her parents. However, her life was boring and hard without any time for fun, can you imagine that?”

Pinkie moves the pink figure around on the board. The pink figure moves about the field of rocks all alone until she finds a strange-looking black rock. “That was until one day she found a lucky rock in the field that was different from every other rock that she had ever seen. The pink pony wanted to have fun and have a happy life, so using all her pinkie powers she wished on the rock for some fun.”

Then the pink mare places a large felt rainbow in the sky complete with all the colors of the spectrum. “No sooner than she wished on the rock then she saw a blinding flash of light in the sky that filled her with a sense of happiness and wonder. Immediately she knew that, just like that flash of light, her purpose was to make others happy. And that’s when her cutie mark appeared.” Pinkie giggles as she waves her cutie mark in the faces of her two friends, oblivious to the blushes of embarrassment on their faces.

Turning back to the board Pinkie moves the felt figures around with her hooves as she illustrates a new scene. Once again the scene changes: this time the pink figure is setting up a room with streamers and cake. It is clearly obvious from the image that the filly is having a hard time putting the party together. “She set out to make a party for her whole family so they could be happy too! But then she realized that she didn’t have any cake or streamers or party favors at all! I mean how could you have a party without cake? She was stumped, but then she had a super fantastic idea.”

Moving the pink felt pony on the board Pinkie illustrates the pink figure drawing pictures on scrap pieces of paper. “She drew out the things she needed on paper and since her special magic stone had granted her wish the first time, she wished on it again. But this time since she already knew that her purpose in life was to make ponies happy and she didn’t need to wish for that she wished that she could have the power to throw her hardworking parents the greatest party ever!”

Moving the figures around, Pinkie introduces a new figure to the board, this one a white pegasus-shaped creature with cartoonish eyes all over its body. “Then no sooner than she made her little Pinkie wish, a magical mystery friend appeared and pulled those supplies right out of the paper. All the cakes streamers and all the piñatas a filly could ask for!”

Moving around the figures Pinkie demonstrates all the felt images dancing around and playing, the father and mother looking on in joy as their children celebrate. “The filly’s parents and siblings were really surprised at how she was able to put together a party from nothing, but they were so happy that they didn’t care! Even though the filly couldn’t pull things she created out of paper any more after that; her special friend allowed her to take everything she could ever need with her by folding it away on her cute little felt pelt.”

Pinkie arranges the board to show the pink felt figure throwing another party with the white filly dropping various party-themed objects out of the sky around the pink filly. “Now the filly could take her parties anywhere she needed them to go and since her imaginary friend was such a surprise that’s what she decided to call her. Surprise! Eventually the filly’s parents stopped trying to figure out how she was able to do such crazy stuff and they just accepted it! After all who would question a good surprise party?”

With a flash of panache the party pony folds up the entire board in the space of a few seconds and stores it behind her back. “And that’s the story of how I, Pinkemenia Pie, made my first ever super special friend! Surprise! Say hello Surprise.”

In a flash Pinkie manifests a white figure that stands beside her, its body hovering in the air completely weightless as a cloud. The pegasus-shaped Stand with a bouncy mane of sunlit yellow and a body composed of felt-like texture manifests itself directly next to the pink party pony with a flair all its own. Across its entire body are hundreds of cartoonish eyes of every shape and color, and various objects ranging from felt boards to cartoon glasses, from cakes to eye patches. Almost every empty spot on the Stand is covered in doodles of various objects that all seem to be made out of the same felt texture as its pelt, the tattooed Stand’s button eyes and stitched smile looking ahead at the two very confused mares.

“H-Hello…..” the white pegasus figure says in a high pitched tone of voice, without ever moving its mouth.

“See, every time I need a special object for my special parties…” The party mare reaches out to her Stand’s barrel, touching a picture of a thermos made completely of felt. “…All I have to do is reach out…” With a quick tug the felt peels off the Stand; however, as it peels off, the two dimensional shape takes on a three dimensional appearance, turning into a real physical object. “…And Abra-K-Pinkie! One hot thermos of coffee!” The Stand picks up the thermos and with expert control tops off Twilight’s depleted cup. With its task complete the Stand places the thermos back on the exact spot on its flank that it came from, causing it to once again turn back into felt.

Twilight looks at her cup of coffee with no small amount of surprise as she inhales the fragrance of perfectly warm coffee with absolutely no hint of staleness “Amazing! It’s like an advanced bag of holding spell! Except the spell can preserve an object perfectly in time as well as in space.” Twilight takes a sip of her brew with satisfaction. “This coffee is as fresh as when it was brewed! How many objects can you store like this Pinkie?”

The pink pony shrugs at this question. “Humh? I don’t know, one time I tried to stick a whole kitchen on my Stand cause I was going to do this super cool baking party but I ran out of room to stick things onto even when i pulled off almost all my Pinkie eyes to make room so I just turned the oven into felt and stored the felt in my hair! Boy was Mr. Cake surprised when he came home to find out that his oven was gone!”

Twilight blinks at Pinkie’s comment. “Hold on Pinkie, back up there. Did you say you can turn anything into felt? Meaning that you don’t have to stick it onto your Stand to keep it in felt form to preserve an object?”

“Heh He, don’t be silly, Twilight! I can’t turn everything into felt! That would really silly even for me! I mean I can’t turn ponies into felt, which is a pretty good thing cause I guess that being turned into felt would be really boring!” Sticking her hoof into her mane Pinkie pulls out a small toothless alligator. “Well except for Gummy! He’s really special like that! Could you imagine if I could turn felt into felt and place it on Surprise’s felt where it could be felt by a pony who loves felt?!”

Twilight rolls her eyes as Pinkie laughs at her own little joke, Applejack looking on suspiciously at her strange looking Stand all the while.

“Hold on there, Pinkie,” the farm mare says as she points at the surprising Stand. “Ah get this whole turn-things-into-felt thing but what’s with those eyes yer Stand is covered in? Y’awl don’t expect me ta believe that ya……” The farm mare gulps deeply, “……. That yawl can take off ponies eyes or somthin?”

The farmer chuckles nervously. “Ah mean ah’m just confused cause yawl said that you couldn’t turn living things inta felt…… so ah’m not tryin ta be offensive or anythin……”

“Oh you mean my Pinkie Eyes?” Pinkie materializes her Stand as she looks back at the sewn-on eyes. “Yeah they sorta came with the package and everything! At first I was all like ‘GASP’ cause it looked kinda creepy but then i realised that I could pull them off and place them places so then it was sorta like a game where I pulled them off and put them on and pulled them off and put them on and pulled them off and put them on and pulled them off and put them on and pulled…”

‘All right we git it Pinkie!” Applejack shouts. “Ah just didn’t want ta hear that yawl pulled the eyes offa ponies er somethin…” Suddenly Applejack claps her hooves over her mouth, realising that her off-hoof comment might have gone too far.

Pinkie Pie looks like she just saw a ghost, her bright blue eyes locked on Applejack as her head creaks eerily off to the side. “... Hehe…… he… he he he……” Suddenly the pink mare begins to chuckle softly, her laughter growing louder by the second until she is rolling over on her back laughing at the top of her lungs. “BWA HAHAHAHAHA Applejack… You’re… You’re so funny BWA HAHAHAHA!’” Both Twilight Sparkle and Applejack look on the party pony in dawning horror as they slowly inch away from Pinkie Pie, terrified expressions on both of their muzzles.

Suddenly Pinkie’s laughter stops as she leaps to her hooves, looking into Applejack’s eyes with a serious emotionless gaze. “No Applejack, the eyes that appear on my Stand are natural part of it. They were there when I first got my Stand, and sometimes I do have to remove some of them to make room to store my other party supplies. They don’t come from other ponies.”

Pinkie’s eyes suddenly begin to tear up as she looks her friends in the eyes, her sadness almost palpable as her poofy mane begins to deflate a bit. “But seriously Applejack, h-how could you?! Do I look like the kind of pony that would hurt other ponies like that? That i would…..” Pinkie places her hoof on her mouth, her cheeks growing a twinge greener. “...Collect pony eyes?! What in Equestria is wrong with you?!”

Twilight looks her normally-joyous friend in the eyes and sees the extent of sadness that such a casual comment has made on the enthusiastic pony’s demeanor. Where a pony would normally see Pinkie’s face plastered with a genuine grin, the current face of the pink party pony is creased with a deep frown, her puffy hair deflated, even her pink coat seems less bright as her bright blue eyes threaten to erupt in tears at any moment.

“Of course not, Pinkie!” Twilight assures her. “You are one of the kindest and most considerate ponies that I know! You could never hurt anypony like that.”

Turning her head towards Applejack, Twilight gives her the most threatening gaze she can muster, letting her know exactly what will happen to her if she doesn’t make things right in the next four seconds. “In fact…” Twilight levels a death-gaze at Applejack, “ANYPONY that would even think that Pinkie Pie would do such horrible things to other ponies is a sick monster! Pinkie Pie a pony that lives to make others happy she would never ever hurt another pony! Isn’t that right APPLEJACK?!”

Mustering all the intensity of her Librarian’s stare, Twilight’s glance conveys a simple message to Applejack: ‘comfort your friend or die’.

“Y-Yeah!” Applejack states, her response spurred on both by her desire to comfort her pink friend and her desire to live. “Of course ya would never do any of that stuff Pinkie! I just thought you know it was strange and all that ya had all those creepy eyes on yer Stand. I meant it as a joke that’s all!”

Pinkie’s face instantly returns to its normal joyous appearance as she embraces the two ponies “Awww it’s okay girls! I forgive you! I was just messing with you guys too! I know that you know that I know that I would never do any of those horrible things!”

Pinkie taps her chin as she looks out the window. “At least not in this universe……... Besides I need my little Pinkie eyes to pull off my other special power.” Breaking out of the hug Pinkie bounces over to the door and flings it open with a loud clattering sound. “Now come on! Fillies, we’ve got a town to explore!”

As Pinkie bounces out into the world beyond, Twilight can’t help but stare at the strangest pony she has ever met. “Wow, is Pinkie always, like that? Or is it only when she’s around ponies she likes?”

Applejack smiles as she drapes her hoof over her friend’s shoulder “Twi, ah’ve lived in Ponyville mah whole life and ah haven’t met a pony yet who Pinkie Pie doesn’t like.” Pulling her hoof off Twilight’s shoulder Applejack begins to trot out the open door. “Now come on; Pinkie’s right! We’ve got a whole town to explore and only few hours ta do it in. So saddle up and lets’ head on out!”

Applejack bolts out the door as Twilight looks at the sunny world outside. “Well it does look like such a nice day outside now that I’ve had my caffeine, so I guess that…”

Twilight stops her hoof mid-stride “Wait a second…… Did Pinkie say that she had more than one Stand power?!” Twilight dashes out of the door fully intent on catching up with the pink menace and extracting everything that the party mare hasn’t told her from her balloon-headed mind. “Pinkie! Get back here and tell me everything!”

……………………..

“……. And this is Time Turner: he’s the local clock maker stallion guy or something. He likes blue telephone booths and hangs out with the mail mare Derpy all the time for some reason, and Derpy is sooooooo cool Twilight! You’ve got to see how good she is at stunt flying! Cause you know she’s the mail pony here and she always flies in a really crazy way! What was I talking about again? Oh yeah Time Turner! He loves banana cakes and banana splits and he’s always running around all over Ponyville for reasons no pony really understands and……”

‘This is so NOT what I had in mind!’ Twilight thinks to herself as she listens to Pinkie explain the backstory of the fifty-sixth pony that they have met today. Twilight grumbles as she thinks of how much better this time could be spent looking for Red Stones than meeting random ponies who - like her - find themselves at the mercy of the Pink Asylum patient.

“Applejack?” Twilight asks, “Wouldn’t it be more prudent to look at areas where the Red Stones might be found? Or search for ponies acting out of the ordinary?”

Applejack turns to Twilight to resume their conversation. “Shucks Twi you asked Pinkie to introduce ya to some of the ponies in town, ‘sides we would have had all the time we needed had we left when we were supposed to, cause of yer little coffee break we had to eat breakfast on the go.”

Pinkie Pie, finishing her expertly crafted tirade on ponyville's 106th resident, Time Turner, moves onto the next pony in sight: ponyville's 4083th resident, Raindrops, who tries vainly to fly away in the face of Pinkie’s rambling voice which is revealing her most intimate secrets to the world.

Twilight sighs. “Oh Applejack, naive foolish Applejack,” Twilight says as if chastising a child. “Any danger or discomfort we could have experienced by taking a late start would have been miniscule compared to the discomfort of dealing with me without my morning coffee.”

Pinkie continues disclosing various bits of personal information to any pony in earshot about her good friend Raindrops as the mare attempts to do everything in her power to shut her up.

No pony past or present ever succeeded in getting Pinkie to be quiet for more than five minutes without having an aneurism. To this day the record for getting Pinkie to be quiet is five minutes, and that one time was simply because she was chewing an especially large wad of cotton-candy flavored taffy. And even then she spent most of her time trying to describe the taste to every pony at the candy maker’s convention despite the fact that her mouth was filled to capacity.

“What da ya mean Twi?” the perplexed farm mare asks.

“I mean Applejack…” the purple unicorn explains “…. that any morning in which I DON’T get my morning coffee is a morning that you and everypony in town will rue your very existence.”

If there is any indication that Pinkie is aware that her friends are ignoring her, she either doesn’t care or she is so focused on disclosing vitally personal information to the world around her that it completely slips her mind that the ponies that she was tasked with explaining all these things to aren’t listening.

Applejack gulps in fear at Twilight’s comment. “Point taken. An ah guess yawl are right bout one thing: we really need to pick up tha pace here.”

“I’m glad you see things my way, Applejack!” Twilight says with a grin. Trotting up to Pinkie, who is in the process of explaining what kind of teddy bear Snips got for his birthday last year, Twilight snaps her friend out of her behavior by clearing her throat. “Ummm Pinkie I don’t mean to be rude, but when I asked you to introduce me to some of the more important ponies in Ponyville, I meant that you should introduce me to some of the ponies who are actually important.”

Pinkie turns around, gripping her friend with her two immensely strong arms. “But TWILIGHT!” the party mare says as she shakes her friend back and forth, “ALL the ponies of Ponyville are important! I mean what if… Muummmmppphhhhh!”

Twilight cuts off her friend with a hoof to her mouth. “Pinkie, I know what you are going to say, and I think everypony in Ponyville is special and unique, but I want to meet the ponies in Ponyville who have important jobs and tasks that they alone can perform. The kind of ponies who would know if a pony was acting strange or had found a mystical magical object while doing their job. Now Pinkie do you know any ponies like that?”

A serious look crosses Pinkie’s face as she raises her hoof in a solemn pledge. “Mmmmmummmmph Mumph Mmmmumph Muumph Muuummmmppppphhhh!”

Twilight removes her hoof from Pinkie’s mouth. “What was that Pinkie?”

“I said that I’d totally help you find a pony like that Twi!” Pinkie says, “and I won’t rest until I… Hey look there’s Rainbow Dash let’s go meet her!” Pinkie bounces up to the mare with the speed of a shark smelling fresh blood before pouncing upon the completely unsuspecting pegasus. “HI RAINBOW HOW ARE YOU DOING?”

Twilight sighs in frustration, “GGGGGGGGGGggghhhhhhaaaaaaaa. I give up Applejack, there’s absolutely no way of getting Pinkie to follow any kind of schedule.”

Applejack chuckles to herself. “Yeah Pinkie’s a handful Twi, but she always manages to come through in a pinch. Take mah friend Rainbow Dash there.”

“Rainbow Dash is your friend too, Applejack?” Twilight looks up at the farm mare as her mind fills with hopeful thoughts. ‘Maybe if things work out I can be friends with Rainbow too! Wait what am I thinking?! I’m not here to make friends I’m here to find the Red Stones. Prioritize, Twilight!’

Applejack chuckles “If by friends ya mean rivals then yeah, we’re the best of friends. An’ if anypony knows if somethin’ rotten is going down around Ponyville then she’s the one to ask. After all, she’s the captain of the weather patrol and Ponyville's resident stunt mare.”

Her eyes filling with awe, the Twilight mare looks upon the mare in front of her in a new light. The pegasus’ sky-blue coat belies her powerful muscles underneath, each muscle grouping toned to physical perfection after years of rigorous exercise. Her cutie mark - a rainbow colored lightning bolt cutting through a white cloud demonstrates her desire for speed as well as her natural born talent at achieving it. Her cocky grin and maroon eyes demonstrating an unparalleled amount of confidence that seemingly fills her very being. Her very body language resonates with pride and confidence. And most noticeably of all, her six colored mane representing all the colors of the rainbow seems to catch every slight breeze as it ripples beautifully through the air. In fact the only faulty mark on her entire body is a medium sized bandage placed right above her left cutie mark.

“Ponyville's captain of the weather patrol…… You’re right, Applejack, if any pony would be witness to any strange things around Ponyville it would be the one who patrols it regularly.” With enthusiasm in her every step Twilight walks up to the Rainbow mare with a cheery grin, trotting up to the her just as pegasus mare turns to greet her.

“Hello there, I’m Twilight Sparkle, Princess Representative assigned to Ponyville,” Twilight says with a cheery voice. “I must say I haven’t heard many things about you, Rainbow Dash, but from what Applejack and Pinkie Pie tell me you are the pony to know here in Ponyville.”

Twilight extends her hoof to the Pegasus who looks over the Lavender mare twice before finally breaking out in a small grin and shaking her hoof. “Well if you haven’t heard anything about me then you really must be a new pony to Ponyville! And if you could get that stubborn apple farmer to give you a good word then you must be pretty cool yourself.” Breaking the hoof shake Dash strikes another cocky grin. “Of course you’re still nowhere as awesome as I am!”

“Really,” Applejack asks, unwilling to accept Dash’s arrogant attitude this early.

“Yeah Jackie!” Pinkie says, “Even I hate to admit it, but Rainbow Dash is way cooler than Twilight Sparkle! In fact of the nine thousand two hundred and forty seven ponies currently in Ponyville Rainbow Dash is undoubtedly the most daring of them all! Why she’s practically a shoo-in for the Wonderbolts next year! Um no offense Twilight?”

Twilight nods her head. “None taken Pinkie, but trying out for the Wonderbolts, you must be a pretty impressive flyer Rainbow Dash.”

Dash raises her hoof to her eyes admiring it impartially as she flaunts her coolness. “Heh. What can I say, I’m just awesome like that.” Dash points her hoof to the newcomer. “But enough about me and how obviously awesome I am. I know everypony in Ponyville, so what makes you so special?”

‘What?’ Twilight thinks, ‘is she trying to be rude? No, she’s friends with Pinkie and Applejack; she must just be intimidated by the fact that they have a new friend’. “Well, like I said I’m a Princess Representative for the designated region of Ponyville.”

“Pfft, that’s nothing special.” Dash waves her hoof dismissively. “All anypony has to do to get a position like that is kiss the flank of the Princess. And that doesn’t take any talent. Come on, there must be something awesome about you other than the fact that you’re a Canterlot snob?”

Twilight is about to blurt out there is far more to being a Princess Representative than flank-kissing when she is interrupted by Pinkie Pie’s well-timed outburst. “OH NO! Not only is Twilight a super Princess Representative but she’s Princess Celestia’s private student! She’s super magical and has all these cool spells that go whoosh and boom and she healed Applejack in an instant with her magic and even guided us clear out of the Everfree Forest in the dark!”

“The Everfree Forest?” Rainbow asks, genuinely impressed. “You, a stuck up noble, went into the Everfree Forest? At night?”

Twilight seizes the opportunity to finally get a word in edgewise as she clears her throat. “Yes Dash I went into the Everfree Forest to help Applejack, and for your information I happen to be from a common…”

“Yeah yeah that’s great Twibright…”

“TWILIGHT! It’s Twilight Sparkle!”

“Whatever…... Just so long as you aren’t a prissy frou frou unicorn like that Rarity you’re cool in my book.” Rainbow Dash snickers. “Cause if you were looking to take the job of town fancy pants then you’re about ten years too late.”

“Dashie!” Pinkie rushes into Dash’s face, a menacing look in her eyes. “That’s not nice, Rarity is a great pony. Just because you two are very different and you share almost nothing in common doesn’t mean you can’t be friends! And it doesn’t mean that you can just make fun of her like that!”

Dash, realizing that she may have gone too far with that last comment, rubs the back of her neck shamefully as she looks Pinkie straight in the eyes. “Sorry Pinkie, I guess I got carried away, sorry about that.”

Rainbow Dash points at Twilight. “I just didn’t want the new pony getting any funny ideas about this town or anything. Ponyville may just be a shadow of the Capital of Equestria, but it’s no playground for any high-class nobles or anything. If she thinks that she can come to our town and tell us how to live just because she’s some Princess Rep or something she’s in for a rude awakening.”

“Dash!” Now it is Applejack who chastises the speedster. “Ah think Pinks is right! yawl are goin too far now. Twi is here to help us out, not to oppress us like some foreign tyrant. She’s just doing her job helpin ponies out. Somethin YOU should be doin right about now.”

“Ehhh, I’m on break, Applejack,” the rainbow mare states nonchalantly. “If it came down to it I could clear these skies in ten seconds flat.”

“Oh! I had a great idea guys!” Pinkie says as an idea takes form in her mind. “Since Dash is so fast and is a good friend maybe she could help us with our super secret mission! We could be secret agent buddies!”

The group stands in stunned silence as the Pink mare blows any semblance of secrecy that they had in the most overt way possible. Part of Twilight can’t believe that Pinkie just went and did the opposite thing that she was told to do. Then again, she is Pinkie Pie. The air itself seems to be as heavy as lead as Twilight hopes to dear Celestia that Dash thinks that the pink mare is joking. ‘Please please think that this is a joke,’ the purple mare pleads. ‘Pinkie loves jokes! There is no secret mission it’s just another one of Pinkie’s senseless jokes, please believe it's a joke!’

The deadening silence is finally broken by Dash scratching her head. “Secret mission? What secret mission? Applejack, do you know what Pinkie is talking about?”

Twilight face hooves. “Pinkie! Can I speak to you in private? NOW.” Grabbing the Pink mare with her telekinesis, Twilight teleports the two of them just out of earshot of the rainbow mare as she prepares to give the lecture of her life to the pink menace.

“What?” Pinkie asks, “Too subtle?”

“More like incredibly overt, Pinkie!” Twilight shouts. “I thought I told you that this was a SECRET mission for a reason; nopony else is supposed to know about it!”

“Nut-ah. You said ponies who weren’t our friends or couldn’t be trusted. And Dash is our friend so she can be trusted! Besides, Dashie is the most loyalist of loyal ponies that I know!”

“You’re joking right? Tell me you're joking, Pinkie.”

“To quote a great stallion, ‘Noooppppeee!’” Pinkie states with absolute confidence. “Rainbow Daring Dash is my friend! And that’s the truth.”

In the face of Pinkie’s naivety, Twilight can only rub the bridge of her horn as she tries to suppress a rising headache. “Pinkie, your ‘friend' has been rude and insulting to me ever since we met her. She’s stuck up, self-righteous and to top it all off she’s a bigoted airhead with rude manners! She is the exact OPPOSITE of a pony who we want to put our trust in!”

“You’re not such a prize yourself, little Mrs. Sparkler.”

“GRUGH. Dash, for the millionth time my name is Twilight…..” Twilight turns around to see the rainbow maned mare hovering two hoof lengths from her muzzle, her forelegs crossed in obvious frustration. “Oh hello, Dash! Um, hear anything you didn’t like? Hehehehe……”

However, it is obvious from a quick glance that Rainbow Dash is not appeased or amused by Twilight’s apologetic behavior. “So you think that I’m a blow hard, hunh? So you just think that me and the other ponies in this town are stupid? You think that you're so much better than everypony else? That we’ll just let you run through this town of ours doing Discord knows what just cause you have a fancy title? HUNH?!?”

Twilight flinches a bit with every accusation that comes from Dash’s mouth. “H-H-Hey! I didn’t say I was better than anypony else! And for your information…”

“Yeah well you certainly implied it,” the Rainbow mare interrupts. “With your ‘secret Princess missions’ that the rest of the town ‘doesn’t need to know’. Well, I may not be an egghead like you but I can totally tell a government conspiracy when I see one!”

Dash lands on the ground with a loud impact and begins to stomp right up to the lavender mare, giving her a stink eye. “Well, I’m not falling for your lies! And as captain of the weather patrol I demand to know what sort of ‘secret mission’ that you are doing around this town.” Rainbow stares at the unicorn in front of her, her suspicions becoming more apparent by the second. “Are you a spy?”

“It aint none of yer beeswax, Dash!” Applejack yells, butting heads with Rainbow Dash. “Fer yer information, Twilight was only trying to be friendly to yawl, an’ you darn near take her head off. She’s a guest, Dash, leave her alone!”

Pushing back on the farmer, Rainbow Dash makes it clear she’s not going to back down “She’s a government spy, Applejack! And if it’s not important then why is she hiding it from every pony? It’s exactly what a SPY would do!”

The rainbow mare suddenly turns to the ‘spy’ in question. “Well, little miss spy? Have you got anything to say in your defense?”

“You’re bleeding, Dash…”

“HA! She admits it! She’s a…… wait, what did you say?”

Twilight points her hoof over to the bandage on Dash’s side, the white cloth covering her wound sporting a new blotch of red under the bandage. “Your wound is bleeding, Dash,” Twilight comments. “You did a good job of bandaging it, but injuries to parts of the body like your back experience a lot of movement, so they tend to open back up a lot of the time.”

Dash looks back to her injured flank with a small look of fear on her face, beginning to break out into a cold sweat. “Uhhhhhh…..”

Twilight moves over to Dash's injured side, determining the state of her patient with her precise and analytical mind. “Hummmmhhh……Your excitement and increase in blood pressure must have caused the wound to reopen, Dash. But from the size of the wound and the small amount of blood, I can tell that it’s come a long way in recovering.” Lighting her horn, the lavender mare points the tip of it towards the wound on Dash’s side. “Don’t worry; like Pinkie said before, I’m pretty good at healing magics, so I’ll just need a second to…..”

“NO!” The Rainbow mare leaps into the air in a panic, clutching her flank to prevent it from being touched. Yet, realizing that her behavior was ‘very uncool’, Rainbow Daring Dash lands back on the ground with a light step, coughing gently into her hoof as she assumes a more natural stance. “I mean, no way like I would trust a spy like you to play doctor. You probably would poison me or place a spell on my flank so you could track my movements, or something creepy like that!”

“What!? That would be a terrible breach of medical practice!” the purple mare claims. “I’m just trying to help you, Dash! Why do you have to be so paranoid?”

Seeing an opportunity to get back at her rival for her rude behavior, Applejack smiles evilly. “Oh so ya didn’t know, Twilight.”

Twilight turns in confusion to her orange friend as Dash’s face grows several shades paler. “What are you talking about, Applejack?”

Applejack shrugs. “I just thought that everypony from here to Canterlot would have heard by now about the fearless Rainbow Dash.”

Dash glares at the farmer. “Applejack, don’t you dare!”

Applejack’s beaming face perfectly contrasts Dash’s enraged behavior as she continues to goad the pegasus. “I just thought that she would like to know…”

“Shut UP, Applejack.”

“That the fearless Rainbow Dash…….”

“I said shut it.”

“Captain of the weather patrol......”

“Not cool, Applejack, not cool at all.”

“Future wonderbolt extraordinaire…...”

“I swear to Celestia, Applejack!”

“Is actually..…..”

“I swear to Celestia if you even……”

“Is totally scared of doctors!” Pinkie says as she pops out between the two mares. “Isn’t that funny, Twilight, hunh? Cause I thought it was totally funny when I found out!”

Rainbow Dash slumps down over herself in pure embarrassment as her shameful secret is revealed to the mare she currently despises the most. Applejack smiles, unable to keep herself from enjoying her rival’s humiliation. “Yes siree! In fact, if ah had any say in it, ah’d say that Dash has a deep seated fear of any pony in authority, not just doctors. But then again ah wouldn’t know anything about that, after all Rainbow here’s the only pony ah know that’s afraid of doctors!”

Twilight’s eyes light up at this. “Fear of doctors? That’s perfect! I get a chance to try out my psychologist’s license!”

With a poof of magic, Twilight conjures up a pair of professional glasses and a wooden clip board. “Now Dash, tell me, when did you first start having these irrational fears of ponies in positions of authority? Do you know that your paranoia is not normal, or do you feel your concerns are perfectly justified? What’s your relationship with your parents like? Am I doing a good job? Please tell me I’m doing a good job.”

Suddenly Dash springs into the air, unable to take the mocking criticism a second longer. “That’s it! I’m done dealing with this. If you two want to ditch the most awesome pony in Ponyville to hang out with the egghead then be my guest! That’s your problem.”

Unwilling to leave without getting in the last word, the rainbow mare then flies right up to Twilight. “And don’t think this is over, Twibright Sparkle. I’ve got my eye on you.” With a sudden burst of speed the rainbow mare vanishes into the wild blue yonder, leaving behind a prismatic trail as the only evidence that she was ever there.

Author's Note:

To Be Continued →

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