• Published 24th May 2015
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My Little Pony Bizarre Adventures - Part 1: Ponyville Central - LateBronyWriter

One Thousand years ago, the saints Celestia and Luna drew upon the power of the Red Stone of Aja to defeat the demon Discord. Now one thousand years later the Stone is destroyed, beginning the tale of six ponies and their quest to redeem the world.

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Chapter 20-Danger Zone-Take2

Danger Zone-Take 2:

“…… And you’re sure that she went this way?!” Dash’s gaze narrows at the direction Pinkie pointed her in her eyes reflecting the glint of the setting sun in the distance and reflecting off her magenta eyes.

“Absolutely positively! My Pinkie sense is never wrong. Well except on April Fool’s day, and even then it is sometimes right!” Pinkie points towards a small alley a short distance from Carousel Boutique, away from any prying pony eyes.

“My Pinkie sense said she went down that alley. Besides….” The pink mare pulls out a long list from behind her back. “…. According to the town postal guide, this is Derpy’s corporately-designated break spot. She is contractually required to take a midday snack break here from four thirty to five.”

Ignoring Pinkie’s usual jests Dash looks at the entryway to the alley, knowing that the pony that made a fool of her is just around the corner. “Good. Now maybe we can finally get some answers from a certain somepony. You go left, Pinkie, and I’ll take the right side” In a prismatic flash the mare flies around the corner, landing with enough force to crack the ground beneath her hooves. Sure enough, sitting on a small bench enjoying a bite of muffin and a beaker of apple juice is none other than Derpy Hooves.

Raising her lopsided eyes to the sound of the approaching hooves, Derpy spies Dash and waves cheerfully towards her friend. “Well hey, Dash! What’s going……” Now, Derpy may not have been the sharpest knife in the drawer like Dash said, but she was far from stupid. In fact, her natural empathy meant that she was far more sensitive towards the moods and emotions of ponies than she let on. And from the mannerisms that Dash was giving off, namely her slightly clenched jaw, her spread posture and her burning magenta eyes, Dash wasn’t there to talk. “…… um, Dash? What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?” Dash rhetorically. “I’ll tell you what’s wrong: namely, you!”

“What?” Derpy points to herself ignorantly. “Me?”

“Yes, you!” Dash takes a step forward. “I know your secret: you’re the mysterious prankster that’s been making a fool of everypony, including me and Pinkie!”

The grey mare’s eyes widen as she leaps off the bench, her legs begin to shake and a look of fear fills her eyes. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She turns around as if to retreat, however she finds that her other way out is cut off by a familiar pink party mare.

“Oh, trying to play dumb, are we?” Dash rolls her eyes sarcastically. “Well I know for a fact that you have been sabotaging us all day! What, was being nice to us all some kind of game? Do you like making fools of other ponies?”

“Derpy….” Pinkie looks sad-eyed at the mailmare before her. “Is-is it true? Were you just pretending to be nice to us, to me? Just for a prank?”

“NO, Pinkie!” Derpy actually begins to cry a little at Pinkie’s allegations. “No, I didn’t mean to make you sad. It’s just….” The mare clenches her eyes shut, suppressing her tears. “…… just leave me alone!” The mailmare tries to escape to the air only to find her way out blocked by Dash.

“Oh no you don’t!” Through careful maneuvering and midair technique the blue mare forces Derpy back to the ground. “Now look! I don’t know what your deal is and what you’re really after. But I’m not leaving here without some answers!” Dash crosses her hooves as she hovers over Derpy Hooves. “So start talking. What’s your angle? What do you have to gain by tormenting everypony like this?”

“Nothing! It’s none of your business! Just…… leave me alone!” Derpy falls to her haunches, hoping that Dash and her problems will just go away if she ignores them enough.

“Derpy…..” Pinkie walks forward and places her hoof on the sacred mailmare’s shoulder. “I know that you are pretty scared right now. It’s sometimes scary to have to tell the truth.” Derpy looks at the pink mare behind her, as her watery eyes begin to leak actual tears. “But I know deep down you’re a good pony that wouldn’t want to make others unhappy. So please tell us why you’re doing all these mean pranks. Pretty please?”

For a moment Derpy’s eyes brighten in hope as she looks into Pinkie’s smiling face. “Pinkie, I……” The grey mare turns away from Pinkie in shame, pulling herself out of the Pinkie’s grasp “I-I can’t explain it, I can’t control it! That’s why you just have to forget what you think you know and leave me alone!”

“What? You can’t control your pranking?” Dash scoffs, “is that some kind of joke? Cause you’ve been intentionally targeting us since we began our little contest. That shows that you’re intentionally trying to make fools of us!”

“Dash, stop it!” Pinkie turns to the blue mare a looks so scorn on her face. “You’re scaring her!”

“She should be scared!” Dash practically yells at Pinkie, “she’s been attacking ponies all over Ponyville for some kind of sick prank and now she’s caught! She’s lucky that nopony’s gotten hurt so far from her ‘surprise praning’.”Dash lowers her head shamefully “I know how what that can be like to hurt somepony because you’re reckless…..” THe speedster raises her muzzle with a look of resolve “And that’s why she has no excuse for pranking without a pony’s best interests at heart!”

Dash gets further into the grey mare’s face in order to drive the mare into confessing. “So what is it, hunh? Is your little friendly act to make yourself less suspicious or something? What are you after, cough it up! And stop it with these pranks!”

Harnessing the force of her frustrations the grey mailmare cries out in anger. “I said, Leave. Me. Alone!” As if responding to her anger, a ghostly figure appears from behind her and shatters the hard cement before her with it’s spinning hoof, reducing it to rubble in an instant. Both Pinkie and Dash back away from Derpy in awe and anxiousness as the ghostly figure fully manifests itself. The dull steel-grey Stand is lanky and limber, possessing a thin iron body and frame. The thickest part the torso looks to be composed only of iron hoops and a tightly-pulled faux-leather pilot’s jacket that matches the color of Derpy’s mane. Though the Stand appears to be shaped like an earth pony it has four wings, one on each limb, each one fluttering in the wind as if it were wearing them like a bracelet. Stranger still, the Stand appears covered in multiple propellers that spin and rotate as if powered by an invisible breeze. The pilot’s capped head turns itself towards Dash and its eyes narrow at the aggressor before it.

“So…. that’s your secret,” Dash remarks as the presence of the vengeful figure forces her to step back. “You’ve got a Stand power. That’s how you were able to prank us and everypony in town so easily! You just had to use your Stand power to do it.”

Derpy’s eyes shoot open in a moment of recognition and surprise as she looks back and forth between the ghostly figure and Dash. “W-Wait! You can see this? I thought I was going crazy! Or worse, that I was possessed by an evil ghost or something like that.” Derpy’s ears flatten. “Wait, I’m not possessed by an evil spirit am I? It’s not contagious, right?!”

Dash looks at Derpy with a deadpan stare. “Uh, no. A Stand is, well it’s kind of like a ghost ‘cause only ponies with Stands of their own can see them. But it’s not a ghost, it’s like a ‘mani-fest-ation’ of your soul, it's a part of you that comes out when you touch a rare stone.”

Derpy muses over this new information. “When I touched that rock I found on my route two weeks ago I got sick, and then this evil spirit appeared and started following me.” Derpy leaps to her hooves in hope. “That means you can get rid of it, right? Or keep it from hurting other ponies right? How do you……”

“That’s enough! I’m the one asking the questions here!” Dash takes a step forward, reclaiming lost confidence and ground from before Derpy manifested her Stand. “Alright, you’ve got a Stand, but the question still remains: why are you using it to attack everypony?”

“W-What!?” Derpy shouts in clear surprise “I’m not hurting anypony! I love everypony in this town! Why would i want to hurt the ponies i care about!?”

Dash muses over Derpy’ response for a few seconds when suddenly a powerful idea takes plant in her mind. “It’s because you’re after the Red Stones and Strange Stones, isn’t it!” Dash suggests in an intimidating tone of voice. “You’re using your pranks to check and see if they have Stands too, ‘cause if they have Stands it’s likely that they have Red Stones too!” Dash beams with pride at her well-formed theory, confident that Derpy can’t talk her way out of her watertight argument.

“Red….. Stones? What are Red Stones?” Derpy asks, genuinely confused. “Are they rubies or something? Because the stone that i touched sorta looked like a ruby…..”

“What?!” Dash interjects, “Don’t try to play dumb with me! Red Stones are what give ponies Stand powers, so you would obviously be after them because we’re after them.”

“So these Red Stones gave me this ‘Stand’ thing?” Derpy asks. “Why would I want more of these Red Stones in the first place? I’m not trying to prank any pony! I can’t control this ‘Stand’ thing. It leaves these ‘marks’ behind that cause dangerous things to happen!” Derpy rants, desperate to be heard out “I’m not interested in these Red Stone things! I just…. I just want to be left alone…….”

Dash pauses a moment for Derpy’s excuse before promptly blowing her off. “A likely story. From where I’m flying it looks like you can control that thing pretty well to me. You targeted us because we’re with the big-shot Princess Representative and you thought that we’d be easy to take down……”

“I think that she’s telling the truth,” Pinkie states with certainty

“See? Even Pinkie’s agreeing with…. What!?” Dash shouts as she lands on the ground next to her party loving friend. “Pinkie, come on! You’ve got to admit that it’s just way too coincidental that she just ‘happened’ to attack us with her Stand’s pranks! And she just ‘happened’ to shatter the ground with her hoof!”

“Well I’m sorry, Dashie,” Pinkie states clearly and concisely, “But Derpy’s a good pony and if she says that she can’t fully control her power then I believe her.”

“P-Pinkie……” Derpy begins to tear up a little “Thank you. Just…. thank you…..”

“..... all right fine,” Dash concedes. “But I still say that we bring her in to Twilight. If she can’t control her Stand and it's hurting ponies automatically maybe she can help Derpy out. Oh hey and check it out!” Dash reaches behind her back and pulls out a double white band. “Twilight gave me this cool Anti-Stand hoof cuff so we can bring her in all cool like!”

“Well I suppose that would be okay.” Pinkie muses to herself. “Derpy, would you like to come with us and talk to Twilight? She knows more about Stands than any pony so I’m sure that she could help you out!”

Derpy shuffles her hooves nervously, debating her options. On one hoof she really trusted Pinkie; despite Pinkie’s usual zaniness she could be very reliable at times, and if Pinkie thought Twilight could help then it was usually worth trying. However, on the other hoof what if her Stand couldn’t be cured like Pinkie said? What if there was no controlling this power that she had? What if they took her away to those special prisons that she heard about where ponies who couldn’t control their magic go? What about her daughter, who would take care of her if she wasn’t there? “Well, I’m not so sure, Pinkie, I mean……”

“Yack-Yack-Yack.” Dash trots up to Derpy. “Let’s just get these babies on so that you won’t ‘accidently’ prank us! I’m telling you Pinkie, ever since Twilight used these on Lyra I’ve wanted to…..”

Derpy’s Stand turns to face Rainbow Dash, a fierce yellow glow in its eyes. Perhaps it was due to the suddenness that Dash dropped down. Perhaps it was due to Derpy’s worries over whether or not going with Dash and Pinkie was the best idea. Or perhaps the Stand just didn’t like the rainbow pegasus’ attitude. The motives behind it were quite possibly unknowable. However what could not be denied was that the moment that Dash tried to slip the cuffs over Derpy’s hooves, her Stand shot out and with one power-packed jab sent the rainbow mare sailing flat on her back. The hoof-cuffs clinked on the ground a second later as the Stand lashed out again, breaking the cuffs into pieces with three chaotic punches, contorting the steel of the cuffs beyond recognition.

The grey mailmare looks on in fear at the prismatic pegasus. “Dash! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to… I mean you just frightened me and…. Are you alright?”

The rainbow mare flips herself over, wiping a little blood from her muzzle as she rises to her hooves. “So that’s the way it's going to be, you’re going to lure me in close so that you can sucker punch me, hunh?” Dash turns to face Derpy, the fire of combat burning in her eyes. “Alright, you want to do this the hard way? Fine, we’ll do this the hard way.”

Derpy backpedals as the rainbow mare takes another step forward, her entire body ready to pounce at the slightest movement from the mailmare in front of her. Raising her hoof to take another step forward Dash prepares to leap ahead and finish the battle quickly when she is suddenly stopped by Derpy’s voice.

“Stop, Dash!” Derpy points her hoof towards the rainbow mare. “Don’t step there! Don’t step on that bubble!” Rainbow Dash stops her hoof in midair as she looks where she was about to step, and sure enough the ground where she would have stepped has a small bubble protruding from the cement cobblestone.

“What’s this?” Dash asks “ Is this a bubble?”

Derpy nods. “I was telling you about this before, Dash, my Stand leaves marks behind that create dangerous zones! If you step on that mark I won’t be able to prevent myself from hurting you!”

“Is that a threat?!” Dash glares at the grey mare, her resolve returning as she becomes more and more convinced of Derpy’s guilt. “I knew that you were an enemy! Well thanks for the warning, but it’s totally not necessary!”

Dash takes to the air, hovering over the mark on the ground. “In case you forgot, I can fly. You won’t be getting any of our Strange Stones or making a fool out of me with your little prank bubbles.”

With a quick snap of her wings the rainbow mare rushes Derpy, her arms raised to attack. Lashing out reflexively, Derpy’s Stand swings its propellered hoof at Rainbow, missing her by a large margin as Dash punches the mailmare with a heavy stomach clenching uppercut. Derpy gasps as she falls to her elbows, trying to regain her breath as Dash backpedals out of the mare’s range. “Give it a rest, Derpy, you don’t stand a chance; just give up and deactivate your Stand already.”

Looking Dash in the eyes, a sudden intensity of anger fills the mare. “I told you Dash! I can’t control it! It’s attacking on its own! And I don’t want to fight you!” As if responding to her anger the Stand advances and throws another swift, however Dash doesn’t even need to put effort into dodging it as the Stand’s inaccurate punch misses her by a mile.

“Right, and your Stand is just coincidentally trying to beat the stuffing out of me. I should have known.” Dash lands on the ground as she circles around the mailmare to get a better angle of attack. “If I remember right, you’re the one that attacked me first! But at the end of the day it doesn't matter, no matter who started it, I’m ending it.”

“Dashie! Just stop!” Both Dash and Derpy stop and turn all their focus on the Pink mare on the sidelines. Pinkie falls to her rump as her eyes fill with tears as her mane begins to deflate. “Just….. stop! I don’t want my friends fighting like this.” Pinkie sniffles. “If Derpy really can’t control what she’s doing then…… Then you shouldn’t be fighting! I just don’t want…… I don’t want anypony getting hurt……Especially you Dashie….”

Dash’s fire is quenched as she watches her friend sob pitifully off on the sidelines. As she gazes into Pinkie’s eyes, Dash begins to realize the depth of her own actions and the impact that they have: she is literally subduing a pony to go with her against her will, a pony who is also a mother. And regardless of what she has done or what she will do that pony has ponies, like Pinkie, who care deeply about her, ponies who depend on and rely upon her being there. Looking at Pinkie, Dash takes a deep calming breath in and out, smothering her anger and frustration directed at Derpy in favor of empathy.

“I know, Pinkie,” Dash sighs as she looks back into Pinkie’s eyes, giving a stern but assuring look. “I know that it’s hard for you to watch, but this has to be done.” Dash states firmly as she looks at the scared mailmare in front of her. “Whether it’s intentional or not, Derpy’s been hurting ponies and if she’s going to get better than I need to bring her down and bring her in.”

Dash turns to Derpy, her fire rekindled. “And if you are telling the truth, and you really can’t control your Stand, then that’s all the more reason to knock you out so you can’t use it to hurt anypony.” Dash cracks her hooves as a grim look crosses her face. “Then I’m going to bring you to Twilight so she can make sure that your power won’t endanger my friends, or anypony in this town anymore.”

Dash raises her hoof to eye level as she judges the Stand’s range and speed. “From what I can tell your Stand is really powerful but it can’t hit the broadside of a barn. I’m guessing that it can only hit something when it’s right in front of your muzzle.” The speedster pounds her hooves together, a rainbow aura encasing them. “So to show you that I’m not doing this to spite you, I’ll bring you down in one punch! With my own Stand, Valkyrie.”

Launching off the ground like a prismatic torpedo, Dash sails through the air past Derpy’s guard and her Stand’s flailing attack. In the space of less than a second the mare uppercuts Derpy with a single rainbow-powered explosion, sending Derpy corkscrewing into the air with the force of Dash’s Valkyrie. Landing on the ground dramatically, Dash turns her back to her opponent as Derpy hits the dirt with an unceremonious thud. “Sorry, Derpy…..” Dash cranes her neck behind her to look at her opponent. “But your Stand was a thousand years too early to lay a hoof on me.”

Walking a distance away from the grey mailmare Dash walks up to Pinkie, putting a reassuring hoof on her shoulder. “Hey Pinks? Are you okay?”

Pinkie looks between her friend Dash, and the prone Derpy behind her as a melancholy but kind smile returns to the party pony’s face. Wiping a few errant tears from her eyes, the pink mare’s curly mane begins to return. “T-Thanks Dashie, I don’t know what came over me back there; it’s not like me to cry like that.”

“Hey, don’t sweat it.” Dash brushes a tear from Pinkie’s eye. “You were worried about your friends, it’s natural.” Dash turns to look at Derpy’s’ prone form. “Don’t worry, once we bring her to Twilight we’ll know what to do with her.”

“Y-Yeah….” Pinkie looks at Derpy. “That’s what I’m worried about. What if she really can’t control her power? What if she really does have to be taken away? What if…..”

Pinkie’s rant is cut off as Dash places her hoof over her mouth, silencing the mare. “What if a giant meteor falls out of the sky and crushes us flat? Like I said, don’t worry about it! Twilight’s a wiz at this kind of stuff.”

Her friend comforted, a childish grin spreads across Dash’s face. “But now that it’s over, did you see me back there?! How awesome was that? I totally defeated a rogue Stand user and the legendary prankster! That means I win the contest!”

“WHAT!?” Pinkie gapes “You’re still thinking about that! Dashie……”

“What, Pinkie? Jealous that you lost?”

“Pfft. No way! I was going to say that I should have won!” Pinkie says with sass as her normal smile returns. “Just cause you defeated Derpy doesn’t mean that you’re a better pranker. The winner should be me!”

“What? And why should you win? All you did was sit on your rump and cry like a baby!”

At the mention of the word ‘baby’ Pinkie begins to tear up, her eyes threatening to overflow as her mane slowly deflates.

“Oh, Celestia. Look, Pinkie, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to call you a baby I was just….”

Leaping up the mare bops Dash on the nose, instantly returning to her normal cheerful self. “Ha Ha! Got you, Dashie! You’re just way too easy to fool! Just like you were before.” The pink mare swoons backwards as if acting in a fancy play. “T-Thanks, Dashie, I don’t know what came over me back there… BWA Ha Ha!”

Dash blushes crimson as small bubbles fall over her from above. “What! No way that was an act! You were actually crying your eyes out there!”

“Maybe….” Pinkie smiles coyly as bubbles continue to rain down. “Or maybe I was just pranking you!”

“Bull,” Dash states defiantly, “…and will you stop with these bubble? it’s not much of a prank if it’s not funny…..”

Pinkie immediately stops laughing. “Um, Dashie, I’m not making any bubbles. I left my bubble machine at home today because I thought that I wouldn’t need it.”

Dash swats at the bubbles which shatter into oblivion at the slightest touch from her hoof. “Seriously, what the hay? Bubbles? Where did these come from?” Dash freezes as she remembers something that Derpy said before. “Wait a second, Pinkie, didn’t Derpy….”

“Is that….. Is that all you’ve got?” Dash freezes as the hairs on her neck stand on end. Both mares turn around slowly with stunned expressions to see the very same grey mailmare that they thought was completely unconscious rising shakily to her hooves.

“If you thought…..” Derpy stutters as small amounts of blood trickle down her muzzle. “If you thought that you could just knock me down like that, and take me away from my daughter…… from my home, you had better think again. I’ve taken worse blows than that…..”

Derpy takes a step forward, pointing an intimidating hoof at Dash’s forehead. “I told you I didn’t want to fight you, but if you are going to pick on me…. then I have no choice, I’ll fight back with everything I’ve got.” Derpy strikes a sudden confident pose, her wall-eyes lining up for once in her life as she stares Dash down. “And this time, you won’t see me back down.”

“Derpy,” Dash states, visibly shaken at the mailmare’s sudden change in personality. “I mean that was a really cool one liner and all, but Look at you! You’re barely standing, just give up and come with us and I won’t have to hurt you.”

Derpy smirks. “Is that a threat?” Derpy points her hoof towards the stunned speedster. “Sorry, Dash, but I just don’t feel like losing to you anymore.”

Dash narrows her eyes. “What do you mean by….”

“Dash, look out!” All of a sudden Dash finds herself pinned to the ground by a pink party mare as a barrage of random items falls out of the sky right on top of the two ponies. Dash and Pinkie’s forms are lost in the dust as no less than a flowerpot, an anvil, a cart full of hay and a grant piano falls right on top of the two unlucky mares, the intense weight of the items alone capable of felling a young drake with ease.

Meanwhile, one hundred hooves in the air above, the Ponyville moving crew looks down sheepishly at the several items that they just let fall out of their moving van, each member looking at the other as they speculate the cost of the times that they’ve just inadvertently destroyed. Whistling innocently to themselves the moving crew flies off in a hurry, hoping to Celestia that no pony would discover the extent to which they screwed up.

Back on the ground a certain cerulean mare, convinced that she and Pinkie have been crushed to death, screams out in agony. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!”





The pink mare takes a large draught of air. “DASHIE!!” Rainbow Dash stops screaming as she looks over at Pinkie across from her. “Dashie, we’re fine. No need to scream, silly filly.”

“Bu…What?! But there’s no way!” Sure enough, even though booth mares are pinned under hundreds of pounds of rubble both are perfectly unharmed, suffering not even minor breathing troubles from the monumental weight above their heads. “That makes no sense! We should be crushed to death! Was it something that you did, Pinkie?”

“No, I did that.” Derpy walks up to the two mares, manifesting her Stand. “That’s the power of my bubble markings.” Derpy extends her hoof to her flank, pulling off a round bubble-shaped sphere from her cutie mark and presenting it before the two mares. “True, the bubble traps may be pretty nasty, and they may make ponies sad, but they never really hurt anypony even if the ‘prank’ normally would. That’s why all that stuff could fall on you and you’re not even hurt.”

Dash flails about, trying to dislodge herself from under the rubble but to no avail, as Derpy walks up to Dash with a disappointed look on her face. “I’m ashamed of you, Dashie….” Dash literally winces from the kind mare’s reproach. “I tried to warn you not to touch the bubbles that my Stand creates. I tried to tell you that I didn’t want to hurt you. But you… you picked on me anyways! Even when I told you to stop! And you never listened!”

Lifting her muzzle at the mare in reproach, Derpy puts the bubble back on her flank as her Stand strikes a pose. “So I hit you with a special attack that I just made up, I call it Bubble Launcher!” Derpy grins goofily as she admires her handiwork. “Pretty cool, hunh? I didn’t think that I would be able to throw my danger bubbles like that. But I guess I’m getting better at using this Stand power thing.”

Derpy’s face suddenly brightens as a brilliant idea fills her head. “Say, you gave your Stand thing a name, hunh Dashie? I should give my Stand a name too!” Derpy taps her hoof to her chin and sits on her rump in deep thought. “Well, my Stand is kind of dangerous and it has propellers on it….. Pinkie?” Derpy turns towards the pinned party mare. “You always have good ideas, what do you think?”

Pinkie scrunches her face in intense concentration as she puts her best brain cells on the case. “Well, there’s no real rule for naming Stands other than it has to be a title of something, most often a song or a movie title. But I named my own Stand Surprise, ‘cause it was so surprising! So if you asked me I would say name it after what it does.” Pinkie shrugs under the pile of rubble. “Or whatever floats your boat! You’re the boss, Derpy!”

“Wowie! You have a Stand too, Pinkie? That’s so cool! And that’s some great advice, too! I knew that I could count on you, Pinkie!” Pinkie beams with happiness at Derpy’s compliment as the grey mailmare puts her mind back on track with thinking up a name for her Stand; her eyes rolling in her head as she concentrates with all her might. “Humh…… well, my Stand is pretty dangerous…… and it creates these zones where bad things happen…… Oh I’ve got it! Danger Zone!” Derpy puffs out her chest in pride. “Yeah! That sounds really cool! What do you think, Dash?”

Dash laughs insincerely at Derpy’s name for her Stand as the grey mare poses in front of her. “He He! Yeah that’s a great name, Derpy! A real go getter.” Dash struggles one last time against the pile of debris as she looks pleadingly into Derpy’s eyes. “Now if you don’t mind pulling all this stuff off of us we can just put all this behind us and laugh it off like good friends do. What do you say, Buddy old pal?”

Derpy looks at Dash with a wall eyed stare for a moment before grinning sheepishly. “Oh no, I can’t let you go yet!” Derpy claps her hooves together as her Stand mirrors her actions menacingly.

This action does not go unnoticed by a certain cerulean pegasus, who gulps heavily. “Uh, Derpy, what are you doing? Um, could you not, I don’t know, go waving that Stand around? You’re kind of making me nervous.”

Derpy points her Stand’s winged hoof at Rainbow Dash as she lines up her perfect shot. “Now I’m sorry if this will hurt a little. But you need to learn that bullying ponies is never acceptable! You can’t just go around picking on ponies for something that they can’t control!”

Derpy winds up her Stand as she readies the most intense haymaker of all time. “Trust me……” the mailmare whispers under her breath, “.....I know that feeling all too well.”

Dash flails about as she tries to move an inch, to dodge, to move out of the way, to do something; but both her and Pinkie are completely and utterly pinned. Both are sitting ducks for an attack from a vengeful mare that there is no getting away from. “Derpy! Come on Mare! Let’s just talk this out like civilized ponies!” Dash laughs nervously as she realizes that there is no way that she can dodge Derpy’s blow, and from experience she knows that the wall-eyed mare packs a real punch “I’m sure that we can come to a nice, reasonable………”


With one single punch, Derpy’s Danger Zone sends the two prone mares flying at near supersonic speeds, crashing through the building behind them with enough destructive force to send them careening through the multiple walls of reinforced plaster and drywall. Wall after wall crumbles behind them as the two mares smash through everything in their trajectory, their unconscious flailing forms shattering the solid walls in their path as easily as a sledgehammer tearing through wet paper..

……….Meanwhile in Carousel Boutique…………

“……..Rarity darling, you have truly outdone yourself.” The ivory mare smiles to herself as she cuts the last lacy ribbon off of her latest creations, several Gala dresses designed solely for the Princess of Equestria and her royal entourage. The dresses stand magically suspended above the floor, encased in her magic as the mare makes her final touches. Normally she would use a poniquin, but this was no normal order; after all, this was for the Princess and her frame was much bigger than a normal pony.

Ever since Twilight had promised the fashionista the rights to make dresses for the highest levels of nobility in Canterlot, the ivory mare had been enduring moment after agonizing moment crossing her hooves, hoping beyond hope for the immortal ruler of Equestria to consent to wearing her fashion. Finally, after what seemed like eons, the Princess had come across Rarity’s request forwarded by none other than her prized student and kindly requested a demonstration of her talents, saying that she would be happy to try on anything a friend of Twilight made. Rarity’s heart might have stopped at the news of this moment if it were not for uplifting feeling of euphoria that filled her every essence. She, Rarity Everygem Belle, was the official dressmaker for the Princess. All of a sudden, all the losses she suffered at the hooves of ‘more capable’ Canterlot show ponies meant nothing, for she was a designer for royalty after all! No longer could a pony look down on her work, her dresses were now the pinnacle of fashion and fabulousness.

And indeed her dresses were majestic, the two most perfect outfits that Rarity could design. After all, nothing short of her absolute best would do for the god-ruler of Equestria, and so Rarity had put all her efforts into these two dresses. A full three days and nights of sweat and tears of careful stitching embroidering and sewing that was preceded by two whole weeks of flawless designing in the early hours of the morning. However, standing back to admire them Rarity couldn’t help but feel that all of her work was worth it: the dresses were stunning.

For the first dress, Rarity chose to embroider the majesty of the sun and all its glory: a long flowing ball gown embroidered with a flawless representation of Celestia’s majestic sun in red diamonds. Lace of the purest white flowed out of every sunbeam on the dress like water from a stream, crisscrossing over each other as they covered the dress in a thatched pattern. Around the neck of the ball gown a white hoof-stitched ruff accentuated the wearer’s long neck and left room for Celestia’s royal peytral.

The second outfit was the polar opposite of the first, designed to represent Celestia’s dominance as the warden of the night, an elegant black cocktail dress highlighted with dark blues and a wavy black shawl bedazzled with shimmering diamonds to represent the multitude of stars in the sky. Long strings of sapphire and diamond beads lined the dress’ sides, each one never longer than six inches, and would give the impression of the moving night’s sky with every step the wearer made. The short sleeveless foreleg coverings more resembled armor than a dress and were designed to convey the mysterious power of the night.

Rarity looked upon her creation and saw that it was good. Surely these two dresses would make her the cornerstone of Equestrian fashion, and would also make a flawless gift for the Princess. “Flawless, Rarity….” Rarity tells herself as she looks upon her creation “…..Absolutely flawless. I daresay that I really think that you have outdone yourself this….”


With force enough to shatter the dreams of one thousand children the wall to Rarity’s left explodes in a cacophony of sound. Before the mare can even process what has happened two Pink and Blue projectiles sail through her store and tear through her dresses before flying out the other side of her shop with a resounding crash. The mare blinks in dumbfounded surprise as she stares at the spot where her dresses were magically suspended. “What?”

Pulling her head through the wall where the projectiles came from, Derpy looks through the gaping hole in Rarity’s shop and gasps in horror. “Oh no! I didn’t mean to hit Pinkie too! I’m so sorry, Pinkie!”

“What.” The stunned fashionista’s mane springs a little out of place. “What just happened to my dresses?” Half-stunned, the ivory mare cranes her neck to look out the gaping hole in the other side of Carousel Boutique, her heart stopping at the sight her eyes are transmitting to her already-stalled brain.

Hanging by a flagpole outside her shop and dressed in the torn and dirtied remains of her fabulous dresses are the unconscious forms of the two most troublesome ponies in Ponyville, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. Each one is tangled up in the cord of the flagpole, hanging upside down, giving each and every pony in the town square an unflattering presentation of the two mare’s spanked rears, a large horseshoe shaped mark a testament to their thorough flank-kicking. The entire town square stands stunned at the sight of the two most mischievous ponies dressed up like princesses and hanging from the flagpole, nopony able or willing to say even a single word. Suddenly, as if unbidden, a small snicker escapes from a nameless pony in the crowd, only for it to be quickly suppressed. Yet the offending noise is soon joined by another snicker, and then another as the snickers evolve into chuckles, more and more ponies unable to suppress the wellspring of mirth born from the absurdity of the situation. Then, as if no pony can stand it anymore, the entire crowd breaks out into uproarious laughter at the sight before them, each one bellowing at the top of their lungs at the two unconscious figures hanging from the flagpole like piñatas.

Everypony except a stunned fashionista, her eyes twitching and her mind spinning at the destruction of a dress she spent weeks in preparation for. Her mind finally catching up to what she is seeing, the mare looks upon the destruction of her beautiful dresses and despairs.

Raising her hooves to the heavens the ivory mare shouts over the crowd with the anguish only a denied drama queen can muster






Her forehead throbbing and her mind hazy, Rainbow Dash the defeated groans in pain as she tries to make sense of her surroundings. Looking around, Dash can clearly see that she is no longer outside. It seems as though she has been placed on a green couch inside an average home of some kind, not too nice but not a bad place to live either. Looking down at her torso the rainbow-maned mare notices a light yellow blanket covering her, a soft pillow rests under her head, there is even a glass of milk sitting on the coffee table to her left. ‘Okay, so wherever I am at least it’s friendly.’

The cerulean mare groggily throws the blanket off her body as she better positions herself on the couch, sitting herself up and propping her back against its back. “Don’t move….” Dash spins her head to see Derpy Hooves walking towards her, a tray with a piping hot kettle of tea on her back. “…..You shouldn’t move so soon. You were out for quite a while. I guess I hit you a little too hard.”

Dash’s imminent interjection is cut off by a smaller, harsher voice. “Mom? Are you okay in there?” Dash turns her gaze to the newcomer in the room, a small grey-coated unicorn filly with a scraggly blond mane and a worried look on her face. Dash guesses that she can’t be older than that filly that always watches her tricks, Scootaloo or something, as the filly also lacks a cutie Mark.

Derpy turns to the filly giving her an assuring look. “It’s all right, sweetie, I’m just having a conversation with Dash here. Why don’t you go and help Pinkie in the kitchen?” The grey filly looks between the two mares in the room, worried but not nervous as Dash finally pieces together the fact that this must be Derpy’s daughter. Dinky takes one last look at Dash, giving her the most intimidating look a filly can muster before walking back out of the room.

“Sorry about Dinky,” Derpy apologizes, “she worries about her mother more than she should.” Reaching behind her back the mailmare picks up a cup with her hooves while simultaneously picking up the boiling kettle with her mouth. Pouring a cup of the light teal liquid into the cup she hooves it over to Dash with a smile on her face. “Here. Drink this, it’s an old herbal remedy the previous mailmare taught me, it is amazing at relieving sore muscles and body tension. Trust me, I know that it works.”

Dash looks suspiciously at the cup before gulping the entire cup down in half a second, not even bothered at the piping hot temperature of the tea. Smacking her lips the mare judges the taste. “Not bad, it’s got a good taste, though I’m not much of one for tea parties.” Dash looks around the room. “So this is your house, hunh? Why am I here?”

Derpy chuckles. “Well, silly, I sort of brought you both, that is you and Pinkie, here after I sort of……. Well, I knocked you clean through Rarity’s boutique and into the town square.” Derpy puts a hoof over her mouth as she points to Dash’s torso. “And you kind of picked up some fancy new clothes on your way!”

Dash looks down and immediately regrets it as she sees herself wearing a frilly white dress, the kind that she would never be caught dead in. Dash blushes as she vainly tries to cover her un-exposed body. “Derpy, please tell me I wasn’t passed out in the town square wearing this.”

“No, don’t worry, Dashie……...”

Dash breathes a sigh of relief. “Thank the Goddess.”

“…….You were hanging by a flagpole in the town square wearing that!”

Dash groans as her face lands heavily into her lap, her body temporarily losing its ability to stand straight due to the shame she feels over the loss of her awesomeness. Seeing Dash’s condition, Derpy pats the blue mare on the back and comforts her. “Don’t worry about it, rumors and things like that come and go. Ponies will forget about it in a week……”

“A WEEK?!”

“……Well, it could be three days if something else happens, but a week is the usual norm for ponies forgetting stuff. But I don’t think that Rarity will be as forgiving.” Derpy shivers as she remembers the face of the fashionista, the full wrath of a scorned mare. “She looked pretty steamed.”

Dash groans again. “Rarity’s the least of my worries; ponies will never forget this!” Dash turns to the grey mailmare as she rants on. “I mean, I have a reputation to uphold! What kind of pony gets knocked out and dumped in the middle of town square in a namby-panby dress?” The speedster shouts as she tears the offending white fabric off her body.

Dash grabs Derpy, looking her dead in the eyes. “I’ll tell you who doesn’t, the Wonderbolts! And now even if I do impress them with my super cool tricks they’ll still know about this!” Dash looks up at the ceiling as she pictures the look on her idol Spitfire’s face. “And that’s not all. Ponies know that they can depend on me because of my flawless image! If ponies don’t think that I’m cool then no pony will trust me, they’ll think ‘oh it’s Dash the loser’; no pony can depend on a pony like that! What will my friends think about me if I can’t……”

“I’m sorry!” Derpy blurts out.

“Excuse me?”Dash stop mid rant as she sees the wall eyed mare beginning to cry in front of her, her face filled with shame and regret. “Derpy what are you….”

Derpy’s wings bristle as she repeats herself. “I said that I’m so sorry! I never meant to pull those pranks and make a fool of anypony, especially a pony as cool as you, Dashie.” Derpy looks down at the ground, tears streaming down her face and dripping onto the floor. “I got really sick one day and I was so scared for Dinky because I thought she would get sick too. When I got better I… I thought that it was all over but then this invisible thing started following me and nopony else could see it so I thought I was going crazy and all these accidents started happening around me and I didn’t know what to do and……”

The grey mare is practically sobbing at this point. “…..and…. and you just came out of nowhere and started yelling at me and I…… I……” Derpy takes a deep steadybreath, calming herself down. “I have no excuse for how I acted. There is never any excuse for hurting a pony like that even unintentionally. So I’m sorry.”

Dash mind stalls as the looks upon the face of the crying Derpy Hooves; however, this time Dash is able to glance beyond the superficial labels that she and ponies like her have forced upon Derpy hooves. Labels of a klutz, of a dunce incapable of complex thought, of a walking spiteful disaster. Instead, she sees the face of a frightened mare who loves her family and obtained a curse that caused her to unintentionally bring harm to others. “…..So your real purpose wasn’t to prank any pony? It was to deliver the ponies of Ponyville’s mail?”

“I’m so sorry!” Derpy bows her head.

Dash places a reassuring hoof on Derpy’s shoulder as she raises her head. “No, Derpy, I’m sorry. I should have realized it earlier, Pinkie was right; you would never hurt anypony if you could help it. I just got, well I got carried away with all that was happening.” THe speedster asks with absolute sincerity filling her voice. “Can you ever forgive me for being an awful friend?”

Derpy sniffs as she wipes the tears from her eyes. “R-Really?” She asks.

“Really really.” Dash nods.

“Really really really?!” Pinkie says as she jumps out from between the two giving them both a mild fright. However this fright is forgotten as the pink party mare pulls the two into a warm embrace. “Don’t worry, Derpy, I forgive you too! And I’m sure that everypony in town would forgive you if they knew it was because of a Mean old Stand.” Pinkie looks up as she remembers something “Well, Twilight said that I couldn’t tell anypony else about Stands, or that I couldn’t tell anypony to tell anypony about Stands, or that I couldn’t tell anypony to tell a pony to tell another pony about Stands. But I bet that even if they didn’t know that it was a Stand and if they knew that you were the legendary prankster they’d still forgive you because they all love you so much! In fact, some of your pranks were really funny so I bet a lot of ponies enjoyed them, they were just scared cause didn’t know who was pranking them and why they were pranking them!”

“Pinkie’s right, mom.” Derpy turns to see her daughter carrying a small tray of muffins in the yellow glow of her levitation. Placing the tray on the table Dinky looks at her mother. “You taught me and every pony in this town that it’s wrong to hate or dislike ponies for something that they can’t control, so they’d never be upset if you knew that it was an accident. And even if you did mean it….”

Dinky rushes forward, hugging her mother, rubbing her teary eyes into her mother’s coat “….you’d still be the best mom in the world, and nothing could change that.” Derpy’s tears cease as she proudly holds her daughter in her arms, demonstrating the depth of her love in a way that requires no words or language to express.

“Besides…..” Dinky breaks the hug, giggling a little to herself. “….Some of your pranks were pretty funny.”

“I know, right!” Pinkie leaps up, displaying her new frayed black dress. “I mean, who would have imagined that me and Dash would look so good?”

Dash glares at Pinkie as the rest of the room breaks out into a fit of giggles. Even Derpy begins to cheer up. “I just wish that I could control my power better.” Derpy begins to droop again as the laughter in the room dies down.

“I mean, I seem to lose control of my Stand when I’m really emotional, but I just wish that I could control my Stand all the time; like I could during that fight with Dash.” The mare taps her hooves nervously as her lazy eye drifts off to the side. “I mean, then it was a dangerous fight but it was almost like Danger Zone was a part of me, like it listened to my every command.” The mailare sags. “But I guess now I’ll have to be taken in to Twilight since I can’t control it anymore….”

Suddenly, a lightbulb goes on above Dash’s head. “That’s it! Thanks, Pinkie!”

Pinkie takes the lightbulb that she placed over Dash’s head and stores it in her mane. “No problemo, Dashie! Now, what’s your brilliant idea?”

Dash pulls the pink mare into a huddle. “Follow my lead,” Dash whispers into Pinkie’s ear, much to the confusion of Derpy. “Yes Pinkie you’re right! That was an awesome prank, it probably had to be the best prank of all time! It was so much better than ours.”

“Well I don’t think that it’s very fair to say that her prank was the best of all time. I mean, there was this one time when I….” Dash elbows the pink mare, who remembers her role. “….Oh yes! I mean how could Derpy’s prank not be the best of all time? I mean it was so Derpy!”

“Yes it was so awesome I think that there is no question about it! What do you think, Pinkie?”

“Well I don’t know what you’re thinking but I agree with what you agree with, Dashie!”

“Then it’s settled.” Dash raises her hoof ceremoniously over Derpy’s head. “Derpy, in the name of the Lather….” Dash taps Derpy’s left shoulder, “…..the Pun….” Dash taps Derpy’s right shoulder, “and the Holy Boast, I hereby dub thee the Master Pranker of Ponyville and the winner of our prank contest!”

“What!?” Derpy exclaims. “But it was a complete accident! I didn’t mean to prank anypony!”

“That’s why you’re the obvious winner, Derpy!” Dash smiles confidently. “You’re a natural!”

Derpy facehooves. “…..That’s not what I meant!”

“Don’t forget about your prize!” Dash exclaims. “According to the rules of our prank contest, the losers have to serve the winner for three days!”

“What!?” This time Pinkie is the one yelling. “But, you, and me, and slave, and….”

“Pinkie’s right!” Derpy exclaims, “I don’t want you to be my servants! I don’t want any of….”

Dash stops Derpy by placing her hoof over the mare’s mouth. “Nu-uh! Not another word! You’re not getting off that easily! As your servants for the next three days Pinkie and I,” Dash points to herself in boast. “As master Stand users, will be training you nonstop! To better fulfill your desires we will train you for three days and nights, instilling in you all the skills and talent to control your Stand like you request.”

Derpy and Pinkie stand stunned as the cerulean speedster places her hoof reassuringly on the mailmare’s shoulder. “And by the end of our studious sessions you will have finally learned to control your Stand powers so that you, Derpy Hooves, will never hurt another pony by accident ever again!” Dash smiles as she extends her hoof towards Derpy. “So….. What do you say, do we have a deal?”

Suddenly realizing the extent of what the blue mare is sacrificing for her, Derpy begins to once again tear up from the thoughtfulness of the mare before her. Just this morning she was terrified of what the future would bring; it seemed like her life was spiraling out of control, and that she would end up losing everything she cherished. And now she is standing here, supported by ponies who care about her and are willing to do everything in their power to help her in her hour of need.

Taking in her sudden and complete reversal of fortunes with an open heart and mind, Derpy wipes the tears off her face stares straight (or as straight as one can with cross-eyes) into Dash’s eyes, her fire ignited. “Well if that’s the case……. Then I accept and promise to take both of your training seriously!” The grey mare snaps a smart salute. “I won’t let you down!”

“All right then!” Dash leaps into the air. “Come on! Training starts now! Let’s head on out to the back yard for some sparring, last one there is a rotten muffin!” With no more words needing to be said, the rest of the group rushes out the back door and into the open air as the sun slowly lowers itself from the sky.

Pinkie however doesn’t move, her mane visibly deflating as she stares at the empty door frame. “But…… But……. I wanted to spend special times with Dashie……”

Dash sticks her head in through the door. “What was that, Pinkie?”

Pinkie's mane springs back into place. “Nothing! It’s nothing, Dash!”

“……Yeah whatever…” Dash rubs her neck shyly, emulating a certain yellow pegasus. “Um, Pinkie………”

“…Yeah, Dashie?”

“Do you want to…… um…….. get a cupcake together after this? As friends, of course!”

“You mean, like a friend date?” Pinkie asks, cocking her head.

“Yeah! As a friend date…. and nothing else.”

“Nothing else?” Pinkie’s mane turns wavy as her sultry voice returns. “Are you sssssssuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrreeeeee you don’t want anything else? Not even a little…. dessert?” Pinkie says as she pulls out a pink frosted cupcake from behind her back.

Dash visibly sweats as she looks at Pinkie. “Well……. Ummmmm, mayb…..”

Dinky shoves her head through the door frame, the sound of her barking voice snapping the two lovebirds out of their trance. “Geez, you two! Can you go two minutes without shipping each other? Well you’re not getting all lovey-dovey in my home.” Dinky rolls her eyes. “Seriously you two, get a room!”

Dash looks around. “….Um, kid? We kind of are in a room.”

“…… Just get outside and help my mom already.” Dinky walks out of the room in a huff. “Seriously, adults are so gross.”

Author's Note:

Chapter END: Status
Area Discovered: Abandoned Alleyway
Derpy’s House
Party: Pinkie and Dash were Defeated!
But it was all right because Derpy is best pony! ☺
Enemies: Derpy Hooves
Stand: Danger Zone!
Allies: Derpy Hooves learned to better control her own Stand and made peace with the other Crusaders!

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