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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Hmm. Interesting. The body, the magic, and the herd instinct made it through, but little else. Also, tatzlponies. Whoops.
In any case, Will seems to be vaccinated. "Seems" being the operative word. He may have just gotten a minimal dose, with more exposure leading to further transformation. It remains to be seen.
Also:
Missing "and," I think.
5977865 Fixed, thanks.
I hope this doesn't have a bad ending...
5977878 Why doesn't the he saw the horn off?
5977938 Is it even possible for a zombie fic to have a good ending?
this story is getting vary interesting.
ok I am hooked,
now if I am right I know who he is turning it to or should I say she.
Harts Fire
5978003 why don't you saw your dick off, and see how it feels
5978003 Right after you saw off your arm? Most people aren't that eager to hack off bits of themselves, if he even has a saw to try it with. Sounds like a grand way to commit suicide the slow and painful way though? Maybe I'm looking at it the wrong way.
5978007 5977938
Lollipop Chainsaw had a quite decent one.
Granted, that's a video game, and you need to earn that good ending by saving as many students from infection as possible. The 'OK' ending you get otherwise is a bit darker, but still not that bad by zombie story standards.
The Dead Rising series also generally have a scale of endings; starting at an E ending where you screw up so badly everybody dies, and a near infuriatingly hard to get S ending where you save as many as possible, and get to (more or less) live happily ever after.
I am drawing an utter blank on a non-video game example, though, I'll freely admit that much.
Wasn't this marked Mature the last time I saw it? A shame you're not following through on that.
5978099 I have done nothing to earn the rating, or the sex tag. Should I add it 'just in case' or when the story demands it? Nothing in here's worse than PG-13 so far.
5978101 I'm not really sure. If you change it when you need it, it might alienate readers who thought they were in for a Teen-rated story. You could possibly have the mature content in a separate story if you're planning something sizable, but if you're not and you are planning on having mature content I'd recommend labeling this Mature from the get-go.
5978113 Alrighty then. I'm not trying to pull the wool over anypony's eyes. I feel equally as bad making people think there be clop present and poof, no clop here so far.
5978129 Indeed. Maybe just stipulate that there may be some later on in the description, perhaps?
Also I hope I'm not pressuring you to make this story Mature or anything: it is your story after all.
5978141 I'm not a prude. A little clop won't make my eyes melt or anything, and I did have some potentials in mind. They're zombies, but soft and warm and cuddly! Sexytimes could happen without being nearly as weird as a normal zombie situation.
5978147 Alright. Thanks for that.
It looks like the infection if you resist the corrupted part long enough like a normal fever, you just end up with just the essence. I think that is why Sandra is feeling so much better now with the desire so much less urgent despite almost full pony. I wonder if that is the case, will he find other infected people and help them through there changes so they don't end up as the corrupted version.
5978043 it's not suicide if you cauterize it afterwards.. but cauterizing your head and living through it would be very hard.
5978359
5978043
Should be mentioned that in quite a few stories, horns are extremely sensitive. You know, being organs meant to sense, generate, and manipulate energy fields of sorts. As such I imagine it has quite a few nerve clusters connected directly to the brain, and would probably be more than a little painful if disturbed.
one-story
Capitalize I
5981730 Fixed! Only two? Typo saints be praise!
This is a pretty cool premise and execution (and it's fun to see such a twist on the usual 'crazy infection virus thing goes around', where your protagonist is infected and the infected aren't going around trying to kill/eat everyone. Also, ponies.), and I very much like your writing style. My only gripe thus far is this.
'So that's what we did. The next day had Sandra with a big red tail, and she grew fuzzy ears in the afternoon of the same brilliant color. She kept looking towards the door like she wanted to go, but she didn't go. My horn grew in stupidly long, but nothing else happened. I tried to use the magic I saw the unicorn doing and after a few hours of work, I could summon the remote from across the room. Score! The feat seemed to amuse Sandra. "At least you got something useful out of it."'
Two pretty major things happened here - Sandra is starting to morph, and suddenly the protag can use magic. Those are big events, and I feel like they deserve some more exposition, even if it's a brief scene where they wake up in the morning and find Sandra has a tail, or some failed attempts at magic before the protagonist finally 'gets it' (how does it feel? How does he pull it off?) There just seems to be too many important/strange things going on in this segment of time to be wrapped up into a neat little paragraph - there's no time to show the psychological impact of any of it like that.
But yeah, very cool story - you have my attention.
5984752 Sorry about being brief on the 'warm up' as it were. I'm glad you're enjoying the ride though! I'm trying to give things a bit more attention as we move forward. I do welcome feedback though, so I look forward to seeing you up at the front of the story, as I'll be doing an update every single day, rawr! (Don't think I can do it? I already do it with my other stories, ha ha ha)
I'm having a blast running with this concept, and it only gets stranger from here, promise.
ch3
How bout 'I did, so I looked for a bedroom' ?
*Personal serious note: Not trying to be picky so please don't take my suggestions the wrong way, I'm not trying to troll you or whatever you think of me but if chance comes at you making Silververse into a book series (and I hope you do, cause the more people stick it to JKR the happier I am) some editor is going to point out repetitive items like this. So if I can help prevent that, the better for you.*
So if this is a bodily fluid transferred...thing? There must be a patient zero, I guess we'll learn about them & where they came from soon? edit: oops, read further, I withdraw the question.
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Le doy unos capĂtulos mas