My First Day Of School
My name is Fire Hoof. I am an orange pegasus with black hooves. My mane and tail are long and flowing, and are also orange and black. My muzzle, like my hooves, have a similar black pattern. I am ten years old, and my passion is flying, drawing, and racing. My family is from Whitetail Woods, but yesterday we moved to Ponyville. I am sitting in my new chair, at my new desk, at my new school.
The teacher is very smart. Her name is Ms. Cheerilee. She is the color purple, and her cutiemark is three flowers. I wish I had my cutiemark. To my left sits an orange pegasus filly with short purple hair. She looks fun, but I am too shy to talk to her right now. To my right sits a silver earth pony with blue glasses. In front of me is a white unicorn with curly hair. Ms. Cheerilee begins class.
First she introduced me to my classmates. "Alright, students. Now, as you all may have realized, we have a new student starting today! Her name is Fire Hoof, and she is all the way from Whitetail Woods! Fire Hoof, would you like to tell the class 'hello'?"
"Hi... I'm Fire Hoof, but you can call me by my middle name, Bolt." I said shyly.
"Wow! That's an awesome middle name, Bolt!" The orange pegasus next to me said.
"Hello! I'm Silver Spoon." The gray pony to my right stated.
"And I'm Sweetie Belle! Nice to meet you!" The unicorn in front of me squeaked.
The class continued to greet me.
"It's great to meet all of you!" I say, feeling not as shy as earlier.
Ms. Cheerilee clapped her hooves, but that did not get the class' attention. Instead, she yelled, "Alright, class! Sit down, and be quiet!"
At once the room became quiet as all of the little ponies looked at the teacher and obeyed her. I did, too.
Our teacher taught us english first, then math, and then finally history. We had recess next.
I walked outside, but I had no friends yet to go talk and play with. The white unicorn that sat in front of me, Sweetie Belle, walked up to me. Behind her was the orange pony Scootaloo, and a yellow earth pony with red hair and a pink bow.
"Do you want to be a part of our club?" The high-pitched unicorn asked me.
"What kind of club is it?" I asked.
"You know how you don't yet have your cutiemark?" Sweetie asked me.
"Yeah...?" I say back.
"Our club, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, helps ponies just like us get our cutiemarks!" Scootaloo said.
"Sure, I'll join!" I giggled.
"By the way, my name is Apple Bloom. What did you say your name was again?" The yellow pony asked me in a country voice.
"Fire Hoof. But if you'd like, my middle name is Bolt. It's a lot cooler, I think." I replied.
"It is an awesome name!" Scootaloo says.
Just then, Silver Spoon and a pink pony began to walk towards us.
"Those are bullies! Don't pay any attention to them, Bolt." Apple Bloom says, looking nervous.
"Is that another baby?" The pink earth pony next to Silver Spoon asked. She was looking straight at me.
Scootaloo walked in front of me saying, "No! Don't make fun of any of my friends!"
"Really? I think we already did!" Silver Spoon said, a smile growing on her face.
I feel like I am about to cry. My cheeks became pink. I didn't cry, though. It was hard, but I held it in.
The two bullies walked away, laughing with themselves.
"Like we said, don't pay them any attention. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are big meanies, but that won't stop us from having fun and being awesome!" Scootaloo said.
"I have a farm, and on it is our group clubhouse. It used to be my sister's, but then she gave it to me and my friends. After school, you should come with us! Then we can make you a real Cutie Mark Crusader!" Apple Bloom said, changing the subject.
"Sure thing! But, I do have flying practice, so it can't be very long." I reply, a smile on my face.
Ms. Cheerilee rang the bell on the schoolhouse; it was time to go back inside.
We ate lunch. I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with celery. Scootaloo brought a leftover hayburger from her dinner last night, and Sweetie Belle was eating a salad. Apple Bloom had some cinnamon apples from her lunchbox. We continued to talk.
"My sister says she used to eat cinnamon apples when she was little, too." Apple Bloom said, swallowing a slice of her treat.
"Who is your sister?" I asked her, curious.
"Her name is Applejack. She's a little bit older than me, well, not a little bit, but, we get along just fine for being so far apart in age!" She replied.
"I have a sister, too!" Sweetie Belle said, "Her name is Rarity. She makes dresses, and sometimes she goes a little too far in making sure they are perfect! Just don't tell her I said that!" She giggled.
"I don't have a sister at all, but I feel like Rainbow Dash is like a sister to me. She's so cool the way she makes super-ultra-awesome-amazing Sonic Rainbooms!" She said. "She flies through the sky like a bullet, and because of her mane she makes rainbows everywhere she goes!"
"I sometimes look like I have fire on the tips of my hooves when I fly fast," I say. "I like flying through clouds, too. They're really fun. Do you fly a lot, Scootaloo?" I asked her.
"Well... I can't exactly fly." She confesses quietly.
"Do you have a sister?" Sweetie Belle asked me, realizing that Scootaloo didn't want to talk about flying anymore.
"Her name is Vanilla Mocha. She has white fur and brown hair, and is trying to open her own coffee shop. Although I have wings, she has a horn. My dad is a pegasus, and my mom is a unicorn. My little brother is a pegasus like me, though." I say.
We continued to have lunch.
This is my first story! Please no rude comments. (I am a lot younger, and my sister helped me write this.) Vanilla Mocha helped me write it. 
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I loved editing this!
Can't wait to know what happens next, lil' sis!
5549157 Yes yessss
Interesting, can't wait to see where this goes.
The Ponyville branch of the CMC doesn't appear to be taking new members at all.
5549384 This is my story, so please respect my ideas. I respect your theory.
5549208 Thank you!
5549496 Not really a theory. There's plenty of blank flanks in town, and they're not talking to any of them.
5549498
Out of curiosity how old are you?
5549609I don't really want to say... but I don't get on here without my sister. She helped me type this story since she has more experience with the formatting and such. This totally isn't her sister typing...
A nice story. My first story was crap... Surprised it passed moderation. But this, was really good. Can't wait to read more!
5549647
i understand, was just curious
5549651 Thank you very much! That really means a lot to me.
5549654 OK!
5549655 Np.
5549658
feel free to PM me if you ever need anything
5549668 OK!
Hmm. I shall watch this and see where it goes.
Fire Hoof is adorable! I can't wait to see where this goes.
Making a complete guess here.. if your character is ten in the story... I'm guessing that you're about 12 or so in real life (I'm not a stalker will stop asking personal questions now) But this is really good for a first time story! Can't wait to see the next chapters!
5549384 Yes, I noticed that too. I mean, Button Mash and Pipsqueak don't have their marks, and Featherweight was markless before Ponyville Confidential. Maybe it's just a no-boys club..?
5552124
I wasn't really trying to rip on the dude/chick, so I don't understand the downvotes. I just hand out little fun facts like that.
This sounds like a really cool story! Can't wait to see where you're taking it!
I like the idea, you seem to have gotten everyone's personalities down. The way you have it written Apple Bloom is missing the distinct Apple accent. Also AB doesn't own the farm, she just lives on it.
5552753 I'm not the best at accents, so I am sorry about that. And I didn't mean for it to sound like she owned the farm, either...
This is good for a first story
I liked it, so I liked it!
5553125 You can always read other stories that have one or more of the Apple clan and see how they simulate the accent.
Not bad for your first story, you have piqued my interest. Keep up the good work.
This is friggin adorable so far! Liked and tracking! Also good job on the first person, it actually seems like the character is a little filly!
Can't wait to see what happens next!
When are you going to post another chapter here?
I really liked this story. It's very well made, and the first fic I read on this site. There were problems, though, and I feel I should point them out. Sorry if I come off as rude, but every mistake is fixable and it's better to have them brought up ASAP.
The biggest problem is that you keep shifting between past and present tense. It may not seem like much, but it's very jarring when a reader has to shift from imagining the story in the past to imagining a story in the present. That's the best way I can explain it, and I think you should stick to one or the other.
Another issue is redundant phrases. Sometimes, there are words that don't need to be there, like this.
You don't need the "I feel like", it reads fine as "but Rainbow Dash is like a sister to me." This isn't as important as consistent tense, but it is noticeable and fixing it will help the story flow better.
This is really small, and it only happens once, but here
It's obvious that Scootaloo is talking, but you still need to say her name. Since it only happens once, it was probably just a mistake.
Other than those, any other problems are just nitpicking. This is a very well written story, and I can't wait to see where it goes. I hope this will help you out, and happy writing!
5603931 OK thank you for the tips
5599508 I'm working on one right now!