"Well, they don't call me Fire Hoof for nothing!" I say, putting my front left hoof on my chest.
"But, why Fire Hoof- why not Fire Hooves?" Tristan asked, confused.
"I don't think Dinky is my sister." I reply, smiling. Tristan laughed, and I began to laugh with him.
Suddenly, our coach, Rainbow Dash, swooped down beside us. "Why aren't you two flyin'? This isn't talk time, it's fly-time! Now, get up there and show me whatcha' got!"
"I don't think Fire Hoof needs to do any more practice here- she's a lot better than you think she is." Tristan replied.
I looked over at the orange colt beside me. "You think that I'm that good?" I asked him.
"Yeah... you were on fire up there- literally!" He responds.
"Wait- what?!" Coach stops flapping her wings. "What do you mean, literally? So she was really on fire, huh?"
Instead of replying, I fly up into the air. I come flying back down to earth with great speeds. The wind slapped my face, and the only sounds I could hear was the air passing by my ears. My wings closed in on my sides- I couldn't keep them out any longer. My legs began burning- it hurt. Suddenly, I looked down, and I saw that my hooves were once again on fire. I would have gasped, but the wind was so strong in my face that I couldn't have said a single word, much less a noise. Looking up, I realized that I was near the ground. I tried to slow down, but I couldn't. I hit the ground with a thud, diving into the dirt below the grass that I had burrowed through when I crash-landed.
"O-o-ouch..." I mumble, sitting up. I look up to find Coach, Tristan, and a few other ponies looking right back down at me.
Clearing her throat, Coach Dash asked me, "Hey kid- you okay? That must've hurt... I remember my first big crash like that. But did you see that?! You were awesome up there! Your hooves caught on fire, you went super fast, and-"
Tristan cut her off. "I don't think she's ok, coach."
Rainbow stopped talking and looked at my right wing. "Kid, are you double-jointed in your wing?"
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"You're right wing... it's pushed back pretty far. Either you're double jointed in there or you're wing could be... broken."
Gasping, I stand up. I try flapping my wings, but only my left one does. "Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!" I panic as a tingling feeling travels through my broken wing. "It's really starting to hurt!" I feel like crying, but I try to hold it in. The pain was too much.
"She should go to the hospital," Tristan said, "It's for her own good. Maybe her wing isn't really broken."
Soon, an ambulance comes and takes me to the Ponyville Hospital. As I am lifted onto a stretcher, I am put into the back of the wagon. The doors begin to close, and I see the rest of the class starring back at me outside. Coach Dash tries to smile, but is unable to. Tristan's sad blue eyes pierce into me like nothing else did. At once sadness overflows me as they begin to drive off.
My older sister walks into the Hospital room.
"The doctors say that if your wing isn't really broken you could come home in a few hours," The white unicorn says, "But if it is, you might have to stay here overnight." She sits down beside me.
"I hope the tests come back in soon. The X-rays were tons of fun, though." I reply.
Nurse Redheart, as if on cue, came trotting in. "Your results are back."
I sit up in the hospital bed. "Really?" A smile grows wide on my face.
"Your wing isn't broken- it's just sprained."
"Yay It's not broken- wait, what?" I ask.
"Sprained, Hoofsie. It means that you just stretched out your wing too much and you got hurt from it." My sister tells me.
"So, I can go home?" I ask the nurse.
She nods. "Yes, but you must wear your cast on it. It is swelling, but you'll be ok if you don't fly."
"Will I ever be able to fly ever again?" I ask.
"Of course, darling. Just let it heal, and then either come back here or go to your doctor. We'll tell you if it is better enough to fly or not."
Love this story!
5809997 thanks
Interesting.. will this effect the story any?
I like the idea of an ambulance wagon, that seems like the sort of thing you would see in Ponyville.
Thanks for answering!
5810641 I don't really know if it will or not- I'm writing this one as I go!
5811050 Thanks!
5812892 You're welcome!
Sorry I'm late with this critique. Alright, you're just as good about your grammar as always, except here
I think a word went missing. Time for some brutal honesty, this was underwhelming. My first reaction after reading was, "What did this have to do with anything?" Thinking about it, I can see many directions to take now that that she can't fly, but even with that this chapter felt like filler. I understand that it had been a while (at least, it felt like a while) between this chapter and the last, and you probably wanted to give your readers something. However, I'd rather have had a chapter that came back to the motif of "becoming a cutie mark crusader" or something exploring the romance aspect than something that could have easily been placed at the end of the last chapter or the beginning of the next one. People who want to read your story won't mind waiting a little longer. As always, I look forward to the next chapter.
5668865 What story is that from?
That doesn't sound right......
Also it seemed that Tristan was taking care of the situation instead of Rainbow Dash who was the adult pony there, but except for that, it was okay.
6038343 Thank you- I meant to put the word "I don't THINK Fire Hoof..."