Meeting... Him!
School was finally over, and I started out of the school building. I heard Scootaloo's voice behind me. "Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom- don't forget we have a Cutie Mark Crusader meeting in a few minutes at the clubhouse!"
Sweetie Belle approached me saying, "Follow us! We will take you to the clubhouse."
"Alright!" I replied, standing taller on my hooves, becoming dignified.
I followed the three ponies to Apple Bloom's farm she told me about, and then into the clubhouse. Even as I was walking in, I felt right at home.
"Take a seat!" Apple Bloom said, motioning me to sit down in a wooden stool.
I did as I was told, and after a few seconds of silence, Apple Bloom began speaking.
"I would like to nominate you, Fire Hoof, as an official member of the Cutie Mark Crusaders! From this day forth, we will all go and explore the wilderness together, hoping to find out our inner talents and special abilities. While we were once three, then four, and now five, we will continue to establish our foundation through the help of the children of Equestria in light of-"
"Who's the fourth? There seems to only be three of you." I asked, not meaning to interrupt.
After a long stare of irritation from Apple Bloom, she finally replied to me saying, "My cousin, Babs Seed, became a member last year. You are the fifth."
"Oooooooh!" I said, rolling my eyes slowly.
Apple Bloom cleared her throat, preparing to speak again when Sweetie Belle said, "I think we should give her the cape now- no more speeches."
Apple Bloom sighed in return. Scootaloo came up to me, and had given me a red cape with a blue shield on both sides, with a yellow pony in the middle of the shield. I gasped from excitement as I stood up and put it on.
"Thank you very much! Wow, now I really am a real part of your group!" I exclaimed. I looked up at a clock hanging in the clubhouse. I gasped again, but this time from worry. "Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!" I panicked.
"What's wrong?" Scootaloo asked me.
"I'm gonna be late for my new flying practice!" I said.
"It's already starting now?" Sweetie questioned.
"Yes! And today is my first day... I cannot be late!" I replied.
"We'll see you tomorrow at school! Good luck!" The crusaders said.
"Bye! See you tomorrow!" I called back, rushing out the door, slamming it shut.
I ran frantically to the park, where I saw many other fillies and colts standing in a perfect line. A blue mare with a multi-colored mane wearing a ball cap stood in front of them, pacing back and forth as she talked. Assuming she was the coach, I hurried up and got in line next to an orange pegasus colt.
"Hi." The colt whispered.
"Hi... who are you?" I asked.
"I'm Tristan. Who are you?" The colt replied.
"Fire Hoof. But I prefer my middle name, Bolt." I smiled. I turned to look at his face; I hadn't gotten to actually see what he looked like yet. He had bright blue eyes, and a short and messy, but extremely cute blonde mane. His cheeks were covered in light freckles.
"Alright, fillies and colts, let's get busy!" The mare said before blowing her loud whistle. "Everypony needs a buddy, so find somepony and get out there and warm up!"
I chose Tristan, and to my surprise, he wanted me to be his buddy too.
We did wing-ups first. I took off my cape and sat it on the ground so it wouldn't get messed up. I counted 12 wing-ups for me, but Tristan only did 10 before he got tired. I was better than a boy! I laughed at this thought inside.
"Now, get up there with your buddy and show me what you can do!" The coach shouted, flying into the sky.
"Hey, Tristan! Wanna race?" I asked him.
"Where to?" He asked me.
"To that cloud and back." I said, pointing my hoof out to a big, fluffy white cloud in the distance.
"Alright!" Tristan shouted enthusiastically, flapping his wings faster as we hovered in the same spot above where we did our wing-ups.
"Ready..." I said.
"Set..." Tristan continued.
"Go!" We shouted at the same time. At once we took off, leaving nothing but dust behind us. We were neck and neck. We spun around the cloud, and as we made our way back to the finish line, I accelerated my speed and won by six feet.
"What?!" Tristan shouted, not even bothering to finish the race.
"I'm fast..." I said quietly.
"No, not that." Tristan said, shaking his head as if he had seen a ghost and was trying to erase it from his memory.
"Well then, what?" I wanted to know.
"Y-your hooves- they caught on fire." He said, his big eyes starring at me. His big, dreamy eyes.
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Woah! Twist at the end!
Dash is gonna like her already! And even a cute colt, too! 
Okay, that sounds weird me saying it..
Good job! Every mistake in the first chapter is now fixed, for the most part. I did notice one redundant phrase and the phrasing seemed a bit off at times. However, I didn't notice it until the second time reading it. The flow is very good, and I must say this is the best example I've seen of a "love at first sight" type of romance. I usually hate this style of romance because there's no buildup. Here, though, it's obvious they like each other, but it isn't the usual "suddenly they're deeply in love" thing. It's very interesting so far, and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
5633470 ok thanks
Boring. Tristan is not a pony name. Who is he in real life. Are you two dating? Anyway,pwease read my awewsome stowy? i was the bwest witer in my owld scwool
>>HaloEssense111
Did I write that?
Hmmm. Seems nice, alight, wouldn't the name Fire Hooves make more sense?
5668865 not trying to be rude about this, but, don't you think you were a little bit, uh... Rude? Not trying to offend you or anything, but, you made it sound like her story was garbage and that your story should be displayed in a museum for rich people... Sorry, its just that i'm her editor and when looking through the comments I saw yours and couldn't resist replying to it...
5668865 While I agree that the name Tristan does seem a bit out of place in the MLP universe, the way you voiced your comment was completely uncalled for. If you think that this story is boring, then fine! That's great! You are entitled to your own opinions. And if you wanted the author to know how you felt about this chapter, then how about wording it a little more gracefully? Or PMing her about it? And for Celestia's sake, don't go promoting your story right after bashing somebody else's! That is tactless and downright rude, especially when you just called this author's story boring. And why on earth are you asking if Tristan is in real life and if he and FH are dating? I'm sorry, but that is Fire Hoof's business, not yours.
In short, if you can't voice a constructive and graceful opinion, then just keep your opinion to yourself.
5729776 I couldn't have worded that better myself! Thanks for taking up for my little sister (FH).
Good chapter but...Shouldn't Fire Hoof have called Tristan (nice name) a colt and not a boy?