I stared at her blankly, forgetting for a fleeting moment that I was being grilled, my curiosity piqued. “There are articles about Gentleman for Mares in the newspaper?”
Looks like someone hasn't been following Five Star Service - A Gentleman for Mares Tale...
“Hold it!” Daisy shouted, her forehoof outstretched at me as I stood frozen with my hoof extended halfway to the doorknob — her face a mask of determination. The only thing hurting her case as prosecutor was the spatula in her hand, and that silly apron.
I can't help but feel Rose is setting herself up for failure. She doesn't want to commit to a single partner, but she wants them to commit to her, something that she knows Stunt Man can't do. It's unreasonable, it's hypocritical, and it's going to bite her right in the ass. If she wants to have him commit to her then she's going to have to commit to him first, and then work things out between the two of them. I get the feeling that she wants to, and that's an excellent first step, but that doesn't mean she can ignore the follow-through and expect everything to turn out hunky-dory.
I also find her anti-herd mentality to be extremely annoying, like one of those people who can't stop bitching about how horrible marriage is. Other people have a right to do what makes them happy dammit. If they're willing to put up with your philandering, then you have absolutely no right to snub your nose at them.
5876106 Rose isn't a perfect pony, and her attitude is certainly anti-herd. Five Stars from Five Star Service is particularly down on it as well. I can't give everything away and this is still a work in progress, but I think you'll be pleasantly surprised in the end.
Now, according to Five Stars, herds are only there because of the out of whack ratio of mares to stallions. So single human men coming in and altering that to a more normal level is just common sense. And the Gentlemen all do have to retire from the profession at some point; and we've already seen that a few have done so after only a few years.
5876704 Point well taken. My response to the last commenter shouldn't be taken as a condemnation of Rose, but an acknowledgement that she isn't going to remain the exact same character throughout the story. She will experience things and change. She's free to court anyone she likes, or not marry at all.
I like Rose; no pony or person is perfect. But she has a good heart. But I have to wonder what Rainbow Dash would think of Stuntman. He's a daredevil, which might cause her to actually have a side in the over arching world story.
My only issue with the RD idea, is not establishing a connection between RD and Stuntman, though Stuntman is certainly a huge fan of RD. It would be pretty cool to see him and RD have a hand, and hoof, in cooling tensions caused by the Wingman/Sea Swirl Fiasco.
As a Canadian myself, I approve of the play on words for my country.
I'm also glad to hear there's still lots more to come in the future for this story. It would be interesting to see Lily and Daisy end up having a nice family style dinner with Stuntman and Rose; a new couple and friends, all sitting down and getting to learn about each other. It might also help with how Gentleman are precised by the pony populous.
i really liked this chapter. the conflict was good and it was very entertaining to read! the story is getting quite juicy.
Also if you do plan on making this story more than mere clop you cant just add a clop scene whenever you can. they will feel forced and take the reader out of the story. you don't have to write clop every chapter to keep the reader with your story, you've already proven you're capable of writing a good chapter that is just as entertaining to read as clop. look at the original gentleman for mares that one didn't have clop every single chapter and it built up to the clop scene before it happened.
Looks like someone hasn't been following Five Star Service - A Gentleman for Mares Tale...
img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140719165342/aceattorney/images/5/59/Hold_it.png
Sorry Rose, I don't even think Phoenix Wright could help you here!
I can't help but feel Rose is setting herself up for failure. She doesn't want to commit to a single partner, but she wants them to commit to her, something that she knows Stunt Man can't do. It's unreasonable, it's hypocritical, and it's going to bite her right in the ass. If she wants to have him commit to her then she's going to have to commit to him first, and then work things out between the two of them. I get the feeling that she wants to, and that's an excellent first step, but that doesn't mean she can ignore the follow-through and expect everything to turn out hunky-dory.
I also find her anti-herd mentality to be extremely annoying, like one of those people who can't stop bitching about how horrible marriage is. Other people have a right to do what makes them happy dammit. If they're willing to put up with your philandering, then you have absolutely no right to snub your nose at them.
5876106 Rose isn't a perfect pony, and her attitude is certainly anti-herd. Five Stars from Five Star Service is particularly down on it as well. I can't give everything away and this is still a work in progress, but I think you'll be pleasantly surprised in the end.
5876385
Another great chapter. Thank you
Now, according to Five Stars, herds are only there because of the out of whack ratio of mares to stallions. So single human men coming in and altering that to a more normal level is just common sense. And the Gentlemen all do have to retire from the profession at some point; and we've already seen that a few have done so after only a few years.
5876704 Point well taken. My response to the last commenter shouldn't be taken as a condemnation of Rose, but an acknowledgement that she isn't going to remain the exact same character throughout the story. She will experience things and change. She's free to court anyone she likes, or not marry at all.
5876799
I like Rose; no pony or person is perfect. But she has a good heart. But I have to wonder what Rainbow Dash would think of Stuntman. He's a daredevil, which might cause her to actually have a side in the over arching world story.
My only issue with the RD idea, is not establishing a connection between RD and Stuntman, though Stuntman is certainly a huge fan of RD. It would be pretty cool to see him and RD have a hand, and hoof, in cooling tensions caused by the Wingman/Sea Swirl Fiasco.
We'll see.
5890304
Fixed, and thank you.
I'll re-word it.
Edit: I just tore the whole sentence out. It was redundant anyway.
As a Canadian myself, I approve of the play on words for my country.
I'm also glad to hear there's still lots more to come in the future for this story. It would be interesting to see Lily and Daisy end up having a nice family style dinner with Stuntman and Rose; a new couple and friends, all sitting down and getting to learn about each other. It might also help with how Gentleman are precised by the pony populous.
i really liked this chapter. the conflict was good and it was very entertaining to read! the story is getting quite juicy.
Also if you do plan on making this story more than mere clop you cant just add a clop scene whenever you can. they will feel forced and take the reader out of the story. you don't have to write clop every chapter to keep the reader with your story, you've already proven you're capable of writing a good chapter that is just as entertaining to read as clop. look at the original gentleman for mares that one didn't have clop every single chapter and it built up to the clop scene before it happened.
Anyways love the story so far, keep it up!
Daisy grew a hand?!
Good to know that Rose's friends will be there to help her think realistically in this situation. Can't wait for them to meet Richard
6631712 Sunuva...
Fixed.
Why she said that in 3rd person? A habit of hers?
8518967
8637009
Shinji's take is the correct one.