5824809 My editor and I agreed that it made sense to cut it there given what I have planned for chapter 6. I trust the next chapter will be meatier. Glad you enjoyed it though.
Edit: It's not ending soon. Lots of action left! I repeat: it's not over!
wow this was a good chapter~! when reading the previous ones i was unsure if i would really like this story but this chapter pushed me over to liking it.
Stuntman looked serious for a moment. “Seems you’re after more than my rank and serial number huh?”
“Your what!?” I snapped at him, perhaps a bit too loudly. I reminded myself he was probably just being silly again. Clearing my throat, I spoke again more gently. “What I meant to say is, whatever do you mean?”
Dude, really?! That's one of the best parts of these world building 'cultural differences' stories! Learning about the differences alongside the characters! Then you go and set up the perfect opening and then never explain it! It's even more annoying than all the words you leave out, pronouns are important you know.
6029124 Yeah, that much in-depth does kind of bog it down... disrupts the mood... sounds vaguely misanthropic... doesn't answer our burning curiosity about what weird pony thing Rose thought he was saying at first. Did they used to give stallions serial numbers and buy and trade then like cars or tractors? What pony culture are we missing?!! GAAAHHHHH!
“Well not me personally or my parent nation," how sweet of you to actually think that. It would be nice of course but your patent nation sadly is far from a stranger to torture. Saddest, and ironic part is that torture doesn't actually work. Other than make the torturer's willy hard, that is.
“I just want to ask you a few questions before you fly off into sky to give another mare the night of her life.” The is missing. “Yes!” I stomped my hoof down onto the bed, proking a stunned reaction from Provoking maybe?
Another great chapter. Too bad it has to end soon.
5824809 My editor and I agreed that it made sense to cut it there given what I have planned for chapter 6. I trust the next chapter will be meatier. Glad you enjoyed it though.
Edit: It's not ending soon. Lots of action left! I repeat: it's not over!
This story is just so awesome! keep up the great work!
5826057 good to hear !
wow this was a good chapter~! when reading the previous ones i was unsure if i would really like this story but this chapter pushed me over to liking it.
Dude, really?! That's one of the best parts of these world building 'cultural differences' stories! Learning about the differences alongside the characters! Then you go and set up the perfect opening and then never explain it! It's even more annoying than all the words you leave out, pronouns are important you know.
6026326 You got your wish. Chapter five modified.
6029124 Yeah, that much in-depth does kind of bog it down... disrupts the mood... sounds vaguely misanthropic... doesn't answer our burning curiosity about what weird pony thing Rose thought he was saying at first. Did they used to give stallions serial numbers and buy and trade then like cars or tractors? What pony culture are we missing?!! GAAAHHHHH!
I'm sure there are gonna be no problems whatsoever with this arrangement
“Well not me personally or my parent nation," how sweet of you to actually think that. It would be nice of course but your patent nation sadly is far from a stranger to torture. Saddest, and ironic part is that torture doesn't actually work. Other than make the torturer's willy hard, that is.
it seams as if rose has a colt friend now.
“I just want to ask you a few questions before you fly off into sky to give another mare the night of her life.”
The is missing.
“Yes!” I stomped my hoof down onto the bed, proking a stunned reaction from
Provoking maybe?
8306392
You are correct. Fixed.
6778481
It's just human nature