> A Gentleman's Price - A Gentleman for Mares Side Story
>  by AJ Aficionado
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> The Hunted
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


“A Gentleman’s Price”



by AJ Aficionado






It had taken me forever to make them go away. 

Getting Lily Valley out of the house for a night is a miraculous feat in and of itself, but getting both her and Daisy out of my mane took weeks of plotting. I arranged to have Lily Valley, my adorashy roommate, make the weekly flower delivery in my stead. Since deliveries are typically made after business hours this inevitably leads to an overnight stay in Canterlot, which just happened to coincide with my boss, Daisy, spending the night with her marefriend, Dizzy Twister. I suspected Daisy might have been on to me — she knows better than anypony how I get during heat — but her silence was appreciated all the same. 

Then again, if she knew the whole story, she wouldn’t have been so obliging. I could easily imagine what Daisy, my conservative-minded friend and lead-mare of our happy little bunch, would say: “Roseluck, you are the only mare I know who can have any stallion she wants but would waste money on a human comfort horse!”

She wouldn’t understand it: The need to be broken and tamed. It isn’t something I can ask of any of the humans who frequent my shop — they’re so silly when it comes to expressing themselves sexually — and certainly not the occasional griffin who likes their prey a bit more lively…

She wasn’t wrong of course, my cutie mark of a red rose has always been a sign of my true talent: romancing stallions.

Even as I lit the candles in the living room and scattered the rose petals across the floor, I imagined the alien’s presence lurking in the shadows. A shiver ran through me at the thought of him; the hunter I’d so foolishly tempted. 

I wished I could stop sweating! I’d already taken two showers that day and I still felt like I’d been for a swim in Saddle Lake. I made my way towards the bathroom for what I hoped would be my last. But did I even have the time? He could be here at any moment! 

Heat and pressure building in my loins, I glimpsed the floral patterned cushion on the recliner in my living room. Maybe I should clop to take the edge off? I'd thought to myself at the time. The heat was unbearable, and saving myself for this human was only making things worse! Unable to restrain myself, I gave my slit another swipe with my hoof, a gasp escaping my lips. 

No! I can’t. Where is this Gentleman anyway? 

After a quick shower, I looked into the mirror as I was toweling off. Would he find me suitable prey? My pink and red mane and tail were not too dissimilar from a human mare’s mane — a woman’s mane rather — and my pale yellow coat is very similar to a fair-skinned humans complexion, at least to my eyes. Still, I was painfully conscious of how foreign I must look to humans, especially with larger and dumber versions of ourselves living on their world. 

I cast all suspicions from my mind. There were plenty of men who were into mares, and the kind woman at Gentleman For Mares told me mares are their specialty. Well duh, it's in the name! I’m just being silly now; I reassured myself.

Towel in hoof, I decided to wait in the living room until he showed up. I set the towel down onto the recliner and sat on it upright. Lyra wasn’t kidding, it is a comfortable way to sit! As the minutes dragged by, the burning in my nethers became too great. I leaned back and gave myself over to the need, gently parting my slit with my hoof and rubbing vigorously at the sensitive nub. I tried to imagine how my stalker might react as he watched me ravage myself. Would he look on with desire at the effect he was having on his helpless victim, or would he be upset that she was stealing his prize by doing the deed herself? My hoof was slick with my own juices, moans coming out louder and louder with each swipe. I felt myself nearing climax when I heard a knock at the door.

I felt my heart stop. “Who... who is it?” I gasped, knowing full well that my time had come.

“It's Stuntman, may I come inside?” The voice from the other side of the door called back, asking for entry as had been arranged.

The realization hit me like a brick: there was a man behind that door, a predator, and If I admitted him he was going to have his way with me. A wave of paralyzing fear hit me and I whimpered softly. This is crazy! Why did I ask for this!?

I brought myself under control and, mustering all my courage and desire, answered back as calmly as I could manage, which wasn’t very. “C-come in!” I couldn’t quite keep the tremor from my voice.

The door opened revealing a handsome, towering figure illuminated by candlelight stepped inside d from the darkness. He was dressed in a black human hunting outfit; the only thing not black were his leg coverings which were white. He had fair skin and a light blonde mane; I nearly came on the spot when I saw the whip in his hand. “You! You monster!” I shouted, my fear almost instantly giving way to ecstasy. He was here, and this was really going to happen! My hoof continued to work on my aching marehood as he began to strip out of his jacket and then his shirt baring his muscular chest and abdomen. 

He smiled, revealing his small but straight teeth. “Cornered at last my clever little pony! You won't be escaping fate by your own hoof I'm afraid...” He took my lust-soaked hoof in his hand and licked it clean.

A loud moan escaped my lips and for a moment I forgot about how scared I was. The pleasure was almost unreal, and he hadn’t even gotten started yet!

He got directly in my face, his tiny gray eyes taking me in. He grinned, letting me see his pointy incisors up close, sending another shiver of mingled fear and desire through me

I flinched but glared at him defiantly. I wasn’t about to give him the pleasure of seeing me terrified, even if I was. Judging by the approving look he gave me, he was very impressed. He tilted my head back and gave my neck a long wet lick before blowing gently on it. I nearly jolted out of my seat! He gave a small chuckle and began kissing up the length of my neck and muzzle before parting my lips with a swipe of his diminutive tongue, and took me into his mouth in a passionate yet sloppy kiss.

“You are a brave little pony, Roseluck. I've looked forward to this day ever since I discovered you. I will give you the opportunity to flee and I will catch you again, and again, and again until you can go on no longer! I will watch you stagger through these woods until you fall. Then and only then will I grant you release!” he taunted.

“Murderer!” I gasped, as he lifted me up out of my seat to a standing position. The hunger in eyes was simultaneously the most arousing and most terrifying thing I had ever experienced. The grip of his powerful arms was oppressive, and yet filled me with a strange sense of... control? Yes! He was surely mine even as he sought to break me to his will, to make me his prey...

His pressed open my lips with his tongue at an angle to bypass my teeth, his hands caressing my rump and teasing my belly with a long, flexible finger. He could make the kill right now, open me up and feast on me, but he couldn’t help himself. His need was to keep me alive, and mine to keep his need intact. I drove my tongue deeper into his mouth, swiping his incisors with my tongue and earning a moan from my aspiring master. I allowed myself a moment of pride before remembering that I was only making his ultimate victory sweeter. He responded by teasing my marehood with his fingers, winning him a moan from me in return. My nethers blazed with unbearable heat; surely he would be overcome soon and release me from this agony!

Instead, he picked me up effortlessly and placed me on the floor facing the hallway I knew led up upstairs. “Run, little pony!” he ordered from behind me, I heard and felt the crack of a whip mere inches from my backside. I whinnied as loud as I could, and in a haze of lust and panic, ran upstairs and into my bedroom.

Upon entering my first instinct was to hide, so I dove into the closet and searched in the darkness for a blanket or something to cover me up — I’d put some in there for just that purpose. And yet, when I groped in the dark, my hooves grabbed at a couple of old boxes, but nothing else. I found that rather strange, whose closet is this anyway? My nose, as if in response, finally detected the scent of fresh lilies. Oh horseapples!

Before I could fully comprehend my new predicament, and that of my roommate, the closet door opened and the warm flickering light of a kerosene lamp cast the sight of my hunter in shadow. A pair of arms grabbed me around my middle and picked me up… “Lily’s gonna kill me!” I murmured, finally realizing I was in her bedroom, not my own. He didn’t seem to react to my words, except to lightly grasp my tail and lift it up, exposing myself to him. 

“Such a feral creature you are, my little pony! You clearly need to be broken!” I felt him drape the harness I’d requested over me and began to strap me in. I felt hot and faint as he did so, my greatest fantasy finally brought to life as my tail was immobilized by the strap which connected it to my head. I took the bit in my mouth noiselessly. I felt sorry for poor Lily and the state she was going to find her bed in after, but I was desperate with need and ready to be broken. Now! 

“God, you’re beautiful.” The hunter’s voice had lost its hardened edge and he spoke with a gentle almost loving caress. 

Oh Celestia, he is mine! I moaned loudly, my aching marehood dripping with need.

To my mingled shock and ecstasy, I felt his tongue lick at my dock. No stallion would ever dare! My legs trembled from a combination of fear and desperate need. After bringing me close and backing me off, I felt the shaft of his stallionhood glide along my entrance, he was going to use my own cum to break me in just as I’d requested.

“I could finish you now, but we're only getting started...” He placed the rounded tip of his member into my tail hole, his massive girth making itself readily apparent as he slowly began to push deeper inside…

I grunted and bit down for all its worth, eyes watering. Despite his careful pace, I felt intense pressure and no small amount of pain as I felt my body stretch to accommodate his thickness. As he continued to plunge himself into me, however, the pain began to subdue and was replaced by sheer exhilaration; my pathetic whimpering soon replaced with blissful moaning. Even as he held my flanks, his fingers gently massaged the hair of my cutie mark. I had met his approval. 

It was the most wonderful experience I’d ever had!

Still, it wasn’t enough; I needed more of him inside of me! As he would thrust into me, I started thrusting back, meeting him halfway. Taking the hint he tightened his grip on me, and quickened his pace, carrying us both over the threshold into orgasm. The tall, handsome predator roared as he came inside of me, even as I squealed into my bit.

I heard him panting behind me, smelled the light musk of his sweaty body. I imagined what it felt like for him to be standing over his wounded prey, knowing it was only a matter of time before his helpless quarry gave into him fully...

He nipped at my ears to let me know he was in control before turning me around to face him. “You're making good progress, but in your eyes you still resist me.”

I snorted at him and gave him a defiant nicker. You’ll have to do better than that, monster!

“Shall we try it again little pony?” he said mischievously.

Unable to speak through the bit, I nodded twice, a little frantically.

“Good girl.” He nibbled at my ears again before letting me turn back around.

He must have really been impressed with my flanks and rump because he continued to run his hands over them, prodding me at times gently with his wonderful fingers. Lyra had not been wrong about those; human hands truly are ‘a-ma-zing!’

He wasted little time before he began plowing into me again with reckless abandon, his slow, disciplined technique all but forgotten, as each thrust drove him to the hilt of all my already loosened tail. I locked my knees into place determined to make him feel each repetition, even as I squealed louder and louder. I marveled at his stamina, and his power. He knew exactly what he was doing, as when either of us got close, he would slow down before hilting himself until the danger had passed. Finally, when my legs began to shake as soreness crept back into my consciousness, he lifted my back legs off of the bed and plowed me with everything he had until we both had climaxed again. I collapsed to the bed, my barrel heaving with exhaustion as he fell next to me, equally drained.

He clumsily worked to remove the bridle from me, a smile gracing his handsome face. "You are the finest prey I've ever hunted Roseluck, you have earned for yourself a place among the stars! I will give you the release you desire."

“Not if you can't catch me, demon!" I stood on four wobbly legs and willed myself not to faceplant off the bed and into the floor. I gave him a playful wink, and leaped from the bed onto the floor, making my way to what I hoped would be the correct room…


*****


The second time was a charm in this case. I closed the door behind me and threw myself onto my bed. For a brief moment of craziness, I wondered if he really was going to eat me. I laid on my back, and grabbed my tail hugging it like it was my only friend in the world…

My door opened and there he was again, fully erect and ready to go in for the kill. 

A-are you going to eat me now? Are you going to open me up and devour me piece by piece?” I continued to clutch my tail.

He climbed into bed with me and began to run his fingers through my mane. “If I did that Roseluck, then the hunt would end.”

I released my grip on my tail and looked at him curiously wondering what he meant.

“I will, however, give you the release I promised earlier.” He took my right forehoof in his hand and kissed it.

So help me, Celestia, I will lay claim to this man’s soul forever!

He invited me to climb on top of him. I didn’t have to say a word: the look in my eyes declared my intention to make him mine. I lowered myself slowly onto his rigid member, devouring his length one inch at a time. Oh, I wanted it right then in the midst of my estrus, but I wanted him to remember my face among all the other mares he’d slept with. Having given him a taste of the fire, I gave myself to him totally, thrusting myself again and again onto him, his grunts telling me I was leaving a lasting impression. Holding my hoof in his hand he drew me into a wild, passionate kiss as he came inside of me, temporarily extinguishing my agonizing heat. We lay side by side holding that kiss for what seemed an eternity, his hands caressing my neck and mane, as my forehooves ran themselves over his muscular physique.

When the kiss finally broke, he treated me to what must have been every position he’d ever learned. Satisfied and sore after hours of non-stop rutting, I drifted off to sleep repeating my vow internally to make him mine one day.


*****


I woke up just a few hours later. Like clockwork, every morning I wake up to go tend to the roses in my greenhouse out back, even on off-days like this morning. The kind mare on the other end of the line at Gentleman For Mares had told me I’d have him for the night and it was hours from daylight. As nice as it would be to lay there in his arms, enjoying his warmth and company; I felt I should treat him right, and make him breakfast before he left.

I nuzzled his face gently, and gave his neck a lick; he looked up at me eagerly, “We’ve still got some time. Want another round, Rose?”

I considered it, only to shake my head. My heat was sated, and I did have work to do. “A tempting thought Stuntman, but it'll be light soon. I'm usually up around this time anyway to get my flowers prepared, so I was thinking I could make you breakfast?” I suggested hopefully.

“That sounds great, Rose. I appreciate it!” He ran a hand through my mane and gave me a kiss as thanks.

We untangled ourselves from each other and he carried the lamp while we made our way past Lily’s room. In my giddiness from the night’s frivolities, I couldn’t help but laugh. 

“What’s so funny?” the Gentleman asked.

“That's my friend Lily's room you chased me into last night. She's going to freak out when she sees what we did to it! The smell will be in there forever!” I rubbed my forehooves together. I don’t know why I’m so evil to the poor mare sometimes. She’s a really sweet gal, but she’s just so cute when she’s mad!

Stuntman gave me a strange look somewhere between horrified and impressed. He grinned back at me.

Being considerably more polite than your average predator, the Gentleman insisted on helping to clean up the house. I told him he didn’t have to — for all the good that did me — but he insisted on it anyway saying he feared for my safety when my friend came home. If only all stallions would be so noble! I offered him a shower, but he told me he would get one first thing after he left, so I helped myself to it. 

After cooking the oatmeal and setting the table, Stuntman joined me for breakfast. He’d been mopping and sweeping up after me, and I felt a wave of overpowering shame blanket me. I must really look like a mental case, asking this nice man with his amazing flanks and beautiful chest to come and chase me around my own house…

I couldn’t take it anymore. The awkwardness beginning to overwhelm me, I had to know. "Stuntman... can I ask you something?” 

“You already have, but you may ask me another question,” he replied, a cocky grin on his face.

Ugh! I hate when ponies say that! I let him know by punching him in the arm.

“Ow! Geez, sorry what was your question?” He winced in pain.

I felt bad for him but was feeling worse for myself at the moment. “Do you think I'm crazy?” my breath caught as I awaited his answer.

“That's a fine question to ask after punching someone!” He rubbed his arm for emphasis.

“I'm serious, Stuntman!” I couldn’t look at him anymore. I burned with guilt that I made him a party to my unnatural desires. 

He gave me a wan grin. "We're all a bit crazy, I suppose, but you mean well. You do seem to have a real daredevil streak about you that's been held down for too long. Oh, and a pretty mean jab too.” He rubbed his arm ruefully again.

I must have hit him pretty hard. Nice going Roseluck, really smooth! “Some daredevil I am! I paid for you to come here and scare me half to death.” 

“Actually, I really admire what you did last night Rose,” he replied softly.

I couldn’t believe it. Was this man a trained liar as well? How could anything I did last night reflect well on me? I snorted my disbelief into the hooves covering my face.

“No I'm serious! You did what a lot of folks go their whole lives avoiding — you stood up to yourself. I saw it in your eyes, Rose, saw how you were terrified but determined to see it through. Fear is a nemesis to be conquered, and you did it.” He ran his wonderful fingers through my mane again, and I felt myself begin to warm.

I uncovered my face and looked at him once more; he was smiling and there was genuine warmth in his eyes and sincerity in his voice. He really didn’t see me as some kind of freak! 

Relief broke over me like a brand-new day. “You make getting rutted under the tail in your friend’s room sound so heroic,” I said sardonically.

We both shared a good laugh and finished up breakfast. By daybreak, the house was almost good as new, besides the smell in Lily’s room. I’d be making it up to her one way or another, probably end up pulling double-shifts at the flower stand. Totally worth it!

Stuntman gave me his card. It had his name and  I.D. number on it. “If you want another good chase, just ask for Stuntman.”

“I think I’d like that. I guess this is goodbye for now. Maybe next time we could have a bite to eat before you...eat me.” This game has only just begun, handsome! I thought to myself.

He took my hoof in his hand and kissed it. “As you wish, my worthy prey.”

I briefly considered having him once more on the couch but thought better about it. No use angering Daisy too. “Goodbye, monster!” 

“Farewell, little pony!” Dressed in his hunter’s uniform and donning his helmet, he walked out into the early morning.

Away to his next mare...

I sighed. Next time, monster. Next time...
> The Great Disaster™
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Peering through the curtains, I watched my wild hunter take off in a pegasi-drawn chariot accompanied by a bespectacled white unicorn I guessed was his handler. The agreement was for one night, and he left promptly with the sunrise. It would be different next time, I promised myself — he would not be getting some nameless mare, but a real date. I yawned deeply and felt my eyelids start to flutter as the long night began to catch up with me: I should really double-check to make sure that the house is clean, but I’m so tired...

I lay back in my recliner after removing the towel and closed my eyes, savoring the memory of the previous night. I never felt so beautiful in all of my life. I saw myself being chased through the Everfree, caught, and rutted again and again and again. After each session, those long fingers running through my mane, him telling me I was worthy prey...

“EEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeee!” A familiar shriek cut through the house.

I jolted awake. Lily! I’d only closed my eyes for a second but a glance at the wall clock told me it’d been over an hour. So much for washing her blankets and sheets! I ran upstairs into her bedroom to see her reared on her hind legs, her forehooves pressed against her temples.

“What did you do to my room, Rose!?” Her voice was a mixture of anger and desperation. 

I really should have cleaned this up before she came home! The room positively reeked of sex; the neatly made bed was now a tangled mess of stained and sweaty blankets. To my left, the door to Lily’s closet was wide open with burst open boxes from my ill-conceived attempt at camouflage. “I-it’s hard to explain Lily. It was dark and I had a friend over and…”

“You — you have a perfectly good bed in your room!” Lily stammered. “This is a disaster! What in the name of Cerberus’s six eyes were you doing on my bed!? 

I weighed my options quickly. On the one hand, Lily looked to be about ready to knock me senseless, and admitting what happened might prevent that. On the other hand, she would know what I did. Oh Celestia, the horror! I settled on the partial truth. “It was a coltfriend of mine, it was dark you see. I came into your room completely by accident. Really, I swear! Pleeease don’t kill me, Lily!” I lowered my ears and prostrated myself before her.

Her anger transformed into a look of disgust which then gave way to panic; she ripped the blankets and sheets off of her bed in one single tug before launching out of the room and down the stairs.

“Lily what are you doing? I’m going to wash those!” I called after her but she had already left out the back door. Had I completely broken her sanity? By the time I’d figured out she’d gone out behind the house, she had stacked up wood in the campfire pit out back, stuck the blankets underneath and set it on fire.

“Lily, don’t you think you might be overreacting? That does wash out you know!” I watched as the blankets were slowly consumed by the flames.

Lily looked at me seriously and shook her head, “No, Rose, fire is the only answer! Only the cleansing flames of Perdition could rid the world of this taint...”

By Cadance, that mare needs to get laid! “Lily, I know you’re sensitive about this sort of thing, but I’m sorry; I just don’t see how setting your things on fire is going to help anypony!”

“Of course you don’t, Rose! It’s only the place where your friend has to sleep every night!” She stomped back up to the house. “If you need me, I’ll be trying to get the smell of Tartarus out of my room!” She slammed the back door closed. 

I hung my head in shame, knowing full well I'd messed up royally but thanked the sun and the moon I hadn’t gotten into a fight. I’m not much of a fighter; I much prefer gentle diplomacy, preferably with an attractive stallion. 

Still.. it couldn’t be that bad, could it? Curious, I gave an unburned corner of the sheets a whiff and barely resisted the urge to gag. I guess fire really wasthe only answer! I resolved to apologize to Lily again and promised to buy her new blankets. 

I went to go back inside but she’d locked me out. I tugged on the door handle futilly as the door refused to yield. “Lily, come on!”

Lily appeared on the uppermost window of the house looking down on me, her expression inscrutable. “Up here, Rose; let me throw you the key.”

“Um, okay.” Couldn’t she just let me inside and be done with it? Why is she carrying around the key to the door?

The response to my question came in the form of a large wash bucket filled with tepid sink water that drenched me from front to back; I spluttered as I got a taste of yesterday’s dirty dishes. “That’s for my room, Rose!” she slammed the window shutters shut.

I stomped my front hooves into the ground hard enough to leave divots in the soil; I’d come in through the wall if she made me any angrier. “Lily, if you don’t open the door this minute, I am going to bust this door down and drink every last drop of your precious milk right in front of you!” I promised, then heard the sound of hysterical laughter coming from somehow above me. I looked up.

“Oh, wait until Twilight hears about this one!” The well known cyan-coated mare with spectral mane and tail poked her head out from behind the cloud she was hiding behind, laughing fit to burst.

“Quiet you! I’ve got a slingshot and water balloons Rainbow Dash, and I know how to use them!” I shook a threatening hoof in her direction. Surely, she wouldn't take into consideration the fact that my slingshot was inside the house and therefore completely useless, right?

Her only response was to laugh again and soar off into the distance, leaving me there to drip-dry. Glowering at the both of them, I trudged my way around the house to check to see if the front door was open when my other roommate Daisy showed up. She had a magenta coat, lime green mane, and emerald eyes. The satisfied look on her face told me things went well for her with Dizzy Twister the night before.

“Either you’ve reached new levels of desperation to find a stallion, or you and Lily are having another disagreement,” she said smugly, looking over my soaked form.

"Just let me already!” I growled, kneeling over and shaking the water off.

“I gotta admit, Rose, the wet look does look very nice on you,” she teased as she unlocked the door.

“Don’t get any bright ideas, Daisy; my stable door doesn’t swing that way!” I glowered before stomping off the bathroom and the nearest towel, wondering what level of Tartarus I would end up bottoming out in before the day was over. 


*****


That evening, the mare of the house, Daisy arranged a truce of sorts between Lily and I. Though she did find my excuse acceptable, if completely hilarious, she insisted I pay for the damage and refrain from any retaliation for the drenching incident. I agreed to the first part and took the latter under advisement. She further ruled that if I ever did that to her, I’d be looking for another job, and another house to live in.

“Yes, ma’am.” I bowed my head and ears in deference. 

Lily left the house to go spend the night in a motel; given her lack of bedding and the unbearable smell of her room I couldn’t blame her. After she departed, Daisy motioned me over to the couch; the smile on her face gave me the impression that her good mood hadn’t quite worn off. I wasn’t sure whether or not to be scared about that.

She took a seat next to me and fixed me with a look of skepticism, regarding me with her forehooves pressed together. “I take it you had a pretty crazy night. It looks like you scrubbed nearly the entire house clean short of Lily’s room. So what really happened last night anyway?” she gave me a sidewise look and grin that told me she already had a pretty good idea. “Am I to believe you just walked calmly into the wrong room with your stallion lover, rutted, and then, lost in the afterglow, you both cleaned the entire house?”

“What can I say, Daisy, the guy was a real gentleman — ” I cringed at my slip “ — gentlecolt I mean.”

Daisy smirked. “Interesting choice of words, Rose.”

I began to sweat under my interrogation. “‘Gentleman’ is a thing humans say right? I picked it up from some of the humans who buy flowers from us. Nothing weird about that.”

“Perhaps,” she said in a smirking tone that said she didn’t buy it for a second. “But there sure were a lot of rose petals in the trash when I checked. Is there anything weird about that?” Daisy asked rhetorically.

“Ngh!” I burrowed under a pillow, wishing I could bury my head like an ostrich. “I’m not saying any more!”

The pillow didn’t deter my friend; she gently pried the cushion up and looked into my face. “Oh Rose, I didn’t think you had it in you!” She grinned evilly and rubbed the top of my head leaving me embarrassed and sore. “You actually brought a human over here!” 

I was determined not to be cornered and forced a straight face even though my cheeks had gone red hot. Abandoning my useless ostrich strategy, I cast the pillow aside and gave her my best poker face. “That’s a bit of a leap don’t you think Daisy? So maybe there was a bit of foreplay before the main event, but you can’t possibly know that!” 

“Good point Rose,” my tormentor conceded, the heat on my face not lost on her. “That isn’t why I think you brought a human over, but I appreciate your concession on the starting point of your little tryst.”

When did my mare pal Daisy become a prosecuting attorney? “Just drop it! I had a friend over, things got serious and then we banged!” I facehoofed, “Great, now Cloud Kicker has got me saying it too.”

Daisy laughed at that. “You’re so adorable, Rose! No, I believe it was a human for one simple reason: you were never one to be ashamed about the stallions you sleep with, but in this instance, you had to get both myself and Lily to leave for the night. Need I remind you of your habit of constantly bringing boys home and keeping me and Lily awake with your moaning?”

Oh, that’s just low Daisy! I scowled at her. “I’m not a complete animal you know! I do try to keep it down and not wake the neighbors. I just get a little carried away sometimes. So the one time I decide to be a lady about it, I get accused of being a ‘humie’ is that it?”

“There’s nothing wrong with it you know,” Daisy said casually before jabbing an accusing hoof in my direction, her face suddenly serious. “Unless you think there’s some reason to be ashamed of it!”

I swallowed hard, and beads of sweat began to form on my brow. “That’s not it at all! So what if ponies want to rut big, scary monsters from another dimension!” 

“I knew it!” Daisy proclaimed, leaping on all fours, not unlike a certain pink party pony in town. “You’re ashamed aren’t you? Staging a romantic encounter at night when nopony is around instead of parading your conquests around is nothing at all like you! I never thought I’d see the day when I’d see my dearest friend in denial about her feelings. Can you no longer trust your best friend, Rose?” her expression went hurt for a moment.

With that, I felt my last reserves of resistance give out. I was running around and keeping secrets instead of talking about my problem with the one mare I could always count on to guard my rear. She was right, I was ashamed… and even worse, I was ashamed for no good reason. I sat upright on the sofa and bowed my head. “I’m sorry Daisy. You’re right. I did have a human over.” With the admission, I felt oddly light-headed and happy, like a great burden that was lifted from my soul. 

Daisy sat next to me and put a leg around my shoulders, nuzzling me gently. “Rose, there’s nothing to worry about. I don’t judge you for wanting to try something new. Just trust your friend and please don’t rut anypony — er — anyone else in dear Lily’s bed, okay?”

I looked into her kind eyes and nodded, my own going a bit misty. I am blessed to have such forgiving friends, even if the most I can expect sometimes is to not be punched when I deserve it. “Promise.”

“Good! So now that that epic battle of wills is out of the way... how was it?” Daisy rubbed her forehooves together expectantly.

“Dear Celestia, it was glorious!” I fell over sideways across Daisy’s lap in a state of giddiness.

“Sounds like he really left quite an impression on you. He certainly left an impression on Lily’s bed!” Daisy giggled.

“You know it filly!” We clopped hooves. “I know this sounds silly, Daisy, but I really want to see him again. I want to know what brings him here to our world. And I really want him to grab me by the tail and have his way with me again!” I grinned exuberantly into Daisy’s cringing face.

“That’s... way more than I wanted to know Rose, but I wish you luck,” she replied, trying hard to keep her face straight. 

Her reaction didn’t surprise me: Daisy’s heart has always been with other mares, though she insists she likes stallions too. Given her standards, I don’t imagine she’ll ever keep one. “Luck is in my name, Daisy, but if that’s not enough, I’ll have Rarity make me a dress!” My eyes lit up at the sudden inspiration.

“A mare like you needing help to lure in a stallion? It hardly seems fair!” Daisy scolded, though her smile betrayed her true feelings.

I rolled off of the sofa and stood up. “Well you know what Linky says about fighting fair: the Chineighse fought fair against the Maregolians and lost.” 

“If you’re going out, say hello to that crazy mare will ya?”

“Will do.” I gave Daisy a mock salute, ran upstairs to get my saddlebag and walked out into the night.


*****


I made my way home from the Carousel Boutique after ordering my new dress, walking down side streets mulling over my earlier conversation with Daisy. My heart sank when it occurred to me that she could have been referring to any non-pony, and that I must have been giving off signals towards the humans since they first came — a decidedly troubling breach of protocol. To snag a stallion, any stallion, you need to maintain control of the situation at all costs. Showing fear or neediness is an absolute disaster and will guarantee your bed remains cold forever. 

And yet fear was the only believable emotion I could bring up in those early days when the portal opened…

Humans weren’t the first interdimensional beings to visit Equestria. Our most dangerous enemy, Tirek, was also an ape-like creature who came under the banner of peace. He was one of only two of his kind that had come through the portal, and yet he nearly conquered Equestria by stealing our magic. 

Within a little over a year of our alliance, humans were in our cities by the dozens, then by the hundreds and then by the thousands. Some of their stallions had even taken marefriends, but I remained suspicious of them, given their meat-eating habits and violent history. Lyra Heartstrings, a good friend of mine, became famous — some would say ‘infamous’ — for being the first mare to carry on a publicly intimate relationship with one of them. I’ll never forget that day she got me wrangled into this mess...


<-=======ooO Ooo=======->


“Thanks again for helping me out with the flowers, Lyra. I trust your human friend won’t be too upset with me taking your time.” I looked around cautiously before opening the door to the greenhouse attached to the side of the house; the sight of dozens of different varieties of brightly-colored plants and the smell of damp earth greeting us. 

Lyra giggled, the mint-coated mare tossing her cyan and white striped mane. “You make Sam sound like my boss! Don’t be silly, Rose; he isn’t going to eat anypony, and he certainly can spare me for an hour or two to be with my friend. So where do you want to start?”

I took a deep breath, trying to purge the sudden thoughts and images that were flooding my head. “The petunias need to be sorted by color into new pots. I can do the work of arranging them, but your magic will make the process much faster,” I gestured to twenty brand-new dirt-filled clay pots and a second filled with petunias of different colors; their roots still clung to the dirt from their erstwhile home. Now that the plants had matured, they needed a larger pot to be arranged in so they could be sold. “We’ll go with a three by nine arrangement: three of one color in the center, and nine around the perimeter.”

“Sounds good, Rose,” Lyra said cheerfully. Then again, cheerful was her normal state nowadays, ever since she met...

We were working for a good twenty minutes before Lyra decided to break the ice. I knew she wanted to talk about humans with someone, and that her roommate Bon-Bon expressly forbade it with her. We had filled seven of the twenty pots when she finally struck. “So my boyfriend told me the other day that on his world there are giant versions of us called horses that they ride around on top of their backs.”

I resisted the urge to scream. It’s one thing for her to engage in such — unnatural — behavior on her own time, but why did I have to hear about it? Still, she was the one helping me out, and she was a good friend even if she did test my patience at times. I broke the root balls on three pink petunias with a harder than necessary stomp from my hoof. “That’s... interesting.”

She telekinetically placed the three pink petunias I gave her in the center of the soil-filled pot before packing the dirt in around them. “That’s not even the half of it! He says that his civilization was basically built on the backs of horses. They rode them into battle, worked alongside them on their farms, and even befriended them despite them being just another animal with no intelligence. It’s almost like we’re meant to be together you know?” She shot me a nervous glance. 

I sighed and stomped nine yellow petunia root balls to complete the arrangement. Was this what the humans told Celestia and Luna to gain their trust? That humans and ponies were sister races joined by fate to be friends? What foal would think to do that to a wild animal they just happen to encounter? Still, I found myself uncomfortably intrigued by the idea of these humans strapping themselves to our backs and riding us around...

“I’m sorry Rose, I must be weirding you out…” Lyra finally recognized my discomfort, looking away from me and towards the door. “I’ll shut up now…”

“Oh! I’m sorry, Lyra; I was just wondering how these humans would go about strapping themselves to the back of a horse.” I was happy to notice that Lyra had perked up at my apparent interest. 

Lyra added the yellow petunias around the edge to complete the arrangement. “Does this look right?”

I nodded.

“Well it all started with humans breeding them to make them larger and larger so they could be used to pull things like plows and carts,” Lyra said with renewed cheerfulness. “Then they decided to design a seat that they could sit on that fastened them to the horse’s back and allowed them to control which way they moved with a strap that attached to their muzzle and teeth…” 

The greenhouse had suddenly become a great deal hotter. 

Lyra gave me a knowing smile. “It seems I really have gotten your attention, Rose. I had no idea such an independent mare as yourself was curious about being bound!”

My cheeks had turned cherry. Don’t be silly, Lyra! I just find the idea of ape-like creatures tying us up to be…” I licked my lips.

“Incredibly hot?” she cut in with a knowing grin.

“No! I just find it curious.” I looked into my bucket and pretended to be fixated on choosing a new color for the next arrangement, while I battled to regain composure.

“Curiously sexy?” she needled, her knowing grin growing bigger.

“Ugh! Lyra, you will swear by Celestia not to tell anypony about this discussion!” I felt a pair of unseen eyes upon me and whirled around only to find nothing but vibrant, blue orchids standing tall in the five pots lined up on a table in the greenhouse.

“I know what you’re feeling Rose. Just give yourself time and you’ll figure it out.” She gave me an encouraging smile and a pat on the back.

“Thanks, Lyra.” I smiled back, just happy to know that if anypony would be up to covering my flank on a strange fetish, it would be her. “How long did it take those humans to figure out what they were doing anyway?”

“My boyfriend said that humans were working on it for thousands of years. He’s taught me quite a lot about human civilization already in the short time I’ve known him…” she began to explain.

“Tell me everything!” I blurted out, immediately regretting having committed myself down this road into the Everfree from which I may never return. I comforted myself in the knowledge that at least if these humans turned out to be hungry predators, I might be able to use that knowledge to survive.

“I hope you’ve got longer than a couple hours, Rose.” Lyra’s huge, ridiculous grin telling me I was in for a looooong day.


<-=======ooO Ooo=======->


It was pretty late by the time I made it home. Rarity had been delighted to hear about how well my night had gone, having put me on to the idea, and I happily explained the details — after Sweetie Belle was asleep of course. When I suggested taking him out on a date, she recommended against Ponyville; it was too dangerous for Gentleman at the moment and in any case, she knew of a place to stay called the Amaris Inn in the village of Hollow Shades that was, to put it in her words, ‘simply divine’. 

A village surrounded by a dark forest that absorbed sunlight in the company of my favorite monster? I licked my lips.

Remembering the card Stuntman had given me, I decided it was time to give Gentleman For Mares another call. I jumped into bed, grabbed the card on my nightstand and picked up the phone with my teeth.

I was so excited to finally get one of these. When Equestria’s businesses starting hooking up to the newly-formed telephone network, I had a line installed for the flower shop we set up every morning outside that I tapped into after business hours to make outside calls. Grasping a pencil in my teeth, I punched out the number into the large, pony-friendly keypad located on the phone’s base, and waited.

“Hello, you’ve reached Gentleman For Mares, this is Clarissa speaking. How may I help you?” Came the voice on the other end.

It was that nice human woman I’d dealt with before. “Hi, Clarissa, it’s me, Roseluck!”

“Calling us again so soon? I trust everything went well for you last night,” Clarissa replied in a polite, but casual tone. 

“Yes, it was wonderful! In fact, I was wondering if I could plan for something a bit more formal with the same gentleman; a nice date so I can get to get to know him better. Stuntman was his name.” There was a brief moment of silence.

“Ah yes! I see here that he left you his card, so he must have enjoyed your company quite a bit too. This next meeting will be half cost. I have to admit, it’s quite unusual for customers to request an all-out night of fun, and then go for the dating.”

Clarissa had a good point, I conceded internally. “Well, where would have been the fun in that, huh?” I placed one foreleg behind my head casually as if she were in the room with me when I realized she was miles away. I felt really dumb.

Clarissa laughed. “Did you have a timeframe in mind? He’s booked up for this week, but we can get you in later next week.”

“Next Friday around eight at night?” I suggested, thankful that I’d get a week to get the money together. So much for my savings. “I’ll meet him at the Amaris Inn in Hollow Shades.”

“Sounds great! That will be one hundred bits. Be sure to have it in by Tuesday by end of business hours. You two have a wonderful time!” 

“Thanks, Clarissa! Bye Bye!”

“Goodbye!”

I hung up the phone, laid back in bed, and snaked a hoof between my thighs. “Come and get me, hunter,” I whispered as I revisited the dark forest in my dreams once more.
> The Battle of Ponyville Flower Shop
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next Tuesday couldn’t come soon enough. It wasn’t just the seven days of waiting, although that didn’t help my mood. It wasn’t even the fact that my need for bits had exceeded even the drive to mate, leaving me to work sixteen hour days — eight at the stall and eight in the greenhouse and making phone calls — for six days in a row to help meet my rather sizable financial obligations.

No, the worst was Lily, who seemed bound and determined to hate me for all time for what I’d done. Even after a couple days, Daisy was rolling her eyes. “I’m half-tempted to make Lily deliver the cart to Canterlot more often,” Daisy had remarked after watching Lily skulking around the greenhouse seemingly under a cloud. “She might finally get over this weird thing she has against other ponies.”

Lily Valley has never liked crowds. She doesn’t like sunshine, rainbows or friendship for that matter either. She came from Hoofington, a mining town turned industrial center that churns out nearly half of Equestria’s steel. It’s not the kind of city you visit because of the friendly atmosphere and fine dining from what Lily has told me, but a crowded, chaotic, and unfriendly place. She came to Ponyville alone and asked Daisy and me for a job to get away from it all.

In retrospect, she could have picked a better place for peace and quiet.

Since she’s been here, she’s shown little interest in anything but working. I even tried to hook her up with a stallion, but she wasn’t into that idea at all. She told me that the very idea of sleeping with a stallion turned her stomach; and in any case, once you required another pony to be in your life, you were subject to whatever problems that pony had. “I just don’t need another pony’s problems Rose,” Lily had told me, “Life is crazy enough in this town already without wondering what the other pony is up to.”

I’m not sure why she thinks another pony might be plotting against her, but I can only imagine how pent-up the poor mare is. I’ve always found that other ponies make things easier and not harder — especially when one is in heat.  

At least all this work is for a good cause, I thought to myself, wiping the sweat from my forehead after having served the last customer in line. I would have enough money for the dress, the next date, and Lily’s bedding and it would only require a seventy-two hour work week.

I wasn’t exactly what you’d call an hourly employee, being paid a salary based on profit, but I have the option to do Daisy’s work for her and get extra bits that way. Daisy spends a lot of time out of town doing businesspony stuff and doesn't have a lot of time to spend on housekeeping so she's more than happy to pay extra. Deliveries are also commissioned, and since Lily hates to pull the cart for the risk of being seen by somepony, I could always keep up on my spending with hard work. 

Two more days, Rose. Two more days. I’d been so tired the last week, I didn’t even have time to clop. With the line to my stall empty as usual during lunch hour, my eyes began to droop, the warmth of the last summer sun lulling me into my familiar daydream of being chased through the woods. 

A heavily accented mare’s voice cut rudely into my fantasy. “Oi, Rose!” Ugh, this job would be great if it wasn’t for the customers!

I looked up to see Golden Harvest, a friend of Daisy’s and Ponyville’s resident carrot aficionado. She had a golden yellow coat — shaggier than what most Equestrian ponies would find normal — with a bright orange mane and tail that gave her an uncanny resemblance to her namesake vegetable. She had once tried to dye her thick, curly mane green after being dumped by her marefriend at the time, but it didn’t go over well. My eyes were drawn to her hooves which were capped by unshorn fetlocks which matched her mane's color.

“Sleeping on the job are yeh?” Golden Harvest asked in mock sternness, her smile giving her away.

“Sorry, it’s just I’ve been working long hours and…” I shook myself out of my daydream fully. “Wait a minute, why aren’t you at the carrot stand in town?”

Golden Harvest waved a hoof at me dismissively. “Oh, Linky can handle herself for a wee moment. I was just on me way home for lunch and thought I’d say hello.” 

Golden's eyes darted towards the greenhouse, I caught the faintest hint of a wistful look — or perhaps allergies, who can tell — before she looked back at me. “Work, work, work. Every time I see her, she’s always working. A filly like her should be out enjoying the company of others. Don’t you agree?”

I immediately discarded my allergy hypothesis and a whole new world of ideas had opened to me. Did Golden Harvest know something about my dear roommate that I didn’t? Perhaps a stallion isn’t the solution to Lily’s problems after all. I put on my most professional salespony face I could muster given my exhaustion. “I couldn’t agree more! Why not go to her and say hello? She’ll appreciate the company.”

The curly-maned earth pony’s head and ears drooped slightly, her face crestfallen before adjusting to a more cheerful expression.  “I cannae ask a hard-working mare to stop being productive on my account. Just tell her I said ‘hello’ fer me if yeh don’t mind.”

Ugh. When will mares learn you have to get a leg in the door before you can do business? I chastised her in my head while smiling and nodding politely. “Of course!” 

“Goldie!” Daisy trotted out of the house and hugged the carrot farmer. “What brings you all the way out here?” 

Golden Harvest’s eyes went shifty for a moment. I supposed she wasn’t quite ready to have to answer the same question twice.

“Just thought I’d stop by and say hello. Yeh know, just bein’ neighborly,” Golden Harvest replied somewhat defensively. “I was going to have a bite to eat back at my place while Linky tended the stand.”

“Oh of course. Well, why not stay with us for lunch, Goldie? Rose, you look like you could use a break yourself.” Daisy patted me on the back. 

The sound of hoof clops coming towards us fast caught our groups attention and we turned to face the source of the disturbance. 

“The unicorns are coming! The unicorns are coming! Grab yer slingshots gals, we’re going to war!” The crazed mare I recognized immediately as Linky proclaimed, in similarly accented Equestrian to that of Golden Harvest with a matching shaggy coat and unshorn fetlocks.

The Maya-blue coated mare’s tangled periwinkle mane was even wilder than usual, as she appeared to have run half the length of Ponyville toting a saddlebag laden with water balloons; a slingshot much like the one I owned strapped to her right foreleg.

Golden Harvest rolled her eyes. “Yeh couldn’t resist, could yeh? All I asked you to do was watch the bleedin’ cart for an hour, and yeh’ve restarted our feud!”

“Feud? This is destiny!” Linky gave a haughty laugh and shrugged off her saddlebag before selecting an overfilled bright-red balloon. “The greatest happiness is to scatter yer enemy, to drive her before yeh, to see her cities reduced to ashes, to see those who love her shrouded in tears, and to take her stallions for sex and war mounts!” Her fandango eyes shimmered with a dreadful malice that spoke of a far different time and place. “To battle, my beloved sisters!”

It’s a look I’ve seen many a time from her, and when I have, I’ve done what’s asked of me. 

“Linky… we’re defending a flower shop!”  Daisy shrieked. “Tell them we can fight later!”

I admired Daisy’s logical and clear-headed approach but knew it was no good. “I’ll go get the slingshots, Ma’am!” I gave her a stiff salute and ran inside in the house leaving the other three to argue the details.

When I came back, six unicorn mares were already lined up just outside the front yard; three of them bore peeved expressions and evidence of recently being struck with well-placed water balloon shots. Linky had taken it upon herself to restart our conflict with Ponyville’s unicorns after our snowball fight with them last winter. 

“Hiiiiii Linkyyyyy!” shouted one of them — a white-coated unicorn with a long pink mane and tail who was jumping up and down on all fours.

“Hey, Twinkleshine!” Linky reared up on both legs and waved back at her, all pretense of their relationship cast aside; I watched Golden Harvest giggle into her hoof.

“Linky, your wanton act of aggression against the Platinum Order has not gone unnoticed. Surrender your water balloons, or be soaked,” their pink-coated leader, Sparkler, pronounced coolly from beneath her violet and lavender striped mane. To punctuate her threat she drew a water balloon out of her own saddlebag with magic. The disciplined unicorn team would allow themselves a condescending smirk before pummeling us into oblivion.

“Perleh.” 

Everyone turned to face Daisy who had uttered the nonsensical word.

“Perlalaylayloo!” Daisy slurred, again failing to speak properly. 

Sparkler buried her face in both hooves, dropping her watery missile and soaking her hooves. 

Undeterred, Daisy continued her fruitless search for the right word, moving   “Pine. Parsnip. Parsley. Pard'ner…” 

“Parley?” Lily suggested helpfully, surprising us all, having left the greenhouse and joined us while we were watching Daisy continue to make a foal of herself.

“No parley. We fight!” Linky shouted, taking aim with her slingshot at their leader.

“Wait, Linky!” Golden Harvest cried out to no avail. 

The sling-launched missile caught Sparkler right in the chest, and the unicorns loosed a barrage on us — Golden Harvest taking the worst as she shielded Lily from the fight. Quite the chivalrous mare that one is! We fired at each other until we were all soaked to the skin. To my surprise, even Lily got into the act, paying back the carrot farmer’s kindness by blasting the enemy with the garden hose with lethal accuracy. Deciding they were receiving far more abuse than they were dishing out, Sparkler sent up a blue flare, signaling a retreat.

“We’ll be back Linky!” Sparkler taunted from a safe distance. “At a time and place of our choosing that doesn’t have a garden hose!” Sparkler and her team turned tail and ran back toward the center of town.  

Linky leaped atop the flower stall and shook her right hoof at the retreating unicorns. “Let this be remembered as the day the unicorns almost defeated the Overmare, Linky, and her army of —” A stream of hose water to the back of the head cut her victory speech short. She turned and faced Lily, who was still holding the hose in her teeth. “Oi! What didja do that for!?” 

“For getting us all attacked and ruining our flower displays. Now shoo!” Lily dismissed her with a flick of her hoof.

“Aye, get back to the stall and mind the carrots already!” Golden Harvest added. “And don’t start any more battles with the neighbors!”

Linky jumped down from the stall and nodded appreciatively at Lily. “Ye’ve got some nerve! You’ll make a fine addition to my army, little flower filly. Farewell!” She launched herself at top speed back into town along the same road the unicorns had taken, leaping over a cart at the intersection pulled by a stunned-looking dark-haired, mustachioed human man that read, Three Guys Who Paint across the side. 

Judging by his expression he must have been new to town. I hope he has the opportunity one day of really experiencing the out of the ordinary for Ponyville...

“Sorry about Linky: she’s a bit touched in the head, but she means well. I’m…” Golden Harvest trailed off flustered as she looked at Lily, I suspect having forgotten her own name. 

“Golden Harvest,” Lily finished for her, smiling. I’ve seen you around. Thanks for helping me back there, it was — ” Lily stopped to brush her sopping mane out of her face, “ — quite heroic actually.”

“Hey Daisy, I think I’ll finish up what Lily's got going on in the greenhouse,” I whispered to Daisy. 

She smiled knowingly and made a gesture with her hoof to tell me I was to pick up the phone in the greenhouse if it rang; Daisy took my place behind the counter. 

The two of them talked for hours while I toiled away in the greenhouse; seeing the two of them talking, the way they just seemed to hit it off, made me feel good. Maybe there really is somepony for everypony. 

When Lily realized just how long she’d been talking she said farewell to her new friend and ran back to the greenhouse. I gestured towards the completed arrangements and gave her one I’d made especially for her: a lovely assortment of lilies in white, pink and purple. 

She started to say something, tears in her eyes when she dove at me and nearly hugged the life out of me. 

We never did apologize, we didn’t have to, and we never spoke of the Great Disaster™ again.


*****


Aside from the work not getting any easier, the remaining time between work and my own special brand of play was much less stressful and went a lot faster. Daisy had no problem with giving me taking a few more days off, and the money I made that week would cover the damage and then some. Not surprisingly, when word got out about the water balloon fight, we started to get more visits from human men hopeful that another battle would break out any moment. I had to ask Daisy what the big attraction was, and she explained that men — and quite a few mares of the filly-fooler persuasion — found the sight of wet females alluring. 

“I’m thinking we need to start staging more of these get-togethers with the unicorns. Just think of the business we’ll generate and all we have to do is have fun and get wet!” Daisy had told me.

I really don’t get the appeal of being covered in wet fur, but I always appreciate the chance to have my beauty recognized; naturally, I agreed to her plan. I took it as granted that Linky would be on board and wondered if wet-maned Twinkleshine might give her added incentive...

“All aboard!” the conductor of the Friendship Express called out. 

I filed on with the rest of the ponies and into the horrors of public transportation. 

Well, horror might not be a very gracious way to put it. The elderly unicorn couple I shared a booth with were quiet enough, but outside of our booth, the car was filled with the sounds of Discord’s second-coming. Foals ran screaming up and down the corridor while ponies and humans sang songs of Equestrian and Earth origin — the latter songs being sung in multiple languages. It was an experience, to say the least. 

Most of the passengers disembarked at Canterlot including the elderly unicorns leaving me with the booth all to myself. When we started back up, the train moved north by northeast past small towns and blue-green moors and the distant peak of Foal Mountain that separated Canterlot from the major cities of Manehatten and Fillydelphia; I wasn’t going out that far thankfully, instead following the tracks southeast and into the darkest and spookiest and all forests outside the Everfree: Shady Forest.

We ponies prefer obvious names for things to save time.

The sun had been high in the sky on a bright clear day, but as soon as I moved past the tree line we were all cast into twilight. I had reached the forest of my dreams, and even now my hunter was coming for me again. I began to feel all seven days of my abstinence and immediately regretted my decision to start with a date. I needed it badly, but I reminded myself who was in charge of the situation. No, I was going to earn it this time. I gathered my belonging from the compartment over my head and disembarked onto the dark, chilly platform.

Exiting the train and stepping out onto the cobblestone road, I was struck by the chill in the air. It had dropped nearly fifteen degrees from outside the forest! I looked up into the darkened sky and into the sun, muted as if eclipsed by the moon. The houses were all carved from trees and lit with a soft, magical glow. Outside of several businesses with a more modern aesthetic that nonetheless did their best to fit in, it was primitive living for the natives of Hollow Shades. The air was filled with fireflies, even the street lamps used them to light the path along the narrow streets through town. Red, black and blue seem to be the order of the day, I thought to myself taking in the scene. It must look like Nightmare Night every day of the week.

It didn’t take me long to find the Amaris Inn as it was easily the largest building in town, and one of the only buildings that utilized stone in its construction. I suppose I could have just looked at the map, but where would be the fun in that? I gave the blue and white uniformed mare at the front desk my name and received a key for room twenty-three in return. 

The room was small but cozy. The walls were painted in a dark blue with a door off to one side I took to be the bathroom and three closets. Another door led to a balcony from which the weak sunlight was filtering into the room. Firefly lamps did most of the work of lighting the room and matched the atmosphere of the rest of the village perfectly. I chose the closet nearest to me and loaded it up.

The soft lighting of the room combined with my seventy-two hour work week made me feel sleepy and the cozy bed topped by crescent moon patterned sheets beckoned me forth like a siren’s song. I set the alarm clock and took a nap.

I awoke at what counts for nighttime around these parts — somewhat darker than the day — and after a quick shower, I put on my dress with the help of a convenient full body mirror. I’ll admit, dress up is really not my thing. I’ve never needed to wear clothing to make myself hotter because I’m basically the hottest mare in Ponyville already. Okay, that’s not necessarily a unanimous opinion, but close enough. According to Lyra though, men find us more attractive with clothes than without them; this despite the fact that they find their own women more attractive without clothes, and yet they force everyone to wear clothes…

Humans are strange, just incomprehensibly bizarre. So, I’d play along.

The dress was emerald green with a white, garnet studded trim, with no collar; I may not dress up often, but I know not to cover up the finest length of neck in all of Equestria! The front legs ran all the way down to the top of my hooves. Tied to my back was a matching garnet-studded cloth saddle perfect for tempting my predatory companion. The skirt was low-cut but clung tightly enough to my rump to reveal the panties below and offering a challenge for him to overcome. I left my mane un-styled; you can’t improve on perfection.

I heard a knock at the door. He was several minutes early this time. He couldn’t wait to pierce me, to hear me beg for more! 

That’s enough! I put my hoof down, literally. I couldn’t help but imagine what Stuntman must be thinking behind the door. I am here to go this talk to this nice man, not to let him rut my brains out… yet. Throwing all perverse thoughts into the closet within my mind and slamming the door shut, I opened the door, wearing my most charming smile.

“We meet again, little pony.” The insatiable blond-haired beast had returned, his gray eyes gleaming.

Let's do this, handsome!
> Forest Chase
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The menacing figure who had chased me all over my house was gone, replaced by a warm, friendly, and altogether cuddly hunk of a gentleman. He wore a semi-formal light gray suit with matching pants and a burgundy vest that matched my mane and cutie mark. How thoughtful of him! “You clean up well, monster.”

I proffered a steel shoe-capped hoof which he kissed, his eyes never leaving sight of mine. “I can be quite civilized when I want to be, though, in the presence of such a lovely mare, my work is cut out for me.” 

I briefly contemplated just taking him right there — the bed being only six feet away from us — but I declined. Lyra told me that men were accustomed to pursuing mares, the way I pursued stallions. If we both did the pursuing then we would never leave the bedroom. “You will have your prize later, Stuntman, after we’ve had a chance to see this lovely town.” I gave his right arm an affectionate nuzzle and brushed my tail along his flank to let him know he was not being punished.

“Yes ma’am!” he responded earnestly, placing his right hand on my withers and leading me out into the warm, breezy night. 

I was surprised to see the activity level on the streets had only increased since nightfall; in Ponyville, it’s the exact opposite with activity nearly grinding to a halt, but here, many bars and vendors were just opening for business, serviced by red and black open-roof carriages pulled by earth ponies with prop bat wings. 

Hollow Shades is not subtle about their theme, are they?

I heard the rustling of wings overhead, but couldn’t see who they belonged to. I disregarded it as my imagination at first, but after the fourth or fifth time I heard it, I started to get a little nervous — most pegasi didn’t fly at night. I looked up at Stuntman who seemed completely unperturbed. “Stuntman, did you hear that sound? There’s somepony flying around out here!”

He ran his fingers through the coat of my neck absent-mindedly. “It’s nothing to worry about. Just the local thestrals going about their business.”

“Eep!” I crouched low to the ground and covered my head with my forehooves, shivering. “There are bat ponies here?” I suddenly felt much less safe.

Stuntman gave a hearty laugh. “Rose, they’re not going to hurt you! I come here every now and then to go flying with them. They’re good folk, they just keep to themselves.”

I looked up at Stuntman, confused. “You… fly with them?”

The handsome gentleman chuckled, coaxing me out of hiding and lifting me back to my hooves. “I’ve been flying for much of my life. Here in Equestria, I’ve made a lot of friends with the pegasi, griffins, and even a few thestrals. It’s been a dream come true for me to be able to sail across the sky without an airplane.”

I stood up and dusted myself off trying to make heads or tails of what I’d just been told. “I have so many questions.”

He laughed that good-natured laugh of his once more. “We’ve got all night, Rose. What would you like to know?”

“How do you go flying here in Equestria without wings?” 

“Mostly, by strapping myself to a team of pegasi with ropes and harnesses. The griffins are a lot of fun too since they go out of their way to try to make you puke. I’ve been up in the air with thestrals too, but only a couple times. They don’t have the best of reputations with other ponies and tend to only fly at night when I’m at work.” Stuntman looked momentarily glum, but it passed quickly, and he was all smiles once more. “The pegasi though are always up for flying, and I spend most of my time off sailing through the air like Bellerophon…”

“The man who rode the pegasus!” I cut in, proud of my knowledge of obscure human trivia.

“No way! You know about him?” He looked at me skeptically. “He’s considered obscure even amongst humanity and he’s one of our legends!

“Well, it’s a joke between me and my best friend. Her boyfriend, Sam, told her about the man who rode the pegasus,” I explained. 

Stuntman went quiet for a moment, “Sam… McNamara?”

I had to think about that one for the moment, still unfamiliar with human surnames. They were so… non-descriptive! “I think so. He’s a guitar player who started seeing Lyra shortly after the humans first arrived in Ponyville. I read about her in the papers and thought she had completely lost her mind!”

“I see you’ve changed your opinion on the matter.” Stuntman wiggled his eyebrows at me suggestively, making me giggle.

“Oh I still think she’s insane, but she’s a sweetheart and I wouldn’t have her any other way. I did, initially, find the idea of... relations... with humans somewhat horrifying though I must admit,” I confessed.

“I still think your way of dealing with your fear was pretty awesome. You’re a remarkable mare, Roseluck; I’ll have you jumping out of airplanes in no time!” 

I seized on that unfamiliar word, remembering what Lyra had told me about them. “Airplane is a flying machine, right?”

“Yep. We use them for everything from fighting to simple transportation. I used to parachute drop supplies out of a C-130 Hercules for The United States Air Force — our military in the air. Think of me as your friendly neighborhood pegasus mailman.” He gave me a sweeping bow.

“I hope you didn’t break everything! Is that why you had to come to Equestria, you got the bill for breaking it all?” I grinned at him wryly.

Stuntman clutched his chest as if mortally wounded, “You insult my dignity as a loadmaster! I will see to it you never get your mail on time again!” He gave me a wink and my neck a gentle squeeze.

I couldn’t help but laugh at his histrionics. Who knew my monster was such a silly man when he wasn’t preying on defenseless me? “You’re cute! I’m still confused as to how the things you drop don’t break when they hit the ground; I didn’t think humans had magic.”

He nodded approvingly in my direction. “Correct. We strap a parachute onto it to deploy and slow its rate of descent. It’s basically a huge balloon that’s open on one end once opened. We fit them to ourselves and jump out of the planes as well sometimes; alas, it wasn’t to be for me until I left the military and had to do it on my own dime.”

I stood on both legs my eyes widened in shock as I gazed up at him. “You couldn’t! You could get hurt!”

“You might,” he replied matter-of-factly, “but if you know what you’re doing, it’s actually quite safe.”

I question his definition of safe. Such strange folk these humans can be! “I don’t know how your mares, er, women put up with you!”

“Believe me, they’re wondering the same thing!” He gestured to a small, moody-looking building across the street that was lit by red and gold lights; the sign above the doorway read, Arbor Shades Restaurant. “Shall we have a bite to eat before the Parade of Lights?”

“I wasn’t aware there was an event in town tonight. Sounds like a plan!” Ever the gentleman, Stuntman held the door open for me and allowed me to enter first. 

He wasn’t kidding about the thestrals. Oh, how Lily would freak if she saw this! It seems the thestrals here made up nearly half the population of the town. Half pony and half bat, they could fly just as well as the pegasi but didn’t need to be able to see where they’re going. Looking around the dimly-lit room, I noticed all of them were eating fruit-based meals around tables with hay bale seats. I felt silly for worrying about them earlier, but they’re just so spooky!

“Good evening,” spoke a deep, velvety voice.

I only jumped in my seat a little. Looking up, I acknowledged the thestral speaking to me. Her mane and tail were dark purple, as were her bat-like wings; but the eyes were what really startled me — glowing yellow with oval pupils. “Sorry! You surprised me is all.”

“No need to be sorry, dear. You sound like you’re from out of town. Are you here for The Parade of Lights?” she asked politely, showing off a delicate set of pointed fangs as she spoke.

“I’m afraid not. I was just in town to visit with my friend.” I reached my hoof across the table and felt his warm hand close around it. I turned back to look at him and saw him deep in thought as he beheld the thestral. 

Stuntman scratched his chin before having made up his mind. “I have the strangest feeling I’ve seen you before in Las Pegasus; you were performing in Nightmare of the Opera house.” 

She gave a haunting laugh that, I hoped, bore us no ill-will. “I get that all the time! That was my sister, Ember Iris. Such a beautiful voice she has; she had no choice but to be famous! I am Moonlight Blossom, and I am much more comfortable in the kitchen than on stage.” 

To prove it, she showed us her cutie mark, a crossed three-pronged fork and bottle I took to represent cooking sherry or maybe she just likes to get good and lit while she’s cooking. I made a mental note to ask Daisy how this whole cooking thing works someday…

“What can you tell me about this ‘Parade of Lights’ you’re having in town?” I asked politely, setting aside all thoughts of cooking for the time being.

“Well, to give you the history behind it we must go back to around the time after the fall of Nightmare Moon. You may be familiar with the events from your history books, but less-well-known in pony circles was the persecution of the thestrals which followed. While some of our ancestors did serve the corrupted Princess of the Night, the majority of us followed neither side. Despite this, we faced scorn from the ponies of the day and were even attacked on sight — it wasn’t pretty.” 

“I’m terribly sorry to hear that Moonlight.” I felt a pang of guilt having made a similar misplaced judgment about humans.

“Not your fault, sweetie. Anyway, many of us grew fed up with the constant fear and harassment and our founder, Night Wish, lead a group of thestrals here to Shady Forest, under a canopy of firefly lit lamps carried by watchponies to serve as a beacon for others to join us in freedom from the hatred of our daylight-loving kinfolk. The magic of the forest suppresses the light from the sun, making it a perfect place to hide and build our own thestral colony to preserve our way of life. Every year, on this day, we celebrate our ancestors founding with our own precession of lights, and keep to the traditions of the original settlers.” 

Moonlight Blossom gestured to the modern if pale, yellow lights, and kitchen behind the counter. “Well, we bent the rules a bit here and there.” She gave us a wink and a smile. “We’re happy to be enjoying much better relations with the outside these days, since Nightmare Moon’s defeat, though still for thestrals living on the outside, there is still the occasional bigot who can’t accept us being one of them.” 

Stuntman nodded his head solemnly.

I suddenly felt like a bit of a rube not realizing that outside Ponyville, thestrals were actually living in cities with other ponies. Stuntman for one seemed to know this fact, and I couldn’t help but wonder what else was going on out there that I didn’t know about.

Moonlight Blossom turned out to be a very good waitress and kept us entertained with details about the area generally not found on travel brochures — “My friends and I used to cool off at a pond within an orchard half a mile east of here were the fireflies rest so thick on the trees, they are constantly glowing!” — and even tried her hoof at singing, which she did exceptionally well at by my reckoning. She insisted her sister was not only better than she but could handle the bright lights and strange city types that sometimes follow you around. 

“I’m perfectly happy living nowhere near Las Pegasus, and hope to keep it that way,” the thestral said definitively, rapping her hoof on the table for emphasis.

Stuntman asked about the humble life of the Ponyville florist, and frankly showed far more interest in it than I do. He asked questions from the mundane — “How do you arrange all the different-colored flowers to fit the pattern you’re going for?" — to the esoteric — “How does earth pony magic interact with growing flowers? Do you ever get giant-sized daffodils?”

“Only the occasional giant-sized human coming to rut me senseless on my roommate's bed!” I whispered to him.

“It would be a real shame if you decided to blackmail me with that someday, Rose.” He said huskily, his gray, lust-filled eyes staring hungrily into mine.

“Think of the terrible consequences, Stuntman: why you might just be stuck with me forever.” I leaned forward across the table to give him a better look at me. Behind me, I felt my tail flag involuntarily; my dress maintaining my modesty for those seated behind me, and a challenge for the merciless predator who was resolved to storm my austere castle, and claim the innermost works.

He fired the first shot, brushing his warm, but slightly calloused hands over my neck, fingers gently brushing at my coat and he drew me into a slow and passionate kiss — a direct hit that left me wanting more, but now was not the time. He could spare no others to witness his craft, and after paying for our meal and leaving a generous tip for our good service, we departed.


*****


The thestral’s Parade of Lights was no mere street demonstration, but a multi-level airborne display with glowing, red, gold, and purple-uniformed, thestrals flying in formations above the parade ground over a similarly lit caravan. Some of the carts, replicas of the ones used by the colonists, were pulled by as many as six thestrals who lacked the strength of earth ponies and had to rely on numbers. Thestral archers fitted with leg-mounted crossbows marched alongside the caravan and looked out into the crowd lining the road. I noticed with interest that only their faces and abdomen were protected by armor. Spear-carriers were paired off with them that were identically armored; they marched in groups of four, two of each.

“Why aren’t they covered from the front if they’re supposed to be watching the road?” I asked Stuntman, thinking about the Canterlot Guard with their full body armor.

“The thestrals fight very similarly to the pegasi but with an even more limited carrying capacity,” Stuntman explained. “Griffons have it the best as far as being able to bear heavy loads and still fight, but thestral wings can only support armor protection of their most vulnerable points. They compensate by using rough terrain and the advantage of their peerless night vision to decimate their foes from a defensive stand. They’re paired off like the old Spanish tercio — a sort of army formation on earth used hundreds of years ago — so that the archer can be protected while he reloads.”

I raised an eyebrow at him.

“Some folks would call me a dweeb for knowing that, but I’ve always been interested in military tactics, and especially aerial combat. I’ve studied each of Equestria’s flying races tactics and histories. I have a reputation as an airman to uphold, after all.” He smiled and teased my ear with his fingers.

“Point taken,” I replied, letting out a quiet gasp as he caught the sweet spot between my head and ear. I felt myself begin to heat up again...

Some of the thestrals bore lanterns identical to the ones that lit the street, signaling for others which joined the throng from out of the darkness and took up positions in the procession. It was like watching history happen, but my concentration had begun to slip after the first hour; I felt my need overtake me. “Stuntman, I think we should scout out the woods for our gracious hosts to make sure they’re safe. Perhaps we should start at that lovely place Midnight told us about hmm?”

Stuntman gave me a knowing smile. “Would be a shame to leave them unprepared for the enemy. Let's go!


*****


Once out of sight of the crowds watching the parade, we made our way through the forest along the trail we’d been told about. It felt nice to be able to walk into the woods and not have to worry about monsters or diamond dogs. Our only companions were fireflies and the chirping of crickets around us. The area was bathed in moonlight, unaffected by the magic which muted the sun. 

“The area seems to be clear of danger.” The gentleman said suggestively.

“Not entirely, monster. There’s still you!” I winked at him and gave him a smack on the rump with my tail and bolted off along the path with Stuntman in hot pursuit. 

Though not the swiftest runner in Ponyville, I could no doubt run circles around Richard at full gallop on level ground, and with a good view ahead of me. Tonight, all dressed up and in an unfamiliar forest, the slow human was able to keep up. 

“Run my little pony!” he taunted playfully, slowly closing the gap between us.

Whenever I got a good lead on him, the trail would turn and I had to slow way down. I looked back and noticed how nimble the otherwise slow-moving biped was at maneuvering corners. Around about the third corner he was so close I could hear his breathing. I let out a playful shriek and bolted through at top speed. 

I could notice the forest in front of me lighten; I must be getting close to the forest pond. After a fourth bend in the trail, it appeared right in front me and I skidded to a halt right in front of it. The trail dead-ended at the little pond surrounded by various fruit trees. Struck by an inspiration, I laid myself down on the trail behind a convenient tree root...

I heard him land just in front of the water’s edge, he whirled around and gave a triumphant cry.

I cursed myself silently for thinking that would work; I really thought I’d get one over on the wily predator just once. I stood up and faced him. “Cornered again like so many others. Was the last time not enough to slake your lust?" My head jerked over in the direction of the treeline at what sounded like the rustling of wings, worry growing inside me as I remembered the nocturnal nature of the forest's resident thestrals.

“Not for you, Rose!” he whispered in my ear before gently nibbling on the edge, my strange reaction unnoticed. “I promised you the hunt would never end.” 

I felt his hands begin to unzip me from my dress, baring me with tantalizing slowness. I felt my legs begin to tremble and the need so long suppressed for over a week, burst forth from me anew. My hunter had come for me, and nothing would stop him. I rested my top half on the exposed root I had been hiding behind, my rear draped over the back with my back hooves hovering just above the ground where he stood. The flower of my marehood began to weep as he freed me from my silken fortress and laid me bare before his final assault. 

“Oh! These are quite lovely.” He ran his fingers along the warm fabric of my panties. He inhaled deeply taking in my scent. “You are ready to receive your release?”

“Yes. By Celestia, yeeesss!”  I screamed with mingled frustration and anticipation. 

Hearing the urgency of my plea, he wasted no time in peeling away my last line of defense with his teeth and giving my entrance a few desultory licks to appreciate the devastating effect they had on me while kneading my rump with his powerful fingers. Suitably amused, he removed my back shoes and began to massage them while he licked greedily at my sensitive nub. 

I whined, and I whimpered. I thought of the possibility of being watched by half the village from behind the trees with apprehension, but in the end, I could only throw my head to the starry sky and cry out in ecstasy as I came hard into his eager mouth. As the intense pleasure slowly withdrew, and my mind started to work again; I could feel the cool, night air on my sweat-covered coat. 

“So young and fertile. I could rut you for days, and you would not grow weary!” He gently rubbed the fine hairs of my cutie mark and kissed it.

I turned myself around to face him.“Rut me for days or weeks if you must, but you will grow weary long before I do!” I boasted, and not without cause as somepony who’s actually gone for days on end.

“I might hold you to that, Rose,” he said with a grin, wiping his face clean. 

My heart leaped. Do I really mean more to him than just one night? I couldn’t be entirely sure due to our circumstance, and I dreaded to ask him, but hope began to well up within me. I hopped down from the root and kneeled down on my front hooves facing the water. “Rut me Stuntman...hard!” 

I heard him drop his pants and felt the rounded tip press up against my marehood. “Your wish is granted, my worthy prey.” He pressed into me slowly until I’d engulfed each delicious inch, before withdrawing and slamming into me again and again, before carrying us both over the edge.

He stayed hilted inside me, a prisoner of his own device, until I felt him go soft and withdraw. I zipped myself back into my dress, and looked out into the trees — somehow we’d gone unnoticed. 

“We’ve got a long night ahead of us, Rose.” Stuntman said huskily, zipping himself back into his pants. His bulge telling me he was already prepared for another round.

“And Ihave a comfortable bed we can spend it in. If you can keep from feasting on me for that long, you ravening beast!” I gave him a good view of my prize with a flag of my tail.

“I make no promises, little pony!” He licked his lips and resumed the hunt, chasing me all the way back to the hotel. Well almost, he did catch me once when he found me hiding inside of an empty carriage. I prayed to Celestia it didn’t belong to one of Lily’s relatives…
> Gentleman's Agreement
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I awoke in a familiar, and most desirable state: my face buried in my Gentleman’s chest, listening to the sound of his slow, rhythmic breathing as we lay tangled together in the hotel bed. Warm, muggy air poured in through the balcony window, the sky having morphed from black to dark blue. I could hear the sound of birds chirping as they heralded the coming of dawn.

Time to start prepping the flowers, I thought to myself sarcastically, unable to defy my infernal, internal clock. I lay awake for awhile just enjoying his warmth and the smell of his musk; my hunter had had a good workout with me last night, rutting me again and again with seemingly endless fortitude. I was going to be sore, but satisfied, for the rest of the day.

The day… he’d be leaving me again in an hour’s time. I felt butterflies in my stomach as I considered what needed to be done. Adjusting my neck upward, I gazed upon his ruddy, handsome face, seeing he was smiling as he slept. 

Despite his obvious enjoyment of his time with me, doubt began to creep into my thoughts. Was I really the object of his happiness, or just another satisfied customer? I cringed thinking of myself in line, buying flowers from my own stand with Stuntman behind the counter, dealing with an endless stream of needy and difficult clients just wishing to reach the back of the line so he could take a fifteen-minute break.

That’s ridiculous! Came still another voice within my mind, refuting the other. He gave me his card and a discount so I could see him again that much easier. If he did that with all of his mares, he wouldn’t be able to eat.

If he liked you that much, he’d have just asked you out like the women from his world, my negative side retorted.

Unless he wanted me to do it first: to respect Equestrian traditions and allow me the chance to pursue him romantically. I felt my doubts begin to slip away once more. And this is why I always win!

I gave his right nipple a long, slow lick prompting a surprised gasp from my gentleman in repose. Wow, he’s really sensitive there! I filed that information away for future use.

“Good morning to you too, Rose!” Stuntman responded hugging me tight around the middle and unleashed a flurry of kisses up the length of my neck, returning my favor.

“Compose yourself, Stuntman; if you keep rutting me, you might never be able to settle for second-best.” I rolled on top of him and thrusted forward letting the short hairs of my pale yellow coat tickle his body — he shivered with delight. I felt his stiffened member poke me in the belly. Lyra’s advice comes through for me again! Is there anything that mare doesn’t know about humans?

“You’re not kidding, Rose! Are you going to make me beg this time?” He shivered again as I gave him another thrust.

“I just want to ask you a few questions before you fly off into the sky to give another mare the night of her life.” I gave my lips a slow, seductive lick.

“You certainly have ways of making me talk!” the Gentleman said smoothly, wiggling his eyebrows at me in his signature fashion. “You may ask me whatever you wish.”

I stood up on all fours and looked down at him, drawing strength from my position of authority, and choked down the anxiety that was threatening to resurface. “First, I want to know if you have a marefriend  — somepony you’re holding out for.”

Stuntman looked serious for a moment. “Seems you’re after more than my rank and serial number huh?”

“Your what!?”  I snapped at him, perhaps a bit too loudly. I reminded myself he was probably just being silly again. Clearing my throat, I spoke again more gently. “What I meant to say is, whatever do you mean?” 

He gave me an appraising look. “We’re making progress already, not a single punch thrown in anger!” 

I grinned sheepishly, remembering my unprovoked attack from our first encounter. “S-sorry!”

Stuntman reached up with both hands and began to massage my belly, parting the fur with his fingers with practiced manipulation. “It was a joke of sorts. when a soldier was captured on earth, back before we stopped using serial numbers, he was only required to give his name, rank, and serial number to his captors — a rule established by the Geneva Convention governing the rules of war. Today it's just name and rank, though most of my home country's enemies don't hold to any civilized code.”

“Rules of war?” I wasn't sure whether or not to be relieved that at least war was organized or disturbed that war was so prevalent as to require rules.

“To prevent war from going too far. We hold to the idea that life should turn back to normal as quickly as possible when hostilities have ceased, and set in place internationally recognized rules called the Geneva Convention regarding the treatment of war prisoners and captive populations. It outlaws torturing or starving captured soldiers for information, for example, and orders punishment against those who would. .”  

My ears splayed back against my head. “Humans torture others of your kind? That's unthinkable to me! You're such a... good person…”

Stuntman looked at me sadly, continuing to message me. “Well not me personally or my parent nation, but there are people and regimes desperate or evil enough to do so as a means to an end. We're not proud of that fact, but recently on earth, people are talking about it more, and working to end it.”

I shook my head sadly. “We've had our share of torture from the likes of Nightmare Moon, and King Sombra, but this was so long ago that nopony alive, save for our Princess Celestia were alive to see it. We've never needed any such rules to survive. Your species carries a terrible weight of responsibility that it must confront such a threat.”

Richard nodded solemnly. “We do, but so long as I'm living, I'll work to make things better for my new home — to pay back your people's trust and kindness, however, I can.”

“You are a great, big sweetheart, Stuntman…” We embraced each other, my mind racing from everything he'd said. Can humanity be all that dangerous when even one of their warriors spoke so passionately for the virtues of peace?

After breaking our hug, he looked at me again, his face smiling once more. “As to your previous question, I am currently single.”

Dare I hope for the best? I plowed forward, “but you do have favorite clients I’m guessing. That’s why you gave me a discount!”

He nodded. “Most gentlemen have favorites that match their tastes. Me? I’m quite partial to mares with a certain love for danger and excitement like yourself!”

I felt my heart skip a beat at his admission. So far so good, Rose. Don’t screw up! I reminded myself, brushing the forelock of my mane away from my eyes out of nervousness. “Have you considered settling down with one?” 

Stuntman continued to run his fingers through my coat, his expression polite but neutral. “I’ve had many girlfriends back on Earth and a few marefriends here in Equestria as well. I’ve never been married or even kept a relationship going for more than six months; I grew up in a military family and we were constantly on the move. You don’t keep romantic or even platonic relationships for very long when you’re a serviceman.” His expression went sad for a moment.

My ears drooped at his confession and the genuine pain in his eyes. How can anypony live such a life? “I can’t even imagine! I’m still friends with everypony I knew in school. I’ve lived in Ponyville my entire life, and I don’t know what I’d do without my friends.”

“You learn to make new ones. It isn’t the life for everyone though, and you have to learn to let go.” He sighed, but his handsome smile never faltered. “I suppose one day I’ll settle down, set up roots and enjoy life on the ground, but the sky has been the only constant thing in my life. And in all honesty... I need it, Rose. I may not have wings, but it’s a part of me as much as any pegasus.”

I considered my next words carefully. “I’m not asking you to give it up. I just think you’ll find life on the ground has much more to offer than you realize, Stuntman.” I grazed his groin with my tail, watching his eyes to admire the effect. I was so close, I could taste it! “Flowers need the sky, but also have to stay rooted in order to bloom, too.” I was proud of myself for coming up with the analogy.

He smiled at that, reaching up to run a hand through my mane. “If I were a betting man, Rose, I’d say you could bring anyone out of the sky,” he said with a longing in his voice that sounded out of place for the self-assured human.

“Oh?” I gently massaged his chest with my forehooves, allowing the gentle suction to have the desired impact as I prepared my finishing stroke. “Perhaps even you, great hunter? Am I truly the mare that can bring you down from Mount Olympus and have you walk amongst mere mortals?” I struck a Shakesponian tone, proud of my knowledge of human mythology.

Stuntman snickered. Then he sat up and looked at me, suddenly serious. “I do like you, Rose, and… I would like to give you that chance, but I must give you fair warning: I’m still a Gentleman, and I can’t just up and quit. You’re a wonderful mare Rose, and I don’t want to give you any false expectations.” 

My brow furrowed, suddenly remembering some of the uglier rumors I’d heard about G4M. “You can’t quit? I hope you don’t mean you’re doing this against your will or something…”

He shook his head hard. “No, I mean I’m under contract for the next year, and I stand to lose a lot of money by breaking it; the rent on my Manehatten apartment isn’t cheap either.” He took my right hoof in both hands, gently rubbing the short fetlock stubs that had grown out. 

I had a sudden moment of self-consciousness about the fact I’d let them grow out like that, quickly replaced by the implications of what he’d said. Of course he had his own life and responsibilities to think about, and it was foalish of me to think otherwise. He couldn’t just move right in, and Manehatten was hundreds of miles away. He could also have a hundred marefriends already for all I know...

He must have read the look on my face accurately because he continued, “Rose, don’t take this the wrong way, but I can’t help but ask… are you sure a guy like me is really what you want?” 

“Yes!” I stomped my hoof down onto the bed, provoking a stunned reaction from Stuntman, perhaps worried that he was about to get punched again. “Listen, I’m not new to stallions, Stuntman. Men definitely, but not stallions; I know the difference between a serious relationship and doing your job,” I sighed. “I’d sure rather be getting paid to do your job than mine, but that’s a different story.”

Stuntman laughed in amusement and relief. “I hear that a lot, and I don’t doubt it! It’s a good life, even if it’s not perfect and not for everyone. I really do see myself retiring one day and settling down though, but for now, the reality is even we do get into a relationship, you won’t be able to see me every day or even every week. I’ll be all over Equestria doing what I can to make mares happy. If you really do want to do this though... I will make time to come and see you so we can spend time together.”

“I trust you, Stuntman,” I said plainly, my eyes watering and heart leaping, my very spirit doing somersaults in midair. “I know that you’ll remember my face no matter who you’re with, and I know you’ll come back to me.” I gripped him tightly, praying to Cadance herself to intervene on my behalf. 

He kissed me deeply. “Please, call me Richard from now on, Rose. I trust you to not tell others of my real name. There are ponies out there, and people for that matter, who don’t really approve of my occupation. Gentlemen have already been exposed, and I don’t want to be one of them.”

I nodded. “Your secret is safe with me, ree-kard!” I repeated, pronouncing his name with the strange accent as he had.

I didn’t want to believe I could have won him so easily. The most beautiful and sought-after man in Equestria wanted to give me the chance of a lifetime to keep him warm and safe. Well, maybe not safe if really wanted to keep flying… I’m sure I can negotiate him down on that later, I assured myself confidently. 

“Thank you, Roseluck. Shall we wash up before I go?” He gestured towards the bathroom.

“Aww, I like the way you smell!” I teased.

“Well I do have to think about the best wishes of my boss, too; she’s coming to pick me up and has to smell me all the way back to Manehatten.” He went for his bag and got a change of clothes. 

“How very considerate of you, handsome!” I climbed out of bed and opened the door for him. “Shall we?”

“Surely!” After a brief stand-off at the door waiting for the other to enter first, we laughed and he settled on carrying me inside so we could both go first. Sometimes I curse my Equestrian politeness streak.

I didn’t get the sex in the shower I’d been expecting, taking me by complete surprise. That’s not to say the experience was unwelcome though. For the most part, my meetups with stallions follow a predictable course: I get their attention, we go for foreplay if he’s into that sort of thing, and we rut until he gets tired and goes to sleep. There’s an unwritten rule among mares that even if you’re just in it for the fun, you do have to work to be as good as possible at pleasing your stallion. This isn’t to say that all stallions are awful, oppressive jerks, but that it’s bordering on the impossible to have one tend to you the way I was that morning. 

Instead of a shower, he drew me a bath and worked his magic on me with his fingers, washing and rinsing away the scent of the stale remnants from our night of passion. I was astonished to find such modern features as a detachable shower head which used to go over one part of me at a time. His skill with the brush was also on display, as he worked out the tangles and brushed them straight without a single broken strand. I thought he was done, but he shook his head with a smile and finished up by massaging my back, working the kinks out of it from all the work I’d done the previous week. 

“Do you ever tire of making me feel beautiful, Richard?” I asked, turning to face him after he messaged the last of my stiff spots, gently pounding on it to break the tension before stroking it away with his fingers.

“It’s not a task that requires effort, but a privilege to be enjoyed, my little pony.” He kissed me gently on both sides of my muzzle.

I resisted the urge to dance at that knowing our time left was short; it was only minutes until the sun came up according to the clock on the table. “When will we see each other again, Richard? You aren’t even gone yet, and I already miss you!”

He thought about that for a moment. “I should be able to make time in two weeks, but I’m not certain on the day just yet.” Richard took out one of his Gentleman calling cards and wrote down two phone numbers on it. “The top one is to my apartment, but I’m only really there in the morning and I’m usually sleeping. The second number will let you leave me a message at my work. I’m not very predictable as far as when to call me, so I’ll make the effort to call you whenever is best for you.”

Such a noble stallion he is! “Anytime after 6 P.M. is fine for me so I don’t tie up the line for customers trying to call us up.” I gave him my number in return.

We exited the bathroom just as the sun rose up into the sky — time’s up. After one last kiss goodbye — our first as a real couple — we bid each other farewell. I watched from the balcony as he climbed into his chariot still elated at the prospect of having such a wonderful companion. I was on top of the world, and everything was going to be totally awesome. I checked out of the hotel, picked up a train back to Ponyville and back into reality.
> A Tale of Two Mares
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

After an uneventful and rather carefree return trip from Shady Hollows, I came home that evening to Daisy out of town on a delivery and Lily holding down the fort in her absence. Intent on seeing the damage firsthand from my being absent for two whole days, I put my belongings away and went back downstairs to see how Lily was faring. Upon entering the greenhouse, I noticed only half of the floral arrangements planned for tomorrow were done, and Lily looked to be wearing the contents of an entire bag of humus. Despite having an awful, busy day, she’d never looked happier as she greeted me with a cheerful ‘hello’. 

“Lily smiling? There has to be a story behind that!” I joked, grinning in such a way as to let her know I was being friendly. She’s very sensitive about being made fun of.

“Well, I’m sure you’ve noticed how much of Golden Harvest we’ve been seeing lately. Just yesterday while you were gone, she asked me to be her marefriend and I said yes!” Lily reared up and gave a series of adorable hoof kicks and audible squee that gave me the impression of a filly on Hearth’s Warming Eve.

“That’s wonderful Lily! Is Daisy going to be out all night?” I wanted to see the look on Daisy’s face when I introduced her to the tall, handsome Gentleman.

“Yeah, she won’t be back until tomorrow.” Lily gestured behind her at the rows of plants in the greenhouse. “I’ve gotten a bit behind on work as you’ve probably noticed.”

When’s the last time these plants have been watered since I’ve been gone? I thought to myself, noting how dry the soil was. Helping myself to a watering can, I went to work helping Lily to re-pot the orchids. “Sounds like my little Lily is finally ready to blossom, herself!” I grinned, pointing at the flowers in her pot, pleased with my choice of metaphor.

“Oh I’ve been hearing it from Daisy, believe me!” Lily groused, her smile dropping.

“Did Daisy also mention how it’s perfectly natural and quite beautiful for a mare to find pleasure in the company of another?” I replied, my exasperation with Lily’s frigidness evident as I spoke. For Harmony’s sake Lily, try to enjoy yourself just a little!

She frowned at me in reply.

“Lily, I really hate to pry, but seriously what’s this all about? You’re clearly into each other, so what’s the hangup? 

“Rose, do you really want to be stuck here all night? Let's just finish the work so we can both go to bed.” The formerly happy mare looked dejected, even fearful of taking the conversation further.

I can’t believe it! Even now when she’s on the threshold of actually getting some, she’s still creeped out by the topic of sex. “Lily, we’re going to be here all night regardless of whether or not we talk. Am I wrong about that?”

Lily hung her head, in defeat. “No.” She raised her head back up and pointed at me with her right forehoof. “I can ask you to leave though!”

I gestured back at her with my watering can. “Fat chance! You’ve got ten hours worth of work to do in here at least. Now you can tell me what’s on your mind and we can get this done in half the time, or you can spend the rest of the night covered in dirt. Your call.”

My vanquished friend finally relented; putting both of her forehooves up in mock surrender. “Fine! I’ll let you stay, but I fail to see the purpose of talking about… well, you know... ”

“Sex!” I shouted proudly. "The highest form of art in all the known universe!"

“Ungh!” Lily brought her forehooves to her temples as she is wont to do in moments of stress. “Yeah, that!”

“Lily, I just want to know one thing. Why do you get so uncomfortable about the mentioning of sex? Surely as intelligent as you are, the idea has popped into your brain that at some point this will happen between you and somepony else.” I refilled by watering can and moved to the table nearest Lily. 

Lily’s face now turned guilty. “Rose, it already has happened, and you know that!” She began sobbing.

I grimaced at the memory myself — fun though it was in hindsight, it certainly wasn’t the introduction to intimacy I would have chosen for her! I put a hoof around her shoulder, prompting her to begin sobbing harder. “I do know, and as I said before, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Being under Discord’s influence is not the same thing as what’s happening now. I don’t hate you for what we did, but I do hate to see what it’s doing to you! For Celestia’s sake, Lily, that’s not what sex is!” I said even as I admitted to myself grudgingly that Discord or no, it was a pretty awesome experience. I didn’t want to admit it to anypony but seeing how despondent she’d become over it, I wondered if I should make an exception.

Wiping the tears from her eyes, she brought herself under control enough to look at me, an expression of bitterness. “You should hate me, you know. I had a crush on you back then.”

That unlikely admission caught me off guard and I swallowed hard thinking of the implications. Had Discord been allowing her the chance to do what she wanted for his own amusement? Recovering from the shocking news, I got my head back on straight. “Lily, you may be a real stick-in-the-mud and not the sweetest mare I’ve ever met, but you’re not a monster! We were forced to do what we did, and the blame is on Discord, not you. There’s no need to hate yourself, or think that sex is always going to work that way.” 

Lily nodded sadly, still sobbing gently over her flower pot. 

I hesitated for a moment, before finally swallowing my pride. “For what it’s worth, Lily... I actually enjoyed our brief time together! It’s a moment we’ll always share, and I should’ve told you back then how I felt about it. I’m sorry you’ve held onto this for so long. Forgive me.” I bowed my head and ears.

This time, it was Lily who wore a shocked expression. “Rose… are you saying you actually enjoyed the company of a mare?” She looked up at me, disbelieving. 

“I enjoyed the company of you Lily, and that’s nopony else’s business but ours.” We embraced each other, all the tension between us slowly melting away as I held her tight, and saw, with delight, she finally stopped crying.

Lily finally smiled, relieved of her heavy burden. “I guess you’re right. I’m just scared, you know? Goldie — I mean, Golden Harvest — is the kindest, gentlest mare I’ve ever met and I don’t want to scare her away.”

"Oh, you!" I gave her a dismissive wave. "Lily, let me tell you something; if Goldie was going to be afraid of you she wouldn't have approached you in the first place. The only thing you need to worry about is being the best version of yourself you can be and the rest will sort itself out. You dig?"

Lily gave me an odd expression before reluctantly nodding her head. "That makes sense... assuming I can achieve 'Best Lily' and maintain that somehow..." 

Thankful I’d pulled her back from the brink of despair, I chuckled at her strange terminology — How does this gal's mind work, exactly? — and went back to watering the plants. Sure, helping my friend was priority one but I didn’t want to spend all night in this greenhouse either! "Well, at any rate, I don’t think Discord is going to be turning you into a sex-crazed love machine any time soon, being turned back into a statue again and all." I gave her a lewd wink. "Though, I don’t think you’ll need much persuasion to get Golden Harvest to roll with you in the hay! If anything, she'll be making the first move. She does seem to be the dominant type.”

Lily sighed. “I don’t get how you can be so nonchalant about sex, Rose. Committing to somepony like that is a huge risk!”

I should have seen this coming, yet another lecture about how I have too much stallion-related fun time. “It’s all a matter of what you're looking for, honestly. If you want a good rut, you go out there and find a stallion — or a mare in your case — who suits your fancy, you convince him you’re worth his time, and you both enjoy yourselves; it sure beats trying to work things out as a herd.” I felt my stomach churn as I thought of sharing a stallion with other mares. No filly should ever have to suffer through such deprivation! 

Lily rolled her eyes at me. “You enjoy sex waaay too much!”

I laughed at that. “You will too once you've had it! Just promise me you won’t weird out on Golden Harvest and lose your one chance to try something new and enjoyable. Do I have your word, Lily?”

She hesitated again. “If circumstances warrant such actions I’ll —”

“Lily!” 

She threw up her hooves. “Okay, okay! I promise.” She immediately turned towards her reflection in the greenhouse glass, examining herself silently. She took a deep breath and sucked in her belly before exhaling loudly. She gave her mane an experimental prod and took in her reflection from different angles. She slowly traced a hoof up her breast, feeling the way her fur parted. 

I knew what she was doing; she was starting to look at herself as something for others to see. She was conceptualizing what it meant to be desired and touched by another pony. It was like witnessing a pony awaken from a coma after being asleep for many years. It dawned over her slowly like sunrise in the foal mountains but I could see hope gradually replacing the fear in her eyes. 

“That’s better!” I clapped her on the back and thought of how proud Stuntman would be to see her overcome her fear and self-actualize right in front of me. Then I felt a pang of anxiety wondering what mare Richard would have crying out to Celestia tonight. 

Feeling ashamed at my sudden bout of jealousy, I spent the rest of the evening and well into the night, quietly working to fix up the mess in the greenhouse. Completely exhausted from lack of sleep the night before, I passed out in my bed around one in the morning without a shower, miserable and filthy. So much for a grand victory celebration.


*****


I woke up a few hours later at Rose o’clock and shambled my way down to the greenhouse more dead than alive. I was greeted by Lily who looked as dead to the world as I was, but she helped me set up the stall with the recently assembled flower arrangements. I couldn’t help but offer her a sleepy ‘thanks’ for her effort.

She hugged me in return, and nearly fell back asleep on my shoulder.

The cart was back in the greenhouse, meaning Daisy had made it back okay and we could expect breakfast when she woke up, but I would have gladly traded it for more sleep. The stall we load most of our flowers in is just a wheeled cart that was specially designed to display the flowers instead of moving supplies. There’s also a place for the salesmare to sit and keep the money we make that day. The stall is pushed around the greenhouse, loaded up with the flowers we need, and pulled outside, usually by me, where the wheels are chocked and covered up by fold-down panels. 

“Thanks again for helping last night.” Lily stifled a yawn. “I have a confession to make, Rose: if I wouldn’t have spent so much time with Golden Harvest yesterday, I wouldn’t have fallen so far behind,” she admitted sheepishly.

“I’ll be sure to call that favor back in as soon as I possibly can!” I muttered, a little grouchy as I pulled the loaded cart out to the front of the house. So much for Lily Valley: Employee of The Month. Is it too late to have the old Lily back? I gave the cart a quick buck after we put down the chocks; the panels fell into place on command. 

The lights in the kitchen were on by the time we made it back inside; we were greeted by the smell of brewing coffee. 

Daisy acknowledged us with a wave, wearing an apron that bore the words, kiss the cook. I’ll pass on that, thanks. “Morning, Rose, Lily. You two look awful! Did you both wind up at a Pinkie party or something?”

“If only I could be so lucky!” I wouldn’t be seeing any Pinky parties or the stallions that frequented them, in my future. “Lily and I were stuck with catching up on work in the greenhouse. It was a catastrophe of epic proportions.”

“Lily! This is not like you at all. Is somepony distracting you from your work? A certain filly catch your eye?” Daisy prodded, the corner of her mouth crooking up in certainty she knew the answer.

“See what I mean?” Lily mumbled to me miserably, her hooves going to the sides of her head again.

“What a way to spend your day back from your trip eh, Rose? So what were you up to in Hollow Shades? Seeing your Caneighdian friend perhaps?” 

“Actually I was… and he’s not from Caneighda!” I snapped.

Lily Valley laughed quietly into her hoof. So much for returning last night's favor!

Having told Daisy that my stallion is human and expecting to introduce him to others soon, I decided it was best to concede that point to Lily as well. Oh, she wouldn’t like it, but better to get the worst of it now while she’s still in a relatively good mood; at the very least, too tired to really get mad.   “Lily… the truth is, he’s not from Equestria or even Tellus,” I began, gathering my courage carefully as Daisy looked up in surprise. “He’s...actually one of the humans from the other side of the portal. I met him…”

“You had a human in my bed!?” Lily shouted, standing straight up and putting on her horrified look.

“Well… yeah.” I replied guiltily, absolutely spot-on about my fears.

Lily laid her head down on the kitchen table, covered her head with her forehooves and moaned in agony.

“Lily!” Daisy shook her spatula at the traumatized mare, a tone of warning in her voice. “She’s apologized enough for what happened.” Daisy looked happily at me again. “So how did you meet him? A friend of, Lyra, perhaps?” 

I’d weighed my options, and decided to go with just enough not to get trapped in a lie. I could only hope my prosecutor friend wouldn’t pick up any inconsistencies in my story. “Nope. He’s actually a — what did he call it? — a ‘stunt man’. He travels around Equestria and goes flying through the air lashed to a team of pegasi stunt flyers.” True enough as it goes, right?

“Really! I’ve never heard of anything like that before.” Daisy scratched her chin as she leaned up against the stove. “So he doesn’t actually live in Ponyville?”

“Nope.” No way in Tartarus would she buy that Ponyville’s gossiping mare population would simply ignore the detail of a man strapped to a team of pegasi in Ponyville. That would be ridiculous!

“How did you meet this mysterious man in the sky anyway?” 

Okay, Rose, you got this. “I met him through Rarity.”

Daisy smiled knowingly. “I wasn’t aware she was in the human matchmaking business. Makes sense I suppose given her difficult reputation…”

“So she doesn’t want to commit to a herd, big deal.” I dismissed her with a wave of my hoof. “I think a sophisticated mare like herself is justified in demanding the full attention of her stallion.” 

“Well, I’d kind of like to raise foals before I get too old, myself. The trick will be in convincing Dizzy to go along with trying stallions again.” Daisy sighed, shaking her head. “Well, that was certainly very generous of our Rarity! So he lives out of town?”

I figured a truthful answer here was safe, my face neutral as I spoke. “All the way off in Manehatten.” 

Daisy’s eyes widened in shock. “Manehatten!? How in Equestria are you going to maintain a relationship with somepony living in Manehatten?”

“Well we’ve got the telephone for when he’s away and he can just… fly over here.” I said lamely, thinking of his pegasus-drawn chariot. Humans just have those, right? I could feel the crud of a thousand seagulls began to rain and all of it was landing on me. I felt a trickle of sweat begin to run down the back of my neck. 

“He has his own private team of flyers that take him places?” Daisy cocked an eyebrow at me skeptically.

Oh seagull crud on me again! “He’s not really a big deal around Ponyville, sure, but in Manehatten, he’s quite the lark!” Celestia, banish me now...

Daisy looked to be in a trance for a moment. “Quite the lark…” She snorted and began to laugh. “That’s a good one, Rose! Did you get that, Lily?”

The exhausted mare awoke from her torpor with a start. “Get what? Food, where?”

Daisy grunted and rolled her eyes. “Alright, alright. I’ll get cooking! You two can both take the morning off and sleep. I can handle things well enough myself. Thanks for helping out last night, Rose, you really went above and beyond there!” Daisy beamed at me proudly. "Consider yourself Employee of The Month!"

“My pleasure!” I lifted a hoof to my chest, praising dumb luck for my salvation. “I’m not really that hungry, though. I think I’m going to take a shower and sleep now; I’m ready to fall over.” 

“I’ll take her’s, Daisy!” Lily Valley said, her stomach growling in agreement. 

Before Daisy could object, I started making my way to the bathroom.





“Hold on there, Star Employee! I'm not done with you yet!” Daisy shouted, her forehoof outstretched at me as I stood frozen with my hoof extended halfway to the doorknob — her face a mask of determination. The only thing hurting her case as a prosecutor was the spatula in her hoof, and that ridiculous apron. 

"Eep!" I froze.

Lily’s head perked up, and turned to face me with an inconvenienced look of, ‘now what did you do’?

“Y-yes, Daisy?” I put on my best attempt at an innocent face but could do nothing to stop the sweat from trickling down my body.

“This coltfriend of yours is from Manehatten and he has his own chariot.” I could see the wheels behind Daisy's eyes were turning.

“Yes,” I winced as her gaze bore into me. 

“Quite unusual for a human to have access to their own team of flyers. If I didn't know better I'd call it complete fantasy, but it's not fantasy, is it, Rose?" She waited for me to reply but my teeth were grit together so she continued. "I may be able to explain that for you... that Gentleman for Mares service is also based out of Manehatten!”

“Ngh!” I felt my stomach buckle as if I’d been punched. “H-how could you possibly know that s-sort of thing?”

“Oh don’t even try it, Rose! I’m following the articles in the Manehatten Post about the life of one of their trainers — some mare named Five Stars. You know you really had me going there for a while. ‘Stunt man’… Let me guess, is that his call name? At least you were somewhat honest about him being introduced to you by Rarity. Funny thing, she actually wrote into the paper the other day about her own experience with one...”

I stared at her blankly, forgetting for a fleeting moment that I was being grilled, my curiosity piqued. “There are articles about Gentleman for Mares in the newspaper?” 

Daisy shook her head and sighed. “Bit of an oversight when you were constructing your lie, eh, Rose?" 

I slowly walked over to the couch and collapsed into it, face down. “I… I don’t... read... the newspapers.” 

“Clearly. But I have to admit this mare, this... Five Stars, has had an interesting life,” Daisy said, her anger briefly forgotten.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t read the newspapers either. How did Roseluck screw up this time?” Lily asked with cold detachment.

“She hired a human from an escort company to come and rut her brains out after getting us away from the house through her Marechivellian machinations,” Daisy replied, irony dripping off every word.

It took a few seconds for the import of the words to fully register, but when they did, Lily’s expression of horror dwarfed anything she’d delivered before. “Arrrggh! I should have burned the whole bedroom!” she exclaimed, covering her eyes as if remembering the sight of her ruined room once more.

I can’t believe this mare has ever had the desire to rut me; I live in a crazy world. “Roseluck didn’t screw up anything!” I said, so angry I'd switched to speaking in third-pony. “I had a wonderful night, no, two wonderful nights with a tall, handsome stranger who gave me exactly what I craved! A man who didn’t judge me for being strange, and who treated me like royalty!”

Daisy facehooved. “Yes, Gentleman tend to be very nice to their clients. They also tend to be very good at sex with ponies. Do you know what they probably aren’t good at? Staying faithful to one! I’m surprised at you, Rose! You of all ponies should not be this taken in by an one or two encounters!”

“Rose, why would you of all ponies need to pay for… for sex?” Lily cringed slightly at the last word, all but squeaking it out. At least she was saying the word now.

Daisy’s reminder of Richard’s absence hurt, but I had to trust him. He put his name on the line, and paid service provider or no had gone well beyond the call of duty. Lily looked at me disbelieving, but with an earnest desire to understand evident in her eyes. “Lily, it’s difficult for me to explain, but there are some things stallions just can’t do for me. I’d say more but it’s very personal to me. There is a good reason, but I think you can appreciate that there are some things you just don’t talk about with others.” I maintained as neutral a tone as I possibly could, and was pleased to see understanding replacing uncertainty.

Lily nodded and looked down at the floor, silent and contemplative.

“Believe me, Daisy, I know how all of this looks. This is why I wanted to keep it a secret from you both. Well, I can’t now, and I need you to give me some measure of credit as a grown mare to see this through!”

“Nopony is questioning your age, Rose, but why are you doing this all of a sudden!? You seemed so… content with just messing around with random stallions. You’ve never had a nasty breakup or been taken advantage of by a stallion, and yet you casually cast all of us ponies aside for an alien from another dimension. One question, just one question is all I ask: What makes this human stallion so much better than all the ponies you’ve been with before?” Daisy plunked herself down in the recliner and beheld me with eyes furrowed, her forehooves held together.

A pregnant pause filled the room, as I found no answer to her simple question. As great as the sex was, it was only sex, and when it came down to it that wasn’t what had won my heart. I closed my eyes and made myself remember his courtesy and kindness; the way he actually listened to me talk about my boring life with genuine interest, and the simple satisfaction he took in making me happy. I thought of the sight of him flying off into the sky in his pegasi-drawn carriage, off for lands unknown, filled with untold dangers and unforgettable experiences, off to his next great adventure in life and love… but promising that ultimately, he would come home to me. I looked back up at Daisy’s face, whose accusing glare softened into a look of genuine concern. 

“Rose, I want you to know that whatever you decide to do, we’ll always be your friend, but I can’t just let you make such a decision without thinking it through. If you can’t answer the question, just look me in the eye, and tell me: Is this really what you want?”

I raised my gaze to her and did my best to do so. “To your previous question, I don’t feel comfortable answering, but it’s not just the sex or the fact he’s a human. You have to meet him to understand. Nothing else matters once you’ve heard him speak of his life and experiences: the places he’s been, the journeys he’s taken, the adventures he’s faced…” I shook my head in disbelief again at some the tales he told. “He’s lived the lives of a hundred ponies, Daisy, each more fascinating than the last. Yet, when he looks at me, I can’t help but believe that he views me as a fellow traveler — as an equal. Someone he’d want to spend his life with.” I closed my eyes again, shivering as I remembered how he’d kissed me for the first time as a lover.

My words and body language seemed to confirm my sincerity in Daisy’s eyes. “That’s reason enough for me, Roseluck,” she said tearfully, who walked over to give me a hug, joined soon after by Lily. I praised harmony to be blessed with such friends and I still do this day. We embraced each other tightly, until Lily’s stomach could take no more, and grumbled again.

We laughed even as we wiped the tears from our eyes. 

Lily Valley ate well that morning, and I finally got my first real sleep in days.
> Hitching a Ride
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Things went back to normal back at the flower shop very quickly, and I found myself back in my native element: sweating and covered in dirt while occasionally making nice with the customers. Oh, I didn’t have to work sixteen-hour days anymore, just the occasional twelve-hour day. For the first time in my life though, I was actually enjoying myself at work! True to her word, Daisy started organizing bi-weekly water balloon battles. Sadly for Lily, she only got Golden Harvest, or “Goldie” as she likes to call her, for half of the time. Taking advantage of the presence of so many wet mares congregated in one place, a number of Ponyville’s men, the ones who were perfectly okay with potentially hooking up with giving another species, formed their own team. Princess Twilight Sparkle herself showed up, and gave her blessing to our ‘friendship study’.

“I really appreciate you three taking the time to organize this event to make our human guests feel welcome here in Equestria!” the lavender alicorn beamed with pride as she addressed the saturated assembly of mares and men. “So far away from home, I can only imagine how overwhelming this must be for all of them.”

“We certainly aim to make life as pleasant as possible for our new allies,” I said importantly, still dripping wet.

Lily rolled her eyes at me and walked back inside muttering as the men gawked and stared at our princess. A few of them even kneeled! 

Twilight arched an eyebrow at me. 

“Don’t mind her, she hates to waste a bad day.” I stood on my hind legs and slung my forelock back with a sweep of my hoof, releasing a stream of water. A few of the men whistled at me, proving humanity was not only friendly but had good taste.

Twilight laughed nervously. “Well, you’re all certainly having a good time. I hope you all —” Her remark was cut off by a well-placed, particularly large and very wet balloon which exploded across her back, soaking her as much as the other mares. “Rainbow Dash!” 

Rainbow Dash popped up from behind a cloud and laughed. “Just making sure you look the part, Twilight!”

A volley of well-placed slingshot-fired water balloons from the humans compelled the cyan pegasus to abandon her cloud, as well as her dignity as she shrieked off into the sky with Twilight in hot pursuit, telekinetically carrying a bushel’s worth of liquid vengeance in a purple field of levitation. 

Linky gave the humans an appreciative nod. “Well done, human warriors. Yeh learn fast!”

“Remember to be back next week at the same time for another battle! Next week, humanity versus the pegasi!” Daisy helpfully reminded everyone who’d showed up.

A few of the pegasi mares cheered along with a muscle-bound pegasus stallion who shouted, “Yeeeeaaaaaaaaaaah!”

Thanks in large part to the water balloon fights and the subsequent dates they spawned, sales at the shop went up by fifty percent for the month; I’d have no trouble rebuilding my savings or even buying a new dress for when Stuntman came home to me. A couple of mares from the pegasi team even snapped up a pair of human men who were quite eager to learn more about Equestrian culture. A friendship study indeed!


*****


As I started working less, the stallions and even some of our new human companions started approaching me. Even as my estrus edged closer and closer — I experience mine once a month instead of the usual two to three months most mares do — I dared not violate Richard’s trust. He was only doing his job as a gentleman, but I would have to live with my infidelity. Still, as selfish as it is to say, it still broke my heart to cut them off. It sounds strange to some, but sex isn’t just a good time, but a way of expressing my individuality. 

As luck would have it, Daisy kept all of the Times articles and was kind enough to let me read them, starting with the account of her first herd, which I read the night after our group discussion. Despite everything looking promising, it ended in disaster. Oddly enough, Discord’s return had been a factor in the split, and I wondered how many other ponies had had an awkward sexual experience that day. 

Richard called me my second night back home. Thrilled I wasn’t forgotten, we spoke at length about ourselves, where we’d been, what our friends were doing, and when he was going to hurry up and get his butt over here already. 

“I’m still working on it, but we’ll have at least three days together soon, I swear!” He’d promised me.

After work each day for thirteen days, I’d cleared all of the articles except the most recent. There was one article I was saving for the first day of my heat cycle.

Which also happened to be the night of poor Lily’s trial...

Golden Harvest and Lily started spending more and more time together as the week progressed. It seemed the destruction of our best employee’s reputation was at hoof, as Daisy and I caught the two of them making out in the greenhouse on more than one occasion. After the third time, which had only taken a couple of weeks, poor Lily was sentenced by Daisy to manage the stall while I worked the greenhouse for a week. Sitting in the hot seat — in this case, the recliner in the living room —  I watched poor Lily’s reaction.

Lily, of course, was horrified by the news, rearing up and putting her hooves to the side of her head. “B-but I get nervous around other p-ponies! You know that!” 

“I’m sorry Lily, but we can’t have you performing ‘advanced friendship studies’ during business hours,” Daisy replied coolly.

Sitting next to Daisy on the sofa, I brought my hoof to my mouth to keep myself from laughing, succeeding only in having a chortle escape through my nose in the form of loud snort. 

Daisy and Lily shot me an exasperated look, but it won Lily no favors this time. “Roseluck will manage the greenhouse for the next week while you and Golden Harvest work your way through the honeymoon period. As happy as I am for you, I need you working more than ever to keep up with all of this business.”

Lily sighed. “Yes, ma’am…”

“Good. Rose, I’m heading to Dizzy’s. All of this talk about romance has got me in the mood! Try not to burn down the house down while I’m gone!”

“Yeah, yeah…” I dismissed her unfunny joke with a wave of my hoof and was about to make my way upstairs to my ice-cold bed when I noticed Lily leaving as well. “Hey Lily, good luck!” I gave her a roguish wink and the nastiest grin I could manage.

After looking at me with a mingled expression of sheer terror and a desire for vengeance, she settled on an undignified retreat out the door. 

That’s my Lily!


*****


Reading the latest Gentleman article which followed Five Stars’ and her third herd’s relationship, the phone rang. I snatched up the receiver and spoke, hoping for the best. “Hello?”

“Hello yourself, little flower!” came the low, slightly accented voice of Equestria’s finest pony stalker. 

“Richaaaaaard!” I squealed gleefully, dropping the phone to give my body pillow a hug in place of the real thing, while he laughed that good-natured laugh of his.

“Whoa, Whoa! You make it sound like I wasn’t going to call back! How are things back home?” 

“Everything’s great, Richard. I’ve been keeping myself soaking wet with the garden hose to withstand the oppressive heat of the day out here,” I said in my most sultry voice.

Richard exhaled slowly. “There’s truly no escape from your wicked temptations, is there?”

“Can’t let a man get too comfortable! In all seriousness, I have spent a great deal of time soaking wet over the past week. We’ve started team water balloon fights, and I must admit, humans, are very impressive on their two legs.”

“You should see us when we’re being chased by bears!” he joked. “Very impressive right up until we get caught, and that’s not nearly as fun as letting me catch you!”

He stole my joke! I vowed to make him pay for that later. “And what about letting Five Stars catch you?”

The line went silent for a moment. “Hoo-boy. Okay, how much do you know?”

No way! How could I possibly be this lucky? “Are you kidding me? I just found out about these articles in the Manehatten Times, and you’re telling me you’ve gone a round with her?”

“You could say that…” he said playfully. “She’s trained a good percentage of us Gentlemen. Some of us before we even started our first day on the job!”

A mare after my own heart! “I’m told you men aren’t used to the wiles of a cunning and resourceful mare. It must have been really exciting to discover you were trapped with no hope of salvation.” 

“A feeling we can both relate to, no?” he replied huskily.

My breathing went shallow as I felt heat spread throughout my body, readying itself for his touch; A touch that would not come this night. I suppressed a needy whine as estrus overtook me. “How long, will it be until I can see you again, Richard?”

“This Saturday, Rose; I’ve arranged a few days off so I can go see you. I want you to know this hasn’t been easy for me either, but I’m doing what I can to make time for us. You still want to do this… right?” 

The tenderness with which he spoke was so warm and sincere that I trusted him immediately. “Oh, Richard, of course, I do! Where will we meet?”

“I don’t suppose I could stop by your place? That is unless your friend isn’t waiting to buck me clear across town...”

“Don’t be silly. They’re very curious about you, and you’re more than welcome to stay if you haven’t already made accommodations.” Richard sleeping in my bed? Yes, please!

“As long as it’s no trouble. How much do they know about me?”

I fidgeted uncomfortably in my bed remembering my shameful performance two weeks ago. “I sorta told them about you coming in a chariot and I got cornered into telling them the truth.” I reactively bowed my head in submission to the empty room.

To my relief, he took in stride. “Don’t worry about it, Rose, what’s done is done. As long as they don’t spread the word or greet me with pitchforks, there shouldn’t be a problem,” he said casually.

I shook my head, subconsciously, still bothered by something when it hit me. “Richard, may I ask you a question of a somewhat personal nature?”

Sensing the importance of the question he dropped his carefree attitude. “If it’s really important to you, then please ask.”

“Well, I apologize for asking but I really want to know… have you been in any intimate relationships since becoming a gentleman?” I cringed as I spoke. “I only ask because I’ve never really been in a long-distance relationship before and wonder what it’s like.” I could almost picture him squirming in his chair. I was reluctant to ask about his previous relationships, but my curiosity needed to be answered. That, and I couldn’t get sex off of my mind at the time. 

There was a slight hesitation, but then he came through clearly and confidently. “I did have one. I’ll admit, the fact she was a pegasus made things easier since she could drop in on me every now and then, but it was still a lot of work and in the end, she decided to call things off.”

She'd dumped him? That’s crazy! “I’m so sorry! Did you two just grow apart?”

He gave a polite laugh. “I wouldn’t think you’d be too sorry!”

I ran a free hoof through my mane awkwardly. The man has a point. “You got me there.”

“To satisfy your curiosity, she wanted foals and decided to join a herd. Since there’s a good chance I’ll run into her again at some point, I should let you know she lives in Ponyville like you and works on the weather team. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve met her.”

I knew just about every pony in town but hadn’t heard any gossip on pegasi mares sleeping around with a human. I must be getting old! “You and a weather pony? Surely that would create a scandal! What’s her name?

“Blossomforth.”

My eyes went wide as saucers. My Gentleman had managed to hook up with the only mare in town who’s more dangerous at the stallion game than I am! I felt a mixture of respect and even a hint of fear. While I don’t consider myself a connoisseur of the female beauty by any means, Blossomforth was, and is, the most beautiful and graceful pegasus mare I’ve ever seen. Her pale pink coat almost glowed in the sun; her cerise and mint-green striped mane stood in stark contrast to even the most colorful pony, and immediately drew the eyes of all about. 

And once she had your eyes on her, the fur freckles and bright, blue eyes ground all remaining resistance to powder and cast it to the winds with a carefree wave of her delicate wings. If I had enough to drink, she could probably have me for the night — though I’d never admitted it even if Celestia herself had asked for the truth. Of course, this erotic tale of filly-foolery will never be told; not after I delivered her the only defeat she’d ever suffered from a stallion. One wild night at Pinkie’s, when I was a young mare of eighteen, I seduced her coltfriend into tucking me in and later rubbed her nose in it. I was a greedy and unprincipled little filly back then...

Richard’s voice cut into my reverie. “I know it must seem odd to you when I’m out sleeping with other mares, but I haven’t been sleeping with anypony, er, anyone else outside of work.”

“Of course you haven’t!” I said confidently. “I haven’t been seeing anypony else either. I miss you a lot, Richard, but you’re always worth the wait.” 

I could all but hear his relief on the other end. “You’re so sweet, Rose!”

“So a few days then?” My nethers jolted impatiently. Looks like bedtime is coming early for me.

“It’ll be over before you know it!” he exclaimed, no doubt being ironic.

“I guess this is goodnight then, monster. Will you be kind enough to stalk me in my dreams?” 

I could just see him grinning in my mind’s eye, his pointy incisors glinting by candlelight as he spoke. “Count on it, My Little Pony!”


*****


When all hope for stallion companionship is lost, there’s always doing it yourself. You could say the Equestrian civilization was built on the backs of mares with three hooves to the ground and one between her thighs. The nearly five to one ratio of mares to stallions has made the need to cool down from estrus an ongoing struggle — one I’m sadly familiar with. Oh, I can chase the elusive male as well as any other mare, better than most in fact, but even I can’t always have a happy ending.

I shut the window to the room; no use in letting the entire town hear me moaning even if I had the entire house to myself again. I lit up the room with cherry-scented candles to set the mood and wound up the disc phonograph. Lastly, and most necessary of all, I withdrew from the top shelf of my closet an inconspicuous wood box containing the cooler: a lifesaver invention that simulates, to a rough approximation, the texture and feel of a stallion’s phallus. Since a mare can’t ‘cool’ off her heat without the discharge of seed, the cooler was designed to squirt an artificial substitute. 

Having removed the cooler from the box, I took out a white powder-filled cylinder and added water to the open end. Using the heat from one of my candles, I warmed it to body temperature, capped the open end, and gave it a vigorous shake. It would keep for at least an hour before beginning to cool down. One of ponykind’s greatest inventions! Satisfied with my work, I loaded the cylinder into the cooler and suction-cupped it to the wall behind my bed. Ideally, this is performed with another mare you're cool with called a “heat buddy” or a marefriend if ladies are what you’re in to. My heat buddy had become unreliable since she started seeing Dizzy, leaving me to cook up pseudo-stallion cocktail mixes in my bedroom like some second-rate alchemist. Alas, such is life.

I heard the front door open and cut the music. Lily and Daisy had only been gone two hours, so what was the deal? The mood I’d ramped up with the latest Five Stars article was dampened by the new arrival, frustration filtered in to take its place, leaving me even less ready to clop. I gave a needy whine. Focus Roseluck! I thought of Richard chasing me through the house and felt a pang of loneliness. Ugh, not going to work this time. I thought of my night of passion with Thunderlane; as hard as it is to admit, there is something sexy about the thought of sleeping with another mare’s colt, even to this day. 

Silence downstairs. Well, whoever it was could mind their own darn business! I ground my hoof into my aching blossom until it was saturated with my fragrance — my breathing becoming ragged. My nose twitched with the memory of his scent, a spicy smell unique to pegasi sweat. I remembered him trying to flap his wings to generate thrust, but the young stallion hadn’t managed to overcome his stiffened wings as I lapped at his shaft and balls. Still, he needn’t have bothered, he was packing more than enough to satisfy…

As I was sure Blossomforth could attest to now.

“Oh come on, Rose!” I whimpered to myself. The feeling was wonderful, but try as I might I couldn’t bring the full weight of my imagination to bear. I punched my body pillow to let out my frustration. 

I heard the gentle sound of hoof clops in the upstairs hallway and the sound of a door opening. The pink and red hairs along the crest of my mane stood straight up. Lily and Golden Harvest. No, it can’t be! Lily is more afraid of sex than parasprites, bunny stampedes and ursas combined! Newfound confidence or no, There was no way in Tartarus she would or could be doing this with me here.

Unless Linky and Twinkleshine had claimed Golden Harvest’s house for the night. No mare or stallion would willingly occupy the same house as those two once Linky gets riled up if the rumors of marebarian roleplay are true.

I felt a growing sense of dread and even guilt. Would I be robbing her of her first time... again? I marveled at the seeming contradiction of terms. Hearing the door open I turned the music back on, volume low but just enough to give the pair some privacy.

Quiet conversation filtered through the walls. I could make out parts of it and my name was brought up several times but the pair were being deliberately quiet, likely assuming I was asleep. I knew what was about to happen and felt an empathic link to my equine sister grab me by the tail and drag me down, down, down inexorably into the open maw of carnal desire. My friend was about to get rutted and I could feel her excitement deep within my very soul. 

I wasn't going to touch myself to Lily. It would be unforgivable. I went back to the articles and read on as the conversation is the next room would down and I heard the sound of Lily's husky feminine voice speaking above the din of the phonograph...

“Goldie, I’m ready for you!” Lily cried out rapturously.

Then I heard it: the most beautiful little squeak to have ever been uttered by ponykind, and then another. Soon Lily’s room was filled with the serene sound of Lily's maresong filling the entire house, my head swimming. My nethers began to expand, waiting eagerly to be filled by another.

Oh, if the Summerlands were filled with such a glorious sound! I felt my special flower begin to weep anew as I dug into it with a practiced hoof, suppressing the urge to moan myself and as much to hear Lily's siren song as to keep my unwanted presence from intruding on their night of love.

I closed my eyes and somehow I saw them clearly; even movement, every touch: ‘Goldie’ teasing dear Lily with her tongue while she teased her teats with the soft part of her forehooves — one hoof between her thighs vigorously stoking her own fire.

Lily was on her back of course, all the more exciting to see the desire in Goldie’s eyes; the orgasm building deep inside of her steadily, as Goldie put all her years of practice in pleasuring mares to good use. 

My hoof was not enough. Placing the pillow on its side, I thrust my entrance across its edge repeatedly, each swipe sending electric surges of pleasure throughout my body. As the cadence of Lily’s moans and the squeaks of her bed began to quicken, I felt myself on the verge of orgasm. Biting down on the end of the pillow in a desperate bid to muffle the impending scream; I came hard enough to make my eyes cross, a muffled, neighing whine having escaped my lips. 

In the other room, the action continued unabated until Lily finally climaxed with a blissful song that could banish the chill of the windigos.

I could see it so clearly in my mind’s eye, Goldie accepting her offering with a swallow — the excess coating her muzzle and torso. Her eyes taking in the beautiful mare she had shared her love with pride and immense satisfaction.

No sooner had I came when I felt my body began to heat back up. I drank the glass of water on my nightstand to quench my sudden thirst. The little pony inside my head pointed me back toward my toy box where I’d stashed away another cooler, which I mounted to the wall next to first. As the action in the other room began to pick back up, I inserted the tip and thrusted myself back into it. I was in no hurry to cool off now. I savored the aroma of the candles, the warmth, and stickiness of the heavily perfumed air and the sound of the two mares in the other room whose need for one another vicariously satisfied my base urges. 

The two of them were moaning together now; Lily’s melodic, high-pitched, quavering squeal serving as an erotic counterpoint to Goldie’s deeper moan. No doubt, the two had switched to a double-ended cooler.

“Yeh're doin’ great, Lily! By the stars, yeh're wonderful!” Golden Harvest exclaimed. “I can feel it coming! Harder, Lily! Harder! I need you!”

“Yeeeees!” I heard Lily scream as I quickened my own pace, determined to climax at the same time in what, as far as I knew, nopony had ever tried before: a simultaneous three-way, voyeuristic climax. But if anypony can manage it, it’s us! I assured myself, summoning every ounce of strength in all four legs and hips into hilting the enormous, pseudo-stallion member repeatedly.

I heard them both go off at once, and sent one last thrust into the loaded cooler, emptying its contents into me as I felt my throat scrape from the piercing cry that tore from me, unfettered, the cooler doing its work of filling me to the brim with white, warm, gooey seed. I rode my orgasm for the better part of a minute before collapsing to the bed and rolling over on my side, utterly spent as I dimly realized the house had gone dead quiet. Not the sound of gurgling water pipes nor the throes of passion between mares, just an eerie, lingering silence. 

I could take it anymore and spoke through the wall. "Eheh, sorry in there! Um... I'll just be... very quiet now." 

From the other room, I heard the slow clopping of hooves. “Oi, Rosie! I’m glad it was good for yeh too!” Golden Harvest called to me.

“Rose… I’m far too happy right now to ask why in Tartarus you just did that, so I’ll let this one slide.” An out of breath Lily gasped at me through the wall.

“Thank… you…” was all I could manage. Too exhausted to feel shame and too content with myself to move a muscle, I fell asleep where I lay. As I drifted off into a dreamy sleep, I resolved I’d apologize to anypony offended later... after I thanked Luna personally.
> The Second Great Disaster™
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

While my interruption may have come as something of a surprise to Lily, it did nothing to stifle her fecundity. The two of them were back at it within hours and so was I. Oh, my bed was going to be a wreck, but the shop was closed tomorrow; I was sure I’d find time in my day to clean up. After repeating the process of waking up to clop shamelessly to my roommate no less than three times, I finally got up very late around nine. No waking up at Rose o’clock this time since I was already awake. That’s one way to beat the system!

As usual, Lily had woke up first and beat me to the bathroom to wash up. Daisy still wasn’t home yet, so I brewed up some coffee and sat down to cold oats and milk. Awake fully from the stimulating effects of fresh coffee, I felt a hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach began to surface as I considered my humbled state: busted in dramatic fashion getting off to my virginal friend and co-worker’s first time out of the gate. Truly, this is rock bottom; I imagined the gates of tartarus opening to receive me, unwashed and covered in my own love stains. 

Why does it always have to be Lily Valley? I sighed, forehooves behind my head, and stared down at the dregs of my breakfast — the shame of it all indelibly hitched to my subconscious — wondering what to say to her and Golden Harvest when they finished. With the only bathroom in the house taken and needing it myself, I suffered in silence.

I didn’t have long to wait. Golden Harvest greeted me with a cheshire smile, while Lily Valley busied herself with looking anywhere but at me. Oh, I’ve been there, sister! I hoped she felt at least half as awkward as I did.

“Top o’ the morning to yeh, Rosie!” Golden Harvest greeted me, her imposing, orange mane tamed down with numerous curlers. 

I wasn’t about to meet my fate in this condition. “Hold that thought, Rosie needs a bath now!” I launched myself at full speed into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I heard voices behind me and paid them no mind. I was going to scrub, lather, rinse, and detangle every glorious inch of my body before I spoke another word to anypony.

Alone with my thoughts, a new unpleasant visitor took up residence in my subconscious, guilt, to join my companions shame and loneliness. Caught in-between the barrage of negative emotions, I’d be forced to bargain with them. 

What’s wrong with Lily Valley? Sure the mare can be unpleasant, but she’s awfully cute. Not to mention the sheer hotness of being forced to listen to her release over two decades worth of loneliness in the sexiest way imaginable. Surely, there’s no reason to be ashamed of such a display of empathy on my part… right?

My guilt responded forcefully — I’d stolen from her. Taken one of the most precious moments of her life, and used it in the cheapest way imaginable. 

Tears began to spill freely down my muzzle, my sobs drowned out by the crashing water of the shower. What must other ponies think of me seeing me go to pieces after a couple weeks without Richard, and what does this mean for our long-distance relationship? Am I just too bent to ever give myself to one stallion? Will I be a damaged mare doomed to chase down cheap flings until I’m no longer beautiful enough to win a stallion for the night?

Am I some kind of a freak? Perhaps the reason Lily has been so reluctant to make friends has been worrying that she’ll turn into me: a sex-crazed filly without any self-control. A needy pang from my nethers seemed to cast its vote in the affirmative. 

I was skeptical about that; the truth is she’s probably been guilty of avoiding others long before coming to Ponyville. It would be vain to suggest that I had so much influence over her life. In the end, the decision to give another pony a chance was hers and hers alone. 

Still, I couldn’t take back what I did. This felt even worse than what I did in her bed, knowing what I’d done could not be replaced as easily as a couple of sheets; but even if I am the lowest form of pony life for what I did, I had to, at the very least, acknowledge what I’d done. I turned off the shower, dried off — refusing to so much as glance at the full-length mirror in disgust — to try to make things right. I knew it was impossible, but I owed her that at least.


*****


The two of them were eating cereal when I came out. Golden Harvest was no longer smiling but fixed me with a look of concern. Lily seemed to be in a daze, still refusing to look at me.

“Rosie, yeh look terrible. Are your heat spells usually this awful?” Golden Harvest scooped up some ice from the icebox, put it in a bucket and slid it over to me to sit on. It was a different means of ‘cooling off’ from a heat, but one that could help temporarily.

It was still more than I deserved, but I couldn’t complain about any display of goodwill given the circumstances. “Thanks,” I shuddered as the chill hit me, followed by a deep soothing sensation. “I needed that. Lily, Golden Harvest, I need to answer for what I did back there…”

“Not to me, Rosie. I can smell your heat all over the house. You were cooking alive last night weren’tcha?”

“Still am, actually.” I adjusted my seating position, gasping as the biting cold worked its way into uncharted regions. “That’s still no excuse though. Lily, I can’t even explain myself; I’m so sorry for what I’ve done — both of you. I’m such a pervert!” I couldn’t contain the tears with my temporary dam any longer. I sobbed into my two front hooves as I sat on my bucket, cursing my drive to constantly mate, just wishing I could be a normal mare. Lily doesn’t deserve this; to be saddled with such an awful roommate.

I felt the tickle of a shaggy hoof stroking my back and looked up into Golden Harvest’s green eyes which were now focused on her marefriend. “Lily, I cannae condemn a mare for wanting what we had between us last night.”

Lily sighed, shaking her head. “It’s always me! I can’t get away from Rose and her…” Lily swallowed hard and faced me, a look of anxiety mixed with determination etched into her face, “... insatiable lust for sex, even when she doesn’t like mares! It’s as if the stars are conspiring to remind me of how I used to have a crush on her.”

Even in my miserable state, I couldn’t help but feel proud for her courage; the old Lily would never have confessed this to anypony preferring to stay locked up inside her own head. “Lily, you didn’t have to admit that. I’m so sorry for everything! All I can say is I didn’t plan on thinking about you last night. I was alone and needed to… relieve myself, when you both came home. I-I couldn’t help it!” There I go again, trying to pass the blame. I cringed internally, and added, “n-not that it’s your fault or anything. I just heard the sound of your moaning and I…” 

“I see…” Golden Harvest cut me off mercifully, giving my mane another ruffle. “Yeh poor thing, Lily’s told me about yer coltfriend being away. I have to admit though... I’ve never thought you to be the type for worrying about long-term relationships, let alone getting into one.”

What remained of my pride now seeped to the bottom of my ice bucket. My inability to keep a stallion was apparently the stuff of conversation around Ponyville. I didn’t know why this had such a powerful effect on me to hear, as mares were bound to be jealous of me, but hearing it spoken so plainly cut me to the bone. “I n-never thought it either. And believe me, I didn’t mean to fall for him, but I have. I will not betray him!” I recovered some resolve at the memory of Richard’s face.

Golden Harvest smiled and gave me an affectionate nuzzle. “Yeh keep in that frame of mind, and yeh’ll be known as an honorable mare to the end of yer days, Rosie.” 

Lily got out of her seat and approaching me, extended a hoof in peace. “I’ll never know how I ended up getting stuck with you, but I can’t say I haven’t thought of you during heat, so... I guess we’re even,” she offered with a wan grin and slight blush.

I was going to need a bigger ice bucket to deal with the sudden news that Lily had been clopping to me, but I settled for returning the friendly gesture. It’s like talking to a brand-new Lily! “Neither of you hate me for what I did? Lily, it was your first…”

“Yeah, well, I like to think Goldie and I will get the chance to try again.” Lily looked at her marefriend with hooded eyes, “Right, Goldie?” she added in a seductive tone of voice I’d never heard from her before, one that set fire to my nethers all over again.

The carrot farmer replied nuzzling Lily’s ear, evoking a gentle moan from the latter. I could almost hear the cubes beneath me sizzling. I may never know why Lily has such an effect on me, but I’d sleep better knowing the two of them didn’t despise me — even if I still despised myself. “I don’t deserve as forgiving a friend as you, Lily.” My tears began flowing again.

“Rose…” Lily frowned at me.

“Yeh know, Rosie, there’s no shame in asking fer help with your estrus. If yer friend knows anything about mares, then he knows we’re always there for another mare in heat.” Golden Harvest said confidently, bringing one hoof to her chest.

“H-help?” My eyes darted over at Lily; That wasn’t the kind of ‘help’ I needed right now.

Golden Harvest gave Lily’s ear another gentle nuzzle. “Let’s help her, Lily.”

My blood began to both freeze and overheat as I considered the implications. Lily and I, with a cooler, her hooves touching my body, the sound of her moaning in my ear...

“Oh no! I-I can’t have you do that!” I stood up, backing away several steps, unbelieving what I just heard and the reaction it was causing within me. “I can’t! It wouldn’t be proper. Besides, I-I’m not really into m-mares and…” I cursed both the trembling of my voice and the inexplicable, appreciative tingling of my marehood.

Goldie saw my suddenly flush cheeks and laughed, even Lily actually giggled. “Rosie... you’re not worried yeh might enjoy it too much are yeh?” she gave me a sidewise, knowing grin.

Her words struck home with deadly accuracy, and I began to panic. My dear Richard, gone for only a couple of weeks, and I find myself inexplicably aroused by my longtime roommate and her new fillyfriend. Am I going crazy? What am I supposed to tell him when he asks how I’ve been doing? Sorry, but you’ve been away too long and now I’m into mares? I couldn’t allow this to continue...

“Th-thanks but… no. Daisy will be back soon, and I may not have set the house on fire, but I’ve done enough damage for one day. I need to go clean up my room and get some air. It was a pleasure to meet you again, Golden Harvest —” I cringed slightly at my unintentional double entendre “ — but I hope you’ll visit us again. I-I have to go now.”

Lily looked at me miserably, her ears flat against the side of her head. “Rose, don’t be silly; Goldie only wants to help. I’m not so sure it’s a good idea if I do it though…”

“It’s okay, Lily.” Golden Harvest ran a hoof soothingly over her back. “I could do it myself if that makes yeh more comfortable...”

“No! No! It’s —” I backed up into the wall against the stairs, my heart beating a mile a minute, my body shaking and nethers now on fire again, the ice no longer having any effect. What’s happening to me!? I clutched my head like Lily always did.

Golden Harvest sighed heavily like she’d seen this song and dance before. “Rose... I know what yer goin’ through right now. I cannae help you with it unless you let me, but just know that whatever we do or don’t do, we’ll still be your friends on the other side of this.”

“Thanks,” I muttered miserably, dreading the moment that I would have to face Richard and forcing it to the back of my mind. As I turned to them one last time, climbing the stairs to my heavily soiled bedroom; I noted the look of sorrow on Lily’s face with confusion. Why was she wearing a sad look? Isn’t she glad I’m out of her mane now?


*****


I didn’t find peace with myself that day, but after a couple frantic clop sessions with me and my cooler to take the edge off again, trying, not always successfully, to think of anything but Lily and ‘Goldie’, I did spend a few hours worth of cleaning, and went to see Lyra for the first time in weeks, listening as her boyfriend, Sam, taught her how to play a stringed instrument he called a ‘guitar.’ Naturally, the musically-inclined mare was a quick study, already having used her magic to manipulate the strings of her lyre. 

We hung out for several hours and I told her all about Richard. It occurred to me to ask her why I was suddenly transforming into a shameless filly-fooler despite him, seeing as she’s enjoyed her fair share of mares — she was really into Minuette back in school — but the opportunity never presented itself. Still, she did give me some time away from the house and Lily, which I needed badly at that point.

The days began to drag at work, which is incredible given how scared I was to see Richard. My experience with dread has always made the days go faster. Lily and I seemed to have reversed roles in the aftermath of The Second Great Disaster™; I stalked the rows of plants in the greenhouse under a cloud, brooding, while Lily occupied the stall outside, enjoying the last days of summer. Suddenly she was the center of attention instead of me, even drawing a few whistles and catcalls from the stallions, men, and even mares. Though it was often just Golden Harvest who’d be passing by and just trying to cheer up the anxious mare facing the gauntlet of customers.

To solidify my new status as the next Lily Valley, it was I, not her, that looked away when our eyes met. For Lily’s part, she held to her usual meek personality, despite her time in the spotlight, and didn’t try to confront me until the day before Richard’s arrival. She came inside the greenhouse, as usual, to get some flowers for a customer she didn’t have on display. 

As I busied myself watering the plants, she surprised me by addressing me directly. “Rose, I just want you to know that the same thing happened to me all those years ago, and you’ll get through this.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lied, my face turned away from her so she couldn’t see my face scrunch up — I’m not a great liar.

I heard Lily sigh. “Goldie’s right about you.”

“Well, good for her!” I snapped, fuming at the reminder that ponies were whispering about the madmare of the greenhouse again. “Listen, unless you have something you need from me, I really need to get back to work.” I poured so much water into the pot I was working on, it spilled over the sides, making me if possible, even angrier.

“Fine,” I heard Lily’s hoof clops heading toward the door when they stopped. “You really should be happy to have somepony to talk about this, you know. I had nopony but myself back then, and it nearly drove me insane! We’re all on your side, Rose, you don’t have to confront this alone.”

I briefly considered telling her that the both of them could shove their opinions up their own rears, but there wasn’t enough fight left in me to bother. Instead, I picked up my watering can and just kept working. 

“Suit yourself, Rose. When you’re ready to stop being a royal pain in the rump and talk this out, we’ll be here.” Lily spat irritably before exiting the greenhouse, slamming the door.

And I’ll be here not caring, I didn’t say to her — the hoof holding the watering can, shaking. I spoke a silent prayer to Cadance to intervene on Richard’s behalf, only this way could I trust my heart would remain true to him. Confident nopony else was present, I began to cry until there no tears left to shed.





At the end of the day, I saw Golden Harvest show up, having completed her own shift at the carrot stand and greeted Lily with a hug and a kiss. I made myself turn away before I could have another episode. Before I could be bitter about this, I heard the door to the inside of the house open.

“Hey Rose, your special somepony is on the phone!” Daisy said in an annoying singsong voice.

Richard! I felt some of the tension melt away. I may not understand myself sometimes — and I was terrified to think of how my new coltfriend would react to my moment of weakness — but men and stallions are a known quantity I could handle. I rushed inside and thanked both sun and moon for the lifeline I’d been thrown. 

“Hello, handsome,” I positively oozed, into the living room phone, provoking a sarcastic snort from Daisy. “Quiet, you!” I pointed at the offending mare with an outstretched hoof and covering the receiver with my hoof. I got another laugh in return. No respect! 

“I’m coming for you, Rose!” came the voice of one Richard Eckhart, AKA Stuntman: Stalker of The Wild Mare. 

“Save it for when it will do the most good, sexy!” I replied huskily.

“Ooo, touché!” He said playfully. “I’m ready to go to Ponyville right now, but there’s a delay heading out of Manehatten due to a huge thunderstorm the pegasi decided on at the last minute. I won’t be able to make it until almost midnight.”

“Should have gone with the train, you can always rely on the ground to be there for you,” I suggested.

“Subtle! Actually, I would have, but that would have cut into my time off. Couldn’t miss even a minute of hunting my finest prey, don’t you agree?” Richard teased, his voice a perfect mix of playful and menacing.

I could already feel the impact of his teasing as my blood rushed down to my nethers in preparation for another night of fun, this time, one I wanted! “Quite astute, my savage friend! You’re as efficient as you are deadly.”

“Years of practice, mia signora, but I haven’t much longer to speak; the storm finally let up and I’m heading your way. I’ve got an entire week off to spend with you, and it would be a shame to waste any of it.”

I wasn’t entirely sure what meeya seenyora meant, but I was betting it was something very sweet and schmoopy-whoopy much like my human friend himself. “I’ll be waiting, Richard. Fly safely, and get here soon.” 

“Goodbye, little flower.”

“Goodbye.” I hung up, feeling a great wave of relief. At least I’d have him for another week, and I could still desire his company; neither Lily Valley or all the ponies in Equestria would change that.


*****


Everypony was asleep by the time he arrived at eleven that night — I’d been waiting by the window so he wouldn’t have to knock and wake them up. He looked tired, and travel-worn, but greeted me with a passionate kiss outside the door to the house. Oh, he wasn’t the dangerous man who’d greeted me with whip in hand so long ago, but the unmistakable gleam in his eye was still there. “Come, Richard, the hospitality of Ponyville, awaits…”

“Thanks for taking me in so late, Rose,” he whispered as we quietly walked upstairs with his luggage, which we loaded into my room. 

“Don’t mention it. Care for a shower before bed?”

Richard yawned sleepily, “Actually, it’s been a long day for me, I need some rest. I’ve been on the phone for much of the day lining things up for us to do. You get all those deliveries lined up with your boss?”

“Every last one!” I proclaimed ever so quietly, “You, me and Canterlot for most of the week!” 

“Excellent!” he bumped my hoof with his fist and we jumped into my bed, cuddling up against each other so that we could look into each other's eyes. It felt absolutely wonderful to be holding him again, to be held by his powerful arms and smell his musk. At peace with the world for the first time in a week, I felt my eyelids become heavy. “Richard…”

He moaned gently, acknowledging my voice.

In the silence that lingered between us, I thought of telling him everything right then and there: my every doubt and fear about myself, about how his presence was the most wonderful thing that’s ever happened to me — except for the fact that he’d fallen asleep. So, in the end, all I could say was... “I love you…” 

I held him tightly and drifted off to sleep soon after.
> A Canterlot Stroll
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ahh, Canterlot, my second home. I know it well and have had many good times there. On the surface, Canterlot is the playground for the Equestrian elite with its high-priced shopping outlets, old-money unicorns and, more recently, ladder-climbing, nouveau riche humans, and ponies making obscene profits off the new human technology market. Before and after humanity’s appearance on the world’s stage, it’s also been a great place to get tucked in! When nothing is going on in Ponyville, my reliable backup city hasn’t once let me down.

Sure, the old-money unicorns are out of the reach of most mares without money or status — not that it’s impossible for me, mind you, just more difficult — but the guardsponies and transient stallions are almost shamefully easy to win over. Tourists, other traders like myself delivering goods to a city that lacks its own land to grow food being located on the side of a mountain, and even visiting dignitaries from other lands are wide open to just about any mare with enough sense to take advantage of the situation. 

None of them are there for a long time, but they are there for a good time! The best part is, you’ll probably never have to deal with them again, and you both have plausible deniability. Surely the cousin of a Saddle Arabian prince wouldn’t admit to rutting the lowly flower vendor with nice flanks and immaculately sloping neck when he has that harem back home, right?

And for the record, that only had to happen once before I realized they were packing a bit more than I could handle comfortably! He was quite the gentlecolt in any case and had a very alluring accent. I still consider that night a win even though I was sore for days. 


*****


We woke up at my usual hour and bathed together, though as we were both tired, shower shenanigans were kept to a minimum. Today’s visit was going to be quite different as Richard and I took the Canterlot trotway north with the wagon in tow. To avoid traffic through town, I meant to leave early while my roommates slept, though if I’m being honest that was more of an excuse than the reason — I simply didn’t want to see Lily at that point, certainly not when I was about to take a working holiday with my new coltfriend. 

My plan was foiled when, upon leaving the bathroom, Lily was greeted to the site of Richard’s shirtless body. For once, can’t the mare just sleep another hour longer? After making a hasty introduction and calming things back down, we quietly sat down with her to a cold cereal breakfast. If Lily was awkward around other ponies then she was completely flummoxed by the sight of an interdimensional creature inside her home, sitting at the breakfast table with her and asking to share her milk. I wasn’t doing much better, trying hard to not look at her and mentally begging for the entire awkward ordeal to end before I could have any more flashbacks to her to that night...

We eventually got on the road and a couple hours later finally made the base of the mountain where the great city lay. My chivalrous human coltfriend naturally offered to pull it for me to spare his fair damsel, being a hopeless romantic and all, but I put my hoof down. I looked up at Canterlot from the road which wound up the side of the mountain on a gentle slope. “I don’t care how you did things back on earth, you’re on vacation!”

The Gentleman frowned, sitting atop the crates as if he were being punished. “I get it, ‘when in Roam’ and all of that; I’m just not sure how I’m going to explain to onlookers why my girlfriend is pulling me around on a heavy-laden cart. I’ve got a set of values you might say...”

Ignoring his protests, I started the ascent up the mountain, the ropes securing the boxes to the wagon straining. “And I have a set of hooves and a harness that fits me. If anyone makes fun of you, I’ll buck ‘em in the face for you. Sound good?” 

I left out the part about me being turned on by the idea of pulling him around. I really scare myself sometimes.

“Only if I get to do the face kicking, and I pay you back for your effort later.” Came Richard’s playful reply.

“Deal.” I felt my muscles in my back begin to tense up from the added weight as I’d climbed. Earth pony stamina was considerable but not infinite and pulling a cart was in no way my special talent! I was going to be sweating and aching something fierce by the time I’d gotten up there, but there was no way I was going to let him down. “What do you have in mind, anyway? Perhaps another grand chase?”

“Actually I had something a bit more relaxed in mind. Roleplay is fun and all, but it’s not really who I am,” he replied placidly. “I must confess, I was very nervous about doing what I did to you that night. The thought of taking advantage of a vulnerable mare… just doesn’t sit well with me.”

I did pay for his services, didn’t I? I’d never even considered the idea that he might not have enjoyed the idea. Pity and admiration in equal measures rose up within me, soon replaced by anger. “I’m very sorry, Richard. They didn’t force you to do that did they?” If they did, I’d make them pay!

He shook his head quickly. “Oh, nothing like that. I really didn’t dwell too much on it that day until the moment I was at your door. Intellectually, I understood that I was just doing a job and doing what you asked, but on a deep, primal level it just feels unsettling to harm a woman — or mare in your case. The idea is just as upsetting for us as harming stallions is for you.”

I found the concept a bit strange as humans had a roughly equal ratio of men to women but didn’t question it. I’m sure to humans the idea makes perfect sense. Still, he could have fooled me! “But, you’re so good at it! I’d never been so convinced by a performance in my life!”

Richard gave a chuckle at that. “I’ll admit, seeing you so taken in by the whole experience gave me great satisfaction, but why have the performance when you can have the real thing?” 

Getting us to the hotel couldn’t come soon enough for the both of us; I quickened my pace. “You’ve convinced me! So what did you have in mind?”

“I can’t spoil it for you. Where would be the fun in that? I’ll give you a hint though, you’ll feel like a million bits when I’m done, and will never stop asking for me to do it again,” he replied knowingly. 

“That’s a bold statement, my handsome friend, but I accept your offer.” Surely nothing could compare to the feeling of being preyed upon, could it? 

“You won’t regret it, Rose.” 

We’d traveled about three-quarters of the way up the mountain in contented silence, the pressure on my ears causing them to pop slightly when Richard spoke again. “You make the trip up to Canterlot often?”

“Once every week at least.” I felt soreness spread across my back and shoulders as I walked; a thin sheen of sweat coated my body. “Well, Daisy does it most of the time. She’s the best built for hailing out of the three of us — tall, wide, and indestructible.”

“I take it that wasn’t the mare who nearly spat coffee all over your kitchen earlier?” the Gentleman asked with a chuckle.

“Oh no! That’s our Lily: the smallest and meekest of our happy bunch. She pulls the cart sometimes too, but she’s very shy and doesn’t like strangers. Lily’s one of those strange city folks from over the Macintosh Hills; she’s cold and distant at first, but deep down, she’s just a big sweetheart.” I broke into a wide smile, before scowling at myself and shoving my inner fooler back into the closet before she could embarrass me further.

“Aww! That’s… wait a second — wasn’t that the mare with the room we trashed? Oh, geez! I’d freak out too if I met the guy who did that!” he exclaimed in surprise. “I would have apologized for it right then and there if I’d have known.”

If he’d known about that other really messed up thing, we might not be having this conversation at all. One crisis at a time, Rose! “You can tell her when we get back. The Grand Galloping Gala awaits!”

That settled him back down. “Now there’s one gig I haven’t done yet! Honestly, Rose, after getting me a free ticket to the most exclusive event in Equestria, the least I can do is not weigh down the cart…”

“Okay, fine! Come walk with me.” I grumped, secretly happy to at least have his weight off the cart; I was really starting to get sore. “Though, I’m surprised you never got asked to go by one of your clients, or simply swooped in from the sky.”

Walking alongside he, I felt his hand run through my mane before he pressed his lips against my neck earning him an appreciative moan. “Never had a mare with those kinds of connections ask me to go — not until I met you.”

I chucked at that. “I’m hardly a pony with connections to the aristocracy; I’m just really lucky. Daisy usually goes since she runs things at the shop and is the best at flower arranging but I’ve gotten to go a couple times before the portal opened.” I got rutted both times too but chose to leave that part out. “Speaking of mares, how has work been?”

“A lot less crazy, but I’m probably better for it. I still see a few regular clients, favorites of mine, that ask for sex at the end of the night; for the most part, though, I’m just doing dinner and talking.” He found my favorite spot behind my right ear and began scratching it. 

Oh, that feels good! I regarded him skeptically, “A chance for a good rutting, and they only want to talk?”

“You’d be surprised how many lonely mares there are that just want a stallion’s undivided attention, especially in the big cities. Sometimes, we even foalsit for clients.”

I got a mental image of shirtless Richard chasing a pair of pegasi foals inside some stranger’s home. “Stuntman Richard: lover, daredevil, and family man.”

“That’s me!” He thumped his chest twice with a closed fist.

Two Canterlot guardsponies, both unicorn stallions, greeted us at the gate. The pair of them wore matching helmets with gold breastplates cinched together with blue stars and carried six-foot long pikes. The unicorn on the right, a gray on gray stallion named Ring Mail, also wore a smile that I’ve given him the last time we’d met when he was off-duty; he greeted me with a crisp salute. The other unicorn watched Richard closely, unaccustomed to seeing humans entering from the old trade road. After exchanged pleasantries and undergoing a brief magical scan to confirm we weren’t changelings, we walked through onto the paved streets of Canterlot, Richard taking in the fully-clothed ponies and old buildings with great curiosity.

The sun rose up suddenly over the top of the mountain and the streets were soon filled with humans and ponies commuting, both of whom were dressed in style. The humans must really find themselves at home amongst so many others wearing clothes. “Don’t come here often Richard? You look like a tourist!”

“Not enough to get used to the buildings that wouldn’t be out of place in Moscow in a country where the inhabitants all speak my language; it’s a shock I’ll never get used to.” 

“Ahh, Moscow. Ponies of the world, unite!” I exclaimed, drawing confused looks from passersby.

“Wait, what? How do you know about that?” Richard looked at me, the confusion evident on his face.

“Another one of my chats with Lyra. She says Sam, her boyfriend, would make jokes about Soviet Russia; I got curious enough that I asked him about it. He told me about the country’s history over the past century, ugly though it occasionally is. Makes me wonder if ponies if couldn’t do with an alternative method of organizing labor.” I gave Richard an evil grin.

Richard looked at me in mock terror. “Watch out, Equestria, Chairpony Roseluck is on the loose! What will be your first action as Premier? Will you collectivize the farms or nationalize the industry?” 

“Oh, I’ll let others do the boring stuff. I’m going to build tanks, lots of ‘em!” I clopped my front hooves together, grinning, thinking that Linky would be so proud of me for that statement. “Then, I will make fun a mandatory part of everypony’s life.”

“The Princess of The Proletariat: bringing peace and harmony whether you ask for it or not! As long as you don’t invade the moon, I think you’ll be fine.” Richard wiggled his eyebrows at me. 

That elicited a sharp laugh from me. “Luna can keep it. I can’t grow anything up there anyway. Speaking of growing, I’m going to be working for the rest of the day with the Canterlot florists, but you’re welcome to join me. Just don’t work too hard or I’ll throw you in the gulag!” I shook a forehoof in his direction to let him know I meant business.

“Sure thing comrade! Shame, Lyra only taught you about Russia’s communist history though.”

“Oh, I’ve learned other things too, but not from Lyra. She certainly got me interested in our talks though. I picked up a book on Russian history and even got my hooves on a vinyl copy of some of their folk music. It’s so… evocative!” I lifted a forehoof to my chest. “I can’t help but feel the pride of the millions of people who live there!”

“And here I was hoping to win you over with our fine, American pop music!” Richard rolled his eyes. “You have a favorite song?”

“Song of the Volga Boatman,” I replied automatically, knowing the titles of each song by heart.

Richard scratched his chin. “I’m not sure which one that is.”

“Eyyy ukhnem, eyyy ukhnem! Yeshcho ra-ah-ah-zik, yeshcho da raz!” I sang, swaying back and forth slowly to the rhythm in my head.

The tall gentleman scratched his blonde-maned head and looked at me stunned. “That depressing song? It makes me think of a task I’ll never seem to finish.”

“Huh. Sometimes, I like to hum it to myself in the middle of painfully tedious work. It gives me hope that I’ll eventually make it through; I don’t find it depressing at all.” I smiled and continued humming.

He smiled and nodded, his eyes focused on mine. “That’s very wise, Rose; I admire your optimism. Though, I may have to call you Red Scare from now on...” 

“Because I’m scared or because I’m a communist?” 

He gave me a pointy-toothed grin, “Both!”

I shook my head at the silly Gentleman’s sense of humor, giving him a wry smile to let him know he’d got one on me. “I’ll see you later, handsome.”

Richard saluted, grabbed the luggage from the cart, and headed towards the Shemareaton. I wiped perspiration from my brow. Now that the small matter of hauling a cartload of heavy crates uphill was done with, it was time to get to the actual work.


*****


There wasn’t much for poor Richard to do inside the Canterlot Flower Shop except staying out of our way. Most of the unicorn mares organized to turn the supply wagon into a floral display worthy of immortals were practiced with manipulating the flowers into place with magic. I admired how well he handled the crowd, in any case, deftly managing the roomful of curious mares with his well-honed charm, managing his time to deal with each without neglecting the others. As I stood there watching him at work, I remembered the menace he seemed to pose during our first encounter — the pitiless stalker of my dreams — and couldn’t help but smile.  

Satisfied with our work, I collected my share of payment for the work done as well as delivering the flowers; shame, only a small part of it was for me. With some time to spare before the Gala, we decided to hit the shops and look at some of some of the new technology.

“Cellphones,” Richard pointed to the collection of small, thin rectangles inside a glass case manned by a tall, dark-skinned human man who smiled at us as we approached. “I’ve been waiting for these to become available here. Being able to call from anywhere is a priceless asset for someone like me who’s always on the move.”

“Where are all the buttons?” I asked the salesman, unsure how any of this magic was supposed to work. 

“Right here on the screen, ma’am!” The man pressed a button on the side that unfolded the screen which lit up, displaying the numbers. “We even have stylus pens for earth ponies and pegasi to use. But if those are too clumsy… you can also dial by voice! Watch this!” He pressed a button and then spoke. “Call... Carl.”

A few seconds later a ringtone heard from his fellow worker, who raised his phone and nodded. They then went on to demonstrate me the video call feature, by showing me a real-time image of his coworker’s face, transmitted from his phone. “Neat, huh?”

To be honest, I found it a bit creepy. I supposed some magic was to be expected to power this ‘cell phone,’ but already decided against buying one. Why would I want a phone I could use anywhere when I’m usually in Ponyville? The high cost and monthly fee left quite an impression on me as well. “Thanks for showing me, but I’ll pass.” 

“Not impressed, Rose?” Richard asked, a look of mild confusion on his face. 

The concept seemed nice, I had to admit, but there was something kind of sinister about it all that I couldn’t quite put my hoof on. “I’ll stick with my trusty land-line. Can we, um… go?”

“No problem, Rose. I have something else I’d like to show you anyway.” He brushed me across my back with his hand, my skin tingling from his touch. 

“Now we’re talking!” I grabbed him by the sleeve of his shirt and led him away from the booth. 

“Goodbye!” Richard called out futilely to the salesman but made no attempt to stop me.


*****


Far from escaping the technology at the shop, the Shemareton Hotel was a veritable ocean of it. Artificial lighting from chandeliers filled the halls lined with colorful carpets. I saw ponies, mostly unicorns, talking on the new phones including a tiny, unicorn filly who struggled to open the latch with her magic before finally succeeding — her little face lighting up with glee. Who is that little foal supposed to be talking to? She doesn’t even have a cutie mark! Disgusted, I tore my eyes away from the horrible sight.

“This has to be the most modern-looking hotel I’ve seen outside of Manehatten,” Richard observed. “Ponies are really incorporating technology very quickly.”

“That’s… uh… great?” I forced an expression composing several different emotions at once, not one of them being joy.

“That definitely wasn’t the reaction I expected.” With the key in hand, Richard let us inside our room. After making only small talk from the shop back to the hotel, I knew this was coming. “What’s on your mind?”

“This is all very… overwhelming.” I looked around the room which contained even more signs of humanity’s technological conquest: small lamps and artificial cooling pouring out of vents along the walls; clocks without hands displayed the time with illuminated numbers; in the kitchen area, a huge icebox without any ice miraculously kept everything cold inside. Of course, I’d heard rumors, idle banter from ponies coming through town, and there were even Ponyvillians like Filthy Rich, who are said to possess such things — not that I’ve ever been to his mansion on the edge of town. But to actually stare upon the alien environment with your own two eyes… The room even smelled alien; my nose twitching at the slightly antiseptic smell of the place.

“Just take it in slowly; you’ll be fine, Rose.” 

After circling the room a couple of times, I took another look at the magic icebox. There wasn’t any food inside of it but had small compartments along the door used to hold bottles by the looks of it. Lily could keep an entire dairy in here; she’d never worry about running out of milk again! Other compartments were designated for meat, vegetables and even customizable temperature and humidity controls. 

There was even a light inside the chamber when you opened the door to let you see everything in the dark. That seemed unnecessary to me, is it keeping everything lit when I’m not looking at it? I closed the door and opened it back up quickly. Laughter from behind me drew my attention away from the icebox.

“Rose, you are the cutest thing! The light goes off when you close the door; that machine is called a refrigerator and runs off of magic until we can settle with your government on a form of energy that won’t pollute the environment.” Richard took a seat in a long beige sofa and, kicked off his shoes regarding me with bemusement.

I arched an eyebrow at him. “If you don’t have a refrigerator, then how do you know the light goes off?” 

“Because science says so!” Richard replied with gusto. “That, and it makes sense as a way to save energy. The refrigerators back on earth all do that.”

I opened and shut the door again. “But this one runs on magic. Maybe it’s defective or something.” 

“Call the manufacturers, we got an energy inefficient fridge over here!” Richard stood up and walked over to the fridge. “Watch this.” He opened the door and closed it very slowly until there was only the tiniest sliver of an opening remaining when the light inside cut out. 

“You win this time, monster, but I’m taking your spot!” I launched towards the sofa with Richard in hot pursuit, but my four legs were faster, and I beat him to it, spreading my body out to take up the whole length of the couch. 

Being the diabolical cheater he is, he climbed over the back and wedged himself between myself and the couch, wrapped me up in his arms, and slid in underneath me, all the while with me laughing gaily. 

Adjusting to a more mutually comfortable lying position, I draped my forelegs around his neck and straddled his midsection — a position he was all too familiar with and didn’t mind at all — looked into his eyes, and made my request, “so how about that million bit treatment…” 

“Ah yes! Well, I think you deserve a little something for all your hard work today. If you could let me back up first.”

“I suppose if it’s for a good cause.” I gave him a sly grin and dismounted.

“Okay, lie down on your stomach and let me work some of my earth human magic on you.” He returned my sly grin in like kind. “Anywhere but the couch; I need to be able to get at you from both sides.”

I liked the sound of that! I nodded and plopped down on the soft carpeting. “Better?”

“Perfect.” Positioning himself He began to knead at my back, probing the muscle beneath with his fingers. “Your back is as hard as a rock!”

“Ooh!” I gasped. “Well, I don’t get to the spa very often.”

Richard tsk-tsked me. “You’re certainly an emergency case! You must have been hurting pretty bad going up the mountain.”

“Well… I may have been a bit sore, but I don’t like to complain.” I felt a knot of pain shoot across my lower back and grunted softly. “My lower back is kinda sore…”

He traced the path with his finger exactly I’d felt the pain. “Ahh, glutes giving you trouble? Makes sense given all the hauling you do. Feels like your trapezius muscles could use some love too.” He kissed the spot where I’d felt the sharp pain. “Just let me take care of everything, Rose.”

I nickered gently, “Th-thank you, Richard.”

He started near my tail, positioned directly behind me, his hands working both flanks. Despite reason telling me otherwise, I lifted my tail to present myself to him, yearning for him to plunge himself into me. “Oh, I’ll certainly be taking care of that later,” he whispered into my ear, before kissing the base of it. 

Later can’t come soon enough! 

He continued his efforts to purge me of pain, working slowly up my back until reaching my shoulders, planting kisses along my spine as he went; it felt like less of a message than an act of worship; one few stallions had ever given me. I moaned and I whinnied, but he politely refused the invitation of my winking marehood. Positioning himself in front of me to loosen my shoulder muscles, he teased me even more by planting another trail of kisses along my neck at the bulge created by the jugular vein. When he was finished with my neck, he nipped at my ears playfully and turned his attention to my muzzle. By the time he was done I was feeling no pain, but also had no shortage of want for more.

“Richard…” 

“Yes, Rose?”

“I feel like a million bits, and I never want you to stop.” I embraced him and we kissed slowly, sensually, my body wanting more but settling for a taste of his love. 

“Told ya! But was it better than being hunted?” the inquisitive Gentleman giving me a sidewise grin.

“Hmm…” I scratched my chin with my hoof, “Why not both?”

“Can we get a shower first? I don’t like to go hunting when I stink — gives me away.” He sniffed his shirt and crinkled his nose. 

“Deal!” Richard threw me my towel, emblazoned with my rose cutie mark, and the two of us went to go finish what we’d started earlier. The tradition of rutting in Canterlot has to be maintained after all.
> The Gentleman's Price
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Having relived some of our finer moments as a couple back at the hotel, the rest of the daylight hours were relegated to tending to the floral arrangements. Not only would we have access to the palace grounds for the Gala, but we were allowed in early to set everything up. We walked west along the cobblestone streets until we reached the perimeter of Canterlot Castle: a natural moat created by the source of the Canterlot River cutting a path across the road then dropping down into the valley below, and running through Ponyville itself — a stunning thing of beauty. 

Not to mention acrophobia, I reminded myself as I felt the soft pads of my hooves tingle with anxiety as I watched the river tumbling over the side of the mountain.

“Isn’t it the most wonderful thing you’ve ever seen, Richard?“ I said dreamily, gesturing towards the stream rolling down from the ice pack at the summit.

“Looks like a great place to stage a dramatic siege.” Richard opined.

I rolled my eyes at him. I supposed if things don’t work out between us, I could always hand him off to Linky. May Celestia have mercy upon him.

We met another pair of unicorns guards who repeated the changeling scan and allowed us to pass over the drawbridge with our flower cart. In addition to the drawbridge, a huge pair of double doors and a raised wrought iron gate defended the gatehouse, the gate’s spikes gleaming from the top of the doorway. Were they expecting changelings to show up any minute? Remembering the last time they’d attacked in force and the tightened security that had preceded that event, I couldn’t help but feel some trepidation about the Gala and hoped we’d have things under control in case Queen Chrysalis attempted to seize control of the city again. 

After being allowed across the bridge, we came across another two guards inside the gatehouse who opened a door leading to the courtyard proper. Rope barriers had already been set up to keep ponies from trampling across the royal garden and it wasn’t even nighttime yet. A fact that reminded me of the Gala’s primary fault as an event: the fact that nopony ever seemed to have very much fun. The entire point of the Grand Galloping Gala wasn’t so much about enjoying the company of other ponies or letting your mane down but simply being there, hobnobbing with the upper crust and well-to-do. Well, that and the chance for some of Applejack’s pie... 

No, not like that! The proprietor of Sweet Apple Acres has been coming for years to sell her apple-based confectioneries with mixed results due to Canterlot’s expensive tastes. The gala crowd usually turns their collective noses up at such ‘common fare’, but the servants and maids love it; they usually clean her out after the party is done. 

Looking up at a group of minotaurs situating mortars for the fireworks atop the keep, Richard pointed out the similarities between the Gala and what he called ‘The Fourth of July’. “We celebrate the independence of our nation with fireworks because that is how our nation was born and how it was preserved: through fire, smoke, and the sound of booming cannons,” was how he put it.

“We just think they’re pretty,” I replied with a smile. “And we mainly celebrate the Gala to meet the Princesses.” 

“Fair enough. I hope we get to meet her tonight! I’ve never met a head of state before.”

Unfortunately, Princess Celestia wasn’t around. Having left the groundskeepers with the task of finishing the preparations, we both agreed on a snack after ditching the wagon; I’d had enough of pulling that thing all day, massage or no. “Let’s go to Donut Joe’s! It always gives me fond memories of going there as a foal on field trips.”

“Sounds a bit too working class for the high society of Canterlot, doesn’t it?” Richard said thoughtfully. 

“Oh come on, nopony can resist a good donut! Besides, the two of us are about the furthest thing from high-class you can get.” I smacked him on his blue jeans covered rump with my tail to drive home my point.

“Good point. But can anything they have to offer be as good as Sugarcube Corner’s ‘Chimi-Cherry-Changa’?”

“You… you’ve actually tried one?” I was genuinely surprised. “They’re exclusive to Sugarcube Corner, you know. Pinkie Pie invented it and it’s one of Equestria’s best-kept secrets.” I lead the way south along the outer highway which paralleled the edge of the city.

Richard scratched his chin before his face lit up. “You know what she could try that would be even better? Bananas! Just imagine the wonder of it all: a fried pastry filled with bananas and peanut butter.” 

I could feel my arteries harden at the very mention. “Where in Equestria did you come up with that idea!? Sounds like something a pregnant mare would eat…” 

“You only live once! I think I’ll have you ask her to make me one when we get back into town.” 

I arched an eyebrow at him. “Have me ask? Why not just ask her for one yourself?”

Richard looked at me with genuine concern. “I think she might be an enchantress of some sort. The last time I came into town she almost got me into the sack without me even knowing what was going on…”

I gasped. “You have no idea how lucky you are, do you?” I shook my head at him pitifully. “She must have been in heat again.”

Richard shook his head in return. “Men don’t lose their heads during a mare’s heat cycle the same way a stallion does. We just notice you smell a bit… muskier.”

“Normally, that’s true.” I acknowledged fairly. “Pinkie Pie is just… she’s… different. I’ve heard stories that would shock you.”

“I’m all ears,” Richard replied, tickling my withers. “What happened?”

“The story goes that a man from a company that moved into Ponyville called ‘Three Guys Who Paint’ found himself alone with Pinkie Pie while the Cake Family, who runs Sugarcube Corner, were on vacation for a week. He was brought in to help with a remodel while Pinkie Pie stayed behind to mind the shop. She was in heat at the time and…”

“He spent a week sampling the stuff behind the counter?” Richard grinned lewdly at me.

“Oh, you’re incorrigible!” I scolded, shaking a hoof at him facetiously. “Nopony actually knows for sure what happened, but the tale goes that he was so overwhelmed by temptation that he lost touch with reality. The man felt put off by the idea of sleeping with a mare and it mentally broke him. The poor fellow is terrified of coming across a mare in heat now.” I remembered the look on his face when Linky had jumped clear over him. He must have thought the barbarian mare was going to claim him as a prize!

Richard shivered. “I… know what he felt. He was stuck with her for a whole week!? There’s no way he held out under that. I only barely lasted thirty minutes before the ponies running the shop put a brake on it.”

“It all went down in the middle of winter too, so he was confined to the closed down shop with her for almost the entire week. Don’t worry Richard, I won’t leave you in that predicament.”  I turned and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

“You’re all heart!” He kissed my hoof as we stood outside the entrance to Donut Joe’s. “I don’t suppose Joe has hypnotic powers does he?”

“Don’t worry, handsome. I won’t let him take advantage of you!” I said with false sweetness.

“Oh, you’re going to get it later. Rose!” he said, wagging his finger at me in a shaming gesture.

I prodded him towards the entrance and called out to the stallion at the counter, “Three chocolate ring donuts, Joe — extra sprinkles!


*****


The moon having risen properly, and we filed into the courtyard on foot. There was no discrimination by race, class, or gender  — all came in by foot through the gatehouse and into the courtyard and ballroom where Celestia stood along with Twilight Sparkle. This sure isn’t the Gala I remember! Or so I’d thought as I looked into the crowd of ponies and humans mingling and having a good time. Unlike the humans in Ponyville, Richard must have been the youngest man there. In fact, most of the partygoers either appeared to be members of the aristocracy, foreign dignitaries of Tellus, or very important looking humans. Not that we weren’t dressed for the occasion. I wore a black satin gown with a ruby studded trim with green dress shoes adoring my hooves. Richard, taking the occasion seriously, wore a steel-gray tuxedo jacket and pants, crisp white shirt, and black bow tie. 

I looked around for my old Saddle Arabian friend, Fair Trade, but no such luck. I would have liked to see his face when he got a good look at me. There were Saddle Arabians present though, not to mention a smattering of griffins, and even a trio of buffaloes. 

Casting his gaze over the heads of the assembly on account of his height, Richard set his gaze on an uncomfortable looking older man with a red, white, and blue lapel I recognized as being American colors. “I don’t believe it. Senator Carl Rowen in here in Equestria!” 

“Who?”

“The gray-haired fellow over there!” Richard pointed to a man standing near the table with a glass of punch in his shaky hand; he looked like he would rather be anywhere else. Another man with a similar lapel was laughing at him and patting him on the back. I didn’t catch what he was saying, given the ambient sound of half a dozen spoken languages and the chirping of meadowlarks from the royal garden, but you didn’t need a translator to understand one man giving another man a good ribbing. Looking at the two of them, I was forcefully reminded of the way I’d treat Lily in a similar situation. Poor thing!

I looked up at Richard and chuckled. “He looks about ready to sprout wings and fly out of here! How do you know him?” 

“I don’t know him by association, but I certainly know him by reputation! That guy is an uber-fundamentalist, Tennessee senator whose anti-Equestrian rhetoric has landed him on newspapers on both ends of the portal. Specifically, that Equestrian ponies are demons sent to tempt mankind! Seeing him here in Equestria is like seeing Derek Jeter in a Boston pub!”

And just who was Derek Jeter, and why was he not welcome in Boston? Those were questions for later. “Aww, he doesn’t like us? He’s here now, though; I bet he just wants to give us a chance and see that we aren’t as bad as he thought.” I started towards him when I felt Richard’s hand rest upon my shoulder. “What’s the matter?”

“I bet you anything he’s here for political reasons. He probably wants to let the rest of the country think he isn’t a bigot by showing up here. I wouldn’t expect him to be all that pleasant to talk to.” Richard said, darkly. “And he sure as hell wouldn’t approve of what I do.”

“I’m willing to give him that chance. Let’s go talk to him!” I pleaded, rearing up onto two legs and draping my forehooves over his neck. 

“Okay, just don’t go offering to hook him up with any of your friends,” Richard teased.

We both made our way to the table slowly through the crowd of ponies when the senator took notice of the towering man-mountain named ‘Richard’ and I like to refer to as ‘handsome’.

“Senator Carl Rowen! To what do we owe this dubious pleasure?” Richard asked cooly, his arms folded defensively. 

“Richard…” I gave him a stern look, and he allowed his arms to fall to his side. Whatever he thought of the guy, or what he thought of us, there was no need for trouble. Seriously, is the Gala cursed with trouble or something? I mean, is Tirek going to show up at one and give a toast to Equestria’s well-being?

“Your reputation proceeds you, Senator!” said Rowen’s friend — if that’s the right word. “I’ll just be leaving you to your two… constituents.”  The man, who I noticed was wearing a red and white lapel with a red maple leaf, gave a hearty laugh, found an unaccompanied unicorn mare and began chatting her up. 

I mentally assigned the man with the old-fashioned Equestrian accent to the ‘likes Equestria’ camp and focused back on Senator Rowen. He was leaning with one leg against the table for support and had both hands clasped together behind his back, his face downcast. 

“Believe me, sir, I’ve had much explaining to do for weeks: to the media, the people back home, to my church, and to concerned folks like yourself who were troubled by what I said on the record.” The Senator said formally in a strangely familiar dialect. Have he and Applejack met? 

“Then why did you say such mean things about us, Mister Rowen?” I asked evenly.

“Please, call me Carl.” He extended his hand to each of us in turn.

“I’m Roseluck.” I extended a hoof to which he awkwardly returned with a fist bump. Good to see he paid attention during orientation! 

“I’m Richard Eckhart, but Richard works too.” I was glad to see his voice had lost its prosecutorial edge.

“Pleased to meet you both. As I was saying, I’ve received some justified flak for what I said. I spoke in ignorance: I did not see ponies as being my neighbor at the time but as a threat. I came here to Equestria to apologize to Celestia personally for my insult.” Carl gestured toward the throne room where he knew Celestia to be.

“Your neighbor?” I asked, unsure what he was playing at.

“As a fellow human being possessing a soul and deserving of fair treatment. As humans are the only sapient lifeform we know about in our dimension, I assumed ‘ponies’ to be… demonic — not of God.”

I gave him a puzzled look. “That is... very strange to my way of thinking. We’ve encountered many different species that speak and think intelligently, it is true, but we ponies have always encountered every new species as being worth respect until their actions dictate otherwise. We don’t always assume things will work out for the best, but we treat all creatures, sapient or otherwise as our ‘neighbors’. I don’t understand why ‘God’ or anypony else would be so quick to assume that outsiders are evil.”

“Well said, Rose.” Richard chimed in gently stroking my shoulders. “I think we could all learn a bit from their way of thinking. Wouldn’t you agree, Carl?”

“Indeed, and again, I’m very sorry for my mistake. Clearly, there is a divine inspiration to be found in your arts and architecture, the greatness of your monuments, and the spark of invention and imagination in the eyes of your people. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’d best get in line while I’m still alive to make amends.” He smiled and laughed politely.

“I’m sorry too, Carl; I guess I figured the only reason you came here was to start trouble.” Richard hung his head.

“All is forgiven. May God bless you both!”

“Thanks, Senator — er, Carl,” Richard replied, as we both waved to him. Addressing me in a hushed tone, he said, “Well… that de-escalated quickly.”

I giggled at him. He’s such a goof! 


*****


We made our way through the crowd and happened across Rainbow Dash talking with her Wonderbolts friends. Richard told me she was something of a personal hero of his. “Go say hi to her, then!” I told him. not entirely managing to hide my jealousy. If he’s a man of the skies, then surely, he’d find the mare of the skies quite tempting. I ordered myself to throw my jealousy into the same closet as my latent fillyfooler and hoped they’d both fit comfortably.

“Rainbow Dash?” Richard asked hesitantly.

The spectral maned, cyan coated pegasus, wearing her cloud-trimmed spectral Gala dress with gold filigree around each ear, turned in Richard’s direction. “Who’s askin’?” Noticing me, she gave me a wave. “Oh, hey Roseluck, surprise seeing you this year! How’s Daisy?” 

“Hey Rainbow Dash! Daisy’s doing great. Just hanging out with my coltfriend here…”

“I’m sorry to bother you; it’s just, I never thought I’d ever meet the pony who made first contact!” The uncharacteristically starstruck Gentleman blurted out.

“Heh. I really put on a show for you guys, didn’t I? Too bad you didn’t get to see my signature move!”  

“I’ve seen the video of it! It’s like you’re breaking the speed of awesome or something!” Richard exclaimed, pumping a fist in the air.

The Wonderbolts captain, I recognized as Spitfire, laughed at Richard. Maybe it was his choice of words?

“I couldn’t have said it better! But you look strangely familiar, have we actually met?” Rainbow Dash eyed him suspiciously.

“The name’s Richard, I’ve been known to fly around Ponyville with the weather team on occasion…”

Her eyes lit up in understanding. “Ohhhh! You’re one of Blossomforth’s friends!” Rainbow Dash made a silly kissy face and laughed. “Still, I gotta give you credit for strapping yourself to a team of pegasi and flying around like that — pretty awesome!” 

“We have a mutual love for the sky, you might say,” Richard said, smoothly. 

I swear if he picks up this mare right in front of me, I will buck him senseless! I bumped Richard him gently. 

Richard gave me an apologetic look in return, mumbling “force of habit” under his breath.

Rainbow cocked an eyebrow at him and ran a hoof through her for forelock — oh-so-casually displaying her neck in the process. “Do we now? Let me just ask you one thing, Mister Richard, you think you got what it takes to keep up with a Wonderbolt?”

I felt my teeth begin to grind. I swear to the sun and the moon, I will…

“I do, Miss Rainbow Dash,” Richard said, cutting into my internal monologue, “but I’m quite content with life on the ground.” Richard rested a reassuring hand on my shoulders as he spoke.

Rainbow Dash looked at me, stunned for a split-second before recovering. “Oh, I… well I rather figured he was… available. Yeah, this is awkward. I’m sorry, Rose I — I’ll just be off then…” Rainbow flew off slowly — an uncharacteristic exit for the showy pegasus.

“Sorry about that Rose. I swear I wasn’t trying to pick her up! It’s the Gentleman training, I just can’t turn it off!”

“Don’t worry about it, handsome. I feel worse for Rainbow Dash, I think you may have shot her down back there…” I couldn’t help but feel bad for the two of them who’d probably end up together if I wasn’t here. I felt like the stingiest mare in all of Equestria, wanting a stallion all to myself, but we had an agreement. I sighed: this wasn’t the kind of night I was hoping for.

“It’s one of those mistakes that just happens sometimes. If I see her again, I’ll make things right between us. You want to head inside and listen to the band?” 

I was glad to see he wasn’t mad, but couldn’t shake the feeling that I would be if I were in his position — the part of me that remembers the thrill of the stallion chase, anyway. “Sure! I’ve been wanting to try my hooves at dancing for a while.”

Richard kissed my hoof, letting me know that everything was going to be fine, and we made our way to the ballroom, waving at Applejack as we passed who was tending to a long line of mostly human customers. It seemed they liked her pie as much as Soarin’ did!


*****


The rest of the Gala was much more pleasant: no awkward social moments or miscommunications. 

Later that evening, Princess Celestia herself dimmed the lights inside the ballroom, and the band started to play a slow waltz. Braving the confused looks of a few human couples and the appreciative clops from a few older couples; we made our way into the crowd of dancers and had no trouble at all. I’d learned how to do plenty while standing on my hind legs, and even learned to slow dance as a younger mare — it makes you stand out amongst the upper class of pony society as a cultured mare. Not only were we able to slow dance with ease, thanks in large part to Richard’s dexterous hands, when the music began to speed up, we were the only ones who could keep up with the human and griffin couples! Richard really showed some flair on the dance floor! 

Hot and sweaty, yet exhilarated, we finally got to say hello to Princess Celestia and Twilight Sparkle. It is unusual, to say the least, to kneel before a mare who came into town without any connections to us at all, a humble unicorn scholar from Canterlot, who would ascend to the station of Element of Magic. Somehow everything had changed, and yet, Twilight remained herself: the same curious intellectual who eschewed pretension and fostered friendships, not only between ponies but with our interdimensional human friends.

I just hope her friends are going to get her laid. Nopony should be that talented and not have a little fun every now and then.

We celebrated the end of the Grand Galloping Gala from inside the hotel room; mortars filling the air with bangs and colorful flashes and joined by much smaller ones sent into the air by citizens in town who weren’t lucky enough to get inside for the party. We were both too tired to keep up with the crowd. Besides, I had my own motivation for getting him back to the hotel room, and it wasn’t the sex — this time.

“You’ve got me so wore out, I don’t think I’ll be able to manage a chase this time. You really know your way around the dance floor!” Richard stripped down to his trousers and neatly folded away his discarded clothes before climbing into bed. 

I found that very strange; surely he’s okay with me seeing him naked by now. 

“Every mare needs her niche. I’m just glad my lessons weren’t a complete waste of time: there aren’t very many dance enthusiasts in Ponyville.” I unzipped my dress and shrugged out of it, before joining him in bed. 

“I don’t think there are many mares like you, period. You’re really something special, Roseluck.” He kissed me on the muzzle and tossed my mane. 

“Richard…” Oh, I really don’t want to lose this stallion, but being a liar will get me absolutely nowhere. Nor is hiding my inner fillyfooler, or it’ll be even worse when she finally does come out to play. “There’s something I have to tell you…”

Richard’s face began to pale as I said those most dreaded of words. “Yes… Rose?” He looked as if he was expecting the worst, holding his breath and tensing. The ghost of his wonderful grin remained hitched to his face, no doubt hiding his fear.

The irony of the situation was not lost on me, but I took no pleasure in watching him worry. “It-it’s really strange. And awkward.”

Richard changed positions, lying on his side with his right hand supporting his head; his fear having been forgotten for the moment, he switched to a look of polite interest. “Strange and awkward sounds right up my alley! Fire away.”

After clearing my mind of the absurd image of shooting an apple off his head with a water balloon, I accepted his request to proceed with the topic. “Well… it has to do with my… proclivities. I’ve never really thought about mares before. You know, like that.”

Richard gave me a surprised look. “That is rather unusual. Most mares I met are actually fine with warming another mare when a stallion isn’t available,” he pointed out truthfully.

I do not like fillies! I scolded myself mentally. Well, except when I do. I’m so confused! “I’m not most mares, I guess.”

“Point taken,” he conceded, his face impassive.

Gathering my courage, I took the plunge and trusted that my new coltfriend would be far more supportive and understanding than I feared. “Well, I had a very, very, uncomfortable experience last week with Lily.”

“I gather you two have a lot of those from what I saw this morning.” Richard shook his head in a pitying gesture. “What happened between you two?”

Knowing there was no turning back and no way I could get away with a lie even if I was inclined to tell one, I told him about my history with Lily, our having rutted under Discord’s influence — understandably, he had questions about the mechanics of Lily tucking me in as she was, in fact, a mare at the time — our emotional moment together in the greenhouse, and the events leading up to me shamefully being caught hitching a ride on Lily’s wagon. 

When I was done, Richard looked a little uncertain. “Well, I can’t say I’ve ever had a demigod interfere with my sex life, but I have had the unfortunate experience of waking up next to other people after an alcohol-induced blackout,” Richard said matter-of-factly through a visible grimace. “I guess what really intrigues me about this whole situation is that having sex with her wasn’t what made you attracted to her, but listening to her have sex with someone else did.”

He had a point. “Well, neither of us were really in control at the time. Maybe, I just didn’t… bond with her due to the unusual circumstance,” I suggested.

Richard thought about that for a second and snapped his fingers, a look of growing comprehension on his face. “If you could think of one word to describe how you feel about Lily and Golden Harvest being together, what would that word be?”

“Happy,” I said confidently, thinking about how perfect the two of them are for each other.

He nodded in satisfaction and, to my eyes, relief. “And did you, Roseluck, at any point come into the equation?”

I remembered back to the day Golden Harvest had shown obvious interest in her and examined my heart; the answer was plain… “No, of course not! She’s been alone for so long and I’m just very happy that somepony could finally complete her.” 

He nodded slowly. “So the two of you are linked, in a sense, by empathy. You care so deeply for Lily that you’re having trouble disconnecting yourself from her emotional states.”

“Oh come on!” I waved a hoof at him dismissively. “Isn’t that jumping to conclusions a bit? Yeah, she’s always been a curiosity of mine: this adorable, shy, little mare with her aversion to friends, company, and all things pony. I’ve always wanted to help her, but I never knew how because I couldn’t understand her strange way of looking at the world. It also hasn’t helped that she never seemed to want my help. Granted, my constantly teasing her probably didn’t help…” I covered my face with both forehooves, blinking tears out of my eyes. “I’m such an idiot.”

He held me close for a moment. “You really don’t give yourself enough credit, Rose. Maybe I can’t prove in absolute terms that I’m right, but consider this: You’ve said it yourself that Lily has frustrated you in the past by not letting you into her life. You’ve also told me that even after the two of you had sex, the walls went right back up. It was the circumstances…”

“And the… incident?” I imagined the sound of my orgasm that night reverberating in the enclosed space of my room. I’m never going to live that down.

Richard sat up, wrapping his legs around my lying form and looked into my eyes, running a hand through my mane. “She let you in, in the most intimate way possible. Her defenses fell and the Lily Valley you never knew was there for you to see.” 

I sobbed again, wiping away more tears as I began to piece together why we were really having this discussion. I had found it in his own efforts to comfort me and assure me that I was a trustworthy mare: ‘... the Lily Valley you never knew was there for you to see.’ 

And now that I’ve seen her for who she really is, my greatest fear was made manifest. “Richard, what if I’ve… fallen in love with her… and you?”

Richard’s expression transformed into shock and desperation; I felt my heart breaking as I watched the gears turning in his head. “Rose, I can’t do a herd— you know that.”

I slumped in his arms, certain I’d just lost the only colt I’d ever truly loved. “I know, Richard. I know… and I understand.”

“I know how ridiculous it sounds: a man who serves as an escort for Equestria’s mares who can’t share his love with more than one... but I just can’t!” Richard cupped his face in his hands. “Maybe it’s a human thing, maybe it’s that I just can’t split myself emotionally. But If I commit to a relationship, I have to ask my partner to do the same. Otherwise… it just won’t work.” 

For a brief moment, I appreciated the similarities between our two species, even as our differences threatened to tear us apart. “You are not a pony, Richard, and you are not ridiculous! You are the most wonderful man on earth or in Equestria and there is no choice between you and anypony else. I love you, Richard.” I gripped him tight around his chest and hugged him with everything I had. 

I could hear the break in his voice as he spoke his next words. “Rose, I can’t ask this of you…”

“But I can give this to you, handsome.”

“Rose, you have to talk to Lily about this… otherwise, it’ll always be hanging between us.”

“I know…” I sniffled as I released him from my grip, counting him lucky that I’d released him at all, and giving him some chance for escape. “I’m just so scared, Richard. I can’t bear the thought of losing you, but I can’t just turn off what I feel for her now.”

He looked at me grimly, his eyes wet with tears. “Like I’ve said before, this is certainly nothing new to me; a special person or pony comes into my life and then they leave. This is all brand-new to you and speaking as a guy who’s been to this rodeo before, you can’t afford to face the consequences of making the wrong choice. Please know what your heart is telling you before you commit yourself to me.”

“You’re right, Richard.” I nodded. “And thank you for not dumping me right then and there. I can’t say this enough: I love you.”

Richard kissed me once more on the muzzle. “Rose… I love you too.”


*****


We cuddled up in bed together and spoke no more the next day on the subject. We both knew that a pony’s heart can be in two or three or many places at once, but Richard's can only be in one place. As we returned home and approached the flower shop, I spoke my last prayer to Mi Amore Cadenza and placed my fate in her hooves.
> Do The Right Thing Part 1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I moaned gently as I awoke in my bed with Richard laying next to me, holding me around my middle. I called out to him softly but he was fast asleep. I looked out the window, and into the starry sky, feeling a warmth in my heart that complemented the cool night air. Could a moment be more perfect than this? Not wishing to wake him up after giving me such a wonderful night, I allowed him to rest as I contemplated the previous day. 

Expecting to come home to a standoff worthy of Daring Do, I was blindsided by the completely unforeseen contingency of a perfectly normal workday. Lily occupied her usual spot amongst the plants in the greenhouse, listening for incoming calls, while Daisy took care of the huge line of human and pony customers. Daisy greeted him warmly and told him it was okay for him to help me with the work so long as there was no ‘horseplay’ while Rose was on the job. I asked about Lily and was told she could wait until the workday was over. 

“Did I do something wrong?” I’d asked her.

She shook her head. “No, but you’re about to be very, very busy.” She had me go inside and manage the books — a job she normally reserved for herself.

Even with Richard’s help, it was hours before the paper wars were brought to a successful denouement. Of course, Daisy’s filing system made no sense to me at all, and the phones were ringing off the hook. I looked out at Daisy who was talking animatedly with the customers, wishing I was in her shoes, while Richard sorted waybills and receipts. Celestia help me, I actually preferred haggling with Granny Smith at that point!

Even Richard seemed determined to keep me working, having turned me down for a quick chase around the bedroom. “I’d rather not give your boss reason to hate me.”

“Why not? I do all the time!” I retorted.

Richard just laughed, shaking his head, as he continued working. 

By the time we got done sorting all the paperwork and managed the books, the shop was closed up, and to my surprise, Lily left with Golden Harvest without coming in for dinner. I couldn’t shake the feeling I was personally responsible somehow but reminded myself that she had her own life now and not everything was about me. 

If it was somehow my fault, I didn’t get that impression from Daisy, who spent that night entertaining us. Dizzy Twister made a rare appearance, still dressed in her maid’s outfit — a rather odd profession for a pegasus, but who am I to judge? Richard stole the show, as usual, charming the two mares with his tales of high-flying adventures. Thankfully, Daisy hadn’t mentioned his other profession, saving the lot of us from awkward questions. 

The two of them did ask about Gala but were more interested in hearing about the visiting human politicians than about the Princesses. Dizzy Twister peppered him with questions about western governance ranging from the role of a U.S. senator to the difference between governors and governors-general. Richard admitted he didn’t know as much as Canadian government as he should, but from his explanation, they were once ruled by a monarchy that shared many traits with our diarchy — except their monarchs couldn’t control the heavenly bodies, and weren’t immortal. It struck me as a very inefficient system. Who in their right mind would give mortals absolute authority even though they can’t even control their own weather? I’m sure to them, it must make perfect sense... somehow.

Pleased that Richard had won over the two of them over and confident that the others would eventually follow suit, we bathed and headed upstairs to my room, enjoying each other’s company the best way we knew how.


*****


A loving kiss to my right ear followed by an equally exquisite nibble told me that Richard wasn’t quite done with me yet. Not content to merely tease, his tongue went to work on the sensitive part behind my ear he knew was there, drawing a needy moan. My body given over to my increasing desire to be filled by him, I felt my inner walls expand. 

“Mount me, Richard!” I said huskily, standing on all fours and exposing myself to him.

In reply, I felt each inch of the thick shaft of his manhood glide slowly across my entrance, making me anticipate the moment when I would feel every one of those glorious inches inside me. He does so enjoy his work! “Yes, ma’am!” he replied, getting onto his feet and kneeling down on the bed while leaning into me for support. Despite the urgency of my request, he couldn’t help but first kissing my cutie mark, and giving my teats a gentle squeeze. 

An impatient whine escaped my muzzle. I was loathe to make him rush into action, but the house would soon be filled with activity, so time was of the essence. He stretched himself across my back, slowly as not to create a painful pressure point. I could easily support his weight as long as it was distributed properly.

With the hand he wasn’t using to balance himself, he stroked the length of my tail, appreciating the feel of the long hairs in his hand. The human’s fixation on such seemingly mundane and non-sexual parts of the pony anatomy was and is one of his most endearing and occasionally exasperating qualities, but one I was content to allow him to indulge. He found something in me that set me apart from every other mare in Equestria when he just as easily could found a mare of much higher status to match himself with. And yet, despite everything, he was in my room at that very moment seeking my approval — a humbling thing to consider. So, instead of telling him to get on with it, I allowed him to satisfy his curiosity, thankful to experience such an intimate exchange.

Having contented himself, he entered me gently, parting the lips of my marehood and locking himself within my warm and welcoming embrace. I bit my lip to keep from crying out: Lily was awake by now, and I didn’t want to make a sound. Ever the receptive lover, Richard worked his way inside me with slow and practiced thrusts, as eager to prolong the engagement as I was to contain my excitement. I thought of Lily and Daisy listening carefully near the doorway; the idea of being overheard both thrilled me and filled me with shame. 

We continued on for over an hour, taking turns pulling out before the climax. Outside my window, the sun began to rise in the sky, heralding the coming of Daisy storming up to my room to demand my presence downstairs. “Richard, five minutes!” I told him, reminding him when we had to start our day.

“Hang on tight, Rose!”

We abandoned any pretense of formality and began to rut in earnest, my back legs occasionally leaving the bed as we ground into each other. Feeling myself approaching the threshold, I wisely bit down on the pillow to keep from screaming, whinnying, or otherwise calling attention to myself as he came inside of me — setting me off as well. Instead, I just snorted loud and long before taking a shuddering gulp of air, and hoping I wasn’t as obvious as I sounded.

Of course, Richard managed his end of the bargain without so much as a sound. Show off! 

“One day, I’m going to figure out how you do that, Richard.” I climbed out of bed onto four shaky legs, grabbing a towel from the closet with my teeth, and flinging it over my back.

Richard opened the bedroom door having grabbed his own clothes, and invited me to go through. “Let's just say I’ve had quite a few incidents similar to your own back in the day. In the enlisted barracks for the Air Force, you don’t get a lot of privacy. ”

I imagined myself packed into a room with a bunch of mares, trying to clop one off without alerting them to what I was doing; I felt a surge of appreciation for the sacrifices of the Wonderbolt cadets. Having passed through my own trial without creating a third Great Disaster, I thanked the stars and walked downstairs to breakfast for another day of work.


*****


Lily was already hard at work inside the greenhouse after having loaded the cart I’d be pulling to Canterlot for a routine delivery: no arrangements or setup this time, just a basic drop and collect. I had half a mind to go talk to her right then and there, but I still wasn’t sure what to say to her. So I took the easy way out of it and trotted off without a word.

By the time I got back, the shop had closed for the day. Daisy was nowhere to be seen and Lily was securing the flower stall. Sighing, I decided the time was finally now. “This is it, Richard. I guess I better go do this…”

He nodded sagely. “Rose, just remember that’s your friend over there; she isn’t looking for reasons to hate you… and neither am I.” Richard ran his fingers through my mane, reassuringly.

And yet, she’s never had a problem with finding fault with me before. I sighed. “Cover me, Stuntman, I’m going in!”

“Once more unto the breach, dear friend, once more,”  Richard said dramatically.

“Or close the wall up with our Equestrian dead,” I added, solemnly. 

“Somehow, I doubt it will come to that,” Richard said with a smile, “good luck!”

I secured the wagon next to the greenhouse and walked over to Lily while Richard went inside the house to give us privacy. “Hey, Lily. You need some help with that?”

Lily looked up at me in surprise. She’d been pushing the stall, now up on wheels, with her head and hadn’t seen me coming. “Oh, ah, sure! So, um… how are you and Richard doing?” she asked, trying to break the ice.

“We’re doing great, Lily,” — Lily and I began pushing the stall together — “things are getting pretty serious between us.”

I caught the barest flash of disappointment in her eyes. “That’s… great, Rose. I-I don’t really understand why it’s a human that finally won you over, but I’m glad you finally found somepony.” With one last push up the ramp, we secured the stall, closed the door to the greenhouse behind us, and sat next to a cluster of zinnia pots.

Confident I’d found some privacy for the moment, I wiped my forehead and looked into her golden eyes. “Lily, I’m scared…”

Her worried expression softened. “Rose, like I’ve said before, I’ve been through this before too. Everything will be fine.” She reached for my hoof with her own.

I couldn’t help but flinch at her touch, and not because it was at all unpleasant. “All of the time we’ve been together, and this happens now!” I stamped my forehooves angrily, making her start. “How could I go for so long without telling you how special you are to me? I was so happy for you when you and Golden Harvest got together, I couldn’t help myself. But how could I tell you all of this? You, who’s spent all of this time hiding from the world and suffering in isolation? I might have taken some of that pain off of you, and helped you find your place, but I just didn’t know what to say. I-I still don’t know what to say…”

Lily was silent for a moment. She then took a visible breath and closed the distance between us until all I could see was her face. Amidst the red flags and alarm bells suddenly going off loudly inside my head, I caught a whiff of Lily’s scent — lily of the valley, appropriately enough. Cadance, help me, she’s in heat! I felt the small hairs of her muzzle brush against my own, and then I heard a gentle gasp only to realize it was my own. The heat in my cheeks and marehood growing, we began to nuzzle each other intimately, my inhibitions useless as Lily’s scent washed over me. 

“Forgive me, Rose…” Lily said softly, as she began to nuzzle my neck. “I still want you so much…”

“I… I…” my voice caught in my throat. Rose, you are doing something very stupid and will soon get caught! Stop now before you can’t!

The voice of reason was lost as my inner fooler took command of the situation. Lily’s tongue began to work its way up my neck in long, languid strokes, stopping occasionally to plant a kiss. Reaching the top, our eyes met once more and our tongues finally met; we licked each other with all the demure grace of two school fillies having their ‘first time’. In that instant, I realized just how badly I wanted to have been the source of her release that night. Perhaps I should have joined Golden Harvest...

Rose, Stop! Richard and Daisy are inside the house right now, you stupid foal! To my mingled relief and regret, the thought of Richard snapped me out of my lustful haze, causing my eyes to widen, and myself to hurriedly push back. I immediately looked around frantically for somepony watching. 

Lily had a similar sudden surge of sanity, pushing back at the same moment. “Rose, I’m… we’re…  eep!” Lily hid under a huge, elevated bed of red, yellow, and pink knockout roses. 

“We’re standing inside of a building with see-through walls!” I exclaimed, finishing her thought, making another desperate search for possible spies. Something about this greenhouse really makes me paranoid, even with nopony I can see from the inside. “W-where’s Daisy?”

“L-Last I saw her, she was out back setting up the firepit. We’re going to have all of our friends over, soon, to meet your new stallion.” Lily’s explained shakily, her normally high-pitched voice approaching ‘breezie’ levels. “I’m… afraid to look, d-did we get busted by Daisy?” 

My own heart was going a mile a minute at the thought. “There’s nopony looking, Lily, you can come out.” It is comforting to see that even after everything that’s happened to us, she’s still the same old Lily in some ways. “Let's go catch her before she catches us. It’s foalproof! We can, ah, talk later, in a less obvious venue.” 

Lily climbed out from under her thorny fortress, brushed off her coat, and smiled at me awkwardly. “I guess I never really stopped caring about you either huh? That was… wow.” Lily exhaled deeply, her cheeks still flushed. “I’ll j-just be in the back then…”

“I’ll see you there, Lily, and… yeah, that was definitely... wow.”

Lily, having been backing up mindlessly towards the door, reached it with a bump to the rump causing her to squeak again. “Um, bye!” The exalted overmare of the undignified exit turned, opened the door on this final attempt, and departed forthwith.

She should change her name to ‘Exit Strategy’. I covered my face with both hooves so much for any questions about my orientation! “At least nopony saw anything…” I mumbled to myself, knowing my world had just changed irrevocably, and not necessarily for the better.

“Your secret is safe with me, Rosie!”

“Thanks, Pink... ie?” my blood froze.

“Nopony here but us daisies!” the Pink Menace replied from somewhere inside the greenhouse.

“You saw nothing!” I shouted, leaving the greenhouse and locking the door behind me. I knew better than to ask why she was there.

“Okie Dokie Lokie!” Pinkie called back cheerfully from behind the closed door. 

I briefly considered telling somepony about Pinkie’s intrusion but changed my mind immediately. If there’s one thing every pony in Ponyville can agree on, it’s that Pinkie Pie is watching... forever.


*****


I didn’t go immediately to Richard and tell him about what happened. I remembered the fear in his eyes when I’d first brought up my Lily issue. No, this was an issue I’d settle myself once and for all, no jerking his reins for me. 

Richard and I greeted our guests in the living room within an hour of me leaving the greenhouse. Golden Harvest, pleased to see me in a less grouchy state, greeted me warmly before going out back to where Daisy and Lily were putting Daisy’s filly scout training to good use starting a fire. Linky, whose mane was tamed down to a manageable two curls in the front and one in the back with three curls on her tail, looked more civilized than ever. As if to answer my unasked question of why, her new marefriend, Twinkleshine, stood next to her.

“Hiiii Roseluck!” Twinkleshine greeted me with the voice of a grade-school filly. It’s amazing to think she’s in her late twenties. 

“Come on in, gals!” I lead them inside to the living room couches. As we were both paired off — Linky with Twinkleshine and Richard with myself — it made seating arrangements a bit confusing. Traditionally, it is considered bad form to sit alongside the members of another herd, assuming, of course, they’re guests and not members of your household. To improvise, I gave Richard the recliner and stood next to him; Linky and Twinkleshine laid on the sofa, facing each other. I offered them all hard cider, except Linky who didn’t drink alcohol, which they accepted.

“Greetings, Lucky Shot!” Linky exclaimed, addressing me affectionately by the nickname she’d given me during our snowball fights with the other Ponyville teams the previous winter. “Who’s yer human friend? He looks quite strong!”

“I’m Richard, stunt flyer and honorary pegasus. And would I be correct that you are a farmer from the Southern Region of the Gryphon Kingdom?” The Gentleman gave her a knowing look.

I was very impressed that Richard would know such an obscure piece of information. Then again, he’s probably befriended more griffons than I’ve ever met in my life. I wondered if he’d ever had sex with one and made a note of asking him sometime. I am curious about such things, or perhaps just very nosy.

Visibly impressed, Linky smiled proudly. “Oho! Yeh know a thing or two about Caleponians do yeh? Well, ye right — me sister and I were born and raised in Caleponia Province in the Shetlands and came to Ponyville after Goldie grew old enough to call herself a mare: I wasn’t about to leave her up there to brave the winters alone. We said goodbye to our friends and family, and moved here to Equestria ten years ago.” 

“What made you decide to leave? Did you just get tired of the farming and the weather?” Richard asked.

Linky scowled, a look that would terrify a lesser pony. “Oh, I hate farming. It’s all rubbish! Lots of work and when yer done, yer reward is more work and ending with winter and boredom! I wouldn’t have done it at all if I hadn’t been born into it. Not Goldie though, she just thinks there’s no better life than rooting around in the dirt and minding yer own business. Not me! Fighting’s in me blood!”

Twinkleshine giggled. “She’s not lying. She really is an ancient warrior ware at heart. Isn’t she just the greatest?” Across from her, Linky gave a silly grin that made me chuckle, which is managed to pass off as a coughing spell.

Linky reached into her saddlebag and pulled out a water bottle which she opened and picked up with her teeth, gulping it all in one swallow before setting it back down. “Yeh coming down with the cold, Lucky Shot?” she smirked, successfully fooled by my fake coughing. “Anyway, it seemed like the perfect plan: get out of farming and take Goldie someplace safe.  Well, one outta two is… sumthin’ at least. Me parents were too old for farming, and I wasn’t having anything to do with that nonsense, so they sold the farm, and moved to the nearby steadholt to live out their retirement days in peace as they’d always promised. But then...” Linky’s face went grim. 

Richard’s face fell as he assumed the worst. He wasn’t mistaken.

“Six years ago, when the Cloven of The Sun invaded, they left none alive. Me friends, both pony, and griffin, and nearly all of me family perished early in the war with nuthin’ but their courage to stand against them.” Linky’s voice never faltered, but her quivering eyes and lip grew more pronounced.

Richard moved quickly to try to salvage the situation, “Linky, I’m very…” 

“Don’t yeh apologize for nothin’!” Linky cut in, her eyes flashing as she pointed a hoof at Richard’s chest. “The Gryphon Kingdom would have fallen prey to the Cloven without the help of yer nation’s marines! Me family and friends died as heroes and their blood was avenged; I can’t ask for more than that.” Linky gazed into the eyes of her mate and placed a forehoof atop hers. Twinkleshine returned the gesture with her other hoof and nuzzled Linky’s cheek. 

I’d never seen such an open acknowledgment of vulnerability from the steely mare in my entire life. I discreetly wiped a tear from my eye, while the room gave the two of them their moment. 

Linky’s expression softened as she turned to face us, the moment gone. “I… I’m sorry. That was… not how I meant to enjoy our evening.” she choked back a sudden surge of tears.

“There was nothing you possibly could have done to stop it, Linky,” Twinkleshine said, lovingly. “At least your sister is safe, thanks to you.”

“Yeh make sense, Twinkles, as you always have. One day I might convince meself of the truth of your words, but in me heart,  I can’t help but feel me place was defending me kin as any Caleponian warrior would. I know It sounds ridiculous, but…” she couldn’t continue.

“Not at all, Linky,” Richard spoke up. “I wasn’t there, but Twinkleshine is correct that there was nothing you could do to prevent what happened. If you had been there, you and your sister would have died along with them.”

“Aye…” Linky muttered miserably.

“But, as a warrior, you feel responsible for defending your kin, as you did when you came here with your sister,” Richard said. It was a statement of fact, not a question.

Linky nodded jerkily.

Richard crossed the room slowly and knelt down next to where Linky lay on the couch, where she was staring sadly at the floor. “I’ve been lucky to have never lost a comrade in battle, but it’s something you’re always thinking about whenever you go off to war. The thing about that level of kinship, something you must carry with you at all times, is the faith that those who’ve passed on would have offered no less than their own lives that you might live. Your friends and family would be happy to know you’re still alive, and honored to know their lives and their memories meant so much to you.”

“He’s right, Linky.” I walked up to my imposing friend and placed a comforting hoof on her back. “You’re one of the coolest mares in Ponyville, and we’re all very lucky to have you alive and well.”

Linky gave a choked sob and looked at Richard, who smiled again. “Your love for your family and friends and desire to defend them does you proud, Linky. I’ve known a few, so take it from me — you’d make a fine marine.”

She sniffled hard and her eyes glistened as slowly, she extended a hoof towards him. “O- oorah.”

Richard smiled and he extended his fist until they met halfway. “Oorah.”
> Do The Right Thing Part 2
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The two of them had hit it off like old friends. Once Linky had composed herself, she told him everything about her upbringing in the Gryphon Kingdom: the rolling, golden fields of wheat the griffins used to feed their cattle, being shacked up for months on end during winter and trying not to freeze — “Every year it was another siege, and yeh lived for another chance at seeing the ground once more. Equestrians, with their lovely, thin fur coats don’t last very long up there!” 

Her favorite story was, of course, how she learned the art of slingshooting. “The griffins set much store by their skill with the crossbow. Even for those who don’t join the military, eaglets train from youth to be able to shoot accurately. O’ course, being able to hit yer target standing still is pretty useless to ‘em in battle or on the hunt, but ye also can’t exactly shoot real arrows either. So they slingshoot to train safely. Watching them battle it out in the skies made me jealous, so I made a slingshot that could fit on me legs and started challenging them. They thought it was quite funny until I started winnin’!” She gave a hearty laugh and pantomimed picking off one of the griffins with a well-placed shot.

I thought back to my own training with her lessons in anti-pegasi combat, ones we’d used to good effect with our team snowball fights the previous winter: never standing in a straight line to prevent strafing, how to lead them properly, and how to spot a feint. No wonder she was such a good tactician — in some ways, Linky had been training for battle her entire life, been remembering and honoring her roots through our little sport... to say nothing of those she’d left behind. For a moment, I forgot my own worries and thanked Celestia for the chance to know the kind of camaraderie my warrior friend had.

“How did you know about the U.S. Marines battle cry?” Richard asked Linky.

She threw back another drink — non-alcoholic, of course — before answering. “I got to know a few of them who passed through on leave. They were a pretty quiet lot and looked like they’d been to tartarus and back. I figured ‘em then for having fought the Cloven, so I asked ‘em about it. They didn’t want to talk about what happened at first, but when I told ‘em I’d family in the Kingdom, they opened up ‘n told me they’d been fighting real near where me family had lived, and the entire area had been hit hard. A couple weeks later is when I finally heard the news about me family, but… I knew right then.”

Grunting irritably at further efforts to console her, she continued. “We were hanging out one day at th’ local pub when I heard one of them make the sound and asked them what it meant. They were good folk, but sadly, they were only staying in Ponyville on leave until they could go back home.” Linky hung her head. “From what little they said, things would have gone very badly without their help but even so, they were leaving a lot ‘o friends behind... some living, some dead. I just hope they return one day to visit.”

Not wanting the rest of our party to think we’d abandoned them, we made our way out the back door and into the night. 

“It’s about time you folks showed up! I thought maybe you were throwing a better party inside.” Daisy called out as we made our appearance. 

Daisy and company had already arranged themselves in a semi-circle around the fire, leaving gaps for the rest of us. She sat next to Dizzy, naturally, while Lily and Golden Harvest talked amongst themselves. They looked up at us after hearing Daisy call out to us and I instinctively knew what they’d been talking about.

Twinkleshine wasted no time: within seconds, she’d withdrawn the materials necessary to make s’mores from her bag, and started on her first. “This is the better party now. Dig in, everypony!” We all helped ourselves to a stick and started toasting. 

Once we were all comfortable, the inquisition could begin in earnest.

“It’s wonderful that we could have you stay with us this week, Richard,” Daisy said, formally. “I hope I haven’t worked you too hard!”

You’ve worked me hard enough! I protested, silently.

Richard laughed, “Not at all! I’m glad I could do something to earn my keep around here. I would hate to be a burden on anyone.” He took another swig of hard cider from his bottle, showing no sign of intoxication. Then again, if he was used to the stronger human alcohols I hadn’t really tried myself yet, that was no real surprise.

“That’s the spirit!” Golden Harvest chimed in. “The name’s Golden Harvest, and I tend to the carrot farm with me sister, Linky. We appreciate good work ethic around these parts.”

“You’re really, big!” Lily blurted out with characteristic bluntness and with a hint of panic, drawing the attention of all about. “Sorry, it’s just… he’s really big…” her ears drooped and she fell silent.

I stoically refused to take the easy joke and allowed Richard to respond.

“Don’t let my size fool you, I’m completely harmless,” he gave her an easygoing grin and opened his palms in a friendly, peaceful gesture even ponies could recognize. “You are Roseluck’s friend, Lily, yes?” 

Lily nodded and glanced up at him before turning to look at me. As difficult a time as she had with giving other ponies eye contact, I could only imagine how hard this alien from another dimension must be for her to deal with, doubly so for him being a meat-eater. “That’s sweet to hear you call me a friend, Rose,” Lily’s mouth curled up into a weak smile before faltering and looking up at him, alarmed. “Oh, I don’t mean to say that she isn’t a friend, it’s just that I haven’t always been a good friend to her...”

“It’s okay, Lily. We’re all friends here, just relax!” Daisy said in an encouraging tone. 

Lily drew courage from her intervention, and more from the hard cider before continuing. “Thanks, Daisy.” Lily now looked at Richard directly. “I haven’t met very many humans before and I don’t know much about them, but I’m told they prefer matched pairings to herding?” 

I didn’t like where this was going and had no way to stop it from getting there. Unable to act, I downed the bottle of cider I’d been sipping on in one chug. I am so dead!

“That’s right,” Richard replied, showing no concern for the trap he was unknowingly springing on me. “Though a few of us have gone native and joined herds. A long time ago, there were many polygamist cultures, and a few still exist today. I guess some people have it in them to split themselves emotionally between two or more people — or ponies — but I can’t do it. It’s not that I think it’s bad or immoral; I just have this romantic concept of two people, living together for the rest of their lives.” 

Lily nodded, her expression impassive. “Like Princess Cadance.”

“She’s quite famous for that, isn’t she?” Richard said, grinning. Not being on teeth-baring terms with these ponies, he kept his pointy incisors hidden, giving me renewed appreciation for how thorough his Gentleman training must have been. “I’m glad it doesn’t sound completely alien to ponies.”

“Not at all, Richard,” Twinkleshine put her arm around Linky’s back, “I wouldn’t mind having Linky all to myself one bit!”

To my surprise, Linky sighed.

“Oh, don’t be silly, love! If we find the right stallion, then, of course, we’ll have foals.” Twinkleshine nuzzled her discouraged mate.

Linky responded with her own nuzzle, but still looked somewhat put upon. “What we mean to say, Richard, is that yeh’re in good company.” Removing her marshmallow from the fire, she placed it on the graham cracker and offered it to Twinkleshine who accepted it with her levitation.

With no further comment from Lily, I silently thanked her with a bow. Had she mentioned what we’d done, there would be the Cerberus to pay. I’d given in to her, shared a moment of passion with her and sought to send her away quietly only to have it come to this: casting her off publicly before she became a scandal. She deserved so much more from me that I could not give her. Oh, Lily, I begged her silently, please please please don’t hate me for this…

I cleared my throat, gaining everyone’s attention. “Well I, for one, think it’s sweet that he has it in him to commit to a mare like that. I trust him, even when he’s miles away. He may not look like us or even think like us, but he’s as faithful a stallion as they come.”

“Thank you, Rose.” He took my hoof in his hand and kissed it. “I’ll do my best to never violate your trust.”

Daisy listened with an impressed air, then gave me a knowing grin. “Have to say, Rose, I’ve known you long enough to know that pairing is not something you take lightly. I never thought I’d see the day when you settling down would ever come up!”

“Thank you,” I acknowledged, though my own good humor was forced as I looked over at Lily apologetically only to see that she was looking despondently into the fire. I took heart that Golden Harvest had cast me a sympathetic look: for one, she understood my dilemma, and for another, the powerfully built mare could take me in a fight with ease. 

“I’ve only known yeh for a couple hours and yet I feel like I’ve gone into battle with yeh, Richard. Yeh’re alright by me!” Linky proclaimed, offering to bump hooves with him again.

“I trust you too big guy. Have a s’more!” Twinkleshine levitated the one she’d cooked and gave it to Richard and ate the one Linky had given her.

“Thanks, everypony. Roseluck is very lucky to have such wonderful friends, and I’m just as lucky for having Roseluck. I hope we all become the best of friends.”

Daisy toasted Richard with her third bottle of cider. “I’m sure we all will, Richard. And now that we’ve dispensed with the formalities, let's drink!”


*****


I had to give Lily some credit, she stuck it out with Golden Harvest at her side and remained with the rest of us while we whiled away the night with the others. She even told Richard that he seemed nice and apologized for calling him ‘big’.

In response, Richard put on a hurt air. “But I am big! Aren’t I Rose?” he joked.

“Yes you are, monster!” I replied, smacking him on the rear with my tail.

Golden Harvest laughed and shook her head. “I kin already see yeh’re going to have yer hands full with that one, Rose!”

Later that night, Richard and his new friend Linky waxed eloquent on the nature of what it means to be a warrior. In the end, they both agreed that it was best to risk it all for their friends than not since ‘you’re going to die anyway’ as Richard put it. 

I found the concept hard to understand to say the least. I much prefer being alive for as long as possible to being dead for any length of time, but my train of thought was interrupted as the pair went on.

“Yeh’ve convinced me to go back, Richard. I need to find any of my friends who may still be alive and help ‘em rebuild. I couldn’t be of any help to them during the war, but I can’t just sit here and do nothing.” Linky looked over at Twinkleshine, “I’m not saying yeh need to join me, Twinkle: The Southern Shetlands of the Gryphon Kingdom are still in bad shape, and we’d be roughin’ it a lot of the time. But I’d appreciate yer company all the same.” 

Twinkleshine nodded solemnly. “I’m sure Princess Twilight can spare me for a while, especially to help a friend. I won’t make you do this alone.” 

The two nuzzled and returned to their discussion with Richard, who sounded surprised at Twilight’s mention, sparking an animated discussion of the Princess’s past in Ponyville.

As the night dragged on and the booze ran low, ponies started to leave. After holding out for most of the night, Lily cleaned up and went up to bed. Golden Harvest stuck around the longest, joining us inside after we put the fire out and cleaned up. While Richard was bathing, Golden Harvest took me aside and told me that she knew about what happened between Lily and I. Expecting trouble, I was relieved to hear that she wasn’t upset.

“Rose, I know this will sound a bit… direct, but if I had the opportunity to boldly go where no mare has gone before with yeh, I would. In fact, if it weren’t for Richard, I might be asking Lily to share yeh with me.” Golden Harvest looked at me with hooded eyes.

My mind flashed back to the sounds Lily had been making that fateful night and the idea of the three of us together now sounded like a tempting prospect. Would I pair myself off with Lily, our tongues and hooves roaming freely over each other while she worked her own considerable talents on us both? Maybe Golden Harvest would insist on having a round with me personally, laying me on my back and spreading my hind legs before putting her practiced tongue to work on my sensitive flower while Lily watched, demonstrating to her less-experienced pupil how to reduce me to squeaks, moans, and desperate invocations to Celestia. They might even combine their efforts and initiate me into the fillyfooling arts by sandwiching me between them, pleasuring me while I gave pleasure to the other mare, thus earning my place in the herd through practice and practical demonstration…

They might also both strap on their coolers and take turns rutting me under the tail in a display of ironic justice for the ignominious fate of Lily’s old bedsheets.

Ignoring the stifling heat which replaced the cool, night air, I wiped the newly-formed perspiration from my brow and answered as casually as I could muster, “I dunno, Goldie, you might have to pay for dinner first.”

The Caleponian carrot farmer smiled at me knowingly, noting my tail dangling low between my hind legs to defend against a sudden ambush. “Yeh’re adorable, Rosie!” Composing herself, her tone became more serious. “You are sure about him, then?”

“I am Golden Harvest. Please take good care of Lily for me.”

“I will, Rosie. By Celestia, I will.” The two of us hugged and after saying goodbye to me and Daisy, she went back home.

The night’s frivolities over, it was time to turn my attention back to more immediate matters — I’d put things off with Lily for long enough. Steeling myself, I told Richard what I had to do and he nodded his head in agreement. “Do what you have to do, but only what you can live with,” was how he put it to me before going to bed, kneeling down to hug and kiss me. After bathing myself — no use in looking anything less than my best, even for a “let’s just be friends” talk — I took the long march upstairs and found myself in front of Lily’s room. There was light on inside. I raised a hoof to knock on the door, and let it fall back to the floor again, cursing myself.

While I tried to decide what to say, Lily called out from inside, “Rose, is that you out there?”

Satisfied that at least I wasn’t interrupting her while she was clopping, I called back, “Um, yeah, it’s me. May I come in?” 

“Sure.” Lily’s voice came back, calm and relaxed.

This had been the first time I’d ever come to observe the Lily in her natural habitat and felt decidedly out of sorts given the circumstances. My heart hammering in my chest, I took deep, steadying breaths, and opened the door.





Lily was lying on her belly reading a comic book, one hoof draped over it to mark her page while she looked up at me eagerly.  Thankfully, she’d opened a window to air out the smell of her estrus, but I still found the sight of her hard to resist. Her unstyled mane, liberated from its hairspray sarcophagus, lay against the back of her neck in eight, long strands of gold, still wet from her bathing. The sweet smell of her lily flowers, combined with her musk and outside air created an irresistible mélange of scent. I found myself fumbling for words before Lily was able to break the spell with her voice.

“I know you’ve messed up badly in the past, but I haven’t banned you from sitting up here!” Lily said sweetly, patting the bed beside her. “You said we needed to talk?” 

In a dark corner of my mind, the thought of continuing where we’d left off back at the greenhouse resurfaced, but was quickly pushed back into the shadows. I joined her up on the bed and laid down beside her, curious about her upbeat attitude. “Lily, about earlier… we kind of both got blindsided there. I don’t want to leave you with the wrong idea…”

Lily visibly deflated but only slightly, like she knew I was going to say it but still held out some faint hope. “Rose, I know it’s never going to happen between us. I knew this from the day I began to fall for you, and I’ve settled with that.”

“But earlier, you… we…” I wondered who this mare was and what she’d done with Lily Valley. Was she tied up and in the closet?

“I couldn’t resist, Rose. I saw it in your eyes: you knew at that moment what I’ve known for years and…” Lily looked to be forcing back the urge to say or do something rash, “... I just needed — we just needed to have something to remember each other by.”

I caught a whiff of hard apple cider on her breath and understood why she was being so relaxed. I only hoped she hadn’t overdone it. “More memorable than the time you tucked me in? Never going to happen!”

Lily groaned and buried her muzzle in her pillows. “I can’t believe I did that to you! Discord or not, that got waaay out of hoof!”

“I gave you a pass for enjoying yourself so much.” I teased. 

She burrowed deeper into her blankets not unlike I had with the sofa cushions when I was being interrogated over the identity of my new coltfriend by Daisy. “You’re the worst, Rose!”

“Not a phrase I hear very often. To be fair though, you were my first filly…” I sniggered into my hoof as I watched her pile blankets on top of herself, hiding from the world like a foal would. Seeing that, I took back my earlier thought — this was still our bashful Lily!

“That’s not what I meant!” Even in a buzzed state, somehow Lily was still stuck up about our time together. 

We stopped talking for a moment. All that could be heard was the sound of my giggling and Lily’s occasional groan as a memory resurfaced. Either that or the hangover was kicking in already. 

“Seriously though, what was your favorite part of our time together?” I asked quietly, unable to contain my morbid curiosity. “For me it was… when we nuzzled each other. I’ve never experienced anything quite like that before with a stallion. It was one of the most intimate and wonderful moments I’ve ever shared with anypony.” I shivered at the memory as a surge of electricity shot through me. 

Silence and finally, after allowing my confession to hang in the air between us, she finally spoke. “Your neck…” she mumbled pitifully.

I blinked and looked up — of all things she might have said, that was pretty low on my list! “My what?” 

Lily emerged from her cocoon and slowly coaxed herself into giving me eye contact. “Your neck, Rose. I’ll never forget how amazing it was to finally kiss your long... perfect... neck! There, I said it! Ugh!” She pulled the pillow back over her head.

My heart all but melted — how could it not for such an adorable answer and display? “Lily... I’m proud of you for admitting that,” I told my friend to her back as she faced away from me. “You’ve really come a long way in a short period of time.”

“Th-thanks, Rose,” Lily said sweetly, though her voice was still muffled by the pillow.

More silence followed as we both became entangled in our own thoughts. At some length, Lily quietly turned back to face me and caught my eye. “Rose... what are we going to do now?”

The sixty-thousand-bit question, I thought to myself. It was my turn to remain silent when the obvious answer finally made itself known to me, leaving me as reluctant as her to voice it. “It’s like you said, isn’t it? We never really stood much of a chance as marefriends.” My own shoulders slumped as I admitted the hard truth.

“Yeah…” By the sound of it, Lily knew I was right, but it still wasn’t the answer she wanted to hear.

“But... in all this time we’ve been living together, we’ve never really gotten to know each other as proper friends either.” I draped a leg over the sweet-smelling mare. “I’d like to fix that if you’ll let me. This isn’t the end for us, Lily, just a new beginning. We don’t have to be lovers in order to be friends, you know. We still have each other, and past that…” my grin turned slightly ironic. “We’ll always have our last kiss together.”

Lily’s cheeks blushed and eyes lit up. “You mean… you really want to hang out with me?”

I nodded eagerly. “Yeah! You may not think about it much, but you’re actually a pretty cool mare. You’ve bested the unicorns in snowball fights, shot our leader in the face with the garden hose, hooked up with an awesome mare from over the Great Ocean... you should be showing yourself off to all of Equestria!” I stood up on Lily’s bed and made an impressive sweeping motion with the hoof not hanging on to Lily.

Lily ears drooped, clearly unconvinced. “But I’m so boring!”

“Shooting Linky in the face is not boring!” I exclaimed. “You’re just looking for excuses not to talk to other ponies. You gave Golden — er, ‘Goldie’ a chance, now give yourself a chance. Everypony I talk to is interested to know more about you, and that includes Richard.”

Lily suddenly looked panicked, clutching her sheets to her as if to ward off an attacker. “Richard! Does he know what happened? Does he know you’re with me right now? Is he going to get mad? Is he going to eat me?” she all but squeaked out the last words.

I burst out laughing. I couldn’t help it; clearly, the old Lily was still there even as the new one was taking root within her. I hugged her hard and stroked her mane. “It’s okay, Lily. He knows I’m here. He isn’t upset about anything we’ve done and trusts us to do the right thing,” I told her, resisting the temptation to her about some of our predator play where eating me did come into the picture. “So, do we have a deal?”

Lily beamed and offered me her hoof. “Deal!” 

I bumped it back and settled in next to her. Straightening out the badly twisted sheets, Lily showed me the comic she’d been looking at: Power Ponies. Promising to return the next night to read more, I nuzzled her goodnight and left her to her comics, walking down the hall to my room. 

Entering and climbing into bed carefully as not to disturb Richard, he turned over and looked at me, spoiling my effort. “So how’d it go, Rose?” he asked, sounding like he was holding his breath — he must have honestly thought there was still a chance I would choose Lily, even that we might have done it given the amount of time I was gone! 

“We let each other down easy, you might say,” I said, matter-of-factly, slipping in beside him and kissing him. “We’re not going to be lovers, but I do want to be part of her life. I’ve spent so much time with her without really being a friend, and now I want to make up for that. I know I’ll never be able to express my feelings for her fully, and I’m okay with that, but I wish to remain near to her... be the friend she deserves.”

I felt him relax, exhaling softly. “No Las Pegasus condominium for you, eh?” Richard scratched his head, quickly reverting to usual joking self. “I imagine it’ll be tough for me to find work around Ponyville, but I’ll try my best.”

“I’ll work too, Richard; you don’t have to do everything yourself.” I placed my hoof in his hand. “We’re in this together.”

“Together,” Richard repeated, kissing me on the muzzle. “A friend of yours is a friend of mine. But…” he wiggled his eyebrows mischievously at me. “You may have to settle your score with Blossomforth if we’re going to live here.” 

Oh, horseapples!
> Epilogue: Paid in Full
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


One year later…


I’ve been living in my new apartment a mile south of Ponyville’s city limit for half a year now, and I still can’t shake the habit of waking up early in the morning. Richard, ever the gentleman, had already woke up to head to Cherry Berry’s hangar at the new Ponyville Airport, and let me sleep in a full thirty minutes. Better than a bucket of water over my head to be certain but I’d rather wake up with the sun like normal ponies.

Finding the pull switch on my electric lamp in the darkness, my eyes caught the first of two letters on my nightstand. I’d taken to re-reading them before I went to sleep instead of filing them away. The first was from Linky, who’d reached the Gryphon Kingdom safely months earlier, thank Celestia, and said she would write again as soon as possible, but from what she’d seen, the Shetland Provinces had been left a wasteland that even with all the magical and human assistance available would take a while to recover from. For the foreseeable future, she would be lucky to have access to a post office, much less a new cell phone tower to get reception from.  

“Twinkleshine’s magic is amazing, but she hasn’t got dragonfire to send messages like Twilight,” Linky explained in her letter, referring to our Princess of Friendship’s young drake servant, Spike. In any case, she’d have her own protection available in the form of patrolling griffins and guardsponies, and unlike water balloons and snowballs, their projectiles — and the foreleg-mounted crossbow that she herself now wielded — would do far more than just hurt somepony’s feelings. 

Celestia help the fool that tries to mess with her! I’d thought, shaking my head at the idea.

She told me she had a griffin in Arnau who would pick up her mail, but that I could expect serious delays between replies. I wrote back wishing her the safest path through the wasteland and to keep in touch as often as she could. 

The second letter was from the writer of the Manehatten Post’s Gentleman For Mares articles: Five Stars. This one was much older than the last, written just before she’d taken the portal to Earth months earlier. Before she left, I had the honor of getting to meet her at the mine and Richard’s wedding. She wished us both luck and told me the entire hope of Gentleman For Mares was to bring about the very situation Richard and I now found ourselves in — a happily matched pair. While she said it was ‘regrettable’ for Gentleman For Mares to lose such a talented Gentleman, she went on to note that in the long run, it was the best possible outcome as there was ‘one less lonely mare in Equestria’. 

I chuckled to myself. Me lonely? Never! She did have a point though: even after what happened, or nearly happened with Lily, I hadn’t regretted my decision to marry Richard one bit and I had no nostalgia for the days of stallion searching. Likewise, I don’t think Richard regretted leaving Gentleman for Mares and settling down with me… though to my occasional chagrin, he had certainly retained his appetite for adventure and dangerous fun!

With a couple hours before work to burn, I went into the kitchen to do some cleaning up. The land around Cherry’s hangar was now home to a growing industrial park and is the reason we have to thank for our current home. It wasn’t the Shemareaton I’d stayed in during a recent visit to Manehattan, but my new apartment was not far behind, at least to somepony like me whose sources of light once came from kerosene lamps and open windows. Everything was now powered by electricity generated by our local and newly hydroelectric dam, even the oven. I had a modest refrigerator compared to the one back at the hotel, but it kept the food cold, and the light shut off when the door was closed (at least I think it did!). Our new home was everything I could have dreamed! 

After wiping down the kitchen counters and mopping the tiled kitchen floor, I went to work in the living room with the vacuum, starting with the left side facing out. This wall was dedicated to Richard’s side of our happy family: family members, lots of pegasus and griffin friends he’s made throughout his time in Equestria, and a poster autographed by Rainbow Dash. She hadn’t taken her rejection back at the Gala personally, and the two of them had become fast friends when she found out he was working to build flying machines to allow flightless pegasi like her godchild, Scootaloo, and non-pegasi ponies the chance to experience the convenience of air travel — once the technology was perfected and fully integrated with Equestrian magic, of course. 

Maneuvering around Richard’s lifting equipment on the left wall facing out, I made my way to the other side of the room. The infrastructure for broadcast television hasn’t been constructed yet, but we already had a purchased a new T.V. and had watched many a movie and shared more than a few bowls of popcorn in front of it.

On my side of the living room, hanging over the sofa, were pictures of my friends and family. Lily and Golden Harvest stood side by side in the far left frame; the two of them were still very much a happy couple and I daresay still in their honeymoon phase. Despite opening up a great deal in the last year, Lily hadn’t shown much inclination towards finding a stallion to form a herd with, but for Golden Harvest’s part, she wasn’t pushing the issue. The two of them vastly preferred mares to stallions anyway and were happy just to have each other.

The middle frame next to Lily and Golden Harvest held a picture of what I suspected was going to become a new herd — Daisy and Dizzy Twister, plus one of my old coltfriends, Time Turner, and his now-longtime fillyfriend, the mailmare Derpy Hooves. The four of them were beginning to see a lot of each other these days and it wouldn’t surprise me at all if they finally decided to make it official. To be sure, they would be cramped for space with all four of them in the old flower house even once Lily moved out. At least they wouldn’t have issues bringing down a wall or two with Derpy around if they decided to remodel, though I shook my head at the memory of the great Town Hall destruction by her hooves. It’s a miracle this town still stands, all things considering.

On the far right frame, Lyra heartstrings, Bon-Bon and Sam stood smiling. Sam was a rarity among humans: a human man in a herd. It only seemed natural though, it was Ponyville’s worst kept secret that Lyra and Bon-Bon were a matched pair, and while Bon-Bon was initially cold towards humans at first, that’s normally how she relates to everypony. I wondered if he’d taught her to play the guitar yet and made a note to give her a call later and ask.

With Celestia’s sun due up in an hour, I locked up the apartment and walked out into the early morning. It had felt odd to be walking to my old home at first as if it was just another shop that I happened to work at. I’d ate, slept, and occasionally even had a good rut there. They were good times. But all good things must end, and life must move on. And I wouldn’t give up my current one for anything. 

At least I still had my friends, my trusty slingshot, and another earth ponies vs. unicorns day at the flower shop. Even without Linky here, we had the honor of earth ponies to uphold. And besides, I can’t very well let down those who come to appreciate my wet fur, after all!






- The End -