Chapter 1
Dear Princess Twilight,
Things on this side of the pond have been going pretty well. Since the whole school had seen what we did, everyone's become less hostile to me. Even Trixie's let up.
We don't exactly know what happened to The Dazzlings. We went to look for them after you went back through the portal but had no such luck. I guess since they couldn't sing anymore, they decided there was no reason for them to stay here in Canterlot.
I don't blame them. I would've left too had you not convinced the girls to give me a second chance.
Speaking of the girls....They've been so nice to me. I don't know how I could ever repay them for the kindness they've shown me. I honestly think I don't deserve friends like them.
Or you.
Especially you. Princess of Friendship or not, I nearly killed you and the girls and you all turned your cheeks like it was nothing. I still feel horrible for my actions towards you all and the rest of Canterlot High. I wish there was some way to repent for my wrong doings. Any ideas?
Yours in friendship, Sunset Shimmer.
Sunset closed the book and sighed as it flashed, sending Twilight her message. She was alone at the group's usual lunch table, since the rest of the girls were in the music room, practicing.
She was now a part of the band as much as they all were, but sometimes Sunset liked to be by herself so that she could write to Twilight in peace without Pinkie over her shoulder shouting out things to tell the princess.
She propped her head up on her hand and looked around the cafeteria, disinterested. Things have been pretty mundane since the battle of the bands. Aside from some normal trouble like fights or the occasional argument, there really wasn't anything going on at CHS that could be considered note worthy.
Or interesting enough to report to a princess.
Granted, that should be a good thing since a few weeks ago the entire world rested on her and the others' shoulders. Boring should be good. Boring should be the best thing ever.
But it wasn't. When things got boring, Sunset got bored. And when she got bored, at least, in her past, she'd stir up trouble. That wasn't something she was considering doing now, though. Not with the progress she's made on her road to redemption and the friends she's aquired.
But now instead of making others miserable, she was making herself miserable by over thinking everything. She was becoming antsy, and the temptation to be evil again was always at the forefront of her mind.
She prayed to Celestia that it was just a momentary relapse, and not something that would stick around forever. Because if she ever caved, the world would see an evil it has never seen.
Of course, she would write an urgent letter to Twilight before that ever happened so that the girls could zap her with the Elements again. But she wasn't so sure they would work the second time around.
A tray clattered onto the table and Sunset looked up to see Applejack sit down next to her in her usual seat. "Ya'll didn't come to practice again today," She said conversationally, but side glancing the older girl. "Somethin' botherin' you sug?"
Ah, the always intuitive Applejack. Aside from Pinkie and Rarity, she was someone who could tell what someone else was feeling just by the way that they sighed.
"Not really," Sunset lied. "Just, I kinda wanted to be alone for a while." She responded, biting into the apple that had been sitting on her now cold tray all period.
"So ya'll come to a crowded cafeteria?" Applejack asked skeptically. "C'mon Sunset. Ah may fit the stereotype but Ah sure as hell ain't no dumb hick."
Sunset slumped in response. "Yeah, sorry." She mumbled half-heartedly.
"Part of the perks of having friends is being able ta have people who can help ya with yer problems," Applejack reminded her, putting a hand on Sunset's shoulder. "All this lone wolf stuff is kind of redundant when you got people who care about ya."
She had a point. "Well-" Sunset was cut off by the book buzzing. That was odd. Twilight's responses would usually take a few hours. She looked around once before opening it.
Dear Sunset,
It's nice to hear that things are going well over on your end. Things are pretty great here too. I know you're wondering why I responded so quickly. I know it's very unusual for me because I rarely do thanks to my daily duties and what not.
But I couldn't help but notice the note of anxiety in your letter. I would ask if everything is truly alright, but that would be completely redundant since it's very clear that things aren't. I don't have much time but I will say this.
Sunset Shimmer, you have changed so much since the first time we met. You are a kind, strong minded, strong willed person with a heart of gold. It's not up to me to decide whether or not you have redeemed yourself enough or what you need to do to atone for your past behavior.
It is up to you.
You must decide for yourself if you are truly reformed. I am not you so I cannot tell you what to feel. But if you ever need someone to help you with this, you can always write me and I will always respond when I can.
Yours in friendship, Twilight Sparkle.
Sunset's eyebrows furrowed. It was up to her? What did Twilight mean by that? Aren't there higher forces that are supposed to decide her fate for her? And if not, then what was she supposed to do? The desire burning in her heart was starting to burble up again, making even the smallest good willed decisions seem asinine.
She hadn't noticed that the other girls had sat down at the table until she felt five pairs of eyes on her.
"Are you are alright, darling?" Rarity asked, taking her hand compassionately.
"Yes! I'm fine! Would people please stop asking me that?!" The older girl blurted in blind anger, banging her fists on the table.
The loud sound disturbed the flow of conversation in the crowded cafeteria, causing many to look over at their table.
Sunset jumped up from her seat, the chair making a screeching sound across the linoleum floor as she stomped out into the hallway.
Pinkie Pie reached over her own food to get to Sunset's now abandoned tray and snatched up her bitten apple, biting into it herself.
"Pinkie!" The other girls shouted in various tones of disgust.
"What?! It's not like she's gonna come back and finish it!" Pinkie said defensively, taking another bite.
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Kind of a scary looking covert art, plus I love the story :)
Good start. Sunset Shimmer is one of my favorite characters now, and this is almost like how I'd envision her struggle.
Can't wait for more.
Looks promising. But then, it's you. I'm tracking.
So far it's a bit too short to make much of it, so I withhold like so far, but you have me watching.
Sunset stories are good as long as they are well written. Im watching for more
So far, you've written this very well. The characterization is great, the pacing feels natural, as does the dialogue and emotions, and the premise is very interesting indeed. I am officially hooked, and will anxiously await further chapters! :D
Pinkie F
ing Pie everybody!
I'm in.
In the first Equestria Girls movie, the villain is voiced by Twilight's singing voice.
In the second Equestria Girls movie, the villain is voiced by Rarity's singing voice.
In Friendship is Magic, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy's voice actors all do their singing roles as well.
In the third Equestria Girls movie, the villain should totally be voiced by Pinkie's singing voice.
By the way, that's Misa from Death Note.
An interesting start. I have a few nitpicks:
a part
This should be either "looked around the cafeteria disinterestedly" or "looked around the cafeteria, disinterested".
the others' shoulders
I don't understand how it's redundant—that is, abnormal profusion, or unnecessary duplication of effort. Does Applejack mean it's pointless?
5505063 Pinkie Pie's singing voice is already providing a voice to Silver Spoon.
There is a lot of ideas people would of what the Third movie of Equestria Girls would be like.
Now back how I think about the story and this chapter! I mainly think Sunset can Redeem herself it's just that she can't get over what happen during the Fall Formal Dance (the First movie), I bet she can, she just need to be more heroic (mainly kind, calm, collective, greatful, nice, and determined in a good way) later on.
Wonderful start you have here. I always did find it irksome that blasting Sunset with the Element of Magic seemed to automatically make everyone filled with rainbows and sunshine. I'm glad to see Sunset's past actions run deeper than that, and that she will have to struggle in order to truly be redeemed in the eyes of others and herself. Aside from a few sentences that slip into present tense, there really aren't any glaring grammatical errors, either. I look forward to reading further!
so far I like this, definitely gonna follow it :)
wait... if this is a fanfic about what could happen in the next equestria girls, is human twilight going to be in it!