Yay! I just finished reading a really shitty story and desperately needed something to wash the taste out of my mouth and *bam* here it is!

if(worn = yes){
while(Power>1 && worn == yes){
if(AmbientTemp >= Wearer_Natural_Temp * .80 && Power<15000){
AmbientTemp = AmbientTemp * .98 ∴ Power += AmbientTemp * .01
}
else{
Power--
AmbientTemp++
}
}
}
else{
if(Power<=15000){
AmbientHeat = AmbientHeat * 0.95 ∴ Power += AmbientHeat * 0.05
}
else{
wait 1 second
}
}

Thank you Computer Science classes for letting me understand this.

Amazing chapter. The interaction between Mirror and Rd was funny and I admit that Twi and Emeris working together with Rarity to make runes was a great scenes. The tense interaction between Emeris, Grave, and the Zebra (his name is too much of a drag) was great. I really like how Grave's beliefs about magic contrasts with Twilight and nearly led to blows. Also, I like how close Twilight became to Emeris and the slight crush she has on Punic. The shifting POVs of the characters was a great detail, especially the POVs of Fluttershy and Rarity. Anyhow, I love the chapter and I hope the next one comes soon because it was one hell of a cliffhanger.

I think Qubanna, Grave and Punic is the most interesting characters, mostly due to us not knowing why that act as they do. We don't really know their stories and how they became who they are here. But there are hints to some really interesting backstories to these characters.
The rest of the crew don't really gives the same feeling that there is a complex history to their characters. Not that it makes them uninteresting as characters, but the three I named are the ones I feel are given hints to having intriguing backstories and thus makes them more interesting at this point in the story. But then again, the none of the new characters haven been given that much screen time outside of conversations so we will see how they will act in different situations.

Also 5512712 :
The feeling when computer science classes makes you understand epic fantasy adventure about small, colourful, magical horses

Let's see what happens.
I hope for gratuitous violence.
~Adjier

Qubanna’s unusual coloration made things difficult, that dark blue-gray would be hard to match or compliment even at her Boutique, but she had some cloth to match the color of her dark armor at least. The best she could do for a rune color though was gold. How dreadfully boring! And she was repeating herself as well!

And Qubanna! Designing for a zebra could be incredibly frustrating.

Isn't that first Qubanna supposed to be Shadow Play?

Why must you do this to us-
And by that, I mean me.

Magic Fist was my favorite spell in Age of Wonders 2, and to see it again is the most frustrating tease! Anyways, looks like we're gettin' it started now, aren't we?

Another male should have been competition, but she knew him well enough to believe that her friend likely thought he was doing the right thing. But a stallion seeking to join a herd had to gain the approval of the stallion already present, or head stallion in the rare case there were multiples.

Ah, a clash of cultural values. So delightful.

“Also known as: I cheat,” I interjected, now scowling. This felt too familiar in the worst way, “I don’t have the actual skill of a sixth degree master, but I know some shortcuts and tricks so I can operate near that level by essentially cheating.” I looked around at the four ponies in the aisle, “Now are we done with this? Rarity has work to do and everybody should rest up, we arrive today.”

I turned fully to walk between Grave Danger and Quiet Mirror, making a beeline for the booth Dash and Applejack were sitting at near the door. Conversation fucking over.

I love how this part came out.
It shows that Emeris is still angsty and emo over his issues, and more importantly; that it's not cool.

That cliffhanger! Damn it! Now I'm going to be squirming for weeks.

Fun Fact: In a traditional magic system, Emeris' habit of conjuring objects made of force would be considered evocation.

I'm looking forward to seeing him go all dark and creepy on things. And I can't help but wonder if he even knows that he does that. I don't remember anyone actually telling him that he could unconsciously channel raw dark magic, and he never even seems to think about the use of dark magic as a possibility, even only to himself.

5512596 What story should i avoid?

Love Grave Danger.

His shattering of their "sunshine" worldview is hilarious.

5513829 Shining Dash. It was flooded with technical errors, continuity errors, major mood whiplash of both the story and characters, poor pacing, logical fallacies, missing words, and awkward sentence structure. But, even though I hated it after the first five chapters, I still finished everything published to date in the name of fairness before downvoting and running for the brain bleach.

… black on white, definitely black on white.

Black and White86bb71d19d3bcb79effc-d9e6924a0395cb1b5b9f03b7640d26eb.r91.cf1.rackcdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/pokemon-black-and-white-colorful-wallpaper.jpg

Yeah, you're pretty evil.

He was very pretty though, he had a strong jaw and nice XXX eyes

His XXX eyes locked with mine as he gave me a sneer but I didn’t flinch.

I've never heard of that color before.

Anyways, pornographic eyes aside, this was a great chapter. You are a sick and horrible monster for ending it like that, though. You're bad and you should feel bad.

More seriously, I like how you've fleshed out your new OC's. Good to know that Qubanna is a loyal follower of the Princess, less good to know he's suspicious of Emeris. If he figures out that he was Gary Stu, that could end badly. Shadow Play and Cumulus Rose are interesting--a shy Wonderbolt? Not something I ever expected to encounter in a fic.

Punic doesn't get that much depth, but I'm guessing there's some plot significance behind that. Also good to see the possible interest with Twilight--both from the perspective of hoping for a new and interesting pairing, and from the discovery of Emeris's jealousy over it, thus making the possible Emeris/Twilight pairing just a bit more likely. Regardless of either, the way they geek out with one another over runes is adorkable. So cute, even if just friend-cute. And I like how she and everypony else try to get Emeris to accept that he does praise-worthy things (and that Twilight wasn't upset at the I'm-in-Charge-Gary-Face). Although I'm worried about Shining Armor's reaction to Emeris, and to learning that Emeris is friends with his sister.

... You mentioned once that Emeris picked up some things from Twilight's head even as she picked up his interest in mares? Could it be that what he picked up is the "Sunshine Sunshine" dance? If so... I do not believe any scale has been created sufficient to measure how embarrassing such a scene would be. Speaking of which, will Cadance be managing better than she did in the actual episode? She's had another two years of presumably happy marriage with Shining Armor, and while not an emotion eater I can only think that would be a healthy thing for an alicorn of love. And there's the the army of other ponies that may be able to help the shield. Sure, it's a love-shield, but with 200 ponies there's got to be a few who can contribute something.

Quiet Mirror adds in a new dynamic. I wouldn't have thought of him as a possible thorn in the side of the existing Rainbow Dash/Applejack/Emeris relationship, but Rarity is rarely wrong about these sorts of things. But considering that he's attractive, attentive, and a big fan of Rainbow Dash--also taking into account that she has huge self-image issues, that she probably would have a harder time imagining the monogamous viewpoint than Rarity, and that ponies have a polygamous society, it isn't out of the question that she wouldn't see anything wrong with bringing another stallion into the herd. If Emeris is seeing it as a matter of "she won't return his interest because she would never betray me", then he may miss that she wouldn't necessarily consider it to be a betrayal. If caught early enough, she could stay away as she realizes how much it would hurt Emeris (who almost certainly isn't emotionally capable of handling it, regardless of his opinions on polygamy, and polyandry in specific), but if it isn't addressed for a long enough stretch of time, she could put Quiet's feelings for her on the same level as Emeris's.
I'm trying to keep an open mind, but my first reaction to some character I don't know butting their way into a relationship (be they male or female) is to glare at they and bare my fangs.

Grave Danger is even more of an asshole than the was in the first chapter, but I like that we get to see some redeeming features (although Twilight is certainly right in her assessment of him, short of the "monster" part). Although considering that it is Necromancy, and that I can only imagine what it takes to learn or use Vice Magic--but it probably isn't conductive to being a nice pony. That Grave Danger has been only a jerk, and has in his own quiet way ceded some measure of respect to Emeris, speaks highly of his moral fiber, if not his niceness fibers. That said, depending on how Necromancy and Vice Magic are learned, and how they work in this story (seriously, these are concepts that have so widely applied that I can only guess at the general nature of how they'll be used in any given story), he could actually be a complete, revolting monster. I hope that not too much of Twilight's judgment of him comes from his specialties in magic, though, considering that Emeris uses Dark Magic--which is down there with all the other "bad" magical disciplines.

I'm worried about Applejack. Does she feel that her relationship with Emeris isn't as strong as that between him and Rainbow Dash? Does she feel hesitant now that she knows how badly fucked in the head Emeris is? Does she worry that if they fix Emeris he wouldn't forgive her for... something--guilt isn't all that rational? Feel bad because Emeris had to basically be poked and prodded to accept both her and Rainbow, and she thinks that from the preexisting friendship between him and Dash means he would have chosen Dash over her? Is she worrying that he's going to violently snap? Is she guilty that she ate the last of his Races Paces, and knows that such a sin would have her cast out of Ponyville and Equestria altogether? Is she worried that he won't be as nice a person once healed from his time as Gary Stu? Is she worried about what could happen to her friends and family when it is learned that she is in a relationship with the once-Gary Stu? Is she worried for his safety when others learn that he was Gary Stu?

Why do I have the slight suspicion that at least two more ponies will be added to the herd?

5512596
Happy to provide! And yes, yes it was, 5513051 ,that was my bad. Thanks for the catch.

5512712
It's not exactly coding, not really, though it draws (primarily) from C++ for structure. It's an approximation, and even if I'd stuck entirely to coding terms/symbols it'd still be rather inefficient code. It's an approximation of what the runes actually say.

5512875
I love that those things came across that way! Eee!

5512905
Interesting! I was kind of going for that feel with Shadow Play and Quiet Mirror as well, though I stretched that out between both of the current chapters.

You're right by the way! But I was also going for that with two others, I'll see if I can add that in some more until it's properly explained.

5512911
Not sure about gratuitous, but there will definitely be violence! LOTS OF IT.

5513200
Did you not see the part about me being evil?

And there are a number of things what we saw could be! We dunno yet! The boulder is finally a rollin'!

5513203
And a little dash of 'he knows that I know that she knows' in there to boot!

5513389
BWUAHAHAHAHA!!! NOW YOU HAVE FALLEN INTO MY TRAP!

5513731

Fun Fact: In a traditional magic system, Emeris' habit of conjuring objects made of force would be considered evocation.

Oh yes, yes it would, and by rights, the same thing is true here! Direct conversion of power into force or elemental energy, even sustained, is evocation at its purest state!

Emeris sucks at evocation.

THIS IS A CLUE

I'm looking forward to seeing him go all dark and creepy on things. And I can't help but wonder if he even knows that he does that. I don't remember anyone actually telling him that he could unconsciously channel raw dark magic, and he never even seems to think about the use of dark magic as a possibility, even only to himself.

You picked up on that! Good catch

5513875
Grave Danger is one of my favorite characters I've ever made, probably more so than Emeris himself honestly.

5513961
Hah! Wasn't even thinking of that!

5514032
Thank you!

5514330

Oh yes, yes it would, and by rights, the same thing is true here! Direct conversion of power into force or elemental energy, even sustained, is evocation at its purest state!

Emeris sucks at evocation.

THIS IS A CLUE

That Emeris doesn't really suck at evocation? And he just wants to think that he does because evocation is a 'cool' class of magic?
Or that he is actually stronger than he thinks because he hasn't realized that his constructs are suffering a cross class penalty? And that he has been assuming that his 'strongest' field is benefiting from a talent based bonus when it really isn't because he hasn't tried any of the darker magics that match his 'class'.

5514020
Actually, no! It's something I made up, though I have no doubt it's been done before by numerous people, this is just something I came up with.

5514041
SQQUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I love comments like these, they make my day!

I've never heard of that color before.

They're the color of–

Anyways, pornographic eyes aside,

... damnit you beat me to it.

this was a great chapter. You are a sick and horrible monster for ending it like that, though. You're bad and you should feel bad.

Thank you!

More seriously, I like how you've fleshed out your new OC's. Good to know that Qubanna is a loyal follower of the Princess, less good to know he's suspicious of Emeris. If he figures out that he was Gary Stu, that could end badly. Shadow Play and Cumulus Rose are interesting--a shy Wonderbolt? Not something I ever expected to encounter in a fic.

Not all of them are mine so much as ones I've appropriated with permission! Qubanna and Shadow Play are almost entirely mine though. And we'll probably see some interesting things from Qubanna later on!

Punic doesn't get that much depth, but I'm guessing there's some plot significance behind that.

Actually! There's a fair bit of depth here, but you just have to look for it, because it's super subtle, it's one of the things i'm proud of about the chapter.

Re-read Punic's lines when he's talking to the mares in their own booth while thinking that he's looking down on them. Watch the subtleties *pop* out at you.

Also good to see the possible interest with Twilight--both from the perspective of hoping for a new and interesting pairing, and from the discovery of Emeris's jealousy over it, thus making the possible Emeris/Twilight pairing just a bit more likely. Regardless of either, the way they geek out with one another over runes is adorkable. So cute, even if just friend-cute. And I like how she and everypony else try to get Emeris to accept that he does praise-worthy things (and that Twilight wasn't upset at the I'm-in-Charge-Gary-Face). Although I'm worried about Shining Armor's reaction to Emeris, and to learning that Emeris is friends with his sister.

I really loved how those scenes flowed, as well as the relationships (Both romantic and otherwise) that are being developed!

... You mentioned once that Emeris picked up some things from Twilight's head even as she picked up his interest in mares? Could it be that what he picked up is the "Sunshine Sunshine" dance? If so... I do not believe any scale has been created sufficient to measure how embarrassing such a scene would be. Speaking of which, will Cadance be managing better than she did in the actual episode? She's had another two years of presumably happy marriage with Shining Armor, and while not an emotion eater I can only think that would be a healthy thing for an alicorn of love. And there's the the army of other ponies that may be able to help the shield. Sure, it's a love-shield, but with 200 ponies there's got to be a few who can contribute something.

Oh things will be interesting when we get there! So wonderful. It makes me giddy

Quiet Mirror adds in a new dynamic. I wouldn't have thought of him as a possible thorn in the side of the existing Rainbow Dash/Applejack/Emeris relationship, but Rarity is rarely wrong about these sorts of things. But considering that he's attractive, attentive, and a big fan of Rainbow Dash--also taking into account that she has huge self-image issues, that she probably would have a harder time imagining the monogamous viewpoint than Rarity, and that ponies have a polygamous society, it isn't out of the question that she wouldn't see anything wrong with bringing another stallion into the herd. If Emeris is seeing it as a matter of "she won't return his interest because she would never betray me", then he may miss that she wouldn't necessarily consider it to be a betrayal. If caught early enough, she could stay away as she realizes how much it would hurt Emeris (who almost certainly isn't emotionally capable of handling it, regardless of his opinions on polygamy, and polyandry in specific), but if it isn't addressed for a long enough stretch of time, she could put Quiet's feelings for her on the same level as Emeris's.

We weren't in Emeris head when he noticed the attraction for a reason! I deliberately left you wondering wtf is going on in his fucked up head~

I'm trying to keep an open mind, but my first reaction to some character I don't know butting their way into a relationship (be they male or female) is to glare at they and bare my fangs.

Oh, I totally understand! Which is part of why this is so fun. There's so much hidden complexity here that it makes me giggle!

Grave Danger is even more of an asshole than the was in the first chapter, but I like that we get to see some redeeming features (although Twilight is certainly right in her assessment of him, short of the "monster" part). Although considering that it is Necromancy, and that I can only imagine what it takes to learn or use Vice Magic--but it probably isn't conductive to being a nice pony. That Grave Danger has been only a jerk, and has in his own quiet way ceded some measure of respect to Emeris, speaks highly of his moral fiber, if not his niceness fibers. That said, depending on how Necromancy and Vice Magic are learned, and how they work in this story (seriously, these are concepts that have so widely applied that I can only guess at the general nature of how they'll be used in any given story), he could actually be a complete, revolting monster. I hope that not too much of Twilight's judgment of him comes from his specialties in magic, though, considering that Emeris uses Dark Magic--which is down there with all the other "bad" magical disciplines.

Well, considering that Vice magic is the closest thing that Equestria has to "Unholy" magic... Yeah, Graves isn't a nice guy.

Mind you, small clarification: Emeris' talent isn't "Dark Magic", it's "dark magics (for a specific purpose that's been hinted but not explicitly stated)". For example: Emeris has used Vice magic several times already in Consequences of Unoriginality, such as when he fought the Timberwolves.

I'm worried about Applejack. Does she feel that her relationship with Emeris isn't as strong as that between him and Rainbow Dash? Does she feel hesitant now that she knows how badly fucked in the head Emeris is? Does she worry that if they fix Emeris he wouldn't forgive her for... something--guilt isn't all that rational? Feel bad because Emeris had to basically be poked and prodded to accept both her and Rainbow, and she thinks that from the preexisting friendship between him and Dash means he would have chosen Dash over her? Is she worrying that he's going to violently snap? Is she guilty that she ate the last of his Races Paces, and knows that such a sin would have her cast out of Ponyville and Equestria altogether? Is she worried that he won't be as nice a person once healed from his time as Gary Stu? Is she worried about what could happen to her friends and family when it is learned that she is in a relationship with the once-Gary Stu? Is she worried for his safety when others learn that he was Gary Stu?

Keep reading to find out~

5514254
Because I'm evil

Also, in no particular order: Yes and no!

5514418
Ooh! That second one is cool! I like it! But not where I was going with it! You took that in a totally different direction! A very nice direction with wonderful scenery! But a totally different one.

5514513 Now I really want to know what Vice Magic is. Will that get explained next chapter, or must we suffer in ignorance until you deign to exert your authorly powers to enlighten us?

And, now that I'm reminded of how screwed up he is in the head... could Emeris be intending to have Quiet Mirror be there for Dash should he have to sacrifice himself? I'm not really expecting an answer, I just had to write down the thought.

5514513 Well then, with the lack of any information on Vice Magic I'm going to have to start reaching farther now...

The sum total of our knowledge of Vice Magic is that it is the 'closest thing to unholy'. Given the Harmony-centric nature of his problems in CoU the logical conclusion would be a Harmony based religion... So Harmony=Holy. The Elements of Harmony are based on fairly standard virtues. Here is where I make an assumption and bring in seven very well known vices... the Seven Deadly Sins. Emeris's fastest, strongest, and most combat effective constructs have all been cast while he was in the grip of a powerful negative emotion, anger... as in Wrath. Emeris is unconsciously using Wrath based Vice Magic to pump up his constructs when he feels innocents or those he cares about are threatened. Evocation would be right up Wrath's ally. Unless I'm way off base that would make dragons nature Greed users, for example Spike's Greed Growth.

Yeah, I tend to think way too far into things.

5514795
It's not really a spoiler what it is. And I don't think I'll be able to explicitly state what it is for a while.

It's basically the use of "negative" emotions to fuel magic, both for spells that wouldn't otherwise use them as well as for spells that specifically require it. It's primarily a school of amplification or energy transfer, with some powerful emotional magic thrown in. Stuff like using your anger specifically to empower your spells is a form of Vice magic, if a very basic one. Using your anger and fury to empower your physical form is an advanced application of the most simple aspects of the school. Instilling or drawing strength from those emotions in other is an advanced application, like what Sombra was doing to the Crystal Ponies by intentionally making them suffer.

It tends to leave residual ambiance and lingering traces that suck. Hard. Places that cause nightmares when you sleep there, objects that push you towards anger just by being near them, stuff like that. And it can act like a poison if properly applied. It's nasty.

"Negative emotions" referring to fear, lust, anger, wrath, jealousy, shaudenfraude, grief, shame, sadness, and guilt.

Virtue magic is the polar opposite, though it functions on almost identical principles, just for things like love, pride, happiness for others, positivity, courage, kindness, and forgiveness. It's residual effects also tend to be much nicer/more pleasant, but it is much harder to properly channel it due to the difficulty in maintaining a sufficient intensity in those emotions for any length of time or calling them up on command.

5514801
You, sir, are wrong! But very cool ideas and you're right in some things!

Yes, dragon's are natural users of certain forms of Vice magics, the same way that pegasi are natural users of magics that qualify as Boons and Evocation and Reality Warping. It's a natural magic that operates on principles similar or even identical to magic that some spellcasters use (in this case, Vice magic), but it's drawn from a different source and is more of a natural extension of deeper principles of the creature/being than anything else. Dragons drawing strength from their 'hoard' as well as the emotions associated with it, and simply being magic on a more fundamental level than any other species aside from maybe alicorns. They are meant to own and claim, and their very nature encourages this.

And yes, Emeris is using a form of Vice magic in his greatest examples of power so far, though not in the way you're thinking! There's a hint in my previous comment about what Vice magic is!

Harmony-magic is something fundamentally different from Vice and Virtue magics (the closest equivalents to Unholy and Holy magic in this interpretation of Equestria). Unfortunately, info on "Harmony" magic the way I'm talking about is sort of spoiler-y, or at least enough of such that I'm hesitant to say more right now. Harmony isn't really the basis of any religion (at least any main-stream ones) in this interpretation of Equestria, the closest thing the ponies have is a pseudo-worship of Celestia. It isn't something Emeris' has picked up on, but to a primarily western mindset it'll come across as weird. It's closer to something like Shinto crossed with Confucianism with Celestia (and now Luna) acting as the Emperor (and thus, the highest 'father' that everyone must respect and show deference to). But that's just an approximation, there's more nuance and rules to it than that. But that said, I'll be the first to admit that I don't have all the nuance built in yet since this story isn't likely to get too heavily into it.

5514330
So much has been hinted, I can't wait to see what happens from here on out. I'm totally waiting for one of them to trigger his PTSD, for the zebra man to attack him as soon as he goes off the deep end with dark magic, for Rainbow or AJ to do something stupid when Twilight decides to ditch the guards like Emeris told her to, all kinds of stuff.

I had originally thought that his constructs were tied to his dark magic, since he was creating them so freely the last time he lost control (and professed to be terrible at evocation), but now that I know for sure that evocation is still classified the same way in your world as it is in most others, I need an "oh, you" gif for Emeris. He's playing silly buggers with everyone and no one's caught it yet. Well, maybe Twilight, but given how much she knows about him, she's even more likely to keep his secrets than Emeris himself is.

aj doesnt know if she loves em. she knows she loves dash tho.

5514827

It's basically the use of "negative" emotions to fuel magic...
Using your anger and fury to empower your physical form is an advanced application of the most simple aspects of the school...
Virtue magic is the polar opposite, though it functions on almost identical principles, just for things like ...happiness for others,...

Is Pinkie using Virtue magic? I mean, she enjoys seeing others smile and have been showed to be able to keep up with Dash. That would point to heavy body empowerment, possibly fuelled by Virtue magic.

I'd call you an asshole for this cliffhanger but given that this is almost 20k words of straight-up awesome storytelling and character-building I'll cut you some slack. Awesome as always.

I think that you're over playing Grave Danger as far as the snooty dialogue goes. I get that he's a Snape like character, you can dial it back a bit now.

AmbientTemp = AmbientTemp * .98 ∴ Power += AmbientTemp * .01

What is the meaning of "∴"?

5516825

Therefore

Quiet Mirror best not be thinking about Dash in any serious way. She's great with Emeris.
Also seems Emmy's got some feelings for Twi beginning to grow now.

And that cliffhanger?
...
...
...
Pure Evil...

Don't keep us waiting too long if you please.

Argh! Evil cliff hanger of Evil!

5514827
5514857

Magic system explanations! I love explanations about how magic works. It might just be my favorite part of world-building. Time for another giant barrage of questions!

We've already seen that Emeris can subconsciously augment his physique with vice magic--in that case, is he also using it to power his evocations?
Is he aware that he is amping up the power on his force constructs somehow? He's really good at those, but considering his reaction to Luna telling him to use dark magic it doesn't seem likely. Did he say he's bad at evocation in terms of the school as a whole, or is he just not thinking of them as evocations?

If one can draw power from the negative emotions of others, would a user of vice magic be able to absorb the unpleasant remnants lingering around in places it has been used? Or would a virtue user need to counter it (does Twilight know virtue magic?)? Considering that Emeris's big fight with the Timberwolves was right at the edge of Sweet Apple Acres, the remaining anger there could cause problems. And his outburst at the party was right outside Sugarcube Corners--is that going to cause the Cakes business problems?

I like how your vice magic works with Sombra. It both gives him a legitimate, if horrible, reason to be such a cruel ruler (other than "rrrroarrrr I'm evil! crystallllz"), and explains how a unicorn could have enough power to require both Celestia and Luna to take him down, and still manage to snap off a giant curse when defeated. Are the curved, oddly-colored horn and the fangs a result of the use of vice magic, or does Sombra have command of a broader range of spellwork?

Are crystals/shadows a normal result of Sombra's brand of dark magic, or is he mixing in another discipline? Well, asking if shadows are a normal part of dark magic seems a little silly, but you have said that there are different types and Emeris certainly doesn't use them... Amongst their other purposes, do the crystals serve as antennae to gather the despair of the crystal ponies?

And, finally

I’m talented at using umbram– um, shadows to envelop my form

Is "umbram" the term for the art of surrounding herself with shadows, or was she cutting "umbramancy" short for a description that would be more useful to non-umbramancers? If she was just shortening it, is that the only use for umbramancy?

My goal in this comment is sound like the adult I am rather than a 12 year old banging on a keyboard while hyperventilating. (Seriously rereading my previous comments hurts)
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! It's awesome. WHOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!

<Ahem>

As this was a solid character development piece, I will arrange my thoughts by character (an astounding idea, feel free to bask in my glory)

Shadow Play: I was wondering when we would find ponies on the other side of the love/hate Gary thing. Those that didn't get the full "love me" dose or only heard of his great deeds. And her first act is to call him a prince. BHWAAHAHAHAA. Ponies jumping to the conclusion that preserves their world view. Not much else here though that I saw. Her shadow powers are interesting and will probably help against the shadow wolves in some capacity.

Cumulus Rose: I got not much. I think its odd that Dash is favoring a fan over geeking out over the Wonderbolt the whole trip. Voice of reason about Pinkie's festival (spoilers: It doesn't work). Cloud carving:Flowers..... well for a paramilitary organization not a problem. Has some neat gear though.

Quite Mirror: Minor Noble, probably newly raised given how Punic acts. Open crush and flirting with Dash (or that's what I am betting on). Emeris' earrings are not subtle so there is no way Quiet didn't see them and probably get the connection. Dash probably would have mentioned it as well if it came up. Rarity isn't wrong that Quiets' behavior should have provoked at least a minor possessive display from Emeris, but as we all agree Emeris isn't healthy. I find his skepticism of Emeris abilities rather arbitrary. He learns that Emeris can cast through horn damage, infact is so inured against it he doesn't realize it supposed to be disabling. Then promptly turns around and claims Emeris can't possibly be that good with runes...... Considering most don't even know of runes why would he know enough to judge somepony else's skill? Plus while I can see GD back talking Twilight about rune skill, not Quite Mirror(don't know if he did, but he didn't speak up like the gold digger Punic either).

Punic: Somepony who actually cares about Nobility and status. Plays nice with Pinkie's plan (spoilers: still doesn't work), but brings up the "Noble House of Light" or more accurately: "The bastion of prestige and power that I plan to access via Twilight". Then makes a pass at Twilight. And rushes to defend her judgement. He cares enough about Nobility to argue Quiet Mirror out of being roped into the festival either. If he's going to be a problem for Emeris it will be over Twilight and herding more than anything else.

Grave Danger: I finally figured out what was bothering me about the situation so far. And it basically comes down to this: Either Luna/Celestia are completely oblivious to interpersonal relationships that don't happen right in front of them, OR Grave Danger isn't a villian. Bookie!(Andoriol) I am changing my bet about the team traitor. Remove Grave Danger from the list. I am reassigning that his loyalty is absolute. It seems the Necromancer is here to do a few things: 1) Introduce Twilight to the darker side of light, 2) asses her ability to handle that and appreciate that, 3) determine if Emeris should be recruited and trained. After all a partly trained black mage is a dangerous thing. If you read his dialog while ignoring the hostility it does seem to read like an honest assessment of skills and qualities for both Emeris and Twilight. And when things get serious, so does he.

Qubanna(Cabana?): A very different kind of magic user. Its interesting. Plants for everything and required materials for casting. I wonder if it will come up where he loses his gear otherwise it ultimately is cosmetic. Will all Zebra have rhetorical quirks though?

The princesses had placed their trust in this unicorn, but as mighty as they may be, that did not mean they were always right, nor that Qubanna would do the same. He didn’t know what the Crystal Empire’s power truly was, but if the princesses desired it, Qubanna would ensure that none but Equestria would take its power

Danger Will Robinson. Danger! This. This right here is what I was concerned about last chapter. He is substituting his own judgement for his master's without all of their information. What I wonder is: who qualifies as Equestria in this case? Luna/Celestia obviously. But what about Cadence or Twilight? Since the power of the Crystal Empire is the Crystal Heart, is he going to ensure that is delivered back to Canterlot regardless of other considerations? On that note: Bookie!: I'd like to place my bet for team traitor Qubanna via a road to hell type allegory. Cadence and Twilight go to use the Heart, then Qubanna sneak attacks them and "steals" the Heart. He may get Punic to help him in his revolt against Emeris in this case.

Emeris: Emeris, buddy; the correct answer is: "Gary died in a Harmony fueled fire. He is never coming back. Please let him rest in piece". I am awarding Emeris a blackbelt in mixed messages. I am rather certain he was unintentionally signaling Quiet Mirror about herd stuff. Like its ok to pursue farther stuff like that. I am not sure how good Emeris actually is with runes; I am far more sure that everypony else sucks with them. He claims to cheat, but I think he actually has some training in procedural thinking versus having to rely on brute force solutions developed by someone else. I may have too low an opinion of Emeris mental health, though being in charge in dangerous situation is his thing. More emotion magic. I think it solid by this point that Emeris start autocasting when he get excited or upset. Jealousy over Punic making moves on Twi is expected honestly I've felt for a while that she is going to be brought into the heard.

Mane 6: Fairly general this round. Applejack continues to be unsettled. I think its because she raced into things with Emeris more to encourage Dash then out of her own desires. And I have to assume he is a rather passive stallion in terms of dating.
Rarity is being observant but I'm not sure she paying enough attention. A shame she hasn't sat Emeris down and really got a feel of his home culture.
Pinkie plans a festival (spoilers:nope)
Spike: Sir not appearing in this timeline

And that's about what I got out of the chapter. Happy reading.

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Maybe! I'm deliberately not really touching on what Pinkie can/can't do except in the most vaguest of senses.

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Happy to provide!

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He's only visually inspired by Snape, he's far less droll or "mmm, yes", he's a different kind of douchenozzle.

5516825
5517317 is right, in that it means "therefore". It's the closest thing I could find to an appropriate symbol to represent "simultaneous with" or "causes", I'd change it if I had something else to change it to. It's just supposed to link the two statements its between to show that it's not "This happens, and then this happens" but rather "This happens and thus this happens because of that/at the same time" to simulate the direct transfer of energy from point A to point B in the system.

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BWUAHAHAHA!!!

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We've already seen that Emeris can subconsciously augment his physique with vice magic--in that case, is he also using it to power his evocations?

No, though he could. He has used it to power his constructs though.

Is he aware that he is amping up the power on his force constructs somehow? He's really good at those, but considering his reaction to Luna telling him to use dark magic it doesn't seem likely. Did he say he's bad at evocation in terms of the school as a whole, or is he just not thinking of them as evocations?

He's, from an out of character viewpoint, bad at evocation magic in comparison to his other skills. He's competent (though he says he straight up sucks), but he honestly isn't all that good at it. He's also unaware of his usage of vice magic currently, which is unusual, though not entirely unheard of.

If one can draw power from the negative emotions of others, would a user of vice magic be able to absorb the unpleasant remnants lingering around in places it has been used? Or would a virtue user need to counter it (does Twilight know virtue magic?)? Considering that Emeris's big fight with the Timberwolves was right at the edge of Sweet Apple Acres, the remaining anger there could cause problems. And his outburst at the party was right outside Sugarcube Corners--is that going to cause the Cakes business problems?

Good questions! Sadly the answer is an unsatisfactory "It depends". In the case of the timberwolves, Emeris never stayed in one place long enough for the magic to leave anything more than a decent signature for others to track. The event at Sugarcube Corner was brief, if intense, but localized, and the Princesses were there to handle things.

Additionally, in both cases, the magic itself was primarily internally focused. Even the darkening of the sky at Sugarcube Corner was him drawing in energy ponies really shouldn't be touching.

I like how your vice magic works with Sombra. It both gives him a legitimate, if horrible, reason to be such a cruel ruler (other than "rrrroarrrr I'm evil! crystallllz"), and explains how a unicorn could have enough power to require both Celestia and Luna to take him down, and still manage to snap off a giant curse when defeated. Are the curved, oddly-colored horn and the fangs a result of the use of vice magic, or does Sombra have command of a broader range of spellwork?

Emeris horn is curved as well, though it's not red. Sombra's horn color is the result of one of the branches of dark magic he delved into a bit too deeply, the fangs from another one. Sombra was a jack of all trades of black magics, having moderately high ranks of mastery in many different branches of dark magics.

Are crystals/shadows a normal result of Sombra's brand of dark magic, or is he mixing in another discipline? Well, asking if shadows are a normal part of dark magic seems a little silly, but you have said that there are different types and Emeris certainly doesn't use them... Amongst their other purposes, do the crystals serve as antennae to gather the despair of the crystal ponies?

Yes/no (He's using a different discipline than vice magic, but it is dark magic). And remember that Emeris A). Caused the entire fucking sky to darken in the middle of the day as an unconscious usage of dark magics and B). Is basically untrained when it comes to dark magics. He's dabbled and remembers bits and pieces, but very little. Don't (currently) take Emeris as an example of the full potential of the darker side of magic.

Is "umbram" the term for the art of surrounding herself with shadows, or was she cutting "umbramancy" short for a description that would be more useful to non-umbramancers? If she was just shortening it, is that the only use for umbramancy?

She's shortening it. It's Umbramancy, the magic of shadows. Which, ironically, isn't inherently dark magic.

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Shadow Play: I was wondering when we would find ponies on the other side of the love/hate Gary thing. Those that didn't get the full "love me" dose or only heard of his great deeds. And her first act is to call him a prince. BHWAAHAHAHAA. Ponies jumping to the conclusion that preserves their world view. Not much else here though that I saw. Her shadow powers are interesting and will probably help against the shadow wolves in some capacity.

TIS WONDERFUL ISN'T IT?!

And there's more to her than we've seen so far, though I'm not sure how much of it we're going to get into in this story.

Cumulus Rose: I got not much. I think its odd that Dash is favoring a fan over geeking out over the Wonderbolt the whole trip. Voice of reason about Pinkie's festival (spoilers: It doesn't work). Cloud carving:Flowers..... well for a paramilitary organization not a problem. Has some neat gear though.

We haven't seen much about her yet. She was deliberate and efficient at first, but got shy when put on the spot like she was. And as a reminder: This takes place over two years after Season 2 (without getting into the stuff from Season 3 onward for obvious reasons).

And they're not "paramilitary" in this interpretation of Equestria, they're full on military, but part of their job is explicitly public relations. Part of their job is to look cool and do awesome shit.

Quite Mirror: Minor Noble, probably newly raised given how Punic acts. Open crush and flirting with Dash (or that's what I am betting on). Emeris' earrings are not subtle so there is no way Quiet didn't see them and probably get the connection. Dash probably would have mentioned it as well if it came up. Rarity isn't wrong that Quiets' behavior should have provoked at least a minor possessive display from Emeris, but as we all agree Emeris isn't healthy. I find his skepticism of Emeris abilities rather arbitrary. He learns that Emeris can cast through horn damage, infact is so inured against it he doesn't realize it supposed to be disabling. Then promptly turns around and claims Emeris can't possibly be that good with runes...... Considering most don't even know of runes why would he know enough to judge somepony else's skill? Plus while I can see GD back talking Twilight about rune skill, not Quite Mirror(don't know if he did, but he didn't speak up like the gold digger Punic either).

Good guess at the start! Wrong, but good guess! It fits the current information, definitely. And no, Emeris' earrings aren't subtle, but he's not really looking at Emeris is he?

And there's a slight problem it seems, Quiet Mirror is less "You've got to be lying, you're bullshitting me you bastard" with his skepticism and more "Oh you've got to be kidding me, no way!" It's a difference in tone. And doing what Twilight and Emeris did with runes (a perpetual/lasting enchantment) is actually more difficult in traditional enchanting (which is what Quiet MIrror is familiar with) than it is with runes. He's making an assumption based on flawed information. He didn't speak up after his initial "Wait, what?" for a reason, and that's because he was willing to accept what Twilight and Emeris said, he just had to pause for a minute.

Punic: Somepony who actually cares about Nobility and status. Plays nice with Pinkie's plan (spoilers: still doesn't work), but brings up the "Noble House of Light" or more accurately: "The bastion of prestige and power that I plan to access via Twilight". Then makes a pass at Twilight. And rushes to defend her judgement. He cares enough about Nobility to argue Quiet Mirror out of being roped into the festival either. If he's going to be a problem for Emeris it will be over Twilight and herding more than anything else.

Ooh, you picked up on that. There's more there, but I'm happy someone did.

Grave Danger: I finally figured out what was bothering me about the situation so far. And it basically comes down to this: Either Luna/Celestia are completely oblivious to interpersonal relationships that don't happen right in front of them, OR Grave Danger isn't a villian. Bookie!(Andoriol) I am changing my bet about the team traitor. Remove Grave Danger from the list. I am reassigning that his loyalty is absolute. It seems the Necromancer is here to do a few things: 1) Introduce Twilight to the darker side of light, 2) asses her ability to handle that and appreciate that, 3) determine if Emeris should be recruited and trained. After all a partly trained black mage is a dangerous thing. If you read his dialog while ignoring the hostility it does seem to read like an honest assessment of skills and qualities for both Emeris and Twilight. And when things get serious, so does he.

*scritchscritch* Your bet has been noted.

Qubanna(Cabana?): A very different kind of magic user. Its interesting. Plants for everything and required materials for casting. I wonder if it will come up where he loses his gear otherwise it ultimately is cosmetic. Will all Zebra have rhetorical quirks though?

Danger Will Robinson. Danger! This. This right here is what I was concerned about last chapter. He is substituting his own judgement for his master's without all of their information. What I wonder is: who qualifies as Equestria in this case? Luna/Celestia obviously. But what about Cadence or Twilight? Since the power of the Crystal Empire is the Crystal Heart, is he going to ensure that is delivered back to Canterlot regardless of other considerations? On that note: Bookie!: I'd like to place my bet for team traitor Qubanna via a road to hell type allegory. Cadence and Twilight go to use the Heart, then Qubanna sneak attacks them and "steals" the Heart. He may get Punic to help him in his revolt against Emeris in this case.

*scritchscritch* Your bet has been noted. Also, all major zebra Kundi's have their own unique speech pattern quirks.

Emeris: Emeris, buddy; the correct answer is: "Gary died in a Harmony fueled fire. He is never coming back. Please let him rest in piece". I am awarding Emeris a blackbelt in mixed messages. I am rather certain he was unintentionally signaling Quiet Mirror about herd stuff. Like its ok to pursue farther stuff like that. I am not sure how good Emeris actually is with runes; I am far more sure that everypony else sucks with them. He claims to cheat, but I think he actually has some training in procedural thinking versus having to rely on brute force solutions developed by someone else. I may have too low an opinion of Emeris mental health, though being in charge in dangerous situation is his thing. More emotion magic. I think it solid by this point that Emeris start autocasting when he get excited or upset. Jealousy over Punic making moves on Twi is expected honestly I've felt for a while that she is going to be brought into the heard.

Emeris is actually pretty good with runes, definitely a master, though closer to a fourth degree master, the equivalent of about a baechelors. Solid as hell, but not the sixth degree mastery he's attributed to have (which is closer to a masters or a doctorate).

Depending on how you define "low opinion", you may on the money or a bit off. Mentally he's actually pretty stable until you push his hot buttons, but that doesn't mean he's sane. Also, interestingly, the more extreme the situation, the calmer Emeris gets.

Mane 6: Fairly general this round. Applejack continues to be unsettled. I think its because she raced into things with Emeris more to encourage Dash then out of her own desires. And I have to assume he is a rather passive stallion in terms of dating.
Rarity is being observant but I'm not sure she paying enough attention. A shame she hasn't sat Emeris down and really got a feel of his home culture.
Pinkie plans a festival (spoilers:nope)

Rarity, surprisingly, has had a good sit-down with him, almost as much as Fluttershy has, she's got a general sense of his culture more than anything else. There's a limit to what she can do in these cramped quarters though and on this time schedule.

Spike: Sir not appearing in this timeline

Pffffft. Wish I could make that joke in-universe, but alas, I cannot.

And that's about what I got out of the chapter. Happy reading.

Happy to have you here! These comments always make my day! Thanks!

5518017 Considering that the story description says that Emeris is a Starcloak, that Grave Danger wears a Starcloak and is an elite member of the Starcloaks, I'd say that scouting out Emeris is very likely. Not Twilight though, I would think:

And my sister and I am trusting you to act as a buffer between her precious student and the darker aspects of our world.

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Emeris is actually pretty good with runes, definitely a master, though closer to a fourth degree master, the equivalent of about a baechelors. Solid as hell, but not the sixth degree mastery he's attributed to have (which is closer to a masters or a doctorate).

Wouldn't Twilight realize that? Even if she doesn't retain the memory, she would have gotten a look at his rune skills while merged with him. I could accept that she's just estimating since she isn't that advanced at runes (although while merged with Eremis she would have been), but by such a large degree? There is a giant difference between a bachelor's and a doctorate ("at minimum, a sixth degree master"--if sixth degree is master's/doctorate, and considering that "at minimum" usually means that they're thinking somewhere higher, she's considering him to be a 7th which would be closer to a doctorate). Even if she doesn't know what he knows anymore, she should remember his approximate breadth of knowledge, how limited that is, and how much he relies on his shortcuts. I would have suggested that she meant that he worked at that level, but she outright stated that he was a master. Is she just wrong? That could turn out badly if she expects him to accomplish things beyond his knowledge as a 4th degree rune-caster. Cheats won't make up for everything.
It looks like there will be a big emphasis on Emeris and dark magic in this story, but will he be advancing his knowledge of other magics alongside that (I'm really only concerned with the runes, because they're awesome. Although I'd like to see him pull out a Boon sometime... I don't think we've seen him using blessings or curses to date.)

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Actually it's simply the testing system being fucked up. If you made a straight comparison between standard enchanting and runic enchanting exempt from the culture of equestria, you'd get Emeris as a fourth degree master. This is the most useful number when talking about his skill in an out of character context.

In-universe, the baselines for mastery were based on the greatest masters of those arts at the time, and no pony other than potentially Luna has been a "true" eighth degree master of runes. The measurement system they're using in character for a ponies capability are off.

Emeris is actually more skilled than almost any pony alive with runic magic right now. There are only a handful that are more skilled than him, and he's going to get better once he has extended interaction with minotaurs, who are the reigning masters of runic magic on Terra. If you want a *real* ninth degree master of runic magic, you go to Labarynthia, and you'll find... one. Mind you, even Twilight Sparkle doesn't have a ninth degree mastery in something (as of right now). Ninth and Tenth degree masteries are the stuff of immortals, heroes, and legends. Ponies, due to a complex variety of reasons, just flat fucking suck at runic magic.

In the Equestrian measurement system, Emeris is a sixth degree master of runic magic, possibly seventh. By the minotaur's (more accurate) closest assesment he's a fourth degree. Emeris is comparing his skill in runic magic to that in standard enchanting and believes he comes up short since the two measurement systems are out of synch. Twilight is referring to what he would test as.

Also, we'll get to see some blessings next chapter. Hint: Ponies will get flaming hooves of justice. Not even joking.

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The way I see it is that Twilight is simply looking at Emeris' skill in the best light possible. In the end, he produces rune systems that are equal or better than what sixth degree masters produce. Sure, she is aware of his weakness in the school, which is basically a lack of runic vocabulary, but she chooses to look at it from the other side.

From her perspective, its like he's explaining doctorate level concepts in his runes using an eighth grade vocabulary.

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I ....uhhh...... haven't read the story description till this point.......

You know, it's a shame I read the comments before commenting myself. I mean, I've had a chance to read about fascinating world-building, possible depths in many of the characters and so on. Likewise, everything has already been said, like how this is a great chapter, that the switch of POV flows nicely, that Emeris' psychosis is still following him, that there might be trouble in paradise, aka his herd with possible additions or doubting mares, that this point to end is evil, that Grave Danger is still a jerk, that surely you will go on and continue writing this passionate stuff. Really, everything been's said. I love it. Again.

But hey, you deserve to hear it again.

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Ponies will get flaming hooves of justice.

For
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Great
vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/f/f2/Gniew.gif/revision/latest?cb=20130512072319&path-prefix=pl
Justice!

5520903 Dat's the one

Great chapter, it serenely help set the stage for the tension that will probable emerge within the group during this mission. My favorite of the new characters is probably Greave Danger, as he is setting himself as being the insufferable prick of the group and he seam's to be the one that stand out the most, I hope he can back-up his attitude with skill. For Shadow Play, Quiet Mirror, Cumulus Rose, Punic don't seem to stand out much in my mine at the moment. Qabanna on the other hand is interesting, as in he seam's eh doesn't see himself as part of the group, at leest as allies of circumstances. I am wandering if he will warm-up to the others.

Loved it

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Well, either way he needs better dialogue.

has anyone said that Emeris is alright with Quiet because he trusts Dash Bearer of the element of Loyalty? You know not having a clue that the definition of betrayal is severely skewed between the two (Actually how many worlds has he even been in?) worlds. Does he even remember that Dash was first interested in him because he liked her, guess what someone her type is here and she doesn't have any reason not to hit on him. I'll admit to finding Dash to be minorly OOC on account of barely even acknowledging the fact that there's a wonderbolt there. Did something happen with the Gary times where Dash got her fill of the wonderbolts? I want this story.

your a monster. Bering in my the fact he uses powerful black magic instinctively and has seen so much death and killing that the life barier (amount you hesitate before taking the life of another) is probably barely even there on him. I actually see something horrible happening to Quiet or knowing Emeris's mental state, something horrible happening to Emeris

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He's only visually inspired by Snape, he's far less droll or "mmm, yes", he's a different kind of douchenozzle.

No, he's right. I skipped the description and only read the dialogue and still got a very strong Snape vibe from him.

if(worn = yes)

That should be "if(worn == yes)" otherwise you are simply assigning the value of "yes" to "worn" and causing the code to never run the "else" portion.