Robotic Stallion Big Lugnut

by Hooves Like Jagger

XIV: Antivirus

Robotic Stallion Big Lugnut
Author: HoovesLikeJagger
Chapter XIV

________________

"Daring, are you asleep?"

"What?"

"I asked, 'Are you asleep?'!"

"I can't hear you! Lugnut is snoring too loud!"

"What?"

"SNXXXXXXXX~"

"Did you say something?"

"What?"

"What?"

It was no use. When Big Lugnut was snoring it was as if three normal ponies were snoring into a bucket. Daring and Query would have to abandon whispering if they wanted to hear one another. The two shook off their sleep and exited their room in the train. Closing the door behind them, the sound of Big Lugnut's snores were erased. Even after one week of traveling, the two ponies hadn't gotten used to the tremor inducing snores. Lugnut's newly developed nasal passages were still congested with shards of metal he would sneeze out periodically. The sneezes themselves had nearly killed two ponies: Query and Daring.

"We gotta stop this waking up the middle of the night thing... it's really starting to mess with me during the day," Daring yawned.

"Don't worry, he'll wake himself up shortly. You can get back to your much needed beauty sleep soon enough, Doody," he teased. Daring wasn't feeling too humorous at the moment and expressed this fact by socking Query in the gut. Just as predicted though, a yell and crash suddenly signaled the halt of the snoring.

"That was dramatic," Daring noted, but didn't look at all concerned. Moments later, Big Lugnut emerged from the room.

"I just had th-" Lugnut started before Daring shouldered past him to get back into the room. Query cringed as she slammed the door. "What's her problem?"

"She's just sleepy. You were saying?" Query urged Lugnut to continue.

"I just had the strangest dream," Lugnut continued. "So I was a mountain-"

"You were a mountain?"

"Yes, I was a mountain and on top of me was a single tree."

"And... how was that?"

"Is was really nice. I felt peaceful and happy. I loved the tree."

"You loved the tree? That's really weird," Query pointed out. Lugnut ignored him.

"But then a star swooped down from the sky and took the tree away from me. I'd never felt so mad before!"

"Trippy. Is there a point to this?" Query inquired. Lugnut shook his head.

"I dunno. I just got a weird feeling about it... like it means something." Lugnut scratched his head as if trying to spark some idea as to the meaning of his dream.

"Okay... let's break it down," Query sighed. "You said you were the mountain, right?"

"Right," Lugnut nodded.

"And you loved the tree?"

"Right," Lugnut repeated.

"Did you love the tree or did you love it romantically?"

"What's the difference?" Query heaved a huge sigh. This wasn't something he was too keen on discussing so late at night.

"So if you love someone you... like... wanna be with them forever, right?" Big Lugnut nodded in response, "So if you love someone romantically that means you wanna marry them and have kids with them," Query attempted to explain. Even with his limited power of expression, Lugnut's face told Query he still didn't understand.

"Does being married have something to do with getting pregnant?" Lugnut asked.

"Uh... that's a bit off topic big guy." Query wasn't about to go into detail on that subject. "Let me try a different question: what did you feel your relationship was with the tree?" Lugnut thought a while about it.

"I feel like it was my duty to protect it."

"Okay, so the tree could represent somepony who depends on you. Now what about the star, any feelings or thoughts about it?" Query delved a little deeper.

"It took me by surprise. The sky suddenly turned to night, a star swooped down, and then the tree was gone," Lugnut recounted the dream, the surreality of it starting to sink in. Query thought about it all for a while before passing his final verdict.

"Well, since the tree is growing out of you, the mountain, I suppose it represents family or somepony who feels like family. The star is a stranger, somepony who is very distant from you. The dream might mean you have subconscious worries about strangers taking away those close to you... or it could be randomly firing neurons. Gives you something to think about though, eh big guy?" Lugnut only shrugged in response.

"It just makes me wonder about my family. I had one hundred twenty three brothers, but who were my parents?" Query heaved another sigh. Lugnut's ricocheting train of thought wore on Query, but he enjoyed it for the most part.

"I don't know big guy. It's possible we could find the identity of your biological parents on this trip."

"That term again, 'biological parents'. Dr. Hooves said that he wasn't his daughter's biological parent too. What does that term mean?" Lugnut had wondered ever since he'd visited the Hooves residence, but he had more pressing matters to attend to at the time.

"Well you understand how it takes a mare and a stallion to produce a foal, right?" Lugnut nodded, despite his incomplete knowledge on the subject. "Well, everypony has biological parents, they're the ponies that do the... uhm... thing that makes the foal. Sometimes one or both of them can't raise the foal though, so they have legal parents or guardians who take care of them as if the foal was their own."

"I see..." Big Lugnut went deep into thought. Query was afraid Lugnut hadn't understood, but Lugnut's gears were turning in a different direction at the moment. Once he was done thinking, he stunned Query with his conclusion.

"So... you and Daring are like my legal parents?"

"Uh..."

"You're the first two ponies I remember after being pulled out of the rubble. You're a stallion, she's a mare, so you're both like my parents." Query just stared at Lugnut for a moment.

"Me and Doody? We would make terrible parents." Query's face scrunched up. "Besides, she wouldn't wanna raise a child with me anyway."

"Even if it was me?" Lugnut whimpered.

"It's got nothing to do with who the child is, big guy," Query assured him, "Daring just thinks of me as her business partner, nothing more."

"But... you're not opposed to having a child with her?" Big Lugnut's question posed Query in an odd stance.

"Well... no..."

"So you love her?"

"W-w-what?!" Lugnut prodded Query with a hoof.

"Well, having children seems to have a lot to do with love. So, do you love her?"

"I... guess... so?" Query didn't exactly state with certainty. "Well, just as a friend. I know she's attractive, smart, and I really enjoy spending time with her, but I know she doesn't think of me romantically. If she doesn't want to pursue a relationship like that, neither do I." Big Lugnut stood and processed the information for a moment.

"Okay." Query's explaination clicked with Lugnut. There was no more talk of Lugnut's parentage that night.

_______________

"Alright, I'll go rent out a cart." Query disappeared into the log cabin, leaving Daring and Lugnut out in the blizzard. After one week of traveling by train, they'd finally arrived at their destination: Stalliongrad. According to Daring, Mephisto's Labyrinth lay a few miles outside of the frigid city. They'd already left the city and walked a few miles in the cold in order to rent out a cart so Lugnut pull them the rest of the way. Lugnut had been perfectly fine with this plan, up until he had to endure the biting cold outside.

"Th-th-th-th-this is t-t-t-t-t-terrible," Lugnut groaned. Everything but his barrel and hips were freezing and rattling uncontrollably.

"Suck it up, Lugnut," Daring ordered. Lugnut was new to the cold, but Daring was used to being in all sorts of extreme conditions. Lugnut shot her a dirty look, but Daring didn't even glance up.

"Y-y-you have cl-cl-clothes to keep-p-p you warm," he complained.

"You should've had your mommy knit you a sweater," Daring retorted. She exhaled sharply to watch the water vapor rise from her lips and disappear.

"You are my mother." Daring's face scrunched up instantaneously. She peered at Lugnut through the corner of her eyes.

"How d'ya figure that?"

"W-w-w-ell, you a-a-a-nd Query-"

"Stop right there," Daring cut in. "Me and Query as parents? That'd be messed up."

"Q-q-query said the s-s-same thing."

"Of course he would," Daring sighed. "We're business partners, end of story."

"H-h-he said th-th-that t-t-t-too."

"I bet he did," Daring mumbled, casting her gaze down to the snow. The change didn't go unnoticed by Lugnut.

"You d-d-don't seem t-t-too happy about th-that," he noted. Daring grunted, forcing her expression back into neutral.

"You've seen him, haven't you?"

"Seen h-him?"

"He hits on every mare who catches his fancy. He hits on literally every pegasi mare he encounters, but if we weren't in business together he wouldn't give me the time of day," Daring fumed, her wings involuntarily spreading in anger.

"Th-that can't be true." Lugnut shook, letting the snow that was piling up on his body fall off. Daring didn't respond, allowing the silence to bear down on Lugnut until Query came around with an empty cart. Lugnut hitched himself up as Query and Daring piled in and discussed their plan.

"You think Ivy League made good on that promise?" Daring asked Query.

"You know Ivy; if the university gave her more guards to keep us out, she got more guards to keep us out. Have you known her to ever not tighten security up when we try to sneak into forbidden areas?" Daring's only response was a snort of derision. "I think she's just jealous that we find the good stuff."

"You think she'd learn by now," Daring laughed.

"Learn what? Learn that the good stuff is always in the most dangerous place or that we'll just ignore what she tells us to do?"

"Learn that she's a stuck up diva! I'm pretty sure she knows those other things," Daring grunted. "She's the least of our worries though. The name of the game here is stealth. We pull up a ways out from the site and sneak in. You hear that Lugnut?"

"He-he-hear what?" Lugnut had finished hitching himself to the cart and was ready to run.

"Get as close as you can to the ruins!"

"G-g-g-gotcha!"

_________________

"What do you mean the road is impassible?" the white unicorn whined as she stamped her hooves, causing her green mane to bob up and down.

"I'm sorry Miss League, but this blizzard caught the road crews off guard. It might be a while before the majority of the guards arrive." Ivy and the guard stood outside in the cold by themselves. Behind them lay the gaping maw of stone that was the entrance to Mephisto's Labyrinth.

"But I need guaaaaaards!" Ivy continued to whine. The guard pinned his ears against his head, but it wasn't enough to stop the noise from penetrating his brain.

"Miss Ivy, I assure you nothing will happen," the guard assured her in an attempt to calm her down,

"But what if Daring Doo-doo head and Sir-Asks-A-Lot show up?" Ivy moaned. The guard gritted his teeth, making sure to control his anger as he answered.

"If the guards can't get here, neither could those two. They would need a cart pulled by a dragon to make it through the snow that's piled up."

"STOP LUGNUT, STOP!" No such order was obeyed as a cart laden with two terrified archeologists careened right into the mouth of the ruins. Lugnut scrambled to keep his footing as he and the cart rumbled down the stairs leading deeper into the ruins.

"Lugnut! You've gotta stop!" Query called.

"I don't think I can! We're going too fast!" Lugnut and his passengers all gave a collective grunt as the cart impacted the landing at the bottom of the stairs. Lugnut stumbled a little, but managed to keep his footing and forge ahead.

The group barreled down an elevated walkway with what appeared to be an endless drop on either side. Lugnut could barely believe his eyes when he noticed what was rising before them: a massive stone wall. The only opening was at the end of the walkway, but Lugnut could see another wall rising soon afterwards.

"That's the Labyrinth itself!" Daring shouted. "Follow my directions unless you want to become a pancake!" Daring didn't need a response from Lugnut. As they approached the first turn, Daring shouted out her orders.

"Left! ... Right! Left, no not yet, now! Right! Right! Forward, keep going forward! Hairpin Left!" Lugnut maneuvered around the passages with the grace of a belabored pachyderm. Darning and Query had to hold on for dear life in order to stay in the cart with every turn. Their terror made them ignore the utter lack of guards in the ruins.

"Right! Another right! Left! Up, go up! Down the middle passage! Right! Now keep going straight!" Daring ordered. Lugnut looked down the passage he was ordered to continue down.

"But, this is a dead end!" Lugnut protested. He tried to skid to a halt, but the cart threatened to crash into him and his hooves burned from the friction.

"Just keep going!" Query backed Daring up. Lugnut had no choice but to obey, barreling at top speeds towards the wall. He counted down the painful impact in his head.

3...

2...

1...!

Nothing followed. Lugnut and the cart passed through the false wall as if it were a sheet of thin air. Unfortunately, the wall succeeded in hiding the dark stairs behind it. Without any idea where his footing went, Lugnut ate stone stairs and Query and Daring were thrown from the cart. The group tumbled down the short staircase, raising a din of dull thuds and splintering wood as they impacted the bottom. After getting to their feet, Query lit the room up with his horn, or at least he lit up what he could of the room.

"Well... I guess I'm back." Even in the dim light, Lugnut recognized his resting place for the past few centuries. He tried to remember how long he'd been awake. It had been roughly a month and a half since he'd awoken on Sweet Apple Acres. Compared to the time he spent here in the Labyrinth, he'd only been awake for the blink of an eye.

"No time for nostalgia!" Daring shouted. "Time is of the essence here. Who knows when the guards will show up." Query and Lugnut adopted Daring's haste, following her through the darkness.

"Daring, I'm all for hurrying, but do you know where you're going?" Query petitioned his partner.

"Of course I do. I know this place like my own hat." As proof to her point, it wasn't long before the threesome found themselves before a passageway leading out of the destroyed cavern. The only thing keeping them from entering was a sign that read, "Off Limits". The group walked around it, Daring giving it a spiteful kick as she went by.

"So... explain to me again why this place is off limits?" Lugnut whispered. The aura the passage was giving off made him want to be as quiet as he could.

"We found a booby trap," Query explained. "It's right up here. There's a tile on the floor rigged to do... well, something." The group stopped short before an arrow drawn on the ground with chalk that pointed at an ordinary looking brick.

"A rigged brick?" Lugnut asked.

"If you step on it a trap goes off," Daring cautioned. Lugnut placed his hoof on the tile.

"Like this?"

"GET DOWN!" Daring and Query exclaimed as they instinctively hit the deck. Bricks on the walls fell away, revealing row upon rows of metal tubes. Daring and Query listened to the familiar sound of darts, no doubt laden with poison, whizzing over their heads. The sound was accompanied by the unfamiliar sound of the darts impacting Lugnut's iron shell and bouncing off harmlessly. When the firing ceased, Daring and Query stood back up.

"Sorry," Lugnut apologized, drawing an awkward circle on the ground with his hoof. Instead of looking angry, Query and Daring had two very smug grins on their faces.

"Oh, it's no trouble at all Lugnut!" Daring assured him as genuinely as she could manage, extending her phony smile a little. Query put a hoof on Lugnut's shoulder and looked up at him.

"Your punishment is this-"

"You go first," the two ordered in unison. Lugnut heaved a sigh, but lifted his head in confidence as he trudged ahead. Daring and Query silently slapped hooves as they realized they had these ruins in the bag. For two squishy ponies made of flesh like Daring and Query, traps were, needless to say, dangerous; however, an iron pony like Big Lugnut could waltz through the passageway full of traps and come out perfectly fine. That is pretty much what happened.

A pit full of snakes? Even if Lugnut could be bitten, he simply leapt out with his crazy strength.

Swinging log trap? One buck from Lugnut sent the log back where it started.

Walls closing in? The mechanism that was forcing the two walls together groaned and broke as Lugnut held the two walls apart.

Sealed door and a room filling with sand? Escaping was easy as bucking down the stone doors.

Bear traps? Completely useless against solid, iron legs.

"This is like taking candy from a baby!" Daring exclaimed.

"It's so easy, it's not even fun," Query complained, but he was still thankful to be avoiding danger so easily. The group came to an empty room with a large, metal, bejeweled door on the other end.

"Is that was I think it is?" Daring was practically drooling at the thought of their prize being one door away.

"Alright, treasure time!" Query declared, charging forward with Daring towards the door.

*thunk*

No sooner had Query's hoof depressed the rigged brick than the trap engaged. All Lugnut saw was a hollow block on the ceiling crash down over Query and Daring. The room went dark as Query's light was extinguished.

"Daring! Query!" Lugnut yelled into the dark, illuminated only slightly by his violet eyes.

"We're okay!" the muffled voice of Daring responded.

"Hold on! I'll bust you out!" Lugnut walked carefully through the dark until he reached the box. He felt out the edges of it, trying to get a sense for the size. The box was indeed big enough to house two ponies, maybe even a third. Lugnut spaced himself correctly, then reared his hind legs and bucked the box as hard as he could.

The buck produced a satisfying thud, but no results beyond that. Lugnut wouldn't believe that he wasn't strong enough to break the box. Thuds resonated through the chamber as Lugnut tried again and again to break the prison his companions were trapped in.

"It's no good! I can't break it!" Lugnut was forced to admit defeat. "Can you see any way out from inside?"

"Let me check!" Lugnut heard Query's muffled call. Inside the box, Query lit up his horn. On the outside, Lugnut could see a few small points of light rise from the top of the box. "It's solid in here Lugnut!"

"It looks like there are holes in the top! Let me check it out." Lugnut pulled himself up on top of the box, confirming there there were pinpricks of light coming up through the top through a gathering of small holes around the edge. Try as he might, Lugnut couldn't break through the top either. He felt around a little more in the dark. He found that there was a chain secured to the top of the box that probably rose into the ceiling. Big Lugnut couldn't see far enough to confirm it, but he explained what he had found out to Daring and Query inside the box.

"That's good news!" Daring spoke up. "This trap isn't designed to kill, just to capture. There must be a way to disengage it! You've gotta find it!"

"Will you guys be okay in there?" Lugnut asked.

"We've been in stickier situations!" Query assured him.

"Don't put it like that!" Daring scolded Query.

"Why not?"

"It sounds dirty." Daring accented her displeasure by knocking Query with a hoof.

"It's just Lugnut! The big guy doesn't even know about that kind of stuff! Plus, you have to admit that we have gotten pretty sticky together!" Query continued to tease Daring.

"Oh, yeah!" Daring recalled her earlier conversation with Lugnut. "Since we're trapped in this box, I'd like to take a moment to verbally abuse you!"

"What? Why?"

"For having weird conversations with Lugnut about us being his parents!"

"Hey, the big guy brought it up!"

"You can't weasel your way out of this! You're stuck with me!"

"Aww, c'mon! Lugnut, help me out here!" Lugnut hadn't been listening. He'd jumped off the box before the argument started and began blindly searching the room of anything that could set Daring and Query free. His search had turned up nothing so far. He found his way to the door Query and Daring had been so eager to open. For lack of any other options, Lugnut put his head against it and pushed it open.

The ancient hinges creaked in protest, but Lugnut had more than enough strength to force it open. The other side of the door was just as dark as the previous room. He didn't have a clue as to what lay around him. As he gingerly stepped into the room to look around, he suddenly heard quick hoof steps follow him. What sounded like one pony following him suddenly became two. Lugnut looked around in a desperate attempt to see who it was, but the darkness hid the intruders too well.

"Feeling a bit perplexed Big Lugnut?" a voice taunted him.

"Perhaps we should reveal ourselves, brother!"

"Quite right!"

"Alright Flim?"

"Alright Flam!" The room was doused in green light as the unicorn brothers illuminated their horns. Lugnut looked back and forth between the brothers, each positioned on opposite sides of the room with Lugnut between them.

"Oh thank goodness!" Lugnut exclaimed, much to the surprise of the two brothers. "My friends are trapped in that room back there! Can you help me find a way to let them out?"

"Wha? No!" Flim groaned, bringing a hoof to his forehead. "We're here to take the treasure!"

"Once we sell the secrets of this Labyrinth, we'll be swimming in bits!" Flam proclaimed.

"Great!" Everything the brothers had said went right over Lugnut's head. "But first, can we free my friends? ... By the way, how did you two get down here?"

"That's an interesting story, isn't it Flam?"

"Very interesting indeed, Flim! Let's tell him!"

"Very well Flam," Flim began. "When we lost you to the Apples-"

"Hold on!" Big Lugnut interrupted. He'd just remembered why the names Flim and Flam sounded familiar. "You're the ponies who stole me!"

"Bingo!" Flam confirmed Lugnut's suspicions.

"As I was saying," Flim went on. "After we lost you, me and my brother here tailed Daring Do and Query too in order to get another shot at the fortunes this dump hid inside it. We were disappointed to see they were going to give up, but then they found you can came back here."

"We almost lost you on the way here," Flam cut in. "But our ingenious locomotive, The Flim Flam Brother's Bigger Blizzard Buster Beta, got us through the thick snow quick as an arrow. We let you all disengage the traps while we waited for our opportunity to seize the treasure for ourselves!"

"And look what we have here!" Flim turned his horn to illuminate a sight that made Lugnut's soul sink: another dormant iron pony.

"No way," Lugnut whispered to himself. Flam too turned his horn, revealing there was yet another iron pony in the room. The two ponies looked eerily similar to Lugnut, but each one had a glaring difference. The one behind Flim had a long, open slash on either side of its back. The pony behind Flam had a gaping hole in its forhead. Neither pony was wearing a yoke, but both had a large, red "x" on their flanks.

"Me and my brother were wondering how to stop you," Flam started.

"But a two on one fight of robot ponies should do just the trick!" Flim finished. Before Lugnut could do anything to stop the brothers, they each zapped their respective iron pony into life. Both iron ponies' eyes sparked green before stabilizing into solid green circles.

"Nil, ready for duty," the pony behind Flam droned.

"Null, ready for duty," the pony behind Flim opened with the same line and the same, dead voice.

"Alright, Nil! Be so kind as the show Lugnut here the door!"

"You too Null! Show Lugnut who's the boss!" the brothers commanded their robots.

"Error."

"Huh?" Flam looked up at Nil.

"Nil has no knowledge of a 'Lugnut'. Autonomous action selected." The hole in Nil's head sparked momentarily before a horn of green light shot forth from it.

"Error."

"Uh-oh," Flim backed off as Null began the same process as Nil.

"Null has no knowledge of a 'Lugnut'. Autonomous action selected." The two slashes began leaking green energy as two green, glowing wings extended from Null's body. The two robots droned their selected course of action in tandem.

"Eliminate Trespassers."

"Should we retreat Flam?"

"We should retreat Flim!" the two brothers took off, shouldering past Big Lugnut as they made their way out the door. Nil and Null slowly trotted up to Big Lugnut, their bodies creaking from ages of idling. Lugnut braced himself against the two ponies, but was surprised when they both came to a halt right before him.

"One, why have you let the trespassers escape?" Nil asked Lugnut.

"Huh?" Lugnut wasn't exactly sure what was going on.

"'Huh' is not an adequate explanation, One. Disciplinary action selected." Null raised his wings, letting the sheets of green energy tower over Big Lugnut. Nil's horn started crackling with bolts of green electricity.

"You have three seconds to comply with our orders, One," Nil warned.

"One," Null began the countdown. Big Lugnut didn't wait for him to finish. He promptly spun about and bucked his aggressors. Both ponies' hooves disconnected from the ground as they flew backwards, clattering against the opposite wall. As the two ponies lay still against the wall, Big Lugnut spotted something on the far wall in the green light: a lever.

"Insubordination." Nil was back on his hooves much too soon..

"Shoot," Lugnut groaned. Null was up just as fast, taking to his wings and charging at Lugnut. Lugnut had never known anypony but himself to move so fast. Null slammed into Lugnut full force, causing every part of Lugnut's body that could feel it to fill with a dull, throbbing pain. Lugnut tumbled across the floor, righting himself and ducking as Null tried to make another pass. With the success of dodging Null's assault came a stinging pain as a bolt from Nil's horn struck Lugnut.

Lugnut's knees buckled and he hit the floor. He didn't stay there long as Null swooped down and picked him up. Null banked upwards and let go of Lugnut, throwing him headfirst into the ceiling. Dizzy with a throbbing headache, Lugnut didn't even feel Nil surround him with his magic. Lugnut watched the room whiz by in a blur of darkness and sickly, green light as his body was driven into the floor.

Lugnut was feeling the effects of being partly organic. He'd never felt pain to such an extent and was sure if he wasn't made of iron he would be crushed. His opponents weren't like him. Nil and Null didn't feel pain and wouldn't stop their assault until their bodies were completely disassembled.

When his head stopped spinning, he made out the forms of Nil and Null standing over him in all their glory.

"Your insubordination will not be tolerated," Nil reprimanded Lugnut.

"There is only one suitable recourse." Null put his wings to his sides.

"Disassembly," Nil demanded.

"Destruction," Null commanded. The two iron ponies turned their heads to look at one another for a moment, but quickly turned back to Lugnut.

"Disassembly."

"Destruction," the iron ponies gave their orders simultaneously.

"Well, which is it? Disassembly or destruction?" Lugnut groand. "I can only do one."

"Disassembly."

"Destruction." The iron ponies held fast to their respective verdicts.

"There is only one way to settle this," Lugnut explained. "We'll just do what the superior officer recommends. So... if we follow the superior officer, the punishment is..."

"Disassembly."

"Destruction." Nil and Null turned to look at one another.

"Well, which one of you is superior?" Lugnut egged them on. Nil and Null didn't break eye contact with one another.

"Nil was made first; therefore, Nil is superior."

"Null was constructed to succeed where Nil fails; therefore, Null is superior."

"Negative. Nil is superior. Disassembly is the proper punishment."

"Error. Superiority belongs to Null. Seizing control." Null spread his wings and bashed his body into Nil. Nil was knocked right off his hooves and into the opposite wall. Lugnut began to stealthily pull his aching body out from between the two ponies.

"Subordination will not be tolerated. Stopping usurper." Nil stood right back up and fired a bolt of energy at Null. The result was rather impressive.

Null lit up bright green as energy sparked from his eyes and wing holes. Energy flew out of his body and into Nil, causing Nil's eyes on horn hole to spark similarly. The exchange of energy raged on, bathing the room in bright, green light as Nil and Null's robotic voices chattered at high speeds.

As suddenly as the display started, it came to an unceremonious halt. The room was plunged back into complete darkness. Lugnut drug himself back onto his hooves and made his way back towards where he saw the lever. His limping around in the dark eventually got him to his mark. He pulled the lever and listened as gears creaked above and behind him. Big Lugnut collapsed on the ground. Even in the parts that were previously numb, Lugnut felt pain. Lugnut's entire body felt pain and for the first time ever Lugnut himself felt out of breath. Although it was supposed to be a good sign, Lugnut didn't exactly feel like celebrating the developments.

"Lugnut?" Query's head and illuminated horn peeked into the room. He looked at the two empty eyed, iron ponies that stood in the center of the room and then at Lugnut who lay on the floor. "Wow, what happened here?"

"Uh well-" Lugnut tried to start, but Query interrupted him.

"Because something interesting certainly happened in this other room, here. Not out there in the box, oh no! The box was boring, nothing happened in the box. It was boring. Nothing happened. I swear it." Just then Daring carefully trotted in through the door. She took in the scene in the same order Query did. She quickly rushed over to Lugnut.

"Dang, are you okay?" she stooped down and asked him. Daring usually looked very composed, so Lugnut couldn't help but notice her shirt was buttoned wrong. Lugnut put that out of his head though, and explained what had happened.

"So... these ponies were Mephisto's failures?" Query glanced over at the now harmless looking husks of iron. He extended his magic and examined Nil and Null. "Whoa... that's... this is unreal..."

"What is it?" Daring swooped over and took a look for herself, even though she could not physically see what Query was going on about.

"These ponies are nothing like Lugnut at all!" Query exclaimed.

"What?" Big Lugnut couldn't believe what he'd just heard. "I'm telling you, Flim and Flam zapped them and they came to life, just like me!"

"Explain yourself, Query," Daring encouraged.

"When we dug up Lugnut, his power source came mostly from his organic center, right?" Daring and Lugnut nodded in confirmation. "These ponies... well, they don't have any organic part. They were just... robots."

"B-b-but that's impossible!" Daring grabbed Query's horn and shook him. "Check it again! Nopony has ever built something like that before! It's impossible!"

"I'm telling the truth," Query groaned. "Nil and Null are one hundred percent machine."

"Hey now, let go of me!"

"We didn't do anything wrong!" Lugnut and company watched as armored guards came pouring into the room, unicorns with their horns alight and pegasi with torches in their mouths. Two of the unicorn guards were dragging Flim and Flam in behind them as they continued to protest. The last ponies to enter were two ponies Daring and Query recognized. The first was Ivy League, their common enemy, but the other one was somepony both Daring and Query respected.

"Cheif!" Daring trotted over to the gold maned gentlecolt with Query following right behind.

"Professor Pants? What're you doing here?" Query's question elicited a hardy chuckle from his long-time mentor.

"I say, I am here on account of the letter you sent me." Professor Smarty Pants stuffed his pipe through his mustache and blew a ring of smoke as he adjusted his monocle. "I heard how insistent you were on investigating this area, so I decided to come down and examine the danger for myself. I must say, it hasn't been dangerous at all. Somepony has already sprung all the traps."

"But Pruh-fess-uuuur!" Ivy whined, "Daring and Query sprung them all coming down here!"

"Actually, I sprung all those traps," Big Lugnut broke in.

"By Luna!" Professor Pants scuttled over to where Lugnut was picking himself off the floor. "You sir are a very interesting pony. If I am not mistaken, you are the pony that was taken from us over two months ago! Big Lugnut, right?"

"That's what I'm told," Lugnut groaned as he stabilized his aching legs.

"Fascinating! Absolutely fascinating! And who are these gents standing so perfectly still?"

"Those were the first two ponies Mephisto created," Daring explained. "Their names are Nil and Null."

"Do they... turn on?" Ivy's horn began to light up.

"NO!" Flim, Flam, Daring, Query, and Lugnut shouted. Ivy nearly jumped out of her skin before powering down her horn.

"Very good, I declare this part of Mephisto's Labyrinth open for excavation. Seeing as Mr. Lugnut was so instrumental in making it safe for exploration, he deserves a reward of some sort! Ivy, go back to the entrance and get my satchel so I can pay the pony!" Professor Pants laughed.

"But Pruh-fess-uuuur!"

"Lugnut." Big Lugnut looked over to his companions, who were signalling him to follow them. With the immense amount of light now in the room, Daring and Query managed to find a rather plain looking door leading out of the chamber they were in. The three ponies opened the door up and went inside, looking around the small room with the light from Query's horn.

"I think this is what we're looking for," Daring noted. The room they were in looked like the cramped study and sleeping quarters of an eccentric genius. As the three ponies rooted around, they found two trunks full of personal effects. Out of one of these chests, Daring carefully pulled out a thick, tattered diary. Query used his magic to pluck it from her hooves and gently open it. The three ponies skimmed through the pages, searching for entries of interest.

The diary revealed everything that had gone through the pony known as Mephisto's mind. He'd constructed the large Labyrinth to house a city's worth of ponies. The combination of harsh, cold weather and rampant monsters made it impossible for the ponies that had traveled so far north to settle down properly. The stallions were wearing themselves thin in their attempts to liberate the landscape of hydras, dragons, and other threatening beasts.

Mephisto decided to attempt to create his own artificial life to act as the soldiers to fight against the monsters. After years of theorizing and experimenting, he finally had his first success in creating Nil. Nil could not operate very long because he lost too much of his own magical energy through his horn. Nil's magic exhausted every source it could find in its body, eventually sacrificing its organic side for power. Without it, Nil could not operate or retain magic for long.

Next to be created was Null. By creating a pegasus, Mephisto was sure he had eliminated the problem of exhausting magic. In an unforeseen turn of events, the metal wings Null was equipped with would not synch with his organic system. The magical system destroyed and replaced them with a pair of magic wings. Null fell to the same fate as Nil.

When Lugnut proved himself as the first true success, Mephisto set to work creating his army. The iron ponies marched against every threatening monster, either forcing them to leave or destroying them. Towns sprung up in the north as the environment became safer and safer. The iron ponies continued to patrol the towns and the areas around them, making sure all was safe.

Mephisto was irate when the iron ponies began breaking rank, but two months after the first pony did so he discovered exactly why it was happening as the first iron pony shed its shell. His spell to suppress consciousness had been weakened by some internal force of the true pony within. It was becoming common knowledge among the townspeople that any unicorn could snap an iron pony out of the spell. Mephisto decided to submit to his creations entering society as normal ponies. He sent them patrolling towns frequently and often, in hopes that the unicorns in town would eventually be able to snap them all out of their trances.

Eventually, every iron pony except for Lugnut had left. Mephisto saw how happy his creations were in their new lives and ended up becoming more social himself. He began spending more and more time in town. He returned to the Labyrinth one day to find somepony had tried to ransack it. The destruction to much of the chambers too extensive for the lone unicorn who broke in to have caused. Mephisto found that the intruder had activated Nil and Null, who ended up having a battle between the two of them. Big Lugnut reported that he had tried to stop the two from fighting, which Mephisto interpreted as an admission that he too had caused the destruction. Mephisto made a tough decision.

In his very last entry, Mephisto details how he had decided to hide Nil and Null in the deepest portion of his Labyrinth and place traps for anypony who tried to enter in. Knowing he was still around and about, Mephisto even built a sturdy box trap if Big Lugnut ever tried to wander down towards them. Mephisto had hoped Lugnut could join his fellow soldiers in a life outside the Labyrinth, but he decided it would be better if Lugnut was shut down and hidden amongst the rubble.

"Woah," Query gasped. Daring and Lugnut were equally as shocked by what they'd just read, but preferred to mull it over in silence. "How's that for tying up loose ends, Lugnut?"

"This explains it all... I'm glad I came here." Memories seeped back into Lugnut's brain. A blurred face started becoming clearer and clearer until the face of the pony who created him returned to his memory. It was a face wracked with guilt, but resolute in its purpose.

"I'm sorry, One. Maybe someday you'll find a home."

It was then that Lugnut's memory blanked out entirely, as if somepony had flicked a switch in his head. He had still been aware, in some sense. There was a memory of waiting alone for a long, long time before he finally woke up again. Remembering the final words his master had spoke gave Lugnut the confirmation he was looking for.

"But Pruh-fess-uuuur!"

"Oh Ivy, hush. Is Lugnut in here?" Professor Pants entered the dark study with Ivy trailing behind him.

"Yeah, I'm here," Lugnut spoke up and walked over to the door to talk with him.

"Well, the boys just got done appraising Nil and Null, so I can pay you some of your share up front. For the rest of the bits, I'm going to have to know where you make your home, Mr. Lugnut." Big Lugnut suddenly remembered everything he'd left behind to come this far. His journey was done now, so he submitted to homesickness.

"Ponyville, Sweet Apple Acres. If you don't mind, I'd like to get back there as soon as possible."

_______________

"We've arrived at Sub-Cloudsdale Station. All departing passengers can exit at this time. Next stop will be Ponyville Station."

Lugnut looked down at the saddlebags Smarty Pants had forced on him. What he was going to do with the contents, he hadn't a clue. The final leg of the week long train ride was coming to a close. It might seem like an awfully large waste of time to have traveled two weeks round trip to spend one day at the Labyrinth, but Lugnut was sure it was all worth it. He was eager to get back to Ponyville and see all his friends, but most of all Applejack. She might be sore that he ran off without warning, but Lugnut was ready to make it up to her. He'd been away from work for far too long and his idle life of waiting on and for trains was beginning to wear on him. In a few short hours though, the vacation would be over.

"Well now." Lugnut turned and looked up at the pony who was standing next to him in the isle. "I've got the seat across from you, mind if I take it?"

"Go right ahead." Lugnut watched the blue pegasus mare sit down across from him. If her voice wasn't so distinctively female, Big Lugnut may have seen the short cut, white mane and large build as signs that she was a stallion.

"So, where are you headed stranger?" Even if her voice was feminine, it still had a gruff edge to it.

"Ponyville."

"Business or pleasure?" the mare asked.

"Uh... I live in Ponyville," Lugnut explained. "What about you?"

"Me? I'm headed to Ponyville because just a few days ago I get a letter from my daughter saying she's getting married."

"Oh, congratulations!"

"I don't know about that." The mare furrowed her brow as her tone became cross. "I didn't even know she had a coltfriend. There weren't too many details about him or their relationship in the letter, so I'm coming out here to make sure she didn't get knocked up."

"Knocked up?" The mare looked utterly astonished that the phrase wasn't understood, but she had no idea that Lugnut was ignorant down to the last detail about the phrase.

"How old are you?" she asked. Lugnut didn't actually know how old he was, but thankfully it was a rhetorical question. "Schoolfillies know what that phrase means. Didn't you pay attention in Sex Ed.?"

"Sex Ed.?"

"You're joking right?" the mare yelled. "You don't even know what Sex Ed. is? Did you even go to school?"

"No," Lugnut admitted, drawing the last straw the mare had as she nearly blew her lid.

"Well then this is your lucky day!" the mare declared. "I work as a midwife in Cloudsdale, so I can tell you everything you need to know from beginning to end."

"That would be great!" Lugnut opened the door to a world he had not imagined in his wildest dreams.

Comments

[XxTestName69xX]

A daughter getting married in Ponyville? This can't possibly be foreshadowing of any kind!

[Menelaus Redz]

Well that must have been an awkward conversation at the end there.

And New Chapter!!

[djthomp]

Well, Lugnut needs to hear about the birds and the bees at some point, might as well be from a professional on the topic.

[Lemonschooner]

The part where Query takes the journal out of Daring's hands caught me a bit off-guard.

[Luna Eclipse]

Love toe story to death. But could you explain the meanings of the chapter titles? I know what each object itself is, but it doesnt seem to relate to the story much. Like this chapter, Antivirus. The title would suggest something like an immune system. But I came across nothing like that AT ALL. Would you please explain? Thank you.

Signed,
Luna Eclipse

[Aegis Shield]

Magnificant chapter. As our story begins to wind down and Big Lugnut approaches his mortal form of a fleshy pony.... he's right on time to find such a bizarre and perfect passenger on the train.

Seriously excellent battle with Nil and Null, though. I liked that a lot.

I'm still very much looking forward to what Big Lugnut will look like when he's done transforming, as well as what his cutie mark might be. I hope you put a good deal of thought into that particular detail, and make it something good!

[A mess]

oh my....
Poor lugnut I get the feeling even creepy old queery would be more tactful then the mare he is talkin to...
He's gunna need a good shower after that, hope he is rust proof enough for that scouring otherwise he's going be squeakier then a mouse on helium each time he takes a step.

[Fluttershysawhoooooooors]

Judging by Daring's shirt being messed up and Query's actions, I guess their situation really did get sticky

[stotans]

I remember my first sex ed. Class

They served hot dogs that day.

[Kamineigh]

726940

I think it referred to Nil and Null. They both had some kind of disease that caused the to malfunction.

Or booby traps. I could be paraphrasing.

[Clemerl]

Professor. Smarty. Pants....Me thinks he happens to have some relation to a plush of similar name, Yes?

[Koala2001]

1140710 I have come to the same conclusion... Me thinks the doll was named for him...maybe

[Shadowshame]

Well I feel sorry for Lugnut he is about to have his innocence shattered