Robotic Stallion Big Lugnut

by Hooves Like Jagger

Extra: Autopilot

Robotic Stallion Big Lugnut
Author: HoovesLikeJagger
Extra

_________________

"I know I always said it was my dream to be covered in fillies one day, but this wasn't at all what I had in mind."

"Query, that wasn't funny the first time you said it, why do you keep trying?" Daring Do asked. Query thought for a moment while four little fillies used his body as a playground.

"Just making sure your sense of humor hasn't changed after all these years of marriage."

"You mean these four years of marriage?" Daring said. "No, you're still not funny."

"I think you're funny, Daddy!" one of the fillies said from between Query's front legs.

"Yeah, Daddy is funny!" another added as she dangled from his neck.

"The funniest!" one more filly said as she rolled over on her father's back. The fourth one didn't say anything because she was dangling from his tail by her teeth. Query took a moment to wonder, once again, how he'd managed to sire four female pegasi in a row.

"C'mon girls, you can swarm your father after he gets inside the house," Daring said as she started plucking ponies off her husband. All four fillies scampered back to what they were doing before their father arrived, giggling all the while. She watched them go with a fond smile before turning back to her husband. She locked her eyes onto his and leered at him. Query grinned sheepishly while walking into the house and closing the door behind him.

"Look, I'm sorry. I can't exactly ignore an urgent letter from the University," he said, trying to apologize for leaving all of a sudden a week ago. The family had plans to visit the ancient crypt of a long dead warlock a few days ago, but Query's absence meant Daring Do had to make sure her offspring didn't fall into any cesspools of forbidden magic all by herself. "And I've got good news! Fantastic news, actually."

"Are they going to let us search somewhere exciting?" Daring asked with a hopeful grin. Query working at the University meant that Daring Do was something of a stay-at-home-mom, but the family hardly every stayed at home. In the past, Daring refused to let being pregnant or taking care of a small child slow her down. Query was able to keep their adventures somewhat tame by carefully selecting which ancient ruins to poke around, but now that all four of the children could walk and run on their own Daring was pushing for progressively dangerous digs. Query knew once all four of them could fly they'd return to their old routine of getting into life threatening situations.

"No, nothing like that," Query responded and watched Daring's expression deflate a little. "Canterlot History Museum bought Nil and Null for permanent display."

"Really?" Daring Do's expression lit back up. "Somepony finally put forward that ridiculous sum the University was asking for them?"

"Well, a slightly discounted number, but only slightly," Query said. Daring Do squealed and threw her front hooves around her husband.

"Hot diggety! That's money in the bank!" she said as she laughed right into his ears. "You always said your dream was to be surrounded by fillies and have lots of money!"

"Yeah, I guess I did," Query said with a little sigh, but the sigh did not go unnoticed by Daring Do. She pulled away and looked back up at him.

"What's the matter? Am I not allowed to use your jokes?" Daring asked, trying to lighten the mood a bit. Query let himself laugh.

"Naw... it's just, I can't help thinking about what could've been," he said. Daring Do cocked an eyebrow, so Query went on to explain. "Nil and Null only rampaged because they were activated by those idiot Flim Flam brothers without any kind of preparation. If somepony was allowed to turn them on carefully, they might be able to do some real good. I dunno what, but it might beat just having them stand around in a museum all day."

"Poor, poor Query," Daring said, ruffling Query's mane with a hoof. "Always asking questions he can't have the answer to. Let's just be happy with how things turned out."

"No, no, I'm happy, but you're right," Query said with another sigh. "It's just in my nature to ask 'what if?' over and over."

"That's fine and all, but how about asking some more pertinent what-ifs, like what if we cancelled dinner and took the girls out to eat to celebrate?" Query asked, hinting at the fact that she wanted to do more than just theorize.

"What if you actually cooked for once?" Query asked right back. Daring scowled at him, but she didn't have time to reprimand him. The four fillies galloped back into the room and started to climb all over their father again.

"Momma's cooking is gross!" the second oldest filly said with a giggle, latching herself onto her father's front leg.

"Well, I didn't marry her because she was a good cook," Query said as one of the little pegasi managed to climb on top of his head.

"Yeah, Daddy said I was the reason they got married!" The eldest filly said as she jumped up onto her father's back. Daring Do shot Query a dirty look, making him tense up instantly.

"Hey kiddos! What if we all went out to eat tonight?" Query asked in an attempt to delay his inevitable beating. Each filly cheered wildly in approval as they cantered off to grab boots and scarves for the night's cold air. Daring Do, and Query too, watched them go.

"Good call there," Daring said, turning back towards him with a sly look. "A night corralling the girls will get your mind of those robots." Query chuckled and gave his wife a peck on the cheek.

"Yeah, it would be best if I just forgot them now. I can what-if about them all my life, but in the end they're just going to sit in that museum for all eternity. I'm sure nothing exciting is going to happen...

"...

"Right?"

Comments

[JCatt]

6 month comeback? Cool with mee

[totallynotabrony]

If somepony was allowed to turn them of carefully, they might be able to do some real good.

[Hooves Like Jagger]

1691793
Error? What error? I see no error!
img.photobucket.com/albums/v212/Eunoss/Applelie.jpg

[Olivine Ellva]

I haven't read this yet, but strangely enough, after seeing the title and description of this story, the
first thing that ran through my mind was this: Robotica Farms

I know this story won't be in any way related to that, but that was just the first thing that went through my mind.

[Lemonschooner]

Can't believe I forgot to thumbs-up this story before it finished.

[Hooves Like Jagger]

1697064
Hahn... I remember that... whatever. Paper Mario didn't invent stepping on contact lenses.

[Codyray1]

Fancy!
And they called me a fool when I asked for updates via email despite the story being completed! THEY MOCKED ME! WELL WHO'S LAUGHING NO- Oh wait no one said anything.
So. Setup for a possible sequel? If so, joy, if not, still joy due to good story.

[Hooves Like Jagger]

1697851
Setup for a possible sequel? Possible sequel? But, at the end there was a... and I put it... so you could... and... uh... uh...

Uh... UH... UUUUUUH... IDUNNOMAYBEITIS.

[Codyray1]

1697870
Odd, I moused over that blue text in the story earlier, nothing came up so I thought it was just different colored text. Now it's a link for me. I'M CALLING HAX.

[Hooves Like Jagger]

1698932
You can call hax...

But I'll be the one who answers.

[Codyray1]

1698954
Must... Resist... "Oh you" picture...

[Chaotic Mind]

I really liked this story. Gave me an idea for one I may eventually get to.
Or not...

[Hooves Like Jagger]

1729308

That would never really happen.

Out of all the things you could have picked to say this about...

And I dunno about you, but if I met a fully grown man on a train who had no idea what the birds and the bees were, I'd be inclined to help him out there. You know, "Insert Strut P into Sprocket V." It isn't like it's that complicated and-

...

Am I really sitting here and defending this?

[Luckysweep]

1729349
Seriously? You would? I would just tell them to look it up on the internet, or just throw them the nearest playboy available.

No, I'm not serious. I'm not that kind of person! I'd just have the person next to me explain it.

[Cusi]

This story is NOT what I expected at all. The funny thing about clichés is that if you use them, they are easily spotted and people may complain the story is unoriginal. If you don't use them, people may complain about how the story has no real following.

I expected this story to be full of jokes about how a robot doesn't initially fit in pony society, and the robot being a lifeless machine; and that's pretty much it. You went ahead and gave some of those jokes to your story; but also gave Big Lugnut a personality, quirks, qualities, and overall existential issues any sentient being may have.

You, sir/ma'am, wrote a story that completely surpassed my expectations. I congratulate you and expect more great stories from you.

[Kage no Brony]

1729349

That's fine and all, but how about asking some more pertinent what-ifs, like what if we cancelled dinner and took the girls out to eat to celebrate?" Query asked, hinting at the fact that she wanted to do more than just theorize.

"What if you actually cooked for once?" Query asked right back. Daring scowled at him, but she didn't have time to reprimand him. The four fillies galloped back into the room and started to climb all over their father again.

I believe that's Daring talking, unless Query randomly split into two opposite gender copies...

[djthomp]

5558890 140w, 6d ago

[Rhythmic Gravity Chance]

I actually read this story way before I actually joined FIMFiction, glad it still exist!

[Majk]

Hah That was a solid piece of writing. Respect and thanks for letting us read it.

[Zubric]

A shame all the art is blurry. Stupid photo bucket