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I: Sparkplug4,996 words
II: User Interface4,956 words
III: Transmission5,133 words
IV: Firewall5,424 words
V: Actuator5,348 words
VI: Microphone5,269 words
VII: Assembly Line5,037 words
VIII: Proxy Server5,103 words
IX: Screws5,741 words
X: Alternator6,349 words
XI: Turbocharger5,361 words
XII: Speakers5,596 words
XIII: GPS5,395 words
XIV: Antivirus7,275 words
XV: Piston5,170 words
Finale: Lugnut4,549 words
Epilogue: Exhaust3,036 words
Extra: Autopilot1,016 words

IV: Firewall

Robotic Stallion Big Lugnut
Author: HoovesLikeJagger
Chapter IV

___________________

After managing to escape the topic of his apple bucking handicap, Big Lugnut began to enjoy his second outing to Ponyville, and was more than Applejack being nice to him. This time when he walked into town, everypony just went on doing what they had been doing originally. Ponies watered gardens, chatted idly with their friends, and sat outside eating in the day's beautiful sunshine. Despite the unfamiliar feeling of his surroundings, Lugnut felt much more at home.

Lugnut and Applejack passed through the town's main plaza and up into the market square, new territory for Lugnut. There were vendors on every street they used to get there, but compared to the sight before them those other vendors looked lost. Tents and tall wooden stands created a veritable maze for the pedestrians. There were stands that sold all sorts of crops and stands that only sold a single crop. There were stands for flowers, for baked goods, and things Big Lugnut could not identify.

"Here she is! The Sweet Apple Acre's stand!" Applejack announced. Big Lugnut wheeled around behind the large, apple adorned counter and sign to unhitch himself from the apple laden cart behind him. "Start unloading Big Lug! I'll be right back," Applejack barked, trotting off someplace else.

"Where are you going?" Lugnut asked. Applejack didn't respond, leaving Big Lugnut to his own devices.

____________________

Applejack opened the door to Carousel Boutique. Rarity whipped around at the sound of the door's bell ringing.

"Welcome to Carouse-... Oh, it's just you Applejack." Rarity went back to what she was doing, levitating needles, threads, and assortments of different colored fabrics. "If you're looking for your aprons, they're sitting on the counter over there. I don't know how you and Big Macintosh made such a mess of them, but they're as good as new now. Although, my offer to beautify them still stands."

"Sorry Rarity," Applejack donned her own apron, putting Big Mac's in her saddlebag. "I'm gonna havta decline. Mighty glad you offered." Rarity turned around and peered over her glasses at Applejack.

"Stop right there missy." Applejack turned and faced Rarity at her request. Rarity walked up to her. She examined her closely, pacing around Applejack.

"Somethin' wrong Rarity?" she asked. Applejack was eager to return to her stand. Scheming trickster or not, she probably shouldn't leave Big Lugnut to tend the stand alone.

"You seem to be in an awfully high spirits today, dearie. Did something happen?" she asked. Applejack sensed this was a weighted question. She started wanting out of this conversation.

"I guess stuff happened," Applejack admitted.

"What kind of stuff, darling?" Rarity questioned. Applejack didn't want to explain everything right now. "I didn't see you at the party last night, were you there?"

"Oh, I was there." Something in Applejack's head told her she had just opened a door, and Rarity was going to walk through it.

"But you weren't with us, darling! We had the most magnificent time, the new colt in town is an... eh... interesting... pony? Anyway, it was a very nice time. It would have been better if Rainbow Dash hadn't drank that much wine. It was only three glasses, but really! She's just so small and liquor just does not agree with her. You've seen her around cider, right? Oh, I do hope she's okay..."

"Oh she's fine. Slept like a rock and woke up sayin' she was jus' fine!" Applejack realized what she said brought a look of surprise to Rarity's face.

"H-how would you know that?" Rarity got right up in Applejack's face. Applejack wanted nothing more than to return to her apple stand.

"She wasn't in any shape to fly on home, so she slept over at my place," Applejack found the truth did not line up with Rarity's perception of last night.

"But Twilight said she was going to make sure Rainbow Dash was returned home... she and Big Lugnut, oh Big Lugnut is the new colt, but... oh-eh... how did you end up with her?" Applejack knew where this was going. If she answered this question, she'd have to explain why she didn't let Big Lugnut take Rainbow Dash back to her house. If she explained that, she would have to explain why she didn't trust Big Lugnut. If she had to explain that, she'd have to explain what happened with the Flim Flam Brothers. If she explained that she'd have to explain how Big Lugnut has no memories of the competition. That last point is what got her. She recalled how earnest he was and the lengths Lugnut went through to explain his amnesia to Applejack. Most of all she recalled how he told her he hadn't told anypony else. He wanted to keep it under wraps. For one reason or another, she wanted to help him do that.

"Well I'd love to stick 'round and chat, but I've got apples to sell!" Applejack turned around and simply left her friend without a parting word. Rarity was left to try and put things together herself, or rather she would have tried to put things together herself if she hadn't thought of somepony else she would call upon for information.

____________________

Big Macintosh's apron fit Big Lugnut perfectly. Applejack was glad that it did because she couldn't be certain how sanitary a robot was.

"Now, all y'all have to do is ask the customer how many apples they want, give them the apples, and then take their bits. Remember, the price is two bits for every pound." Applejack explained. Big Lugnut had so many questions. "Any questions?" Lugnut shook his head like the genius he was. "Then we're..."

"OPEN FOR BUSINESS!"

The magic words brought with them a swarm of mares and colts clamoring for apples. Big Lugnut didn't have the facts to explain this phenomenon, but it was very simple. There were plenty of stalls that sold Sweet Apple Acre apples, but they only had a limited amount and sold them at a much higher price. Granted these stalls could get away with it, none of them even bother to put apples out if the true Sweet Apple Acres stand is open. They always had a massive bounty of apples that could be bought on a school filly's allowance. That's only the business side of things though. The main reason is that Sweet Apple Acre apples are good enough to kill for.

"Why hello Big Lugnut! I didn't know you worked at Sweet Apple Acres," a pony greeted Big Lugnut. He didn't recognize the azure and white pony who appeared before him, but he supposed that after the party last night there was no shortage of ponies who knew his name.

"Uh, I do now." Big Lugnut felt odd making small talk with a pony who's name he didn't know. "Apples?"

"Oh yes!" the azure pony grabbed something out of her saddle bag and dropped it on the counter before Big Lugnut. He stared down at the four golden discs before him.

"Sweet apples now what?" Big Lugnut murmered to himself.

"Remember, the price is two bits for every pound"

Big Lugnut stared down at the four objects before him, panicking. He tried to calm down and think about the issue rationally. He either needed to give her eight bits of apples for her four pounds or two pounds of apples for her four bits. He wondered which part of the apple was the pound and the bit. He turned to Applejack.

"Mornin' Carrot Top! Yer usual?" the yellow pony nodded. Big Lugnut tried to examine the exchange ratio of apples to gold thingies, but it took place too quickly. Applejack's next transaction didn't even require words between the two ponies. Big Lugnut deeply regretted not asking questions. He spun his head back towards the azure pony. She was smiling at him. Her teeth are very shiny. Lugnut looked down at the discs of gold, which were also very shiny. He peered over at Applejack again. He watched her throw some she got from a customer into a chest between her hooves and Lugnut's hooves. She then went over to the apple barrel and counted out five apples. She took those apples and gave them to the customer. Both ponies smiled at one another.

Big Lugnut sprang into action. He slammed his hoof onto the bits, grating them against the counter as he violently slid them into the chest. He spun his head all the way around and looked at the barrel of apples behind him. He hooked it with his hind leg and brought it closer to his side. By this point, he had caught Applejack's attention.

"Uh... Lugnut?" It was too late. Big Lugnut picked up a single apple in both hooves. It was squished completely flat. He carefully tried again, gingerly setting it before the azure pony. She looked absolutely mortified. Big Lugnut repeated this ritual until he had set down five intact apples. The whole display in its entirety lasted six minutes. Afterwards, the Sweet Apple Acres stand took a ten minute break before reopening without incident.

___________________

Rarity was just stepping out of her shop when she noticed the most bashful of her friends, and possibly of all ponies, approaching her establishment. Fluttershy's head was hanging a bit low, which either meant something was troubling her or that she was being shy. The latter was more likely considering Fluttershy's disposition.

"Good morning Fluttershy!" Rarity greeted her enthusiastically, "I'm sorry, but I'm going to be closing for a moment while I visit Twilight. Would you like to accompany me?" Fluttershy looked up and nodded.

"Well... actually," she stumbled over her words. Rarity knew something was up for sure now. Fluttershy was acting really weird, for Fluttershy at least. "I just wanted to talk to you about... something."

"Then come, come! We'll talk while we walk dearie," she smiled walked towards her friend. Fluttershy smiled, picked her head up a bit and strode side by side with her friend.

"Now tell me, what's on your mind?"

"Well... you see, about last night..."

"Ah yes, the party! Quite the exciting evening if I do say so myself. Big Lugnut seems nice, eh-even if he is a robot. I know it seems odd, but I believe he can be trusted, darling! Twilight trusts him and Rainbow Dash seem to like him too, so there's no reason to be afraid of him."

"Oh-oh yes, I know he's nice and, uhm, I'm not that afraid of him... but, I actually wanted to talk about, well, something else..."

"Oh? And what would that be darling?"

"Well, you know... when we had the wine..."

"Oh, I see what you're getting at. You know what, I don't really like it when Rainbow Dash drinks like that either, but I heard from Applejack that she's recovered. Rainbow Dash is tough, but she's just not a drinker. Now there's nothing wrong with that, but one must recognize when one has reached one's limits. We have to assume some of the responsibility too, since we know how Rainbow Dash can get. In the future we must remind herself to limit her alcohol consumption. Not to say she has a problem, I mean, she hardly ever drinks. When she does drink though her weakness for it shines through."

"Oh, I understand... but... Rarity, I actually wanted to talk about, uhm... something different..."

"Oh I'm sorry Fluttershy! I was just running my mouth without thinking about you. I mean, this is your conversation for your benefit. You shouldn't allow me to just run off on a tangent on my own. I don't know if you've heard me talk, but I can go on for a long time without realizing I'm boring everypony. Now I know it's not your strong point, but you really must speak up if I'm just rambling! I won't be offended, so don't feel afraid to interrupt me if I'm going off on my own. I don't mean to be rude, but my train of thought just keeps going. I'm like this all the time at work too! I start one dress, but leave it when I think of another dress that I leave because I think of another. I am just a nightmare of side-tracking and I just never get anything done! Sometimes I think I should just restrict myself to one dress, but I don't want to stifle my creativity. I mean, just the other day..."

____________________

"...that just couldn't be ignored. I just told him she was probably going through a phase, but with kids today you just can't tell. Do you understand what I mean?"

"No... not at all." Fluttershy had never been so confused, and she was good friends with Pinkie Pie. Rarity's train of thought was more like a pioneer wagon train of thought.

"Oh, well it's not that important," Rarity laughed. Fluttershy didn't realize how much of a saint she was for not strangling her friend right then and there. "Now, what were you saying?"

"Well it's just that, uhm, before we drank that wine you said... that... that drinking it was... it was..." Fluttershy began to blush. Thankfully, Rarity finally, and actually, knew what was going on.

"That drinking it was like falling in love?" Rarity mused. Fluttershy nodded slowly.

"Well... I was wondering... uhm... exactly, what does that mean?" Fluttershy squeaked. Her nervousness couldn't betray Rarity's scrutinizing eyes and ears though. Rarity could tell Fluttershy was really curious.

"Well, didn't it make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Didn't you suddenly feel like you could write poetry? Didn't you feel a bit embarrassed?" Rarity poked each question at her friend, enjoying the sadistic pleasure of seeing her squirm in response. Fluttershy whimpered something in response, but Rarity didn't quite catch it. She leaned in a perked up an ear. Fluttershy caught the hint and repeated herself.

"Is that really what falling in love is like?" she only just audibly squeaked. Rarity had to think that over for a moment.

"Well I believe it's different for everyone, darling. Why the sudden interest?" Rarity could understand Fluttershy being bashful about the topic, but if she'd mustered up the courage and brought up the topic herself something had to be up.

"Oh... it's, uhm... nothing." Fluttershy looked Rarity in the eye. It was enough of a signal to Rarity that she shouldn't push the matter further right now, but Fluttershy would revisit it when she felt more comfortable. Inside her head though, Rarity's mind was going crazy with questions: Was there somepony who Fluttershy had her eye on? Cute, innocent, timid little Fluttershy with a crush on somepony? What was this colt like? Or mare! Who was Rarity to judge? Either way, go Fluttershy!

The conversation ended at an opportune time, as the two arrived at the large, hollow tree that served as the town's library and home for the librarian, Twilight Sparkle. Rarity always had amusing thoughts about how Twilight would live at the library even if it wasn't her real residence. She knocked her hoof against the door a couple of times.

"Coming!" a male voice rang out from inside. It belonged to the number one library assistant Spike, the baby dragon. Since it was a library, they really were at liberty to simply walk in, but Rarity found that knocking was a faster way to find out who was home. If Spike or Twilight wasn't within earshot of the door, they were either out or busy. There was no need to wander into an empty library. Soon enough, the library door opened.

"Oh hey guys! What's up?" Spike greeted them with a smile.

"Hello Spike, I was wondering where I might find Twilight," Rarity explained. Spike heaved a sigh. Rarity knew where this was going. "Friendship troubles somewhere?" Rarity questioned.

"She said something about AJ and somepony named Big Lugnut." Spike shrugged, indicating he knew very little about the situation. This was news to Rarity and Fluttershy.

"Applejack and Big Lugnut don't get along?" Fluttershy wondered aloud. Spike shrugged again. Rarity smelled something fishy.

"Do you know exactly where Twilight is?" Rarity asked. Spike shrugged once more.

"If I had to guess," Spike grumbled as he rubbed his spines in thought. "She'd be wherever Applejack or this Big Lugnut guy can be found."

"Thank you very much Spike," Rarity smiled. Spike's knees went weak as he tried to hide behind his tail.

"Aww... it was nothin'!" he laughed, not doing a very good job of hiding how nervous he was. Rarity patted him on the head then parted ways with Spike, bringing Fluttershy along with her. Rarity sensed a juicy story somewhere, and she wanted in on it.

____________________

When the lunchtime lull in the marketplace rolled around, Big Macintosh arrived to take over for the rest of the day. Applejack invited Big Lugnut out for a bit of lunch, to which he declined with claims that he wasn't hungry. Applejack then told him she wasn't asking him to come, but telling him. As a result, Big Lugnut was now sitting in silence, watching Applejack attack some sort of salad. Lugnut was left alone with his own thoughts.

After Applejack had explained what bits were and how many apples are generally in a pound, he found himself working much more effectively. As his confidence rose, he managed to stop destroying apples. Once he got into the swing of things, selling apples wasn't that hard at all. It was almost as if they sold themselves. Lugnut was just a catalyst for the exchange of money and apples.

"Big Lug." Lugnut snapped out of his musings and looked up at Applejack, who sat behind an empty plate. She looked pretty serious. He figured it wasn't about selling apples, since she had already given him an earful about it earlier. It was a pleasant reminder of why Lugnut wanted to stay on her good side.

"I'm guessing you wanted to talk about something?" Applejack nodded in response. "What about?"

"Last night at the party, y'all told me ya didn't remember who you were, right?"

"Yes, that's correct."

"Ya also said ya didn't want nopony else to hear it. Why?"

"Well... it might sound kind of weird... but I don't think I want to remember who I was," Lugnut admitted.

"Why does that make ya wanta keep it a secret?"

"Think about it. If somepony you know lost all their memories, but made no effort to be who they used to be, wouldn't you hate them?" Big Lugnut brought up a good point. Applejack had to stop and think about that. Without the memory of being friends, it would be hard for somepony to return to being friends just on the faith that they were friends in what feels like a completely different life. Applejack couldn't stand the thought of losing a friend like that. On the other hand, Big Lugnut didn't have anypony who knew him before hand, so he couldn't really cause any damage.

Another thought hit her though: how does that attitude made Lugnut look? Forgetting everything near and dear to you, then not even caring what you left behind didn't come off so well. It sounded like a cold-hearted thing to do, to say all the memories and friendships amounted to nothing in the end. That raised a question in Applejacks head.

"Why don't you want to remember?" Big Lugnut's expressionless face was impossible to read, but this time he turned his head away and looked off into the distance. There was something very pensive about it in Applejack's mind. This was obviously a question Lugnut struggled with himself.

"I think... I think it's because I wasn't a good pony in my past life," Lugnut gave the only answer he head. Applejack's heart went out for him all at once. It struck her that Lugnut was a victim this whole time. Whether or not Flim and Flam built him, they used him as their slave. Everything he did he did against his will. Applejack thought she knew everything about Big Lugnut when they met on her doorstep. This morning she discovered she didn't know this new Lugnut, and now she realized how little she actually knew about the old one.

Applejack was silent for a while. Big Lugnut turned to look at her. Lugnut's heart and soul sank into a pit when he saw her face. He didn't know if it was what he said or something she was thinking, but she looked so sad Lugnut wanted to apologize right then and there. He didn't say a word though. He couldn't. He was all choked up because he couldn't stop staring at Applejack's big, green, sad eyes. He just waited for her to say something to break the spell. He thought, he needed her to say something to break this silence.

"Lugnut, I need tuh 'pologize fer all the times I was cross with you 'cause of the Flim Flam brothers and I need tuh 'pologize fer all the times I poked fun at you for being or just straight up called you a robot." Big Lugnut did not like how Applejack sounded right now. "An' I gotta 'pologize fer it... 'cause... Lugnut... I dunno how else to say this, but... yer not a pony like ery'pony else..."

"Who and what are you?"

"My name is Big Lugnut, and I am a pony like you."

"You don't look like a pony just like us..."

"Not everypony is exactly the same."

"I dunno if you wanna hear this Lugnut, but you've gotta look at the facts. What're the differences between you and other ponies?"

"Could you teach me how to spin my head around like that?"

"Did you hear that? He sounds like a robot!"

"He broke another table? This pony is freaky strong!"

"This is a pony who can take a hit."

"Ya, I guess robots don't need to sleep."

"I wouldn't know."

"Now is that so?"

"Big Lugnut." Lugnut felt Applejack winding up the final blow, "Ever since ya lost yer memory... have ya looked in a mirror?"

____________________

"Nope," Big Macintosh shook his head. Twilight heaved a sigh. She couldn't find Applejack or Big Lugnut anywhere. Her saddlebag was filled with her own essays on friendship and a couple of science fiction novels that portrayed robots in a good light.

"Thanks for your time, any idea where either of them are now?" Twilight asked.

"Lunch." Big Macintosh was doing a good job of maintaining his reputation of being a pony of few words. Twilight heaved another sigh. This wasn't going as well as she planned. Nothing ever seemed to go as well as she planned.

"Twilight!" At the sound of her name, she turned around and was greeted by two familiar faces.

"Rarity, Fluttershy!" Twilight was glad to find some more talkative ponies. "Have you seen Applejack or Big Lugnut?"

"Not recently." Rarity shook her head.

"Not recently, but you have seen them?" Twilight probed. Rarity went ahead and explained her conversation with Applejack earlier this morning. She explained how Applejack seemed to be in a pretty good mood. Twilight then took her turn, starting with Big Lugnut's arrival with Flim and Flam and stopping with an explanation of how she'd sort of used Rainbow Dash's state of well-being as a way to try and make Big Lugnut and Applejack to get along.

"Did it work?" Rarity asked. Twilight shrugged.

"I don't know, I have yet to see 'em," Twilight went on to explain. Rarity gave her an odd look.

"Did you ask Big Macintosh?" Twilight wondered how she'd overlooked that avenue. Then again, getting information out of Macintosh was like drawing blood from a stone. The three mares turned and looked at Big Macintosh, who returned their gaze with blinding indifference.

"They've gettin' along fine since breakfast," he admitted. Twilight beamed brightly. Her mission ended in friendship successful.

"Now I really want to find them! Princess Celestia will want to hear all about how the bitterest of enemies can become friends!" Twilight trotted off, leaving the other ponies to their own devices. Satisfied with the information she'd received, Rarity said her good-byes and headed back to her store, leaving just the small pegasus and the large earth pony by the apple stand.

"Apples?" Macintosh offered.

"Oh, uhm, I would lo- I mean... yes... please... if it's not too much trouble..."

___________________

A pair of incandescent eyes stared back into Big Lugnut's. He realized that his metal features were incapable of displaying his shock. To any outside observer, he must look like he's taking it very well. Truth be told, he wasn't.

He lifted his foreleg, suddenly more conscious of the whirring and grinding noises it made. The thing in the mirror copied the motion, mocking him. Big Lugnut had no choice but to accept what he saw in the mirror was him. It occurred to him he actually had no notions or preconceptions of how he should look. Against his will, his brain accepted what it saw. He wondered if he even had a brain. He didn't know what he was thinking with. He considred if he was even free to think on his own accord or if everything was pre-programmed. He pictured himself as the invention of some sick scientist who wanted to create a automaton capable of having an existential breakdown.

Good job doctor psychopath, your machine works.

"Lugnut," he didn't even turn his head to acknowledge Applejack's presence. First off, he couldn't bear to look her in the eye again after the look she gave him back in Ponyville. The whole walk back to Sweet Apple Acres had been silent. Wordlessly, she had brought him up into the attic and rolled out a full-body mirror. If Applejack looked at him like she did back then, his heart couldn't bear it.

If he had a heart...

Secondly, and he realized how foolish a thought it was, he didn't want her to see how troubled he was. She couldn't know. His eyes, his jaw, his entire face was fixed like a statue. He was statue with a somewhat dismal looking face etched onto it for eternity. All the facts made him realize just how much he'd been fooling himself up to this point. He had unrestricted strength, he never wore out, he didn't sleep, he didn't eat, he didn't feel hot, cold, or anything.

"Lugnut... ya'll need to tell me what yer thinkin'." Applejack's voice conveyed nothing but genuine concern. He wanted to asky why.

"I'm just a machine... who cares what I'm thinking..."

"That ain't the Big Lugnut from this mornin'."

"Yeah? Well... things are different now."

"No they ain't Lugnut. Yer still you, no matter what ya look like."

"It's more than just what I look like Applejack. It's what I am..."

"Lugnut, you don't know what ya are!" He heard Applejack stamp her hoof. Big Lugnut gazed into and then beyond his reflection in the mirror.

Applejack was right; he had no idea what he was. Being made of metal didn't instantly brand him as a robot. The possibility stood that there was something else inside him. He felt like there was. He might just be grasping at straws, but Big Lugnut didn't want to throw himself on a scrap heap yet.

"You're right... but how do we find out what I am?" Lugnut wondered. Short of talking a can-opener and slicing open his body, he didn't have any bright ideas. Applejack wondered the same thing. She didn't know what parts of him did and didn't make him a robot.

Right on cue, Applejack and Lugnut heard a knock on the door downstairs. Quickly using the excuse to escape the dismal attic, both Applejack and Lugnut descended into the main room of the house. Applejack opened up the door.

"Hey Applejack! Whoa... you okay?" It was Twilight. Big Lugnut didn't know why she'd asked the question, but only because he'd forgone looking at Applejack's face. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot, making Applejack look obviously distraught.

"Twilight! Boy, am I glad to see you!" Applejack confessed. "Twi, we need yer help. I mean, if that's alright with you Lugnut," she asked as she turned and locked eyes with him for the first time in a while. Big Lugnut's heart sank, and he didn't care if he didn't have one. It occurred to him why Applejack was taking this all so hard. With all the poking and prodding with the robot business beforehand, she must have been hoping that Lugnut would have his identity challenged. Now that it was unfolding before her though, she felt guilty and blamed herself. Lugnut was touched.

"Yes. I would love some help." Lugnut nodded. Applejack smiled a bit, putting his soul at ease. He wouldn't let anyone tell him he didn't have a soul after that.

____________________

Big Lugnut and Applejack had been hitting the books for well over two hours, but so far the only thing they'd discovered was that neither of them were really good at this book searching thing. Twilight was the only pony who had really broken any ground, but all her notions ended up being debunked. At this point, even the prospect of being a robot seemed impossible. Twilight had probed Lugnut with magic for more hints. The only thing she found out is that Lugnut's body houses something infused with magic, probably his power source so to speak. Robots ran on electricity. Twilight had never heard of a robot that could run on magic without a constant, steady supply.

She told Lugnut and Applejack to look through more recent articles and books about magical and electronic beings and devices. Twilight buried herself in ancient texts that described anything remotely like Big Lugnut. While she found there were many ancient unicorn civilizations that tried to build things like Lugnut, the books she read only described devices of perpetual obedience and unfortunately limited durability. She still had a mountain of books at her disposal, so the search was far from over.

Meanwhile, Lugnut and Applejack were having their dilemma.

"Do ya have a heating element and a timer?" Applejack lay with her chin on the floor, just staring at the open catalogue before her.

"No..." Big Lugnut was on his back staring at the ceiling.

"Well... I dun think yer a toaster," Applejack mumbled.

"Yay," Big Lugnut half groaned and half cheered. "That's the best news since we found out I wasn't a washing machine..."

"C'mon now Lugnut, don't feel down. We're gonna figure this out somehow," Applejack assured him, but didn't sound quite convinced herself. After all, reading was going nowhere and she couldn't think of anything that would speed them to a result.

"Hey... Applejack."

"What is it Big Lug?"

"If we find out I'm just a soulless hunk of metal... what'll you do?" Big Lugnut asked a question that had been eating at him for a while now. He was afraid of her response, but he was surprised when Applejack gave him an answer without hesitation.

"Lugnut, if we find out yer a tickin' time bomb, I'd be more than happy tuh see y'all off to somewheres ya kin explode in peace. Whatever ya are Lugnut, yer a good one. If ya don't mind, feel free tuh call Sweet Apple Acres yer home." That was all Lugnut needed to hear. He flipped over and got on his hooves, then offered his hoof to help Applejack up.

"Thanks." He pulled her back up and she smiled at him. He wished he could return it.

"Eureka!" Twilight came galloping down the stairs. "Are you two ready for this? I've got it for sure this time!" Twilight sounded infinitely more confident the previous few times. Applejack and Big Lugnut turned as she flashed a very modern looking publication in their faces.

"This is a weekly science magazine I've been subscribed to forever. I hadn't been reading it in recent weeks, so I decided to take a brief break from my studies and catch up."

"Take a break? Do you have no sense of urgency?" Applejack asked. Twilight ignored her and flipped through the magazine. She stopped and turned the open magazine so Applejack and Big Lugnut could see it. The page prominently displayed a picture of Big Lugnut, sitting in what looked like an archeological dig. Any doubt that it was him was dispelled by the headline accompanying the picture:

"A Marvel of the Ancient World, Big Lugnut!"

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