• Published 30th Oct 2014
  • 1,898 Views, 186 Comments

La Vie En Rose - Summer Dancer

Cheese Sandwich and Pinkie Pie are hired to throw an anniversary party in Paris for the Mayor and her husband. Unfortunately, a band of thieves also has their sights set on the party, with every intention of crashing it.

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The following morning, Pinkie and Cheese walked up the street on their way to Madame Bee’s mansion, stepping on every crack on the sidewalk. They imagined that they were tight ropers in a circus, and if they so much as landed on a smooth surface, hungry alligators would swallow them whole. The escort had offered to give them a ride, but they had insisted on walking. Neither one of them wanted to miss the sights of Paris.
The city was bustling with ponies, getting to work, shopping, dining, singing on the corner streets, or simply taking a stroll.

It wasn’t as busy as Manehattan, though. The air smelled of fresh rain. It appeared that it had rained somewhere around midnight last night. Even though Pinkie was a tad bit disappointed that she had missed it, she felt good today.

“I’m telling ya, Pinks,” Cheese said, landing on a crack. “That maid hates my guts!”

Pinkie clicked her tongue as she hopped expertly on the next crack. “Cheese, Cheese, Cheese. She doesn’t hate all of your guts. She probably hates some of your guts. That grape juice stain doesn’t come out so easily, you know!”

Cheese frowned. “Hey! It was an accident! And I don’t think that’s the only reason…” I saw her give me the stink eye when I came out of the bedroom with Pinkie… Okay, that sounded wrong.

“Look on the bright side if things,” Pinkie suggested. “Our rooms are probably ready by now.”

“And we’ll get to throw the party of the year,” Cheese admitted. He smiled at her warmly. “And this time, we won’t be at each other’s throats.”

Pinkie blushed and giggled sheepishly. “Heh, huh… yeah.” She looked up at him. “I shouldn’t have gotten so carried away. We should join forces more often!”

Cheese smirked. “Yes. Come to the dark side, Pinkie,” Cheese said in a deep voice. “I have cookies!”

“I have cake.”

“…Good point. Can I come over to your side?”

Pinkie giggled. “As long as you bring the cookies with you, then yes.”

Inside the mansion, the two were sitting across from Honey Bee and her husband Cosmo Rays, whose accent was so thick, they had a little trouble understanding him. He was a thin pony in a cardigan. He had thin brown hair, and green eyes. He had a bottle of ink and a quill for a cutie mark. “It iz a pleasure to meet you both,” He said with a smile. “I apologize for my English... it… needs some work.”

“Not at all, mister Rays! I think you speak English really well!” Pinkie complimented.

“If anything, it’s impressive!” Cheese agreed.

Cosmo smiled. “Ah, Merci, merci. Thank you very much.”

Honey took a sip of her coffee. “Mmm. So, what we were thinking of a classic party, yet modern. I have a number of models and producers flying in from all over. We are also inviting our friends and family of course, along with their children.”

Cheese and Pinkie looked at each other. “Kids?” Cheese inquired.

“Oui. Cosmo has twelve siblings, and I have two sisters.” She chuckled. “You can imagine the amount of fillies and colts will be attending.”

“How many?” Pinkie asked.

“Hmm, Trente-un. About 31.”

Pinkie pulled out her sketch pad from her mane and started taking notes, while Cheese nodded slowly. “Interesting to know.” He glanced at his partner, who was sketching with a pencil in her mouth. She glanced up at him briefly with a spark in her eye. He smiled. This was going to be good.

Madame Bee tapped her chin. “There was something else.” She turned to her spouse. “What am I forgetting?”

“Ze photographer,” He said.

“Oh, yes, the photographer, Photo Finish, she will be taking all the portraits and the pictures.”

Pinkie brightened. “My friends worked with her once!” she said.

“Oh! Even better. This will go more smoothly than we thought. Now, we are all about the culture, culture is every important to us. We want it to be bright and colorful, yet sophisticated and hip.”

“While staying true to Prance,” Cosmo added. “We are having it in ze garden behind ze mansion. Does zat sit well with you?”

“Of course.” Cheese assured him. “The more space, the better. Any musical preferences?”

The couple looked at each other. Honey gently rubbed her chin with her delicate hoof. “Well… not really. Any songs would be fine with us… but…” She leaned against her husband lovingly, and he wrapped his arms around him. “There is one song that we would like to hear.”
Cosmo smiled. “Eblouie par la nuit. It means dazzled by the night. It was ze first song zat we danced to when we were dating.”

Pinkie brought both her hooves together. “Awww!”

“Anything else?” Cheese asked.

“Well, we did hire you because we trust your judgment. We wanted to give you what we wanted basically, but we decided to leave the rest to the professionals.”

Pinkie and Cheese blushed. “Well,” Cheese said, standing up. “Now that we have an idea, I guess we should get started.” The others rose with him.

Cosmo handed them a number of bits. “This should cover ze cost.” He said.

Honey Bee waved someone over. “And we have hired a tour guide to show you around Paris,” she said.

A turquoise mare wearing a button shirt and a scarf walked in. She had a brown mane in a pony tail, and dark blue eyes. She smiled lightly. “Hello. I’m Misty, and I’ll be your guide today!”

Outside, Misty directed the two ponies around Paris. “So, I’m certain you’ll want to visit all of the shops and malls with all the supplies you need. And couture plaza is definitely the place to go.”

Cheese smiled. “Thanks, Misty.”

“This is gonna be so much fun!” Pinkie cheered, bouncing up in the air.

Misty chuckled. “Yes…” She gave Cheese a sultry gaze when he was not looking. “This’ll be a lot of fun.”

Pinkie immediately stopped bouncing. D….Did she see what she thought she just saw? Was she actually trying to flirt with him? Pinkie suddenly felt heat rising within her. She decided that she didn’t like this mare. Not one bit.

In one of the supply stores, The two party planners went over the fabrics and curtains that would suit the liking of the married couple. Once and a while, Pinkie would steal a glance at their tour guide. She would simply smile and wave. I’ll have to keep an eye out for this one, Pinkie thought. She’s sneaky, no doubt about it.

“What do you think, Pinkie?”

The pink pony blinked. “Huh? Oh, yes, the silver one. Definitely the silver.”

As the day progressed, Misty had been getting closer and closer to Cheese. Pinkie made sure that she was by his side at all times. She had grown more frustrated with her, barely speaking to the guide at all. She didn’t know why she felt angry when Misty cozied up to Cheese, but she knew for a fact that it despised it. A lot.

They had made their way to the streamer store, and this time, she was more focused. Streamers made her happy. She knew streamers. She understood streamers. She looked at all the vibrant colors.

Red, orange, yellow, green, blue.... turquoise.

Her head jerked to the right. Cheese was staring at an assortment of streamers, when Misty walked by him, and she playfully flicked her tail under his chin. His eyebrows shot up in surprise.

Pinkie saw red. WHY I OUTTA… She briefly calmed herself down, and put on a big grin. She trotted over to her partner. “Cheesie,” She said sweetly. She shoved a bunch of streamers into his arms. “I think these are way too long, could you cut them for me?”

Cheese shook off his surprise from earlier and smiled. “Of course. Be back in a jiff!”

“Thank You!” Pinkie sang, waving to him as he walked off. As soon as he was out of view, she stomped over to Misty. “And just what do you think you’re doing?” She growled, getting in her face.

Misty raised her eyebrows, and glared down at her disapprovingly. “Uh, personal space!” She said, using her hoof to push her a few inches back.

Pinkie snarled, and waved her hoof in the air. “What was that? Just now!”

Misty grinned innocently. “Oh, that? Why, I was simply making conversation.”

“You call that conversation?!”

“Yes. As a matter of fact, I do.” She smirked down at her. “Not that a little piggy like you could understand that.”

Pinkie’s mouth fell open, and shoved her nose against Misty’s. “What did you just call me?”

Misty didn’t even flinch. “You heard me. Why do you care so much, anyway?”

Pinkie opened her mouth and closed it. She looked downward, and then fiercely met the other pony’s gaze. “It-It doesn’t matter! You just watch yourself, sister! If you so much as swing your tail in his direction, I will end you.”

Misty scoffed. “Yeah, right. As if! What’re gonna do?” She stepped back, and poked Pinkie in the chest. “Punch line me to death? Besides, what makes you think that he’ll ever want you? What he needs is a real mare. Not a little girl.” Pinkie’s face turned red of pure anger.

Before she could so much as react, Cheese appeared beside her, holding out a bunch of perfectly layered streamers. “Here ya go, Pinks!” He announced.

Whatever Pinkie was planning to do, she forced herself to put it to a halt. She gave him a sweet look. “Thanks, Cheese.” Then she threw the tour guide a dirty look. “You know, Misty, I think we can take it from here.” She started pushing Cheese out the door. “Thanks for showing us around, but we can find our own way around now.” Misty merely scowled, and rolled her eyes.
“Let’s go, Cheese!”

Cheese was digging his hooves in the floor. “But Pinkie!”

“No buts!”

“But Pinkie!” Cheese insisted. “We haven’t paid yet!” Pinkie stopped abruptly, and went over to the counter, causing Cheese to fall backward on the floor.

She opened her bag, and spilled a bunch of bits on the counter. “Here!!!” She stomped over to Cheese, and grabbed his tail between her teeth.

“Woah!” Cheese exclaimed.

Pinkie yanked him out the door. Pinkie opened her mouth to release him, and grabbed the door. “AND KEEP THE CHANGE!!!” With that, she slammed the door behind them, leaving the pony behind the register more frightened and confused than ever.

A little after noon, both party ponies had finished their shopping. Pinkie had pulled out her camera and started taking pictures to send to the cakes. She had gotten great shots of Cheese poising in front of the Prance flag.

They had paused in front of a fountain. Cheese immediately got up on the ledge, and leaned across it. “Draw me like one of your Prench fillies,” He said in a low sultry voice. Pinkie laughed, and snapped a few shots. After she was finished, he jumped off and stood beside her. “I’m really glad that we get to spend some time together like this, Pinkie.” He smiled.

Pinkie nodded and looked deep into his eyes. “Yeah… me too.”

They suddenly felt something grab both of their heads.


They practically leapt out of their skins. “AAHHHH!” Discord rolled over with laughter while other ponies around them quickly and quietly moved away, hoping not to attract his attention.

Pinkie sighed heavily, and frowned. “Discord!

Cheese looked at her in surprise. “Wait, you know this guy?”

Discord slithered down to their level, and put an arm around Pinkie. “Oh, but of course she does. We’re practically besties now.” He snapped his claws, and made a t-shirt appear on Pinkie, saying My BFF with an arrow below it, pointing in Discord’s direction. Discord also had on a t-shirt, saying I’m with stupid with an arrow pointing in her direction.

“Hey!” She complained. The master of chaos sighed, and quickly made the t-shirts vanish. The pink pony gestured a hoof to the reformed villain. “Cheese, this is my friend Discord. Discord, this is my friend Cheese Sandwich.”

Cheese’s eyes widened. “Discord… you mean…”

“Indeed, my boy,” Discord nodded. He made a sweeping gesture as he took a bow. “The spirit of chaos, in the flesh.” He glanced up. “And recently reformed.” He straightened back up. “And I didn’t know you had it in you, Pinkie Pie, eloping to Paris with a stallion. I would expect these kind of shenanigans from Rarity.”

Both Pinkie and Cheese blushed bright red. “We’re not eloping!” Pinkie shrieked. “This is strictly business!”

“That’s right!” Cheese defended, equally embarrassed. “We were hired by the mayor to host their anniversary party! Why do think we’re carrying all this stuff?”

Discord looked at the stuffed saddlebags the two blushing ponies were carrying and shrugged. “If you say so.”

Pinkie touched her face, which felt unnaturally warm. Gah! I gotta wash myself off… Pinkie shifted on one hoof. “Be right back, fillies room!” Before anyone could respond, she dashed off to a nearby store that had a restroom.

Cheese glanced back up at Discord. “So what are you doing in Paris?” He questioned.

“I’m merely returning this parakeet to one of Fluttershy’s clients,” Discord explained, holding out a small cage with a small bird inside. His leg appeared to be bandaged. “Since she was going to visit her parents, I offered to take him myself… it was the least I could do…” His expression was sullen for a moment, but the look was gone within seconds as he eyed Cheese suspiciously. “But I could ask the same thing of you, lover boy,” He said slyly. “Do you really expect me to believe that you and Miss Pie aren’t snuggling up to each other in the most romantic country in the world?

Cheese scowled. “Yes!... I-I mean no… I mean… there is no snuggling! Snuggling does not ensue!” He pointed a hoof at Discord. “And my name’s not lover boy!

Discord smirked. “Whatever you say, Romeo. Here comes your Juliet.”

Cheese looked behind him, and saw Pinkie Pie trotting over to them. Her face was now its normal shade of pink. “We’d better get going, Cheese,” She said. “We still have to lay everything out in our room.” Cheese’s pupils shrunk in horror as soon as the words left Pinkie’s mouth. The bearer of laughter looked at Cheese’s expression with curiosity. “What?” Pinkie thought over what she just said.





She looked over at Discord with horror in her eyes. He had the biggest grin she had ever seen on his face in a long time. His paw flew to his mouth as he tried to hold back his snickering. “Ahem… well, you got yourself a room, how nice.” Cheese moaned in discomfort. Pinkie lowered her head, and scowled.

She started skulking towards the direction of the mansion. “Let’s just go,” She said in between her teeth. Cheese trailed behind her.

Discord wiped a tear from his eye. “Oh, wait, wait, wait, I truly am sorry about my behavior,” He said neither jokingly nor sincerely. He held out a disk, and put it in Pinkie’s hoof.

“What is it?” She asked, eyeing it curiously.

Discord smiled. “It’s a video game,” He explained. “You get to pretend to work at a pizza joint.”

Cheese smiled a little. “Well… that doesn’t sound so bad. Thanks!”

“Anytime, my little ponies. Now, I must be going. I’ve got cat chow to return. Oh, and when we meet again, do tell me what you think of the game,” He said, the corners of his mouth twitching ever so slightly. And with the snap of his claws, he was gone.

Pinkie and Cheese looked at each other, and started heading back. “Well, that was nice of him,” Pinkie commented.

Cheese nodded. “Yeah, it was. What’s that game called?”

Pinkie looked at the disc. “Five Nights At Freddy’s.”

Cheese let out a panicked moan. “I’m scared, Pinkie.”

The mare beside him nodded. “I know,” She whimpered. “Me too!”

Cheese stared intently at the screen, and jumped. “W-Wait… Is… is that bunny alive?!”

“Gaahaha! The chicken, the chicken!”

“Avert your eyes, Boneless 2!”

“Careful, Cheese, the power’s at 17%!”

“What happens if I run out of power?!”

“I don’t know!”

They suddenly saw a mechanical fox running down the hall on the security camera. Cheese’s heart leapt out of his chest. Pinkie broke out into cold sweat.


With a high pitched squeal, Cheese clicked on the button, and the door shut. The fox pounded on the door, and left. The two ponies sighed in relief. Cheese sunk back against his beanbag chair. “I don’t think I like this game.”

Pinkie froze. “Cheese…”

The stallion looked at her, and then at the computer screen. He gasped. The power percentage was at 3%. The two embraced each other as they watched helplessly as the number went down from 3 to 2 to 1 to 0. Everything shut off. The security room went dark. Cheese and Pinkie watched in silent terror as creepy child-like music started playing. “Oh, Cheese…”

The music stopped.


Without warning, a large mechanical bear popped up on the screen, and screamed in their faces. The two ponies leapt in the air.


They landed on their bean bags. Breathing heavily, they looked at each other.

They burst out laughing, kicking out their hind legs in hilarity. “That was great!” Pinkie giggled.

Cheese rolled over and sat up. “Yeah! Sometimes it’s fun to be scared!”

Pinkie flipped over on her stomach. “Exactly! Gets the heart pumping, ya know?”

Cheese stood up. “Indubitably.” He extended his hoof, and helped Pinkie to her hooves. “We better get back to work. We’re about two days ahead!”

Pinkie nodded, and looked around the room. “I still can’t believe they did all this for us!” The room that the mayor had prepared for them was like a college dorm room, only more upgraded. The walls were colorful, different colored balls hung from the ceiling. The carpets were red and vibrant. There were bean bags and large tables, where Pinkie and Cheese were sketching out ideas.

There were two large separate beds, one with pink blankets and pillows, and one with yellow and orange blankets and pillows with different kinds of cheese printed on them. The room also had three large windows that gave them an impressive view of all of Paris. There was also an inside bathroom, as well as a computer.
They had spent nearly all afternoon planning everything, taking note of every single detail. They had taken a short break playing the video game.

Cheese nodded. “Yep. They sure went all out for us. Have you finished your letter to the cakes yet?”

Pinkie nodded. “Yeppers! I even put all the pictures in. But… I think it could use just one more picture.” She walked over to one of the windows, and gazed out at the city. The sun had started going down. The Eiffel tower was closer to them this time. “I can see the hotel from here!” She exclaimed.

Cheese came up beside her. “Really?”

She nodded, and pointed across from them. “Right there. You see it?”

Cheese squinted his eyes, and saw the hotel building where they had spent the night before. “Well, I’ll be.”

“Ah, look over here!” The dynamic duo turned to see Madame Bee holding Pinkie’s camera in her hooves. Cheese wrapped his arm around Pinkie, and both gave genuine smiles as Madame Bee took the photo. “Oh, you two are so photogenic.” She sighed. She pulled the picture out from the camera, and shook it. “How is everything going, my darlings?”

“Things are going good, Madame Bee,” Pinkie said confidently. “As of now, we are two days ahead of schedule.”

The mayor grinned. “Ooh, wonderful! I knew we hired the right ponies. And it’s a good thing too. Everypony will be flying in tomorrow. Do you think you are able to set everything up by tomorrow night?”

“We don’t think so,” Cheese said.

“We know so!” Pinkie cheered.

Honey Bee smiled. “Excellent. She stepped out of the room. “Let me or the staff know if you need refreshments or anything.” She closed the door behind her. “Such good kids.”

They had spent the next day setting up lights, stages, dance floors, and tables. Cheese had hired a well known chef, and he and his crew shortly arrived at four. The air soon filled with sweet aromas from the kitchen. Pinkie looked over the appetizers, the first second, ant third courses, and especially the desserts.
She stopped in front of the chocolate, dark chocolate and white chocolate fountains. She glanced at the baker standing beside the fountains, waiting for her approval. “I’m gonna have to sample all of these, sonny.” She said bluntly.

As time went on, guests started arriving at the mansion. Ponies were gathering together, hugging and kissing. Fillies and colts laughed as they chased each other around the front yard. “Let’s check that sound, Sonnet,” Cheese suggested. Sonnet pressed a few buttons, and a French pop song started playing loud and clear. “Nice tunes!” Cheese approved.

“Thanks C-dawg.” Sonnet replied.

Pinkie raced across the lawn over to her partner. “Cheese! She’s on the way!”

Cheese’s eyes widened. “You mean we got her? She’s coming?”

She shrieked in delight. “Yes!”

“Alright!” He checked his watch. “Three hours till Showtime. We’re gonna make it, Pinks.”

In just three hours, guests poured into the garden, liking what they saw. There was a wide dance floor with red, white, and blue spotlights. There was also a Prance inspired fashion show that was about to take place. Models were already good to go. The cat walk was 50 feet long, with the flag of Prance in the background. Strings of lights lined the trees. There were all sorts of mini tables of refreshments, such as sandwiches, cheddar, fruit, and crepes.
Prench pop music filled the air. There was a big shimmering banner that read

Happy 20th Anniversary Honey and Cosmo!!!

The crowd voiced their improvement, and started spreading out to different stations. Madame Bee and Cosmo came up beside them, gazing at the wonderful sight all around them. “Ooh, c’est magnifique!” Cosmo breathed.

“It is even better than what we have imagined!” Honey Bee gasped. She hugged Pinkie and Cheese. “Merci, thank you so much!”

“You’re welcome!” Pinkie chirped. “Now go mingle!” The couple smiled at them and went over to chat with their relatives.

Esme, Red Herring, and their crew stood at the top of a hill, just a few hundred feet above the mansion. Bright lights illuminated the place, and they could hear the music and laughter from where they stood.

Esme turned her back to the mansion and faced the others. Everyone was wearing black. They had knives, swords, and brown sacks in their grasps. A number of carts and cages were set up a few feet behind them. Esme nodded in approval. “Alright. You know the drill. Masks on!”
Everyone pulled their ski masks over their heads, with only their eyes and mouths showing.

Esme pulled on hers, her hazel eyes flickering in the night. “Take everything you can carry. If somepony gets too attached, or won’t comply, ruff them up a bit. If they get difficult, cut em up, but no killing. Don’t worry about the noise; the music’s loud enough to cover us. As soon as we get there, we have a 30 minute time window, so whatever you want, get it, and get it quick. And above all else, nopony is to see you without your mask on or its lights out for all of us. Understood?”

The ponies nodded.

“Questions, comments, complaints? Good.” She turned back to the mansion far down below them. “Then let’s go.”

A few five minutes, Cheese got up on the stage and grabbed a microphone. “Attention, attention, fillies and gentlecolts, come hither!” All the ponies gathered to the dance floor below the stage.

Pinkie pulled Madame Bee and Cosmo over where the crowd was gathering. “Come on, come on, come on! We got a big surprise for you!”

As soon as everyone was present, Cheese spoke again. “Thank you, thank you. Now In honor of Madame Bee and Monsieur Rays’ special 20th anniversary, we have asked a very special pony to come here tonight. So without any further a due, here’s Zaz!”

The crowd cheered wildly as a Pale peach mare emerged from the curtains. Her brown hair was in a side pony tail, and she was dressed in a black tank top and pants. Her earrings dangled as she walked onto the stage. Both Cosmo and Honey gasped. “I… it’s her!” She shook her husband’s shoulder, and jumped up and down. “It’s Zaz! Look, Honey!”

“I see!”

The tiny jewel below Zaz’s left eye glinted as she smiled at the audience, and then at Cheese. “Merci.” She took the microphone as Cheese jumped off the stage. Zaz beamed at the married couple. “This is dedicated to Honey Bee and Cosmo Rays. This song holds precious memories in their hearts and their special, long lasting relationship.” Eblouie par la nuit started playing. Honey nearly fainted.

Cosmo looked at Pinkie and Cheese in wonder. “H… How?”

The two ponies grinned. “Well, I knew a guy…” Cheese started.

“And I knew the guy’s cousin…” Pinkie added. “And he was a special music producer pony, and his name was Mary, and I asked him why that was… Turns out that his father was named Mary…”

“And his father before him was named Mary…”

“And his father before him was named Craig. But anyways…”

They leaned against each other. “We pulled a few strings!” They said together.

Honey brought a hoof to her mouth, and tears of happiness filled her eyes. “This is the most thoughtful thing that anypony has ever done for us!”

“Thank you so much.” Cosmo smiled.

Zaz started singing, and the crowd started cheering for the couple to dance. Cosmo took Honey’s hoof, and led her onto the dance floor. Pinkie’s heart swelled as they started to dance slowly, with Honey’s head resting on Cosmo’s shoulder. Cosmo appeared to be whispering something in her ear. Photo Finish pushed aside all the newspaper photographers and journalists. "Move! Do not mess wit my shot! I am capturing true love!"

The pink pony sighed happily. “I’d say that phase one is complete.”

Cheese nodded. “Affirmative. Now onto phase two!”

Together, they raced over to the chocolate fountains where all the little fillies and colts were filling up their stomachs… all thirty-one of them. Pinkie held up a megaphone. “ATTENTION ALL FILLIES AND COLTS!!!” The little kids turned around in surprise.

Now that they had their attention, Cheese held up his own megaphone. “THERE WILL BE A SPECIAL MUSICAL EXTRAVAGANZA JUST FOR YOU KIDS A FEW YARDS DOWN! COME OOOON OVER!!!”

Children squealed in delight as they followed Pinkie and Cheese across at least eleven yards from the adults party. Little did they know that Esme and Red had just taken down the security guards.

The young ponies gasped in awe as they reached their destination. There was a huge circus tent with a bright colorful stage inside. There where popcorn and candy machines, as well as a snack table with chips and punch nearby. There was a large rug in front of the stage, as well as dozens and dozens of beanbags.

Kids cheered happily as they grabbed whatever they could. “Help yourselves! The show’s about to start!” Pinkie announced. Pinkie hopped onto the stage, and tested the microphones.

Cheese soon joined her. “Ready?” He asked.

Pinkie gave a firm nod. “I was born ready.” She smirked.

“I was ready before I was born.”

She snickered and swatted his hair playfully. Cheese spoke into his microphone. “Alright, everypony, settle in, settle in, right on those beanbags, there ya go!”

As soon as everyone was seated, Pinkie smiled and spoke. “Ya know, Cheese, I’m happy for the adults and all… but what about the kids party?”

“Hmm… it could use a little umph, you know? Something to get this party going. Something that gets the adrenaline flowing! What’s the word for it…?”

Pinkie grinned. “I know! It’s…” She started singing.


Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious!

If you say it loud enough you’ll always sound precocious!

Cheese joined in.


Um diddle-diddle-diddle Um diddle ay!

Um diddle- diddle-diddle Um diddle ay!

Because I was afraid to speak when I was just a lad

My father gave my nose a thwack and told me I was bad!

But then one day I learned a word that saved my aching nose!

The biggest word I ever heard and this is how it goes!

“In the bag! Watches, jewelry, money, right now!” a stallion shouted. The trembling guests took off their possessions, and did exactly what he said. Ponies everywhere were screaming with fear as the sinister sixty moved in, immediately smashing props, and yanking necklaces from ponies’ necks.

“Give me the bracelet,” A mare in black growled. The pony below her gave the thief a fierce glare. “No way! It was my mother in law’s!” She yelled in her Manehatttan accent.

Her husband gripped her shoulder. “Just give it to her, Gladys. Mother will understand!”

I will do no such thing!” Without warning, the thief bucked her in the head, sending her to the ground in a heap, blood slowly dripping from her temple.


He traveled all Equestria and everywhere he went

He’d use his word and all would say “There goes a clever gent!”

When dukes and princes take me out to brunch

I say my special word and then they ask me out to lunch!

Red Herring repeatedly punched the living daylights out of a photographer, and crushed his camera with his hooves. He finally stopped, and stood up over the groaning young stallion. “I told you… no flash photography.”

Madame Bee shrieked as a stallion grabbed her by the mane. “Hold still, that headband’s made out of gold,” He snickered, yanking it out of her mane. Cosmo immediately tackled him to the ground. “Cosmo!” Honey wailed. Cosmo was promptly defeated by two blows to the stomach. Honey dropped down beside her husband, and hugged him closely. “Oh, my darling…”

One of the thieves named Steel nudged the pony who took out Cosmo and pointed to the kids tent in the distance. “Sal, dude, look. There’s another one.”

Honey’s eyes widened in horror. “No! No, you can’t!” She turned to the other nearby guests. “That’s where the children are!” Parent’s ears perked up in panic. All of the moms and dads tried to get up and force their way to the tent, but the thieves either knocked them to the ground or forced them back down.

“QUIET!” Sal shouted. “Nopony move! Now if all of you stay nice and quiet, maybe I’ll make sure that no filly or colt suffers any bodily harm. Huh?” He pointed at five other masked ponies. “You keep an eye on them.” He turned to Steel, Poison Ivy, who stole the bracelet, and six others. “The rest of you are with me. Let’s make this nice and quick.”

They started galloping towards the kids tent, ignoring the parent’s pleas.

“No, not my baby!”

“She’s only six!”

“Laissez-les tranquilles!”

Honey looked on with silent terror. Oh, les aider ...

So when the cat has got your tongue there’s no need for dismay!

Just summon up this word and then you’ve got a lot to say!

But better use it carefully or it could change your life!

“For example,” Cheese said. “I said it to my girl, and now she’s my wife!”


“Just kidding!”





Fillies and colts cheered wildly as Pinkie and Cheese took a bow. Suddenly, Pinkie felt her knee pinching. She frowned. If it’s one thing she’d learned, it’s to never ignore her Pinkie sense. She pulled her partner away from the microphones. “Cheese,” She whispered urgently. “My knee’s all pinching.”

Cheese’s eyebrows shot up. “Your pinkie sense?”

“Yes.” She glanced around the tent nervously. “It usually means that something scary’s gonna happen!”

Cheese frowned. “Well, whatever it is, we need to keep it from happening to the kids!”

Pinkie nodded and went to the front of the tent. She gasped. “Cheese!” Cheese was immediately appeared by her side, and looked out. His jaw dropped. Multiple ponies in black-He didn’t even know how many-were galloping in their direction.

He looked father down and saw more ponies running around and stealing from the guests. “Quick! Button the curtains!”

Pinkie turned her head. “What’s that gonna do?”

“I don’t know. But hopefully it’ll buy us time. We need to get these kids out of here!” Pinkie nodded and quickly buttoned up the curtains while Cheese rounded up the young ones to the very back of the tent.

“What’s going on?” Asked a young colt.

Before Cheese could open his mouth to respond, A number of weapons began banging against the tent. Someone was trying to rip open the tent entrance. Most of the little fillies and colts started screaming and crying in fear.

Pinkie and Cheese tried their very best to hold the tent together. Cheese panted as a knife sliced through the tent by his head. “Pinkie! You happen to have any weapons? All we’ve got is cotton candy and a rubber chicken!”

Pinkie grinned. “Oh! I have an idea!” She ran over to the distressed children. “Does anypony know where the police station is?”

“I do!” Said the colt who spoke earlier. “It’s about three miles from here.”

Pinkie smiled. “Good! When I give you the signal, I want you all to follow…”


“Raoul to the police station. Okay?”

A little filly in pigtails rubbed her eyes. “I’m scared,” She whimpered.

Pinkie smiled sweetly, and stroked her mane. “It’ll be okay. It’s just like playing tag. Just pretend that Raoul’s it.” The filly nodded. Raoul gave her a firm nod.

Cheese jumped beside her in front of the kids. “So what’s the plan, Pinks?”

“Wait for it…”

The tent was being ripped apart. The thieves were now visible.

“Wait for iiiiiit….”

The tent came completely apart.

I regret nothing. NOTHING!!!” She pulled out her party cannon and yanked the string.


The thieves cried out in surprise and anger, temporarily blinded by a cloud of confetti. Cheese grinned. “Ohhh!” He turned to the kids. “Go, now, go go go!”

“Allons-y, follow me, let’s go!” Raoul shouted. All of the other kids followed him across the garden, and helped each other hop the fence that marked the very end of the garden.

“That was epic, Pinkie!” Cheese cried.

Pinkie grinned. “I never leave home without my party cannon!”

Sal roared in anger, and charged towards the fillies and colts. Cheese jumped on his back. He only managed to hang on to him, and not tackle him to the ground like he’d hoped. Sal spun around and tried to buck him off.

Poison Ivy moaned, and started to go after the children herself. Pinkie pounced on her and brought her to the ground. “Oh… no… you… don’t!”

“Run, Pinkie!” Cheese shouted.

“No way, I’m not leaving you!” Pinkie shouted back, as she was struggling with the other pony. Other members of the squad started to advance on them. One punched Cheese in the gut, and another decked Pinkie in the face.
“Och! Hey!That wasn’t very—oh!”

She pulled on Poison Ivy’s mask, and yanked it off.

Steel also lost his mask during his struggle with Cheese. He cursed loudly. “Uggh!

Ivy grew panicked. “What do we do? They’ve seen us, what do we do?

Sal growled, and pulled out a knife. “Then we’ll just have to kill them.” Pinkie and Cheese gasped.

“No!” Lilly shouted, and ran up to them. “No. You heard what Esme said. We can’t kill them.”

Sal glared at her. “Oh, yeah? Well, what do you suppose we do?”

Lilly swallowed. “We take them with us.”

“Are you crazy?” Ivy growled.

“It’s the only thing we can do. We're thieves, not murderers.”

Sal paused. “The runt’s right,” He announced. “We can’t risk this kind of blood-shed. Besides…” He looked down at the two bruised pony with a sinister toothy grin. “They might be of use to us.” He looked back up. “Get em outta here.”

Pinkie’s eyes widened in panic as a circle of ponies closed in on her, obscuring her view of Cheese. She heard him struggle against his assailants.

“Pinkie!” She heard him shout, followed by a cry of pain.

“Cheese!” She shrieked. She felt ponies pinning her down. She struggled to no avail. “Let go! Let us go!”

Poison Ivy gripped the forelock of her mane and yanked it, forcing Pinkie to look into her eyes. “Listen here, you little brat. You be a good girl and come with us and we won’t hurt your friend here.”

Pinkie’s eyes welled up in pain and fear. “No!” She cried. “Please don’t hurt him!”

“Then keep your trap shut!” Ivy let go of Pinkie’s mane and pulled a dark hood over her head. The pink mare whimpered softly as she felt herself being yanked to her hoofs, and was thrown across somepony’s back.

As the small group made their way back to the hill with their captives, Pinkie strained to hear Cheese's voice, but heard nothing. Her heart beat faster and faster. What did they do to him? Was he alright??

Say something Cheesie, she pleaded in her mind. Please.

She could hear the distant screams from the guests. Oh, if only my friends were here, she thought mournfully. The cold breeze felt bitter against her skin. She heard more voices as they drew closer. She didn’t want to try to figure out what they were saying. She was too scared and distressed for Cheese and herself.

She suddenly felt herself being dropped on the ground, and the hood was being yanked off of her head. Numerous black figures stood over her. She let out a gasp despite herself. She turned her head and saw Cheese laying on the ground next to her. He looked a bit dazed as he rubbed his head. “Oooh… what happened?” His forehead had a small bruise on it.

Pinkie hiccuped and threw her arms around him. “Cheesie!” She cried. “You're okay!”

A gruff voice spoke up. “Put them in the cage. We have less then ten minutes.” Pinkie growled. “Now you listen here, Mr. Masked pony. We have rights, ya know!”

Cheese bared his teeth. “Yeah! You best let us go right now!”

The pony looked down at them, unfazed. “Sedate them.”

Pinkie felt something sharp poke her side. “Owie! Hey!”

Cheese was poked in the rump. “YEEOW!”

The masked ponies grabbed them, and dragged them to a cart that had a cage that was covered by a large thick black sheet. The ponies opened the cage, and forced them inside. As soon as the cage was locked, they threw the black sheet over the whole cage, leaving the two ponies in the dark.

Pinkie began to feel sluggish, and started to sway. “Ohh…” Cheese was already lying down on his stomach. Pinkie fell down beside him.

Cheese gazed at her through bleary eyes. “...Pinks… I’m… s...sorry…”

Pinkie relaxed her head against the cage floor and tried to smile. “Issnot your fault Cheese… its… okay.” She sighed, her voice barely audible.

The sounds of outside slowly started to fade away.

Her eyes started to close. “It’s alright…”

The world faded to black.

Author's Note:

I'm terribly sorry.

So, Zaz is not just an OC, she's actually a real singer, and Eblouie par la nuit is her real song which is this one:

And also here's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious to hopefully help lighten the mood :twilightblush:

And once again... I truly am sorry. :twilightblush:

Also, you've probably noticed that I put up the dark tag, because things are going to get really dark, really fast.

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