“So, you’ve gotten pretty attached to her,” Belle said casually as they walked through the city behind Roxanne, Applejack’s limp, covered form across Ohm’s back.
The Luxray’s glance over at the Absol, a small frown forming on his muzzle. “What do you mean?” he asked simply.
“I mean, it seems as if you’ve grown ‘interested’ in her Ohm,” Belle said, giving the Luxray’s side a little nuzzle. “And I think it’s rather adorable.”
Ohm blinked blankly. “No I have not,” he replied in his natural everyday tone.
“You sure?” Belle inquired, glancing up at him with just the slyest of smirks. “It’s okay Ohm, you can tell me.”
“I know my mind, Belle. I have not grown an ‘interested’ in the mare; I am merely fulfilling my duty to Matt in protecting her since she is under his care,” he replied.
“Ah, okay then, just curious is all,” Belle said, obviously trying to keep her voice from dripping into dread. “That, and it gives me something that doesn’t involve the evil Pokemon trying to kill my mate to talk about.”
The Luxray nodded his head. “I understand. If it helps, know that whatever Pokemon is responsible, I will fight to my last breath to stop him from harming anyone. You, Cres, Roxanne, or any other of Matt’s family.”
Belle smiled. “Thank you Ohm, that means quite a lot to me.” A sigh left her lips. “Why is it that no matter where we go, Cres has to get himself into trouble...”
“I do not know, but he has us to help him get out of it,” Ohm replied. “And that’s all that matters, Belle. Trouble has a way of entering everyone’s lives, facing it alone is tough, but having the support of the ones you trust make it possible to overcome.” He glanced down at her with a small smile. “We need your brain and smarts to figure out how to stop these nightmares, I’m sure you can find such a way.”
“I’d better be able to or else those years of college class sit ins were wasted,” Belle said, though she smiled back at him and nuzzled his thick fur.
“That would be a true shame, wouldn’t it?” he stated out as he glanced back forward to keep an eye focus on weaving through the busy sidewalk.
“Yes, I’d complain and ask for my ‘money’ back,” Belle said, chuckling. “Though, I didn’t pay in the first place...” Nevertheless, the Luxray chuckled as the two continued to follow Roxanne, her lab coming up around the block.
The building was tall, three stories of brick and concrete. It was a bit of an eyesore to be honest, the dull red and grey not really standing well with the bright colored buildings surrounding it, but it worked well at keeping the results of the ‘experiments’ from leaving the lab. The woman walked up to the sliding glass door and swiped a card in a slider, causing it to open automatically and leading into an air conditioned lobby.
The lobby was well lit and Roxanne’s assistant Jerry sat behind the main desk looking over a monitor screen. The young man glanced up with his blue eyes and seem a bit surprised to see her there, moving his long silver grey hair to the side of his face rather than have it obscure his eyes. “Professer! Umm, didn’t expect you to be here,” he said, getting up from his seat and offering his hand to shake.
Roxanne just chuckled. “Jerry, you don’t have to shake my hand every time I come in here, we’ve been over this,” she told him as she walked over to the monitor and took a look. “Oh yes, that looks scientific alright.”
A small blush colored his cheek as he lower his hand and close the Pokemon-Amie window before causally raising his hand under his chin. “Sooooo... what brings you here Professor?” He asked, glancing over and noticing Ohm and Belle following right behind the woman.
“Well, we’ve got a serial killer after us using dreams as a means of assassination,” Roxanne answered. “Meaning we’re trying to use the power of Science to see us through alive. Want to help?”
Jerry blinked in surprise and ran a hand down his lab coated side. “Well... you don’t pay me for sitting around doing nothing, right? Hehe... I just want to make sure this is not some joke... right?”
“I truly wish it was,” she said, her voice completely serious. “Unfortunately, it’s not.”
“.....well then... where do we start?” he asked, though he couldn’t help but gulp a bit at the notion of what he was up against.
“The obvious place,” she answered. “The lab.”
“I meant more on how we are going to tackle this... nightmare prevention thing,” Jerry clarified.
“Well, my hope is that Xemnas can help,” Roxanne replied with a frown. “The article I read said that Psychic Pokemon had the best chance of fighting off this thing and he’s one of the best around.” She cast a glance back at the still covered form of Applejack, apparently asleep across Ohm’s back. “Think you can keep an eye on things for me up front while I get us ready down in the lab?”
The man nodded his head. “Sure... I guess the lab is closed at the moment?”
“Yes, now is not the time for tours or starter giveaways,” Roxanne said with a firm nod of her head before frowning for a moment. “Oh, and give my husband a call please, tell him where I am and that when he gets a moment he should bring Cres down here.”
Jerry nodded his head once more. “Right away Professor.” He then glanced at the covered form on Ohm’s back for moment before turning and heading right back to his desk and pick up the phone. That was one of the reasons why Roxanne liked Jerry, he was inquisitive but knew when not to ask questions too.
Roxanne lead the way down the familiar sterilized white walled hallways beneath the soulless fluorescent tube lights and across the grey tiled floor. It may not have been as extravagant as Professor Sycamore's lab, but Roxanne didn’t get nearly enough grant money to care. A small smile crossed her lips as Belle walked up beside her and nuzzled her leg.
“Cres will be fine Belle,” Roxanne cooed softly, scratching side of the red Absol’s head. “I promise you.”
Belle leaned into the scratching and looked up at her. “Absol,” she said, a distinct impression of ‘yes, yes he will’ carried beneath the ‘simple name’. Ohm continued to follow the two, part of his mind keeping track of the mare balanced on his back, making sure not to do anything too unsteady in his steps to cause her to slide off.
The woman lead the other two into the main lab, a spacious white walled room, well, what walls weren’t covered in equipment. A steady humming filled the lab, as familiar and comforting to Roxanne’s nerves as the sound of Matt’s breathing in the night. She walked forwards towards a large bank of computers where a rather large Metagross was currently folded upon itself. Xemnas’ eyes opened and looked at her.
Ah, Roxanne, I thought you were off today, he said, getting to his four large crystalline legs.
“Was, had an emergency and I need your help fixing it,” Roxanne replied with a smile, moving forwards and running a hand down the Steel Type’s side.
Very well, what seems to be the trouble? Xemnas inquired before casting a glance at Ohm. Oh, and hello Ohm. You seem to have an unconscious Pokemon draped across your back, would you like some help?
“I am fine, however this ‘Pokemon’ is actually the reason why we need your help,” the Luxray replied. He reached his head back to grab the edge of the sheet with his teeth before pulling it off his back to reveal Applejack to the Metagross. The mare indeed did seem to have fallen asleep, though once the sheet was removed and the bright lights hit her eyelids, they opened with a small cringe.
The mare lifted her head as she looked around the room, getting the eerie feeling that she’d awoken in the middle of Twilight’s lab. “Where... am I?” she ask, letting out a long tired yawn.
Interesting, a never before seen species of Pokemon whose mind does not feel like that of a Pokemon, Xemnas’ voice rippled through the room as the giant steel spider/crab walked towards her. Dissection required. The mare’s sleepy eyes widened as she leaned away from the weird metal spider, though, causing her to slide off of Ohm’s back with a small yelp.
“Xemnas...” Roxanne groaned, facepalming.
It was merely a joke, Xemnas replied as he used his powers to scan the woman’s mind. Ah, and at a time where there is no time for them. Forgive me.
“You did not know,” Ohm replied as he moved to Applejack’s side and helped her get back up with the aid of his head. The mare got back from her side and onto all fours once more before lifting a hoof to rub her sour and very tired head. “Do not be afraid of Xemnas, he’s here to help.”
The pony glanced up at the Metagross with her green eyes, dark circles forming underneath them. “...can he?”
I do not know, Xemnas replied, his tone curious. Though it is certainly an interesting mystery, whatever it is that’s afflicting you.
Roxanne nodded. “Right then, Xemnas, you get yourself familiar with Applejack’s mind, I’m going to start setting up some equipment along with a few ‘ward’ circles with some chalk... don’t know if they’ll actually help but we’ll see,” the woman said, patting Xemnas on the side before she walked off towards one of the walls.
Applejack continued staring up at him with a mixture of concern and confusion. “So.... what are you going to do to me?” she asked.
With your permission, I am going to familiarize myself with your mind, Xemnas said giving her as ‘reassuring’ of a smile as he can. In the background Applejack noted that Belle had wandered over to Roxanne and was leafing through a book.
Ohm had stayed next to the mare, keeping quiet but using himself as a support of sorts for her The pony’s body was having a hard time trying to stay still in one place and was wobbling around slightly. “And... exactly what are you going to familiarize yourself with?” Applejack questioned him further.
Your mind, he repeated.
“He won’t dive too deep, he’ll mostly be looking at the most recent memories and such,” Ohm clarified a bit more for her, causing Applejack to frown slightly.
“....keep what you find to yourself... alright?” she asked, or more demanded as she glanced back up at Xemnas with a bit more vigor.
Of course, Xemnas replied, as if it was obvious. Applejack then felt as if a cold steel spike had been driven into her skull. It didn’t hurt. It was just... extraordinarily odd. Recent memories replayed themselves in front of her eyes and then as suddenly as it had started, it ended, the steely spike withdrawing. Done.
Applejack felt her whole body given in for a moment, her head dropping. Ohm quickly intercepted before she could hit the floor however and her head instead touched down on the soft fur of his back. The mare regained control over the rest of her body and she pushed herself off, shaking her head from the feeling of numbness.
“Are you alright?” Ohm asked.
The mare nodded her head and lift a hoof to rub the area where she felt the ‘spike’ entering her mind. “Yeah... I’m fine, I’m fine.”
Apologies, your mind had quite an inbuilt defense, Xemnas said. It was as if there was a wall of stubbornness and ill tempered anger around your mind.
Applejack ignored the analogy and rubbed her forehead for a moment longer before placing the hoof down. “Just tell me you got what you need.”
I did, Xemnas replied simply. I suggest snuggling with Ohm as I assist in setting up your defenses. He is the only reasonably comfortable thing to lean against here for a creature of your size. With that said, the giant metal crab/spider/thing walked away from Applejack over to where the other two were.
The pony glanced over at the Luxray, who in return shared the same glance. “...I’m fine... and how exactly are you going to improve my defenses?” the mare asked, looking back at Xemnas.
You would not understand. If you must strain yourself, think of sandbags, he replied, moving over beside Belle and crouching in a ‘meditative’ stance.
The mare frown a for a moment and looked at Ohm to see if he could explain more, but he returned with a shrug. “It is like what he said. He will basically help you in putting sandbags up in your mind to make it harder for others to enter,” he replied.
Applejack blinked, still not fully getting it, but she could tell she wouldn’t get any further answers of it. “Alright then... so, when are we going to start? I would like to sleep and not meet... him.” Her body couldn’t help but shiver from thinking of the two nightmares she’d had. His cold voice whispering in her ears.
“Not for a while,” Roxanne called to her over her shoulder. “Oh, and your accent is really cute,” the scientist added as she continued to tinker with the machinery. “I can see why my favorite kitty is falling for you.”
The pony’s mind went blank as Roxanne seemingly could understand her and Ohm let out a small sigh. “Xemnas is helping translate everything for her,” the Luxray informed her before glancing over at Roxanne’s direction. “And like I informed Belle, no I have not. I’m merely helping her since Matt has entrusted me with her protection, and you two are currently busy.”
Roxanne just chuckled and returned to work. “Sure~”
The Luxray gave a small roll of his eyes, knowing it was fruitless to argue with her, all the while Applejack shaking her head. “Alrighty then... just try to be finished as fast as possible... please.”
“Of course dear,” Roxanne replied, peeling a panel off of one of the machines and sticking her face inside of it as her hands went to work. “Just giving you something for your brain to chew on.”
And that is that some lion creature is falling for me... yeah... I trust Ohm but nothing like that, Applejack remarked to herself, closing her eyes and letting out a sigh. Besides... if that happens I will have to call myself a hypocrite.
Roxanne just continued working, a weight slipping deeper into her gut. Despite her light words, she was terribly afraid at the moment. Afraid for Applejack, afraid for Cres, but most of all, afraid for Matt. The killer had a fondness for attacking cripples after all...
It lives
Yay!!! Lol we got romance jokes in here peoples!!!!
Yes, book still good!
Shipping it. Riiiiiiiight now
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5821446
Omega and I read all your comments guys, whether or not we actually ship them is up in the air (we really doubt we will) but it's fun to throw you guys a bone or two after being gone so long.
5821450 but you have toooo!!!! You got me all excited! You can't just stop!!
U gonna make fluttershy cry.
I'm kinda know why but I kept hearing Xemnas's voice in my head as sounding like a baritone version of Legion from Mass Effect
Nothingness is Eternal!
vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/kingdomhearts/images/9/9b/Xemnas_Final_Form.png/revision/latest?cb=20110807023230
So do they know who it is or not? They don't know what is going on but they already know "cripples are being attacked?" I'm not sure I follow. I don't recall that being part of what they uncovered earlier.
AppleOhm is an acceptable ship. They can learn to love and tolerate each other. Though...would a long distance relationship work or would one move to the other's world? You know you want to find out.
A Metagross would be a good psychic type for the job...
but I could do better.
Giving an awesome Pokemon a name from an awesome franchise? You're amazing, dude.
That was porn wasn't it?
img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130405221911/mlp/images/e/e1/FANMADE_Luna_I_see_what_you_did_there.jpg
Anyone else imagine Ohm's voice to be James Earl Jones?
And Xav might be little Simba...
5822212
But marshmallows are fairy type, not psychic.
I'mma take a guess and assume Jolly nature metagross? Metagross is my fav pokemon.
5825228
My old name was Mewtwo.
xD
5846561
yeah, sorry, college is kicking into its last few weeks and all the teachers have been like 'let's throw a paper at him and then have him do ten tests! GENIUS!'
This was just to get things set up but hopefully it was good at that, heh.
Just as an observation.
Let's assume it is Darkrai (I'm thinking it's Hoopa/Hoopa Unbound, and either way the point applies). Dark types are immune to Psychic types. How would a Psychic type help?
I mean we could say it's the whole fiction thing at work but I'm just curious. Or maybe it'll be explained in the next chapter, who knows?
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Based on my own observations, the Dark type's immunity to Psychic types is predominantly based off the Dark type's will to resist the Psychic type. Therefore, unless the Dark type is actively trying to block the Psychic type's efforts, the Dark type can still be affected by Psychic types. It would still be somewhat difficult for the Psychic type, but by no means insurmountable.
Alrighty, this has been way overdue... Let's see how much I remember...
(But before I get serious, Absolution is writing a comment for Absolution... ha! classic....)
*ahem* serious time now.
First off, I will start with the good.
I found Absolution (the first one) to be a rather quick affair. There was very little time to calm down and think that what Cres really wanted was to just have his memory erased... It ended abruptly and the 'deed' he wished to repent for was entirely predictable with no surprises held within the story besides- y'know what, this isn't about that story, let's just move on...
Absolution 2, on the other hand, is a rather well-conceived idea. Of course, that will depend entirely on the reasoning behind (Darkrai's?) methods, but for now, I'll reserve judgement on the main storyline...
But otherwise, AJ's reactions are as expected, bang on character. Ohm serves as a great 'mentor' per-say solving problems and explaining reason as easily as if he knew exactly what was going on and had been in this situation before.
Cres is angsty, stubborn and bitter to almost an insane degree. Belle is basically the complete opposite, I assume just for balance sake or so anyone could differentiate between the two of them...
And the two trainers are just there because they have to...
Moving on, I will say that you make battles real. Which is absolutely fan-bloody-tastic! I haven't read a story this battle-detail focused since back when I read/wrote on ff.net. The very real threat of death, how targeting a body part reduces it to nothing but a liability, the works! For that, I applaud.
however I did say that I'd start with the good.
Unfortunately, that's where the praise ends.
I constantly found myself distracted by missing/misused words throughout the entirety of both stories, (I noticed in some author's notes that you mentioned having a proof-reader..... I suggest you sack them and find someone who'll spend the effort to actually fix things)
Conversations between side-characters seems rather forced at times, as if their only goal is to point the main story in the right direction.
Giratina and Luna...? I- uhhh... Yeah, not going there...
And all the other mane 6 are inconsequential as they only serve minor roles throughout... (See comment about side-characters seeming forced just to forward the plot)
As it has been several weeks since I've read this story, I'm bound to be forgetting things, but if I was to have a few suggestions, they would be thus:
1) Find an editor. Like, someone who is serious about helping other authors.
2) Ditch side-plots. It's too late now, but the entire sub-plot of Luna being Giratina's lover just distracts from the task at hand. Giratina knows how time flows differently between realms, and yet he spends an entire day doing nothing (working out to be a week or whatever for AJ) just so he can re-kindle his romance with Luna...? YOU CAN BONE HER LATER! CURRENTLY YOU HAVE A JOB TO DO!
3) BLOCK CAPITOLS. Kinda ironic I only bring this up after using them... Yeah, don't use block capitols. It looks bad...
4) Make Cres more approachable. We know he's a creature of habit, most of the two stories reinforces that, but as AJ said, mentioning that you could murder someone in an instant without trying isn't normal... Like, at all... Ever... No matter what context... Which is sad to say, but when you have a carnivore who kills for food, then prays afterwards, it sets an inconsistent tone from the character. (In all situations when he brings this up, Cres is fighting because he has to, not because he wants to.) And for someone who doesn't want to fight that much, he spends a lot of time provoking others.
5) Shinies, please. I know they look awesome. But it doesn't seem like a 1 in 2048 chance would indicate 2 in the same household. Wait a sec, this takes place in Sinnoh... RNG breeders pls! (Yes, I know this is incredibly picky, but picky is what I do)
There. That should just about do it.
Anything that isn't mentioned gets a passing mark, so you're doing those things well too. But otherwise, I shall look forward to the next chapter like everypony else.
さよなら
5897555
Wow, thanks for the wall of text, heh, also thanks for the praise and the criticism, every bit helps man! Here's a slightly smaller wall of text in return.
1) The main problem with most of the editing duties of this story have to do with the fact that Omega_code has a few minor learning things that twist the way grammar sounds (along with tenses) in/out of his head so when we write I'm always going back and correcting those so it's easy to miss my own (and I'm no saint of good grammar either) and every editor we've had has been horribly unreliable. We've had people who took literally four weeks to get back a chapter that was around 3000 words long.
2) In retrospect we probably should have ditched that for later, blame our habit of 'knowing the ending but not the middle' on that.
3) Eh, that's more of a stylish thing then anything else really *shrugs*
4) Noted
5) For shinies Omega and I aren't exactly following game mechanics, its more genetics based then anything else really. (honestly that goes for a LOT of things because game mechanics only go so far when writing a story)
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And I shall probably end up building the wall back up again by the time I'm finished with this reply.
1) I suppose that makes sense, I apologise for sounding so harsh then. If you use GDocs as your writing platform, I'd be more than happy to volunteer myself to help.
2) Well, if it is relevant to the main storyline then I take it all back... But still, Giratina shouldn't be so easily distracted.
3) Not really. I know you were using them to show that he was shouting or angry, but that's why you use such words. Any author/reader worth their weight will tell you that they're just massive no-no's within a publication. Then again, this is fanfiction and anything else is just so much loud noise.
4) Yay!
5) Ah, you went via the genetics path of reasoning. Very well, that makes it a bit clearer. Oh well... Maybe it's because I prefer the binary colour scheme of base Absol vs. the shiny version.
5899124
1) Really? That'd be great, right now we just have each other and a friend who does a quick glance over.
3) Yeah, I know, it just works better on fimfiction because I've found otherwise people just ignore it.
5899124
1) No need to apologies, I know my grammar is not the best, though I do try to get it correct as much as I can. And yeah, Ed and I would be happy if you want to look over future chapters for us.
2) I do agree, but were trying to prolong story just enough so we weren't just rushing through the plot. It got a bit clustered, but everything has a reason to it. I assured you.
3) Same opinion as Ed. You got to know your audience how well they react to certain things.
4) I will keep my mouth shut for this. (Ed and I have both have small arguments about Cres's attitude, but we always come to a stand still. Like most of the readers, we are split in our support of either AJ or Cres. (I'm for AJ, not because I'm the one who write her, heh))
5) Yeah, we only use some of the game's logic, along with the anime, for our story. Though we mostly used them as guide lines than absolute truth. (Pun not intended). Everything that doesn't really aligned with both is our own fan-cannon for this universe of ours.
SHIP!!!! SHIP!!!! AJ/Ohm for the win~
5948193 that's what I thought