Is Immortality Really Worth It?

by Nadake

Dreams of Blood and Pain

***Okay guys, there is a reason this story has both dark and gore ratings***

Twilight screamed in the darkness on the mountainside. She screamed and screamed, only stopping when she tasted blood, her throat scrapped raw in her endless, violent need to vent her emotions. She was in the remains of the dragon's hoard on the mountain near Ponyville. The area was now unrecognizable though. Once glistening piles of coins and jewels sat, standing proud and tall above the plebeian sight of the town beneath them. Now, the gold, silver, copper, and many more precious metals lay in pools and puddles.

The enchanted sword had been the first to suffer her fury. Twilight had leveled her horn at the bloody sword, and unleashed a bolt of unrefined power at the weapon. The wards on the blade shattered like so much glass in the onslaught of the unicorn’s blast. As the wards shattered, like always, the magic became heat. Blobs of molten gold were sent careening in every direction, one even scoring a long streak on Twilights side, leaving a thin, long line of burnt hair in its wake.

The rest of the cave quickly met a similar fate, as the unicorn broke through wards the dragon had spent years methodically crafting, breaking each one. The dragon often spent years preparing their slumbering caves, to protect their hoard in their slumber. The truly terrifying aspect of this attack was not its rage, nor even the sight of the gold turning into slag. It was that the unicorn wasn’t even trying to break the wards. The magic was not shaped and honed to pierce through the invisible bubble that surrounded the gold. The mare was simple slamming into them with a force strong enough to make the fluid shields, designed specifically to be unharmed by such an attack, shatter as though so much spun sugar. The only analogy that can be made is that of breaking water, by dropping a mountain on top of it.

The heat of the repeated strikes swiftly destroyed the hoard, obliterating any recognizable feature save color as the molten metals ran and flowed into each other. The heat generated by the magical attacks had long since reduced the coins to so much slag, and much of that same substance now coated the floor, filling in the deep rents the heat had split into the side of the mountain face.

Now though, the unicorn stood still, panting, as blood flowed into her mouth from her torn throat. The mad glint still held her eyes, but behind the insane rage, there was something that could almost be sadness.

“Twilight, why aren’t you sleeping well?” Luna had simply asked, out of the blue. Up until that point, Twilight had been fine, she had even been happy to have company at night. With that one question though, she remembered. She remembered why she had incinerated the letter that Princess Luna had sent her. She had remembered why Luna had come. It wasn’t from some platonic interest, nor was it simply to spend time together. It was because her sister wanted a spy.

“I sleep quite well. Why do you ask?” Twilight had said, matching the alicorns stare for impassive stare. Fluttershy sat in the corner, crouching slightly in an attempt to avoid the coming conflict.

Luna raised one regal eyebrow, a look so poignant that she scarcely needed to speak. “Oh? Then why have you refused to let yourself dream?” The immortal looked cooly at Twilight, knowing that she had caught the unicorn.

“Because, because I don’t like what they show me.” For the first time since Luna had arrived, hesitance and uncertainty claimed Twilights voice.

She had been dreaming of Celestia these last weeks. She had dreamed of the flowing mane, the gentle smile. They had walked, just the two of them, through fields of swaying grass, without duties or responsibility. They would speak with each other, of this and that, and nothing much at all. Then a touch would linger, and a glance would turn their heads. Celestia would bend her neck, reaching down from both the literal and metaphoric heights she ruled from, and nuzzled the unicorns neck. She would sigh as she felt the Princess’s soft lips on her mane, playing with her fur. Every time, she would lean back, face close to the ear of her beloved, rubbing her face against her mentors. “I love you, I will always love you.” The words would spill from her mouth, like rich honey, hot and sweet.

But then Celestia would jerk back as if stung, and glare at Twilight. Her horn glowed and Twilight found that she could not move. Slowly the Goddess would walk to her, her face contorted in cold fury. “What do you know of love, little mare, little foal? I have lived for centuries. I have seen ponies love, and loved myself. Then I watched them die. I swore never again to love, never again to feel that pain.” Then the Princess reared back, slamming her gold shod hooves into Twilights extended forehoof. With a sickening squelch and a snap, the alicorn’s powerful frame drove the hooves through Twilight’s leg, breaking through the bone and crushing their way through the flesh.

Twilight screamed, pleaded with the Princess to stop. It never worked, and the Princess looked up from the leg, severed on
the grass, splintered bone visible in the flesh. “I think, my faithful student, that it is time for your last lesson. Today, I believe I shall teach you about pain. So that you may feel a fraction of my pain as the ponies I have loved have been torn from me. Then you can tell me you love me."

The dream would blur then, and Twilight only remembered the agony, not the details. A snatch of the dream would surface, such as Celestia biting a large piece of meat off of Twilight’s body. Most of the dream was blissfully blank though. But the end was clearer than any crystal. Celestia stood over her pupil, horn dripping blood down the regal face. Long stains on Twilight's coat, what was left of it, showed where the horn had gored the young mare. The mingled look of fury and pain was still in Celestia’s eyed, though she was calmer now. “Now you know how I feel. Every single time.” She would whisper, gentle tears falling onto Twilight, stinging as they touched the raw flesh, and burning as they fell on the open slashes.

“I- I said.” Twilight said, chocking the words out with blood. Her lung had been punctured at one point, and the effort of speech was almost unbearable. “I will always love you.” With the last of her strength, Twilight would lift herself up, and look at her Princess. Her teacher would stare back, tears in her eyes. He enemy would look back, fury present once more. But her Princess, the Real Princess would look back, eyes glowing with joy at the words. Twilight would dry her tears, rubbing against the soft fur of the Princess’s face one last time, before death swooped in on tattered wings, taking her forever from her love.

It was the end of the dream, that final thought of never being able to see the Princess, to talk to her, to seek her advice, to cherish her love that made Twilight so upset. The dream itself was unpleasant, and Luna had obviously seen most of it judging by the look she cast at Twilight, speculative, worried, and frightened.

She thinks that I’m insane. The thought came to her in a rush, nearly knocking her over with the force of the realization. She was afraid that Twilight had lost her mind, to succumb to such vile thoughts of Princess Celestia. No pony in Equestria could even consider the idea of their Princess being anything but kind, still less could they ever imagine their beloved Princess horribly torturing and cannibalizing them.

Since the first dream, Twilight had always managed to wake herself before the pair of them said their final goodbye. Luna had not seen that. She could not have. The Princess may have been the Mistress of Dreams, but she simply could not monitor every dream every pony has had. She had noticed when Twilight had stopped sleeping shortly after leaving the Palace, and taken a special interest when the she saw her own sister brutally torturing the mare in the dream, the very thought of such a thing so abhorrent that she had closed herself off from the dream completely.

“And why do they show you those... things?” The question was delicate. It was not demanding an answer, nor was weak, it was simply a question.

“You tell me, you are after all, the Mistress of Dreams and the Maiden of the Mind.” The reply came out stiff, forced. The alicorn had rattled the poor unicorn, making her relive in her waking moments the pain and horror that lurked in her dreams.

“It means that you are afraid. Of what, I do not know. But the very thought that anypony could imagine my sister doing such… evil things. What is it about my sister that has you so bothered. You have not slept deeply or well since you left the Canterlot Palace, and hardly at all since you began having this dream. What happened there that has made you so… lost?”

“I, I can’t talk about that.”

“Twilight, you need help. If you will not let me help you, then at least let your friends. They would all willingly give you of themselves to ease your pain. Let them. You are hurting them. You are hurting yourself. And you are hurting my sister.”

“And you are hurting my sister.” The words echoed from the memory, bringing a fresh wave of pain to the unicorn, both from the ache in her heart, and the blood on her tongue as she began to weep. After Luna had spoken, the unicorn had simply walked out the door and teleported away. The Princess’s words brought too much pain. Soon, that pain turned to anger, and the anger into hot, destructive rage.

She had removed herself from society, knowing that soon she would not be able to think. The cave on the mountain had suffered the full extent of her unbridled choler. The lights that had exploded from the peak had been dazzling, nearly blinding Princess Luna and Fluttershy as they looked for Twilight. Even from the town, the sheer overwhelming force of Twilight’s magic had reached Luna. She had extended a wing, sheltering the fearful pegasus.

“W-what is that?” The quite voice asked, trembling as the yellow mare shuddered unto the warm comfort of the alicorn’s wing.

“Twilight.” The royal mare softened her tone, determined not to upset her friend. “She is… hurting. Bleeding on the inside. I fear for what will become of her without help. But I cannot help her. You must, you and your friends. I shall speak with my sister, and keep speaking to her until she relents. Whatever it was that passed between them, it hurt them both.”

“We should go and help her now.” The pegasus ducked out from under the wing, moving towards the mountain peak still bathed in light.

“NO!” She said, forcing the smallest slip into the Royal Canterlot Voice, just enough to halt the mare. “That light up there, that is pure magic. There is no control, there is no protection. If you go up there now, you may well die, if not from the magical exposure, then because Twilight will not recognize you. She needs to calm herself, and there is a far better place than here. Imagine that power in the center of town. Let her rage, then rest. But go and see her in the morning, and talk to her. Make her tell you, and your friends, what is wrong.”

“Oh my faithful student, nothing is stronger than a parents love for their child, than my love for you. Except maybe the love of a mare and a stallion. You will know that love when you are older, and you will see.” The Princess had said long ago, after a question from Twilight. The filly had asked her what love was, and how you knew if you loved somepony. Even then, as a filly that barely reached the knees of the Princess, Twilight had known.

“Love is simply the most complex thing in our world. There are many kinds of love. The love of ones friends, the love of ones family. The love of a parent and child, the love of teacher and student. There is even a special kind of love between a mare and a stallion, and that is the most beautiful love of all.” The kind smile graced her lips, and Twilight smiled back, even as her brow knit in puzzlement.

“But what about other kinds of love? Cloud Mail and White Fire say that they love each other, and they're both stallions.”

“I suppose you are right. Well, let me put it this way. Someday, you will meet a pony. You will see them for the first time and think that they are wonderful. You will befriend them, and later, you will learn what love is. Love isn’t something that happens in an instant, not even in books. I don’t think you can explain love in words, except to say that when you are with them, you always feel warm inside. You can love anypony, as long as they love you back.”

“I love you Princess.” The filly said, curling up next to her mentor and sighing happily. The steady, deep breathing of the alicorn pillow calmed her, and she felt safe and happy once more.

“You are my student Twilight, and the daughter of my heart. I love you too, and I always will.”

“Princess.”

“Yes, my little pony?”

“You make me feel warm.” The soft chuckle never left her mouth, but the unicorn felt it beneath her head, and gently fell asleep.

The memory brought fresh tears to Twilight’s eyes. Until that horrible day in the throne room, that had been the only time she had ever told Celestia. The obsessive work, the rejection of friends, the overwhelming need for the Princess’s approval had taken every waking and sleeping moment of Twilight’s life. She had known then that she loved the Princess, and would forever. But she had also known that the Princess saw her as a child, and a student. Not as a mare loves another, or a stallion loves a mare. Twilight had thought, had hoped and dreamed, that if she simply tried harder, then eventually, the Princess would see.

She hadn’t. Even after Twilight had left the Princess for the first time in years, obeying the orders she was given, Celestia hadn’t seen. Not until Twilight had told her in the light of the dying sun, and had felt her heart ripped in two as the Princess denied her. She would apologize in the morning. In the morning. Tonight though, tonight was hers, to shed the tears she constantly fought, and to try and move on.

Comments

[Mossflower]

495480

[Master85414]

Thanks for the update.

[Nadake]

495492

Yeah, the smile may not be the right one for this installment.

[Pleaseworkforonce]

KILL CELESTIA! ive been wanting to do that for a while

[Nadake]

495587

You okay there honey? your rage is both scary, and colorful

[Pleaseworkforonce]

495599yay i just aways wanted to do that other than fluttershy rage ive never used twilights

[Mossflower]

a note on my earlier thoughts on the word: 'breathtaking', it can also be described as 'immersing into a story so deeply that you forget to breath for a short time'...just a thought...

495566
call me insane but i had grin on my face the whole time, not cause i think its funny but because i found the chapter so enjoyable! (just as i've found every other chapter of the story so far)

[Nadake]

495663

WELL then. That's, umm good? *Sidles away slowly*

Lol, I liked how it ended up. Glad to know I wasn't the only one.

[Genjen]

A powerful installment, and it show cases Twilight's unrest splendidly. I'm not much for the darker violence it held this time, but the line at the end of it where Celestia says: (“Now you know how I feel. Every single time.”) put a very deep tone to the whole thing.

Seeing Luna looking into dreams makes me worry for her though. I hope she knows which ponies thoughts to avoid, otherwise she may be very unsettled.

[Anonymo]

Another good chapter, I love mad Twilight. At first I thought she was raging because she hated the color gold... gosh I don't know when that popped into my mind, but I'm severly brain fogged atm and haven't slept for 2 days because of my broken arm. (Not like that, lol but I liked to sleep on my right side, now I can't so I have to wait until I am terribly tired in order to catch some shut-eye.)

[Everestt]

I know this story updates fairly quickly, but it feels so very slow at the same time.

Doesn't update fast enough for how much I'm enjoying it. Twilight is my favorite character and for some reason I love seeing twirage. Go figure.

What don't you understand about.....MOAR. -Mr. Krabs

[RedvsBlue327]

Raging in a cave is only the beggining. Soon she will find closer places, or better options, until eventually it evolves (Or rather devolves) into, "Alright, I released my anger on my friends, so what?"

[Mortis Nex]

CRUSH. KILL. DESTROY. SWAG.

[CuriousCurse]

Ok, I for some reason enjoy this story and I'm planning on reading it all... in doses mind you...

One thing though, your brilliance and twisted mental adventure with twilight so far has totally screwed up my ability to see her in a positive light, at least for a small while. So obviously you're dangerous to my fanon and I should ask you a question mister brilliantly evil threat to my sanity writer...
Tell me why I shouldn't kill you right now...?

[Missguided]

The only analogy that can be made is that of breaking water, by dropping a mountain on top of it.

How do you break water?

[Waldemar1234]

2937485

Pritty much like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcNjxbI758Q

Greetings from Germany, 3ee