667 Dorothy Avenue
Bite me. . .Please?
It was common knowledge that the mansion at 667 Dorothy Avenue had always had a vampire living in it. Or at least that’s what people said. The owner of the mansion, Mr. Paole, always had a Vincent Price look to him, and the fact that he was rarely seen during day didn’t help. But while the rest of town was content to spreading rumors about Mr. Paole and his blood sucking ways, Octavia Philharmonica, Ponyville’s resident teen expert on anything remotely creepy, never put much stock in it.
For one thing, Octavia had seen Mr. Paole out and about in the middle of the day. No screaming, no hissing at the sun, just an old man getting his mail. Then there was the fact that while he was getting said mail, he happened to be wearing fuzzy bunny slippers and a matching house coat. “Honestly,” thought Octavia, “What vampire has, let alone wears, fuzzy slippers?” She shook her head at the disturbing image, and once again for good measure. And then there was the most theory crushing evidence that the old man could in no possible way be a vampire.
He was dead.
Mr. Paole had died little over a month ago from a heart attack. Paramedics had been called to the old man’s house, and they’d found him lying on the floor clutching at his chest. Hell, she’d even asked a few of the paramedics and they’d told her the exact time his heart had stopped while they were there.
There had been a small, quiet service. The man didn’t have any family to speak of, or at least any that showed up to the funeral. Some idiot, thinking they were funny, had stabbed a spike through the old man’s heart while he lay in his coffin. Other than that though, Mr. Paole was buried without incident.
And then a few days later when a real vampire attacked. Sure, Octavia had no proof or evidence, but the signs were everywhere. There had been sightings of a bat in the area, not bats, singular, as in just one. Usually, if people spotted a bat there was a whole colony nearby, but no. People had only seen one, flying all over the area, then heading into an open window in Mr. Paole’s mansion.
Then there were the disappearances. Random people, suddenly vanishing in the middle of the night, only to be found hours later with no recollection of where they’d been. They’d show signs of feeling lightheaded and disoriented, which had been chalked up to blood loss, along with two pinpoint marks on their necks. Octavia wasn’t exactly a genius, but even she could tell that this was the work of a vampire. Not some psychopath or organ farm, like the police would have people believe.
“Well, it doesn’t matter,” she said as she stepped up to the ornate door labeled 667, “If I’m right, I’ll meet a real live vampire, and if I’m wrong.” She shrugged, “Well no one knows where I am, but I’m sure they’ll figure it out eventually."
She knocked, and after a minute or two of waiting nothing happened.She reached for the doorknob, to check and see if it was locked, but as she did it slowly begin to creek open. “Really,” she whispered, irritated, “Am I going to find a skeleton in the closet too?”
Octavia took a few steps into the house, ready to go into a full on rant. Obviously, whoever this vampire was they had no imagination. She was just about to mention how that trick hadn’t been scary for the seventy years when the inside of the house destroyed any rational argument she had.
The inside was just how she’s imagined it, incredibly cliché but beautiful all the same. She was in the foyer of the manor, a grand staircase leading towards the upper levels of the manor stood across from her and long red carpet, bisecting the room until it reached where she stood. A giant crystal chandelier, bathed light down from above. “Darker than blood,” she thought, and then shook her head. She hadn’t snuck out on a school night just to let fear get the best of her.
There were portraits, both old and new, encircling the room. A cacophony of stern faces, glaring down at her, expressing their disapproval that she was here. Each one painted in a slightly differently, and each representing a different time period. However, there was one feature that was present in all of them though, Mr. Paole. It was hard to tell because he was so young in most of the photos, but the man in the painting was undoubtedly Ponyville’s former vampire. Because he was a vampire, there was no doubt in about that now.
She turned her head to what looked like the most recent painting. In it was Mr. Paole, just as she remembered him, his trademark scowl replaced with a smile. A smile that was—unlike ever other painting in this room—shared by the girl in the painting with him. Her skin was pale just like the others, but unlike the rest of them she seemed to have a certain air about her. Her hair was blue, spiking out into the air using who knows how much hair gel. Her eyes were hidden by a pair of sunglasses, but you could still catch a glint of mischief behind them.
“She’s beautiful,” thought Octavia. And she was, but the most interesting feature about her were the twin fangs peeking out from her lip. “Are you who I’m here to see?” She whispered, entranced by the mystery woman.
Crash!
And just like that the spell was broken, replaced with a cold chill. That had come from upstairs meaning someone, or something was awake in this house. " It's just that bat," she whispered under shaky breath "It probably just smashed through a window or. . . "
The sound of a footsteps on a creaky floorboard silenced her. “Damn, damn, damn. Okay, calm down, Octavia, it’s not like you’ve gone very far. The door is literally six feet away. You can just turnaround and run very fast, you’re good at that.” She started inching toward the door, taking slow and deliberate steps to try and avoid making too much noise.
"Come on, you're almost there, Octaiva, just a little bit—wait, what's that?" A slow sweet melody had descended from above. it captured her ear, and held her there. Slowly, but surely, she started moving away from the door, headed toward the staircase, and the location of that beautiful music. Past stairwells and through hallways, she followed the tune. Weaving in and out of the maze-like building to the dulcet tempos of a piano. Until finally it stopped, leaving a G# hanging in the air, and a very lost Octavia, standing in front of a plain wooden door.
It wasn’t large and intricate, like the rest of the house. It wasn't even dark and menacing dark like what was behind it, because there was something behind it. And whatever it was it left Octavia terrified to open it.
She wasn't given a choice though. As the door was suddenly flung open, and she was confronted with a pair of violet eyes. "Sleep," they commanded. And she did. The last sight as she faded into blackness were those eyes, and her last thought?
"Beautiful."
Stats
Page generated in 0.041 seconds
Total duration
1,011 users online
1,129,562 hits today, 1,290,726 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Go for it!
This one's... alright. A few things didn't make sense though. Octavia knows that the old man wasn't a vampire, so why'd she change her mind when she got in the house? And why was she afraid? She wanted to get bitten.
Vampires, OctaScratch, man, this is my kinda-
... Damn, not my usual cup of tea, but I'm gonna stick with it anyway.
Moar.
Hm.
This is gonna be awwww right.
4965984 I could've explained that a bit better, but basically when she saw the inside of the house it fit everything she knew about a vampire, but that wasn't enough on it's own. What really got her to believe were the portraits, all of them were from different time periods, and ad Mr.Paole in them indicating that hes some sort of immortal.
Interesting
I like this so far, just hope it doesn't fall into the "every other OctaScratch vampire fic" category. At least this has Octi wanting to get bitten, that's nice
Intriguing
img.gawkerassets.com/img/17h1fslie525zjpg/original.jpg
4967069 Ah, okay.
please continue, and update swiftly, I love this story so far. Only thing that would be better is if it would be ponies and not humanized but I'm not complaining.
her?
You've definitely caught my interest! I hope to see new chapters soon! Please keep it up :)
saw a vampony fic gave a chance checked first chapter.........I-I-INSTANT FAV.....combo
I love the writing style thus far! Please do keep writing more I'd like to see what happens next this is quite thrilling... I normally dont get into the HUMAN side of things. (Does not mean I don't read HiE stories but I'm not fond of the EG side of fanficions as of yet.) Still you'r writing style really has me intranced!
Title. Check. Description. Check. Picture. Check. All are good looking and ready to go. I already want to read the whole thing.
4970297 My eyes are glued to the page, waiting for that update. My eyes are getting sort of dry. Please update soon.
So far i like the story alot.
Im a sucker for VinylTavi stories though especialy vampire ones ^^
Its well written and in a good pace.
Do continue to shape this soon-to-be masterpeice :3
Ps.
Love biting scenes x3
I'm interested by the premise and your writing style. Please keep it and continue writing post haste.
I expect to see a new chapter of this fict soon or I shall devour your mortal soul!!
Honestly, when I saw the title, I immediately thought this was gonna be some S&M kinda thing.
Though, after a read, I still think this is a really good story. Keep it up m8.
4974244 Ha, jokes on you. I sold my soul on eBay.
Please give more I like this story already and would love it to be continued
4974897 and I bought it using some guy I stole from money. And while you were busy reading this msg. I stole back said money.
4975556 Yes,but what you couldn't have guessed is that, I was the guy you stole money, from, and since I have tracking devices on all of my money, I now know where you live. Have fun with that knowledge. Bye
4975596 jokes on you jack ass! I found the tracking becons not 5 feet after stealing/restealing it from you and made the money into smaller bills before taking that money to a bank where I had the bills turned back into larger bills while claiming that i'd just won all of it in small amounts from those stupid scratcher cards. Oh by the way nice boxers! Though hearts really? How stareotipical can you be?
4975658 Haha wrong beacons otherwise you'd know my boxers are all plaid.
P.s while you were stalking a random guy I got my soul back.
img832.imageshack.us/img832/3277/persona4popculture.jpg
Forgive me.
4975805 You just had to bring that up. didn't you?
4975816 FORGIVE ME
PLEASE
4975825 You brought, up incredibly stupid literature, which I'm probably going to rag on later in this story. Then again you also have a picture of Shel Silverstein so all is forgiven.
4965993 Don't worry its probably going to get a bit more mature later on. When that happens I'll probably switch it over to teen possibly borderline mature. Shits going to get creepy.
4975976
I meant that in a style more along the lines of, "damn, I was hoping they'd fuck" kinda vibe, but that's cool too.
So long as there's more, I'm happy.
4975672 lol or did you and did I? Using my skills in genjutsu I swapped out your boxers with your creepy neighbors and simply made you think you were still wearing your own!
Good story, but..
You, really, need to get, an, editor. Seriously, it's, annoying, to read everything, like this.
4974784 You and I both.
I am certainly and most definitely looking forward to this. I like the first chapter, it's really intriguing.
HNNNG so awesome!
Can't wait for the awesome ride of reading the future chapters! :D
well Octavia never read Morganville vampires, Myrnin loves his bunny slippers X3
need update cant wait ahhhhhhhhhhh!
Cool, I like it, it's short and simply, and tells us all we need to know I think, defiantly makes me interested in what you've got planned for this story.
(P.S. I've found an odd number of Taviscratch stories about vampires, is this a really popular thing for them? Or are vampire stories really popular and I just haven't found any that aren't about Vinyl and Octavia? If so, anyone know any good ones you could recommend?)
4979766 nope just Octascratch. Also Fluttershy but even before that episode its been popular.
Wow a human Vin/Oct Vamp fic. This has never been done before.
Thats sarcasm. This has been done about 1001 times and youre garbage for adding another shitty iteration of it.
4980299 theory of the seven basic stories look it up. People are always recycling plotlines, stories and ideas to make something new. Even if they're not taking it from something else there's a good chance it's been thought of before. For instance a man in the 1600's I believe came up with most of the basic SciFi tropes such as space and time travel and Aliens before the genre ever really existed.
A story isn't entirely about the premise. Its what you do with that premise that makes a great story. That's why remakes like Oceans eleven, Scarface, and even Star wars can outshine the original source material they come from.
4980625
Ignore Defendant. There's about ten trolls trying to get famous for slinging this sort of stupid shit on every story, discouraging authors and sabotaging their will to write. Snuggly is one such.
Hopefully Knighty will come down from on high and smite them eventually.
Okay, 1 sentence in, and already commenting, but... Is that an "A Series of Unfortunate Events" reference?
667 Dark Avenue, 667 Dorothy Avenue
Dark Avenue, Dorothy Avenue
Well now, after reading it, I can safely say that- MOAR!
MOAR FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MOOOAAAAR!
I love it, I love it, I LOVE IT!
Only one mistake I could find:
Missing the letter V in Ponyville
4980792 Nope, but it is now. Also thank you for catching that. I need to find an editor.
4980299 funnypicturesbay.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2014/05/funny-pictures-tired-of-all-the-frozen-references.gif
I didn't care much for this chapter. I think it might have been better with less purple prose or something. I don't know. I'm not a writer. It might just be that it's too short, and I have to read more than that to get engaged.
But I'm interested, so I'm favoriting it. Hopefully, I'll like the later chapters better.
4983052 Interesting you bring that up. That was one of the things I was a bit worried about while writing. I tried to trim it down or at least make it appear a bit smaller by adding in more of Octavias thoughts but I'm not sure it worked.
4981391
I am willing to volunteer to be your editor if you would like =3