A mother's love, a daughter's passion, and a destiny neither of them could've predicted. Just how much is love and life destined in Equestria and just how will it effect the lives of the two ponies connected the most through destiny?
Well, this seems like an appropriate time to comment. I have been reading a chapter whenever I got the chance to do so, and I have found so far that each time, I found it pleasantly enjoyable. I am really touched by how much Dinky loves her mom, and how she so very much wishes to see her happy. Simply... beautiful!
I have noticed numerous minor spelling and grammatical errors. I would assume that you could use an editor, just to find and help correct those few mistakes. One thing I do like about your formatting is how you add a space between paragraphs. It does make it easier for me to read.
Overall, this fic has been excellent so far, and though I have only gotten up through chapter 3, I have full confidence that I will continue to be very pleased with this story.
Yep, this story only gets better as the chapters go on. Although from what I was told from other readers, until you learn about the desperation and loneliness of Derpy, her acceptance might be a bit fast. And my editors did miss some things here and there, the emotional payload as things progress is great.
Well take your time, and I hope you enjoy the fic . Thank you for your comment.
“Oh! We’re here! I hope you like La Pasture’, it was hard to get a date here, but I was lucky that the matter dee pony person, was able to squeeze me in since I was able to pay in advanced,” Derpy chirped.
Shouldn't Dinky be the one talking? I don't know, like I said, maybe I'm misreading this or something. I might also be misunderstanding the word "chirped."
Well my only problem at this point is that fact that you seem to be underplaying the hole your my daughter and you wanna get with me thing I mean if the hole gifts thing wasn't a hint that Dinky was serious the. The reasturant and hearing about how much she spent should have screamed I want you bad.
Honestly, I wouldn’t say it’s that hard to imagine. Depending on how you’ve been raised, on your own opinions and open-mindedness and, as already mentioned earlier, taking into account Derpy’s loneliness, it seems pretty reasonable to imagine her immediate acceptance. In her situation, I probably would have reacted at least the same way, if not even more outgoing.
Honestly, as a writer, i don't know how i would write the conflict of Derpy not wanting to date her daughter, so i'm not mad at the instant ok-ness about it.
Well, this seems like an appropriate time to comment.
I have been reading a chapter whenever I got the chance to do so, and I have found so far that each time, I found it pleasantly enjoyable. I am really touched by how much Dinky loves her mom, and how she so very much wishes to see her happy. Simply... beautiful!
I have noticed numerous minor spelling and grammatical errors. I would assume that you could use an editor, just to find and help correct those few mistakes. One thing I do like about your formatting is how you add a space between paragraphs. It does make it easier for me to read.
Overall, this fic has been excellent so far, and though I have only gotten up through chapter 3, I have full confidence that I will continue to be very pleased with this story.
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Yep, this story only gets better as the chapters go on. Although from what I was told from other readers, until you learn about the desperation and loneliness of Derpy, her acceptance might be a bit fast. And my editors did miss some things here and there, the emotional payload as things progress is great.
Well take your time, and I hope you enjoy the fic . Thank you for your comment.
Maybe I'm just mixed up/confused, but...
Shouldn't Dinky be the one talking? I don't know, like I said, maybe I'm misreading this or something. I might also be misunderstanding the word "chirped."
Loving this story reguardless.
~Eon
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No you're right, and fixed. Also chirped:
Well my only problem at this point is that fact that you seem to be underplaying the hole your my daughter and you wanna get with me thing I mean if the hole gifts thing wasn't a hint that Dinky was serious the. The reasturant and hearing about how much she spent should have screamed I want you bad.
suspension of disbelief is punching me.
I know it's just fiction but the instant willingness to date her own daughter with little to no hesitation is killing me.
6136938 maybe she thinks it a phase? You know, a "Dinky doesn't know what she's talking about" phase
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Honestly, I wouldn’t say it’s that hard to imagine. Depending on how you’ve been raised, on your own opinions and open-mindedness and, as already mentioned earlier, taking into account Derpy’s loneliness, it seems pretty reasonable to imagine her immediate acceptance. In her situation, I probably would have reacted at least the same way, if not even more outgoing.
Honestly, as a writer, i don't know how i would write the conflict of Derpy not wanting to date her daughter, so i'm not mad at the instant ok-ness about it.