A mother's love, a daughter's passion, and a destiny neither of them could've predicted. Just how much is love and life destined in Equestria and just how will it effect the lives of the two ponies connected the most through destiny?
I'll fix those, and don't need too. If you want too cool, but if you don't then you don't have to do anything more than read what you feel like reading. If three people looking through the fics missed them on their comb through, then *shrugs* it happens. Especially with almost 47k written in a little over 8 day. As for the "them comment", they mentioned talking to Trixie, and that they heard about what happened from Twilight's friendship report. So I thought it'd be obvious that the ponies in the conversation would know who did what. Since they have bits and pieces from different ponies on the events of the episodes where Trixie showed up.
That and it was said in chapter 11 that Celestia and Luna have limited omniscience [Via Peeping Tom dimension, and memories lifted in dreams]. So it's not that far off that they'd know enough to know the names of the colts involved to one degree or another.
I found it odd that Rainbow Dash didn't seem at all surprised by the mention of Twilight's herd. In any case, the story is still cute. I'm happy with how filly Tia is being written, even if she's different than I'd have imagined her. She's funny and adorable. Luna is funny for a whole different reason. I like her grumpy morning attitude.
4874956 A single good editor will do better than 3 editors going through hastily. It takes almost as much effort to edit well as to write well, sometimes more effort if there are a lot of mistakes. It's one reason I don't offer to edit very often. I'd rather spend the time on my own fic.
Anyway, the editing could be worse to this point, but it could also be much better. Learning to catch most of your own mistakes will be a big step forward as long as you aren't lucky enough to get extremely patient and thorough editors. I recall your first chapter of Rubies being very clean and appearing well-edited, by comparison.
Well Scootaloo and her have been together since around chapter 9-10. So she'd know about the herd [since Twilight's the one who helped hook them up]. OMC! I actually had a part of the convo that led to Scootaloo and Dashie being together and I couldn't help but write it down. Super feels inducing, I can't wait to get to that fic, the super happy snuggle times™.
You are missing something over here. Them? who are "them"? We know it's Snips and Snails, but when writing a story, you should write those things.
their.
Honestly, there are too many mistakes, I don't feel like pointing each one of them.
4874922
I'll fix those, and don't need too. If you want too cool, but if you don't then you don't have to do anything more than read what you feel like reading. If three people looking through the fics missed them on their comb through, then *shrugs* it happens. Especially with almost 47k written in a little over 8 day. As for the "them comment", they mentioned talking to Trixie, and that they heard about what happened from Twilight's friendship report. So I thought it'd be obvious that the ponies in the conversation would know who did what. Since they have bits and pieces from different ponies on the events of the episodes where Trixie showed up.
That and it was said in chapter 11 that Celestia and Luna have limited omniscience [Via Peeping Tom dimension, and memories lifted in dreams]. So it's not that far off that they'd know enough to know the names of the colts involved to one degree or another.
[edit]
http://www.grammar-monster.com/easily_confused/there_their_theyre.htm : Checked. It was "there" since it was a place / location. Rather than a form of possession.
I found it odd that Rainbow Dash didn't seem at all surprised by the mention of Twilight's herd. In any case, the story is still cute. I'm happy with how filly Tia is being written, even if she's different than I'd have imagined her. She's funny and adorable. Luna is funny for a whole different reason. I like her grumpy morning attitude.
4874956 A single good editor will do better than 3 editors going through hastily. It takes almost as much effort to edit well as to write well, sometimes more effort if there are a lot of mistakes. It's one reason I don't offer to edit very often. I'd rather spend the time on my own fic.
Anyway, the editing could be worse to this point, but it could also be much better. Learning to catch most of your own mistakes will be a big step forward as long as you aren't lucky enough to get extremely patient and thorough editors. I recall your first chapter of Rubies being very clean and appearing well-edited, by comparison.
4908396
Well Scootaloo and her have been together since around chapter 9-10. So she'd know about the herd [since Twilight's the one who helped hook them up]. OMC! I actually had a part of the convo that led to Scootaloo and Dashie being together and I couldn't help but write it down. Super feels inducing, I can't wait to get to that fic, the super happy snuggle times™.
4874922 Dude, you pointed out the wrong "there" in the last one there.
4984719
Found and fixed.