"Princess Celestia?" The sound of a young filly’s voice caused Celestia to look up from her book. Her faithful student, Twilight Sparkle, had set down her own book to gaze hopefully at the princess.
"Yes, Twilight? Is there something I can help you with?" Celestia smiled warmly. She always saw her students as the children she could never have herself. Twilight was especially precious to her. That drive for knowledge the filly had reminded her of the sister she had so long ago, with her own strive for knowledge. Perhaps one day she could grow up to be something special. Perhaps Twilight could even follow in her babysitter’s footsteps and become a princess.
"Princess Celestia, will you marry me?" Twilight took a few steps forward, staring Celestia in her eyes. Celestia blinked twice as she looked into her reflection within Twilight’s eyes. A warm smile crossed her face, causing Twilight’s eyes to open even wider.
"Twilight, don’t you think that you’re a little young to have decided to spend the rest of your life with somepony?" Celestia used her large wingspan to scoot her student closer to her, looking down on the filly with the kind of tenderness that only mothers showed. "Marriage is a big commitment, one that many ponies take years to deliberate over. And even then many of them aren’t entirely ready for it."
"So it’s like a test?" Twilight said, her eyes going wide again and the faintest traces of a grin starting to appear.
"Not quite," Celestia chuckled, nuzzling Twilight affectionately. "I’ll make a deal with you. If you wait a few years, give yourself some time to grow up first, meet many other ponies, then you can come back and talk to me about this." Twilight’s ears drooped slightly. Celestia gave her student an affectionate nuzzle. "Though, I suppose I could marry you. Just give it some time before making your decision OK?"
Twilight’s ears perked up. She squeezed her mentor tightly before bouncing around the room in glee. The princess smiled as the filly bounced before her. It would really be a special day. After all, most ponies wouldn’t get to have a princess preside over them and officially marry them to the pony of their dreams.
Celestia smiled as she let herself into her private study. It had been extremely hectic with those vines that Discord had conveniently forgotten to explain sprouting up in Ponyville. But Twilight rose to the occasion, saving not only the summer sun celebration, but also the two stellar princesses. Celestia had worried that the unexpected extra pressure would have caused her protege to crack from the strain. Twilight had really exceeded expectations making Celestia extremely proud of her protege.
Celestia yawned, stretching as she curled up onto a pillow. The tea she had requested earlier lay beside the pillow, the aroma lifting pleasantly wafting in her direction. Celestia poured herself a cup, filtering it through her magic so that it’d be just the right temperature. The princess smiled, enjoying the feeling of tea slide down her throat. Her body shuddered slightly in pleasure as her muscles started to relax. This was just what she needed. A few knocks came at the door, prompting the princess to respond, "Enter."
The door creaked and Twilight spoke as she entered. "Sorry for disturbing you, pri- I mean Celestia." The new alicorn slipped in as she rambled on. "I know today was really eventful, and I’m sorry for almost calling you princess again; I know you said I don’t have to do that anymore, and I feel I should get used to it anyway, and I’m sorry for disturbing you again it’s just that I wanted to talk to you and—" Twilight’s ramble was halted as Celestia held one of her wings up. Twilight silently tittered for a moment as the door behind her bounced half-way closed.
"It’s fine, Twilight." Celestia said, a small laugh in her voice. Her student’s nervousness was a feature that she had been familiar with for as long as she knew the mare. "It’s always a pleasure to be with you. Just take a moment and breathe a bit before you speak. Compose yourself. There’s no real need to be nervous around me." Celestia smiled as she watched Twilight stammer a bit. She took the time to take another sip from her teacup.
As Twilight finally started to calm down, her whole manner started to straighten up as well. "Celestia, a long time ago we talked about love." Twilight asked, looking near unblinkingly at her former mentor. Celestia nodded, remembering the conversation well. Twilight had asked the alicorn to marry her. Celestia had baited off the young unicorn by telling her to wait a while before deciding on somepony. When confronted with a disappointed student, Celestia remember letting the foal know that she would precede over the ceremony. In other words "marrying" her.
"And you told me on that day that I needed to grow up, meet other ponies, and then we could talk about it again." Celestia nodded, the smile on her face growing slightly wider. Her little Twilight was growing up. She was anxious to hear who Twilight had met, and to meet them herself. "And I feel that I’ve gone through enough to have made that decision now. Wouldn’t you agree Pri- I mean Celestia?"
"I would say you’ve travelled and gone through quite a bit Twilight." Celestia said, her cup clinking slightly as she placed it back on the saucer. She poured herself some more tea continuing, "You have lived in Ponyville for the past year, and have met many extraordinary ponies. I think you might be ready if you feel you have found the right pony." Celestia took another sip from her teacup, the smile on her face wider than the everfree chasm. "Do you feel you’ve met your very special somepony?"
"Yes." Twilight said without hesitation.
"Well, I’m very happy for you, Twilight." Celestia said. She stretched her wings as she rose. "Meeting your very special somepony is an exciting event. Marrying them is a once in a lifetime event, and I’m so excited for you."
"Oh Thank you, Celestia, I knew if I waited you’d keep your promise." Twilight rushed forward and hugged Celestia as she turned to face the young princess.
"You’re quite welcome, Twilight." Celestia replied, returning the hug with one of her own hooves. When the embrace broke, Twilight immediately bounded towards the door. "Before you go Twilight, who is the special pony?"
"Why, you of course!" Twilight said as she reached the door. "You agreed to marry me when I was younger, saying that all I had to do was grow up first remember?"
Celestia chuckled at the enthusiasm of Twilight as she darted out of the door. She took a sip from her teacup still smiling, before pausing a fraction of a second as what Twilight said processed. Celestia choked, the teacup shattering on the ground as the princess rushed wildly for the door.
Yes please!
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Celestia: No, wait! I meant the second meaning of the word! The second meaning!
Yeah, that probably adequately describes the feeling Celestia has right now.
4729798
The statement is also true though.
Think of it this way the Sun is a star but it is OUR star. Our solar system.
If a thousand stars go out in the night sky, we might think its weird but it won't effect life too much.
Sure, we might panic if they were stars whose emission spectrum said will not explode and the galaxy is undergoing some kind of catastrophic event.
If Sol goes out? We're dead.
Six Brides for Two Sisters did it better : /
4729910 That's.... deep, humbling, and terrifying
4730190
You're really gonna base that on one chapter that has only introduced the plot?
*reads the premise*
So, Twilight has so little respect for Celestia as a person she's going to force her to marry her by abusing a legal loophole. That is profoundly and deeply fucked up. There is a reason we find cultures who marry their kids off at 12 without their consent as problematic. It's primarily that part, you know, about consent. In fact we tend to take a dim view of anything that involves relationships (or sex, as marriages are often wont to do) without consent. Using "law" as a means to force someone into a relationship is goddamn wrong and I am really hope I don't have to explain to you why.
So, besides the a priori fridge horror, the fic also makes no goddamn sense. Really? Celestia thought it was cool to have a law that made it okay for her to pressgang people into her household and bed? She wrote that? And if she didn't write that, she consented to its continued existence? And what, does Equestria lack some kind of legal/judicial oversight? States can be sued and laws overturned in sane societies for a reason, you know.
So, basically, this is a fic where Twilight is a cowardly controlling little monster, who used an insane law Celestia apparently was either too stupid or too selfish and self-centered to see a problem with until it bites her in the ass to force Celestia into a marriage against her will, and we're supposed to find this funny-and in-character?
Finally, you really don't need the magic of Ancient Law (which is basically meta-code for "THE AUTHOR SAYS SO" in MLP fanfic) to set up the actual plot, which is Twilight going on a series of comical dates while getting closer to Celestia. Like, this could just be an (unlikely) outcome of Twilight confessing her feelings at all. It's a bit of a stretch but you could make it work if you play it just the right way.
So, no, this fic has serious fundamental design issues and needs to go back to the drawing board.
This looks oddly familiar.
4730803 Calm your pants, the only thing that's been set up is the basic premise of the story. We don't know how things will work out, or why.
4730803 Way to make assumptions before the story even really gets started. What ever happened to 'Wait and see'?
4730554 Yes, because the other story had a way better first chapter too
But the sun IS a star. Silly billy.
4732255
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Can't really see where this one's going quite yet... or if it'll be as funny as its predecessor. I'll be watching though.
Some small advice though: it's customary to use " " quotes for dialogue, and ' ' quotes for thoughts (or any number of other methods) and seeing dialogue with single quotes is a bit... disorienting. It's also pretty standard with internet writing to put an extra space between paragraphs, rather than just the indent method traditionally used in books. It's just a little easier to read on a screen. There's also... something wrong with your sentence structure, but I can't quite pinpoint the exact reason. You might try going back over it and reading each sentence individually out loud to see if they sound right, that tends to help find the awkward bits.
4730803 Apparently it's okay for you to do to other authors what made everyone who read your story an ignorant, mockery-worthy jerk who was clearly saying what they were saying just to get a rise out of you. You are treading on very thin ice, my friend.
4731784 From the plot synopsis it looks like there's gonna be a bit taken from my collab with The Abyss, too, but I liked the first chapter's dialogue and found it decently cute. I'm interested in seeing where it goes.
4733857
Since I like to point out the whole single/double quotes thing, since I get a lot of comments on it. It's a regional thing, with several places such as Australia, parts of the UK, teaching the single over double quotes for dialogue. I know it's far more common with the internet to use the American way of double quotes, then single quotes for other things, but it's not any more grammatically correct and honestly, it's weird for me to type dialogue in double quotation marks this way after years of both fan fiction and professional writing. The usual structure of single quote dialogue is 'this is a quote "and a quote in a quote" and now end quote' with things that don't happen in real time, such as thoughts, flashbacks, ect, are in italics. I mostly mimic the literature I read and the grammatical rules I've studied. As such I favour the single quotes.
I have, however, edited the story to space out the paragraphs. It's been a long while since I've posted anything new on the site and I'm still getting re-familiarised with it. I'm also going over the story again thanks to a friend stepping forward and being my editor ^.^
4733995
I honestly had no idea that fic you were talking about existed, your collab I mean. I'll have to give it a read since I just popped over to check it out. Looks interesting ^.^
4734831 Ah. Must be just a strange coincidence, then. Well, either way you've got my attention. Hopefully later on you'll branch the story away from Six Brides and tune up the description. Whatever the case, good luck.
4734831 I'm an Australian and I use double quotes, just saying.
I think Twilight took it too well, she would have realized that Celestia didn't mean what Twilight thought she meant because of that last question. Twilight ain't stupid, the issue should have resolved itself there. Twilight would be heartbroken sure, but stilll it's resolved.
I liked how it took Celestia's brain a few seconds to process that.
That double meaning of 'to marry'!
I won't comment on the use of single versus double quotes (either is fine with me so long as the usage is consistent), but I'm fairly sure you're still supposed to use commas before dialogue tags. 'I did it,' said Twilight as opposed to 'I did it.' said Twilight.
Other than that, funny and great dialogue. This would be okay as a one-shot, but since it's not, I'm eager to see how this will turn out. Here's hoping it goes well.
But the sun is a star
You misspelt Celestia in the short description.
Hmm. I like the set up, and the comedy so far. I'll be keeping an eye on this one.
4737461
thank you for pointing that out, I fixed it
4740103
You're welcome, glad to help.
Ah man, I've read this fic before. I'm not complaining either, as long as it's Twilestia I don't really care.
4740351
You're the second person to say this, so I'm curious as to what fic came before that I've apparently unknowingly copied. Unless it's Six Brides for Two Sisters, in which case I know for certain I'm going in a very different direction to that fic.
Decent fic but the title is simply nonsense scientifically speaking.
If you still need an editor I'd be glad to help out.
4740680
Join the line of people to point out that the sun is the star. I would like to point out that scientifically speaking it does hold up because the sun refers to Sol, as in the large burning day ball that allows life to exist on the planet earth, and that when planets orbit other stars we don't really say they have their own sun scientifically, we say they have their own star. As such referring to the Sun as the bright burning day ball there is only one particular sun, through the exclusion of one being a part of something does not make everything said something. EG Twilight is a Unicorn but not all unicorns are Twilight.
4740816
Thanks for the offer but I found an editor already. If you want to help with other works you can PM me and we can discuss from there (I actually have 4 other fics that I'm working on currently besides this one >>)
4740955 Actually we call the sun the sun because humans like to give names to things. Before we were around to give things names our sun and every star in the universe we're the same thing. The only distinction is the one we artificially created. If we hadn't show up and decided to call our star "the sun" then it would still be exactly like every other burning mass of hydrogen out there in the universe. Not every unicorn maybe be Twilight but every unicorn is a pony and Twilight is to.
4740998
Even if it is a burning ball of hydrogen, it is the one that gave live to this planet. And even if it didn't it'd still be unique just because it exists at that space and time where no other stars represent it. Even if calling it a sun is arbitrary it's an arbitrariness that highlights it's uniqueness. As such even if it is similar to every other star out there, there is only one of it. As such the logic proof stated within the title of there being many stars but only one sun still holds true. There are many stars, including the sun, but the sun is the only sun there is. There are many ponies, including Twilight, but there is only one Twilight.
4741014 Actually its more like logical semantics really.
4740390
Bingo, but that doesn't matter. I don't care if it is somewhat similar to another fic as long as it's good.
This Celestia is very cute. I adore her.
I like this amazing story a lot! It is funny and it is interesting.
4743639
My Celestia is one of the few characters that is relatively uncomprimised from fic to fic. Since I wrote The Sun May Rise, but the Daughter Reigns, I've had a very strong headcanon for her. A lot of it is fleshed out in that fic, though you don't get as many character interactions in it.
Also I don't care if it's selfish but because of that fic Celestia became my favourite princess
4743669
Celestia is my favorite princess too... Yay to the Eternal Sun:)
4741035
No, you're just over analyzing it. Yes, the star the Celestia supposedly controls is probably not any different physically than any other star, but the fact that it is the star that the pony planet is closest to makes it entirely valid to differentiate between stars and the sun, especially when you consider the fact that Celestia is bound to THAT star and not the others. Besides, when has scientific accuracy impeded the creation of artwork anyway?
4741035
4741014 *throws science at the question* http://curious.astro.cornell.edu/question.php?number=483
also our sun is called a sun not a star because stars are distant things for us while the sun is relatively close. another thing to look at is the fact that not all stars are suns and not all suns are stars (look at Suns being hidden by another Suns light).
4751401 What would would a sentient life form in the next galaxy over call our sun? Fairly certain it'd be a star. A star is a giant burning mass of hydrogen, the sun is a giant burning mass of hydrogen.
I mean come on. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sun
I don't care what you wanna call it because changing it's name doesn't change what the thing is. Hell you could call it the "Super bright light making heat producing awesome sphere of coolness" it's not gonna change what the damn thing is.
4751545 it is all a matter of perspective. tell me, do you wake up every morning and say "gee the star sure is bright today" What the sentence of the title means is everyone in every solar system (unless they have twin suns) calls their main star a sun so there is only ONE sun and MANY stars, including the sun
4751624 Sounds awful segregationy to me you racist. How do you think the sun feels about being you separating it from the rest of it's kind?
That's some fucked up logic there Adolf.
4751721 shit ive been found out... HEIL THE THIRD REICH
4752215 Aryanne is a pretty well put together mare I can't lie.
I want a sequel!
4755344
While I appreciate your enthusiasm, usually one does not write sequels until they finish the first fic first. Thank you anyway, and please look forward to the new chapters
4755500 That's me, not looking at the tags again! I always think that all the good stories are one shots! Sorry about that!
Well then this seems interesting! Starting of a story with a bang, or should I say a certain Solar Princess' Spittake. I think I'll be following this.