After the events of roughly one week ago, life becomes complicated for the mane six as they each face their own problems but this is the least of their issues at the moment. Tirek Has returned and is draining the magic out of ponies.
Heh. Well, Celestia just lost both of her strongest trump cards. I do look forward to the Discussion Twilight will be having with her. Perhaps she could take Discord and they could bond over kicking her.
And why are they taking a tour when Twilight still has a long talk with a filly on her schedule?
You rush a lot, particularly when it comes to descriptive stuff. Tirek getting owned and the sprouting of Twilight's new digs could really have used a lot more attention.
Descriptions have ALWAYS been a constant struggle for me as a writer. However, I admit to completely rushing the castle appearance scene as I said in a previous journal, I have no love for the "BUY OUR TOYS!" moment from the episode.
You could see that as a chance to make the scene your own, and redeem it in your own eyes. You've reworked the episode heavily to fit your continuity, so redoing the Ultimate Glowy Head-Wang into Insta-Castle scene wouldn't be out of place.
That was a great chapter but you still made it the crystal castle why couldn't you match it with Ponyville proper You could have made that scene even better than what DHX/Hasbro did but I understand the reason you rushed it I WANT MOAR SOON! If that is alright with you
Pinkie pie seemed to look the least worried of the five as she balanced a book on her nose and counted quietly to herself as if seeing how long she could keep her stunt up.
Pie ________
Look, we're all worried about her but ya don't see me gallopin' out that door to go find her do ya?" Applejack stated simply.
move down a line. ___________
The god of chaos and disharmony being best friends with the elements of harmony.
Suddenly a rainbow colored light short forth from the top of the chest, landed on the heart of the tree of harmony, and began to stream out in different directions to each limb of the tree which depicted the symbol of each mare's respective element.
The six mares returned to the tree of harmony expecting it's purpose to be over only to be in for yet another shock as the tree itself seemed to explode with magic and erupt a rainbow colored beam from itself to the very outskirts of Ponyville.
princess of friendship. But what is the princess of friendship without her friends?"
Princess Celestia suddenly found herself under the disapproving glare of the six elements of harmony with Fluttershy looking as if she was ready to throttle the Alicorn.
"I'll explain back in Canterlot. For now, I think it may be wise to leave the princess of friendship with her friends."
capitalize ________
"Almost immediately after this however,
delete " mark. __________
One the Alicorn left the room, Celestia turned her gaze to Discord with a extremely pissed off expression.
Wasn't there three Ali's and a very angry Dissy? The other two Ali's are also mentioned later. What did they do? __________
It looks like Celestia may want to invest in a flame-resistant lead-lined suit for the impending nuclear blast that is a raging Twilight that is about to hit her.
ya know reading that end now really puts into perspective why discord gave her the flowers in the show. it wasn't of love or for peace, it was flowers on her grave she had dug herself. knowing how pissed off twi can get with tia and how angry tia can get back from other stories you've done I am really looking forward to that confrontation. also something that occurred to me from last chapter. twi saying she'd make scoots wings fully grown but no magic spell for it. well she can put on her big pony pants and just make a spell, or make scoot's an alicorn so she can have something better then a cutie mark to cram down diamond and silvers throats hehe
5508059 One you can't make someone an alicorn unless the author of this version decides to create a loophole. Discord could probably do it though breaking rules is what he does.
...go Discord.
Heh. Well, Celestia just lost both of her strongest trump cards. I do look forward to the Discussion Twilight will be having with her. Perhaps she could take Discord and they could bond over kicking her.
And why are they taking a tour when Twilight still has a long talk with a filly on her schedule?
You rush a lot, particularly when it comes to descriptive stuff. Tirek getting owned and the sprouting of Twilight's new digs could really have used a lot more attention.
5503064
Descriptions have ALWAYS been a constant struggle for me as a writer. However, I admit to completely rushing the castle appearance scene as I said in a previous journal, I have no love for the "BUY OUR TOYS!" moment from the episode.
5503082
You could see that as a chance to make the scene your own, and redeem it in your own eyes. You've reworked the episode heavily to fit your continuity, so redoing the Ultimate Glowy Head-Wang into Insta-Castle scene wouldn't be out of place.
That was a great chapter but you still made it the crystal castle why couldn't you match it with Ponyville proper You could have made that scene even better than what DHX/Hasbro did but I understand the reason you rushed it I WANT MOAR SOON! If that is alright with you
i hope discord fucks someone up
Pie
________
move down a line.
___________
capitalize
________
delete " mark.
__________
Wasn't there three Ali's and a very angry Dissy? The other two Ali's are also mentioned later. What did they do?
__________
There's only one fitting thing I can say to that.
Discord is a badass when he wants to be!
It looks like Celestia may want to invest in a flame-resistant lead-lined suit for the impending nuclear blast that is a raging Twilight that is about to hit her.
5503087
Hey, at first I wasn't even going to write it!
I literally typed this out at first:
ONE SUDDEN APPEARANCE OF A CRYSTAL CASTLE LATER...
But after a few minutes of looking at it, the writer in me grabbed me by the shirt and did this:
allthetests.com/quiz31/picture/pic_1417749474_1.jpg
Followed by screaming at me:
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! WRITE THE SCENE AT LEAST YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A WRITER!!!
And so I wrote out the scene at the very least.
5506750
Haha, the only safe place for her would be the moon...
Nah, not even the moon would be safe from a mother's wraith.
ya know reading that end now really puts into perspective why discord gave her the flowers in the show. it wasn't of love or for peace, it was flowers on her grave she had dug herself. knowing how pissed off twi can get with tia and how angry tia can get back from other stories you've done I am really looking forward to that confrontation. also something that occurred to me from last chapter. twi saying she'd make scoots wings fully grown but no magic spell for it. well she can put on her big pony pants and just make a spell, or make scoot's an alicorn so she can have something better then a cutie mark to cram down diamond and silvers throats hehe
You should post that little OOC snippet from tumblr as a non-canon chapter. Or perhaps add it to the author's note of this chapter.
5508059
One you can't make someone an alicorn unless the author of this version decides to create a loophole. Discord could probably do it though breaking rules is what he does.