Prologue
Canterlot was busy as usual. Ponies milled about, whether it be for business or pleasure, one would have to ask. Of course, if one were an inhabitant of Canterlot, then they'd know better than to ask. Nobles weren't always kind with their words when it came to their whereabouts.
School had been let out a couple hours ago, so fillies and colts of different ages were mixed within the crowd. Some talked about shopping, some talked about homework, and others held conversations too tedious for mentioning. Adults rolled their eyes whenever a teen passed, muttering something about "kids these days".
Green eyes scanned over the crowd, flicking to and fro between the chatting teens, never lingering too long on one place. The owner of the shamrock irises said nothing, for she had nothing to say or anypony to say anything to. No one seemed to notice her silence or her presence, so moving through the crowd was rather difficult to do because of her small size.
She rolled her eyes, then stopped in the middle of the path. Ponies grunted and gave small complaints at her action, but none actually confronted her. She sparked her horn alive, the same bright green that encased her eyes illuminating her horn. A small flash of light embodied her, though it did little to deter the passing ponies. Teleporting Unicorns was the norm, especially in the place where most magical discoveries and origin derived from.
She appeared on the sidewalk, sparkles of green glittering around her and dissipating into the air. She looked to her right, a small smile coming onto her face as she caught sight of a bench. She took a seat, her saddlebags sliding off of her and onto her left beside her.
Now all she had to do was wait.
The young mare lifted the flap of her bag and pulled out a notebook, her eyes widening with anticipation as she flipped it open. She slipped on her reading glasses, pushing them up the bridge of her nose so that she could look down at her research.
OPERATION: Dropped Fruit
SUBJECTS: Glimmering Joy and Tooty Fruity
OBSERVATIONS: Subject Fruity works a a fruit stand in the plaza. Earth pony; single, no form of contact with mares outside of family members and acquaintances. Awkward, shy, unsure. Considerably attractive, by society's standards, but lack of confidence and awkward behavior tends to take from aesthetic appeal.
Subject Glimmering Joy works at an office as a secretary with part time work at a hospital. Doubles as source of income and a wife to aspiring doctor Polished Silver. Unicorn; Marriage is unhappy, fraught with fighting and financial troubles. Previous attempts to rekindle romance and achieve form of stability failed and taken into account for operation. Rumors of infidelity on Silver's part support this claim, including observations of Silver's flirtatious behavior when separated from his spouse. Highly attractive, but work takes toll on subject's ability to preserve self care, though this is unseen by the former subject.
Subject Fruity and Subject Joy have shown affection for one another, more so than that of Silver and Joy when in the presence of one another. It started with Joy dropping a fruit from the stand, prompting for Fruity to pick it up and replace it for her. He replaced it for free, initiating conversation and leading up to a friendship between the two. Attraction appears to span beyond platonic behavior; support includes blushing faces, awkward laughter, and hushed giggles when they depart.
The mare frowned, her eyes narrowing in scrutiny as she looked down at the sentence that was holding back her subjects.
It is unknown if Glimmering Joy is willing to separate from Polished Silver at this time.
The mare looked up from her notebook, nearly dropping it in the process as shock took hold of her. Her her eyes wandered over as they caught sight of Glimmering Joy, who was more tromping through the streets than walking. The older mare's curly, exotically dark mane was disheveled and hung like dried up vines. Her pristine white coat was stained with dried substances-- perhaps a spilled drink?-- and her hooves were messy from the mud that came from the night's previous rain. Her green eyes were bloodshot, possibly from crying. The mare felt bad as she looked at her cutie mark, a large sparkle surrounded by smaller, different colored ones that was meant to convey her spark of joy and life.
The mare lifted up her pen, her eyes wide and her rear on the edge of her seat. She had seen Joy look more or less the same, but her demeanor was forced cheerfulness and held an obvious restraint of negativity. This time, however, there appeared to be nothing holding her back from showing how she was feeling.
Her gaze shifted from Glimmering Joy to Tooty Fruity, who was working his stand as usual, completely unaware of the oncoming storm that was Joy. He adjusted his cap with a hoof absentmindedly, his going over his fruit with care. His mane was scraped underneath his work cap, though due to previous observation the mare knew that it was purple in color. His coat was a lovely contrast, though one wouldn't know it with all the stains that covered it. His cutie mark, surprise, surprise, was a bunch of fruit encased in a cornucopia with golden trim around the entrance of it.
"Ugh!" Joy growled, her eyes narrowing even more. As the mare looked even more, she saw streaks covering her cheeks. So she had been crying. "I can't believe him! After everything I've done!"
'Notice her!' the mare screamed in her mind, directing her gaze to Fruity.
Thankfully, Fruity answered her prayers as he looked up. His amethyst eyes widened and he rushed to the other side of the stall to see Joy, who appeared to be fighting back more tears. He stood in front of her, blocking her path. "Whoa, Joy, are you OK? You don't look too good."
Joy scoffed a bit, though it wasn't directed at Fruity. "Nothing, Fruity. It's just that today I realized what an idiot I am."
Fruity's brows furrowed in worry. "What is it? What happened?"
Joy's eyes narrowed. "What happened?" Tears came to her eyes, though it was more in anger than sadness. "That stupid bucking idiot I married is nothing but a lying cheater, that's what happened!"
The ponies around them seemed to pause in time, all heads turning in perfect unison to see where the outburst had come from. The mare sighed a bit, annoyed at the nosy nature of the Canterlotians. Of course, some ponies decided that the spectacle wasn't their business and continued on, whereas others were more interested.
'Well, I guess that means those rumors were true, then...' the mare thought, a bit sad at the fact.
Fruity didn't seem to notice the stares, however, as he was too shocked to do anything. "He did what?"
But Joy was too far gone. Tears spilled from her face as her hard expression turned soft with sadness and she fell to her knees, small sobs escaping her. "He cheated on me... After everything I did to support him and his education, he cheated on me." She shook her head. "That bastard had a nurse bent over his study desk when I got home from work-- Oh, he wasn't expecting me to be early, I bet! He tried to convince otherwise, but I'm not an idiot. I went to Canterlot's School for Gifted Unicorns, I know something when I see it!"
Fruity shifted awkwardly. "Do you think maybe... Maybe we could get out of the path? This seems like a private matter..."
Joy sniffled, then took Fruity's hoof as he extended it to her. "Thank you, dear... Oh, Celestia, what am I going to do? We didn't have a pre-nup or anything... And I moved into his house, so that means I have to move out--"
"Hey, now, we'll worry about that later," Fruity told her, bringing her up from the ground. "Come on, I'll take you to the smoothie stand and get you that strawberry banana hay smoothie you like so much."
Joy smiled at him tenderly. "Thank you... I don't know what I'd do without you. You've always been so kind to me..."
"Anytime, Joy," Fruity replied. "I like helping you. Besides, you need it right now."
"You know, I could always stay at my sister's," Joy said out loud, a small smile coming to her face. "She's always saying I don't spend enough time with her, so I suppose now would be a time as any to make my stay."
"That's the spirit!" Fruity cheered. "Besides, if Silver gives you any trouble, I'd be happy to help you take care of it."
Joy scoffed. "Please, I could take him out in a matter of seconds. The only reason I haven't is because I was in too much shock to do so, and I probably would have been apprehended for my actions."
"Well, I'm just glad that you came to me for help," Fruity's voice faded from hearing range as the two continued forth.
The mare smiled a bit, then collapsed against the bench as her notepad and pen dropped to the ground in front of her. "Finally!" She laughed. "Sweet Celestia and Luna, it finally happened!"
"What finally happened?" a voice asked.
The mare's eyes opened up, and she look left to right, then sat up to see a Unicorn mare standing in front of her. The Unicorn lifted her notepad up, her eyes scanning it briefly in curiosity.
"Hey!" the mare exclaimed, jumping from the bench. She grabbed a hold of it with her magic and snatched it from the Unicorn. "That's none of your business to read!"
The Unicorn didn't seem fazed. Instead, she arched a brow. "Were you taking notes on those two ponies over there?"
The mare huffed angrily as she stuffed her notepad and pen back into her saddlebag. "Like I said, it's none of your business." She glared at her. "I mean, who do you think you are, getting yourself involved in other ponies' business? That's totally uncool!"
The pink Unicorn's brow raised even higher up. "Really? Because you were doing the same thing over there."
The mare blinked, unsure what to say for a brief moment. She shook her head and resumed her glare. "Yeah, well, like I said, none of your business, you... you..." The mare's eyes widened, her pupils dilating to the size of pinpricks. "Uh-oh."
The Unicorn that she had been yelling at was not indeed a Unicorn, as she had thought. A pair of wings resided on her sides, touched with purple along the edge of the feathers, revealing her to be an alicorn. A very familiar alicorn at that, if her crown was any consolation.
"Oh my gosh, Princess Cadence!" the mare cried out, horrified. "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, I didn't mean to sound so rude, I was just so upset because you took my notepad and I really don't like it when ponies touch my stuff so I just--"
"It's alright," Cadence said, smiling at her. "I shouldn't have looked through your things. But, I find it a bit interesting that you keep notes on your romantic observations. Maybe I should do the same thing?"
The mare sighed a bit. "Oh, thank you! I am so glad you're not ups-- Wait, huh?"
Cadence giggled. "I'm actually a bit impressed, to be honest. I don't think I've ever seen somepony show such tenacity for the sake of love." She tapped a hoof to her chin in thought. "Well, I suppose Twilight would do the same, though probably for magic instead."
The mare's jaw dropped. "Twilight? As in, Twilight Sparkle, the protege of Princess Celestia?" Her cheeks warmed, bringing a rosy glow to her porcelain complexion. "You know her?"
Cadence nodded. "Well, I am dating her brother and I did foalsit her when she was a filly, so I guess it's safe to say I do know her quite a bit."
The mare's jaw fell open even more. "You're dating Captain Shining Armor? Oh my gosh!"
Cadence blushed a bit, a sight that the mare was so happy and lucky to see. "Well, yes, for awhile now. Of course, it's a bit of old news."
The mare blushed even more. "I'm, uh, not in the Canterlot loop like I should be... I alternate between my parents every month, so I don't normally get the scoop like everypony else does... And I guess don't really have anypony to share the news with, so it's not like it matters." She blinked in surprise. "Did I say that out loud?"
Cadence giggled, then took a seat besides the mare. "So, what's your name? You know mine, so I guess it's only fair that I know yours."
The mare smiled in return, settling into the bench a bit more. "Lovestruck. My name is Lovestruck."
* * *
Five Years Later
Princess Cadence sighed as she made another turn within her paces, her worry beginning to make her restless all the more. She turned to the crystalline grandfather clock once again, the clicks seeming to slow down every time she did.
"Where is she?" Cadence whispered to herself. "She was supposed to be here five minutes ago..."
"Cadence, pacing won't fix anything," Shining Armor told her as he stepped up to her side. "Also, you're making a bit of a draft."
Cadence frowned at him. "I know, Shining. But, she's almost never late." Her eyes widened. "What if something happened? What if she changed her mind?" She closed her eyes in terror as she put her hooves to her face. "Oh, I should have known asking her to move to the Empire with us would make her uncomfortable!"
Shining put a hoof on her shoulder. "Don't worry, sweetheart. I've seen how hard she's worked; there's no way she'd miss this chance. Besides, she was totally excited to come with us."
Cadence spared him a weak smile. "I know that." Her smile faded and she frowned. "But, Auntie told me that it was my responsibility to choose a capable apprentice. I don't want to have wasted all this time on one only to have been wrong or to have pushed her away."
Shining chuckled. "You know, whenever I talked to Twily about her experience at the unicorn school, she told me that she was always worried and frantic about pleasing Princess Celestia. Besides, you've only been teaching Lovestruck for a couple of years." He smiled at her. "You shouldn't be so worried."
"But, then where is she?" Cadence asked. "I haven't heard anything about her all morning. Have the guards told you anything about her whereabouts?"
"I doubt that they'd be happy to run into her," Shining observed. "Lieutenant Opal is still complaining about the last time she had a magic burst."
Cadence frowned a bit. "And that's another thing. Lovestruck's magic can become unstable if she lets her emotions get the better of her. What am I going to do if she has another magic burst and ends up affecting an entire city full of ponies?"
"She's gotten those under control, hasn't she?" Shining questioned, unsure of the answer himself. "I mean, we haven't had a big one in a while, right?"
"I know, but I'm worried, Shining," Cadence admitted. "Really worried. And I don't know what I'm going to do if something ends up happening..."
"Cadence!" a voice called out, breaking the two of them out their conversation.
Shining's eyes widened as he saw Lovestruck rushing down the hall, showing no sign of slowing down. He encased her in a field of magic, causing her to come to a halt. "Whoa, there! What did I tell you about running in the castle?
Lovestruck rolled her eyes at Shining. "Not to do it because crystals are super slippery." She sighed in exasperation. "But I was in a hurry! I didn't think walking would get me here on time!"
"Why were you late, anyway?" Cadence asked. She spared Lovestruck's messy mane a glance. "Did you oversleep again?"
"I didn't mean to!" Lovestruck defended, not liking Cadence's disappointed expression.
Cadence sighed. "Did you stay up reading romance novels again?"
Lovestruck crossed her forelegs. "Yes. And I was analyzing the romanticism of having stalker coltfriends and obsessive marefriends, so don't bother asking." She scoffed. "Alright, we get it, sometimes broken souls have the most charismatic romantic experience, but that doesn't mean the relationship is gonna work out!"
Cadence sighed once more. "Put her down, Shining. We have plenty to discuss."
"Alright," Shining said as he released Lovestruck from his magical hold. "Don't cause any trouble, OK?"
"Too late for that," Lovestruck said, prompting a frown from Shining. "Hey, I already spent the morning rectifying an unrequited love situation between two guards! Poor Amethyst got his heart broken last night when Abalone told him he didn't swing that way."
Shining sighed. "Poor guy. What'd you do to fix it?"
"I may or may not have suggested he go out with Angel Aura?" Lovestruck answered, sounding embarrassed.
Cadence frowned at her. "Lovey, we've talked about this. You can't just insert yourself into somepony's love life like that."
"But you used to do stuff like that all the time!" Lovestruck argued.
"Yes, but now that I'm older, I know that you just can't get involved in something that doesn't concern you." Cadence's face softened a bit. "How did he take it?"
"He's open to it," Lovestruck told her. "But he's gonna need some time to get over Abalone."
"As much as I'd love to go on and on about Abby and Ammy's love troubles, I have to go train the guards." Shining kissed Cadence on the cheek. "Love you."
"Love you more!" Cadence called out as he trotted off.
"Like you could!" Shining called back as he rounded a corner.
Lovestruck smiled, her eyes shining with affection. "I love how much you two are in love."
Cadence sighed a bit dreamily. "So do I." She snapped out of her reverie as she looked at Lovestruck, then extended a wing towards the direction of the hall. "Shall we?"
"We shall," Lovestruck replied, following Cadence out of the room.
As they trotted down the hall, Cadence looked over at Lovestruck. Her mane was a spunky mess and she still had that deviant look in her eye, like she had just gotten away with a crime. Cadence worried over how Lovestruck objectified ponies and how she had trouble with empathizing, which is something that somepony with their abilities must have. Not to mention that they couldn't let their emotions get the better of them or they'd end up causing more trouble than she'd care to.
"So, tell me, Lovey," Cadence said, trying to counter her thoughts as they turned into another hallway. "Do you remember what I taught you about us? About what we're supposed to do?"
Lovestruck nodded. "'It's our job to help ponies remember love and to appreciate love, not to put it in their faces.' Like with an arguing couple that's arguing over money and they forget what the real value between them is." She frowned a bit, her eyes falling downcast.
Cadence cracked a sympathetic smile. "But you and I both know that sometimes love just isn't meant to be."
Lovestruck sighed. "Yeah, but it doesn't make it easier."
Cadence quit smiling. "Sorry... I forgot about what happened between your parents. How are they doing?"
"Alright, I guess. Mom's still harping on me for not dating anypony and Dad is trying to send me money, but you know how I feel about handouts."
Cadence arched a brow. "So the same as always?"
"Yep, same as always."
Cadence smiled and put her wing around Lovestruck. "Sometimes we forget that we have something to love. It's my job to make sure nopony forgets that love."
There was silence between them for a long moment as they continued on with their walk. Eventually, they made it to the throne room, where Lovestruck saw two crystalline thrones sitting beside each other. A throne had been made for Shining after they became the rulers for the Empire, since there had only been one beforehand.
"You said we had something to discuss this morning," Lovestruck said finally, breaking through the silence. "Would you please say what it is?"
Cadence smiled at her. Lovestruck was never one to beat around the bush. She stopped walking so that she could turn towards her completely. "Do you remember why I chose you to be my apprentice?"
Lovestruck blinked in surprise. "Uh, yeah. I mean, yes. You saw me on the bench that day watching Fruity and Joy talk to each other."
"One of the few times I have ever seen you sit still for so long," Cadence said with a smile. "Other times, you try to intervene, but that day, you sat and watched."
"Well, I didn't know what to do. I mean, I couldn't just walk up and say, 'Hey, you two look cute together! Why don't y'all date?'"
Cadence giggled at Lovestruck. "Well, if I remember correctly, you told me afterwards that you had tried to help Joy with her marriage beforehoof, am I right?"
Lovestruck blushed. "OK, so maybe I did a little meddling, but I didn't do anything after that! I figured things would be better if I kept my horn out of it unless things got bad."
"Because we both know how dangerous love magic can be when used improperly." Cadence frowned a bit, the thought troubling her for a small moment before she smiled again. "But, you've come such a long way from then. You've learned so much from the years we've known each other and I am so proud of you for it."
Lovestruck blushed even harder. "Well, I want to be good at what I do. I mean, I don't wanna waste what I have."
Cadence smiled at her. "You know about Twilight, right?"
Lovestruck seemed to be a bit bothered by the subject change, but answered nonetheless. "She was Princess Celestia's protege and now she's a Princess because she revised one of Starswirl the Bearded's spells." Lovestruck arched a brow. "What about her?"
Cadence nodded, smiling all the while. "You know, you remind me of her, in a sense."
"I do?" Lovestrucked blurted out, her eyes widening.
Cadence giggled. "Don't be so shy. I know how strong your abilities are." She smiled at her. "And when I was writing to Twilight the other day, she told me all about how she and her friends were chronicling their adventures in Ponyville and the lessons they learned while they did."
"You mean the other Elements?" Lovestruck asked, her interest piqued. Cadence knew how interested Lovestruck was in the Elements of Harmony.
"Yes, the other Elements." She smiled. "And then I remembered how they wrote letters to Auntie Tia whenever they learned a lesson about friendship."
Lovestruck nodded. "Yeah, I remember hearing Celestia read them to us whenever you asked about her. It's kinda weird knowing that she's still learning about friendship when she's already learned so much."
Cadence laughed. "She and her friends are still learning about the ways of friendship, which only makes the bond between them all so special." She put on a more serious face. "And that's when I realized just what Auntie was doing by sending Twilight to Ponyville to learn about friendship."
Lovestruck leaned her head to the side a bit, confused by where Cadence was taking the conversation. There was no going back now, Cadence soon saw. She had to say it.
"Lovestruck, what I'm trying to say is..." Cadence took a deep breath. "I want you to do the same thing."
Lovestruck blinked in surprise. "What?"
"I want for you to do what Twilight did," Cadence told her again. Repeating it didn't make it easier. "I want you to travel to wherever you think you need to be, and I want you to learn."
"Learn what exactly?" Lovestruck questioned. "What is there that you can't teach me?"
Cadence shook her head. She knew that Lovestruck wasn't going to be happy about what she was going to do, but it didn't make it easier to deal with. "There are many things I can't teach you to do. I can't tell you what only your experiences can tell you."
"You want me to... leave?" Lovestruck's eyes widened. "But what about you? Am I still your student? How am I supposed to tell you about my progress if I'm not here?"
Cadene blinked in surprise. "Of course you're still my student. I'm not sending you away forever if that's what you think."
"But... But what about my lessons? What about my training?" Lovestruck was on the verge of panicking at this point, Cadence could tell.
Cadence gave her a warm smile and she placed a consoling hoof on her shoulder. "I've taught you all I can. There are some things that just can't be taught by studying or reading about it. You have to live it, Lovestruck. You have to have experience."
Lovestruck swallowed a lump in her throat. "What about my magic? What if I mess up or something? What if I--"
"Hush," Cadence told her, putting a hoof to her muzzle. "I know you've had trouble with controlling your magic. But, I also know that you've come a long way since then. I've done all I can to help you to control it and now, it's up to you how you'll control it."
"But--"
Cadence shushed her again. "Don't worry about if you mess up or not. Just worry about what you'll take from it. Mistakes are only mistakes if we get nothing good from it."
"I... I don't know, Cadence," Lovestruck admitted, her eyes shining. "And I don't even know where to go."
Cadence took her hoof down from her shoulder and put it on Lovestruck's heart. "You don't have to. Just listen to your heart and you'll know."
Lovestruck frowned at her and she wiped her eyes. "Don't you dare get sappy on me."
Cadence laughed as she put her hoof down. "I'm just saying you have to go where your instincts tell you to go."
Lovestruck sighed. "So, what, you want me to get a map and throw a dart at it or something?"
Cadence's eyes widened. "I think you and I both know how bad it would be for you to get your hooves on anymore darts."
"Good point," Lovestruck said. She pondered for a moment. "But how am I supposed to know where to go?"
Cadence smiled and pulled her into a hug. "Baby steps, Lovey." She looked out to the balcony, where she saw the Crystal Empire before her. "Baby steps."
I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE! Wow, that didn't take very long, did it? And wow, this prologue is way longer than I originally intended for it to be! If you're wondering why this story seems different now, then refer to this blog post I made.
We're back in business, baby!
Edit: This has been revised as of 8/29/15.
Stats
Page generated in 0.027 seconds
Total duration
1,063 users online
1,658,280 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
It loves again in glorious rebirth! Love the new prolog.
Yay! It's back!
I never read the original, but after seeing the blog post, I figured I had to read the new edition. I enjoy it, quite a bit at this point.
The new adventures of bubblegum Twilight
Why cut the bit with the guards?
5659865
Because, I was really uncomfortable with how I made Lovey act. That wasn't cool, and I don't like the whole "love magic is seriously screwed up" thing, mostly because I think love magic is only catastrophic in different instances due to misuse or intent. I have a whole plethora of theories revolving around it, but that's not important right now.
I.... I think I'm going to like this more than the last one.
"This story has revoked submission and has been submitted"
I think you mean REsubmitted.
Romanticism usually refers to late-18th to early-20th century literature and music or the latin-descended languages. Romance in the love sense is only a small subset of romanticism. The study of love is erotology, though that word refers primarily to physical aspects rather than emotional and social aspects.
The legendary Yamato is quite romanticized, but I don't see many folks falling in love with her. Phallic gunbarrels notwithstanding.
(I hope they release a DVD of the concert)
So far, so similar. Lets see where this goes.
Why would it be bad if she got darts?
5665683
There used to be guards willing to use their time off to play a nice game of darts with Lovestruck.
They are no longer with us.
5693507 ...how can she be that bad? She has a bow as a cutie mark? /sarcasm
I'm going to enjoy this. Thanks for bringing it back. The reboot is something I was waiting for since you said you were making one.
Go Lovey!! Woo!
Listening to an 'obsessive girlfriend' song whilst reading this line. What a coincidence!
I like the new re-write. She still has her sarcasm, but her character seems more likeable here.
Okay, I can still read this with my two jam songs.. That's good,
When I first saw it was redone, I was pretty sad at the lost content, but after rereading this first chapter I still find it enjoyable, hope is still alive
Should be 'he'
5694459
I doubt "no longer with us" in this context means dead. I'm going to guess the couple of guards were a mare and a stallion, Lovestruck accidentally charged the darts with love magic, tagged them both, shenanigans happened, the mare got pregnant, dropped out of the guard, the stallion dropped out to be with her and take care of her, and Lovestruck was forever banned from playing with sharp projectiles.
I feel like Cadence should be saying something more profound to Lovestruck, along the lines of it being no good for her to not be who she is or something. Just encouragig her to play around with other ponies feelings or some such seems callous and dense as though Cadence doesn't know what she herself is doing with a student. Twilight Sparkle had presumably already studied regular magic significantly and therefore ought to know what she could and couldn't handle and what she shouldn't do. Obviously, canon-wise, her use of the 'want-it, need-it' spell was rather inappropriate, but still...
----
Perhaps she can be argued to have already, but the prologue is kind of choppy and jumps around. It gives the impression that Cadence and Lovestruck talked a few times and then she just sent Lovestruck out on her merry way. They could've have a quite serious talk about the incident she was observing. I'm kind of curious about what the story is supposed to be about, because if it's mostly about Lovestruck, then I think it really could use a longer introduction/beginning rather than a quick cut to a specific series of events. I could say the same about the TV show, but I digress.
P.S.
I hope this attempt does more of a toning down of over emphasized attributes and not a total character rewrite. I kind of liked 'version 1' even if it did have some iffy spots.