The feeling of hot air assaulted my senses as I seem to walk into an oven and I quickly raised my hood to fend off the uncomfortable temperatures. Discord made a gesture with his paw fanning himself and a fan appeared.
"Well don't have to worry about catching a cold here." He mocked. I ignored him but he seemed fairly quieted given the setting.
"Not a fan of Hades?" I say pointedly.
"No self respecting pony would like to be here..." He said sipping a cup of water.
"Oh its not all bad when you get use to it." A third voice said smoothly. I turned to see Fire Pleasure smiling at the most oddest pair, death and the god of chaos just walking into hades.
"So that's what it feels like being the drop on you." Discord said smirking. Fire Pleasure walked over to us. I have to admire his seemingly without a care in the world way he made everything attitude, what with war looming and souls missing.
"Celestia sent us to help with the investigation." I said getting to the point. His stoic face looked slightly annoyed.
"We have it under control." He said assured.
"I'm sure, but its a matter of making sure." I said quickly. Fire was giving me the same political runaround I had dealt with my entire career as a lawyer and I was good at that game.
"This way." He said as he began to lead us. It was quiet for a moment before moans and screams of the tourchered began to echo off the walls. My skin crawled as it was going on but unlike I was being lead to the castle last time I was being lead into the fields of pain themselves. A new fear gripped me as we ascended the steps.
"So Fire Pleasure does you name benefit your job? Or are you just a simple pyro." He said jokingly. Fire looked over his shoulder and I swear to this day a gleam of joy flickered in his ember red eyes as he said.
"I got my name and cutie mark for slowly burning a soul of a young mare, she had murdered 37 stallions by luring them with sensual pleasures....and I used fire to show my.....pleasure." He chuckled. Both me and Discord stopped and looked at each other just shocked and quickly caught up to him but I kept my distance.
They arrived at a station that was warped and demonic in nature. The train engine was if anything alive. It had a single slitted eye where a headlamp would usually be and it looked at me giving me pause for my mind to catch up and tell me I am indeed in Hades. Fire Pleasure walked up behind a normal looking earth pony but both her coat and mane was dark as a moonless night. Around her sparks of purple spots that seem to pop up out of nowhere and disappear just as quickly.
"Endie, this is Death" Fire Dancer introduced. Endie turned towards me and her eyes were a light purple but her irises were a deeper shade as she looked at me. The only other thing I could say was she wore a black scarf....now I don't know why she would wear a scarf in Hades, what mares do for fashion even in Hades.
"Charmed, but why is he here?" She said, right I look like a guy I am suddenly reminded.
"She...is here to help with the investigation." Fire explained. To this she frowned at me obviously unhappy.
"I don't need help. But if they must be here the train is here and it has sent been interfered with since the crime." She said looking over her clip board. I looked at the train and automatically was taken back at how long it was. But then something odd happened my eyes keened on the 76th car where a small bit of residual darkness was clipped. I began to walk without bothering them. Discord smiled at me and looked at the spot as I stopped.
"Looks an awful lot like that darkness you mentioned." He said making a eyeglass and inspecting it as if he was sherlock hooves.
Fire pleasure and Endie looked at me.
"It seems you had the same problem I did but this time they got the souls they were after." I said.
"I can track this back to its source." Discord said sounding serious for the first time.
"Really?" I asked surprised.
"If it wasn't for your keen eyes I don't think we could have found this key piece of evidence." Endie said slightly impressed. It wasn't my eyes...it was the robe just want else can this robe do I wondered.
Discord snapped his claws and then a clear box appeared in his claw. He picked up the scrap of blackness which seemed to come alive at his touch and placed it in the box closing it. A thread of white smoke materialized give a direction down the tracks.
"Anypony want to stop me from walking into the unknown against Celestia knows what." I offer. Of course nopony said anything.
"I have to report this back to Lucifer." Endie said looking at Fire Pleasure.
"You have this?" She asked him.
"Naturally." He said smugly, Endie scoffed at him and vanished in a puff I'd purple sparks. Fire Pleasure stepped forward toward Discord and myself who looked at each other.
"I'll accompany you." He said.
"The more the merrier right?" I said but I knew he was my foalsitter made to keep tabs on me it annoyed me but he was known by Apple Scroll and I trusted her judge of character.
"Alright let's do this." I said as I lifted my scythe and begin down the track into the unknown with a god of chaos and a Demon.
If you're still looking for OCs, PM me and I'll tell you about mine. Also, as previously mentioned by many others: check grammar and get an editor. Please?
So far so good, all caught up and it took only 20 min! So in other words, wright! Wright as much and as fast as you can!
Endie is an endermare?
There were a few lines that didn't make sense, like, "it was the robe just want else can this robe do I wondered."
5449377 It's my OC
Anyways, loved this chapter pinkiehappy:
5449552 How long did you think it'd take for someone to realise she was a minecraftian pony?
5449562 0.1 seconds But I wuv my OC to death
5449570 And I love all three of my OCs.
5449596
5449611 What's your opinion on alicorn OCs?
5449683 I think they're really... er... Overpowered and, well, just... plain dumb
5449745 Including ones that have a purpose never even approached and rather significant weaknesses?
5449777 im just glad my description made you understand what she looked like. But an Oc is an OC and my opinion of alicon OCS is as long as the are not perfect and have good character traits with flaws they are alright in my book.
so there was death, a demon and a god of chaos on a train, it feels like the begining of a joke. good story i like it.
5449949 If I gave you a link, could you let me know what you think of mine?
5452101 sure thing I'll help anypony that asks
5452452 http://rikusorasephiroth.deviantart.com/#/art/Invention-354941373?hf=1
He started out as a ponification of a play on words that I did for fun, but I started to get right into making him properly, so now he's my secondary OC.
5452452 My main OC, despite appearances is NOT black. It's just insanely difficult to get the right tone of grey.
5452593 he's interesting but why do you want my opinion. Do you want me to incorporate him in my story is what your asking?
5452647 As swell as that would be, no. I'm trying to get as many opinions before I incorporate him into my fic.
I know I'm bound to lose people just for having him in it, but I just want to make sure that those who don't hate him just for being an A OC won't leave for him being OP or pointless.
5452647 Also, I thought you'd be good to ask, because you've approached an already divisive subject of having a Death-pony.
5449777 Yes
5457109
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2318355/1/Make-A-Wish
5455209 you know, I probably will. It's so hard to find one that's over 100,000 words ;-;
I don't want to nag but...
yea something seems wrong here...