Death, Convict, and Demons
The energy in the room was so thick you could cut it with my scythe. I saw the group of ponies granite faced as the stared into the eyes of Berry Green. Walking through the wall I got a better look at the pony who I was about to end. Clean shaven, lime green coat with a blue chopped mane. He seemed to be calm. Then the police stallion raised a clipboard and quickly flicked a switch letting the speakers in the room hum as he began to speak.
"Berry Green you are sentenced to death for the six counts of kidnapping, molestation, and murder of Nadi Leaf, age 16, Carrot Mash, age 14, Venus Drop, age 14, Grape Juice, age 13, Flick Care, age 12, and Wing Whip, age 10. Oh all counts you pleaded innocent but were proven guilty in the court of law. How do you plead now?" He asked, his loathing obvious as the families of the deceased looked at him through the window with eyes of anger mixed with despair at the sight of their children's murderer. I was slightly horrified but not as much as I would guess some other ponies were. I had dealt with ponies like this before. It was rare but I usually had more wealthy customers. I frowned at how calm he was. Something flared in me as he simply smiled.
"You're killing an innocent pony I have never done anything wrong." He said simply. Two stallions yelled angrily in protest as this he chuckled coldly. I looked at him more closely now. Images of several young fillies staring into my eyes with fear and horror as I maliciously damage them. I shook my head as my body shuddered. He was evil...I stepped in between him and the glass as I wanted him to see me in all my deathly presence. Maybe it was those who lived closer to death who could see me but this pony did not. I growled in disappointment.
"Since you have nothing important to say," the police stallion said as he lifted his hoof, placing it on the switch, "May Celestia forgive you for your sins...we all know we can't." he said as he flipped the switch.
I would like to say that watching the body get 50,000 volts of electricity pumped through it is not a pleasing sight or smell. His calm demeanor and smug look of satisfaction vanished, replaced by bulging eyes, convulsing, and clenched teeth as he foamed at the mouth. He lasted only 12.3 seconds as I lifted my scythe, placing it on his forehead. I pulled his soul away and it landed beside me, he blinked and looked at himself.
"Oh would you look at that. Well it was fun while it lasted," he looked up at me and smiled as his ghostly body began to morph into something demonic. He began to chuckle as I stepped back, not knowing what to do. Then a thought occurred to me. The book! Quickly I lifted the book and opened it and it seemingly went to the page of info I wanted automatically.
"Ghostly demonic transformation. If you find yourself to be in to company of a murderer/convict/ or other very uncouth fellow they may begin to transform after you have reaped them. Now try to stay calm and just wait for the clean up crew. In the meantime enjoy these illustrations of the manifestations of different GDT. (Ghostly Demonic Transformations)" I frowned at looked up at him as he looked up at me deadpanned.
"So the grim pony is real. I bet you must like me, it’s ponies like me that keep your business running." He chuckled. I frowned.
"I have enough business without butt jobs like you." I cursed. He cocked his head in question as he began to step towards me. Every fiber of me wanted to step back but that's what he would want.
"I wonder if I could kill death?" He asked questioningly, I felt my heart race but I calmed myself.
"I would..." Before I could continue, time in the room seemed to stop and the heat increased dramatically. I looked around in confusion as did he. Two crevasses opened up suddenly on either side of Berry Green.
"Wha-what's going on?" His voice was shrill and full of newly found panic.
"The clean up crew?" I asked myself out loud. He looked up at me and two large stallions who were as big as Celestia roared as they escaped their fiery crevasses. They looked down at Berry whose ears had flattened against his head as he cowered between the two. The one on the left stamped on the ground startling me and making berry run he didn't care where but he was trying to get away. The one stallion looked to the other and smiled as the other replied in kind. With a stomp of his hoof the stallion on the right had called twin chains out of the ground, they raced towards him and caught him by the back legs. They latched like coiling snakes, not letting go. With a second stomp spikes protruded out and stabbed his legs, making him scream out in pain. He was dragged slowly towards the flaming hole and soon he was swallowed up and silenced as the floor closed up over him.
I stood there jaw hanging and without words. A simple thought occurred to me. That could have been me. The two demon stallions turned their attention to me, I recovered quickly and lifted my scythe in warning. The stallion on the right hissed aggressively at me as he dove into the ground, disappearing. The other one, though, smiled coyly.
"You’re the new death...how cute," his voice was smooth and yet stern. I felt myself blush only for a moment and thanked Celestia for a black hood that hid all my emotions.
"You’re done it’s time for you to leave," I said in the sternest voice I could muster. He raised his eyebrow.
"I would, but I've been asked if I can get you to visit with or... well, visit is not the best term. Lucifer has asked for an audience with you and I am to escort you through Hades safely," he said very matter of factly. Can I do that?
"I'm afraid I am busy at the moment," I said, placing my scythe on the floor firmly making a thud. He flinched, I don't know why, but he took a deep breath in and sighed.
I walked over to a door, unlocked it and saw Apple Scroll looked up to see the demon pony. She smiled and waved then he waved back. I looked at her.
"Who is he?" I asked. Apple Scroll chuckled.
"Fire Pleasure," he interjected, I looked over my shoulder pulling back my hood. Looking at him half lidded. Apple Scroll chuckled
"He's like you only for Hades. He collects the evil or bad souls from this plane and takes them back. You will bump into him every now and then," she explained.
"Then who crosses the good ones over?" I asked, ignoring Fire Pleasure.
"Oh, well you do," she said. I guessed that made me like an angel but I would keep that to myself.
"I can't go to see Lucifer right now. I'm much too busy," I said beginning to look at my scroll again.
"You can go, there are no pressing deaths at the moment. Besides its good to meet your coworkers," Apple Scroll said. Fire Pleasure smiled triumphantly.
Truth be told I didn't want to go to Hades, I’d avoid it as all costs if I could, but it seemed unavoidable. I replaced my hood and turned towards him and approached him as he stomped the floor making, it break open. A staircase formed going down into the glowing depths. He began to walk and I looked back at Apple Scroll who waved and the door closed by itself, leaving me alone with the demon.
The walk was uneventful simple stone walls and the sound of our hooves striking the stone. He turned to me.
"So you're a mare," he began. Truth be told I didn't want to engage him in conversation.
“Yes I seem to be.” I said but my voice sounded hollow as it it didn't belong to me.. I only guessed it was another gift granted by the robe.
“You know, its funny because most of the time the grim reaper is male.” he said smirking. I simply didn’t answer.
“Not that there is anything wrong with a mare being death. I think it suits you really.” he chuckled. I glared at him and hoped he could understand I was angry with that last comment but he seemed unfazed but he seemed to get the hint. I began to feel the heat in the tunnel rise as the light began to grow in intensity. We proceeded under an arch and the landscape that unfolded before me was both breathtaking and terrifying. The screams of ponies being tortured for sins unknown to me.The bile in my throat began to rise as i saw one demon began to cut into a pony who was strapped down. I looked away as I heard a cry in pain. Fire Pleasure looked down at me and smiled cruelly.
“What a sight eh? hes being tortured for Murder of three and the molestation of one.” he explained. It made me feel a little better but still sick. We rounded a stone pillar and a large stone fortress with flying buttresses dominated my vision. Proceeding to the front gate two imposing guards looked at her and shifted uneasily as they opened the doors. Walking into the castle i was shown somthing i did not expect. Sure one would assume that the inside of the castle of Lucifer would have skeletons of ponies, rotting corpses, and ponies being tortured. But it was completely the opposite, ponies walked too and fro with papers in in hoof ponies taking calls. It looked like a legitimate business. Which Iam sorry to admit I was impressed with. Fire Pleasure got some looks from the mares that were swoons and smiles. He simply smiled back with a kindly wave. Walking up to the office door that was labeled Lucifer C.E.O. Fire was about to open the door but stopped short as a loud booming voice could be heard from the other side.
“WHAT do you mean the shipment isn't there! I ordered those souls moved over to the pain fields! How do they just DISAPPEAR.” the voice paused for a moment.
“Oh you better hope you find them or else You will be a member of those tourchered souls!” there was a loud slam of him hanging up. Fire knocked on the door.
“WHAT!” came a angry roar.
“Sir its Fire, here with Death.” he said cautiously, there was a pause.
“Come in.” He ordered. Fire proceeded through first followed by me. Now I should say that when I was a filly and I first heard of the name Lucifer, it conjured up images of a scary dangerous and evil stallion like nightmare moon only burning red with fangs, horns, smoke, pain, damnation but... what I saw. Sitting behind an oak desk was a black coated stallion with a flowing mane that mimicked the flow of fire. I had only seen Celestia and Luna from afar but their manes moved as if alive with magic. His was very similar only his horn was long and his wings were like a bats. He was an alicorn and he looked at me. Oh my Celestia his eyes….they were red a rubies, his smile seemed forced but i felt my heart leap into my throat.
“Sorry you had to hear that...im having some trouble around here.” He nodded to Fire dismissing him. Fire nodded curtly and left closing the door. Ok i was now alone with an amazingly attractive owner of Hades.
“Grape Vine. I had a good line up for you.” he said looking at a file. All my feelings of attraction were dampened. I nodded and pulled back my hood.
“Nice to meet you to Lucifer.” I said. He chuckled and sighed
“Celestia has allowed me to greet you. It is not often we will meet one another. But i have a favor to ask while you're on the job. there has been a slight disturbance here in Hades souls have been disappearing and i am worried about the effect it may have. So while you are on the job keep your eyes peeled for anything odd.” he said standing up walking towards me. his height towered over me. What else could I do I nodded.
“Good. You may go now. i think Celestia also wishes to speak with you about the same thing. I think your next soul is needed to be collected and its a big order it seems.” he said smiling slightly. I looked more at him He had bags under his beautiful eyes as well as he looked fatigued.
“You look like you could use some rest.” I blurted out and realized too late at what I had said. he raised his eyebrow and smiled.
“You are a nice mare to be sure but my job has so much to be done. I...unlike Celestia have a very busy job.” he said with a hint of cynicism. I nodded and went to his door lifting the key and then looking at the scroll.
‘Veza Nwe, 34, Starvation, Bre Nwe, 13, Starvation, Maza Nwe, 10 Starvation.” I looked again at it and frowned ‘how does anypony die of starvation.’ I thought. Putting my key into the door i opened it and found myself walking into a dark lit town were bug like creatures laid about tired and famished. My eyes became pinpricks. These are Changelings.
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I like this series it is interesting you sir get 9 out of 10 rainbow dash licks
use them wisely mortal
I really like this story. This chapter is pretty well written, but I noticed you spelled tortured, "torchered" in several places. All in all, it's still a good chapter.
4758528 lol thank you for liking it and well I only had it in two places thank you for pointing them out.
4758551
Oops my mistake, I must have only noticed the two and thought that the rest were misspelled. Sorry about that.
Another enjoyable chapter! I would just like to point out a consistent grammatical mistake you make that's still present in the unedited part of the chapter near the end - full stops instead of commas in speech.
When you end speech, unless it's at the end of a sentence or you're using an exclamation point or question mark, etc, you need to end it with a comma, so for example:
“You look like you could use some rest.” I blurted out
“You look like you could use some rest,” I blurted out
Apart from that, and a few small spelling mistakes, the rest of the chapter is fine!
Hmmm I wonder how my OC would die.
I guess he doesn't since he's part phoenix shit. Maybe he has to kill himself in order to talk to Grape Vine XD.
It would be like a laggy skype call.
4759267 hahaha well pm me and we can talk
It's spelled 'tortured'.
Again, it's spelled 'tortured'.
Why is the 'Y' in "You" capitalized?
This "its" should be 'it's'. Not with the ' marks on both sides though. Just between the it and s.
Capitalize the "i".
Capitalize the "i".
Capitalize the "t" in "there" and capitalize the "i" before "am worried".
Capitalize the "i".
Capitalize the "i". There are still some more in the beginning, so I'll make another comment on those, but if you have an editor currently I suggest getting a new one. If you don't have one, I suggest getting one. But overall the chapter was good and I can't wait to see where the story goes.
Capitalize the "i".
The "im" should be 'I'm'. The 'i' is capitalized and there is a ' between the 'i' and 'm'.
Capitalize the "i". I think that should be all the errors, but you may want to go back and check.
If you're looking for ideas what about one of the cases Grapevine brought up, maybe one of the innocents she put away is on the brink of death due to Grapevine's actions?
4766198 sorry it seems to distracting but I'll get on that then. But then again I hoped you enjoyed the story behind it.
I have a very intricate idea for an OC of mine. Her name is Technia, and she is obsessed with technology. If possible, I'd like to see her in a fight against Vine. Good soul, but a bit nuts. I can provide more info via PM.
4768326 interesting please pm me at your leisure.
“Oh you better hope you find them or else you will be a member of those tortured souls!”
The "Y" in "you" had no purpose being capitalized"
Should I PM you an OC to reap?