It's well written so far and the word count is really good.

But it's not really original and the various tags and settings are not engaging at all for me.

You have the usual " normal " teenager without friends, dropped directly in Equestria, without giving a fuck about what is happening to him, gifted with the usual cluster-fuck of new abilities, the usual landing in the Everfree, the usual meeting with all the main characters right from the start, the usual romance tag. And I'm certain it's just going to be a rewrite of the show with the MC inserted into every single episode without a lick of originality.

I really can't see how this is going to work. You wrote your character as an unsocial wallflower, so him becoming friends with the Mane 6 (who are a completely different species from him) is going to be virtually impossible for this guy, and even then, he's not interesting in the slightest (or realistic). He's completely nonchalant about seeing mythical creatures before him, and his reaction to his transformation makes him sound more annoyed if anything, as if such a horrible mutation warrants making snarky quips about it. I literally read this entire part of the story as Lumpy Space Princess, and it sounded just right.

I don't know what it is about FIMFiction's standards for quality that are starting to slip into Fanfiction.net levels of just a complete absence of it, but don't let those upvotes fool you (especially since they explain nothing about what they actually find "good" with your story). At least know that we have spotted your errors and can still fix them. Give your character a personality (namely one that's interesting), add some real conflict, and do not make this a "me in the actual show" story; actually try and create an original story.

4480547

I literally read this entire part of the story as Lumpy Space Princess, and it sounded just right.

media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/a8/e4/34/a8e4343fbaaa3aeb404d131db2ede6f4.jpg

I thank everyone for there own input about this. I will try to look over my story, and attempt to implement some of the suggestions I've heard. I can't promise, however, that it will be finished rather soon. Then again, it's usually unwise to rush "perfection". Not that I'm expecting that... =~='

Thanks again, though, and keep the suggestions coming!

This story seems to be starting off well~

If anything, I'd take in some of the suggestions by the other commenters to try and give the MC more character to him? Otherwise I look forward to seeing more. Even if the first chapter or two is shaky, there's always room to improve as you go along

May I just state that the comments section is too be used for comments regarding this story alone, please.

Thank you.

4485157 Oh, dude. Oh, man. Big mistake there. Deleted comments are the bane of any story. Especially since someone went and added you to the Deleted and Blocked club, and even more because one of the people you deleted a comment for was RainbowBob, one of the site's most known authors.

This may have no backlash, or it may cause this story to be the house of the next Cameron's Story level fiasco, or anywhere in between. Deleting comments kinda rolls the dice for that sort of thing. I hope for you that you don't get a shitstorm, even though that would be hilarious to watch.

You are probably reading this and saying, "Well, Shiny G, these comments were not related to the story so I deleted them. That's reasonable, right?" Well, it probably was, but no-one looking through the comments cares about that. They see deleted comments and you making a comment about deleting them and they brand you as a comment deleter. Honestly, the better thing to do would have been to reply to all the comments with what you said, and deleting further comments if they didn't stop. Then you would have proof and it wouldn't seem like a twitch reaction from you.

Also, I read those comments. They did relate to your story, dude. Suck it up and learn to take criticism from all forms, positive and negative. Either that, or continue with your walk down Deleted and Blocked lane, I'll just be over here with popcorn. Whatever you do, good luck.

Cheers.

Ohhh, my. Comment deletion, I see. Yeah, that's a big no-no, my friend. Don't do it. If you want reasons why, then have a look at this. And this too, while you're at it. Let's just say that people will shift their focus from the story to you if that kind of behavior carries on, and you'll only have more problems from then on. Just a fair warning.

You deleted a comment... by RainbowBob, no less...

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As I once again delved into,
The comment section of this fic,
I rubbed my eyes in disbelief,
But no, it weren't a trick.

My comment has been deleted,
My hopes and dreams are crushed,
My attempt to help defeated,
Because the author tried to rush.

Please Author, I beg of you,
Do not commit the vice,
You'll quickly find yourself in pooh,
And frankly, it isn't nice.

>Inb4 delete

,

Comment posted by Mothey deleted at 8:21am on the 2nd of June, 2014

Comment posted by Typewriterpony deleted at 8:21am on the 2nd of June, 2014

Comment posted by Dropbear271 deleted at 8:21am on the 2nd of June, 2014

Comment posted by RainbowBob deleted at 6:48pm on the 1st of June, 2014

you're in for a ride

Too all the users who's comments I deleted, I am truly sorry... Please over-look the fact that I am new to all of this, and still need to learn how things work here. If I knew that deleting comments was seen as such a horrible thing, I assure you I wouldn't have done it. I'll be far more careful from here on out.

4485157

...Would it be unwise of me to delete this rather unmindful comment of mine?

4488879

Right! Right... Sorry. >.<'

4486774 4487647 4487726 4488707

Excuse me for my uncouth reaction, but I simply must state my mind.

*clears throat*

Excluding the few guys who actually contributed some actual feedback to this fic... you are all a bunch of morons wasting the bandwidth on this site.

I'd understand your outrage if the comments deleted were of any actual value, but as it is (was?), RainbowBob's reply had been anything but relevant, and the next three were simple one-liners moaning about the deletion of a comment of their fucking deity, as if it were some sacrilege and crime against humanity at least. No value was lost there

And to you, author... shame on you for not standing up to idiocy and not having the spine to stand by your words with dignity

Thank you all for your attention

4490168

You know thw funny thing? Deleting the comments is possibly the worst thing the author could have done, aside from making personal youtube videos attacking individual commenters.

Excluding the first few guys who actually contributed some actual feedback to this fic... you are all a bunch of morons wasting the bandwidth on this site.

s2.quickmeme.com/img/84/8491c398f13707437cbb08acc49aa4c08e60282674955af34cacf7edc689dc7e.jpg

So pray tell, have you not done the exact same thing by posting your soapboxing that doesn't even adress the comment deletion issue? You have actually done less than the people you're whining at.

It's truly hilarious, please do continue.

4490184

So pray tell, have you not done the exact same thing by posting your soapboxing that doesn't even adress the comment deletion issue?

I see no issue in deleting comments irrelevant and useless to the story. And no, I haven't moaned about a non-existing slight committed by the author.

You have actually done less than the people you're whining at.

Oh? So pointing out the fallacy of others is considered lesser than actually making that fallacy? Interesting

4490222

Oh, oh my...

You're so caught up in your own moral superiority that you can't see the rampant hypocrisy in your own comments.

It's truly golden.

I see no issue in deleting comments irrelevant and useless to the story. And no, I haven't moaned about a non-existing slight committed by the author.

Maybe, but you have:

1. Bitched about people telling the author that deleting comments makes him look bad and that it will effect his reputation (something that is true and helpful).

2. Complained that the author:

And to you, author... shame on you for not standing up to idiocy and not having the spine to stand by your words with dignity

You know, because this is totally helpful advice.

Oh? So pointing out the fallacy of others is considered lesser than actually making that fallacy? Interesting

These comments that were made before your mini, self-serving crusade are not fallacies, as they posted to help the author. I find your lack of understanding of this simple concept disturbing. And then you attack the author for acknowlaging that he made a mistake.

Nice job.

To sum up, please, do continue. Your egotistical flailing is far more entertaining than the fic itself. It's just comedy gold.

moonbattery.com/hypocrisy-meter.jpg

4490168
We don't know if the author actually deleted comments having no relevancy whatsoever, which is why comment deleting is a bad thing. The best course of action would be to explain to the user that he would prefer if comments stayed on-topic. Deleted comments make a bad impression on the author, so avoiding deleting comments would be beneficial to the author, as well as us.

4490168
4490222
This.

4490237

1. Bitched about people telling the author that deleting comments makes him look bad and that it will effect his reputation (something that is true and helpful).

I must agree with you that deleting comments with actual helpful content is a despicable act worthy of contempt. But saying that deleting trash is bad and tarnishes one's reputation is just baffling to me.

And then you attack the author for acknowlaging that he made a mistake.

In my opinion the author hadn't made a mistake in the first place; what you call "acknowlaging that he made a mistake" I see simply as giving in to the pressure.

4490263

In retrospect, I fully agree that the author could have taken a better course of action here and give a warning before deleting that first comment (which doesn't mean the other three weren't trash).

But let's be honest...

The conflict here doesn't stem from the author deleting a comment. If the author was sensitive to criticism, then most of the comments would have been deleted--the guys that provided feedback before the first deleted comment, and the rage review after that, weren't really full of praise.

No, it had escalated because RainbowBob's comment was deleted OH MY GOD SACRILEGE!

(And before someone starts assuming things: I have nothing against Bob--I even enjoyed some of his stories)

4490279

But saying that deleting trash is bad and tarnishes one's reputation is just baffling to me.

No matter what your opinion on it is, deleting comments gets you in hot water on this site.

Period.

Despite your opinions on if it's right or wrong, the fact of the matter is that it will hurt the author's reputation, hence the comments telling him that it hurts his reputation.

I mean, how can I explain it any simpler?

And to you, author... shame on you for not standing up to idiocy and not having the spine to stand by your words with dignity

In my opinion the author hadn't made a mistake in the first place; what you call "acknowlaging that he made a mistake" I see simply as giving in to the pressure.

So you insult them and that makes it better? That's worse than what the people you were 'calling out' were doing. I mean really, if 'trash' comments are getting on your goat so much, then stop making more of them, which results in me making more.

EDIT: last comment was deleted by me.

4490350

Despite your opinions on if it's right or wrong, the fact of the matter is that it will hurt the author's reputation, hence the comments telling him that it hurts his reputation.

And I understand your point. I really do! But it doesn't mean I find it any less baffling.

Imagine this... imagine if the first deleted comment was made by some non-widely known user (say, some unassuming and hypocritical GloomyFace). What would happen then?

Answer: this discussion would not have taken place at all. The people would have assumed that it was some disgusting spam, and proceeded with their normal daily lives. Moreover, a certain three acolytes would not moan that the holy word of their beloved lord and saviour was silenced by the repulsive, censorship-enforcing author! And finally, one certain unassuming and hypocritical man would not have so much fun taking his part in the ensuing trainwreck of a discussion

Have a good day

4490414

Imagine this... imagine if the first deleted comment was made by some non-widely known user (say, some unassuming and hypocritical GloomyFace). What would happen then?
Answer: this discussion would not have taken place at all.

Not really, the issue would still stand. It happens on plenty of fics, hence the suggestion not to do it based on past observations.

Moreover, a certain three acolytes would not moan that the holy word of their beloved lord and saviour was silenced by the repulsive, censorship-enforcing author!

I don't care about Rainbow Bob at all, I'm a selfish arsehole. I was just commenting on the deletion and the negitive effects it would bring.

Oh, and look, what negitive effects it did bring!

I just enjoyed pointing out the flaws riddling your arguments.

Welcome to the Internet.

4490457

I just enjoyed pointing out the flaws riddling your arguments.

And I merely desired to point out that the comment deletion feature is there for a reason--to remove trash, not to tempt people to use it so they could have their reputation tarnished--and that it was not completely misused in this particular case.

4490496

Not really, you lost all credibility when you used insults in your second sentance. It made you look like a child having a hissy fit in a grocery store because mother didn't want to buy the candy bar, and opened you up as a target.

It was hilarious, white knights on a soapbox are always are a joy to... converse with.

Oh and as a parting note:

"Do not delete comments. Do not delete comments. Do not delete comments. Do not delete comments. Do not delete comments.

Have I made that clear enough? Good. "

Straight from a site post.

How to Handle Criticism

4490521

Not really, you lost all credibility when you used insults in your second sentance. It made you look like a child having a hissy fit in a grocery store because mother didn't want to buy the candy bar, and opened you up as a target.

Umm... you are really grasping at straws to get the last word here But what can I say when expressing my opinion in a partially blunt way instantly makes anything I say afterwards invalid
By the way, conducting discussion with childish people without credibility must really be a fine hobby to have

4490589

I have plenty of hobbies, passing the time with pointless arguments with people who don't accept when they are beaten is just one of them, certainly when they torpedo their own arguments.

The wonderful thing is that you ignore comments from other uses and site posts stating why you do not delete comments and just keep on providing me with entertainment.

But what can I say when expressing my opinion in a partially blunt way instantly makes anything I say afterwards invalid

Some would argue that comments expressing opinions that are not related to the story are, hang on, 'Trash', and deserve to be deleted.

It's a good thing those people are in the minority, am I right?

The story could have ended right here with a bang from his gun.

I'm pretty honest about my thoughts when I listen to these. I'll be honest, From the point he meets MN to the end of the chapter, about every three minutes, I honestly thought.

"This guy is an idiot." Literally every three minutes.

Well see if this gets better.

Monk
“There are many ways to create a monster, and the one the girl knows best is rather basic: you tell someone they're a monster over and over again, then wait to see how long it takes before they agree with you.” -Estee