Split Vs. Diamond
Ponyville’s marketplace was bustling with busy ponies looking to get whatever they needed. While this in itself wasn’t exactly an uncommon sight, almost half the population of Ponyville seemed to occupy the marketplace this afternoon, including a majority of Ms. Cheerilee’s class. A lot of them were around only because their parents dragged them on their own errands, much to their dismay.
However, this situation worked out pretty well for Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, as it gave them the perfect place to show off when school was out. And on this specific occasion, it couldn’t have worked out any better, seeing as how they had just gotten their manes and coats touched up.
“Wow, don’t our manes look soooo gorgeous today Silver Spoon?” Diamond asked the grey filly walking by her side, while at the same time remaining loud enough to make sure the other foals around heard her.
“Oh absolutely Diamond. I think you may have the best personal hairdresser in Equestria. I have to admit, I’m a little jealous.” Silver Spoon replied.
Diamond chuckled.
“That’s understandable I guess. Daddy hires only the best for his princess.” Diamond said, slightly pushing her mane to its side with an arrogant look about her.
“Still. I think it’s a shame that Split couldn’t join us. I wonder what those ‘previous arrangements’ were…probably got another creative shocker and had to get back to work.” Diamond said.
“Does that pony ever actually DO anything OTHER than experiment with ice cream?” Silver Spoon asked.
“Well…if she wasn’t doing that or hanging out with me back in Hoofington, she spent a majority of her time sitting at a table with a notebook and quill trying to think of ideas while yelling “C’MON YOU DARN IMAGINATION! WORK!!!” Diamond said, putting full emphasis on those last words.
‘…Still waiting for a legitimate reason as to why that filly isn’t in a padded room.’ Silver Spoon thought to herself.
Unfortunately, Diamond and Silver didn’t have much time to discuss this matter, as Diamond had not been looking where she was going, bumped into another pony, which caused both Diamond and the other pony to fall in a mud puddle below.
“Oh my gosh! Diamond are you alright?!” Silver Spoon asked.
Diamond held onto her head, recovering from the daze the sudden fall had put her in.
“Of course I’m not alright! Look at me! I’m covered in mud!” Diamond yelled.
Diamond got back to her hooves and looked forward at the pony whom she had run into, who she immediately recognized from her purple coat, blonde mane, and horn as one of her classmates, Dinky Hooves, who was also covered in mud from the same puddle.
And when Dinky got back up and saw just who was in front of her, she was terrified.
“Oh dear Celestia, Diamond I am so sorry! I swear that was an accident!” Dinky exclaimed, quickly apologizing in hopes that Diamond would have some mercy on her.
“Sorry didn’t do it blank flank! You did!” Diamond yelled, pushing Dinky back into the puddle with a loud splash. Dinky cowered under Diamond’s glare, and started to make quiet, whimpering sounds.
“I seriously JUST got back from my spa treatment too! Do you know how long it takes to get this mane into place?!” Diamond continued to yell to the cowering filly.
This sort of thing wasn’t anything particularly new to the rich fillies. Talking down to the less fortunate ponies gave them a sense of superiority over the other colts and fillies.
“Hmph. I guess I wouldn’t expect much better from such a loser. Really. You’re almost as big of a klutz as your mother.” Diamond huffed.
A few tears were starting to form in the corners of Dinky’s eyes, and her bottom lip started to quiver.
“Y-You can’t talk about my mom like that! Stop it!” Dinky cried.
“What for? It isn’t like anypony is going to-“
Diamond didn’t get another second to finish that sentence when she felt her tail being tugged on quite hard by somepony’s magic, and dragging her across the ground to the hooves of another pony. Diamond turned her head to see who had the nerve to do such a thing…
And she REALLY wished she hadn’t.
Standing above her was none other than Beauty Split, but she looked a LOT different than how Diamond had been used to seeing her. A few strands of her mane were out of place, her eyes were so bloodshot they may as well have been on fire, and she was breathing heavily through her nostrils.
In short terms: She was absolutely SEETHING.
“H-Hey Split. I-Is something the matter?” Diamond stuttered over her own words, giving an uncomfortable laugh.
“Oh, I think you know EXACTLY what’s wrong with me Diamond Tiara! I’m finally able to reconnect with my best friend after so long and THIS is what I find out you’ve been doing?!?!” Split screamed at the top of her lungs, pointing at the filly lying in the mud, who appeared to be a combination of scared and confused.
A small tuft of Split’s mane started to shuffle, and out of it popped the small form of Sprinkles, who added his own set of disapproving eyeballs to the barrage of looks Split was giving Diamond.
Not wanting to stay in this position any longer than necessary, Diamond scrambled to get back to her hooves and met Split’s unnerving gaze and try her best to keep up her usual, “I’m the superior one” façade.
“So what?! She totally had that coming!” Diamond defended herself.
“Oh waaaah! A little mud got on your coat. The world would just fall apart if Diamond Tiara’s precious fur gets just in the least bit dirty!...That is no excuse for this Diamond. I saw what happened here. It was an ACCIDENT!” Split shot back. Split may not have liked to get dirty herself, but she knew what Diamond had done was wrong on all accounts.
“How dare you talk to Diamond like that you psycho!” Silver Spoon yelled as she started to trot in the ponies’ direction.
“You take one more step Silver Spoon, and so help me Celestia, I will turn you into a toad on the spot.” Split growled, not taking her eyes off of Diamond.
Silver Spoon immediately backed off when Split finished that statement.
The ruckus these fillies were causing was starting to draw the attention of the many ponies in the marketplace, including many of the foals from the school.
“Hold on! I thought you were on my side here Split! Why are you defending this blank flank?!”
Just those last two words were enough to make Split flinch at look at her “friend” with a look of utter shock with her ears folded backward.
“…How…dare you?” Split whispered.
“Wha-“
“HOW DARE YOU?! DO YOU NOT REMEMBER HOW CRIPPLING THAT INSULT WAS FOR US BACK IN HOOFINGTON?! THAT SCARRED ME FOR LIFE! AND NOW YOU’RE USING IT TO MAKE FUN OF OTHER PONIES?! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!” Whatever composure Split had left had gone right out the window. The one thing Split hated more than Celestia on a hot day that made all of her precious ice cream melt, was the insult the other foals had used to poke fun at Diamond and herself in Hoofington. Just the fact that the same two words were being used in such a manner by Diamond herself just sickened her.
The look of Diamond’s face started to get angrier as Split continued her yelling.
“Why are you choosing a blank flank over your best friend?! Do you have any idea what you’re doing right now Split?!” Diamond yelled.
“Hmmm let’s see. Would you like me to start at the fact that I’m doing what’s right? Or perhaps that you have been lying to me this whole time and because of your actions nopony wants anything to do with me? Or maybe you’d like for me to point out that you JUST USED THAT SUN-FORSAKEN NAME AGAIN?!?!” Split screamed, her face only inches from Diamond, who also looked quite mad.
The peanut gallery of foals that circled around the group had begun to idly comment on the situation.
“Wait, she WASN’T going to make fun of us?”
“Dang, Diamond’s getting it bad.”
“Wow. That Split girl looks like she’s gonna freaking murder her.”
“Why does that filly have a mouse on her head?”
Unfortunately for everypony there, somepony yelled out possibly the worst thing you could possibly yell out in a time like this.
“CATFIGHT!”
And that set it off.
Split and Diamond tackled each other to the ground and started to fight. Both ponies were in a big cloud of dust obscuring most of them out of the vision of the other foals. Out of the tumbling, a very disoriented Sprinkles was thrown out of Split’s mane and he rolled across the ground and held onto his head, trying not to vomit from the dizziness.
Meanwhile in the dust-cloud, it was absolute chaos. Blows were being struck, manes were being pulled, and every name under the sun was being thrown back and forth. Both sides had their advantages. Split was a unicorn, so she had the advantage of the occasional magic blast and not to mention Split was just an absolute psycho when she was angry. However, being an Earth Pony, strength came naturally to Diamond Tiara when blows come to blows. The ponies were further egged on the entire time by the crowd of foals chanting “FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!”
Many minutes of this later, both ponies had gotten too exhausted to continue, and were simply sitting on the ground, panting and glaring at each other.
“You…had enough…yet?” Diamond said in between breaths. Split didn’t respond. Instead she got up and walked past Diamond.
Diamond was going to question what she was doing, when she saw that Split had trotted over to the teary-eyed Dinky Hooves in the mud and extended a hoof towards her.
“Are you okay Ms…?”
The purple filly looked curiously at Split’s hoof, and then back at her face. She looked like she was trying to help her, and she had just gotten into a fight with Diamond Tiara over how she was being treated.
She felt that Split could be trusted.
“…Dinky.” She said, taking Split’s hoof, which helped get her back up and out of the mud.
Split nodded and then looked back at the still-angry Diamond Tiara.
“…Consider this friendship terminated Diamond Tiara. Everything that happened here just shows me how not-sorry you are for how you’ve been acting. And I’m not going to put up with it. We’re done.” She growled before she trotted aimlessly out of Ponyville Marketplace without another word. Sprinkles scurried back into his owner’s mane, stuck his head out, and blew a raspberry at the pink filly.
“FINE! WHATEVER! I DON’T NEED YOU!” Diamond yelled at Split, who had since gained considerable distance from all the ponies.
“I…don’t…need…you.” Diamond had said again, this time being much quieter, with a few tears starting to take shape in her eyes.
Silver Spoon had stayed out of the conflict for fear that Split wasn’t bluffing when she made that toad threat, but trotted next to Diamond Tiara once the fight was over.
“You uh…you want to just get out of here?” Silver asked her crying friend.
Diamond silently nodded her head. The fillies then trotted out of the marketplace, Diamond with her head hanging low to the ground.
“…So who won?” somepony in the crowd of foals asked.
“I think it was the unicorn with the ponytail.” Somepony else responded.
Snails, who was in the crowd with everypony else, put a hoof to his face and groaned.
“Dang it!” he cried as he hoofed over a bag of bits to Snips, who was standing by his side.
Split had calmed down for the most part since she had left the marketplace, no longer fuming from blinding rage, but mostly felt a slight tinge of regret for beating up Diamond.
“I don’t know Sprinkles. I mean…did I say all the right things? Yeah I did what had to be done. But…why do I feel so bad?”
Sprinkles stuck his whiskered face out of Split’s mane and tried to answer the best he could.
Squeak Squeak!
“I know Diamond deserved it. That’s been made pretty clear. But…I can’t really explain it too well. It just…doesn’t feel good.
Squeak Squeak Squeak.
“I guess I’ll just go back home and do what I always do when I get this down…sit around the house, eat cheap ice cream, and watch old Walt Disneigh movies.” Split sighed. Normally she had standards when it came to the quality of the frozen delicacy she was eating, but when she was depressed, she was just too upset to care.
She wasn’t quite proud of it.
“I can’t help but feel bad about how things ended between me and Diamond…can you…maybe tell me a joke or something to cheer me up Sprinkles?”
Squeak Squeak?
Split remained silent after hearing Sprinkle’s latest series of squeaks.
“…WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘CAN IT BE DIRTY?!?!’” Split yelled.
Sprinkles defensively put up his paws in defense.
“…Whatever. Forget I asked…and can you please do me a favor and stop breathing down my neck?”
…Squeak Squeak.
“Well if it’s not you then wh-GAAAAH!” Split shrieked when she saw the pair of bright, cerulean eyes staring back at her from behind. The owner of said eyes was an overly happy-looking pink mare with an incredibly poofy pink mane, a bright pink coat, and three balloons on her flank, on display as her Cutie-Mark.
The pink pony started to happily bounce around Split’s still nervous form.
“Hithere!I’veneverseenyouaroundPonyvillebefore,andIknoweveryponyinPonyville,soIfiguredifIneversawyoubefore,thenyoumustbenew!Andifyournew,thenthatmustmeanthatyoudon’tknowanypony!Andifyoudon’tknowanyponythenyoumustbesooooolonely,andIthoughtthatmightbewhyyouwerelookingsosad,soIcameheretocheeryouup!” The pink pony said all in one breath.
Split and Sprinkles looked on at the mare in utter amazement and a little bit of shock. Nopony Split knew could talk that much without taking a breather.
Taking that fact into account, Split came to what should have been a logical conclusion.
“…Ma’am, I don’t know what you’re on, but I think you need to see somepony about it.” Split said.
Much to Split’s confusion, the pony giggled.
“Hehehe. You’re such a silly little filly. I don’t think I’m the one that needs help here. You were looking so sad that I just had to come over and try to cheer you up! Turning sad frowns upside down; that’s what Pinkie Pie is here to do!” Pinkie said proudly.
Split’s intelligent and mostly logical mind couldn’t quite wrap around the insanity that this reality-warping mare was giving off.
It started to give her a migraine.
“Well, Ms…Pinkie Pie…I appreciate the gesture, but I really don’t want to talk about it.” She said.
Unfortunately, Pinkie didn’t let up.
“Oh come on! Bottling up your problems isn’t good for you! It can just start to slowly build up and up and up and up until you just explode from the pent-up anxiety!...It isn’t fun. So can you let me help you? Pleeeeeaaaaase?” Pinkie pleaded, zipping in front of Split and begging on her knees.
‘…This mare isn’t going anywhere until I spill it is she?’ Split thought. She looked up to Sprinkles on her head, who also didn’t know quite what to think, as he simply shrugged his shoulders.
With a sigh of defeat, Split caved.
“Alright, fine. Here’s what happened…”
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Holy crap...
Dude. This is not gonna end well for DT 
Man, when Split said Sun-forsaken, I got to thinking about her just playing Dark Souls...
...
... SheepCity.
I swear on my counter strike related desktop background if you ever, make Split the one who is wrong in this whole story...Celestia help me.
This was kinda to be expected, unfortunately. Friends change, but not always for the better.
On a more positive note, way to go Split!
Enjoy watching this story unfold, as it updates sslloowwllyy... Hopeful that Split can talk some sense into DT, but as always, the direction the story goes is entirely your decision. Keep up the good work now!!
Okay. I totally get Split's actions on Diamond Tiara.
And DIamond Tiara's heart cracking in two when she realizes, no, she ISN'T getting everything she wants, she IS losing her friend, and her father's wealth won't fix it for her, and she's just been told all the things that have said by others to her, BY SOMEPONY WHOSE WORDS ACTUALLY MEAN SOMETHING TO HER!
But seriously, telling Silver Spoon she'd turn her into a toad? If I was in Silver Spoon's horseshoes, I'd begin taking home school just to avoid a filly who'd make a threat like that.
4797996
I think you'd be safe, so long as you didn't go and make her hopping mad.
...
I'll just let myself out.
4798100 Puns. the greatest form of humor in the English language. Yes... Just yes.
4797996 Yeaaaah...never get on Split's nerves.
i like that chapter, the Catfight was probably the best but i liked that she was defense Dinky there. I would like it if Dinky could be her new friend ans maybe something like a protégé (fosterling). You just make me wish for it right now.
PS: I start to like her mous very much, now you can´t let her be without that mouse to long anymore
That also looks like Diamond has a reason to be like this, as you mentioned she maybe is trying to feel beter because she could not handle the teasing in the past. Something like that.
Wow, I don't know what pinkie would do to Split when she tell her that she finnished a friendship.
Therapy from Pinkie Pie?
I can already see her pulling out the lay down couch now.
I'd like to see Sprinkles meet Fluttershy, just to see how accurate Split's translation is.
Also, I think there might be a good chance that DT is going to be on Pinkie's Shit List. Which probably makes Tartarus look like a safe and happy place.
4797996 I'd rip the unicorn's horn right off her head. Maybe that's why I NEVER get picked on. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
so diamond turned into the ponies who bullied her and split is pissed... neat
4810180 Sadly, it's all too plausible.
anytpony
4963250 Fixed. I can kind of see how I didn't catch that one when writing this.
Okay, I officially love Sprinkles. I mean, he's a foul-mouthed mouse who belongs to a filly with who knows how many mental disorders. They compliment each other so well. I just can't explain it, it's friggin' SPRINKLES.