Chapter 14: A Bad Little Filly
Luna's Tale
Mine was, perhaps, a difficult childhood.
No, my dearest friend, I do not say 'ours', for while my Sister has of times known pain and suffering, in any but the darkest times she has glided smoothly through life, loving all and beloved by all. You may have noticed this about her? Well, it was as true of her as a filly as it was of a mare full-grown.
What is true of us today was true of us as foals. Celly was a charming little child, winning the love of everypony with her cute little face and pink mane and gentle laughter. She even cried cutely for milk when she was hungry. Within a week all seemed to have forgotten her uncanny origins, all were enchanted by the most beautiful baby anypony had ever seen or heard.
I ... was perhaps less scary than had been Baby Dissy. I bawled loudly when I wanted food or was dirty or just cranky. I woke other Ponies up and spit and messed and generally made a nuisance of myself. I bit my mother Mimic when I was cross. Oh, exactly where thou wouldst expect me to have done so -- and yes, I was an ungrateful little foal. A little monster. Though if thou dost call me "Nightmare Lulu" I may bite thee now!
I will wait while thou regainest thy composure. Dost thou know that thou art really quite adorable even when overcome with a fit of the giggles? I shall have a stained glass window commissioned of thee like this -- ah, I see thou hast learnt the noble art of waging war with cushions! Another time, we might have quite the epic combat -- but now I must return to my tale.
My mother loved me well enough. My Sister adored me, though we quarreled often. It has perhaps been a theme of all our lives, that we love one another and yet quarrel. 'Tis engraved in the cosmic constants of our natures. Thou mightest see the signs of it in the spectra of some stars. At least in this youth it went no further than fighting over toys and clothing. Some of those stars went nova.
The others -- well, I was a foal, I do not think it would have been possible for them to have actually disliked a little foal. But they mostly did not like me much.
I can only suppose that I was not pleased by the world I had found. I had hoped for the true Paradise, the one that Pinkie strives to restore. We had wanted to enter it and this time steer it from disaster. I had wanted to atone for my part in destroying it the first time round. A hidden steading in the midst of a Dark Age had not been for what we had hoped. Celly, I think, just took it better, as she takes most things better.
No, I did not know this clearly. I had not yet Awoken, all I had were strange and troubling dreams, dreams of being a great ebon monster destroying the world, of a little pink pony hurling defiance at me from amidst the ruins, of fighting her, of slaying -- Twilight, dear one, I do not like to dwell upon this. Before I mastered dreams, I often had nightmares of my Cosmic Self. I did -- things I would now never do, not now that I have been Pony -- things I never want to do again. Never.
Not all the dreams were bad, though. Sometimes I galloped across the galaxies, could feel the lines of superstring drawing space and time together, the slow pulse of life as the central black holes drew in cosmic dust, swirled it around their event horizons and sprayed out light, the magnetic bubbles around the galaxies like the hoods of medusae swimming in the seas -- Didst thou know that the galaxies are alive? They never suspected this in the Age of Wonders, but 'tis true. The Universe is rich and strange, dear one, rich and strange beyond all imagining ...
I didn't understand those dreams either, but at least I didn't wake up screaming from them.
Even my mother liked Celly more than myself, I believe. Even I liked Celly more than myself, I am certain. That's why I could never hate her, though it perhaps made me more vicious when I fought over our toys. I am not a very nice Pony, dearest friend, though I am flattered when thou thinkest I am. All foals are little savages in their innocent young hearts, I am more civilized now, but that merely means that I have become better at cloaking my darkness.
When I was in my blackest moods, I would throw tantrums. Epic tantrums. I would cry and scream and throw things around and find some narrow hidden place with my back and flanks guarded and I would run in there and yell and bite at everypony who tried to get me out. They were adults, warriors with millennia of experience. I was a tiny little filly. But I had one huge advantage. They didn't want to hurt me, they didn't want to get bitten by me, and I was absolutely and completely violent and unreasonable. I honestly cannot tell if I were but a very difficult child or close to insane. They were uncertain as well, and the more cautious because of my uncanny origins.
When I was like this, there was only one being who could reach me. No, not my Sister -- she was usually the one who had triggered my explosion, though in truth it was rarely her fault in any just sense of the word. Nor even my mother Mimic, though I would hurt her somewhat less than I would the other Ponies.
Dissy.
He was only a year older than me, still a foal himself. He should not have risked my rages. He should have been frightened of me -- he was timid enough of so many other things. That actually did not change when he Awoke -- Discord is timid, even today, hast thou never noticed this? He fears most things as strong or stronger than himself -- it's just that, since he Awoke, there are very few things on this Earth anywhere near his own level of power.
But he was never afraid of me. Not until -- until we all changed. For some reason that I have never fully grasped, he saw my Sister and I as his friends almost from the moment I was born. That did not change as much as thou might think after he awoke, either. He has slain, harmed and warped our friends, our lovers, whole civilizations for which we cared, he has caused us great grief and done great evil in the millennium of his rule, but he has never seriously tried to slay either one of us.
Nor do I actually think he will try to slay thee, Twilight Sparkle, for I have seen the signs of his friendship for thee. Some others perhaps he likes -- Fluttershy of certain, possibly Pinkie Pie, in part because of whom she is the descendant. He will play with such, cause you all great emotional pain, but never directly do any of you what he would consider serious harm. It has always been his nature to want friends, though after he Awoke he could never find any -- until now. My Sister hopes he is finally changing. I think -- but I shall get to that in due course.
What was Dissy like, in his first years of life in this incarnation?
He was the most incredibly good, kind, and loving friend and play-mate I ever knew. He was my best friend in all the world. He was the one whose face I hoped to see every morning, the one I yearned to play with every day, the one to whom I always whispered good night. Perhaps I loved my mother and my Sister more, but I took them for granted: I never took Dissy for granted, he was the most exciting and enjoyable thing in my life. He was so unpredictable, save in one respect -- he never did evil nor harm to myself, to my sister, or to any living creature counted a friend to Ponies. He was a very good being.
Dost this surprise thee? Didst thou expect me to report him monstrous? But he was not monstrous then, he was instead the exemplar of everything good in Ponykind, save for the one detail that he was not actually a Pony, but something Ponykind had never seen before, save in dark and debatable legends from before the dawn of our known history.
I do not know why this was so. The most logical assumption is that this was a mask his Cosmic Self had created, formed so that we would accept him, love him, nurture him beneath our bellies, safe at our teats until the time would come for him to rip and tear us to shreds.
Dissy was the chick of a cosmic cuckoo; Paradise Estate the nest in which Discord had lain him, so that we might nourish him until he burst forth to the ruination of a world.
Dissy was meant to be no more than a larval stage for Discord.
Was that all he was? Just a mask, a falsity meant to convince us of his fundamental virtue, to paralyze us in contemplation of his beauty until Discord was ready to strike?
Perhaps. But yet ...a mask worn too long can change the conformation of the face beneath. That is ever the flaw of Infiltration, that one can become what one pretends to be. And I think that, before the end, much of Dissy became real.
Not enough, alas. Not enough to change the outcome.
***
Discord
He sat on the tell and watched the Sun slowly setting over the mountains west of Dream Valley.
Discord had a really good memory, when he wanted to -- almost as perfectly eidetic as that of the Sisters. The layout of Paradise Estate and the contours of Dream Valley were engraved deeply into his brain. He referenced them every time he created their simulacrum in his private world. The real place had changed more, over two and a half millennia, but not as much as one might have expected. Inherently sound location? Stray bits of the Moochick's old spells? Discord wasn't sure, and didn't care all that much about the reasons.
Oh, the ruins of the houses had all fallen in on themselves, rotted, the debris been covered by centuries of natural detritus until all that was left was the oddly-regular grassy knoll. But Discord knew the dimensions and the outline, knew where the buildings and rooms had all been in relation to one another. It was easy to reconstruct it all from memory.
He could have reconstructed it in reality, though he wasn't sure he could have redone the intricate threading of The Moochick's spells. Theoretically, of course, Discord was of an order of Being even farther beyond the High Eldren than the High Eldren had been beyond the little Ponies they had left to be the masters of this planet, but in this form he lacked full and convenient access to his Cosmic knowledge and power. And The Moochick had been an exceptional being, even by the standards of his race.
But such an act seemed pointless. Why rebuild an ancient magical steading, especially without all its old magic? And for whom? There were only two other beings, aside from himself, incarnate on this world who would have remembered the place fondly, and Discord doubted that they would have appreciated his action. Celestia had controlled this territory for fifteen hundred years, after all, and had clearly made no effort to rebuild.
He suspected it was one of those Pony things, like being unhappy at the reanimation of one's beloved dead as mindless zombies, that he'd never completely understand. I've never gotten any thanks for that, Discord thought. Not even when I make them the non-rotting, non-flesh-eating kind!
He supposed that in a way it would be similar. Paradise Estate would be nothing without the Ponies who had once given it life, just some play-set like the one he had in his private world. Who was left to enjoy that Paradise? It would be an alien place to the Ponies of modern Equestria, shaped as it was by the combined architecture and customs of the Eldren, the Humans, and the Ponies of millennia past. Nopony today would actually want to live in such a place.
Briefly, Discord contemplated restoring it and opening it as an exhibit, He materialized a ghostly Paradise Estate over the tell, a tour guide's uniform around himself, and conducted a tour group composed of his energy forms through the place. "... and here's where I tossed one at Celly and she ducked and it hit Wind Whistler," he said. "No, that doesn't mean you should all have a water balloon fight now! Ah, fudge it!" He swept away his phantoms, leaving only himself and the silent tell.
"Yeah," he said to the hill. "That probably wouldn't be a good idea. Celly'd get mad at me if I dispelled a real tour group."
He smiled briefly as he thought of one group of Ponies who probably would have appreciated Paradise Estate. He imagined Twilight fainting with scholarly ecstasy over the place, Rarity running around with a sketchpad copying pattern designs, Pinkie Pie holding a "GRAND OPENING NEW PARADISE ESTATE" party, Rainbow Dash spellbound by some of the tales of the things the Paradise Estate Ponies had done way back in the Reclamation, Applejack silent in awe at the history of the place, maybe getting up the courage to ask about the varieties of apples they'd had back then ...
... and Fluttershy ...
It hurt too much to think about. She would have walked through Posey's old gardens, through the surrounding hills, exclaiming in delight at the strange animals and plants of the deep Everfree. He could have cloaked her in part of his own protection, so that nothing would dare harm her, even if anything could harm her now that she had mastered the Stare, was starting to grasp the power that even partial Shifting provided her. Fluttershy ... Gaia ... the Cosmic Concept of Kindness ... a young goddess, growing more into her own might and majesty with every passing day, and none of them could see it!
Except maybe Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash appreciated Fluttershy, had kept her safe and happy when Fluttershy was small and weak and uncertain. Rainbow's protection of Fluttershy was at least half of the reason why Discord didn't hate her today, even though he knew Rainbow hated him. The rest of the reason was that Rainbow was just so damned funny to watch -- she was so sure of herself and her own heroism, so willing to fling herself against any foe. She was so much like a really goofy and innocent version of Firefly.
Damn, I miss Firefly -- I miss them all. Surprise, Posey, Twilight the First, the whole herd of them. Sometimes, I even miss the ones I didn't like that much, I should have played the game differently. I'm not sure how, I just should have played it so that they could all still be here to keep me company. Even as my enemies. Better than them just not being around any more. But I couldn't let them keep the Rainbow, and without the Rainbow -- less than a century, and they were all gone.
Ah well, look on the bright side. At least I can play with Rainbow Dash for several more decades. And the rest of them about as long. Unless they Ascend, in which case they'll be around a nice long time. He grinned deliciously at the prospect of all the merry japes he could play on them over the centuries to come.
Discord of course knew that Rainbow and Fluttershy had been lovers. It didn't bother him. A goddess should have her handmaidens, and that sort of relationship between goddess and handmaiden was only to be expected. Though Rainbow Dash was more like Fluttershy's champion, he supposed. Ah well, analogies are never perfect, which is why logic mostly sucks. His aesthetic concept of Pony goddesses actually owed more to Age of Wonders pulp fantasy than it did to any of the Pony religions which had really existed before his First Advent, or to the two actual Pony goddesses he'd grown up with as his best friends.
He would not have minded making Fluttershy the mistress of this place. Not minded at all.
But that's in the worldlines I can't visit now, isn't it? Even if I'm good -- mostly -- Fluttershy and I can never have anything like that together. She clearly loves Ponies. And I'm not a Pony. Just a mock-Pony, something that Ponies took in and raised as a Pony and now I think like them, half the time, but that doesn't mean they can really accept me -- they know I'm the Monster.
Not much of a Monster any more, really. I should be destroying and devastating -- and I don't really want to. It's not fun any more. What Wind Whistler told me was just confirmation, really. I could have destroyed Ponyville the instant I saw her in bed with him, and I didn't. I got mad, but I didn't. I'm so obviously going soft.
I don't really like hurting Ponies any more. What's wrong with me? What am I becoming?
There was no answer from the silent tell. Only the wind whispering through the grasses. And it was surely only in his imagination that they were calling his name.
Dissy, the winds whispered. Dissy.
***
Luna's Tale
What made me an even more difficult foal was my nocturnal nature.
Normally, as a foal grows toward fillyhood, her sleeping schedule will regularize, approaching that of the other Ponies surrounding her. Since Ponies are naturally diurnal creatures, that means that she will spend at least some of the night sleeping. Even if too many Ponies spend too much of the beautiful, brilliant night slug-a-bed, when they could be awake to delight in its wonder and glory and ......
... Ahem. I digress.
In this, as in so many other ways, I was different from other Ponies. I was then, and I am now, most comfortable sleeping in the mid-day, and remaining awake all night. This of course vexed my mother Mimic and the other Ponies, for it meant that I wanted to run about and play when everypony else lay abed and would doze in the midst of the day when they wished to be about their business. Mimic would put me back to bed when she caught me, so I learned to play quietly around midnight, making no sound so that nopony would be bothered by me.
I would creep through the silent halls of the Estate, to our play-room or the library or some other place that attracted my mercurial notice. Sometimes I would sneak out and play alone in the quiet gardens, which was safe enough as long as I stayed within the Veil that lay around us all. I had excellent night vision, and even in absolute dark might see a little by heat differentials or the inherent florescence of various substances. My other means of seeing took years to develop -- I could not yet send radio wave pulses, or bundles of gravitons, or anything more exotic. But I could see better in the dark than any Pony yet born, and as well as my later Children of the Night, the Nocturnae.
When I did this, I often played alone. Sometimes Dissy would wake just to be with me, and we would gallop and flutter and coil in company through the night forest. We were none too careful of the Veil, and our mothers would have been horrified had they known what we were up to, two strange little foals playing strange games in the midst of the monster-haunted forests. But the monsters would come to Dissy only to do him obeisance, and likewise the normal night-creatures to me. No normal Pony brigands would travel by night in such unchancy woods as these, so even had we not been what we were, we were at small risk of harm.
Celly didst tell thee about the night creatures? Yes, one of the earliest manifestations of my true nature was the creatures of the night, those who live in a world of pressure and sound and gravity, but little of my Sister's light, were inherently drawn to me. When this first began to happen, it frightened me, and when the adults noticed me, it frightened them as well. Which led to ... an unhappy moment of my foalhood.
***
Twilight Sparkle
Twilight was fairly sure she knew what was coming: she'd heard this before, when Celestia had told the tale. Desires warred within her: she wanted to spare Luna the retelling of this part, but she also wanted to know how Luna had seen it. And in any case, perhaps it would do Luna good to tell it to her? The curiosity of the scholar won out over the compassion of the friend, subverted by that last tnought, and Twilight simply listened.
Luna paused. She wrinkled her muzzle, looked at the ground for a moment, clearly gathering her energy for an unpleasant revelation.
"Regarding what I am now about to tell thee," Luna said, "thou must keep firmly in mind that Wind Whistler was a very good and wise Pony. She was brave, loyal, and highly rational. She cared deeply for the other Ponies at Paradise Estate, and she came to care deeply for all three of us little cuckoos. She is to this very day a model to me for mine own behavior -- I cannot say that I have always lived up to her example, but I have tried. I have not always succeeded -- this thou dost know all too well. But I have tried." Her jaw was set, her eyes blazed with determination.
"But even Wind Whistler was not perfect."
Luna closed her eyes, sighed as if in pain. Then she opened them and continued.
"Understand," said Luna, "she was groping toward comprehension of three uncanny foals with uncanny powers, two of whom had been born as twins. Dissy was perhaps the strangest, but he was whimsical and friendly rather than hostile, despite his odd appearance. He was repelled by the Rainbow, and there had been the deaths of the warlocks who had sought his mother. The Ponies of the Estate judged him of mixed nature, neither purely good nor purely evil.
"My Sister was obviously pure good.. That was more than their taking things only on their faces -- thou hast seen this thyself. She is a supremely good creature; the few times in her life she's actually tried to be bad, she's been really bad at it."
She made a wry grin, but it seemed to Twilight less at herself than at some ancient memory.
"I am better at being bad," Luna claimed. "Not very good at it, but better than Celestia. And when I was young I could be very naughty indeed. Perhaps not as dangerous as I later became, but very, very naughty."
The smile faded. Luna's expression flattened. She spoke the next part slowly, and as if it pained her.
"So when my power began to gather around me, when the creatures of the night, insects, moths, bats and owls gathered around me, what conclusion could Wind Whistler draw than that I was a creature of the night as well? Which was true. And beyond this, that I was, deep down, truly evil." Luna's head hung low. "Which I think I am not. I try to be a good Pony. But, as well thou knoweth, I am not really a Pony at all. And perhaps I do not always succeed ... at being ... good." The last came out as almost a whisper.
Twilight streteched her neck forward and rubbed her cheek against Luna's. "I think you're good," Twilight said.
Luna pressed her cheek against Twilight's in return. "I wish thou hadst been there," she said. "Back then -- two and a half millennia ago -- with us at Paradise Estate. Things might have turned out ... differently. So much sorrow might have been averted. Thou ... thou keepeth me from ..." She suddenly became conscious of what she was saying, pulled her head back. "I ramble. Forgive me."
Twilight smiled gently at her.
Luna regained her composure. "Well, in any case, Wind Whistler voiced the suspicions that all must have felt. That I was a thing of darkness, a thing of evil, a thing that needed to be destroyed." At Twilight's look of horror, Luna explained. "Thou must understand, they were all ancient warriors, and they knew just how bad things could get. They had seen three cataclysms first-hand, seen Ponykind near wiped out on each occasion. They had lost so many beloved, seen so many Ponies suffer and die. They wanted to avoid a fourth winnowing of their ... of our species. They meant well, dear friend. Thou must grasp this. Wind Whistler always meant well." Luna said this with such intensity that Twilight wondered who Luna meant to convince, for Twilight herself had voiced no doubts on this issue.
"They did naught to harm me," Luna assured her. "They but did converse, Wind Whistler and Twilight and Galaxy, mostly, with the others joining in at points -- but of course Mimic and Shady were not in the chamber. Twas not a formal meeting, just some old mages and warriors discussing a potential threat to their steading. And they did not know, for despite their fears they still saw us as harmless children, at least for now ... they did not know that we were eavesdropping, listening, that we could hear every word they said. That I could hear every word they said."
A strong emotion rippled through her, eyes downcast, ears drooping, muzzle wrinkling. Her pain was obviously undimmed despite the fact that more than twenty-five hundred winters had come and gone, whole realms risen and fallen since the formation of that memory. Then she looked right at Twilight Sparkle.
"I had known," Luna said slowly, "that I was a bad little filly. Difficult for my mother and everypony else to handle. But I had not known that they thought me a monster. A thing that they might have to destroy, as if I were a creature from outside raiding the steading. My mother had always loved me, no matter how much I tried her. I had not known that I might become a foe -- a threat to all I loved." She sighed. "And of course Wind Whistler was right. Though over fifteen hundred years early. No matter how hard I try to be good, there is a darkness within me, a madness, that makes of me sometimes a monster. It can be controlled for a time, appeased and lulled by love and friendship, but it hates and hungers to destroy what it hates.
"Thou hast seen me in my madness," she said. "Yes, that was in part the Night Shadow, but who invited the Night Shadow in to ride my soul? Who opened herself to its malign mastery, knowing full well that something very like it had claimed my poor dear friend Crimson Quartz, turned him into the mad Imperator Sombros? What was I thinking, Twilight? What could I have been thinking but that the world had failed me and that I would punish it for its imperfections, inflict my own evil upon it with the excuse of the Night Shadow, the same excuse as a drunken sot who roars and raves and kicks his friends and blames it on the liquor? I am supposed to be supernally clever and cunning, why did I fall into a trap so plain, unless I wanted to fall, wanted to hurt and destroy, and wanted to use the Shadow as excuse? Dost thou not know that half the peril this land lies in today is because I ruined my Sister's wise plans for it, plans that would by now have brought us back to and beyond the power of the Age of Wonders?
"Wind Whistler was right," she said bluntly, "and that is half of what Celestia did not tell thee, because she refuses to believe it herself, she will not admit what a monster I am in truth. And because she would not lower me in your esteem. She is happy that we have become friends, she thinks that it will keep me sane, turn me from stepping once more on the path of cruelty and betrayal. She thinks thou canst check my own worst nature.
"Yes," Luna said, as Twilight's eyes widened in realization. "She sees thee as my own restraint. As Fluttershy is to Discord, so art thou to mine own self. Is that not a merry jest, Twilight Sparkle? Thou holdest the leash of thy very own monster!" She laughed, harshly, and in her eyes was not joy, but desperation.
Twilight made to move toward her again, but Luna stepped back.
"Do not worry," Luna said. "The monster is not in the mood to rave and destroy today. Thou and the Realm are both safe from me!"
Twilight looked at her reproachfully.
"Thou thinkest thou can comfort me," Luna said. "But I have not told to thee the worst yet. I have only told thee what thou didst know full well, but misliked to speak aloud. Thou hast a mind of brilliance, Twilight Sparkle, and I am not dull either, and I know that thou hast long since grasped that my transformation into Nightmare was mine own fault .
"But I have other sins on my soul. Think, after thou hearest their nature, whether this monster is one thou still wishes to caress in love -- or to spurn in outrage at its vileness. Thou art surpassing good, Twilight Sparkle, very much like my Sister -- and good should not lower itself to consort with evil."
"You are not evil," Twilight said, looking directly into Luna's eyes. "You think you are, but. I know you. You're good. I can tell ... you show it in everything you do ... you're a good Pony."
"Reserve thy judgement," replied Luna rather coldly, until thou hast heard the full tale. " Her tone softened and warmed. "Thy faith in me does touch me, dear friend. But I have dark truths here to reveal."
Twilight nodded solemnly.
Luna resumed telling her tale.
Luna's Tale
So I decided, in my brilliance, that if ... Wind Whistler thought me a monster, then I should in truth be a monster, and go where monsters dwelt, outside the Veil. And I ran. I did not bother to gather supplies, any of the many things that a mare full-grown, let alone a small filly, would have needed to venture into that wilderness. I simply ran. I did not want to inflict my monstrousness on my herd any more, so I ran.
Danger? Well, I was a bit larger and stronger than I was when thou didst first free me of the Nightmare. I had the toughness inherent in all Alicorns -- as thou hast discovered, we are hardy and difficult to slay. I was not exhausted by fighting both six mad heroines and a Nightshadow, and I had not been blasted by the Rainbow. I had some unicorn magic with which to defend myself, and a limited flight-field, and the strength of an Earth Pony. I was a strong swimmer, and when I paid attention the flows of Nature were plain to me. In short I had the strengths of all five mortal Pony Kinds, and none of their weaknesses. So I was not helpless.
On the other hoof, I was only five years old. And not as crafty as I believed. And while I could have fought off any normal predator, there were things between the towns in that ancient time which one will find today only in the deeps of the most cursed wilderness. Things that could have taken a small filly, even an Alicorn filly, with great ease -- if that filly were not very careful.
I was not being very careful. I galloped out of Paradise Estate bawling at the top of my lungs, and through the woods for miles in like wise, before I finally calmed down enough to slow my gait to a trot more suitable for travel across the countryside, and stopped crying aloud. No, I did not grasp that my noise could draw every predator within earshot. Perhaps I was instead frightening them off. I do not know, for I was not yet thinking in any terms so rational.
Yes, Twilight. I, the future High Lady of War for a powerful Realm, had completely and totally panicked and was running through the forest in a blind funk. In my defense, I was but five, and had not yet enjoyed any formal military training. Nopony had ever shown me how to rout in confusion; I was making it up as I went along. I think I routed quite well for somepony so green!
I could have broken a leg. Or my neck. I would have survived all those things, and healed with a speed that would have astonished me -- at that time I had never been wounded -- but it would have been very painful, and would have severely reduced my ability to fend off predators. Understand, I was behaving so foolishly absent any awareness of Alicorn regeneration or the tenacity of life in us.
I was, in short, acting like an idiot. I really deserved to get injured. Perhaps the memory of the pain would have done me good later on, when I made my really serious errors.
Perhaps not. I am a very simple Concept, and even my Avatar changes only with very great difficulty.
After a time I came to some of my senses. Not yet enough to see what a silly thing I did, but enough to see that I would soon be found by the Paradise Estate Ponies if I went on in this fashion. As I have said, they included some expert trackers, and I had been making absolutely no effort to avoid leaving a trail, crashing through the underbrush. It was bad enough that they had multiple ways of scrying my location, but I was making it easy for them.
I became crafty. I gathered the night around me as a cloak against scrying. I dared not take to the skies for any great distance, for the Paradise Ponies could easily find my direction and as of yet I was but a slow and weak flier, but I fluttered across ravines and hopped from pond to pond in marshes, swam along rivers, avoided leaving hoofprints.
Time passed, and I knew they must be searching for me. And the day was dawning, and I started to feel weary, less from physical exhaustion and more from the pain in my soul. I am alone now, I told myself. I have to be alone. Nopony loves me. They all think me a monster.
So I went to ground. I went into the darkest and most tangled part of the woods, and made myself a nest of half-dead brush above me and on all sides, in an area almost covered by canopy. And there were vines on the bushes and trees, and insects and reptiles and small mammals crawling and darting about -- a wealth of life around me that I drew into and around me, confusing my own strong lifescent. Here, I could rest unobserved.
I dozed away the day, often stirring to troubled dreams -- I as yet had not the power of controlling them -- and at points I felt as if somepony were watching me, though I came awake from time to time and could never sense anypony close enough to perceive me. Still I felt as if there was a presence around me -- but not an unfriendly one, rather something watching over me and keeping me from harm. By the afternoon I fell asleep again and this time slept deeply, not awaking until the Sun had set, and the cool delightful gloaming descended.
I emerged from my nest into the deep dark woods. The night held no terrors for me, but I felt keenly the bite of loneliness. This was the first time I had ever spent a whole night away from home, a whole night alone, and I missed my mother, missed Celly and Dissy, the sensation of the Ponies of Paradise Estate all around me. I was part of a herd, and I thought myself outcast, and unjustly at that.
I am not a monster, I thought. I would not have harmed them. They should not have banished me. But there was nothing I could do about it. For -- or so I thought -- I had been rejected, I was outcast, and though I had been avoiding pursuit, I realized that there would be no pursuit, for nopony wanted me. Or if there was pursuit, it would be only to destroy a monster. The hooves and horns and wings of my former friends -- my former family -- would be raised against me. They would be my enemies
Then I truly felt all alone in the world, and I began bawling in utter dejection. I was only a very little filly, remember -- not much more than a foal -- and to be hated by all those who had once loved me seemed a very cruel fate, too much to be borne. I was making enough noise to be heard for miles, but it did not matter, even given my conclusion that the Ponies of Paradise Estate wanted to kill me. Death was not yet real to me, but loneliness was, and I think that I wanted to see those dear to me one last time, even if it would be the last time in this life.
And the watchful presence I had sensed during the day grew very immanent, and shadows gathered that not even my night-eyes could pierce, and there was a spray of some sort of radiance which I could not yet name. And from out of those unnatural shadows came a glowing red-eyed face, somewhat equine but greatly distorted and displaying fangs and waggling its tongue at me and crying aloud.
"Booga-booga!" it said, and I shrieked and jumped back, and then the next moment was incredibly relieved and a little angry and very happy all at the same time.
"Dissy!" I scolded him. "You scared me!"
"Hee-hee, got you real good!" he laughed.
"Why are you here?" I asked him angrily, though in truth I was very glad of his presence.
"Looking out for you, Lulu-lollipop," Dissy told me, briefly making his head seem like a giant lollipop, then returning it to normal. "It's not safe for a little filly out here in the wild. You need a big colt to protect you!" He assumed a heroic pose in the complete pre-Cataclysmic Amareican infantry gear he was suddenly wearing, presenting arms with his laser-sighted automatic rifle.
"I need no protection!" I protested. I had got the phrase from an adventure book and meant to declaim it dramatically, with the air of a noble heroine well able to take care of herself, but the effect was spoiled halfway through by my giggle. He had decided to fire the automatic rifle into the air, but it was shooting out iridescent ballons which drifted slowly skyward.
He dispelled his costume. "Course not, Lulu, you're a big filly," he laughed.
"Yeah!" I said, in a voice that meant to be fierce but doubtless failed, because at that moment Dissy grinned and looked silly and it was impossible for me not to laugh at him.
"But there's monsters in the woods," he continued. "And I can watch your tail!"
I shook my tail, throwing off the gold pocket-watch that had somehow become attached to that portion of my anatomy. Dissy then and Discord now has a very childish sense of humor. Of course, we were both children back then, so it was more excusable, and I tolerated it. Well, in truth, I loved it.
"I've gotta keep moving," I told my escort, with a tone of determination.
"Where're you going?" Dissy asked me, pulling out a map, which was not a map of anyplace I recognized as part of North Amareica.
"On a quest," I explained. "I have to prove I am not a nasty Monster."
"Oh," said Dissy. He smiled at me. "You're not nasty. You're nice. Like chocolate cake." He produced some from somewhere -- he was much like Pinkie Pie back then in his fondness for the conjuration of food, and like her in that he did so mainly to help others. I ate the cake eagerly, barely remembering to share some of it with him -- I had forgotten to bring food from Paradise Estate, so I was very hungry, and back then I was not the most polite little filly. He then called up two glasses of chocolate milk and we washed down the cake together.
Afterward I felt somewhat better -- I really like chocolate cake -- and considered the question of exactly where I was going. When I had left Paradise Estate, I had actually no particular destination in mind other than "away."
A name suggested itself. It was a name of glamor and glory, one of the names that was spoken by the adults when they talked about getting help or lore from abroad. It was a place that I knew to be friendly to Paradise Estate, and while it was many days' journey by hoof to the north, it was closer and friendlier than any of the three obvious alternatives on this continent.
"The Crystal Empire," I said. "Going to the Crystal City. They know everything at the Library. I'm going there."
It seemed very simple to me. I knew the way in general -- all one did was go north until one reached the borders, then 'all roads lead to the City,' as I'd heard it said. I had all the directness normal to a small filly, and the power to actually accomplish my intent.
It was still stupid and irresponsible. However, I was a small filly. And Dissy was only a year older than me, and he was ... Dissy. Sweet, but he remained in many ways a fluffbrain even as he grew older.
I still appreciate what he did for me. He missed his mother as much as I did mine; maybe more, as Dissy was closer to Shady than I was to Mimic. Yes, it was for him an adventure as much as it was for me, but the real reason he was here was for me.
"Okay, Lulu," he said. "I'm coming with you."
"You don't have to," I pointed out, though in truth I was very glad he had said that. "I'm a big filly. I can look out for myself ..."
"You're a big filly," he agreed, "but you're like my little sister. I have to look out for you." And then, as I pouted in offense at the idea that anypony had to look out for me, he said "Besides, it'll be fun. On the road with the coolest filly in the world ... it'll be like an adventure book!"
"Thanks," said the coolest filly in the world. "You're the bestest Big Brother." I hugged him, and he coiled about me, and I was warm and safe surrounded by his love.
Even at that age, we were multilingual, and frequently jumbled together the main languages we knew into our own strange pidgin. He'd said 'little sister' in the familial sense of Old Amareican. I'd said "Big Brother" in the romantic sense of Old Ponylandish. He was claiming me as kin; I was claiming him as a potential colt-friend.
I was far too young to realize the implications of what I had said. And so was he.
The portent remained.
***
Discord
He felt the resonance through Twilight's wards. Those wards were good, though not to be compared with Goldie Pie's, which had been laid down over decades with the power of the Earth-current focused by the antediluvian machinery of the Hyperboreans backing them. Twilight was the Avatar of Magic, who was a young Concept, and she was very newly an Alicorn, but she had a lot of promise. Discord respected her, to the extent that he respected anypony, which was admittedly minimal. And there was a fuzz that tasted of Twilight's lifescent between him and the resonance.
Luna was thinking of him. Part of Discord's own Talent was to directly sense magical resonance, and she and her Sister were Concepts even more ancient and normally more powerful than his own -- he had gained an unusual advantage over the Sisters by swallowing Destruction, but he did not discount their aeons-old skills. Something that direct could not be hidden from him, though he could not make out just what she was thinking.
He could tell, however, that she was thinking of him fondly, which was suprising.
Twilight must have called for help, Discord thought. And Luna came at the canter to help her new love. Or old love, more's the point. He remembered Magic's old Avatar, Dusk Skyshine, quite clearly. Dusk and Dash had been the enemies of Discentaur, which was something he'd appreciated. He'd had a lot of fun playing with them, and though the play had led in the end to Discord's discarnation, it was all in the game. He'd discarnated Magic first, much to the annoyance of Moondreamer, the Pony that Luna was being at the time. Or more than annoyance, knowing her. It had looked more like "overwhelming grief" from the outside.
Luna never changes. Always so intense about everything. Takes it all so seriously. Doesn't she know it's all a great big fun game? Only we Concepts are really real, and it's very hard for us to die. Neither of the Sisters really get that, which is odd because they're among the oldest Concepts of all. And they get so many other things, that's why I love them.
The mortal races of the Universe, even the very long-lived ones, are just ghosts and shadows compared to Us. They're born, as individuals and species. They live a bit. Then they die. And we go on, eternally. They're not really real. They're mayflies.
We're so real that we warp what the mayflies call reality -- if two of our Avatars from different worldlines meet, the worldlines begin to synchronize. The Sisters know that -- so why do they persist in really caring about the mayfly lives? They're all going to die anyway.
Still ...
In this place, it was hard for him to remember that. He thought of Celly and Lulu, yes, but also of Shady, and she was one of those mayflies. And Posey and Surprise and Firefly -- they were forming Concepts, yet he had loved and valued their mortal selves, long before he had known that they were connected to something greater. He loved Fluttershy, and liked Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, and they didn't know of What they were part, did they?
It could all be so confusing at times, being Incarnate like this. He kept forgetting that the Ponies weren't really real. He even sometimes forgot that he wasn't a Pony. It was far too easy to like them. To want to be one.
Far too easy.
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The galaxies are alive? Well, at least we know that Rainbow isn't at risk of Discord's jealousy over her relationship with Fluttershy anytime soon. Poor Luna. Even after her freedom from the Night Shadow and the friends she's made, she still won't forgive herself. I see that Discord is making a "Reflections" reference there. So, Discord can't even understand his own feelings for the "mayflies"? Nice little infodump at the end there. Keep it up!
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Some galaxies actually exhibit one very lifelike trait -- they have a "metabolism" of gas and dust intake to their central black holes, controlled by a negative feedback effect on a truly grand scale. When gas and dust fall into the black hole, it creates a tremendous pulse of energy from the event horizon, which pushes outward and hence retards the intake of more gas and dust. There is a sort of galactic "heartbeat," with gaps of centuries, millennia or even millions of years between pulses.
Rainbow reminds Discord of Firefly, so he kind of likes her.
There are some things which don't faze Luna; she's lived and fought for many centuries. But when she feels guilty about something, she feels really guilty about it. And she's her own harshest critic.
Yes. And I'm inspired to this by Neil Gaiman's Sandman series. In that series, The Endless had to be careful what they did, because they could easily set up patterns of morphic resonance that might have horrible effects on the Universe. Destruction accidentally killed several of his friends when a trap he set up to discourage pursuit caught them as a side-effect and (basically) inflicted a bad-luck curse upon them. My Cosmic Concepts (modified from Warlorn's) can do the same sort of thing without meaning to, especially if the version of a Concept from one worldline hops into another worldline and interacts too much with another Concept, or a powerful mortal mage, from that worldline.
They are changing in ways with which he is uncomfortable.
Continued . . . cool.
No, my dearest friend, I do not say 'ours', for while my Sister has of times known pain and suffering, in any but the darkest times she has glided smoothly through life, loving all and beloved by all. You may have noticed this about her? Well, it was as true of her as a filly as it was of a mare full-grown.
I smell Luna is still not over the 'oh so perfect big sister' complex.
Oh, exactly where thou wouldst expect me to have done so --
She bite her on Mimic's teet?!
the one that Pinkie strives to restore.
Didn't think Pinkie was that nuts.
Of course the whole REASON the Alicorn's Parents have them live lives as mortals IS to teach them empathy.
Didst thou know that the galaxies are alive?
Consider Magic Star communicated and made friends with stars at times . . .
Even my mother liked Celly more than myself, I believe.
Luna, now you're just BSing. Parents DON'T chose between their children like that!
What do you mean by 'tell?'
You do a great job with Discord and Luna's characters here.
What were the first three genocides? I know the end of the age of wonder, but what else? The windigos (which Celestia confessed to Twilight about, which Luna needs to admit her sister is not perfect).
Luna, you should have had Shady as your mother, your have her diffidence down pat.
hard for us ]i]to
???
Thanks for writing this.
Starlight Angel, "Trust me Discord, Ponies are real, I've greeted too many at this point to say we're not."
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Luna is never completely over envying Celestia. The envy began back before either of them had ever had organic incarnations ("Wait, you get to build all the elements and all I do is crash things together to help you do that?") and has continued ever since. The fact that Celestia is much better at getting other Ponies to like her than is Luna is but further proof to Luna of how things work this way. What makes it worse is that Luna thinks Celestia is better than her.
Celestia's side of it is partially shown in An Extended Performance, especially in the last chapter. Celestia thinks that Luna is a true heroine who has fought the toughest fights to save Ponykind while Celestia often hung back and did the strategic planning and diplomatic and political intrigue part of the war. Celestia thinks that in some ways Luna is better than herself, for different reasons than Luna envies her.
The two are inseparable, and no matter how often or how gloriously they fight, the deeper truth is that they love one another, and always shall. They hate being kept apart for long. Twilight, being beloved by both of them (in different ways), gets to see it from both sides in time.
Yep. Where else would a cranky baby bite her mom?
I've been told this is actually a problem with all sorts of mammals. The tissues have to be sensitive to lactate, and the baby gets impatient or angry, so it bites. Kittens have little needle teeth and often cause minor cuts to their mothers. Foals I believe have milk teeth and can bite down hard enough to hurt something as sensitive as the teats. Happens with human babies too.
The situation with Paradise, Pinkie, Celestia and the other Cosmics is complicated. Paradise and Celestia are old friends and allies; Paradise knows how it screwed up the first time and is trying to avoid paradox in its reboot. It doesn't want to crash the universe, especially since it would be at ground zero of the crash.
Celestia is acting as the emissary for Paradise to the other Cosmics to argue against a second attempt to destroy it. Pinkie is kind of caught in the middle; she's loyal to both Paradise (her sire!) and Celestia (her Ruling Princess). Pinkie of course wants to see the reboot happen; it's one of the causes for which she was created.
Luna knows most of this in some detail. In particular she knows what Pinkie is, and what her presence implies.
Archaeological term for a hill created by long-term habitation of a site. The hill is made of the ruins of the buildings that once stood there and the garbage that generations of inhabitants have disposed of, plus possible subsequent deposition of material by natural forces once the site is abandoned.
The Paradise Estate Ponies were more careful about their garbage than were the ancient Mesopotamians, but over 3500 years they managed to accumulate a good amount of it. When the Estate collapsed, it left a knoll at its former location. Discord remembers where it was very well; given the nature of his thoughts he has decided to sit on it and consider what actions he should take.
The location inclines him toward caution, since it reminded him of how his early triumph turned swiftly to fundamental failure: he turned on the Paradise Estate Ponies and indeed conquered, but it was in many ways a Pyrrhic victory as he lost all his old friends in the process.
My mom did, between my sister and myself (I was the favored one, which annoyed me as I loved my sister). But Mimic is much saner than was my mother, so any favoritism was probably pretty mild. Luna is not really an Unreliable Narrator -- and she's trying to be very honest with Twilight here -- but she sees things through her own filter. I try to keep everyone in their own points of view, including biases, as much as possible.
Age of Extermination (which nearly did just that to the Ponies), The Cataclysm, and the Coming of the Ice (caused by the Windigoes). Of course the next one was the Advent of Discord, which actually killed less Ponies than the other three, but was highly-disruptive to their civilization because Discord liked disrupting thing for their own sweet sake.
Oddly enough, your comments have caused me to realize that Shady and Luna are very much alike in their pessimism. The big difference is that Luna tends to rebound from depression with almost manic bursts of physical activity.
This may also explain why Dissy likes Lulu so much -- she reminds him of his own mother, and arouses his protective impulses. He also feels protective toward Celly, but here it is tinged with much more admiration, and (eventually) romantic admiration.
I'm going to leave a trail of thoughts as I read through this chapter:
I do love how Luna's digressions during her tale show just how much she lets down her guard around Twilight.
Fusion and Gravity, the two forces whose tug of war is the homeostasis of a star. Though it's interesting to note that Gravity always wins in the end. (And now I can't help but think of Days of Wasp and Spider. Different worldline, but the names match up.)
Living galaxies... I imagine they are ponderous beings, their very thoughts hampered by the sluggish speed of light. Or perhaps magic laughs at such limitations, and they simply function on a scale that we who are but specks on a specks cannot begin to comprehend.
Any analogy breaks down under sufficient analysis, and one who can comprehend and command the countless, seemingly incoherent patterns that form Chaos is going to be an excellent analyst.
Wind Whistler's logic was flawed, but understandable. When you've gone up against a immortal demon who used something called the Rainbow of Darkness, you're going to assume dark is always evil. And Luna took that assumption to heart at a young, impressionable age and believes it still.
"six mad heroines". Yes, I suppose they'd have to be mad, to challenge a crazed god. But madness and genius are often separated only by degrees of success, and who won in the end there? Everyone but the Nightshadow, as it should be.
And Discord shows the classic immortal's moral stance towards mortals: what does it matter what I do to them if they'll be dust in just a century or two? But it does matter, because these aren't just toys to torment or actors to enjoy. These are people, and that realization is terrifying. Part of that terror comes from the terror itself, because it means Discord actually cares about these mayflies, and that's simply not done.
Looking forward to more.
5044715
Luna's tale is very much being influenced by her audience -- meaning Twilight, her friend and possible beloved. Luna feels she has to tell her the truth -- the more so because keeping back the truth 2504 years ago led to horrible consequences. But it's a very painful truth to tell -- she fears she'll lose Twilight's respect, and as she's reliving what she did back then, she feels terribly guilty.
Yes. Exactly.
I came up with the idea when I first realized that the central black holes have a (very slow) pulse. What's more, we know enough to strongly suspect that that pulse is tied to stellar formation and other important galactic processes.
Stars are also probably alive in the Shadow Wars Universe. They'd be conceptualized as the "children" of the Two Sisters. Stars, also have some rather lifelike processes, including their own pulses of varying rates of fusion.
Earthlike planets, obviously. They may well be alive in the real Universe, for certain values of life: the strong Gaia hypothesis holds that to be true, and even under the weak Gaia hypothesis much of what Earth does is rather lifelike. The part we see might even be an epiphenomenon on the deep mantle processes -- then again, our own consciousness is an epiphenomenon of our brain, so "epiphenomenon" doesn't necessarily imply triviality.
Which is sad, because Wind Whistler realized she was wrong soon after that conversation.
Exactly. And Discord doesn't know how to deal with Ponies as equals, as friends.
Dissy knew how, though.
I like this. Discord's thoughts about not being a Pony and Fluttershy won't want him because he's not a Pony make it clear that his jealousy isn't based on "you can't have the thing I have" but "you having the thing I want proves I can't have it", which makes it a lot more likely that this can be resolved peacefully. He thinks that Fluttershy being with Bulk has destroyed his not-quite-fully-articulated dreams of being with Fluttershy himself, not because he assumes monogamy but because he assumes that this proves Fluttershy is ponysexual only and would never want him. (This is kind of a logical leap to derive "Fluttershy does not like non-ponies" from "Fluttershy likes ponies", but then, Discord admits he hates logic.) Fluttershy may be able to resolve this with an "I like you too." (Though to be honest, that wouldn't then fit with his behavior in Twilight's Kingdom; he obviously doesn't feel there that Fluttershy loves him the way he does her or he wouldn't have betrayed her.)
Fusion and Gravity are normally more powerful than Chaos? I am not so sure that's true... unless Discord isn't Chaos but Disharmony, which his name does suggest. Chaos is a much broader concept than "things that don't fit together". But if this is based on Pony POV verse, then Discord is Chaos and Disharmony, and I'm pretty sure that the abstract concept of disorder is more fundamental, and therefore more powerful, than the physical processes of fusion and gravity.
Did the Draconequui and Alicorns ever work together on projects? Black holes seem like something Gravity, Fusion and Chaos would actually have had to collaborate on. "What happens if you win and I win, so it all falls together and goes squish like, ultimate squish?" "I don't know; things stop making sense around that point." "Oh, but what's the fun in making sense?" (sisters roll eyes) Not sure whether Time is a Draconequus or an Alicorn, but either way, he or she is probably pissed about the black holes. :-)
Dissy's fundamental kindness being a cuckoo egg shell is a disturbing thought, but if so, it backfired on Cosmic Discord, because Incarnate Discord is obviously an overlay of Cosmic Discord on top of Dissy. The fact that Dissy isn't a separate entity in there like Destruction is clearly indicates that he was fully incorporated into Incarnate Discord. Which means all the traits that Cosmic Discord might have programmed into Dissy to ensure his survival are still there in Incarnate Discord, just buried. That being said I don't know how Incarnate Discord is going to resolve the issue that Cosmic Discord might delete him for individuating too far off the original pattern, because Cosmic Discord is enough of an asshole that even if he subconsciously programmed Dissy with traits he wished he had (there is nothing about Chaos that requires it to be an ass, after all, but there is something about being raised as a Draconequus that tends to lead to you becoming a jerk, because you won't be able to stand up to your family otherwise), he'd still perceive those traits as weakness. Unless there is a more of a feedback loop going on than Incarnate Discord remembers, and Cosmic Discord is already being influenced by the changes in his avatar.
5045505
Discord assumes two things:
(1) Fluttershy is at least serially-monogamous, because most Equestrians and also the Paradise Estate Ponies in general and the Two Sisters in particular were and are serially-monogamous (largely because "serial" becomes unavoidable when one is immortal and one's potential mates aren't), and thus
(2) Fluttershy's falling in love with Bulk means that she can't romantically-love Discord, which is a reasonable assumption at least for the present if one assumes "1", and furthermore
(3a) (surface reason) given how much more awesome Discord is than Bulk, the only reason for her to prefer Bulk over Fluttershy is that Fluttershy is purely Ponysexual or
(3b) (deeper reason) Fluttershy loves him rather than me because I'm an evil scary Monster, and that's obvious to her even though she pretends to like me and not to be afraid of me.
Discord is ignoring, because it would make his previous actions seem foolish, the possibility that, had he told Fluttershy how he felt about her earlier, she might have fallen in love with him. Or turned out to already be in love with him, at least a little bit (which happens to have been true).
But then Discord hadn't fully realized how he felt about her until he saw her in bed with Bulk. Before then, he was to some extent taking her for granted. This is of course a romantic cliche, but it's one with some basis in fact.
He also doesn't realize that Fluttershy is very much a non-standard Pony in terms of her sexual morality, which she pretty much made up herself from a combination of her own desires, half-understood Pegasus epic poetry, Rarity's advice and game theory. As Rainbow Dash tries to explain it to Twilight:
For Fluttershy, it's mostly about trust. And she can trust more than one Pony. She has a strong sex drive, and she's essentially both bisexual and polyamorous -- though at this point in her life she's not all that experienced.
This is very different from most Ponies. Equestria is a monogamous culture, with relatively high sexual morals though with some variant marital customs (mostly polygynous ones). But most Ponies have a basic level of trust for one another that is high by Human standards.
Fluttershy was primed to distrust most other Ponies by her mother and this was confirmed by her early life experiences. She trusts Rainbow Dash and Rarity a lot, and the rest of the Mane Six a bit less. She's learning to trust more Ponies. But she's still very shy of most of them.
She's not promiscuous. She wouldn't have sex with somepony she didn't love, at least a little -- and love and trust are very linked in her nature. But she's definitely not monogamous.
Well ... half and half. See, Discord isn't all that trusting either -- he just counts on his powers to save him from the effects of a betrayal. I actually started this fic in part to explain why Discord could so easily betray Fluttershy to begin with in Twilight's Kingdom, when his actions before and after show that he really does care about her.
My conclusion is that Discord doesn't totally "forgive" Fluttershy for her "betrayal" in Divine Jealousy and the Voice of Reason. The fact that he can't just step up and be accepted by Fluttershy as his one and only mate (I'm writing this vaguely to avoid spoiling the outcome of this story) rankles and he wants to show that he's not to be "trifled with." (The quotes are because Discord's whole interpretation of the situation is really childish, or to be precise young-adolescent).
I had thought of writing my own version of Twilight's Kingdom, too, but you did it far better than I ever could in Traitor. I'm now just going with the assumption that Traitor happens in the Shadow Wars continuity as well, with the appropriate replacements in terms of power explanations and deep background.
Discord is Discordance or Disharmony, he's not Chaos in general. He's certainly not all "disorder" -- that would be Entropy, who is far more powerful than him but thankfully doesn't get involved much in anything on a Pony scale. He's technically I guess the decoherence of quantum entanglement due to the inability of the Universe to be entirely consistence. The reason he's more powerful in this Avatar is that he got some power voluntarily and some more involuntarily from two other Draconequi.
Oh yes. They fought "recently" (by their standards) but are actually supposed to be allies protecting their Multiverse and keeping its Laws and Attractors running smoothly. Their recent war is one of the reasons why the Night Shadows were able to pry open portals from their Multiverse to ours.
You've got it!
Which is something Celestia also gets, or at least hopes to be true; and Luna has given up on. Luna thinks Celestia is just engaging in wishful thinking because Celly was in love with Dissy. Of course, Luna has the exact same motivation buried in her past. She just reacted differently.
And yeah -- there is the issue of Cosmic Discord. And the Avatar Discord is something of a coward. Though in this case he has a real justification for his fears.
You've alluded to, both subtly and not so subtly, each of the Mane 6 having ascended or Cosmic selves (hell, you even made Trixie of all ponies a latent alicorn) in this story, all except for Rainbow Dash. In fact, any indication (at least in this fic) that Rainbow might be a latent goddess is scant at best, especially compared to the others. Since you're clearly not trying to hide any of this, answer me upfront: do you have each of the Mane 6 becoming an alicorn or whatever later down the line in this series, or is Rainbow Dash set to grow old and die in a few decades? And if it's the latter, then why leave her out?
5046093
Yep, they all Ascend.
And what makes you think I don't like Dashie? I totally agree with Twilight in this scene:
What did Twilight mean? That Fluttershy was in a situation which would have almost justified Rainbow Dash in venting with one of the biggest "I told you so" speeches in the history of such, and Rainbow Dash didn't do that. Instead, Dashie was only concerned with Fluttershy's safety and happiness. Rainbow Dash is a truly awesome friend.
5046125
Nothing actually. My question might've been a bit poorly worded, but "why leave her out?" was the best way I could think of to ask without making that implication.
Im just curious if you are going to explore Celestia and Sombra story connected to the comics. Since Discord and Luna have a spotlight in the story and all..
Also Discord based on new comics is able to travel in meteors throughout the space. Seem like a connection to theory of Discord being a cosmic-like being instead of being created on pony earth
5069823
Well, I could eventually. But the very birth of the Shadow Wars Sombra -- Prince Crimson Quartz -- is over fourteen hundred years in the future of Luna's Tale. She will allude to him in the chapter I'm working on right now (15) but it's not directly about him.
The "past experiences" chapters are my favourite ones in this fic.
I must admit this story wasn't what I was expecting (I realized that several chapters ago), but I am loving it.
Also glad to see not all of Discord's jealousy is petty childishness, and instead comes partly from the fact that he knows he's a cuckoo, he's not ponykind, therefore he does not believe anyone would ever accept him into their world.
Luna's story is also fascinating. She's always been my favourite Princess. I see her story partly mirrors Discord's here with regards to jealousy and feelings of being different and I'm interested to see how her tale will end up.
I wonder what else Lovecraftian Equestria holds...
Huh nice chapter I enjoyed the look into Discord's point of view and the further information on the Concepts although you'd think that Discord (I.E. Chaos) would be even older than Luna and Celestia's concepts. As chaos is probably one of the few truly universal and eternal constants. The turbulence of primordial forces, of bickering Concepts, and the general disorder of the Universe could all give life to Discord's Concept.