You are a Human in Equestria, and it's been a little too long. So when you see a sad looking mare with a cardboard sign offering herself for sale, you take her offer a little more seriously than you ever thought you would.
Wow, that's dark, and now he has a choice to make. I'll understand if you don't want to do anymore to this. I really will, but damn... I can see so many directions this can go. The first and foremost is the happy ending. I might like to write dark, but when someone has had a hard bit of life like she has... Well, they deserve a bit of happiness.
That was very well done. To be honest I'm really interested in seeing where things go from here. Because yeah... that was intense. I know not every story gets a happy ending... but I feel really bad for this pony.
She definitely deserves a happy ending after hearing her story; granted I had an idea how you were you going to explain why she was like this. And sir, you proved my idea with flying color. I agree with Lordfrieza, but you opened this proverbial box, now we demand MOAR!!!!! If that's ok with you.
Speachless is the right term You sir, made this storm all the more better, true bitter sweet, and i agree, she needs a happy end. And truth be told, the process where she become better slowly would worth it too. Brilliantly done.
Thanks for the backstory. Much better this way. Sorry that I have but one upvote to give.
Actually, I don't agree that we need even more; it feels like a complete story now. Yes, there are plenty of ways it can continue from here, but I feel no particular need to have the author pick out a specific one for me. (Though I'll keep reading if you do).
For what it's worth, my favorite option would be the tragic one where he offers to take her in, but she eventually refuses because she values being poor-but-free over being (effectively) someone's property or a charity case. There must have been others who made such an offer. Or it sounds vaguely like she could have stayed a ward of the state, or whatever.
(I would grumble slightly about her becoming a bit too eloquent for her background towards the end of her tale -- but I suppose there are limits to what one can honorably demand of a poor guy who [IIUC] thought he was just jotting down a quick little trollfic).
Long story short, to mess with a Wuthering Heights quote, this satisfied me while forcing my hunger for more to grow, good work author. I really, really hope you continue.
Incredible. I didn't think you would do it, but you did it. It's even better than it was. If you can, keep going. Like I said before, this has great potential. More so than I realized the other day.
must of > must have then what is? > then what is?" like that? . > like that? she like this > she likes this You're heart > Your heart Mothers > Mother's afterwords > afterwards after Puberty > after puberty
You... you made me have feels... DURING A CLOP FIC! WHY?! WHY?!?! WHY?!?!?! i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7838424832/h44135E74/ Also... and I'm probably somewhat sick for requesting this... can you continue it?
There's an idea floating around in my head of what happens to her. How things change for her. It's an entire story of where they go from here, how their lives progress, and how his life changes drastically as well. A story of an odd romance that rises from an unlikely place only to present itself to the world it is in.
I see the creation of a new species out of this union, and so much specism rising out because of it. A time of tormoil that will test this new relationship. Yes, yes... Damn it now I have to write.
Oh well. I thank you tailsopony for creating this interestingly new character, and may I ask now, may I please play around with your new character?
4486870 I've never tried that. Now everything seems odd. What have you done?
4486939 Well... It's about the same I guess? I'm not sure. Sometimes I go there when I'm bored. Dirty pictures aren't allowed, but get posted all the time. Dirty anything else isn't banned. So yeah, about like 4chan in general.
4487558 Yeah, I have a problem. Some of my stories have been on cliffhangers for a long time.
4487599 I'm not in it for the long haul on this one. So it's either finished next chapter, or done now. We'll see if I feel like writing it. But thanks for the comment!
4488338 About that, yeah. I felt like she was too well spoken as well. I toned it down a little, but if I had spent more time fixing things I'd have toned it down a lot. I'm actually glad someone recognized and commented on the characterization dissonance going on here. I had a problem because for a while she sounded like a child during it, then I rewrote it a little so she sounded less childlike. Then she sounded too... proper? I guess. But I didn't want to spend the time fixing it. Maybe I will later.
I also was thinking of heading that direction story wise, but often when I write characters make up their own minds and defy what I want from them. So we'll see. I kinda agree with you that it feels complete. But if I feel like writing it, I will. And if I write it, I'll post it.
Thanks for the comment! I love when people have criticism on things I write. I like that significantly more than anything else people could say, even though I do like any comment at all. So really it's all positive in my eyes.
4488505 Maybe I will. Maybe I won't. I will write other things eventually though. And hopefully finish some of my other stories. Check them out if you haven't. Admittedly, they are weird.
4488959 Use away. She's not going to have a name in this story, so feel free to name her whatever you want in your story. Same goes for anybody else that wants to use her. She's a whore, and she'll be whatever or whoever you want her to be.
4489020 Her problems were insinuated in the first chapter. Here, they're clearly explained. Thanks for the comments!
4489476 You have five upvotes. That means you're winning. But Winning really doesn't mean anything unless you're Charley Sheen. And even then, all it means is that you're Charley Sheen. Dunno. We'll see.
4489806 Yeah. I didn't really want to draw this out. I certainly could have. Could have been a story set over the course of several months of Anon getting to know the whore, and slowly pulling out little bits of information from her as he figures out her kinks and she takes care of him. That would have been a better story. But I didn't really wanna do that. This time. Maybe next time. Thanks a bunch for that list, I'm gonna cross check it and fix things soon as I'm done with the comment here.
4489957 Maybe. You should check out some of my other clop fics. I've been told there's feels to be had. Of course, people lie to me all the time. And we'll see if I continue it or not.
4491344 Do whatever you want with her. Just don't be upset if somebody else does something different.
i just found the story left a bad taste in my mouth if i read it in my normal kockney, but when i read it in a sort of stereotypical russian accent it was surprisingly fitting
Because Russian sounds bad-ass and conveys a sense of strength. This is because every video game with a Russian makes them awesome and immune to everything.
"Oh, I am missing my arm and a leg, eh Comrade? Psh, nothing a quart of Vodka wont fix, haha."
I don't think that's it. Rather, I believe it's because Russian conveys a certain amount of sadness.
Even the badass attitude you're talking about isn't the usual "yeah, I'm just badass," it more of a, I've got nothing left to lose so taking risks are fine.
Have you read the Metro novels? (The games are based on them) Because that's a book that's depressing.
Why can Russia never be depicted as a good place? They're either blood hungry psychopaths in TF2, manipulating bastards in MW, or joyless mother truckers in metro. When am I gonna find a building sim where I can build the Lenin library and have it seem happy?
oh. oh. oh. i know this feeling... this is how i usually feel when i read a damn-good story that leaves me... ugh feeling a lot of things, good and bad (if that even makes sense which i doubt).
i hate to ask this of you (so i wont...), but i do understand the clamor for a proper, satisfying, no cliffhangery type, ending. the way you write... damn you've got a gift.
btw. sorry for the earlier outburst (my previous comment). i think you broke me by giving this story another chapter - that and because where i am, it is already very very late (or very very early depending on one's perspective)... i saw the new chapter at 3:45 am, one can only imagine the adrenaline rush i had.
now i write this comment out of necessity (to quell this feels you gave me. thank you very much!) so that i may shut this tired eyes and finally sleep in peace..
again good sir thank you for continuing this *insert badass sentence enhancer here* story.
I haven't read the novels, but I know what they're about.
Second, because Western gaming curtails to portraying the Russians as terrible people because hey, us Americans are the good guys and those damn Commies/Ruskies/Soviets are evil and... uh... EVIL! Also, the Soviets were pretty vicious, but we tend to ignore the fact that the USA did a lot of asshole things as well during the Cold War, Stalin's time, etc.
Sarcasm aside, we just love to portray Russia as bad because of past political differences during the Cold War, and they could care less about it. Honestly, I'm fine with Russia and I'm also American (how can that be?), so I really don't see why we can't move on from evil Russians to filthy Chinese nationalists. God, those damn Commies are going to be the end of the red, white and blue because of crony capitalism! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- I bolded this because it's what video games are turning to now. (BF4, etc.)
All joking aside, the USA and the west will always be portrayed as the good guys, and your eastern once-communist/Soviet nations will be portrayed as evil. That's why you'll never see a video game with a positive Russian tone until something happens.
Feels... serious feels right now... and during a clopfic. I didn't think that i would be having feels here but I was proven wrong. the feels were so much that i almost started crying. this is a damn good story and you should keep up the good work
dunno how many weeks has since passed but i just went here to check if there's an update for this story... nothing? oh well, im just gonna re-read it again then :3
Now I’ll always wonder why it took me so long to check out your other stories when I’ve been a fan of CV:C for so long. This is awesome in all the right ways smut can be.
Also, I would like to add my voice to the chorus crying out for a continuation, though I understand if it won’t happen. As it is, myself, I see two ways this could go …
1) The lighter version: Dude is overcome by his conscience, can’t keep “abusing” her now that he knows she’s got such a broken past, and they reach some sort of kinda-hopeful-maybe resolution, perhaps involving him helping her adapt to a more “healthy” way of living, or something …
OR (and the dirtier part of me prefers this):
2) The gritty version: Starts the same as 1) with Dude feeling real reticent, but then Whore (we really need names for these characters) kinda tells him point-blank (though maybe not in these words), “Yeah, I’m fucked up, but that’s just what I am now – a dirty whore who’s good for nothing else. Don’t you dare pity me. I can make my choices. And I choose to be your filthy, good-for-nothing-else whore for as long as you’ll have me.” And she immediately starts sucking him off or takes him in her ass or something to drive the point home – she’s come to terms with what she is and it’s just how she rolls, now.
Afterwards, I parrot the idea that the dude would offer to take her in, but I’d suggest doing it with a smutty twist: that whilst she’d have all the food and warm beds and such she’d want, in exchange, she’d be his live-in whore with a full time “do anything you want to me” commitment. Maybe throw in some extra-dirty stuff like making her drain his bladder in the morning or something, just to show how little she cares about what he makes her do, so long as she’s off the streets. (Though that’s just one idea, of course.)
Though, I’d still like this interspersed with cleaner moments; a good cuddling/affectionate scene fits in just about anywhere.
… I swear this comment wasn’t meant to be this long or pervy. Oh well. Hope it doesn’t come across as pushy.
This was great, but has some holes. I loved the details, and your writing style, but the ending i didn't care for. You should have put more at the ending. Instead of just having her describe her life, like maybe you should have had the Anon cuddle her close and tell her that that was all over, or have Anon take her in.
BUT, thumbs up for me, because it is VERY well written, and I dont see that much anymore. Great Job bro, thank you for taking the time to write this.
Ah yes, the denizens of /mlp/. My favorite
goysguys :)I don't know why, but this story seems so much more atmospheric and engaging if read with a Russian accent.....
I've been playing too much metro haven't i?
how is the mother land sir? i haven't been to /mlp/ in a while.
Wow, that's dark, and now he has a choice to make. I'll understand if you don't want to do anymore to this. I really will, but damn... I can see so many directions this can go. The first and foremost is the happy ending. I might like to write dark, but when someone has had a hard bit of life like she has... Well, they deserve a bit of happiness.
That was very well done. To be honest I'm really interested in seeing where things go from here. Because yeah... that was intense.
I know not every story gets a happy ending... but I feel really bad for this pony.
She definitely deserves a happy ending after hearing her story; granted I had an idea how you were you going to explain why she was like this. And sir, you proved my idea with flying color. I agree with Lordfrieza, but you opened this proverbial box, now we demand MOAR!!!!! If that's ok with you.
...holy fucking shit. What is he going to do now?
Why do you keep doing this? You keep giving us cliffhangers, and we need more!
Speachless is the right term You sir, made this storm all the more better, true bitter sweet, and i agree, she needs a happy end. And truth be told, the process where she become better slowly would worth it too. Brilliantly done.
I.....I.....I......
I want more of this story, and I feel like a horrible person for it, but I WANT IT!
PLS, MOAR NAO?<3
Thanks for the backstory. Much better this way. Sorry that I have but one upvote to give.
Actually, I don't agree that we need even more; it feels like a complete story now. Yes, there are plenty of ways it can continue from here, but I feel no particular need to have the author pick out a specific one for me. (Though I'll keep reading if you do).
For what it's worth, my favorite option would be the tragic one where he offers to take her in, but she eventually refuses because she values being poor-but-free over being (effectively) someone's property or a charity case. There must have been others who made such an offer. Or it sounds vaguely like she could have stayed a ward of the state, or whatever.
(I would grumble slightly about her becoming a bit too eloquent for her background towards the end of her tale -- but I suppose there are limits to what one can honorably demand of a poor guy who [IIUC] thought he was just jotting down a quick little trollfic).
Long story short, to mess with a Wuthering Heights quote, this satisfied me while forcing my hunger for more to grow, good work author. I really, really hope you continue.
Alright you sur have succsesfully convinced me to use this pony in my story i think her name should be Dawning Chance
Incredible. I didn't think you would do it, but you did it. It's even better than it was. If you can, keep going. Like I said before, this has great potential. More so than I realized the other day.
Also, I now see the need for the "Dark" tag.
..... Continue....
Marry her.
Good. But too easy. There're no secrets now.
must of > must have
then what is? > then what is?"
like that? . > like that?
she like this > she likes this
You're heart > Your heart
Mothers > Mother's
afterwords > afterwards
after Puberty > after puberty
4489806
She still is going to be unstable, which would make things unpredictable.
You... you made me have feels... DURING A CLOP FIC!
WHY?!
WHY?!?!
WHY?!?!?!
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7838424832/h44135E74/
Also... and I'm probably somewhat sick for requesting this... can you continue it?
4488959
That's an amazing name. Fantastic choice, and my hat is off to you.
4487142
There's an idea floating around in my head of what happens to her. How things change for her. It's an entire story of where they go from here, how their lives progress, and how his life changes drastically as well. A story of an odd romance that rises from an unlikely place only to present itself to the world it is in.
I see the creation of a new species out of this union, and so much specism rising out because of it. A time of tormoil that will test this new relationship. Yes, yes... Damn it now I have to write.
Oh well. I thank you tailsopony for creating this interestingly new character, and may I ask now, may I please play around with your new character?
Thank you
- LF
4491344 Do it. Now.
4491860
I'm actually working on it
4492000 You better be... The cookie commands it.
4486798
lol. Yeah, they're an interesting bunch.
4486870
I've never tried that. Now everything
seems odd. What have you done?
4486939
Well... It's about the same I guess? I'm not sure. Sometimes I go there when I'm bored. Dirty pictures aren't allowed, but get posted all the time. Dirty anything else isn't banned. So yeah, about like 4chan in general.
4486957
I don't always like happy endings myself.
4487071
We'll see. Thanks for the comment!
4487235
I dunno.
4487558
Yeah, I have a problem. Some of my stories have been on cliffhangers for a long time.
4487599
I'm not in it for the long haul on this one. So it's either finished next chapter, or done now. We'll see if I feel like writing it. But thanks for the comment!
4488001
lol. Thanks for the comment.
4488201
Maybe. Dunno.
4488338
About that, yeah. I felt like she was too well spoken as well. I toned it down a little, but if I had spent more time fixing things I'd have toned it down a lot. I'm actually glad someone recognized and commented on the characterization dissonance going on here. I had a problem because for a while she sounded like a child during it, then I rewrote it a little so she sounded less childlike. Then she sounded too... proper? I guess. But I didn't want to spend the time fixing it. Maybe I will later.
I also was thinking of heading that direction story wise, but often when I write characters make up their own minds and defy what I want from them. So we'll see. I kinda agree with you that it feels complete. But if I feel like writing it, I will. And if I write it, I'll post it.
Thanks for the comment! I love when people have criticism on things I write. I like that significantly more than anything else people could say, even though I do like any comment at all. So really it's all positive in my eyes.
4488505
Maybe I will. Maybe I won't. I will write other things eventually though. And hopefully finish some of my other stories. Check them out if you haven't. Admittedly, they are weird.
4488959
Use away. She's not going to have a name in this story, so feel free to name her whatever you want in your story. Same goes for anybody else that wants to use her. She's a whore, and she'll be whatever or whoever you want her to be.
4489020
Her problems were insinuated in the first chapter. Here, they're clearly explained. Thanks for the comments!
4489291
Maybe.
4489476
You have five upvotes. That means you're winning. But Winning really doesn't mean anything unless you're Charley Sheen. And even then, all it means is that you're Charley Sheen. Dunno. We'll see.
4489806
Yeah. I didn't really want to draw this out. I certainly could have. Could have been a story set over the course of several months of Anon getting to know the whore, and slowly pulling out little bits of information from her as he figures out her kinks and she takes care of him. That would have been a better story. But I didn't really wanna do that. This time. Maybe next time. Thanks a bunch for that list, I'm gonna cross check it and fix things soon as I'm done with the comment here.
4489957
Maybe. You should check out some of my other clop fics. I've been told there's feels to be had. Of course, people lie to me all the time. And we'll see if I continue it or not.
4491344
Do whatever you want with her. Just don't be upset if somebody else does something different.
4494595
That's fine. It was a great read! Just... I wish there was more, ya know?
4494595
i just found the story left a bad taste in my mouth if i read it in my normal kockney, but when i read it in a sort of stereotypical russian accent it was surprisingly fitting
I see this whore always on /mlp/ it makes me crazy.
This story made me feel emotions that I don't understand.
That's a good thing. I think.
Have a favorite.
I wanna see how this ends
4497146
Because Russian sounds bad-ass and conveys a sense of strength. This is because every video game with a Russian makes them awesome and immune to everything.
"Oh, I am missing my arm and a leg, eh Comrade? Psh, nothing a quart of Vodka wont fix, haha."
4507069
I don't think that's it. Rather, I believe it's because Russian conveys a certain amount of sadness.
Even the badass attitude you're talking about isn't the usual "yeah, I'm just badass," it more of a, I've got nothing left to lose so taking risks are fine.
4509984
That's more accurate, considering Metro and all the games I've played. Damn you, Artyom!
4510958
Have you read the Metro novels? (The games are based on them) Because that's a book that's depressing.
Why can Russia never be depicted as a good place? They're either blood hungry psychopaths in TF2, manipulating bastards in MW, or joyless mother truckers in metro. When am I gonna find a building sim where I can build the Lenin library and have it seem happy?
doth my eyes fucking decieve me?!? what is this? an update!? dfuq wasn't in-fucking-formed about this!? fuk*fuk*fukk...fsssshhhh...
*end of transmission*
*put a hand over chest*
oh. oh. oh.
i know this feeling...
this is how i usually feel when i read a damn-good story that leaves me... ugh feeling a lot of things, good and bad (if that even makes sense which i doubt).
i hate to ask this of you (so i wont...), but i do understand the clamor for a proper, satisfying, no cliffhangery type, ending. the way you write... damn you've got a gift.
btw. sorry for the earlier outburst (my previous comment). i think you broke me by giving this story another chapter - that and because where i am, it is already very very late (or very very early depending on one's perspective)... i saw the new chapter at 3:45 am, one can only imagine the adrenaline rush i had.
now i write this comment out of necessity (to quell this feels you gave me. thank you very much!) so that i may shut this tired eyes and finally sleep in peace..
again good sir thank you for continuing this *insert badass sentence enhancer here* story.
now wish me good luck in finding sleep. -_-
4511013
I haven't read the novels, but I know what they're about.
Second, because Western gaming curtails to portraying the Russians as terrible people because hey, us Americans are the good guys and those damn Commies/Ruskies/Soviets are evil and... uh... EVIL! Also, the Soviets were pretty vicious, but we tend to ignore the fact that the USA did a lot of asshole things as well during the Cold War, Stalin's time, etc.
Sarcasm aside, we just love to portray Russia as bad because of past political differences during the Cold War, and they could care less about it. Honestly, I'm fine with Russia and I'm also American (how can that be?), so I really don't see why we can't move on from evil Russians to filthy Chinese nationalists. God, those damn Commies are going to be the end of the red, white and blue because of crony capitalism! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- I bolded this because it's what video games are turning to now. (BF4, etc.)
All joking aside, the USA and the west will always be portrayed as the good guys, and your eastern once-communist/Soviet nations will be portrayed as evil. That's why you'll never see a video game with a positive Russian tone until something happens.
Feels... serious feels right now... and during a clopfic. I didn't think that i would be having feels here but I was proven wrong. the feels were so much that i almost started crying. this is a damn good story and you should keep up the good work
....Damn, would it be wrong of me if I said I want to see more?
4558555 Ah the return of the why boner
i1.ytimg.com/vi/6aMD6oarTWA/hqdefault.jpg
WITH A VENGEANCE!!!!!!
Man, I was hoping this would have a kinda romantic mushy end. Oh how very wrong I was
I reconize that baclstory from somewhere but i cabt remember
dunno how many weeks has since passed but i just went here to check if there's an update for this story... nothing? oh well, im just gonna re-read it again then :3
Please continue this. The poor pony deserves a happy ending ( or atleast an ending of some sort )
Good story. Incest is not my type of read though in that backstory. Good thing it's not one of the Mane 6
Checking... just checking and hoping for a miracle update soon. I can wait forever.. i just have too know how it ends :P
This story made me feel so conflicted...
reading it again
for some reason i still can't get this story out of my head.
more than once i found my thoughts drifting back to this unnamed blind mare.
good story... good story.
it is, and will always remain as one of my most beloved stories i've read from this site.
Now I’ll always wonder why it took me so long to check out your other stories when I’ve been a fan of CV:C for so long. This is awesome in all the right ways smut can be.
Also, I would like to add my voice to the chorus crying out for a continuation, though I understand if it won’t happen. As it is, myself, I see two ways this could go …
1) The lighter version: Dude is overcome by his conscience, can’t keep “abusing” her now that he knows she’s got such a broken past, and they reach some sort of kinda-hopeful-maybe resolution, perhaps involving him helping her adapt to a more “healthy” way of living, or something …
OR (and the dirtier part of me prefers this):
2) The gritty version: Starts the same as 1) with Dude feeling real reticent, but then Whore (we really need names for these characters) kinda tells him point-blank (though maybe not in these words), “Yeah, I’m fucked up, but that’s just what I am now – a dirty whore who’s good for nothing else. Don’t you dare pity me. I can make my choices. And I choose to be your filthy, good-for-nothing-else whore for as long as you’ll have me.” And she immediately starts sucking him off or takes him in her ass or something to drive the point home – she’s come to terms with what she is and it’s just how she rolls, now.
Afterwards, I parrot the idea that the dude would offer to take her in, but I’d suggest doing it with a smutty twist: that whilst she’d have all the food and warm beds and such she’d want, in exchange, she’d be his live-in whore with a full time “do anything you want to me” commitment. Maybe throw in some extra-dirty stuff like making her drain his bladder in the morning or something, just to show how little she cares about what he makes her do, so long as she’s off the streets. (Though that’s just one idea, of course.)
Though, I’d still like this interspersed with cleaner moments; a good cuddling/affectionate scene fits in just about anywhere.
… I swear this comment wasn’t meant to be this long or pervy. Oh well. Hope it doesn’t come across as pushy.
This was great, but has some holes. I loved the details, and your writing style, but the ending i didn't care for. You should have put more at the ending. Instead of just having her describe her life, like maybe you should have had the Anon cuddle her close and tell her that that was all over, or have Anon take her in.
BUT, thumbs up for me, because it is VERY well written, and I dont see that much anymore. Great Job bro, thank you for taking the time to write this.