Bon Bon and Lyra
Big Mac sat frozen; his guts felt like they had turned into ice and his brain into bricks. “Uhhh...” he mumbled.
Bon Bon sighed and said, “Don’t worry about it, there are no strings attached. This is going to be our foal, not yours. That’s what a ‘roll in the hay’ means, right? Just something… fun and uncomplicated.”
“Uhh… eyup?” Big Mac’s pupils dilated as he watched Bon Bon clap her hooves at Lyra, who nodded.
Lyra slowly approached him and gulped. She straightened up and walked around him, rubbing up against him as she circled. She ended up wrapped around him like a parasitic ivy. Her tail was long enough that it wrapped all the way around his left side, while she mumbled into his right ear, “Um, hello. Nice to meet you. Well, we’ve already met. You know, I buy apples from your cart sometimes.” Big Mac was still frozen stiff, but his eyes tracked her around and locked towards the right side of his skull, watching her.
“Tuesdays,” Bon Bon said, her brow flat. “Grocery shopping is on Tuesday, Stringbean. And you don’t need to talk to him. Just get it over with.”
Lyra gasped and replied, “Well excuse me! Some of us like to make an emotional connection before—”
“You don’t need a connection with him!” Bon Bon’s voice rose, then she sighed. “Look, I don’t want to watch this, but I have to, so can we just get this over with? Just pretend he’s me.” She changed her focus to Big Mac. “Try to act like a stallion,” she chuckled with a wry grin. “Shouldn’t be too hard for you.”
“What? Since when are you the husband?” Lyra glared at Bon Bon. “Bonny, switch with me. You’ll be better at this.”
Bon Bon glared back at Lyra. “We discussed this, Stringbean,” she said with clenched teeth. “We decided—”
“On a coin flip!” Lyra exclaimed.
Bon Bon ignored her comment and continued, “—that you would be the one to carry the foal. Besides, the coin flip was your idea.” She took a step closer to the two ponies; she stood almost muzzle-to-muzzle with Lyra when she opened her mouth to speak. Bon Bon abruptly tilted her head towards Big Mac, who was just now getting used to the feeling of Lyra wrapped around him.
“Uhhhmm...” he mumbled again.
Bon Bon sniffed twice, like a bloodhound who had found a hare. “You smell like cyanide. Maybe if…” she turned and dug into her saddlebag.
Lyra’s eyes went wide. “He’s poison? You said this would be safe!”
Bon Bon rolled her eyes and sighed. “No, Stringbean, he smells like apples. And apples have a bit of cyanide in them. You’d need a chef’s nose to even notice it. He doesn’t smell like me, so maybe if you rubbed a bit of this—” she slapped a brownish stick against Big Mac’s chest and rubbed it into him. It crinkled and crumbled into powder almost instantly before he could react.
ah-ah-ACHOO!
Big Mac sneezed into Bon Bon’s face after his nose got an overdose of cinnamon. Bon Bon’s eyes closed and she looked peaceful, but the throbbing vein on her forehead said otherwise. Lyra tittered, “That’s what you get for being pushy!” Her nose flared as she continued, “But you’re right, Bonny! He does kinda smell like you now.” She closed her eyes and said, “Okay, I think I can do this.”
Big Mac’s eyes went wide as he thought, Uh oh, showtime. What do Ah do? Bon Bon interrupted his train of thought when she shouted, “Not yet! I need to get my face cleaned off so I can watch!”
“I don’t want you watching! That would be sooo weird,” Lyra whined.
Bon Bon trotted over to the spigot on the wall near the barn door. She flipped on the faucet and splashed some water on her face. “Stringbean, we’ve been over this; I have to watch to make sure everything is safe.”
Lyra blew out a raspberry and said, “What’s going to go wrong? What could make this any worse?” Big Mac nodded with a small smile, then thought, Hey, wait a minute! What’s wrong with ME?
“What if he doesn’t do the job? Or what if he’s violent? Or what if—” Bon Bon gestured wildly in the air, painting grisly scenarios.
“I’m fine, Bonny. You… you don’t have to watch this. I’ll be fine, and then we can have our little foal…” Her voice cracked. Big Mac turned his head just enough so he could see Lyra’s face. Her lower lip quivered.
Lyra snuggled up to Big Mac, while Bon Bon simply stared at her. A single tear rolled down Bon Bon’s cheek. Her voice was like a dying echo, barely audible, and much too small to fill the expansive barn. “What if you like him?”
Lyra scoffed and replied, “Bonny, I’m supposed to be the insane one. You think I’m going to like him? HIM, as in, a stallion?” She turned to him as her ears drooped. “No offense, right?”
“Nnnope,” Big Mac said as he shook his head.
“Bonny, listen to me. I’m your special somepony. Yours, and yours alone. I’m not going to fall for somepony else, especially not a stallion.” She glanced down and snickered. “Even one who smells like you and has a nice big… hoof.” Big Mac’s face flushed as he shifted his hooves over his midsection.
B-but… what if…” Bon Bon trotted to Lyra, around Big Mac’s right side. She nuzzled into Lyra’s neck and whispered, “I’m sorry, I just can’t help it. I feel jealous.”
Lyra sighed and nuzzled her back. “I don’t wanna do this either, but what else can we do?”
Bon Bon gave a dry little laugh. “What would our parents say if they saw us now?”
Gack! At the word “parents,” Lyra’s soft body became tense. Big Mac thought of himself as a fairly strong pony, but Lyra possessed an insane strength! Lyra’s voice sounded like gravel with a side order of hot cinders when she shot back at Bon Bon, “Buck my parents, we’re going to be a pair of flank-kicking moms compared to them.”
Bon Bon backed up a step and replied, “I’m sorry, Stringbean. I didn’t mean… I just thought about being parents and it all just… hit me.”
Big Mac turned blue while he reached towards the work bench against the far wall. The stack of mail sat on it, relatively hidden from the rest of the Apple family in the barn. A flyer sat on top of the stack, hiding the offensive notice at the bottom. It could prove to be Big Mac’s salvation, if only he could cross the distance with Lyra on his back before passing out. He reached out with a hoof, pointing at the stack of mail.
He didn’t make it one step before he collapsed, blue as a blueberry.
“Huh? Oh, sorry,” Lyra said as she relaxed and unwound herself from Big Mac. He instantly gasped for air and ruddy color returned to his face.
Bon Bon trotted over to the workbench he had been pointing at. She glanced at Big Mac with a raised brow. “The tool box?”
Big Mac coughed before he weakly said, “Nnnope.”
“The mail?” she asked, pointing at the stack of bills and advertisements.
Big Mac nodded and said, “Eeeyup.”
“What’s this?” Bon Bon said, picking the flyer off the top of the mail stack. “Hooves Holding Hearts Adoption Agency? And they don’t exclude same-sex couples!” Her eyes scanned the page rapidly.
Lyra brightened up and chirped, “Really?!”
Bon Bon didn’t move, transfixed by the flyer. It took several moments before she whipped her head around and said, “Do you think this will work?”
“Eeeyup!” Big Mac tried to nod. Instead he opted to watch those black spots that were still swimming across his vision.
“Yeah, and we won’t have to answer any questions about where the foal came from. That’s a headache I really don’t need,” Lyra said as she trotted over to the workbench and sat upright on it, her hind legs dangling just over the floor. “Well, what does it say?” she asked, looking at Bon Bon and the flyer.
Bon Bon looked up at Lyra. “It says they’re looking for good sets of parents, nothing about excluding couples like us. This might actually work.”
Lyra smiled and nodded. “Lets go!”
“Now?” Bon Bon looked at Lyra aghast.
“Yeah, now,” Lyra replied with one raised brow. “What are we waiting for?”
Bon Bon pointed at Big Mac with the flyer and said, “What about him? I just paid fifty bits!”
Lyra shrugged and said, “I’m happy with the result.” She leaned down and kissed Bon Bon right on the forehead. “Aren’t you… satisfied?”
Big Mac grinned; he tried to look jovial, but he looked more like a foal with his hoof caught in the cookie jar. Bon Bon looked between Lyra and Big Mac before she finally smiled. “Yeah, thanks, Big Mac.”
“C’mon, lets go already!” Lyra said, dragging Bon Bon out the barn door. It swung closed while Big Mac sat on the pile of hay, alone. Oh goddess, I’ve got one hundred bits. In jus’ two hours! No wonder them mares sometimes do this kinda thing. Of course, Ah haven’t done anything yet…
Big Mac sat up and smiled as he looked at the jar of bits. He shook it gently, just to hear them clink together. One hundred bits wasn’t a fortune, but to him, it could be hearth and home. He thought about what Granny Smith would say if she saw him now, and the smile dropped from his face. He turned to face the sign on the other side of the barn wall, and stood. He wanted to tear down that sign, but the door creaked open once again.
“Hello? Big Mac? Are you in here?” The voice sounded high and sweet, but carried a note of desperation. Big Mac looked at the mare who trotted in. She closed the barn door behind her and strode up to him. With each step, her smile grew wider.
“Eeeyup.”
Roseluck took in a deep breath and sighed deeply. “And now you’re mine, all mine…”
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That was... something... that happened... in time...
Dodged a bullet there Mac?
Eeeyep
Dodge one bullet several more to avoid.
Phew! Close call! For a sec there, I thought Ponyville might have turkey basters.
I think that you should have fleet foot be in a future chapter. If you read the comics you'll understand
4447587
I haven't read the comics yet. It's on my to do list.
This story is already finished, I just don't post the chapters all at once. So the question is: "have I included Fleetfoot already?" My answer?
Keep reading and find out!
4447664 You can see them on Youtube, and when you're done with the regular comics I'd recommend seeing the microscope series of comics, but skip the first 2 they aren't very good (the microscope series)
Danger! Danger Will Robinson, Danger!
I loved Hooves Holding Hearts. I hope Paelo finishes it up sometime. It's a blast.
4447741 The comic depict the Changelings are mindless drones, slaves to their queen right? If that's the case I want nothing to do with them. The Changelings are a beautiful, intelligent, sad and misunderstood people.
They are individuals, more like ponies than many would care to admit. It's stupid how because they have insect wings, they must be bugs. Fun fact, the green goo they spin with is Gak.
It's an asylum, everyone is out of their minds!
About the chapter, this worked out rather well. And Lyra said she's the crazy one; Lyra, have you seen Ponyville?
Got 100 bits, just by listening to some mare cry, and giving a flyer that he had for some reason. Not a bad day's work, for doing nothing.
I don't know if Big Mac's really lucky or really unlucky.
Now I know where this story is going and I wholeheartedly approve.
He should have just put: "therapy with big mac, 50 bits."
My god as l read this i thought this would be...well..you know...but it turns out that mac turns into a therapist. Sort of.
I love this so much.