A Roll in the Hay

by Shahrazad

Cheerilee

“N-n-n-nope!” Big Mac stuttered.

Cheerilee turned to him, her brow a flat line. “Nope? That’s all you can say?”

“E-e-e-eyup!” he stammered again.

“That’s all you ever say. Yep and nope. Well, guess what, buster— that ain't gonna cut it with me. Ever since we started dating I've been trying to get to know the real Big Mac, because you never seem to say much. Well, I know plenty about you now, you disgusting, filthy pig! I never want to see you again!” She squeezed her eyes shut and galloped out the door, tears trailing out of the corners of her eyes.

“W-wait!” Big Mac shot forward after her. His heart beat wildly, and he felt that if it got any higher in his throat he would cough it right out.

The two ponies galloped down the road under the setting sun, leaving a trail of dust behind them. Cheerilee was fast, but Big Mac was a powerful stallion, and his strides were longer. He caught her just past the Apple Farm’s fence. He meant to simply stop her, but when he drew near, he hit a pothole and stumbled forward. He crashed into her, tumbling into the dirt. “My leg!” she cried, as they lay in a heap.

Big Mac groaned. He had a fresh scrape on his shoulder where the fur had been sheared off; the skin underneath red and raw. Wincing, he struggled to his hooves. He looked down to find Cheerilee with her front left leg curled into her barrel. He gulped and asked, “A-are you alright, Miss Cheerilee?”

She only glared at him from the ground. Big Mac looked at her foreleg and felt a stab of pain in his own. Wincing, he ducked under her and stood. “Don’tcha worry, Cheerilee. Ah’ll take care of ya.”

He trotted back to the barn with Cheerilee on his back, making sure he didn't jostle her or go too fast. When he opened the door to the barn, the sun winked out behind the horizon, cloaking everything in blotchy, purplish shadows. The inside of the barn grew even darker, especially when the door closed behind Big Mac with a creak. “Heh, Ah really should oil that hinge,” he said, sweat trickling down his forehead. He gulped again, trying to wet his throat, which felt like it was stuffed with sawdust.

With a grunt, he gently set Cheerilee down on the bed of hay, the softest spot in the barn. He trotted to the workbench and dug through the shelves. He found a cylinder-shaped object covered in a dusty burlap. Pinching the corner of the cloth in his mouth, Big Mac tore it off to reveal a lantern with a few fireflies inside. It cast a pale glow over his features as he held it in his mouth and approached Cheerilee. “Ah’ll need ta look at that leg.”

She lay on her back, still glaring at him, her mouth set in a hard line. He held a small smile as he approached her to take her foreleg in his own. He stood over her and took a good look. She looked so pretty in the pale light. He reached out…

POW!

Big Mac gasped, dropping the lantern. Shadows splashed and wavered around the room as the fireflies protested their rough treatment. Curled into a fetal position, Big Mac covered his sensitive underbelly. Cheerilee scrambled to her hooves and hobbled to the exit, panting hard. “C-Cheerilee… p-please,” Big Mac managed to gasp out. He sounded like he had inhaled a dozen of Pinkie’s party balloons.

Cheerilee snapped her head around. Something in her eyes gave Big Mac a glimpse into her fury. She limped to the workbench and snagged a large, rusty wrench in her mouth. She managed to make her way across the barn to stand over him, growling, “You want another one? HUH? I’ll hit you in the same spot with this wrench if I have to!”

The Apple Family jewels had received Cheerilee’s buck without warning. The pain had caused Big Mac to collapse, and now she was telling him she’d do it again, but this time using a wrench. Still, he would rather be hit with the wrench than see her glare at him. That cut him deeper than any buck to his sensitive parts.

Although, the buck did hurt. A LOT.

“Cheerilee… Ah kin ‘splain.” He gasped for air, although his voice had returned to normal— mostly. “Please… give me… a chance,” he managed to breathe out.

“After you did… THAT to my students? And after you tried to do it to ME? I don’t want you to even touch me, you... YOU!” She couldn't find an insult grievous enough for his apparent crimes. The wrench shook, hovering over him like a sword held back by only a string.

Big Mac tried to focus on her through a haze of pain. “Ah’m... sorry, Cheerilee. Ah didn't mean ta hurt ya. Ah didn't do nothin’ wrong, ‘cept put up a fool sign an’ try ta save mah farm.”

“Nothing wrong? NOTHING WRONG?!” she shouted at him. Her eyes blazed with righteous fury as she said, “You've got one chance to explain yourself before I bash your head in! You… CRIMINAL!”

He could say many things. He could say that he needed the bits so he had to put up the sign. He could say that he never hurt her students. He could try and explain that he had no ill intentions towards her, that he actually really liked her, and she had totally misinterpreted what was going on. He could say that none of the mares he saw today wanted a roll in the hay. Well, okay, they did want a roll in the hay, but that wasn't what they needed.

He opened his mouth to speak, but a thought struck him.

What them mares wanted and what they needed weren't the same thing. They needed somepony to pay attention to ‘em, to listen to ‘em, and to figure out what they all really needed. If’n Ah try to explain anything to Cheerilee, she’s gonna bash mah head in before Ah get mah second sentence out. Ah gotta stop her, and Ah can’t use a lot o’ fancy words to do it! So, what does Cheerilee want? What does she feel? What’s makin’ her so mad she might kill me? He smiled; it looked more like a grimace with all of the pain he felt, but he knew his answer.

He spoke carefully, clearly, even through the pain shooting up his midsection. “Cheerilee, what ya thought about me last week was right. And… Ah love you.”

It was like he had hit her with an arrow through the heart. Shocked, she dropped the wrench, which clattered to the ground with a dull thud. He made no move, aside from breathing hard, giving the pain a chance to subside. Cheerilee blinked, quivering, then snatched up the wrench again. She backed away from him, her barrel expanding and contracting rapidly. He could hear her breathing, he briefly feared she would hyperventilate. “W-what did you say? S-stay back, you…”

“Ah know ya think ya made a big mistake, but ya didn't. The only mistake ya made was thinkin’ Ah done something terrible. Jus’ let me explain— then, if’n ya still want to, you kin bash mah head in.” Big Mac sighed as the pain slowly faded. Instead of feeling like a sword in the gut, it just felt like a knife. Still, he dared not stand, or even sit up. Ah jus’ hope she’s as nice as Ah think she is.

She didn't respond right away. She just stared at him for several moments before she said, “You’d better have a darn good excuse. And remember, I’m a teacher— I've heard every lame excuse there is for poor behavior.”

Big Mac chuckled, making pain shoot up his chest. Coughing, he replied, “Trust me, ya never heard a story like this…”

He narrated his day to her. He spoke more in five minutes than he had the rest of the previous week. He frequently stumbled over his words— those simple, clumsy, dull tools he didn't exercise. But he spoke from the heart, telling her all about his thoughts and feelings. How he felt pity, sadness, and pain for each of his clients, and how much they just needed somepony to listen to them. They just needed a chance. He hadn't solved anypony’s problems; how could he? All he did was listen to them, but he helped each one find a ray of sunshine when it looked bleakest for them. He even told Cheerilee how scared and ashamed he was, and why it was all worthwhile.

“And that’s when Ah realized why Ah was doin’ all this. Apple Bloom needs ta grow up normal-like. She can’t be a poor, homeless pony, she jus’ can’t. She deserves ta grow up and go ta school. She deserves… well… she deserves ta see you every day.” Big Mac finished his story and smiled.

Cheerilee stood, hovering at the threshold of the barn door, with the wrench still ready. He couldn't read her expression; her brow had gone flat, her eyes focused on him, her mouth clamped onto the wrench handle… and her ear twitched. Big Mac didn't think too much about it before, but he really paid attention to her now. It meant she was thinking, considering, weighing her options. “Let’s say I believe you,” she suddenly said, causing Big Mac’s ears to perk up. “What would you do? Can you prove it?”

“Uhhmm,” Big Mac mumbled. He scratched his chin with a hoof as he thought hard. He still lay on the floor, but the pain had gone away. He pointed to the work bench and said, “The bank notice is on the bottom of the stack of mail.”

She hobbled to the workbench and set the wrench down. Glaring at him, she growled, “Don’t get up. Don’t even think about moving. If you try to get up…” Big Mac nodded and lay down flat on the bed of hay. She shifted through the stack of mail and found the offensive notice at the bottom. She scanned it, then turned to him. “Well, this proves you’re in trouble, but it doesn't prove that you didn't try to do… them, in order to get bits. And I know you've got plenty of bits,” she said as she tapped the jar, nearly filled to the brim. “Anything else?”

“Uhhh, Ah have an idea, but we gotta leave the farm,” Big Mac suggested, trying to sound innocent.

Cheerilee’s eyes darted around the room, searching for something. Answers, perhaps, or maybe another weapon with which to kill him, he couldn't tell. “How do I know I can trust you?”

“Ah don’t rightly know. Ah guess you kin take the lantern and the wrench. Ah plan ta go inta town, so we’re goin’ to see other ponies. That’s safer, right? Even still, it’s a leap of faith.” He pushed the lantern in her direction, causing it to roll across the floor. It stopped when it clinked against her one healthy forehoof still on the ground. “Yer smart, an’ th’ most beautiful mare Ah’ve ever seen, Cheerilee. What do ya think of me?”

Cheerilee looked at the lantern. She hooked the handle with her injured forehoof and allowed it to hang there. She picked up the wrench in her mouth and said around the handle, “I think you’re going first.”

~~~~

tinkle-tinkle

The bell sounded cheerful as he entered the shop. The aroma nearly knocked him over with its sweetness. Daffodils, tulips, roses, and many more flowers were artfully displayed in neat rows or behind glass cases. Some in bunches, others in vases, still more in bouquets, but they all smelled sweet. Big Mac gulped and walked into the shop, trying not to sweat as he started the process of choosing a flower. Cheerilee hobbled in behind him, a lantern hooked around her curled foreleg and a wrench in her mouth.

“I’m sorry, we’re closed. I was just about to—” Roseluck stopped herself when she saw Big Mac in her shop. He looked at her wares, taking his time.

“Okay, we’re here, now what?” Cheerilee mumbled as she hobbled into the shop.

Roseluck sniffed and said quietly, “Well, I suppose I can stay open a little later. Take your time, I’ll just… be over here. Don’t mind me, I’m not important…” She shuffled around the shop with a broom, forlornly kicking a dustpan. Big Mac focused on the flowers, while Cheerilee focused on him... mostly.

She couldn't help but glance at Roseluck. Cheerilee hadn't ever really noticed Roseluck before; she was pretty, but bland. Cheerilee saw her as a normal background pony that nopony cared about. She sold flowers, and as far as Cheerilee knew, was perfectly happy without a special somepony. Big Mac’s story flooded her mind as she did a double-take on Roseluck. She blinked, shaking her head, and planted her eyes on Big Mac. Cheerilee still couldn't help but glance at Roseluck whenever her back turned. How could such a nice, quiet pony be so… aggressive?

It took some time, but eventually Big Mac made a selection. He gently bit down on a bouquet of a dozen roses. He marched up to the counter, set them down, and smiled. Roseluck trotted back around behind the cash register and droned, “One dozen roses. Six bits, please.” Big Mac slapped six bits on the counter, while Roseluck wrapped the flowers and slid them back across the counter— a perfectly ordinary transaction.

Big Mac fumbled with the bouquet for a moment before he turned around. He trotted up to Cheerilee, his hooves making sharp clip-clops on the hardwood floor. He presented the roses to her with a bow. Cheerilee scoffed, “You think one dozen roses is going to make everything better?”

“Nnnope!” Big Mac replied. “Only eleven roses.”

Cheerilee raised a brow and said, “Whatever, how is that going to prove... anything…?” She watched Big Mac, whose eyes shifted to the right. She followed his gaze over his shoulder. There wasn't anything there except the register and the counter. A single rose lay on the counter, and behind the counter she could see Roseluck…

...Who trembled. A moment ago she seemed fine, but now she shook like a leaf. Her eyes held water that threatened to fall at any moment. With a burst of motion, she swiped the rose off the counter and held it like a foal. She smelled it, burying her nose into the petals.

Cheerilee could hardly believe her eyes. Unless she had seen it herself, she would never have believed that a florist would do such a thing. On the surface it appeared… unusual, but nothing completely out of the ordinary. And yet… with Big Mac’s story…

Cheerilee gasped in surprise when Big Mac took the lantern and slipped under her foreleg. She whispered to him, “It… it’s just one rose…”

“Eeeyup.”

“I… I believe you,” she said. She felt the horrible knot in her stomach unwind. She wasn't wrong about him. No, she was most definitely right about him; everything about him was right.

Except maybe his foolish plan to get bits.

“Trade ya,” Big Mac said, offering her the flowers. She nodded, and they returned to Sweet Apple Acres, she with roses, he with a wrench.

~~~~~

“Soooo, is it enough?” Cheerilee asked, peering into the nearly full jar of bits.

Big Mac looked at the ground and sucked in a pained breath. “Nnnope…”

Cheerilee sighed and flexed her forehoof. It still felt tender, but she could limp on it now. Luckily, she hadn’t sprained it. “Take that sign down. I know it’s past sundown, but you never know what pony will see it. Goddess knows what’s happened to your reputation in this little town.”

Big Mac’s head snapped up and his eyes went wide. He galloped out of the barn and searched for the sign, stumbling around in the dark. His nose found it by smashing into it while he trotted about blindly in the dark. Why didn't Ah bring the lantern? he thought glumly. With a growl, he tore the sign out of the ground with one buck. Big Mac picked it up and trotted back into the barn with a satisfied grin on his face, and a fresh welt on his nose. He didn't see Cheerilee, so he glanced left and right, searching for her. Somepony ripped the sign out of his teeth, leaving his mouth agape, his eyes wide, and his face slack.

Cheerilee stepped out of her hiding spot behind the door, which she now idly bucked closed. She slid the sign post into the door handles, barring the door shut from the inside. The garish sign looked into the barn, so only Big Mac and Cheerilee could see it. She looked at him with heavily lidded eyes and whispered, “Sit down.” She pointed to the bed of hay.

Big Mac suddenly felt rather warm, but he did as commanded. He found the jar of bits in its usual spot on the ground, and not on the workbench where they had accounted for his “earnings.” Cheerilee limped to it, not putting too much weight on her forehoof. “Hmmm, now then— the sign says fifty bits, but I’m just a poor teacher.” She summoned an adorable pout. “I can only afford about forty bits; is that enough?”

Big Mac just stared at her, while his brain failed to put anything together. “Uhhhh,” he mumbled, as he had done many times today.

“That sounds good to me. Now what?” she asked, sashaying closer to him. The effect was somewhat broken by her limping, but Big Mac couldn't care less. “I’m feeling rather tense. Do you think you could help with that?”

Big Mac blinked several times, while his brain caught up. He grinned and replied, “Ah git it. Okay, Miss Cheerilee.” He inclined his head. “Ah’m yours.”

“Good.” Cheerilee snuggled up against him, making him swallow the lump in his throat.

Big Mac wrapped a foreleg around her and sighed. He waited for a full minute. She just kept nuzzling his chest, so he asked, “Errr… what do ya wanna talk about?”

Cheerilee arched her head away from him and looked him in the eye. Smiling, she simply replied, “Nothing.”

“Uhhh,” Big Mac mumbled. He put his free hoof to his chin. This wasn’t part of the script he had been taught. “Do ya’ wanna ask a question? A eeeyup er nnnope question?” He asked hopefully.

Cheerilee gave him a devilish grin and chirped, “Nnnope!”

Big Mac chuckled at having his own word thrown back at him. “Well, what do ya’ want?”

Cheerilee moved her muzzle from his chest to his ear, tracing his form. Big Mac shuddered as he felt a wet tongue trace a line up to his ear before she whispered, “You, all to myself.”

Big Mac’s eyes went wide. Wha… how do Ah git outta this? he thought. She kissed him on the cheek before moving lower. He gulped and thought, Hang on a second. Do Ah WANT to git outta this?

Her lips met his, sending a lightning bolt through his body. He had the answer to his question.

NNNOPE!

Comments

[TheMainManeMaineBrony]

Bow-Chicka-Wow-Wow

[Gustauve]

Well, that diffused rather easily. I appreciate the fact that she didn't take him at his word immediately - only fools discount their eyes, after all.

[OmniFox]

He finally gets some *tch tch*.

[Vivid Syntax]

Nothing much to say except, "Yay!" Great buildup to a very cute moment.

[PaulAsaran]

Delightful. Absolutely delightful.

[MustacheMerlin]

Now that I've read this, I think I get why Cheerilee didn't kill him. She wasn't so much mad at what she thought he did, but felt betrayed. Love is weird that way.

[cullexoh]

Do not mess with Miss Cherilee's kids.

That goes double for the ones that ain't born yet

[bearwolf216]

5403554 she gave the unborn ones a pretty solid kick