Roseluck
Big Mac couldn’t believe it; everything had come full circle. Roseluck trotted up to him and pushed him over like a domino. She stood over him and knelt down, her muzzle touching his. Her voice floated back to him out of his memory. “If he offered to give me a roll in the hay, I don’t know what I’d do.” It was Roseluck this time, just like before, and Big Mac’s mouth fell open once again. She didn’t miss a beat; she kissed him, right on the mouth.
Big Mac’s world detonated. She tasted sweet, and wet, like fresh-cut flowers. She gasped and pulled away from him, her eyes lidded and heavy. “Oh, Big Mac, I love you. You smell like cinnamon. I want to smell just like you. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
Big Mac’s eyes went wide, and he quivered. Her gaze was like looking into the setting sun. They were just thin slits below her lids, but the intensity behind them… He turned his head just to look away, to give himself a moment’s reprieve from such fire. “Nnnope.”
“LOOK AT ME!” She screamed and clapped each side of his face with a hoof, bringing his face and eyes back to hers. She glanced desperately at what he had been looking at— the jar of bits. He hadn’t meant to do so, but that’s where he was looking. “Oh, oh, of course...” Her voice fell to just above a whisper. Big Mac quivered as she dumped fifty bits into the jar. At least, he thought it was fifty bits. She didn’t count them when she upturned her saddlebag. At least fifty bits ended up in the jar, and a few more on the floor. She tossed the saddlebag away, and pounced on him. “Better?” she cooed to him.
“E-e-eeyup!” Big Mac couldn’t keep his voice even, because he was shaking in his horseshoes.
She lowered herself, covering him like a blanket, nuzzling into his neck. “Do you know how long I’ve watched you?”
“Nnnope,” he said, trying to keep the totally-creeped-out vibe out of his voice.
“I watch everypony that comes into my flower shop. I’ve seen you in there, browsing, smelling each flower, searching for just the right one.”
“Eeeyup,” Big Mac breathed out a sigh of relief as she nuzzled into his neck. Anything so he didn’t have to look into her eyes, those tiny suns with their damaging fire.
“Just like every other stallion in my shop. You know, flowers are kind of a mare’s thing, but there aren’t many mares that go into my shop,” she giggled. “Especially around Hearts and Hooves day,” she sighed wistfully.
Big Mac didn’t know where she was going with this, but he didn’t want to interrupt, so he just said, “Eeeyup.”
“And you’d think that stallions wouldn’t care about flowers, but on Hearts and Hooves day, in my shop… it’s different.” It seemed to him that she didn’t really want or need a response. He nodded as she continued, “On Hearts and Hooves day, the stallions all choose their flowers so carefully. I’ve seen stallions stare for hours, trying to pick a bouquet.” She giggled, “It’s so cute, they don’t know the difference between a tulip, a rose, and a daffodil, but still, they try so hard.”
Big Mac smiled as he remembered trying to get a ring for Cheerilee. The memory was fuzzy, but he remembered how it made him feel. He had to get just the right one. “Eeeyup…” he said dreamily.
Apparently he had said the wrong thing.
Her eyes bore into him, but lost in his thoughts, he didn’t notice until now. “PAY ATTENTION TO ME!” she screamed again. His eyes went wide as he stared at her. She started to grind against him, making him gulp. He could feel sweat trickle down his back as she whispered, “Please, just… don’t ignore me. Not like every other stallion. You know roses are the flower of love, right?”
Big Mac’s entire body went rigid, trying to push her away without moving. “Eeeyup.”
“And after hours of thinking about it, most stallions buy roses,” she sniffed. It happened fast: her eyes closed, and the tears rained onto Big Mac’s face. “But they don’t give them to me! M-my n-name is Roseluck! B-but I d-ho-on’t g-get any r-roses! Or any other f-flowers,” she sobbed. “Why…?”
Big Mac continued to stare at her as he shrugged.
“WHY?!” she screamed at him. “Why won’t you love me? Don’t I deserve love? Just a little? Just a little kiss…” She sank lower, her lips searching for his as she rubbed against him like an itchy cat, moving in a way that sent wonderful shivers up and down his spine. “Please, love me…”
Big Mac’s heart felt like a bird trying to escape as he watched her close in for the kill. So this is what it’s come ta. Big Mac Apple, yer just a dumb stallion, putting up a sign like that. Satisfaction guaranteed ma flank, what am Ah gonna do now? She’s not one ta leave ‘cause of nope an’ eyup. Perhaps it was his racing heart and mind, or perhaps it was plain desperation, but Big Mac had an idea. Ah hope this works.
He sat up, bringing her with him. She still straddled him, but his size only allowed her to kiss his chin. He kept his eyes on her, just in case she made any sudden movements. “Uh, excuse me, I just paid fifty bits. The sign says ‘Satisfaction Guaranteed.’” She pouted and glared at him. “I am not satisfied yet.” He stood and brought her up with him.
He ducked his head under her, and in one motion, lifted her onto his back. “Oh!” she exclaimed, then giggled. “What’s this all about? Are you going to carry me?”
“Eeeyup.” He trotted smoothly out of the back door of the barn, furtively glancing in every direction, searching for witnesses. He got lucky— the barn hid them from the road. Out here, there was nothing but apple trees.
He cantered into the west field. It was only fitting that the trees that got him into trouble would get him out of trouble. On the way, she giggled, “Where are we going?” He just glanced back and smiled at her.
He slowed to a walk in the west field, where the youngest of the apple trees grew, and he stopped to choose. She gasped and hugged him around his neck almost immediately when she figured it out. He could feel wetness on his coat where she nuzzled into him, but he dared not stop.
He took a long time. He had to find just the right one, after all. Almost all of them looked white, but on occasion he could find a special, unique one. They weren’t exactly red— more like pink. It took some doing, but he knew of a tree that tended to have pink ones. He found a winner just above his head. Darker than its cousins, it had turned just the right shade of red.
As he set her down at the base of the apple tree, he could feel her shaking. He made sure to look at her, watch her, check her, think about her. Her eyes glistened in the sunlight, but she did not weep. Big Mac faced her and put a forehoof to the apple tree. Bucking it would have made them all fall. Only an expert can get a single target to fall from an apple tree with a forehoof.
Big Mac qualified as an expert.
The apple blossom fell into his waiting forehoof. On the cusp of turning into an apple, it looked like it would wilt at any moment, but it carried a heady scent. Honeysuckle wafted into her nose as he knelt and proffered it to her.
“F-for me?” Now she did start to cry, but she still smiled. “Y-you p-picked this one just for me?”
“Eeeyup.”
She couldn’t look at him; she only looked at the apple blossom in her hoof, with tears streaming down her face. “It’s a rose…” Big Mac blinked and tilted his head. He had only found the next best thing to a rose, right? “Apple blossoms are in the same family as roses. Every florist knows that. Did you?” She looked up at him, her eyes clear. He dared not look away, that intensity still lurked behind them.
“Nnnope!” Big Mac shook his head.
She smiled; it was like a sunrise. It filled her entire face. Big Mac just stood there, waiting, while the bees and apple blossom flowers floated around him like snow. She wiped her eyes once, sighed, and said, “Time to get back to work, for both of us.” Big Mac shook his head once, like he’d been struck. She acted like a new mare. Swiftly, she hugged him and whispered into his ear, “This flower is worth more than fifty bits to me. Will you come by and… choose a flower again sometime?”
“Eeeyup.”
“Thank you, Big Mac.” And then she darted away, weaving in between the apple trees and out of sight. He shrugged and rubbed his mane with his forehoof; it came back damp with tears.
Big Mac blinked and realized he needed to be in the barn— what if he had another customer? He cantered back into the barn through the back door. Shutting it quietly, he trotted back to the bed of hay. He gathered up the spare bits scattered around the floor and put them into the jar with a few clinks. He sat down on the pile of hay and let out the breath he felt he had been holding for the last hour.
Ponyfeathers, Ah still need more bits. What am Ah doin’? he thought as he realized he had just plopped his flank right back into the same situation he was in only a few hours ago. This is serious business, he thought. Ah’m all stressed out. Ah need to relax. Ah should just take the sign down an’ have lunch. He stood and took a deep breath. Things were going well so far; surely he deserved a break.
The barn door swung open and a pony darted inside. It closed with a soft squeak, cloaking the barn in shade. “Psst, Big Mac, are you in here?”
Big Mac froze. What new trouble had he gotten himself into? The voiced sounded like a mare’s, an oddly familiar one. It sounded so official, yet when she spoke next, the edge in it changed. The voice became soft, sultry, weak, pleading. “Oh, Big Mac, I’m in need of some relief. You’ll take care of me, won’t you?”
“E-eyup.” Big Mac tried to relax. He might have a chance to take charge this time. Maybe he could figure out a way to—
The mare stepped into the light. She took leathers out of her saddlebags, along with a crop. Along with a pair of fuzzy hoofcuffs, a feather, and… ANOTHER crop? This one had a little metal tip on it. Big Mac shuddered to think what it would feel like for his flesh to be struck repeatedly with such an instrument. “You’ll stay quiet about this, right? I need you to keep quiet.” She chuckled and added softly, “but it’s alright if we scream in here, right? It’s nice and secluded?”
“Eyup.” Big Mac’s words were clipped as he stared at the equipment arrayed before him. Ah have no idea how ta use this stuff! Big Mac had only heard about ponies who used these things, while he still had little experience with vanilla relationships. He felt like as if he were falling without a pair of wings. He could do nothing as he watched her deposit fifty bits into his jar.
It’s unwise to disappoint a customer. Especially when your sign says “Satisfaction Guaranteed.” Especially when your customer just might use her political influence to destroy you.
Mayor Mare stepped close to Big Mac and smiled. “Oh please, I beg you, let’s get started!”
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E tu, Mayor Mare?
We all know Mayor Mare is kinky for Big Mac.
Every single one of these chapters ends with an amazing twist that makes me drop my face in my hands and shriek, "oh, gosh, no!"
And yet it's surprisingly sweet.
4452300
Originally each chapter was going to end once that character left the scene, but I figured it would be more exciting to break it right after starting the next scene. It doesn't surprise or engage me, of course, because I know what's coming next, but I didn't write this for me. I wrote it for YOU!
Wanna know what happens next? I'm thinking... Wednesday evening.
4452332 It IS more exciting that way!
Lol.
Fuzzy cuffs. Go real or go home!
In all seriousness, that thing with roseluck was sweet, and great to know I am not the only one who thinks mayor mare is a closet freak
Still no Big Mac getting creeped out by a gay? Or completely misinterpreting someone?
4447664
4447741
Or you can just go here.
Wow...
Okay then - I guess you get those votes any way you can.
I somehow knew that is was Mayor Mare, before she even spoke a second time. I think that's a bad sign.
Aaaaaw... That end part with Rose was adorable and honestly heartwarming.
And Mayor Mare?
You've discovered one of my weaknesses! How?!
Trust in the innocent world of Equestria to give you a legion of mares who end up being satisfied with something other than advertised.
4451975 It's Ponyville. Who isn't kinky for Big Mac?
5265682 Applejack. At least I'm pretty sure Applejack isn't kinky for Big Mac.
This is getting funnier and funnier.
My God these mares have issues!