A Wise Man Once Said…
A quiet morning. A piping hot cup of steaming, black coffee. A copy of Charming Quill’s latest novel, Remembrance of Forgotten Times.
Cracking open the paperback, Graves settled into his armchair and began to read, a faint smile coming to his face that wasn’t completely from the quality of the words. Even after nearly a year in Ponyville, the marshal still wasn’t quite accustomed to having so much leisure. But it was a good kind of unaccustomed, like when you replace an old mattress with a much nicer one. Sure, it’s not what you’re completely familiar with, but it’s so soft and deliciously plush that after the first night, you start wondering how you’d ever managed to fall asleep on such a lumpy bag of small potatoes before.
A sip of good joe. A quiet crinkling of a freshly turned page. His smile grew.
“GRAAAAAAVES!”
And just like that, the silence exploded in a cacophony of slamming doors and stomping feet. Sweetie Belle, the cotton candy headed youngster stormed into his living room, livid eyes flashing, sundress abillowing, and her squishy cheeks puffing out in barely suppressed outrage.
“Graves!” she hollered at the top of her chirpy lungs. “Rarity’s being a big old poopy headed meany!”
“I most certainly am not!” the incensed, but still beautiful lady in question exclaimed as she arrived hot on her diminutive sister’s heels. Amazing how even this early in the morning, her makeup was already flawless and her clothes elegant perfection, an effect only slightly marred by the lightning positively shooting from her sapphire eyes. “I am simply trying to keep my clearly misguided fool of a little sister from engaging in an unquestionable piece of pure buffoonery.”
“I am not a baboon!” Sweetie Belle screeched as she stamped her little feet. “All I want is to try and get my cutie mark just like all the other girls in school!”
“By summoning demons?!” the pretty dressmaker gaped, each word fully laden with twenty odd pounds of grade A exasperation. “You have got to be joking!”
“It’s only a little one, gosh!” the little girl returned with equal, if not greater... furor? It was honestly hard to tell – she was clearly upset, but the squeakiness of her voice wasn’t doing her outrage any favors. “Mel Borgia’s only a demon from the eighth circle of torment. Eighth! That’s like, seven away from the first, and we all know that the most important things go first, so what’s the big deal?”
“Sweetie Belle, there are so many things wrong with that statement, I don’t even know where to begin.”
“You never do!” the younger sibling cried as her face began to turn a most remarkable shade of purple. “You always treat me like a little kid and never let me try anything new!”
“I treat you like a child because you are a child!” Rarity shot back, hand flung high in the air with a fantastic roll of the eyes. “For goodness sakes, Sweetie Belle, you’re not even eleven yet!”
“Yeah, and still without a cutie mark!”
“But summoning hell spawn isn’t going to help!”
“Well it might!”
“Ooh… Graves, tell her how absolutely preposterous all of this sounds.”
“Yeah Graves! Tell my sister how she’s being a complete dumb butt.”
The marshal paused, looking for a moment into Rarity’s flashing sapphire blues and then for a bit into Sweetie Belle’s blazing emerald greens. It was fascinating really, how similar those two sets of eyes were. You could really tell they were sisters just from the way they glared icy death at the marshal, just daring him to make a move.
“Well, Graves?” Rarity continued, a dangerous edge coming into her voice. “What do you say?”
The marshal closed his book as he considered the situation, brow furrowing with deep thought. He scratched his chin for a moment before looking back to the ladies, fixing his gunmetal grey eyes on each in turn. Finally, Graves set the book aside, gave a slight nod, and simply said,
“Nope.”
With a loud bang, the soldier’s living room instantly filled with dense, gray smoke. Coughing and eyes watering, Rarity pulled out her wand and summoned a small gust of wind to vent the room. By the time the haze had cleared, Graves was nowhere to be found. In fact, all the two sisters could see was a gently creaking window pane and curtains fluttering in the breeze as the figure of a man in a long, brown coat disappeared into the horizon.
Was it a cowardly move that Graves had made? Maybe. Was it a very smart move that had saved him from a certain, grisly demise?
Absolutely, positively, and unequivocally yes.
**********
Good man, but just remember... you're not getting any for a good long while!
Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
4480010 He probably still hasn't gotten any And it would be really funny if Graves put a booty embargo on Rarity after a fight
Wise man, only a complete idiot makes the judgement of Solomon. Although frankly you have to be rather thick to get into a position where you would be called upon to make a decision between two women, it's basic Man Subtlety 101: Never get caught between two females if you value the following: Your eardrums, cheeks, bollocks, sleep, sanity, peace, personal property, private space, and right to go to the pub.
You know I usually DONT use the Rinabow dash enoticons but in this case
BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!
Well, discretion is the better part of valor.
Read new chapter. Finished reading new chapter. Lmao
Yep, that was the right choice. No doubt about it.
Judgement: Not ever fight must be fought.
When in doubt...
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Yeah, best plan there was to GTFOASAP. No way in hell was that going to turn out well if he stayed.
I don't know...this one seemed kinda easy. You'd think Equestria, being a country filled with mages and all, would have some pretty hard and fast rules against summoning the denizens of the dark realms without any form of formal education/qualification with severe penalties if broken, provided the summoner in question has, ya know, her soul intact after the experience. It seems fairly obvious that Sweetie was trying to play with fire here, so she's pretty clearly in the wrong.
But it was still funny...
Very smart move
Annnd, there goes a warrior with an awful lot of experience.
I when said "little demon" was Malebolgia!!!
A Spawn reference!!!! nice job
Well lets look at the Pros and Cons of that decision
Pros: He just got out of the most dangerous situation known to menkind.
Cons: He now has two women angry at him for not agreeing with them and they are sisters.
Would I have done that way were I in his shoes? Obviously yes, yes I would.
Ever since the judgment of Paris, it's been known that this is a situation every man should avoid at all costs.
Come on it's just Mel Borgia.
Yeah, the moment Graves realised that, at some point, Sweetie, AB and Scoots had shouted: "Cutie Mark Crusaders Necromancers YYYAAAYYY!!!" he realised that this particular argument was just something he didn't need to have in his life.
4526886 Such a keen eye. Like a certain ninja show with orange jumpsuits and headbands.
Well it looks like I reach the end of another awesome fan fic and now I have to wait for an update. I did really enjoy this story, Graves character, his struggles, and his relationship Rarity were fun to read and watch develop. You also had a lot of funny, slice of life stuff too which is kind of weird compared to the tragic parts of the story, but I think the lighter stuff worked. I'm sure how to feel about the format, long stories, short stories, and one chapter stories, weird way to make to a series, but I think it worked. Graves is a really great character he is a funny, determined, badass that succeeded despite of his personally flaws and the crap that he went though, thanks for making him and this series.
Run Forrest Run!!!!
Aaaaaand THAT is why I have nearly maxed out Graves' Agility in the RPG...
I got halfway through the story and I knew exactly what was going to happen.
Even Graves knows it's better to be a live chicken than a dead idiot.
RUN GRAVES, RUN!!!
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I think anyone with a smidgen of common sense would. That being said, Graves did a very intelligent thing.